Doing something that I've been putting off, and then pushing through to finish it. Eg recently sewing a dress. Determined to finish, pushed way to far. Left me in bed for a week
In my culture, the first thing everybody does is shower. Showering can finish all my spoons for the day. These days, I save showering for night time just before bed.
Maybe I should try that, showering at night instead of morning, also I am SO cold natured because of hypothyroidism if I showered at night I could go straight to a warm bed!
Ya know, I didn’t think I was easily fatigued until you started talking about batching fatiguing tasks. Then I thought about how I am practically incapable of going grocery shopping then doing some secondary thing the same day. Heck, even a phone call can do me in for several hours. Also, you saying our limited capacity isn’t our fault was very helpful. Thank you ❤️
For me it was completion based rewards ( like if i can complete this assign i can play a video game or watch TV). This mind set become a sort of way to punish my self for my disability ( so even if i was tired and knew i needed a real break I wouldn't give myself one until i was done). Instead I focus my rewards on smaller things ( like getting started on work, getting out of bed, journaling etc) and just focus on celebrating whatever I get done that day even if it was only a little bit of stuff. ( I have ADHD, dyslexia and anxiety/depression) Like today i meant to get up and start work at 10 but that didn't happen lol- but when i finally did get started I made myself a cup of hot chocolate to celebrate.
It takes me 3 hours to do homework. It also takes me 3 hours to do laundry and 3 more still to do the dishes. Guess what’s going to be done on VERY different days 😂😂😂 Makes sense why my laundry never seems to get done I finally figured it out. No I cannot do the laundry while doing the dishes. Apparently. 😅 who knew 😂
It helps so much to hear that I'm not the only one struggling with getting tasks done and comparing myself to healthier people. It is so hard to not put myself down for not doing as much as I'd want to do or see other people doing. I also question if I'm really sick enough to be tired/resting. Even though I feel exhausted even after a small task sometimes. Why is that?
You're definitely not alone, Amanda. 🥰 And it's also really common to question your own experience and whether are not you really need or deserve the rest your body tells you it needs. This thought process can come from lots of places, including but not limited to: - Medical Gaslighting (for example: being told it's "all in your head") - Going a long time before getting an actual diagnosis, or still seeking one - How our ableist society/culture trains us to idolize perfect productivity That being said, it's still possible to self-sabotage when you have a chronic illness, invisible disability, or mental illness. It can be a really fine and confusing line to navigate (i.e. "Do I actually need rest right now or am I sabotaging myself?"), but it gets easier over time. This is something I help my clients inside my membership with all the time.
Estimating tasks to take 3x longer, this explains so much, I'm good at estimating how long it will take me to do something, the part that hangs me up is like when I look at the kitchen and think oh my god this is going to take at least an hour to clean up and I start freaking out and shutting down and my husband will be like what's the big deal, that will only take like 10 minutes to clean up, maybe for him yes, but not me. Or when I'm watching one of my favorite youtubers and they show their kitchen disaster and talk about how it will only take them 5 minutes to tidy up and I'm wonder if they are capable of moving FTL or something because I know it would take me way longer.
I paused at 3 sorry I just wanted to say today was the first time I did “the most important task that takes all my spoons that was getting up early brushed my teeth and did my facial regimen. You have no idea the guilt I feel when I don’t do my hygienic routine for hours and hours. That’s what brought me to you after I did what might seem so simple to the healthy early in the morning I sat down started feeling exhausted that’s again how I found your TH-cam channel. I needed to know why am I so tired? I need to take a nap. It’s that bad thank you for sharing your story. I think I’m going to leave it halfway through and restore. Hopefully my spoons back I will see you later though. ✌️🌎🌏🌍💜
Readjusting deadlines and how long things take us is genius! There have been so many times when I've said, "oh, there's no reason I can't get that done in a week", and then there are tons of reasons. It's hard to adjust that expectation, but I love your advice to triple it. That reduces the. number of spoons required to figure out a deadline ;) Great video!! Thank you!!!!!!!!
Very helpful. Some of these I have been doing by default, there just isn’t a choice. The part about getting out of bed slowly, in a leisurely fashion was very reassuring!
Number one is hard for me, usually I need to get right up to pee and let my dogs out because they can't hold it any more either. The bathroom is downstairs and across the house. Since I am up, I don't go back to bed. I start my coffee and I try to unload the dishwasher. Then I sit down with my coffee, put on some show and then sit like a zombie for the next couple/few hours if I don't have to work early.
Thank you for this video! I feel like I constantly need to remind myself that it's OK to rest. The advice I'm done trying to follow is "Get up at 5 am every day." I've fallen back asleep in the middle of my morning routine because of this. No, unless I actually have to be somewhere, I'm getting up when my body pleases.
🙏 Thank you so much for this, Cassie! Here's an example of bad (or poorly offered advice), and how I modified it. Maybe others will find it useful as well. One very popular time management strategy these days is to use Pomodoros. There are numerous sites/videos on what they are, but many don't mention that poms are also meant to be very flexible. Short version? You work/study/focus on one task for a set period of time and then have a break for a set period of time. The idea is to get past procrastination [procrastination is not really our focus here, but that's the general idea] and to break up larger tasks into smaller more manageable tasks. For example, if you are a student you could study for 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. That 25/5 session would be one pom. The suggestion usually is to do four of those to end up with a 2-hour study/work session and then take a longer break. ✨ Here's the fun part for us spoonies! There is no rule that says you can't set your pom to work/study/focus for 20 minutes and then have a 10 minute break, right? There is also no rule that says you must do this for an entire 8-hour work day, or whatever. People do poms in all sorts of ways: 20/10, 25/5, 45/15, 50/10. You really can set them up to work for you. The idea is to focus for a set time on just one thing (maybe your frog for the day), but it also reminds you to take breaks at set intervals. It can be easy to forget to take a break. Even sitting in a poor posture at the computer can very quickly turn into a painful experience. So, the reminder to take breaks is helpful for me at least. 👉 Here's how I use all of this...Cassie was mentioning in this video about doing physical tasks and how that can wear you out if you do too much at once. I'm an online student, so I get to set my own hours which helps a lot. I do use the Pomodoro method sometimes, and I'm learning more ways to use it more often that are useful for me. What I have noticed is that if I make my break time just a bit longer, I can sneak in a small household chore during the break. So, during a 10-minute study break I might run to the restroom, grab a drink from the kitchen, and fold a small load of laundry or empty last night's dishes from the dishwasher. This works well to get my blood flowing a bit without being too much on most days, and then I don't have as many daily chores waiting for me at the end of the day. Now, I've had chronic migraine since my teens and I'm in my late 40s, so some days nothing gets done. I have those days, too, for sure. Sometimes, I can handle a half-day or just an hour or two. If I have my priorities in order, then I know where to start even if I can't think straight like on those days. I even have a morning self-care list on a post-it note on my bathroom mirror in the order it makes most sense to me so I don't have to decide where to start on those days I can't even think. I used to think that was silly, but I don't care anymore. It is actually helping to reduce decision fatigue. 🐸 Cassie's advice in this video resonated with me and was similar enough to what I do that I wanted to echo her thoughts. Some productivity ideas that you may hear are not all bad--they just need to be adjusted or seen from another perspective. Cassie is right on that, too. If you eat your frog first thing, then you know that the most important task that needed to be done is done. Be unapologetic when making your priorities. It's OK, and most of the time those are the things that make the most difference. Do what you can, and then get your rest when you need it. Taking several breaks throughout the day shows you are wise enough to recognize what you need to do--not that you are weak in some way. I'm convinced that those living with chronic illness often are more resilient and creative than others because we have had to be. Hang in there, y'all! 🙏❤
I have just found this video and your channel at the right time for me. Thank you, this answers why I am slower than my work colleagues to do things. I have chronic pain & fatigue with an anxiety disorder. I'm spending alot of spoons so am working on how to manage me better.
Now I'm legitimately wondering how to eat the frog when my brain literally won't let me, no matter how much I want to - the dopamine deficit due to ADHD is no joke, and sometimes even harder to deal with than the lack of energy from chronic illness.
Solutions for this need to be hyper specific to the individual and the circumstances. I'm happy to hop on a call and troubleshoot with you sometime. 🤗 app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=16161520&appointmentType=7959991
I was thinking the same thing. I loved all the tips in this video but the frog one does not play nice with my ADHD. I've found doing something really small and manageable first gets me going. Doesn't matter what it is, even a fun thing like a few pieces in a puzzle, because the point is the dopamine hit not the task itself.
Hi from South Eastern Australia (near Canberra). I really needed this video so thanks. It took me basically ten years to be kind to me including giving myself permission to do what I can when I can. Blessings, Dot
Thank you so much! I crashed this week, and your video helped me see why. Ive been trying so hard to function just like others who don't have health issues. I'm going to implement your tips -- thank you again 🥰 I subbed immediately
Yessssssssssh I slept an hour in bed just wiggling type stretches til I can sit up, but lately I've been in mad BRAIN FOG and if someone's talking to me not in text I'm ouuuuta of it
Yesss same some day i feel really irritated im in a church Group and they talk everyday and at some point for me its anoyying and i just dont want to talk . Some people dont understand the energy it takes when you try heard to do things . Kind of want to get out but i hold onto being more social i guess.
Hey I am happy I already did some of these! Already lie down for 2h in the morning (on the sofa) and watch my youtube videos. I used to eat the frog too when I was working but didn't know what it was... Thanks for your super helpful videos as always
You're not alone. Sometimes walking through all of your responsibilities with a friend or coach can be the best medicine. An objective third party can help you prioritize really quickly.
I literally give myself an hour to do nothing before I get up and start doing things. I feel like if l don't get to “waste” a bit of time in the morning then I can’t prepare mentally. Going straight to work in a rush was awful.
I’m glad you said if you need to pee do get up though and get back to bed because I have bladder issues and the first thing I feel when waking up is intense pain in my bladder 😭 but I’ve been following your advice and getting back to bed afterwards for the last week nonetheless! I find that after 30min of staying in bed I get a bit nauseous I don’t know if other spoonies can relate but a lot of the time lying down to rest for very long times makes me wanna puke 😭 it’s really upsetting since I have to... do that a lot
For me it works better when i put challenging tasks to the end of the day. doing and then rest is complicated because when im exhausted afterwards i can straight go to bed and not feel so bad for beeing down all day 😢
Please may I have your smoothie recipe. I’ve had awful fatigue(11 weeks now)after contracting Covid. I guess there’s no way of knowing how long this will carry on for?
1/3 Cup Quick Oats 1 Tbsp Dark Cocoa Powder Small Handful of Dark Chocolate Chips 1/3 Cup Cottage Cheese 1 & 1/3 Cup Milk Blitz into oblivion. 🤣 A high powered blender is needed for this.
So, if I know my kiddo has to be at daycare at 7, should I be setting my alarm earlier then? Or...? I do tend to work in the bed since I found my work from home job, but he still has to be at daycare by a certain time and my hours are still set 2 days in advance...
What common pieces of time management and productivity advice put you into spoon debt instead of helping you?
Odd one but a jungle piece of jewelry as everyday must, it helps me focus on what I'm doing when it sounds off
Doing something that I've been putting off, and then pushing through to finish it. Eg recently sewing a dress. Determined to finish, pushed way to far. Left me in bed for a week
In my culture, the first thing everybody does is shower. Showering can finish all my spoons for the day. These days, I save showering for night time just before bed.
🤗🤗🤗
I have inadvertently ended up doing this (I have m.e/cfs) but I don’t think I had realised how good an idea it was until reading your comment. Cheers
Maybe I should try that, showering at night instead of morning, also I am SO cold natured because of hypothyroidism if I showered at night I could go straight to a warm bed!
Ooooh... so the fact that it takes me an hour to get out of bed is a productivity hack. I love it!
#Accurate #NotWrong 🤣💖🤗
Ya know, I didn’t think I was easily fatigued until you started talking about batching fatiguing tasks. Then I thought about how I am practically incapable of going grocery shopping then doing some secondary thing the same day. Heck, even a phone call can do me in for several hours.
Also, you saying our limited capacity isn’t our fault was very helpful. Thank you ❤️
For me it was completion based rewards ( like if i can complete this assign i can play a video game or watch TV). This mind set become a sort of way to punish my self for my disability ( so even if i was tired and knew i needed a real break I wouldn't give myself one until i was done). Instead I focus my rewards on smaller things ( like getting started on work, getting out of bed, journaling etc) and just focus on celebrating whatever I get done that day even if it was only a little bit of stuff. ( I have ADHD, dyslexia and anxiety/depression)
Like today i meant to get up and start work at 10 but that didn't happen lol- but when i finally did get started I made myself a cup of hot chocolate to celebrate.
Yes!!! I couldn't agree more. 😍
And now I want hot chocolate. 🤣
It takes me 3 hours to do homework. It also takes me 3 hours to do laundry and 3 more still to do the dishes.
Guess what’s going to be done on VERY different days 😂😂😂
Makes sense why my laundry never seems to get done I finally figured it out.
No I cannot do the laundry while doing the dishes. Apparently. 😅 who knew 😂
It helps so much to hear that I'm not the only one struggling with getting tasks done and comparing myself to healthier people. It is so hard to not put myself down for not doing as much as I'd want to do or see other people doing. I also question if I'm really sick enough to be tired/resting. Even though I feel exhausted even after a small task sometimes. Why is that?
You're definitely not alone, Amanda. 🥰
And it's also really common to question your own experience and whether are not you really need or deserve the rest your body tells you it needs. This thought process can come from lots of places, including but not limited to:
- Medical Gaslighting (for example: being told it's "all in your head")
- Going a long time before getting an actual diagnosis, or still seeking one
- How our ableist society/culture trains us to idolize perfect productivity
That being said, it's still possible to self-sabotage when you have a chronic illness, invisible disability, or mental illness. It can be a really fine and confusing line to navigate (i.e. "Do I actually need rest right now or am I sabotaging myself?"), but it gets easier over time. This is something I help my clients inside my membership with all the time.
@@CassieWinter Good to hear these points and to know I'm definitely not the only one!
I needed this. I'm usually burnt and deep fried by noon. Thank you. You look gorgeous btw
I'm so glad my video helped. And thank you for the compliment! 😊
Estimating tasks to take 3x longer, this explains so much, I'm good at estimating how long it will take me to do something, the part that hangs me up is like when I look at the kitchen and think oh my god this is going to take at least an hour to clean up and I start freaking out and shutting down and my husband will be like what's the big deal, that will only take like 10 minutes to clean up, maybe for him yes, but not me. Or when I'm watching one of my favorite youtubers and they show their kitchen disaster and talk about how it will only take them 5 minutes to tidy up and I'm wonder if they are capable of moving FTL or something because I know it would take me way longer.
I paused at 3 sorry I just wanted to say today was the first time I did “the most important task that takes all my spoons that was getting up early brushed my teeth and did my facial regimen. You have no idea the guilt I feel when I don’t do my hygienic routine for hours and hours. That’s what brought me to you after I did what might seem so simple to the healthy early in the morning I sat down started feeling exhausted that’s again how I found your TH-cam channel. I needed to know why am I so tired? I need to take a nap. It’s that bad thank you for sharing your story. I think I’m going to leave it halfway through and restore. Hopefully my spoons back I will see you later though. ✌️🌎🌏🌍💜
Proud of you for stopping the video to go rest! 💖🥳
Readjusting deadlines and how long things take us is genius! There have been so many times when I've said, "oh, there's no reason I can't get that done in a week", and then there are tons of reasons. It's hard to adjust that expectation, but I love your advice to triple it. That reduces the. number of spoons required to figure out a deadline ;) Great video!! Thank you!!!!!!!!
So glad you found it helpful Katie! I'm thinking this is a good topic to flesh out more in a future video. Would you like that?
Very helpful. Some of these I have been doing by default, there just isn’t a choice. The part about getting out of bed slowly, in a leisurely fashion was very reassuring!
I'm glad I could reassure you. Getting out of bed slowly is so important. 😊
Number one is hard for me, usually I need to get right up to pee and let my dogs out because they can't hold it any more either. The bathroom is downstairs and across the house. Since I am up, I don't go back to bed. I start my coffee and I try to unload the dishwasher. Then I sit down with my coffee, put on some show and then sit like a zombie for the next couple/few hours if I don't have to work early.
Thank you for this video! I feel like I constantly need to remind myself that it's OK to rest. The advice I'm done trying to follow is "Get up at 5 am every day." I've fallen back asleep in the middle of my morning routine because of this. No, unless I actually have to be somewhere, I'm getting up when my body pleases.
👏👏👏
🙏 Thank you so much for this, Cassie! Here's an example of bad (or poorly offered advice), and how I modified it. Maybe others will find it useful as well. One very popular time management strategy these days is to use Pomodoros. There are numerous sites/videos on what they are, but many don't mention that poms are also meant to be very flexible. Short version? You work/study/focus on one task for a set period of time and then have a break for a set period of time. The idea is to get past procrastination [procrastination is not really our focus here, but that's the general idea] and to break up larger tasks into smaller more manageable tasks. For example, if you are a student you could study for 25 minutes and then take a 5 minute break. That 25/5 session would be one pom. The suggestion usually is to do four of those to end up with a 2-hour study/work session and then take a longer break.
✨ Here's the fun part for us spoonies! There is no rule that says you can't set your pom to work/study/focus for 20 minutes and then have a 10 minute break, right? There is also no rule that says you must do this for an entire 8-hour work day, or whatever. People do poms in all sorts of ways: 20/10, 25/5, 45/15, 50/10. You really can set them up to work for you. The idea is to focus for a set time on just one thing (maybe your frog for the day), but it also reminds you to take breaks at set intervals. It can be easy to forget to take a break. Even sitting in a poor posture at the computer can very quickly turn into a painful experience. So, the reminder to take breaks is helpful for me at least.
👉 Here's how I use all of this...Cassie was mentioning in this video about doing physical tasks and how that can wear you out if you do too much at once. I'm an online student, so I get to set my own hours which helps a lot. I do use the Pomodoro method sometimes, and I'm learning more ways to use it more often that are useful for me. What I have noticed is that if I make my break time just a bit longer, I can sneak in a small household chore during the break. So, during a 10-minute study break I might run to the restroom, grab a drink from the kitchen, and fold a small load of laundry or empty last night's dishes from the dishwasher. This works well to get my blood flowing a bit without being too much on most days, and then I don't have as many daily chores waiting for me at the end of the day.
Now, I've had chronic migraine since my teens and I'm in my late 40s, so some days nothing gets done. I have those days, too, for sure. Sometimes, I can handle a half-day or just an hour or two. If I have my priorities in order, then I know where to start even if I can't think straight like on those days. I even have a morning self-care list on a post-it note on my bathroom mirror in the order it makes most sense to me so I don't have to decide where to start on those days I can't even think. I used to think that was silly, but I don't care anymore. It is actually helping to reduce decision fatigue.
🐸 Cassie's advice in this video resonated with me and was similar enough to what I do that I wanted to echo her thoughts. Some productivity ideas that you may hear are not all bad--they just need to be adjusted or seen from another perspective. Cassie is right on that, too. If you eat your frog first thing, then you know that the most important task that needed to be done is done. Be unapologetic when making your priorities. It's OK, and most of the time those are the things that make the most difference. Do what you can, and then get your rest when you need it. Taking several breaks throughout the day shows you are wise enough to recognize what you need to do--not that you are weak in some way. I'm convinced that those living with chronic illness often are more resilient and creative than others because we have had to be. Hang in there, y'all! 🙏❤
I have just found this video and your channel at the right time for me. Thank you, this answers why I am slower than my work colleagues to do things. I have chronic pain & fatigue with an anxiety disorder. I'm spending alot of spoons so am working on how to manage me better.
Now I'm legitimately wondering how to eat the frog when my brain literally won't let me, no matter how much I want to - the dopamine deficit due to ADHD is no joke, and sometimes even harder to deal with than the lack of energy from chronic illness.
Solutions for this need to be hyper specific to the individual and the circumstances. I'm happy to hop on a call and troubleshoot with you sometime. 🤗 app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=16161520&appointmentType=7959991
I was thinking the same thing. I loved all the tips in this video but the frog one does not play nice with my ADHD. I've found doing something really small and manageable first gets me going. Doesn't matter what it is, even a fun thing like a few pieces in a puzzle, because the point is the dopamine hit not the task itself.
@@DonnaCookAuthor Exactly!
Thank you for your advice 😊
Hi from South Eastern Australia (near Canberra). I really needed this video so thanks. It took me basically ten years to be kind to me including giving myself permission to do what I can when I can.
Blessings, Dot
Thank you so much! I crashed this week, and your video helped me see why. Ive been trying so hard to function just like others who don't have health issues. I'm going to implement your tips -- thank you again 🥰 I subbed immediately
Very helpful
Yessssssssssh I slept an hour in bed just wiggling type stretches til I can sit up, but lately I've been in mad BRAIN FOG and if someone's talking to me not in text I'm ouuuuta of it
Oh man I relate to this one SO MUCH 🤣
Yesss same some day i feel really irritated im in a church Group and they talk everyday and at some point for me its anoyying and i just dont want to talk . Some people dont understand the energy it takes when you try heard to do things . Kind of want to get out but i hold onto being more social i guess.
Hard*
Hey I am happy I already did some of these! Already lie down for 2h in the morning (on the sofa) and watch my youtube videos. I used to eat the frog too when I was working but didn't know what it was... Thanks for your super helpful videos as always
Thank you ✨🌷🌸
I struggle deciding which tasks are the priorities:(
You're not alone. Sometimes walking through all of your responsibilities with a friend or coach can be the best medicine. An objective third party can help you prioritize really quickly.
I literally give myself an hour to do nothing before I get up and start doing things. I feel like if l don't get to “waste” a bit of time in the morning then I can’t prepare mentally. Going straight to work in a rush was awful.
I’m glad you said if you need to pee do get up though and get back to bed because I have bladder issues and the first thing I feel when waking up is intense pain in my bladder 😭 but I’ve been following your advice and getting back to bed afterwards for the last week nonetheless! I find that after 30min of staying in bed I get a bit nauseous I don’t know if other spoonies can relate but a lot of the time lying down to rest for very long times makes me wanna puke 😭 it’s really upsetting since I have to... do that a lot
🤗🤗🤗
Love this but how does someone with a job and children pull this off? For me resting uses spoons because my finances and children are being neglected
This is one of the reasons I offer my coaching program, because navigating circumstances like this requires a lot of personalization.
For me it works better when i put challenging tasks to the end of the day. doing and then rest is complicated because when im exhausted afterwards i can straight go to bed and not feel so bad for beeing down all day 😢
Please may I have your smoothie recipe. I’ve had awful fatigue(11 weeks now)after contracting Covid. I guess there’s no way of knowing how long this will carry on for?
1/3 Cup Quick Oats
1 Tbsp Dark Cocoa Powder
Small Handful of Dark Chocolate Chips
1/3 Cup Cottage Cheese
1 & 1/3 Cup Milk
Blitz into oblivion. 🤣 A high powered blender is needed for this.
So, if I know my kiddo has to be at daycare at 7, should I be setting my alarm earlier then? Or...? I do tend to work in the bed since I found my work from home job, but he still has to be at daycare by a certain time and my hours are still set 2 days in advance...
The timer and the focus filter took 4 spoons :( I need help lol
If you're up to it, please tell me more about what's going on and I'll try to help you find a tool that will work for you. 🤗
You look gorgeous i guess eyeliner would suit you❤