Realizing Your Narcissistic "Bestie" Really Never Even Liked You Like That But Mirrored Your Whole Existence For 10 Years Is Horrifying 😫😭 Currently 6 Mnths No Contact After Breaking It Earlier This Year And I Have Never Been Better 😬 Thanks For Your Content
Same thing happened here 8 years. Stood up for myself and she totally started to devalue, isolate, ghost me, future faked, social media subversive posts, then projected on me when she was called out on it. Discarded her first after I did some educational reading. She doesn't seem to care because she had already started to isolate me and is besties with another friend
He has almost nothing he has of himself outside of blending to his family or mirroring me/ competing with me. Several discards, and stages of being when he doesn’t get all things his way. :/ They talk about change, and all like a sinner in church, but it stays the same, and he seems to grieve his own inability to connect to memories that shaped him compared to people who can explain triggers they got better, or be ways if I got “too interdependent”. He wants to leave for three days, and talk about suicide just before it. Only after I ask basics for body boundaries, and consideration. They never clap for me authentically. It’s detached and only for some things, but not actual things beyond that. His pain becomes a card. While the pain is real, he has been this way before those recent traumas.
'Friend-bombing, competing with you, rooting for your downfall, revengeful' wow, totally nailed! I remember two such "friends" in the past. One of them declared that we are 'sisters' pretty much straight away, she was controlling, sulky if others were around, she was stalking a guy (so, quite bonkers in general), and in the end flirted with my bf. The other one, she gave me a very uneasy feeling from the beginning. I think it was her cold empty stare that made me uneasy. I gave her the benefit of the doubt (mistake!). In the end she tried to steal away my bf.
I broke up a narcissistic friendship after 14 years after breaking up with covert narcissistic after 15 years. The ex “best friend” is trying to get the friendship going again so I’ve heard. No way!!! That was the past and I don’t want to go back. I appreciate the good times we had and that is were it ends with me. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen and I’m looking forward to a healthy future!!!
I don’t worry too much about it because my narc friends - don’t have any other friends. A big red flag on this one is when they keep trying to circle back to you in a short amount of time. But I keep my guard up & follow through with my boundaries & actions. And if the narc cuts you off - consider it a blessing.
Wow. You literally just gave me a peek into why my sister sabotage our family members’ perception of me all these years. She HATED how people held me at a high regard and felt like I was taking her shine away. She also hated how my husband publicly showed his love for me and tried to seduce him away from me. Makes me sick just thinking about it.
Geez, lady, thank you for putting this out here. Thouh I don't know all the details of your sisterly dynamic/history, one thing is certain for all situationsJealousy is ugly. It's like you want to advise them go create something awesome with your own thing and stop compare, hate, manipulate, and be crappy toward me because I did "cool things" of my own. They are a family weazle just whispering in everyone's ear who will allow it. One option I can think of and do like is, if folks believe their nonsense, they are not your people. There are literally billions of folks out there who would love to be friends and family-like with you/me/anyone in a similar situation. Personally, my focus is being ready for all goodness to flow into my life and NOT in trying to chase down my sister's B.S. and her "support staff". Best of luck!👑
Both of my sisters flirted with my partners in the past. One of them right in front of my eyes, the other one when I wasn't looking (accidentally caught her doing it).
You are definitely spot on. I've seen this up close. Watched someone lie about being the sole caretaker of a family member with the same rare cancer as the victim. Then they took the victim's stories from Italy and claimed them as their own. Lastly they tried to take the victim's male partner. When the victim cut the narcissist off the narcissist started spreading rumors. Never had I seen someone in their 40's behave like that. The situation was drama on steroids.
@Richard Johanson one of my closest friends of 20+ years is a Psychologist. Personality disorders are basically fixed is my understanding. People can learn new responses but they are who they are from a young age.
Thank u so much for covering this! Cluster b friends are almost harder than romantic cuz we expect “best friends forever”. Especially friends u make as an adult u kinda picture them always being there.
Wow. I'm just stunned. I broke things off with a friend a year ago because of betrayal. I later learned in hindsight that she was a toxic narcissistic person. I had seen things that bothered me over the years but ignored or shrugged off because my life was really busy at the time. She would buy the same clothes, jewelry, do her nails and makeup like me. It was a little creepy. She would pretend she was so spiritual and that she loved gardening and drinking coffee. I thought it was only endearing at first that she was imitating me...calling me her big sister and all. Then little things became big things, like ghosting, uninvites, claiming how she's always had a green thumb and loved being out in nature. Unbelievable...
That sounds so familiar... then ended up resenting me for the things she made me into over the years. Created a traumabond with various threats too ("i will kms" then goes offline and gets me panicking, or blaming me for stuff i have no control over, causing me to feel like i owed something) so whatever she pushed at me i took. Then hated me for it all and twisted as if i pushed them on her. Another self proclaimed "big sister" as-well.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lee! While she has been stalking and harassing me for 15 years, one of the many things my former "friend" and neighbor has told other neighbors is that I'm obsessed with her. The thing about this video that jumped out at me is that I always felt like she was more into our friendship than I was. I didn't recognize that that was love bombing. Thank you for covering narcissists as friends. They're usually a side note to videos about narcissistic partners and neither of my narcissistic partners was anything like this neighbor. She is the worst! (Or maybe the best, depending which side of the fence you're on.)
Thank you this is a whole new level of unveiling for me! Healing from the loudest narcissist in the demo now has me realizing not too many ppl In my life were not narcissists. This video is right on time cuz I have been conflicted. The more I set boundaries the weirder this “friend” acts and side note the two biggest female Narcs I can think of 💯 tried and are trying to emulate my career path. 🙄 -Anna
Holy crap, I’m going thru that right now. Legit the more I start to back away from by ‘BF’ the weirder he gets. Even literally coming up and taking a higher position at a resort I work at, which allows him to not only invade my job of 12 years, but to drive thru my neighborhood multiple times a week to get there, so now he can spy on me. And to top it all off, I’ve got no other friends or anyone else to talk to. This is going to be one hell of a solo epic battle. I’m a dude in my early 40’s and I have to drop down to a 8 yr old girl mentality to try to figure it out. Super, super weird.
Omg my friend did this but I figured it out 13 years later and she’s actually a sociopath. She was spreading lies about me & trying to sabotage my relationships! She even had sex with my brother.
Had a “friend” do exactly what you described. Met my other friends and started hanging out with them without me and talking shit. Crazy how accurate your description of their MO is. ✌️
My 'friend' was so controlling. She'd sulk because I interacted with other people, expected me to report to her on everything and was quick to triangulate me with the other lady in the friend group. She'd ask for counsel but sure didn't need it, our other friend learnt early enough to let her character slide. I'm glad I stopped hanging out with them as soon as I could tell something was fishy.
Thank you so much for posting this. I shared it in the hopes that the few friends that haven't fallen for the smear campaign, take notice and stop falling for his b.s.
I love and appreciate the honesty. It's so helpful to hear how the narcissistic person thinks and acts on those thoughts. I can see how the years of therapy has helped you to manage shame in order to honor and express the truth about your condition. This information is very helpful to us non-narcissists. Just. Amazing. God is good!
Usually when we do not like another person and do not want them in our friendgroup its because they trigger OUR insecurities or because WE feel threatened. If we acknowledge and solve those emotions within ourselves, then our behaviour will change automatically.
My little cousin took on my whole life and I didn’t know. She told people my stories of being abused and all of my career moves. Had no idea. She’s gained quite a pity party and social media following due to this. Thank you for speaking on this. We need to hear it more.
I had this girl that would spreed rumors that wasn't true. She'd lend me her clothes and tell everyone I was trying to be like her. She'd lie and tell ppl I was sleeping when ppl ask why I wasn't coming to hangout I used to help this girl I dropped her after I exposed her she went into revenge mode and turned a bunch of ppl against me it pissed her that I didn't care my true friends knows me and they stuck by me
Never forget - I ghosted the narc "friend" - after a year of not hearing from them & they tried to contact me. So I blocked the number. Next 3minutes a weird number starts calling, like I don't know who it is - so I changed my number bc I decided I was fed up of ppl having Access to me. 20 minutes later, I get a text from a chick that I used to go college with asking if I changed my number & this person was asking for it (she hadn't heard from them in 4years).
Everyone is replaceable. Test that any day. Give them ammunition and see what happens. They want to see you fail. Best friend is a gun. If they come at you, you may not have a choice. They hold grudges. And don’t think they forgot. They may wait but evidently they coming back for you. They aren’t your friends
Yes, that is true! My narcissistic college girl friend hijacked two of my friends and dated 3 of my ex boyfriends! Lol! I couldn't understand back then what was happening.
Most of my narc relationships have been friends. Another thing narcs to is to befriend you, in order to keep their eyes on you, or to control you. I'm going to become your friend to make sure you don't steal my man, kind of thing. We were neighbours, and I started talking to her husband.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, this whole time? Lee, can you please share your thoughts on sociopath vs narcissist? My "close" friend of about 10 years betrayed me like crazy, and is now dating my Narc ex. I can't determine if he's narcissistic, sociopathic or what. I've stuck to no-contact with them both, but was curious how to be better prepared for the future. Apparently I let my guard down way too quick.
Its mindblowing everytime i listen to you. So much i have not been able to understand through years. I am highly intelligent but opperently very naive . Maybe blinded from childhoodtrauma and narscisst influence then. It seems like ive been a magnet and visa versa to narcs . But now i learn fast. Its real hard to face. Any advise ? How do i come to terms with this. Im ill and not able to be very social. But i have to built my life all over. I have had therapy also couples therapy but they were unaware of the narscissist problem and were following the old....focus on your side of the story and litterally blamed me becaurse they fell for the act of the narc and only saw my reaction to it.where to find a therapist with the right skills and knowledge.?
Omggg yes I had a “friend” who I had met a week before my birthday and she threw me a huge birthday dinner and bought me expensive gifts. Even though I told her not to she went all out. Fast forward 1 year I found she was very possessive of me and wanted to be my one and only friend. The straw that broke the camel’s back is when she went off on me for not keeping in contact or calling. I told her I had a husband and this friendship felt weird to me. She got offended that I called this “friendship” off and she blocked me in her phone. Was she a narc or lesbian? Idk 🤷🏽♀️ what that was but it was very exhausting.
YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED MY SITUATION!!!! I luckily escaped her but yes she gave lesbian vibes and found out she has borderline personality disorder/ narcissist personality disorder.
Experienced this at work and in social life. They petty af. The women I work a be going to lunch together w/o me at the prompting of the narc. Idgaf! I just put my notice in making boss moves. This narc asked me about my new job. I ain't tellin her nothing! Im out! Y'all can have her ass!
How to spot a narcissist: 1.) They talk about themselves, constantly. Hardly letting you get a word in. They always have to talk about themselves or turn the conversation back to them. "Me, me, me, me, me, me, me." On the other hand, if you do talk about yourself they will look bored or space out until you are finished. Sometimes they will even be on their phone, ignoring you while you talk. 2.) They come up to you out of the blue, randomly, and ask you for a huge favor even though you are strangers and feel awkward as they ask it because you hardly know them. When you reluctantly agree they say "Thanks Buddy. You are my bff." and then tell other people you are super close. 👯 3.) They get into your personal space and won't leave you alone. If you break up with them, they will show up at your house unannounced and knock on your door and peer through your window like a creeper. Sometimes they will even send you love letters for months and months, never leaving you alone. They don't understand the word "no" If they want you back, and know you will be attending a specific event like your friend's wedding, they will show up even if they weren't invited. coughs Megan. coughs They don't take the hint, and have no social manners/boundaries. 4.) They name their pets/child after themselves and/or celebrate their birthday month with 3 birthday parties. Each on a different day throughout the month. 5.) They embarrass family and friends in public. They will be rude to wait staff and then storm out of the restaurant, leaving you in the dust. "I'm sorry, so sorry about my husband's rude behavior." you will apologize before running after your husband. Meanwhile, your husband is long gone, sitting in the car on his phone. They make you feel like you need to apologize constantly. 6.) They make things weird/awkward. They will ask too personal questions like, "Hey, can you look at my bunion?" or "I think I got a rash on my butt, can you check?" You will feel weird/grossed out and suggest they go see a doctor. "Why would I do that?" they respond, dumbfounded. Like a doctor isn't even part of the equation. 7.) They have low self esteem. "Does my hair look okay?" "Are you SURE I don't look fat?" then they will say "oh my gosh! My hair looks awful. Just awful. What do I do?? My life is over! What will the neighbors think?" They will act dramatic, like their life is over because their hair isn't perfect. 8.) They take things fast. They wanna move in together after knowing you a week. They wanna introduce you to their parents after a month. They paint a beautiful life picture of future vacations, 3 kids, a giant house with a picket fence. Telling you that is what they wanna work towards with you. (Future faking) Everything seems so great, but everything is so moving fast. Too fast. 9.) They may wear cool clothes, expensive sunglasses indoors, and fix their hair often. They may also take selfies constantly and admire their reflection in mirrors. 10.) They tell you how you should feel or what you should do, or tell you what you are feeling is wrong. (Put their ideas onto you) If you are working behind a counter, they will walk up to you and say "You look miserable. You should smile more. That would make customers (them) happy." Or if you are friends with them and they ask "What's your favorite food? I like sushi." And you answer honestly "Oh I don't really like sushi. My favorite food is spaghetti." They will respond, "😱oh no no no, sushi is the best! Here, let's go to a sushi restaurant. I insist! Once you try it I'm sure you will like it." You try to stop them. "I really don't want t-" "Nonsense!" they bulldoze. "Let's go have sushi! It will be your new favorite food in no time! You'll love it, I just know it. It's the best food out there!"
I just want to commend you and I have so much respect for you being transparent in your growth man. I have a close friend that I’m starting to realize has a lot of tendencies. Just want to educate myself more and not judge.
They can pray all they want for my downfall but God does not answer those kind of prayers. They praying to the devil and guess what? My God is all powerful and he protects me from such curse prayers that go to Satan. Their prayers will never succeed because God is elevating me on a whole new level and they have no power over the God I serve 🙏🏽
@@MentalHealness .. I mean not exactly like that girl … but I did get an are you “alright” Hoover voicemail. Didn’t respond, I’m like Dude your not a chick go away.
Man...if i didn't go thru the EXACT things you are speakin on!..WHOA😱🤯😳...woman ended up just TRIFFLING!...and tryin to creep back on in...." I see ya coming, and you AINT gettin in!"💯😎😉
Thank you so much for this video Lee! What happens when you don’t act upon the reverse Hoover? I’ve been discarded for the second time by this friend and last time she reached out to me was 6 months ago, blamed me for the failed friendshit because I didn’t contacted her because I felt this discard coming. I haven’t been in toch with her ever since
My experience is similar. I responded, did not react (no emotion). I think my ex friend has smeared my name but she remains at distance for now. Hope it was the same for you and you have peace now.
Oh yes I was just commenting on another video about narcissist friends. I’ve had plenty of them and they all tried coming back. No apology acting like we’ve always been cool. Nope. Not letting them back in I cut them off
Wow! I didn’t see this but all my friends did. I let the narcissistic friendship go and I can say that I am at peace. Created drama to have a “narrative” to start the smear campaign. Still hovering and I can spot the flying monkeys from a mile away. I just laugh now
OMG narcs are freakn everywhere. I got myself a nice collection . They ruin your life for something stupid like not wanting.to babysit her kid for the thousandth time ..
Odd thought: Expecting that a perceived good quality, that works with someone else, to work for you kind of assumes equal lived experience, as well as trying to step into a behavior anywhere but the ground level of understanding it, appears to be a bad method for existing.
Man have any of you litteraly look into the eyes of someone while they sound so sincere and nice yet you see pure evil in thier eyes and you get the creeps? Cuz that’s exactly what it feels like to look into a narcissist eyes. (Not you Lee Because you’re self aware and actually going into therapy and helping others)
Realizing Your Narcissistic "Bestie" Really Never Even Liked You Like That But Mirrored Your Whole Existence For 10 Years Is Horrifying 😫😭 Currently 6 Mnths No Contact After Breaking It Earlier This Year And I Have Never Been Better 😬 Thanks For Your Content
Hurts like frigging hell.
@@T.Alexis926 It Sure Does 😓
Same thing happened here 8 years. Stood up for myself and she totally started to devalue, isolate, ghost me, future faked, social media subversive posts, then projected on me when she was called out on it. Discarded her first after I did some educational reading. She doesn't seem to care because she had already started to isolate me and is besties with another friend
Yeah i get that ive just gone no contact it was long over due they are not friends they use you like you mean nothing to them
He has almost nothing he has of himself outside of blending to his family or mirroring me/ competing with me. Several discards, and stages of being when he doesn’t get all things his way. :/ They talk about change, and all like a sinner in church, but it stays the same, and he seems to grieve his own inability to connect to memories that shaped him compared to people who can explain triggers they got better, or be ways if I got “too interdependent”. He wants to leave for three days, and talk about suicide just before it. Only after I ask basics for body boundaries, and consideration. They never clap for me authentically. It’s detached and only for some things, but not actual things beyond that. His pain becomes a card. While the pain is real, he has been this way before those recent traumas.
A narcissistic friend don't "get rid of you". You are supply. Healthy people cut contact.
For real. Narcs neeed that Grade A supply. It’s hard to get premium so they wanna keep it.
'Friend-bombing, competing with you, rooting for your downfall, revengeful' wow, totally nailed!
I remember two such "friends" in the past. One of them declared that we are 'sisters' pretty much straight away, she was controlling, sulky if others were around, she was stalking a guy (so, quite bonkers in general), and in the end flirted with my bf. The other one, she gave me a very uneasy feeling from the beginning. I think it was her cold empty stare that made me uneasy. I gave her the benefit of the doubt (mistake!). In the end she tried to steal away my bf.
Same, same, sammmme
Sounds like someone we all know ❤
I broke up a narcissistic friendship after 14 years after breaking up with covert narcissistic after 15 years. The ex “best friend” is trying to get the friendship going again so I’ve heard. No way!!! That was the past and I don’t want to go back. I appreciate the good times we had and that is were it ends with me. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen and I’m looking forward to a healthy future!!!
I'm struggling with ending mine.
@@Kirstenmarshall Hi 😊, just cut them off . Go no contact and focus on yourself
@@peteswalehe236 I did. Thank you!
@@Kirstenmarshall Good. I love it
Mine also lasted 14 years! I'm on the same page.
I don’t worry too much about it because my narc friends - don’t have any other friends. A big red flag on this one is when they keep trying to circle back to you in a short amount of time. But I keep my guard up & follow through with my boundaries & actions. And if the narc cuts you off - consider it a blessing.
Wow. You literally just gave me a peek into why my sister sabotage our family members’ perception of me all these years. She HATED how people held me at a high regard and felt like I was taking her shine away. She also hated how my husband publicly showed his love for me and tried to seduce him away from me. Makes me sick just thinking about it.
Geez, lady, thank you for putting this out here. Thouh I don't know all the details of your sisterly dynamic/history, one thing is certain for all situationsJealousy is ugly. It's like you want to advise them go create something awesome with your own thing and stop compare, hate, manipulate, and be crappy toward me because I did "cool things" of my own. They are a family weazle just whispering in everyone's ear who will allow it. One option I can think of and do like is, if folks believe their nonsense, they are not your people. There are literally billions of folks out there who would love to be friends and family-like with you/me/anyone in a similar situation. Personally, my focus is being ready for all goodness to flow into my life and NOT in trying to chase down my sister's B.S. and her "support staff". Best of luck!👑
Both of my sisters flirted with my partners in the past. One of them right in front of my eyes, the other one when I wasn't looking (accidentally caught her doing it).
The one I knew slept with her sisters husband and once it all came out she played the victim and said he raped her.
@@kynathomas4809 🤯
Similar story to mine. I’ve been free for three years now
You are definitely spot on. I've seen this up close. Watched someone lie about being the sole caretaker of a family member with the same rare cancer as the victim. Then they took the victim's stories from Italy and claimed them as their own. Lastly they tried to take the victim's male partner. When the victim cut the narcissist off the narcissist started spreading rumors. Never had I seen someone in their 40's behave like that. The situation was drama on steroids.
@Richard Johanson sorry to hear that.
@Richard Johanson one of my closest friends of 20+ years is a Psychologist. Personality disorders are basically fixed is my understanding. People can learn new responses but they are who they are from a young age.
They will whisper your success and shout your failures. Wow.
We need more on the friendships🙌🏾👍🏾
Thank u so much for covering this! Cluster b friends are almost harder than romantic cuz we expect “best friends forever”. Especially friends u make as an adult u kinda picture them always being there.
Wow. I'm just stunned. I broke things off with a friend a year ago because of betrayal. I later learned in hindsight that she was a toxic narcissistic person. I had seen things that bothered me over the years but ignored or shrugged off because my life was really busy at the time. She would buy the same clothes, jewelry, do her nails and makeup like me. It was a little creepy. She would pretend she was so spiritual and that she loved gardening and drinking coffee. I thought it was only endearing at first that she was imitating me...calling me her big sister and all. Then little things became big things, like ghosting, uninvites, claiming how she's always had a green thumb and loved being out in nature. Unbelievable...
That sounds so familiar... then ended up resenting me for the things she made me into over the years. Created a traumabond with various threats too ("i will kms" then goes offline and gets me panicking, or blaming me for stuff i have no control over, causing me to feel like i owed something) so whatever she pushed at me i took. Then hated me for it all and twisted as if i pushed them on her. Another self proclaimed "big sister" as-well.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lee! While she has been stalking and harassing me for 15 years, one of the many things my former "friend" and neighbor has told other neighbors is that I'm obsessed with her. The thing about this video that jumped out at me is that I always felt like she was more into our friendship than I was. I didn't recognize that that was love bombing. Thank you for covering narcissists as friends. They're usually a side note to videos about narcissistic partners and neither of my narcissistic partners was anything like this neighbor. She is the worst! (Or maybe the best, depending which side of the fence you're on.)
Thank you this is a whole new level of unveiling for me! Healing from the loudest narcissist in the demo now has me realizing not too many ppl In my life were not narcissists. This video is right on time cuz I have been conflicted. The more I set boundaries the weirder this “friend” acts and side note the two biggest female Narcs I can think of 💯 tried and are trying to emulate my career path. 🙄 -Anna
Holy crap, I’m going thru that right now. Legit the more I start to back away from by ‘BF’ the weirder he gets. Even literally coming up and taking a higher position at a resort I work at, which allows him to not only invade my job of 12 years, but to drive thru my neighborhood multiple times a week to get there, so now he can spy on me. And to top it all off, I’ve got no other friends or anyone else to talk to. This is going to be one hell of a solo epic battle. I’m a dude in my early 40’s and I have to drop down to a 8 yr old girl mentality to try to figure it out. Super, super weird.
This is also Jealousy!!
Omg my friend did this but I figured it out 13 years later and she’s actually a sociopath. She was spreading lies about me & trying to sabotage my relationships! She even had sex with my brother.
Had a “friend” do exactly what you described. Met my other friends and started hanging out with them without me and talking shit. Crazy how accurate your description of their MO is. ✌️
My 'friend' was so controlling. She'd sulk because I interacted with other people, expected me to report to her on everything and was quick to triangulate me with the other lady in the friend group. She'd ask for counsel but sure didn't need it, our other friend learnt early enough to let her character slide. I'm glad I stopped hanging out with them as soon as I could tell something was fishy.
Thank you so much for posting this. I shared it in the hopes that the few friends that haven't fallen for the smear campaign, take notice and stop falling for his b.s.
I love and appreciate the honesty. It's so helpful to hear how the narcissistic person thinks and acts on those thoughts. I can see how the years of therapy has helped you to manage shame in order to honor and express the truth about your condition. This information is very helpful to us non-narcissists. Just. Amazing. God is good!
Usually when we do not like another person and do not want them in our friendgroup its because they trigger OUR insecurities or because WE feel threatened.
If we acknowledge and solve those emotions within ourselves, then our behaviour will change automatically.
So glad I don’t have friends like this. I don’t have many friends though, so that helps.
Them backhand compliments 😡. Thank you 🙏🙏
My little cousin took on my whole life and I didn’t know. She told people my stories of being abused and all of my career moves. Had no idea. She’s gained quite a pity party and social media following due to this. Thank you for speaking on this. We need to hear it more.
Omg that's so sick! Honestly. How are you healing from that? Wishing you well ❤
I love watching your videos. Helps me to understand my ex husband. I had to leave in March if 2020 after 39 years.
Thank you so much for being so honest and open. This really helps me! All of your content has helped me to move forward and be stronger.
I had this girl that would spreed rumors that wasn't true. She'd lend me her clothes and tell everyone I was trying to be like her. She'd lie and tell ppl I was sleeping when ppl ask why I wasn't coming to hangout I used to help this girl I dropped her after I exposed her she went into revenge mode and turned a bunch of ppl against me it pissed her that I didn't care my true friends knows me and they stuck by me
Never forget - I ghosted the narc "friend" - after a year of not hearing from them & they tried to contact me. So I blocked the number. Next 3minutes a weird number starts calling, like I don't know who it is - so I changed my number bc I decided I was fed up of ppl having Access to me. 20 minutes later, I get a text from a chick that I used to go college with asking if I changed my number & this person was asking for it (she hadn't heard from them in 4years).
I cut them off. I don't tell anyone anything I wouldn't post on FB. So smear away. You cut awff!awful! I was raised by a narc. Lived it.
Hello. Mr. Lee. I have had all these kinds of friends that why I let them go. You are exactly right about the narcissist friends and everything.
Everyone is replaceable. Test that any day. Give them ammunition and see what happens. They want to see you fail. Best friend is a gun. If they come at you, you may not have a choice. They hold grudges. And don’t think they forgot. They may wait but evidently they coming back for you. They aren’t your friends
Yes, that is true! My narcissistic college girl friend hijacked two of my friends and dated 3 of my ex boyfriends! Lol! I couldn't understand back then what was happening.
Most of my narc relationships have been friends. Another thing narcs to is to befriend you, in order to keep their eyes on you, or to control you. I'm going to become your friend to make sure you don't steal my man, kind of thing. We were neighbours, and I started talking to her husband.
I found this out the hard way
Every friend ...I got rid of them all
I have one good friend now
And building
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, this whole time?
Lee, can you please share your thoughts on sociopath vs narcissist?
My "close" friend of about 10 years betrayed me like crazy, and is now dating my Narc ex. I can't determine if he's narcissistic, sociopathic or what. I've stuck to no-contact with them both, but was curious how to be better prepared for the future. Apparently I let my guard down way too quick.
Its mindblowing everytime i listen to you. So much i have not been able to understand through years. I am highly intelligent but opperently very naive . Maybe blinded from childhoodtrauma and narscisst influence then. It seems like ive been a magnet and visa versa to narcs . But now i learn fast. Its real hard to face. Any advise ? How do i come to terms with this. Im ill and not able to be very social. But i have to built my life all over. I have had therapy also couples therapy but they were unaware of the narscissist problem and were following the old....focus on your side of the story and litterally blamed me becaurse they fell for the act of the narc and only saw my reaction to it.where to find a therapist with the right skills and knowledge.?
Male narcs are extremely clingy as friends lmao. Hell the ones I knew…KNEW were in the streets & violent. Lmfao 😂🤦🏽♂️
😯
Omggg yes I had a “friend” who I had met a week before my birthday and she threw me a huge birthday dinner and bought me expensive gifts. Even though I told her not to she went all out. Fast forward 1 year I found she was very possessive of me and wanted to be my one and only friend. The straw that broke the camel’s back is when she went off on me for not keeping in contact or calling. I told her I had a husband and this friendship felt weird to me. She got offended that I called this “friendship” off and she blocked me in her phone. Was she a narc or lesbian? Idk 🤷🏽♀️ what that was but it was very exhausting.
They will give you lesbian vibes. It's crazy!
Could of been bpd also , you could have been one of her “favourite people “
My old BFF did the same thing 24 yrs down the drain. Lesbian……idk ……. Controlling yup. I’m good. 😜😜🤨🤨🥳🥳🥰🥰
YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED MY SITUATION!!!! I luckily escaped her but yes she gave lesbian vibes and found out she has borderline personality disorder/ narcissist personality disorder.
@@kynathomas4809 WOW!!!!!!!!!!
Experienced this at work and in social life. They petty af. The women I work a be going to lunch together w/o me at the prompting of the narc. Idgaf! I just put my notice in making boss moves. This narc asked me about my new job. I ain't tellin her nothing! Im out! Y'all can have her ass!
How to spot a narcissist:
1.) They talk about themselves, constantly. Hardly letting you get a word in. They always have to talk about themselves or turn the conversation back to them.
"Me, me, me, me, me, me, me."
On the other hand, if you do talk about yourself they will look bored or space out until you are finished. Sometimes they will even be on their phone, ignoring you while you talk.
2.) They come up to you out of the blue, randomly, and ask you for a huge favor even though you are strangers and feel awkward as they ask it because you hardly know them.
When you reluctantly agree they say "Thanks Buddy. You are my bff." and then tell other people you are super close. 👯
3.) They get into your personal space and won't leave you alone. If you break up with them, they will show up at your house unannounced and knock on your door and peer through your window like a creeper. Sometimes they will even send you love letters for months and months, never leaving you alone. They don't understand the word "no"
If they want you back, and know you will be attending a specific event like your friend's wedding, they will show up even if they weren't invited.
coughs Megan. coughs
They don't take the hint, and have no social manners/boundaries.
4.) They name their pets/child after themselves and/or celebrate their birthday month with 3 birthday parties. Each on a different day throughout the month.
5.) They embarrass family and friends in public. They will be rude to wait staff and then storm out of the restaurant, leaving you in the dust.
"I'm sorry, so sorry about my husband's rude behavior." you will apologize before running after your husband. Meanwhile, your husband is long gone, sitting in the car on his phone.
They make you feel like you need to apologize constantly.
6.) They make things weird/awkward.
They will ask too personal questions like, "Hey, can you look at my bunion?" or "I think I got a rash on my butt, can you check?"
You will feel weird/grossed out and suggest they go see a doctor.
"Why would I do that?" they respond, dumbfounded. Like a doctor isn't even part of the equation.
7.) They have low self esteem.
"Does my hair look okay?"
"Are you SURE I don't look fat?" then they will say "oh my gosh! My hair looks awful. Just awful. What do I do?? My life is over! What will the neighbors think?"
They will act dramatic, like their life is over because their hair isn't perfect.
8.) They take things fast. They wanna move in together after knowing you a week. They wanna introduce you to their parents after a month. They paint a beautiful life picture of future vacations, 3 kids, a giant house with a picket fence. Telling you that is what they wanna work towards with you. (Future faking)
Everything seems so great, but everything is so moving fast. Too fast.
9.) They may wear cool clothes, expensive sunglasses indoors, and fix their hair often.
They may also take selfies constantly and admire their reflection in mirrors.
10.) They tell you how you should feel or what you should do, or tell you what you are feeling is wrong. (Put their ideas onto you)
If you are working behind a counter, they will walk up to you and say "You look miserable. You should smile more. That would make customers (them) happy."
Or if you are friends with them and they ask "What's your favorite food? I like sushi."
And you answer honestly "Oh I don't really like sushi. My favorite food is spaghetti."
They will respond, "😱oh no no no, sushi is the best! Here, let's go to a sushi restaurant. I insist! Once you try it I'm sure you will like it."
You try to stop them. "I really don't want t-"
"Nonsense!" they bulldoze. "Let's go have sushi! It will be your new favorite food in no time! You'll love it, I just know it. It's the best food out there!"
I just want to commend you and I have so much respect for you being transparent in your growth man. I have a close friend that I’m starting to realize has a lot of tendencies. Just want to educate myself more and not judge.
This is wild 😳 definitely an eye opener.
They can pray all they want for my downfall but God does not answer those kind of prayers. They praying to the devil and guess what? My God is all powerful and he protects me from such curse prayers that go to Satan. Their prayers will never succeed because God is elevating me on a whole new level and they have no power over the God I serve 🙏🏽
this was a good one, Lee. I see it is from 2 years ago, but I needed it today. THANK YOU!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Total truth! Have two. NC with one, who is also a neighbor. OMG. The other low
Yup.. got a MALE friend that started acting like my old narc girlfriend. it was getting creepy. Cut off… I don’t have time for Mickey Mouse stuff.
Wow
Yikes
@@MentalHealness .. I mean not exactly like that girl … but I did get an are you “alright” Hoover voicemail. Didn’t respond, I’m like Dude your not a chick go away.
It is all true. All. Each word.
Man...if i didn't go thru the EXACT things you are speakin on!..WHOA😱🤯😳...woman ended up just TRIFFLING!...and tryin to creep back on in...." I see ya coming, and you AINT gettin in!"💯😎😉
They have books on their shelf like "NLP and how to use it".
Was waiting on this!
Thank you so much for this video Lee! What happens when you don’t act upon the reverse Hoover? I’ve been discarded for the second time by this friend and last time she reached out to me was 6 months ago, blamed me for the failed friendshit because I didn’t contacted her because I felt this discard coming. I haven’t been in toch with her ever since
My experience is similar. I responded, did not react (no emotion). I think my ex friend has smeared my name but she remains at distance for now. Hope it was the same for you and you have peace now.
Oh yes I was just commenting on another video about narcissist friends. I’ve had plenty of them and they all tried coming back. No apology acting like we’ve always been cool. Nope. Not letting them back in I cut them off
Wow! I didn’t see this but all my friends did. I let the narcissistic friendship go and I can say that I am at peace. Created drama to have a “narrative” to start the smear campaign. Still hovering and I can spot the flying monkeys from a mile away. I just laugh now
Wow...Spot on Lee.!!🤭
I had someone in my life who did ALL of these thing's. Something told me she was bat shit crazy and WOW! she was a real crazy nut.
Yes no need to reconcile
😂😭 "When the plan came together"💀🤣💀
Noooo😩
OMG narcs are freakn everywhere. I got myself a nice collection . They ruin your life for something stupid like not wanting.to babysit her kid for the thousandth time ..
Odd thought: Expecting that a perceived good quality, that works with someone else, to work for you kind of assumes equal lived experience, as well as trying to step into a behavior anywhere but the ground level of understanding it, appears to be a bad method for existing.
So... It's exactly like the romantic relationships?
Can you do video on the difference between a normal relationship and a narcissistic one 🤔
The one I knew tried to get my narcissist mother’s phone number bc she doesn’t like the way my mom treats me lol wooooo we have no one in common.
Don't trust anyone simple as
100k Lee🥰🥰👍🏾👍🏾
What made you want to get therapy?
He was alone. No more enablers and his wife (temporarily) left.
Man have any of you litteraly look into the eyes of someone while they sound so sincere and nice yet you see pure evil in thier eyes and you get the creeps? Cuz that’s exactly what it feels like to look into a narcissist eyes. (Not you Lee Because you’re self aware and actually going into therapy and helping others)
You’re so tall !!
does every narcissist feel an emotional emptiness?
💯✅🙌
When are you going to have the conversation of narcissists being secretly gay?. I notice you dont talk about that part of narcissism
So how does anyone take anything you do or say as genuine?
Can't speak for him, but I'm assuming the attention he receives is a source of fuel/supply.
Spouses do this too.
Another reason to make them FORMER spouses.😉
❤️
Johan