Whuuhoo..! Got me my first ever mention in a video. Thanks Ned. \m/ Kidding aside, female jealousy IS a big problem for guys (both foreign and locals mind you). In my experience on the matter, "jealousy" usually comes from the Filipinas being insecure and very emotional and for not the usual reason a non-native would think. Bare with me as I try to explain. The Filipina instinctively feels she has a duty (sic) to provide her man with happiness & contentment; from the small stuff like making a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it, cooking, a clean house & so on, to is she pretty enough etc. They feel that if they give you the best of everything you will be happy. Now if you let your eye wonder (normal male reflex) or you're not being expressive of your contentment (this is a must), they see that as a sign that she somehow failed in duties of making/keeping you happy, and so now your on the look-out for her "replacement". This is where the insecurity comes from and now the "being very emotional" part kicks in. Patay na.... :P The strange thing is even if you stay a good boy 100% & not get caught looking at other women, out of nowhere you'll still get the "tampo" treatment; that just means you failed in YOUR part by not showing gratitude for her devotion. That's why they, from time to time need some reassurance from you through the "paglalambing". By the way, that being joined at the hips thing is not because of distrust or being possessive; that's just one of their "paglalambing". At your side coddling, being affectionate (cariñosa), checking up on you to see if you need something (maalalahanin). That's the Filipina for you. That's my poor attempt at explaining the bewildering creature, the Filipina. Bow.... :P
HI Berny, I thing you hit it pretty closely there Berny. Ned did mention this in passing about giving back to the woman. Many men from the US and elsewhere I suppose are a bit stuck in the macho man mode. I am not talking the Hispanic "machismo" mode here, I'm talking the tough guy mode. Not mean nasty tough but tough in the sense that openly showing a warm, loving and affectionate nature to your woman is a bit foreign to many men. You know what I mean. Lots of clichés and idiomatic expressions here. Big men don't cry or show any emotion. Buck up! Be strong. Etc., etc. There is nothing wrong with being a strong masculine man but the willingness and the ability to openly show and tell your lovely partner that you love her and her alone, that you want her and her alone, that you appreciate her willingness to be at your side and on your side, these kinds of things are really very important. And ultimately very masculine. Because it shows your inner strength not your lack of it. True strength gives love without embarrassment, without keeping score. Love is a boundless commodity. It grows. The more you give, the more you get and it costs nothing. Trust is a different thing. Trust is earned. Being an openly loving man towards your partner will buy you a lot of trust. Far better to be the strong, demonstrative type than the strong silent type. And you know I am not talking about gushing and fawning over her all the time. The words and actions do not need to be constant or announced every hour on the hour. But they must be sincere. So sincere that she gets it even if it isn't presented in poetry or song or by shouting it from the roof top. Put the shoe on the other foot if you will. Filipinas are known to be passionate about their man, about looking after him and his needs, anticipating his likes and pleasures. If these women were not like that WOULD you be here looking for one based on looks alone? Should she be interested in a man who only gives her a grunt once in awhile? Take care, Fred
Exactly. That American saying holds true here about "catching more flies with honey than vinegar" or to paraphrase, less jealously/drama with honey than vinegar. :)
Here's the second piece on our two part series on jealousy in the Philippines. If you are planning on retirement in these fair islands or just an extended trip, you might wanna check it out.
My fiancée is a computer tech. Learned my lesson. I thought I had totally wiped my computer of anything that had to do with anyone else, but she found something I had written to a girl I knew before I had even met her and it was high drama, for sure. You have to tell yourself that you are on a covert mission in a dangerous land and cannot ever slip up or allow anything to happen that you don't want someone else to see. Also, this was all new to me. It wasn't something I was actually pursuing. I just fell into it. And it really was shocking the way that women attack you. If you really do love someone and want a permanent relationship with them, then you have to do your part to actively block the outside interference from other women who are jealous of your partner. A lot of the reason they have so much jealousy is because they've seen so many foreigners come and go who are obviously just there to have as much fun as possible with as many different people as possible. It's easy to get upset with your partner instead of evaluating what they feel and asking yourself if you are, in fact, the problem. I, as a general rule, don't like being spied on by anyone--though the fact is that we are all being spied on all the time and just aren't aware of it since most of it is done by people who have no personal relationship with us. The best advice is to go out of your way to make other women jealous of your "girl" instead of making her be jealous of them. And that is actually the problem many times--that other women are jealous of the fact that she's found someone nice and want to screw it up because they either want to just make her lose it or they think they'll come in afterwards and reap the benefits of the breakup. Personally, after my early experiences, I was ready to totally avoid anyone from over there, because I'm old and grouchy and don't have any more time for games in my life. I know that I had people contact me who were just fake covers. I even sent one girl a little money and then had Xoom.com tell me where it was picked up. I suspect who it really was, but it obviously wasn't who they claimed to be. I even tried to provoke a reaction and see if I could get my girl to let me see if it was her spying on me because I was ready to end it. I know she's got a little hacker background. In the end, though, it doesn't matter to me because I don't have anyone else that I am interested in. I have spent a long time alone with my guns and guitars and cameras, and I am not really interested in being a "player." I'm a male, however, and we all know that if an easy catch falls into your lap you have a tendency to say, "What the hell, might as well." As a woman once told me when I told her she didn't have to worry about me, that I was safe: "You're not safe, you're a man."
there's a thing in relationships called unenforceable rules... we have NO control over other people's behavior nor should we want to... allowing somebody to be themselves and relate to situations in their own natural way can be a good thing-provided it doesn't impose on your own rights/wants/needs etc. open, clear communication along with patience and understanding will go a long way in ANY relationship, probably more so in these cross-cultural conflict areas... you're doing a great job Ned, thanks for having the cajones to tackle a topic like this and using so much tact and diplomacy
Ron Aaserude Thanks, Ron. The jealousy thing is actually pretty interesting, just so long as it doesn't become borderline or full-on pathological behavior like what is happening to Peter. And yes, we have no control over what other people do, think, or say. Relationships - it's more fun in the Philippines!
I've learned and grown a lot watching your videos and Henry's as well on subjects such as this, and life in general... Technology has taken great strides in shrinking the world and opening avenues of discovery to us common citizens-ways of looking into the life philosophies of different cultures, religions etc. We all have something to contribute and also baggage and/or negative beliefs or actions that hold us back and prevent us from having total happiness and contentment... Learning to both accept differences and also being willing to change things within ourselves brings us ALL the opportunity for growth and movement into a happier, healthier paradigm.... Granted, jealousy is in and of itself a negative behavior/attitude/perspective; it is however a reaction to other negativity and only when the needs of jealous individuals are met holistically can they drop the burden of that whole scenario and move into a position of a more complete sense of security, love and acceptance... Up to those of us not burdened by jealousy to show those suffering it a better way-in love, trust and acceptance...
Great videos. I lived in the Philippines for 6 months and have lived for a year in Thailand. I have met a great Filipina and will be moving to the Philippines to be with her later this year. Your videos are valuable and confirm a lot of what I have experienced, the cultural aspects of these 2 countries are similar. When I lived in the Philippines I volunteered at an orphanage there and the people are wonderful but you do have to know what you are getting into. Thank you for all your efforts in promoting the reality of living there.
Hi everyone, Just a few simple rules I have learned from my Filipina to avoid the jealousy. - Don't smile at the cashier - look at the nose not the eyes of another women - If in public, stay close to your gal and do not wander off. - Never raise your eyebrows to another woman. These are simple ones to help keep the peace.
I've got one for ya, last year I changed insurance plans so I picked a new doctor. Older white male doctor, close to the house. Unbeknownst to me his physicians assistant was a smokin' hot, drop dead gorgeous, very friendly 40 y/o filipina. Well, I scheduled tandem appointments for my wife and I for an annual physical exam. When I saw the PA I knew there was gonna be drama. After the exam when she walked me out to the waiting room and my wife saw her I saw rage immediately sweep across her face. So, in the car on the way home she accuses me of picking her for a doctor intentionally and that I was planning on running off with her and that I'm in love with her and so on. Sheeesh! To this day I dare not tell her about the filipina doc checking my prostate!
Very good series Ned. It kind of helps me some with my sweet Filipina. She is jealous beyond jealous sometimes.... lol. And yes, she will not leave my side for a second when we are together. Talking about the other Filipinas that are around us, her favorite comment is .... 'you have way to many fans here'.
Good stuff. i was just thinking and dont take this in a bad way. But sometimes filipinas, other woman also, but i see it alot in filipinas. They have the qualities of a good faithful dog. They always want affection from you. If they are outside, they never leave your site. When they lay down next to you, they always have you in their view. They are very protective of you (hence when other filipinas flirt with you when they are around). Also when you pet another dog, they coming running and try to jump in to get petted also...lol. I could go on but you get my drift. Kinda funny if you think about it. Oh well, just a thought.
i loved this video I been in relationship where these exact things were happening. Tampo used a lot now I know what to do and how she thinks. I also was in the country with her and while we shopped in hypermart I di notice the increased amount of Filipina looks I got. I got to go to the store myself prior to that trip after, joined at the hip just like your video said. I love the videos you guys make especially the monthly budget ones which give me a general idea of things there. I am in the US now but plan to return to my Filipina this year in surigao. We are planning a future together in both countries so these video help me get my self together for the differences we have.
Two things. Its a different culture and that must be understood and accepted to a degree if men want to live there and have a filipina girl. Has the man something to hide? In the end talk together. Be open and honest. Its a relationship that like any relationship takes commitment and talking to each other. If you are a man simply after sex go to a bar and pay a girl for her time. My girl says give her a kiss and hold me if I get upset. I just need to know you love me. I think this is simply and beautifully put. Good video,
Thanx Ned for all the insight and helpful Information! Although I haven't met my GF in person yet I have experienced the jealousy in Skype! I have many Filipino and Filipina friends on Facebook! This was making her very insecure and jealous! I do feel with her she is the one foe me and I'm in this relationship for the long haul I just decided to delete most of these friends on Facebook out of respect to her feelings! I have learned so very much from you and Michell! Again thank you!
I didn't catch what you should do when she is jealous but she is a trustworthy girl that always has been good to you. Does it help to explain for her that the girl in the supermarket that was smiling to you just gave you a service smile, or something like that?
On a positive note: I read an article by Rusty Ferguson a expat in the Cebu area stated that he show his Filipina wife affection letting her know how special she is and how irreplaceable she is. Have a honest relationship and help built her self esteem are important things to do to lessen the jealousy demon.
In my honest opinion, It is more of a spiritual thing that need to addressed in the individual level. Jealousy left unchecked eventually becomes murder, murder of some area of the person's life. We need to start looking to improve our spirits to discern ourselves. Even over here in America, jealousy is a motive of murders over here. So the best thing to do is to have a like spirit and have clear knowledge about women. By yourself its an uphill climb but with Jesus that makes things a bit easier.
Excellent perspectives! When I first experienced the filipina jealousy from my wife, I took it as a compliment from her, as if Wow! She really wants to fight for my love & affection!? I was kind of flattered by it I guess. Also, the roosters enhance the true Philippine authenticity in the video. Don't edit them out, IMHO. I can almost smell it as the video brings me back to when we lived there. Thanks
Hey don't forget the "body guards". Like I have said before, I have been Married to the most wonderful Filipina for nearly 3 decades with 3 adult children. Go to the golf club, hang out at the clubhouse, go to grocery or Home Depot. It seems that I always have a family member around to "help" me. :-)
Thanks Ned,I have found a wonderful good young lady there and she has told me that she is the jeluse type,so now with you talking about this it gives me a little heads up on it and to make sure to always communicate,and now I undestand even more about this,, good topic thanks again :)
Imagine what it is like to be a female. Now imagine what it is like to be a female where there has been a history or hustlers and players from around the world and a wrong decision could seriously change her livelihood. It is cheap to go there and you know these players can put up a front until they are done. It will not effect the men if they can get on a boat and a plane and easily and comfortably forget about you. What women in any part of the world wants to be made an example of by making some poor choices because we are afraid? Filipina women have to be careful.
Ned I have been married for many years and your analysis of the different attitudes between the western and Asian perception re relationships is right on the money. But let's face it, even here in the US, by the way I live in your neck of the woods, Connecticut, privacy is very important. Also everyone needs their space, but it would appear that living in the Philippines, privacy is very difficult if non existent. On the other hand having a committed Filipina would be great if the western expat is smart and stable enough to accept that. It would appear that for a younger expat, or even an older one, the Philippines can be a difficult place to make a true commitment if there is so much "eye candy" around. Anyway both people have to work hard in a relationship. Bumps in the road do occur but if you do not communicate and work out differences events can blow up on you which can lead to serious consequences. By the way a big issue here in the US lately is domestic abuse. Example the Ray Rice incident, his knocking out his then fiancé, now his wife with a left hook in an Atlanta City elevator. He has been released by the Baltimore Ravens and suspended, negating a 4 million dollar per year contract. That would be a lot of Philippine pesos. Is there a domestic abuse issue in the Philippines? By the way Ned you and Michelle are doing a great job with your videos. Keep them coming.
Angelo Tosi I think there are domestic violence issues everywhere. And yes, the privacy/space issue is a problem that comes up in relationships here - Westerners (at least me) are used to a bit more "personal time" than Filipinos seem to be. As for eye candy, yeah, there is a lot of it, but when you find out how hard it is to find a good woman here (like it is everywhere, actually) you really appreciate what you have and wouldn't do anything to risk losing her. I hope that makes sense.
Jajajaja I was watching your video my self being 1/2 Latino I see this a lot as well it's just basic culture it will happen now and 1,000,000 years down the line I think you are 100% right Philippinesdream because a lot of that has happened to me not in the Philippines cause I have never been there but especially when I lived in Dominican Republic and Colombia ufffffff you have to have anti-jealousy tactics at work that can take years to perfect lol but still for anyone that doesn't know he is right and it's a part if the culture and I feel that the way he expresses it is in a genuine and sincere way but also pretty funny cause it brings me back to my "Chick Boy days" in Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic 😄 hopefully to come to Philippines soon as well
I am 44 and have been talking to a Philipino woman from Caloocan for about two months now. She seems like a great person. The original plan was for her to come here for a visit, but somehow got changed to where she wants me to come there first. She says it is because there are many beautiful girls there and she wants to test my loyalty. I think maybe there is more to it than that, but not sure. I would love to get some one on one time with you to get your advice / opinions on some things before I make a big change in my life. Your videos are very informative and I am learning a lot from them, but I still have questions that if answered would help put my mind at ease.
Michael Pullen Hey Mike. Just ask any general questions you might have in the comments section. We check them every day. You can also send a message through TH-cam if you don't want all your business out on the main page. Question: Does she have the financial resources to get a tourist visa to the US? It is very difficult for your "ordinary" Filipino citizen to get a US tourist visa.
Philippine Dreams No she doesn't have the resources to get the visa. The place she works only pays her 320p a day. How much would that cost? I am on a limited income which makes all of this much harder. One thing I am trying to figure out. Is wouldn't it be best to come here first since the visit can be for 3 months instead of me going there for just 3 weeks? Especially with the income situation. I just don't see where 3 weeks is really enough time to get to know someone.
everything you said is like " pasok sa banga" "tumapak" ask pretty michelle to translate it heheh... i really find this video helpful and also the part one i was laughing the whole time cause i realize that im also a jelous type of person before. and i really like that you said if she's a good girl and you think she worth it try to compromise..thats what my boyfriend did he explain things make me feel love and secure and i more thing the most important is TRUST. now our relationship is in a very very good shape. and were happy :) i think i said alot. sorry. ;) i am a filipina with an american boyfriend thats why i can relate.
grace guevarra Thanks for bringing that in, Grace. I prefer "tumapak" cuz it's shorter. But I don't know if I really got it all right in the video. Just doing the best I can, inday! :)
My wife is a wonderfully sweet Filipina and i love her with all my heart , but she fits most of this description lol. One thing my wife does is Tampo for something i did in her dream hahaha .
i SO need me to look into this. someone who gives back all I give to nurture what we build...thats what Ive been asking for! MAn! Thats what I have been looking at and missing!
We Asians, or maybe just me, are loyal, and jealous. Sometimes I even wonder why my boyfriend does not get super jealous and gives me so much freedom when im having a really good connection, having fun hanging out and having deep conversations with another guy, while i felt like i was not being nice to my boyfriend and wanted to stop seeing other guyfriends. I did get super jealous when guys i dated slept with other girls, well angry not jealous because basically that was the end of things, and idk how western girls can stand the nonexclusive relationships, its obnoxious and inhumane, its like i like u but i dont give a shit about ur feelings so i will just sleep with other people too i mean why would people do that. Jealousy stems from inner pain, and if one stops talking to u its because shes hurt, not because shes trying to manipulate u or anything. And Asian girls, or just me idk, keep themselves extremely loyal to u, and even feel super guilty if they like other guys nonsexually, so its fair for them to get upset when u are not acting the right way. Maybe one way to stop her jealousy is to tell her that its okay for her to flirt with other people too.
@Philippinedreams, I have a question and its not dealing with jealousy....if you don't mind. I've been with the woman I plan on marrying for almost two years, but she has to get an annulment from a guy (her ex) who has done nothing for her or their children in 8yrs. why does it take so long to get an annulment? In your opinion......
Victor Richardson Marriage in the Philippines is a good thing, but annulment is a Business thing (for the lawyers). In Philippine court, only 1 marital case is tackled every month. I was married once, and my annulment case took 7 years before it was granted. That's the downside if your a filipino and married to a filipina. But if ur an expat and you took your vows here in the philippines, still you can file a divorce case in your homeland (if it's legal in your own country) and the philippine court will have a chance to honor it. (just search the philippine law on marriage and family code)
Thank you for giving your perspective... very much appreciated.... mahalo bruddah... I I am visiting Manila in Sep 2015... the information u pass out is very informative and its been very helpful... I meeting my fiance and learning things not listed in any reference material, your advice is so valuable... thank you... I am coming from CA Fairfield NORCAL but I am from Guam... I know the subject, and if ur being watched closely a man needs to know how to react to accusations... anyway thanks... keep your clips coming.. I could use advice on a sound gyms in Manila... any recommendations???? I need a real gym.... The "Chamorro Superman"
Ned I am just a rookie but I had relationship with a Filipina she was jealous over every little glance she was saying how I was looking at Filipina so must want to marry her so that was ine of the things that lead to the break up
Hi Ned ur right about filipina intelligence skills, with the true Yankee fans being the best, Boston fans, well...not so much! Lol! Sige, salamat, amping!
If the Subject of Electronic Intercept Bothers you.... Why are you doing things you don't want watched? My Filipina knows what I want from her and yes being sexy is big part of it. :) As long as I get what I want she knows I will treat her like a queen... Literally. So we are well matched... I get what I want and so does she. She also wants children so keeping me happy also works toward her getting what she wants. Call it Love or what you want....If Both of you are getting what you want....Why play games?
Bound for Baguio No offense, but you look like you are 70 and she looks like she's 14. A little extreme but, grats man.... But you're right, as long as both of you are true to your word and keep each other happy there shouldn't be any issue with jealousy. But Filipinas can be irrational at the drop of a hat so... yeah. Keep your head on a swivel!
Iron Cross HeHe....Thanks. Looks can be Deceiving. I am 55 and she is 34 :) Filipinas do tend to age very slowly which is part of what makes the Pretty ones so special. A Good example is Imelda Marcos, she is still a nice looking woman today at her advanced age.
Aloha Ned ....thank you, to you and Michelle for making these videos. They are informative and enjoyable. You two seem like a nice couple. I have not seen you address the topic of children. Can you address the subject of children in an upcoming video. Do all Filipino girls want to have children? Will they dump you or not marry you if you do not want children? Is true love, financial security, and loyalty enough to build a relationship and marriage to a Filipina lady, or is not having children a 100% deal breaker? What about guys who have had a vasectomy? Thanks for your time. Cheers, Tom
You can find a Filipina that does not want children. They are what I like to call RARE! I would guess that they are a little more nontraditional. I think with a large percent it would be a deal breaker. Most likely she may marry you anyway and then get prego on accident. Maybe find a girl that has a kid/kids already. That is very possible.
tsmatula Filipinos LOOOOOVE kids, so finding a prospective LTR that doesn't want children will be a bit of a challenge. And they just might agree with you initially and hope that they can break you down later.
Good on you Ned you in to peoples brains logical thinker. I think you are very funny when you are sarcastic poor Michell you must driver her crazy at time. Yes I hear of the storm tonight to it over in northern Cebu lot rain I never win a argument with my wife so I just ignore her usually that my way of handling her .
Hello ned..say hello to michell for me too again..yeah absolute agree with you 100%.that thier no perfect relationship.i never get jealous..bec i always think "men is men strike every where"..but really everytime i walk with my fiancee everybody staring to me and to my fiancee specially filipina ladies..sometimes i wonder why?, or maybe bec of our size im short and his giant bull dog..hehe..and sometimes andrew laugh..bec i said ..his hunks even his getting a big belly now..hehe.i really make sure that i give my 101% trust to him specially its a long distance relationship..will his going back to sydney on saturday morning ..and come back again ..to see me on dec.to meet my mother in philippine.. For planning where is good for us to stay in philippine or in australia.. This is the most expensive love..he fly singapore to malaysia ..just to meet me..thanks god i found him.god bless..and good life there in philippine.
Good video. I agree it is important to keep and open mind and try and see things from the Filipina point of view. This is hard because you will never have that much emotion (or feelings) but give it a shot. I am not saying agree but just try and empathize. Keep in mind I am not advocating stalking. As Ned sais if you have found a keeper try and compromise and be flexible. HOT Filipina are a dime a dozen, keepers are not.
Hey Ned does other filipina woman get Jealousy too if u are in a Long Distance Relationships with our girlfriend from Philippines I have lots of filipina woman wants to be my friend on fb now.
Darold Stahl A prospective girlfriend will go through all your Facebook friends, contact them, and ask what kind of relationship you are having. Friends are not like friends in the West - in the US I had lots of platonic female friends - here, that really doesn't happen if you are in a relationship - they are seen too much as a threat.
Ned I remember seeing Italian widows catapulting themselves onto the cofins of their dead sons, boyfriends, and husbands who had been killed by rioting British soccer fans a few decades ago. To me it was very strange behavior, but it is all cultural, the same goes for women in P.I. By the way, what do you think was on the mind of the woman in your Hypermart video titled "Yet Another Shopping Misadventure - Hypermart" between 9:47 and 10:05. It looked to me as if she was checking out the both of you. Was she envious of Michell, was she subtly flirting with you [take note of her smile] or did she like your sense of humor "Meats", "Eggs", blah blah blah. She is checking out the interaction between the two of you several times. P.S. you should not be buying chicken at Hypermart, at $1.55 a pound is way more than I pay for chicken here in the USA. I don't pay more then .89 a pound.
Don C You noticed that as well in the Hypermart video, huh? Chicken is actually cheaper at the wet market - it's just more convenient to get it at Hypermart (plus less flies - somewhat).
Tom Kinsey. Before you start killing all the roosters, let me warn you that in PI Roosters are there for more than just reproducing chickens. Cockfighting is the No1 sport in the country. Filipino guys are passionate about their roosters. They train them, feed them special diets, look for certain breeds (American bred roosters are very popular) etc. A Filipino guy sees his rooster the same way an American guy sees his dog, or his Harley. So if you start killing the roosters, you are going to pizz a lot of people off.
Roger Gordon I thought it was basketball. Seen both. My "rooster" sprinted around the ring and actually survived his fight by running away from the other contender. I was ashamed that I bet on him.
Try to find yourself a girl that isn't insecure. Your life will be a lot better. My ex was a jealous brat and that's why she's my ex. I found an actual adult and I don't have to deal with that nonsense.
After watching you and Henry's video's on this subject, I'm glad in not coming to the PI for a/or woman/women. ( not gay, or coming for men either,lol) I am too old for all that drama s**t. I just want year round beach weather and freedom from corporate America. Looking forward to your trip to Siquijor Island. It is on my bucket list and wonder what it would be like to live there. Have fun.
harley jones We might be going next weekend again. Harley, most of it isn't all that bad - you just got to get over the initial shock and work through it over time.
With all the time I spent in Asia and never came home with a wife, a couple of memorable gf's though, I guess the drama just doesn't fit with my laid back style. Oh well, the sand and water is calling. It's all good.
The way I see it if the jealousy comes from her loving me I can cope. If it comes from not trusting me then that is a problem. I have learned that if your girl doesn't trust you it is usually because she is up to shit and assumes you are too.
Philippine Dreams Good topic raised by Paul. In your videos there have been nice cook outs, etc. Is it really a chore to get together with other husbands without their wives/girlfriends getting catty or serving the plate of false accusations later?
My Dad told my future husband before we were married, " jealousy is a viscous green monster that can ruin everything, If I had a woman another man wouldn't look at or talk to .. she must be pretty damn ugly and stupid, why should I want her?"
Barbara Miller Yeah, it's pretty ugly. A guy was leering at Michell yesterday, and I felt like saying something that probably wouldn't have ended well. It rears it's ugly head and all rational thought goes right out the window.
haha after my last ex wife, I LOVE tampo!!!! as to 'electronic interception', I thought I had deleted all my emails to an ex Thai gf/scammer. my asawa found 1 w/pics in my sent folder of my email...
First of all I'm glad I'm not male there.lol... And.second I'm glad I don't live there. And I do respect other cultures don't get me wrong. But I could personally would not make it. But I guess this.channel is mostly for men. But I'm glad for those women over there that they have expats. Good luck and fairwell.warm wishes to all.
Your mention of the ladies following where your eyes go suggest the need to wear dark sunglasses or is it assumed that you're checking out other women if you do wear shades? lol Is that one rooster? Wow, I think living in the flight path next to an airport would be easier to get used to then the barking and crowing.
I have heard of this behavior from Filipinas but no less so from women in the US. Maybe my Asawa is the exception rather than the rule but I doubt it. Though, like you, I am no relationship expert. My wife comes from what is to me, a largish family. Four sisters and two brothers. Every female in wife's family including her mother, is an exceptional human being. Kind, positive, VERY positive, hard working and family first oriented. The men in my wife's family are. to be pointed, pigs. Both brothers and her father. I have zero respect for the men in her family. All of them have multiple families of which they either take no responsibility or very little responsibility for. None of wife's sisters married Filipinos with one exception and he was raised in the US. I find all of their husbands to be men of honor. My Asawa has only ever set one rule in our house. NO contact with ex's. Easiest rule in the world to honor since if I wanted contact, they wouldn't be ex's. I've never experienced tampo but I have a couple times in our marriage made her cry. On those times I was crushed. On those couple of times I was indeed being a complete ass. On those rare times, I was able to bring her back to her normal happy laughing self in very little time as she is quick to forgive. I never think of jealousy when I think of the women in my wife's family. I only see, as I mentioned earlier, joyous, hard working, loyal women. But.... being married to a Filipina hardly makes me an expert on Filipinas.
I'm an American-born Filipina who does not demonstrate jealousy and/or jealousy behavior. Not all of us have it "ingrained" in us. And please stop calling us "girls"...you are involved with a woman. Not an "angry bird", just bringing it to your attention. I can guarantee that I will displease a number of ex-pats on this subject because I'm one of those "mouthy" Western (but single, sexy, supple, financially secure, confident and somewhat accommodating) Filipinas. But my Caucasian Midwest Italian-American man-friend would have it no other way.
Marie Santos Fortuno Thanks for your comment. And you are correct with the "girls" reference. I usually alternate between "girl" and "woman," but I realize that isn't correct. Point taken. :)
my second wife ( born and raised in an Mexican american family life style ) she told me while growing up she told her self she would never get married to a Mexican hispanic / latino man thus and I am assuming it was because of what she was observing with the adults around her when she was a child growing up ( she knew or felt in her heart that he would never stay true to her ) ... yet, on the other side of the coin she is the type married woman who loves to flirt with men and loves to have men flirting with her even though she is a married woman p.s. an she is definitely the type of married woman that would be more than willing to have sex with any man that sweet talked her in all the right ways...LOL ( thus she has a double standard thinking on her part ) thus is why she is my x wife now...LOL my point here in is in most of these type of countries the women are just as bad as the men! other wise how would ya be able to explain all of these married men having all of these girls on side? as the old saying goes! it takes two to tango.
Clnmyhts hits the nail on the head. One of my first loves was a latino, and she was exactly like this.... There were many upsides, however she was very unstable emotionally, was always angry with any 1 person all the time - (usually rotated between me, mother, father on a 1.5 day rotation) She was insanely jealous and spiteful. Even though I was head over heels for her - I could not be normal, smile and laugh with a woman 3x my age without absurd accusations and repercussions. Naturally, she would flirt with anyone that would look her way, and sex was just sex.. Like she was some sort of dog. I think this is very, very common with Latin-Americans. What stood out for me was the huge lack of morality in their community and culture. This nastry trend seemed pretty standard thru the average size northern ohio community I grew up in, I am not referring to the Southwestern portion of the country (Which I assume is worse). One of my big concerns about traveling to Asia is.. getting there and realizing the people and culture are just as mean and nasty as my old extended Mexican family. Anyone have comments on how these 2 cultures compare?
jelousy, is personality trait exhibited by all humans,worst cases probably in Brazil. for some strange reason I see mostly Americans in the Philippines being so concern with that I find d it ridiculous and pathetic seeing expats supporting their girlfriends or wifes together with all their extended and fictitious family wolontarily turning into slaves and jelousy victims. I came from Eastern Europe. and I brought here the attitude that man is the man. if I see from the beginning the girl being unstable, i let her go the same day. within 17 years I have meet plenty of wanderful and adventurous Filipinas making my every dream come true. exept very feew cases jelousy wasnt the issue at all, because I got rid of helpless cases, and stood my ground with all other Filipinas.if one makes my life difficult, there are thousands of other ones to take their place. simple, yet too many guys forget that
I noticed in the last two videos you give excuses for poor audio, like wind and roosters... well, unless you move the mic closer to you this problem will not be solved. I see that the windows behind you weren't shut so yeah the noise of the roosters will affect your recording. Best solution, move the camera much closer than you normally would, in fact, fill the frame with you or your wife and it will be even more interesting and it will greatly improve the audio.
+Carl Huffman There is also another solution, well two really, A hand held microphone joined buy a cable or a radio mike so as to leave a free positioning of the cam or phone . Most have an input socket for this type of usage.
Cory R Haha - half the time it goes over the head - lost in translation - which is just as well, cuz sarcasm cuts deep. The literal translation of "sarcasm" is "to rend flesh."
AHMED Cass The will probably love it. Filipino men are also very jealous (generally) and bayot (gay men) bring it to an even higher level. Or so Michell tells me.
Whuuhoo..! Got me my first ever mention in a video. Thanks Ned. \m/
Kidding aside, female jealousy IS a big problem for guys (both foreign and locals mind you). In my experience on the matter, "jealousy" usually comes from the Filipinas being insecure and very emotional and for not the usual reason a non-native would think.
Bare with me as I try to explain.
The Filipina instinctively feels she has a duty (sic) to provide her man with happiness & contentment; from the small stuff like making a cup of coffee exactly the way you like it, cooking, a clean house & so on, to is she pretty enough etc. They feel that if they give you the best of everything you will be happy. Now if you let your eye wonder (normal male reflex) or you're not being expressive of your contentment (this is a must), they see that as a sign that she somehow failed in duties of making/keeping you happy, and so now your on the look-out for her "replacement". This is where the insecurity comes from and now the "being very emotional" part kicks in. Patay na.... :P
The strange thing is even if you stay a good boy 100% & not get caught looking at other women, out of nowhere you'll still get the "tampo" treatment; that just means you failed in YOUR part by not showing gratitude for her devotion. That's why they, from time to time need some reassurance from you through the "paglalambing".
By the way, that being joined at the hips thing is not because of distrust or being possessive; that's just one of their "paglalambing". At your side coddling, being affectionate (cariñosa), checking up on you to see if you need something (maalalahanin). That's the Filipina for you.
That's my poor attempt at explaining the bewildering creature, the Filipina.
Bow.... :P
HI Berny,
I thing you hit it pretty closely there Berny. Ned did mention this in passing about giving back to the woman.
Many men from the US and elsewhere I suppose are a bit stuck in the macho man mode. I am not talking the Hispanic "machismo" mode here, I'm talking the tough guy mode. Not mean nasty tough but tough in the sense that openly showing a warm, loving and affectionate nature to your woman is a bit foreign to many men. You know what I mean. Lots of clichés and idiomatic expressions here. Big men don't cry or show any emotion. Buck up! Be strong. Etc., etc. There is nothing wrong with being a strong masculine man but the willingness and the ability to openly show and tell your lovely partner that you love her and her alone, that you want her and her alone, that you appreciate her willingness to be at your side and on your side, these kinds of things are really very important. And ultimately very masculine. Because it shows your inner strength not your lack of it.
True strength gives love without embarrassment, without keeping score. Love is a boundless commodity. It grows. The more you give, the more you get and it costs nothing.
Trust is a different thing. Trust is earned. Being an openly loving man towards your partner will buy you a lot of trust. Far better to be the strong, demonstrative type than the strong silent type. And you know I am not talking about gushing and fawning over her all the time. The words and actions do not need to be constant or announced every hour on the hour. But they must be sincere. So sincere that she gets it even if it isn't presented in poetry or song or by shouting it from the roof top.
Put the shoe on the other foot if you will. Filipinas are known to be passionate about their man, about looking after him and his needs, anticipating his likes and pleasures. If these women were not like that WOULD you be here looking for one based on looks alone? Should she be interested in a man who only gives her a grunt once in awhile?
Take care,
Fred
Exactly. That American saying holds true here about "catching more flies with honey than vinegar" or to paraphrase, less jealously/drama with honey than vinegar. :)
Here's the second piece on our two part series on jealousy in the Philippines. If you are planning on retirement in these fair islands or just an extended trip, you might wanna check it out.
My fiancée is a computer tech. Learned my lesson. I thought I had totally wiped my computer of anything that had to do with anyone else, but she found something I had written to a girl I knew before I had even met her and it was high drama, for sure. You have to tell yourself that you are on a covert mission in a dangerous land and cannot ever slip up or allow anything to happen that you don't want someone else to see. Also, this was all new to me. It wasn't something I was actually pursuing. I just fell into it. And it really was shocking the way that women attack you. If you really do love someone and want a permanent relationship with them, then you have to do your part to actively block the outside interference from other women who are jealous of your partner.
A lot of the reason they have so much jealousy is because they've seen so many foreigners come and go who are obviously just there to have as much fun as possible with as many different people as possible. It's easy to get upset with your partner instead of evaluating what they feel and asking yourself if you are, in fact, the problem. I, as a general rule, don't like being spied on by anyone--though the fact is that we are all being spied on all the time and just aren't aware of it since most of it is done by people who have no personal relationship with us.
The best advice is to go out of your way to make other women jealous of your "girl" instead of making her be jealous of them. And that is actually the problem many times--that other women are jealous of the fact that she's found someone nice and want to screw it up because they either want to just make her lose it or they think they'll come in afterwards and reap the benefits of the breakup. Personally, after my early experiences, I was ready to totally avoid anyone from over there, because I'm old and grouchy and don't have any more time for games in my life. I know that I had people contact me who were just fake covers. I even sent one girl a little money and then had Xoom.com tell me where it was picked up. I suspect who it really was, but it obviously wasn't who they claimed to be.
I even tried to provoke a reaction and see if I could get my girl to let me see if it was her spying on me because I was ready to end it. I know she's got a little hacker background. In the end, though, it doesn't matter to me because I don't have anyone else that I am interested in. I have spent a long time alone with my guns and guitars and cameras, and I am not really interested in being a "player." I'm a male, however, and we all know that if an easy catch falls into your lap you have a tendency to say, "What the hell, might as well." As a woman once told me when I told her she didn't have to worry about me, that I was safe: "You're not safe, you're a man."
Frank Richmond Very well said. As usual. Thanks, Frank!
nandorblue hhhaaaal ol so bottom line we can be" kanos " but not "stupid kanos" lol lol
my gf did the same...went into my email all the way to 2010, i met my gf in 2013
there's a thing in relationships called unenforceable rules... we have NO control over other people's behavior nor should we want to... allowing somebody to be themselves and relate to situations in their own natural way can be a good thing-provided it doesn't impose on your own rights/wants/needs etc.
open, clear communication along with patience and understanding will go a long way in ANY relationship, probably more so in these cross-cultural conflict areas...
you're doing a great job Ned, thanks for having the cajones to tackle a topic like this and using so much tact and diplomacy
Ron Aaserude Thanks, Ron. The jealousy thing is actually pretty interesting, just so long as it doesn't become borderline or full-on pathological behavior like what is happening to Peter. And yes, we have no control over what other people do, think, or say. Relationships - it's more fun in the Philippines!
I've learned and grown a lot watching your videos and Henry's as well on subjects such as this, and life in general...
Technology has taken great strides in shrinking the world and opening avenues of discovery to us common citizens-ways of looking into the life philosophies of different cultures, religions etc.
We all have something to contribute and also baggage and/or negative beliefs or actions that hold us back and prevent us from having total happiness and contentment... Learning to both accept differences and also being willing to change things within ourselves brings us ALL the opportunity for growth and movement into a happier, healthier paradigm....
Granted, jealousy is in and of itself a negative behavior/attitude/perspective; it is however a reaction to other negativity and only when the needs of jealous individuals are met holistically can they drop the burden of that whole scenario and move into a position of a more complete sense of security, love and acceptance...
Up to those of us not burdened by jealousy to show those suffering it a better way-in love, trust and acceptance...
Great videos. I lived in the Philippines for 6 months and have lived for a year in Thailand. I have met a great Filipina and will be moving to the Philippines to be with her later this year. Your videos are valuable and confirm a lot of what I have experienced, the cultural aspects of these 2 countries are similar. When I lived in the Philippines I volunteered at an orphanage there and the people are wonderful but you do have to know what you are getting into. Thank you for all your efforts in promoting the reality of living there.
Hi everyone, Just a few simple rules I have learned from my Filipina to avoid the jealousy.
- Don't smile at the cashier
- look at the nose not the eyes of another women
- If in public, stay close to your gal and do not wander off.
- Never raise your eyebrows to another woman.
These are simple ones to help keep the peace.
I've got one for ya, last year I changed insurance plans so I picked a new doctor. Older white male doctor, close to the house. Unbeknownst to me his physicians assistant was a smokin' hot, drop dead gorgeous, very friendly 40 y/o filipina. Well, I scheduled tandem appointments for my wife and I for an annual physical exam. When I saw the PA I knew there was gonna be drama. After the exam when she walked me out to the waiting room and my wife saw her I saw rage immediately sweep across her face.
So, in the car on the way home she accuses me of picking her for a doctor intentionally and that I was planning on running off with her and that I'm in love with her and so on. Sheeesh! To this day I dare not tell her about the filipina doc checking my prostate!
Very good series Ned. It kind of helps me some with my sweet Filipina. She is jealous beyond jealous sometimes.... lol. And yes, she will not leave my side for a second when we are together. Talking about the other Filipinas that are around us, her favorite comment is .... 'you have way to many fans here'.
The Philippine Experience Nice! Thanks, PE!
'you have way to many fans here'
I haven't heard that one before. Thanks for the chuckle.
TPE, I've heard "You have many fans" a few times....I was wondering what that meant! It's definitely more of a warning than a compliment :D
Good stuff. i was just thinking and dont take this in a bad way. But sometimes filipinas, other woman also, but i see it alot in filipinas. They have the qualities of a good faithful dog. They always want affection from you. If they are outside, they never leave your site. When they lay down next to you, they always have you in their view. They are very protective of you (hence when other filipinas flirt with you when they are around). Also when you pet another dog, they coming running and try to jump in to get petted also...lol. I could go on but you get my drift. Kinda funny if you think about it. Oh well, just a thought.
i loved this video I been in relationship where these exact things were happening. Tampo used a lot now I know what to do and how she thinks. I also was in the country with her and while we shopped in hypermart I di notice the increased amount of Filipina looks I got. I got to go to the store myself prior to that trip after, joined at the hip just like your video said. I love the videos you guys make especially the monthly budget ones which give me a general idea of things there. I am in the US now but plan to return to my Filipina this year in surigao. We are planning a future together in both countries so these video help me get my self together for the differences we have.
David Maples Splitting your time between the two countries sounds like a good plan.
"they aren't selfish people, they wana share it" - Laughed my ass off
Wanderinghealerx I thought that was pretty good. Just like my (fellow) American neighbor isn't selfish with his music.
Yeah that made me laugh out loud too. Ned love your humor.
Two things. Its a different culture and that must be understood and accepted to a degree if men want to live there and have a filipina girl. Has the man something to hide?
In the end talk together. Be open and honest. Its a relationship that like any relationship takes commitment and talking to each other. If you are a man simply after sex go to a bar and pay a girl for her time.
My girl says give her a kiss and hold me if I get upset. I just need to know you love me. I think this is simply and beautifully put.
Good video,
I am so amazed on your way of thinking. And I agree with you 100 %
Thanx Ned for all the insight and helpful Information! Although I haven't met my GF in person yet I have experienced the jealousy in Skype! I have many Filipino and Filipina friends on Facebook! This was making her very insecure and jealous! I do feel with her she is the one foe me and I'm in this relationship for the long haul I just decided to delete most of these friends on Facebook out of respect to her feelings! I have learned so very much from you and Michell! Again thank you!
I didn't catch what you should do when she is jealous but she is a trustworthy girl that always has been good to you. Does it help to explain for her that the girl in the supermarket that was smiling to you just gave you a service smile, or something like that?
keep the videos coming! :) hope to see more outdoor activities you guys do :) looking forward for ur siquijor trip. ;)
Sometimes jealousy of other women becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.Control that jealousy, ladies.
Good info Ned. Keep up the good work.
Thanks for sharing, been there done all that. Married for over 9 years now. Where did the time go?
Hi Ned love your videos, what model gopro are using?
On a positive note: I read an article by Rusty Ferguson a expat in the Cebu area stated that he show his Filipina wife affection letting her know how special she is and how irreplaceable she is. Have a honest relationship and help built her self esteem are important things to do to lessen the jealousy demon.
My hubby looks at beautiful women, well i look at handsome men, so were even... lol
Very well said.. Thanks !
I'm sure you are right :)thanks for your reply :)
400 years ago Shakespeare wrote about jealousy, "the green-eyed monster". Man, was he right!
Terry Tarbeck Oh yeah.....
Wow thmpo that's exhausting; Thank you for the heads up on the intercept
In my honest opinion, It is more of a spiritual thing that need to addressed in the individual level. Jealousy left unchecked eventually becomes murder, murder of some area of the person's life. We need to start looking to improve our spirits to discern ourselves. Even over here in America, jealousy is a motive of murders over here. So the best thing to do is to have a like spirit and have clear knowledge about women. By yourself its an uphill climb but with Jesus that makes things a bit easier.
lol i can related to a lot of ur comment here been with my wife for 5 year (filipina) you have some great video
hello from london
iride london Thanks, Si Iride.
Excellent perspectives! When I first experienced the filipina jealousy from my wife, I took it as a compliment from her, as if Wow! She really wants to fight for my love & affection!? I was kind of flattered by it I guess.
Also, the roosters enhance the true Philippine authenticity in the video. Don't edit them out, IMHO. I can almost smell it as the video brings me back to when we lived there. Thanks
Bigtombowski I can send ya a couple roosters via LBC if ya want. Hey, now there's a business idea.......
Philippine Dreams You're sending LBC from the philippe. I'll be waiting for that box for a while. . -:)
Hey don't forget the "body guards". Like I have said before, I have been Married to the most wonderful Filipina for nearly 3 decades with 3 adult children. Go to the golf club, hang out at the clubhouse, go to grocery or Home Depot. It seems that I always have a family member around to "help" me. :-)
Everything you says happen to be true. I have experienced it all :)
Thanks Ned,I have found a wonderful good young lady there and she has told me that she is the jeluse type,so now with you talking about this it gives me a little heads up on it and to make sure to always communicate,and now I undestand even more about this,, good topic thanks again :)
matt hajas You ain's seen nothing yet! Good luck, brother!!! :)
Imagine what it is like to be a female. Now imagine what it is like to be a female where there has been a history or hustlers and players from around the world and a wrong decision could seriously change her livelihood. It is cheap to go there and you know these players can put up a front until they are done. It will not effect the men if they can get on a boat and a plane and easily and comfortably forget about you. What women in any part of the world wants to be made an example of by making some poor choices because we are afraid? Filipina women have to be careful.
Trying to catch up on your vids lol. Can't wait to see the vids on Siquijor . Later
Ned I have been married for many years and your analysis of the different attitudes between the western and Asian perception re relationships is right on the money. But let's face it, even here in the US, by the way I live in your neck of the woods, Connecticut, privacy is very important. Also everyone needs their space, but it would appear that living in the Philippines, privacy is very difficult if non existent. On the other hand having a committed Filipina would be great if the western expat is smart and stable enough to accept that. It would appear that for a younger expat, or even an older one, the Philippines can be a difficult place to make a true commitment if there is so much "eye candy" around. Anyway both people have to work hard in a relationship. Bumps in the road do occur but if you do not communicate and work out differences events can blow up on you which can lead to serious consequences. By the way a big issue here in the US lately is domestic abuse. Example the Ray Rice incident, his knocking out his then fiancé, now his wife with a left hook in an Atlanta City elevator. He has been released by the Baltimore Ravens and suspended, negating a 4 million dollar per year contract. That would be a lot of Philippine pesos. Is there a domestic abuse issue in the Philippines? By the way Ned you and Michelle are doing a great job with your videos. Keep them coming.
Angelo Tosi I think there are domestic violence issues everywhere. And yes, the privacy/space issue is a problem that comes up in relationships here - Westerners (at least me) are used to a bit more "personal time" than Filipinos seem to be. As for eye candy, yeah, there is a lot of it, but when you find out how hard it is to find a good woman here (like it is everywhere, actually) you really appreciate what you have and wouldn't do anything to risk losing her. I hope that makes sense.
Jajajaja I was watching your video my self being 1/2 Latino I see this a lot as well it's just basic culture it will happen now and 1,000,000 years down the line I think you are 100% right Philippinesdream because a lot of that has happened to me not in the Philippines cause I have never been there but especially when I lived in Dominican Republic and Colombia ufffffff you have to have anti-jealousy tactics at work that can take years to perfect lol but still for anyone that doesn't know he is right and it's a part if the culture and I feel that the way he expresses it is in a genuine and sincere way but also pretty funny cause it brings me back to my "Chick Boy days" in Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic 😄 hopefully to come to Philippines soon as well
I am 44 and have been talking to a Philipino woman from Caloocan for about two months now. She seems like a great person. The original plan was for her to come here for a visit, but somehow got changed to where she wants me to come there first. She says it is because there are many beautiful girls there and she wants to test my loyalty. I think maybe there is more to it than that, but not sure.
I would love to get some one on one time with you to get your advice / opinions on some things before I make a big change in my life. Your videos are very informative and I am learning a lot from them, but I still have questions that if answered would help put my mind at ease.
Michael Pullen Hey Mike. Just ask any general questions you might have in the comments section. We check them every day. You can also send a message through TH-cam if you don't want all your business out on the main page. Question: Does she have the financial resources to get a tourist visa to the US? It is very difficult for your "ordinary" Filipino citizen to get a US tourist visa.
Philippine Dreams No she doesn't have the resources to get the visa. The place she works only pays her 320p a day. How much would that cost? I am on a limited income which makes all of this much harder.
One thing I am trying to figure out. Is wouldn't it be best to come here first since the visit can be for 3 months instead of me going there for just 3 weeks? Especially with the income situation. I just don't see where 3 weeks is really enough time to get to know someone.
yes I get that feeling too..when ever im with my gf everybody stares but when I am by myself I get that indifferent look please tell me why is that
Keep the Rooster!! It helps me with my philippine withdraws
So true
everything you said is like " pasok sa banga" "tumapak" ask pretty michelle to translate it heheh... i really find this video helpful and also the part one i was laughing the whole time cause i realize that im also a jelous type of person before. and i really like that you said if she's a good girl and you think she worth it try to compromise..thats what my boyfriend did he explain things make me feel love and secure and i more thing the most important is TRUST. now our relationship is in a very very good shape. and were happy :) i think i said alot. sorry. ;) i am a filipina with an american boyfriend thats why i can relate.
That sounds nice....jealousy can be funny! Glad you are happy!
thanks :)
grace guevarra translate.sandayong.com/
grace guevarra Thanks for bringing that in, Grace. I prefer "tumapak" cuz it's shorter. But I don't know if I really got it all right in the video. Just doing the best I can, inday! :)
oops i just realize i type it wrong i mean tumpak ... inday? no one ever called me inday before.. hahaha
My wife is a wonderfully sweet Filipina and i love her with all my heart , but she fits most of this description lol. One thing my wife does is Tampo for something i did in her dream hahaha .
Your comments work ANYWHERE in the world.
StarManFlorida Yeah, it's part of the human condition. It's just a bit more prevalent and extreme in certain places of the globe.
I really like your comments. I cope with that and its hard hehehe
i SO need me to look into this. someone who gives back all I give to nurture what we build...thats what Ive been asking for! MAn! Thats what I have been looking at and missing!
ssunfish I think we are all looking for that. :)
We Asians, or maybe just me, are loyal, and jealous. Sometimes I even wonder why my boyfriend does not get super jealous and gives me so much freedom when im having a really good connection, having fun hanging out and having deep conversations with another guy, while i felt like i was not being nice to my boyfriend and wanted to stop seeing other guyfriends. I did get super jealous when guys i dated slept with other girls, well angry not jealous because basically that was the end of things, and idk how western girls can stand the nonexclusive relationships, its obnoxious and inhumane, its like i like u but i dont give a shit about ur feelings so i will just sleep with other people too i mean why would people do that. Jealousy stems from inner pain, and if one stops talking to u its because shes hurt, not because shes trying to manipulate u or anything. And Asian girls, or just me idk, keep themselves extremely loyal to u, and even feel super guilty if they like other guys nonsexually, so its fair for them to get upset when u are not acting the right way. Maybe one way to stop her jealousy is to tell her that its okay for her to flirt with other people too.
A man should always put his serious girl friend or wife first.
No other woman should be equal in his eyes, same advise is the same for woman.
@Philippinedreams, I have a question and its not dealing with jealousy....if you don't mind. I've been with the woman I plan on marrying for almost two years, but she has to get an annulment from a guy (her ex) who has done nothing for her or their children in 8yrs. why does it take so long to get an annulment? In your opinion......
Victor Richardson Marriage in the Philippines is a good thing, but annulment is a Business thing (for the lawyers). In Philippine court, only 1 marital case is tackled every month. I was married once, and my annulment case took 7 years before it was granted. That's the downside if your a filipino and married to a filipina. But if ur an expat and you took your vows here in the philippines, still you can file a divorce case in your homeland (if it's legal in your own country) and the philippine court will have a chance to honor it. (just search the philippine law on marriage and family code)
Thank you for giving your perspective... very much appreciated.... mahalo bruddah... I I am visiting Manila in Sep 2015... the information u pass out is very informative and its been very helpful... I meeting my fiance and learning things not listed in any reference material, your advice is so valuable... thank you... I am coming from CA Fairfield NORCAL but I am from Guam... I know the subject, and if ur being watched closely a man needs to know how to react to accusations... anyway thanks... keep your clips coming.. I could use advice on a sound gyms in Manila... any recommendations???? I need a real gym....
The "Chamorro Superman"
Ned I am just a rookie but I had relationship with a Filipina she was jealous over every little glance she was saying how I was looking at Filipina so must want to marry her so that was ine of the things that lead to the break up
Hi Ned ur right about filipina intelligence skills, with the true Yankee fans being the best, Boston fans, well...not so much! Lol! Sige, salamat, amping!
If the Subject of Electronic Intercept Bothers you.... Why are you doing things you don't want watched? My Filipina knows what I want from her and yes being sexy is big part of it. :) As long as I get what I want she knows I will treat her like a queen... Literally. So we are well matched... I get what I want and so does she. She also wants children so keeping me happy also works toward her getting what she wants. Call it Love or what you want....If Both of you are getting what you want....Why play games?
Bound for Baguio No offense, but you look like you are 70 and she looks like she's 14. A little extreme but, grats man.... But you're right, as long as both of you are true to your word and keep each other happy there shouldn't be any issue with jealousy. But Filipinas can be irrational at the drop of a hat so... yeah. Keep your head on a swivel!
Iron Cross HeHe....Thanks. Looks can be Deceiving. I am 55 and she is 34 :) Filipinas do tend to age very slowly which is part of what makes the Pretty ones so special. A Good example is Imelda Marcos, she is still a nice looking woman today at her advanced age.
Would a little public display of affection toward her in front of the other girls help with insecurity, or is that a no-no.
Great vid Ned . Haha if you don't have anything to hide who cares lol. Aloha
- Just want to let You know - Your Voice Sound is OK on this clip - but still a out of order in the previous one ?!
Aloha Ned ....thank you, to you and Michelle for making these videos. They are informative and enjoyable. You two seem like a nice couple. I have not seen you address the topic of children. Can you address the subject of children in an upcoming video. Do all Filipino girls want to have children? Will they dump you or not marry you if you do not want children? Is true love, financial security, and loyalty enough to build a relationship and marriage to a Filipina lady, or is not having children a 100% deal breaker? What about guys who have had a vasectomy? Thanks for your time. Cheers, Tom
You can find a Filipina that does not want children. They are what I like to call RARE! I would guess that they are a little more nontraditional. I think with a large percent it would be a deal breaker. Most likely she may marry you anyway and then get prego on accident. Maybe find a girl that has a kid/kids already. That is very possible.
tsmatula Filipinos LOOOOOVE kids, so finding a prospective LTR that doesn't want children will be a bit of a challenge. And they just might agree with you initially and hope that they can break you down later.
Good on you Ned you in to peoples brains logical thinker. I think you are very funny when you are sarcastic poor Michell you must driver her crazy at time. Yes I hear of the storm tonight to it over in northern Cebu lot rain I never win a argument with my wife so I just ignore her usually that my way of handling her .
Hello ned..say hello to michell for me too again..yeah absolute agree with you 100%.that thier no perfect relationship.i never get jealous..bec i always think "men is men strike every where"..but really everytime i walk with my fiancee everybody staring to me and to my fiancee specially filipina ladies..sometimes i wonder why?, or maybe bec of our size im short and his giant bull dog..hehe..and sometimes andrew laugh..bec i said ..his hunks even his getting a big belly now..hehe.i really make sure that i give my 101% trust to him specially its a long distance relationship..will his going back to sydney on saturday morning
..and come back again ..to see me on dec.to meet my mother in philippine.. For planning where is good for us to stay in philippine or in australia.. This is the most expensive love..he fly singapore to malaysia ..just to meet me..thanks god i found him.god bless..and good life there in philippine.
some great advice, 18 years to late.
sounds familiar. my wife does not leave my side to this day. I don't mind though we get along very well.
+Fat Boy Sometimes when I am out by myself, she just mysteriously appears over my shoulder - I think she has a tracking device on me!
LOL seems that way they are good trackers. We are going to be in Cebu in april next year looking for property. Hope we can meet.
Where in MA are you from?
Good video. I agree it is important to keep and open mind and try and see things from the Filipina point of view. This is hard because you will never have that much emotion (or feelings) but give it a shot. I am not saying agree but just try and empathize. Keep in mind I am not advocating stalking. As Ned sais if you have found a keeper try and compromise and be flexible. HOT Filipina are a dime a dozen, keepers are not.
Cory R "HOT Filipinas are a dime a dozen, keeper are not" pretty much sums it up.
Hey Ned does other filipina woman get Jealousy too if u are in a Long Distance Relationships with our girlfriend from Philippines I have lots of filipina woman wants to be my friend on fb now.
Darold Stahl A prospective girlfriend will go through all your Facebook friends, contact them, and ask what kind of relationship you are having. Friends are not like friends in the West - in the US I had lots of platonic female friends - here, that really doesn't happen if you are in a relationship - they are seen too much as a threat.
Ned I remember seeing Italian widows catapulting themselves onto the cofins of their dead sons, boyfriends, and husbands who had been killed by rioting British soccer fans a few decades ago. To me it was very strange behavior, but it is all cultural, the same goes for women in P.I. By the way, what do you think was on the mind of the woman in your Hypermart video titled "Yet Another Shopping Misadventure - Hypermart" between 9:47 and 10:05. It looked to me as if she was checking out the both of you. Was she envious of Michell, was she subtly flirting with you [take note of her smile] or did she like your sense of humor "Meats", "Eggs", blah blah blah. She is checking out the interaction between the two of you several times.
P.S. you should not be buying chicken at Hypermart, at $1.55 a pound is way more than I pay for chicken here in the USA. I don't pay more then .89 a pound.
Don C You noticed that as well in the Hypermart video, huh? Chicken is actually cheaper at the wet market - it's just more convenient to get it at Hypermart (plus less flies - somewhat).
Tom Kinsey. Before you start killing all the roosters, let me warn you that in PI Roosters are there for more than just reproducing chickens. Cockfighting is the No1 sport in the country. Filipino guys are passionate about their roosters. They train them, feed them special diets, look for certain breeds (American bred roosters are very popular) etc. A Filipino guy sees his rooster the same way an American guy sees his dog, or his Harley. So if you start killing the roosters, you are going to pizz a lot of people off.
Roger Gordon Yeah, they treat their roosters very well.
Cockfighting is big in Thailand and Burma (Myanmar) too.
Roger Gordon I thought it was basketball. Seen both. My "rooster" sprinted around the ring and actually survived his fight by running away from the other contender. I was ashamed that I bet on him.
Try to find yourself a girl that isn't insecure. Your life will be a lot better. My ex was a jealous brat and that's why she's my ex. I found an actual adult and I don't have to deal with that nonsense.
After watching you and Henry's video's on this subject, I'm glad in not coming to the PI for a/or woman/women. ( not gay, or coming for men either,lol) I am too old for all that drama s**t. I just want year round beach weather and freedom from corporate America.
Looking forward to your trip to Siquijor Island. It is on my bucket list and wonder what it would be like to live there.
Have fun.
harley jones We might be going next weekend again. Harley, most of it isn't all that bad - you just got to get over the initial shock and work through it over time.
With all the time I spent in Asia and never came home with a wife, a couple of memorable gf's though, I guess the drama just doesn't fit with my laid back style. Oh well, the sand and water is calling. It's all good.
harley jones It's like this ' I don't care what they say_ I'm going to do it anyways. .
Jason Wilson Well, good luck with that. You must really enjoy the drama. ROTFL
Ha ha Ned u said go out for awhile to let her cool off right. She will follow you if you tried that
The way I see it if the jealousy comes from her loving me I can cope. If it comes from not trusting me then that is a problem. I have learned that if your girl doesn't trust you it is usually because she is up to shit and assumes you are too.
Transference!
does it not work inviting people around, it may take the edge off it as they r focused on something else
Paul Hart Depends on what people you are inviting around.
Philippine Dreams Good topic raised by Paul. In your videos there have been nice cook outs, etc. Is it really a chore to get together with other husbands without their wives/girlfriends getting catty or serving the plate of false accusations later?
My Dad told my future husband before we were married, " jealousy is a viscous green monster that can ruin everything, If I had a woman another man wouldn't look at or talk to .. she must be pretty damn ugly and stupid, why should I want her?"
Barbara Miller Yeah, it's pretty ugly. A guy was leering at Michell yesterday, and I felt like saying something that probably wouldn't have ended well. It rears it's ugly head and all rational thought goes right out the window.
I thought jealousy was a universal thing... Do western women get jealous too? When do they get jealous?
No, they don't
haha after my last ex wife, I LOVE tampo!!!! as to 'electronic interception', I thought I had deleted all my emails to an ex Thai gf/scammer. my asawa found 1 w/pics in my sent folder of my email...
NSA should be recruiting them.
lol you are killing me. eye spy. But true and understandable.
Do Philippine woman slap there partners when they get angry ?
First of all I'm glad I'm not male there.lol... And.second I'm glad I don't live there. And I do respect other cultures don't get me wrong. But I could personally would not make it. But I guess this.channel is mostly for men. But I'm glad for those women over there that they have expats. Good luck and fairwell.warm wishes to all.
Your mention of the ladies following where your eyes go suggest the need to wear dark sunglasses or is it assumed that you're checking out other women if you do wear shades? lol Is that one rooster? Wow, I think living in the flight path next to an airport would be easier to get used to then the barking and crowing.
Silent treatment just google is it abuse if your partner users silince. Then leave your phone out.
Mexico culturall similiar
Time to fire up the fryer and cook some chicken wings, You have to be going crazy with them 24/7
It's ManiIa, not Duma. And I'd wanna add your topic,
"to me'' it's between a woman's care and Iove.
.... They sound CRAZY!
=co
Nick Terrance It can get a bit....... hectic at the beginning.....
I have heard of this behavior from Filipinas but no less so from women in the US.
Maybe my Asawa is the exception rather than the rule but I doubt it. Though, like you, I am no relationship expert.
My wife comes from what is to me, a largish family. Four sisters and two brothers. Every female in wife's family including her mother, is an exceptional human being. Kind, positive, VERY positive, hard working and family first oriented.
The men in my wife's family are. to be pointed, pigs. Both brothers and her father. I have zero respect for the men in her family. All of them have multiple families of which they either take no responsibility or very little responsibility for.
None of wife's sisters married Filipinos with one exception and he was raised in the US. I find all of their husbands to be men of honor.
My Asawa has only ever set one rule in our house. NO contact with ex's. Easiest rule in the world to honor since if I wanted contact, they wouldn't be ex's.
I've never experienced tampo but I have a couple times in our marriage made her cry. On those times I was crushed. On those couple of times I was indeed being a complete ass. On those rare times, I was able to bring her back to her normal happy laughing self in very little time as she is quick to forgive.
I never think of jealousy when I think of the women in my wife's family. I only see, as I mentioned earlier, joyous, hard working, loyal women.
But.... being married to a Filipina hardly makes me an expert on Filipinas.
My apologies. I forgot to thank you for another enjoyable and thought provoking set of vids. Thank you.
I'm an American-born Filipina who does not demonstrate jealousy and/or jealousy behavior. Not all of us have it "ingrained" in us. And please stop calling us "girls"...you are involved with a woman. Not an "angry bird", just bringing it to your attention.
I can guarantee that I will displease a number of ex-pats on this subject because I'm one of those "mouthy" Western (but single, sexy, supple, financially secure, confident and somewhat accommodating) Filipinas. But my Caucasian Midwest Italian-American man-friend would have it no other way.
Marie Santos Fortuno Thanks for your comment. And you are correct with the "girls" reference. I usually alternate between "girl" and "woman," but I realize that isn't correct. Point taken. :)
my second wife ( born and raised in an Mexican american family life style ) she told me while growing up she told her self she would never get married to a Mexican hispanic / latino man thus and I am assuming it was because of what she was observing with the adults around her when she was a child growing up ( she knew or felt in her heart that he would never stay true to her ) ... yet, on the other side of the coin she is the type married woman who loves to flirt with men and loves to have men flirting with her even though she is a married woman
p.s. an she is definitely the type of married woman that would be more than willing to have sex with any man that sweet talked her in all the right ways...LOL ( thus she has a double standard thinking on her part ) thus is why she is my x wife now...LOL
my point here in is in most of these type of countries the women are just as bad as the men! other wise how would ya be able to explain all of these married men having all of these girls on side? as the old saying goes! it takes two to tango.
Clnmyhts hits the nail on the head. One of my first loves was a latino, and she was exactly like this....
There were many upsides, however she was very unstable emotionally, was always angry with any 1 person all the time - (usually rotated between me, mother, father on a 1.5 day rotation)
She was insanely jealous and spiteful. Even though I was head over heels for her - I could not be normal, smile and laugh with a woman 3x my age without absurd accusations and repercussions. Naturally, she would flirt with anyone that would look her way, and sex was just sex.. Like she was some sort of dog.
I think this is very, very common with Latin-Americans. What stood out for me was the huge lack of morality in their community and culture. This nastry trend seemed pretty standard thru the average size northern ohio community I grew up in, I am not referring to the Southwestern portion of the country (Which I assume is worse).
One of my big concerns about traveling to Asia is.. getting there and realizing the people and culture are just as mean and nasty as my old extended Mexican family. Anyone have comments on how these 2 cultures compare?
I was also married to a Mexican virgin, it's all fake dramatic controlled power control. Next bus is on it's way
Wanderinghealerx Having lived in both places exception is whenever being invited in the Phillipines you pay for everything. .
jelousy, is personality trait exhibited by all humans,worst cases probably in Brazil. for some strange reason I see mostly Americans in the Philippines being so concern with that I find d it ridiculous and pathetic seeing expats supporting their girlfriends or wifes together with all their extended and fictitious family wolontarily turning into slaves and jelousy victims. I came from Eastern Europe. and I brought here the attitude that man is the man. if I see from the beginning the girl being unstable, i let her go the same day. within 17 years I have meet plenty of wanderful and adventurous Filipinas making my every dream come true. exept very feew cases jelousy wasnt the issue at all, because I got rid of helpless cases, and stood my ground with all other Filipinas.if one makes my life difficult, there are thousands of other ones to take their place. simple, yet too many guys forget that
I noticed in the last two videos you give excuses for poor audio, like wind and roosters... well, unless you move the mic closer to you this problem will not be solved. I see that the windows behind you weren't shut so yeah the noise of the roosters will affect your recording. Best solution, move the camera much closer than you normally would, in fact, fill the frame with you or your wife and it will be even more interesting and it will greatly improve the audio.
+Carl Huffman There is also another solution, well two really, A hand held microphone joined buy a cable or a radio mike so as to leave a free positioning of the cam or phone . Most have an input socket for this type of usage.
yes that's true
Kirida=Tagalog
THANKS FOR THE GOOD VIDEO .......BUT I HAVE Q ....WHAT IF THE FOREIGNER MAN GET TOO MUCH JEALOUS WHAT WILL BE THE REACTION FOR FILIPINA LADY ... .
If it is me I will flip out yell and most likely retaliate with a one night stand. Sarcasm works well to.
Cory R Haha - half the time it goes over the head - lost in translation - which is just as well, cuz sarcasm cuts deep. The literal translation of "sarcasm" is "to rend flesh."
AHMED Cass The will probably love it. Filipino men are also very jealous (generally) and bayot (gay men) bring it to an even higher level. Or so Michell tells me.
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