That was a professional answer to the topic. Don't see what there is for people to be mad at. I am obese and i know that bigger people have to pay extra for funerals its just common sense.
Obese people pay more for their clothes,airline tickets to fly and yes to be buried.So why get mad because after life somebody have to pay more to put you away! Think about it.
You do a great job choosing your words while speaking of sensitive issues! I’m sure the families that you serve are very pleased with your candor and professionalism. Thank you for your informative videos.
When my father passed at home, I swear they sent the smallest funeral home person I'd ever seen. Very short and very thin guy. lol, It wasn't funny at the time and still isn't really... But, I helped move my father from the bedroom, down a narrow hall, and to the gurney. The funeral home guy was most grateful although he was apprehensive at first about letting a family member help. I was a young adult at the time and worked in nursing so assured him I could handle it. My dad was a large man. I looked at it as one of the last things I could do for my dad who had suffered for many years with a debilitating illness. This was back in 1993 and I was under the impression at the time the funeral home didn't have another person available to be called in. Anyway, that's my little story. :)
That happened to us when my dad passed away too. My dad was a very tall and pretty big guy. I thank God everyday for the hospice nurse that stayed at the house until the folks came from Nashville (about 2 hours) but they had sent the smallest guy. But when my grandfather passed a cpl months ago he was 96 and smaller than average with age I suppose, they sent two large guys. Guess it depends on the funeral home and the timing.
Rod Freeman six of us had to handle my father in the same situation. The narrow hall and two 90* turns made it tough. The most muscular person passed out so we had to step over him, another obstacle. Please people, take care of yourself weight wise. It was an experience that you do not want to go through. In case you don’t have help the fire dept may be called to help. My EMT son had to get a 600# person out and they had to cut a window out of the house. Her family was angry at the fire dept.
I recently came across some of your videos and I must say, I am fascinated with your videos. I recently lost my mom in 2015 but it still feels like yesterday. I watched the way she passed and it wasn't an easy sight and I've carried a lot of guilt? Not sure what word to use. My mom was cremated and everything was done so quickly and me and my sister didn't know a thing about what to expect. I wanted to tell you thank you for what you do and making these videos. They're very informative and you do such a wonderful job explaining everything. Very respectful and after watching a few of your videos, I feel more at peace knowing what was going on behind the scene when my mom passed away. I pray the funeral director who who prepped her and everything was as kind, gentle, and respectful as you were. Your videos make me feel a little more comforting. Thank you for another great video and hope to see more in the future! 😊
The more of your videos I’ve viewed the more I’m impressed with your sensitivity and compassion. I haven’t had much experience with funeral directors I hope most are like you
I understand the extra charge for the chemicals, but if you have people on staff, I don't understand that extra charge that's bullshit, you are no different from any other director it's all about the money you couldn't find the word what's wrong with more challenging you don't fool me it's money not compassion
Bull she has conn you in , she like all of them is only about money, wise up there is no way in hell funerals should be that expensive compassion my ass
I have done the funeral of a large deceased many years ago before these double size caskets were readily available. It too extra patience, a lots of creativity and even more flexibility from every person involved… The deceased was a friend and the family were amazingly understanding… It all went off smoothly. Out of respect for the family I wouldn’t mention any of the details. God bless them .
I think that people need to wake up and face reality, too many live in this fantasy world that is all about them. I have noticed as I became more homebound the past couple of years that I also became way more self involved, it is an easy thing to do when you are alone with yourself but the hard reality of this topic is that people are injured dealing with the morbidly obese in medical situations so it makes even more sense that this problem would carry in the final parts in life. (Time to make the self involved note here that I am neither heavy nor was I injured by a heavy person. I do have a friend who works in radiology at the hospital and has been hurt several times over the years by big people wanting to lean on her or expect to be lifted by her even though she is obviously 1/4 of their weight!). To me it is common sense that if you have to build a bigger box, it will cost more. If you have to run your furnace longer, it will cost more. I can't even imagine the logistics and risk of injury involved in moving a 500lb, 600lb or even heavier person and don't see why it has to be fully tippy-toed around. I do apologize because to some I seem unbelievably hard and maybe I am. I just don't understand why we have lost our common sense in America.
You are wonderfully kind, compassionate, and gentle with your descriptions. As a obese woman with obese loved ones, I am grateful your honest yet kind response to a very tender subject. Love from Louisville, KY!
Just found your channel, very happy with your content so far. I always remember that part from Gilbert Grape, my grandmother was quite large & if she had to go out to the hospital it usually required the fire department to assist. I can’t imagine how upsetting this may have been. Years later i go & work at my first SNF and lose my first patient a very large women; it was tough to say the least.
Thank you so much for being so respectful and caring on this! I feared I would end up disliking your channel after this yet I came to respect you and want to listen to you even more! I have struggled with obesity my entire life and I will always be battling. The worst is how the entire world ...and I mean from loved ones to the world have been truly cruel to me... Doctors family members random people have treated beyond cruel. Maybe this will end when I die.
I'm so sorry you are treated bad! My daughter is very heavy. I hate that people snicker & talk about her negatively. She's such a beautiful fantastic sweet smart girl (27). So much more than her weight!! We are trying to get the gastric covered by insurance. Hang in there my Dear
Definitely a subject worth talking about, and sometimes a sensitive subject. Most families will understand the difficulty of everything involved. I don't mean to sound cold or inconsiderate, but "dead weight" can be extremely heavy. Sometimes the fire department must be dispatched for a lift assist, for a removal. And in preparation, due to the obesity, there is only so much you can do, and hopefully the family will respect that.
I was a paramedic many years ago. We were called to a sad accident where a train had struck a pickup truck and killed both occupants instantly. Interestingly, there were very few cuts, lacerations, etc. Both occupants were obese, one was morbidly so. 4 of us could not lift this one guy up high enough to our gurney, which we had left at its lowest level. I'm not trying to be rude, but when we would put our hands under the body and lift, mountains of 'bulk' would ooze off to both sides of our hands. It was like trying to pick up 400 pounds of jello...with no mold around it. Nobody was laughing. It was a serious issue that eventually took 8 more (12 total!) people to help. We had picked up an obese person before, but in those cases the person could help at least a little bit. Of course there is zero help from a deceased person. These are serious issues that nobody stops to consider.
Thom Thumbe being an obese lady myself I was very Leary to click this (I thought it would make me mad) but you are VERY a caring and gentle soul and you have an understanding surpassing your age (that's rare to find)👼👼
I’ve watched several of your videos now and always find you compassionate and informative. I would like to go to school to be a funeral director, but it’s not really feasible for me. There is only one school in my state and I’d have to move. I see this profession more as a ministry. Of course you show respect and great care for the person who has died, but the family is who you are really and truly taking care of. When my father died in 2004 the funeral director who worked with us was wonderful. Our family deals with thing using humor. We laugh. He picked up on this immediately and was wonderful. Going to school for this is still something I want to explore, but at age 44 I’m not so sure it’s something I’ll ever be able to do.
As a night nurse in an assisted living facility I found this very informative. It never dawned on me to inform the funeral director of the size of the deceased. I always assist with the removal of the body and if need be have an aide assist. I would love to see a quick video about tips for nursing home and assisted living staff in assisting with making the removal of a body easier for all?
Donna Hanna, a very close friend who was morbidly obese died in a nursing home and I was called as her health proxy to come to the home. When I arrived about an hour later, I found her body dressed in her nightie , still sitting in her convalescent chair with a sheet draped over her middle, exposing some of her adipose tissue. The chair was positioned facing the door, and the door was open, so that anyone passing her door would see her. There was discussion as to what to do with her remains as her family could not be reached in a town 4 hours away. This was at 10:30 at night. After much deliberation and calls to a local funeral home and the county medical examiner, it was decided to move her to the county morgue until relatives could be contacted. One small attendant and a normal gurney arrived at midnight. It became apparent that they would need a bigger gurney and another attendant. Another hour elapsed before the extra attendant and gurney arrived. It was 2 AM before they attempted to remove her. I was not in the room, but found out later they needed Vaseline to coat her hips, and an invalid lift to pry her out of her chair. Whether rigor had started, I don’t know, but an RN I know said that she should have been put in her bed and straightened immediately. It was a nightmare for her friends to see the way our friend had been stripped of her dignity. Obviously, there was no plan in place for patients who passed away there.
I am sorry for the death of the resident. However, I find that removing a dead resident who is very heavy, can be a very tedious job. Today, there is a variety of apparatus and cots made for the removal of corpses, even through tight places, stairs narrow hallways, etc. Sometimes, it takes more an one person to move an obese corpse through an obstacle.
Thank you so much for your time and straight forward explanations.We need to know about death and the preparation of funerals.Less scary ,more enlightened.Death is a part of living after all. Thanks again you are so kind to take time to involve us in real things,important before the time we need to know... A blessing ...
I've been a Pallbearer at 2 funerals for morbidly obese family members. The first weighed 600#s carrying her oversize casket to the grave was a challenge for all 8 of us. Plus the grave was on a hillside. It had been raining all day. The cemetery had no equipment to lower her into the ground, so we had to use straps to do it. The second 1, he weighed 650#s. The funeral home actually left his casket on the wheeled cart for us to move him to the hearse. Lifting him up on the rollers was back breaking. He was being cremated, so no graveside service.
Colonel Mark Julifs Really? You bury people even in the rain? When I attended a funeral all we could do was say our goodbyes at the tent covered set up at the burial site. Way too wet for a burial... I've never had the experience where a cemetery would bury during or after the rain. Interesting.
Jolene8, a tent wasn't even provided. No coffin lowering mechanism either. All other grave side burial I've been part of also had the artificial turf around the grave. None at this funeral. Could be because it was a rural area. I know my cousins had to dig the grave for their grandmother at a grave yard in the 90s. I had never heard of that happening. Took them all night using shovels, and the hit a very old wooden coffin at the bottom of the grave. Cemetary had no record of anyone even being buried in that spot.
Carrie , Is there anyone nicer than you? I doubt it. I sure hope I have someone as thoughtful and compassionate as yourself when my family and I pass. Thanks! For caring about your "customers" and their families. You are truly one of a kind. God bless you and your family. 😊❤🙏
I think you're doing these videos is awesome and informative and done with dignity and respect. You're not creeping people out.Your putting a compassionate face and beautiful spirit to your side of the business during the worst time of some people lives having to have to make furneral arrangements for their love ones.. Every furneral home at the facilities .That I have worked for. When they called the Furneral home.The furneral staff would always asked how much do the person weigh how tall are they.And do they have staff willing to help with removal if needed by the furneral home. When they come to pick the body up.And yes most times the furneral home would only send one person. We have never had to call the fire department for one of our obese residents after death to help transfer them to the furneral home gurney.
I've watched several of your videos. Thank you for your kindness & caring you clearly have for those you care for in such a sensitive, delicate line of work. Thank you 💜
Honestly. This business is one of the hardest in the nation and all of my support/understanding to them. Who wants to truly deal with this type of circumstance? We should be grateful for those who wish to care for us after death. Personally, if I had to choose someone to prep me for death, this woman would be my first choice. Thank you for your education!! Xx
Beth Thorson I said the same thing, so professional and kind hearted and gives honest answers to questions. Makes you feel more comfortable talking about death
Inconvenience is definitely not what anyone would want to hear. Challenges come in all sizes. Some challenges take a bit more creativity to deal with, but we all hope to be handled with compassion and respect and assume we will be no matter our physical stature. I can only imagine how difficult your job is and am very thankful you chose this field to get into! If I had a very large relative that passed, I'd want to hear the truth about those challenges as if it a regular part of the conversation any agent of the funeral home would have with any family member. I wouldn't want them to project that it feels like an uncomfortable matter that had to be discussed. If aunt Margo has to have a larger casket, I'd want to hear that aunt Margo needs a larger casket. Not unfortunately your aunt needs .... Its just a fact kinda thing. Hope I conveyed that right. I don't have an aunt Margo, but if I did ya know...😉 Thank you for all the time you've put into making these video's. They're fascinating and extremely informative! Your compassion is appreciated and endearing as well as the way you tell it as it is. Thank you so very much! I enjoy watching and learning from you. 👍✌
Your explanation on obesity of deceased persons was well said. It is hard for family's to acknowledge the reality of what being obese means in death; it's no different in needing over sized hospital beds. I really appreciate your wording as you spoke on these subject.
I've watched all of your videos regarding the funeral process and find it wonderfully done. It is sensitive, professionally presented, profoundly informative, empathetic, and practical at so many levels.It is excellent and I thank you for your professional, candid, and sensitive explanations. God bless.
You handled this with sensitivity; thank you for that. I had to listen to the folks from the funeral home drag my Dad down the hallway of my apartment building. It was very difficult. Dad was over 300 lbs. :( I offered to help, but they asked me to step outside.I would have been pleased to help them, but of course these guys didn't know me, and weren't sure if i could handle it emotionally speaking. Would have been one last thing I could have done for him....These gentlemen did everything they could to take care of Dad, and for that I will always be grateful :)
Bigger person = bigger pants = more fabric = higher cost. Same goes for caskets. It's logical. On that note, I'm going to eat another helping of fried chicken. LOL interesting stuff though... Subscribed.
You answered many questions I had about obesity. True compassion and using the right words are all you can attempt. I worked in nursing for 30 years, and a little empathy can go a long ways. I can recall having patients in excess of 800 pounds. You still address them as Mrs. So and so. They know they are obese. You must love people to do what you do. 💕👍🏻⚰️⚱️
My Cousin passed at home many years ago and when they, the fire department removed him it was not a pleasant thing, he weighed 700+ pounds, and had to be drug through the house to the front door. After that at the funeral home we had to purchase a 1 1/2 wide casket and vault which was rather costly. Than the burial. forward 2 years his Dad passed away and was about the same size, I wasn't involved in the funeral arraignments this time as my uncle and other family took care of it. At the cemetery they had to remove his decided wife and bury him down a few feet deeper and put her back up top. At the grave side it was weird seeing her vault on the ground next to him for the lowering. I have to say that the funeral home that handled both funerals were very professional. Yes they did look quite different, but decent too.
When I saw that this video was about obesity, I got worried. I have very close family members that are extremely obese and was so worried you would be insensitive in some way. I was worried I would not love your videos as much. Well I was totally wrong. I can tell that you are so respectful and the way you talked about this sensitive topic was amazing. Thank you.
You & everyone else needs to get over that. If you're fat, you're fat & you know it. My mother was 244lbs. I was on my way but I refused to live that life. So I know whereof I speak. If the elephant in the room is as big as an elephant, everyone knows it. Why should anyone pussy foot around FACT? If you take up more resources, there's a price to pay. Simple as that. So tired of delicate flowers who make problems for themselves & everyone around them, then expect the world to Molly coddle them.
what you should be worried about is your family members are not proactive enough about their health...........obese people need to realize they are large and they need to own their issue, not everyone else
Naelyn Eurkopfen I knew this video was bound to get some dislikes but this woman is great and compassionate. I gave her a thumbs up. Anyone who dislikes it is eating to much pie:))
We deal with oversized cases often. Being in the south fried chicken,fried pork chops, fried fried fried well you get the picture. It's difficult to explain to a family why this or that would not work when for 30 years they just knew all the preneed arrangements covered everything!
Kari Northey why do funeral homes charge so much for their services? Seems really unethical. I had to cremate my mother because caskets cost thousands. That is unacceptable. And no I'm not being hostile. I just want to know why death is so expensive.
My ex-husbands late Father during his final trip to the hospital it took 5 good-sized firefighter/paramedics to get him off the floor, out of the area he fell into. His cremation took a great deal longer and the service his Mother used filled the urn with very warm remains and presented her with an almost hot Urn.
@@KaritheMortician from the office we were waiting in to take possession of the Urn I could hear them scraping his ashes together. It was pretty disturbing.
Thank you so much do making this video. I have some very obese relatives, and was wondering about this topic. I feel a lot more prepared for this eventuality.
When my ex wife passed away, I helped our daughter set up for the pickup of her body and the funeral. My ex wife always held her weight very well, so that she never looked her actual size. To our surprise, she weighed 395 pounds, so special arrangements had to be made. Also, an additional $100 was added to the cremation cost which was understandable. She now sits on a special place of honor in my daughter’s hutch in a beautiful mahogany container. She was only 60 years old and passed away in 2009. Even tho we drifted apart, we were close friends to the end and I was still in love with her. Had she lived and we stayed together, we would have been married 55 years on February 26th, 2021. As our wedding song states “If I Live to be a Hundred”, I’ll still be in love with you. I’m working on that, I’m almost 78. I’ll be in a wheelchair by then but I can still place her on my lap and have our final dance together and I’ll still be in love with her.
@@KaritheMortician Your welcome, we were just two hard working coal region people from Pennsylvania in love. She wanted to wear a white gown in a church wedding, so for a full year between our engagement and the wedding we worked our tails off. We paid for everything ourselves and on that special day, as 100 of our relatives and friends sat in the church, this 22yo man waited to hold my 17yo bride in my arms. That was February 26th 1966!
Being in this line of business as well, it is sometimes very difficult when handling these types of cases. Sometimes it is hard to sugarcoat the explanation so it comes off as harsh, but the few cases I’ve had with the obese deceased, my families thought they were absolutely beautiful because I took my time making them look beautiful. It’s the little things that will make the families grateful.
Both sides of my family have dealt with this issue on an obese person & death. On my dad's side, my Dad's step-cousin weighed 653lbs at the time of her death in 1993. She was not able to be embalmed, due to her stomach being that large, that she could not be laid flat on her back. So a closed casket had to be done for the wake & funeral. Cremation was not an option back then for her, due to no crematory having one that can cremate someone that large. Even today, there are still no crematories for humans only that can handle that size. I hear that if someone over 500lbs is cremated, that the body is taken to a place that cremates horses. I saw a video on that type, and it's huge. She had to be buried in 2 plots, & a crane had to be used to lower her casket into the vault. On my mom's side, I had to deal with this issue with my mom. She refused to take care of her health, because she was not happy with her life, & instead of improving her own, she wanted to bring down everyone else along with it. She was close to 400lbs at the time of her death. We were left with no choice, but to have her cremated, due to the fact that she didn't have a large enough life insurance policy. Cremation, urn, opening & closing her plot costed us $4075. The funeral home we went with was also owned by the cemetery that my family is buried in, & they were fortunate that a closed funeral home that they purchased, had a state of the art crematory in it, so they could use that, instead of the 50 or 60 year old crematory that is at the cemetery. The funeral home with an on site crematory can cremate up to 500lbs, while the cemetery's crematory can only cremate up to 200lbs, & due to not cremating the body efficiently, the cremains come back in 2 temporary urns. Had we been able to go with the direct burial route, it was around $6500 for an oversized casket & vault, but would fit in a normal burial plot, plus opening & closing the plot. My mom's cremation took 5 hours. With cremation getting dangerous as the population becomes obese (it's due to the excess fat that's being burned off the body), the industry is trying to get away from traditional cremation, & I forgot what it's called. I just know that the body is placed in a special pressurized chamber, filled with water and special chemicals, & the water is heated to around 300ºF, & boils & pressurizes the tissue away. They can safely breakdown bodies with this method (especially obese bodies) than with cremation. It does take a bit longer, but it's a bit more environmentally friendly. Problem is that it's not legal everywhere.
I am a retired paramedic and totally understand. I am now 68 and my wieght is around 250. Cremation is definitly my choice. Do I need to make extra plans? Wish you were in my area. Your awesome.
Kari you did great. For years I've been warning hubby to loose weight. He was over 400 pounds. I told him if he wanted to be buried .He had to loose weight. He went in for cataracts surgery. And found out he was diabetic. He's changed his diet no sugar .He's now under 300 and continues to go down. I just told him I couldn't afford 1500 thousand plus to bury him. Due to special coffin and handling.
Kari Northey good for him it’s good he has a great coach. I’m actually afraid of death almost to a point of a phobia maybe it’s all the stuff I’ve seen. I know it’s going to happen I’m just curious of after
Lisa Lentile I’m more afraid of is there more or is that it darkness I wish I could do it over again. Just because you say you weren’t a good Christian I believe in Jesus and I believe you well be accepted into heaven 😁
Thank you for this video...I know I never thought about what families go through with these additional decisions to make...bless their hearts and yours to for caring enough to inform everyone to this sensitive subject❤
Most people are ignorant about how funerals are planned and the preparations that go into the task. It is a big job. That is why I would recommend people to watch the shows by Kari the Mortician. She is a terrific morticianess. Funeral directors and directresses cannot do miracles for the families' sakes, let alone raise the dead.
500+ lb. removals are getting to be more frequent. The Coroner calls where a person falls between a bed and nightstand, for instance, are especially difficult. We dont have enough room, and have nothing but ankles and wrists to hold onto. We sometimes "rearrange" the room if we need to. I had a body just last month where my cot straps were let out all the way and I got them buckled, but did not have enough strap to grab to tighten securely. Now there is another issue with going slow enough through right hand turns, so there isnt a risk of shifting on the cot. Obesity definitely does affect our business. Great channel Kari, glad I found you!
I used to work in a hospital and the patients nurse would call the undertaker at the time of death. Maybe there should be the practice of the nurse to tell the undertaker at that time that the patient is obese so that more than one person will be sent to take the deceased to the funeral home.
I remember back in the late 70s I was an EMT one working for a combination of an ambulance and funeral home company. As I listen to you give your information I was reminded of the days gone by where I went through the exact same problems. Fortunately, I had a partner on all of the calls and we were able to handle them accordingly. One case in particular was a bit of a challenge, but we managed to, get through it. We had a senior citizen that coded in the emergency room right after we brought her in for having chest pain. She did not survive. The corner was notified and came out to pick up the case. After we got back to the office, our boss was made aware that we would be handling the funeral arrangements in the woman requested cremation the woman weighed over 400 pounds and as you can understand cremation trays for that particular size are not made. So my boss went out to the garage and we made a makeshift cremation tray out of plywood and cardboard. It was a nailbiter. But we had to improvise and that’s what we did. We were successful in getting her in the back of the hearse and getting her to the crematory and helping the assistant there unloading the woman. All I can say is this is one of those cases that you never learn about or hear about unless you’ve experienced it. It is not taught in school or something you can read in the books. It’s all about respect and the best way to keep the person safe without harming them. Could I work in a funeral home again today. Probably. Things have changed, but the protocols and the procedures as well as the laws I still remember. Thanks for the great video. I learned a lot.
Lawd I remember this young woman in my hometown died at her home. She was so large the Fire Department had to assist the Paramedics and volunteers to help with getting her from inside the home on the homemade transport to get her inside the ambulance. It was awful, embarrassing for the family, and amazing to the on lookers that didn’t know she had became so huge. The Casket was carried with about 12 men to carry something the size of small compact Vehicle. Amazingly something to see, but she had a beautiful personality and face. RIP Monique
Thank you Kari... You are very sweet, & kind! The sensitivity, & professionalism, is very much appreciated! Because even some "pros" can be very cold, & insensitive w/this topic! Thank you for your great videos!
I think that it would be nice if the hospital, medical examiner office, or nursing home staff or representative would notify the funeral home about the appearance of the deceased, so that the funeral director or funeral technician (driver going to do a removal) can make adjustments to remove the deceased from the site.
You're right every time I watch an episode of my 600lb life I think of the Gilbert Grape movie & them just removing what they wanted from that old house & setting it on fire
I just found your videos as I'm planning to start a business. I find all your videos helpful and I would like to thank you very much for sharing these videos. Awesome job you are doing. 🙏❤️
In America we’re WAY to sensitive toward the morbidly obese. When you remove all stigma for certain behaviors, you get more of those behaviors. The rest of society has to deal with these extremely fat people. Everybody’s health care costs go up, the fat guy sitting next to you on an airliner shoves you against the wall of the plane, and funeral home workers risk injury to their own bodies. This is almost a uniquely American thing, and it’s disgusting how being 400 lbs and rolling around in a motorized cart at Walmart carries no shame in 2021.
I have degenerative disc disease meaning my disc’s are crumbling. I have to use those drivable buggy’s. Your comment is very hurtful!!!! You just see a big person riding instead of walking. Don’t judge people! You don’t know what we live with everyday! You are very insincere! You need to try living in my place just one day! I take 4mg. Dilaudid every 8 hours plus muscle relaxers every 8 hours. My pain is worse than child birth & I don’t even get a baby as a reward! Next time think before you run your mouth!
@@burnetteterry73 I’m sorry about your back condition and hope you find relief some day. That said, my comment was a reference to people who weigh 400 lbs AND use that cart. If you don’t weigh that much, my message doesn’t apply to you. You deserve the cart. So, please, enough of your righteous hissy fit.
Thanks for explaining that sensitive subject so well! I observed something one time when I was at a viewing. It was at a person who was "obese" and I am being kind. When 2 of the funeral directors had to do something about some leaking that was taking place from the nose area. I just assumed it was inserting cotton. Not for sure. The gentleman's stomach area was actually higher than his head and I was thinking gravity had something to do with it but not for sure. Maybe you can answer that question. Thanks
Great presentation - One can only assume that the same family members who are offended by hearing the truth about an overweight loved one, are the same family members who 'enabled' that person's condition by not addressing the problem in the first place. (I understand that not every overweight person listens to caring family members, but my point is not about family who doesn't care.. my point is about family who gets offended by facts they don't want to address.)
It's a very good movie. Leonardo DiCaprio plays a retarded teen. It was so realistic when I watched it and was not familiar with Leonardo DiCaprio that I thought he was genuinely retarded. Seriously, ...he was that believable. I was embarrassed to learn that then totally astounded.
it is not an inconvenience but added man power needed..............remind them that the person is really size of two people and it needs to be addressed, sadly
You have brightened my day.. Now my understanding of what they did for my dad killed in a plane crash. We went to site of the crash. In nsg school they took us to a funeral home. They left his smile lines at his eyes. The spot where his head hit an instrument panel was well blended in with color. I wish they had more liquid cremation sites.
It's cheaper to just cremated them. They should have thought about that before eating themselves into Oblivion. If the family want you to make them not look so fat, tell them you're a mortician, not a miracle worker!
When my father died & we were picking out his casket, our mom showed me & my sister the casket she wanted to be buried in. It was a beautiful pick casket with silk & ruffles. When our mother passed she was to large to fit in that casket, so we had to pick out a oversized casket that we thought she would like. When my sister told her 9 yo old son that she had passed, he asked if we were able to get grandma her pink ' basket '. That put a small smile on our faces. When our brother passed me & my sister choose to have him cremated. When I went to put his ashes in the urn I realized that with him being so large I had to buy a second urn to fit all his ashes. These are just facts people have to accept if themselves or a family member is obese, there not one casket/urn that fits everyone. 💖
I think it’s interesting that the family members of the obese deceased say “they don’t look comfortable” I highly doubt they were “comfortable” while they were alive. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but it’s frustrating to me that, that’s where (and when) their concern lies.
@@KaritheMortician oh no I understand what you’re (and they) are saying, I mean I would want my loved one to look comfortable as well, regardless if they were overweight or not. I’ve told my husband before not to bury me in something fancy.....no, just give me some leggings, a sweatshirt and no shoes, because I want to be comfy! 😂
I'm obese, I'll be dead, just cut me in half from the waist down, no one is there to see if my socks match. Then just jam me in a casket, I don't need to be comfortable, not gonna feel a thing. When it's time to be cremated just quarter me up so I don't burn down the Crematorium 😂😂😂😂
I'd rather be cremated and I'm not obese. This is very interesting because my dad passed away a few years ago, and he was about 285 pounds. Not too big but considered obese. He was cremated tho. It was very difficult for them to lift him on the gurney tho.
Unfortunately this is a common thing nowadays. More people than not are obese. It has to be addressed. Restaurants and airplanes all have to be redesigned because of this issue. It's sad, but true.
Kari Northey I see the angry replies people leave you. They either don't understand or don't want to understand that you'll have to pay double the space for the plot and size of the coffin. Like when a obese person has to pay double the seats on an airplane. The obesity epidemic right now is causing so much inconveniences. With needing double the resources, double the fabric for clothes, etc. It really is a shame. :(
This topic is very touchy. I know that I have 150 pounds to lose. I had my abdominal tumor removal surgery on Monday and my roommate is 97 years old. It gives me gratitude to have her as a roommate. I have always been afraid of being buried and the idea of being embalmed and having my features set eye caps both my eyes glued and my mouth sutured shut doesn’t appeal to me. Especially since I’m currently 300lbs. I need to find gratitude quickly because being in this hospital depresses me. I want to feel normal again I want the staples out of my belly. I want to join the gym and exercise as well as diet. I want to add as much time on my clock as possible. Living into my 100s sounds amazing.
Kari Northey 5 months later I’m down to 285 I’m considering the gastric balloon I heard I can lose 100 pounds that way and eat in smaller portions. Last week I lost my closest friend to kidney disease she just had her new kidney failed. She was there when I lost my dad last August. And this entire year. And we were close as family she called my mom mommy. And me sister. I’ve known her since 2000. She died one day shy of her 36th birthday. 😭
Starr Destiny Equality keep up the good work. I had weight loss surgery 2 years ago and lost 150 lbs. Its so worth it. I am happy to have a 2nd chance at life.
I’ve been an EMT for 12 years and I’m thinking about getting out because I can no longer handle these obese patients. If my partner and I need help lifting them into the ambulance I will not hesitate to ask for help. These damn nursing homes and hospitals don’t seem to think that a heads up about this would be helpful, they just call us and don’t warn us in advance.
The heavy hitters will get ya every time. The best is when it's a "stairchair" and they're only "250" yea ok buddy sure. It's like carrying 500 lbs of jello in a trash bag on a scoop.
Jon Campos yes my mum is also a paramedic and the obese patients are the worse she says a lot are purposely lazy and can walk just fine or that because of staff shortages in the UK only 2 can work for each patient and so it can be really tough
storm le cat Most of these patients are either in a vegetative state or have been bed bound for most of their lives, so their obesity is understood, but we don’t have special bariatric stretchers and chains in our ambulances.
Yes I can see where this would be a very touchy issue. It's also sad too for the loved ones left behind. I mean what words does one use as a description of the decedants girth. I remember once a very long time ago when I was a kid, my dad was talking about one of his aunt's who was very heavy. Now this was back in the 1930s, way b4 my time, when bodies were still being viewed in the home. She had to be taken out a bay window because of her girth. How she was brought back home is beyond me, but having to hoist her out of a window had to have been a sight to behold.
I'm in NKY and my parents both were paramedics, we had a local man nobody seen in years that crossed over, the side of his trailer (he lived in a camper) had to be removed by the Fire Dept in order to get him out. it was so sad!
As a fat (but not morbidly obese) person, i have to empathize w/the funeral directors on this one. There really are some moments when one cares for the dead & their loved ones have to have these conversations. Some folks think pre-planning is a scam & not worth it, but I disagree when it comes to special-need clients. Not just heavy folks either, but if the dying person has some form of external condition that makes even viewing for family only a tad challenging. Examples are the general condition of the body (did they live alone or die in a remote area where decomposition is an issue), physical trauma (a person dying rather violently or traumatically, leaving a person in a less-than-desirable condition for viewing & the next-of-kin absolutely wants a viewing despite the challenge of prepping the deceased. There are no winners in anything like this, so we must have the conversation whenever possible.
The experts are constantly changing what is considered "obese", "overweight", "pre-obese", etc... but hey, whatever the experts decide, we must conform to
It's not that simple. A 6 ft 6 in football player with a large muscular frame can easily weigh 350 and would definitely not be obese or even overweight. People are getting bigger (not always fatter) due to better nutrition, athletic training, evolution, better general health, etc. Insurance companies (with their ludicrous BMI charts), casket and vault makers, undertakers, doctors, EMT's and others need to realize that the trend in weight is up and get ready to deal with it. Today's 300 pound man is the 200 pound man of the 1950's. 300 pounders are now common, not unusual.
Technically, 50 pounds above a person's Body Mass Index (BMI) is considered obese. If, 100 pounds over the ideal BMI, it is referred to as morbidly obese.
You sound like a compassionate, caring person who chose her words well
This is exactly why I keep watching!!
No
That was a professional answer to the topic. Don't see what there is for people to be mad at. I am obese and i know that bigger people have to pay extra for funerals its just common sense.
Dustin Roach my nan was large and she didn't pay extra. I'm small does that mean I would pay less for dieing that's awful.
Agreed.
Yes just like planes
@@KaritheMortician what about baby graves
Obese people pay more for their clothes,airline tickets to fly and yes to be buried.So why get mad because after life somebody have to pay more to put you away! Think about it.
You do a great job choosing your words while speaking of sensitive issues! I’m sure the families that you serve are very pleased with your candor and professionalism. Thank you for your informative videos.
Thanks so much!
When my father passed at home, I swear they sent the smallest funeral home person I'd ever seen. Very short and very thin guy. lol, It wasn't funny at the time and still isn't really... But, I helped move my father from the bedroom, down a narrow hall, and to the gurney. The funeral home guy was most grateful although he was apprehensive at first about letting a family member help. I was a young adult at the time and worked in nursing so assured him I could handle it. My dad was a large man. I looked at it as one of the last things I could do for my dad who had suffered for many years with a debilitating illness. This was back in 1993 and I was under the impression at the time the funeral home didn't have another person available to be called in. Anyway, that's my little story. :)
That happened to us when my dad passed away too. My dad was a very tall and pretty big guy. I thank God everyday for the hospice nurse that stayed at the house until the folks came from Nashville (about 2 hours) but they had sent the smallest guy. But when my grandfather passed a cpl months ago he was 96 and smaller than average with age I suppose, they sent two large guys. Guess it depends on the funeral home and the timing.
Rod Freeman six of us had to handle my father in the same situation. The narrow hall and two 90* turns made it tough. The most muscular person passed out so we had to step over him, another obstacle. Please people, take care of yourself weight wise. It was an experience that you do not want to go through. In case you don’t have help the fire dept may be called to help. My EMT son had to get a 600# person out and they had to cut a window out of the house. Her family was angry at the fire dept.
God bless you Rod for helping....🌹😉😃
Rod Freeman thanks for sharing. May your Dad R.I.P.
He passed what? Gas?
I recently came across some of your videos and I must say, I am fascinated with your videos. I recently lost my mom in 2015 but it still feels like yesterday. I watched the way she passed and it wasn't an easy sight and I've carried a lot of guilt? Not sure what word to use. My mom was cremated and everything was done so quickly and me and my sister didn't know a thing about what to expect. I wanted to tell you thank you for what you do and making these videos. They're very informative and you do such a wonderful job explaining everything. Very respectful and after watching a few of your videos, I feel more at peace knowing what was going on behind the scene when my mom passed away. I pray the funeral director who who prepped her and everything was as kind, gentle, and respectful as you were. Your videos make me feel a little more comforting. Thank you for another great video and hope to see more in the future! 😊
The more of your videos I’ve viewed the more I’m impressed with your sensitivity and compassion. I haven’t had much experience with funeral directors I hope most are like you
Thank you so much!
I understand the extra charge for the chemicals, but if you have people on staff, I don't understand that extra charge that's bullshit, you are no different from any other director it's all about the money you couldn't find the word what's wrong with more challenging you don't fool me it's money not compassion
Bull she has conn you in , she like all of them is only about money, wise up there is no way in hell funerals should be that expensive compassion my ass
I have done the funeral of a large deceased many years ago before these double size caskets were readily available. It too extra patience, a lots of creativity and even more flexibility from every person involved… The deceased was a friend and the family were amazingly understanding… It all went off smoothly. Out of respect for the family I wouldn’t mention any of the details. God bless them .
Thank you
Kari, I think you covered this topic in a dignified way. Thanks for putting your all into these videos!
I have no idea why TH-cam suggested this video, but I'm glad I watched and learned.
I think that people need to wake up and face reality, too many live in this fantasy world that is all about them. I have noticed as I became more homebound the past couple of years that I also became way more self involved, it is an easy thing to do when you are alone with yourself but the hard reality of this topic is that people are injured dealing with the morbidly obese in medical situations so it makes even more sense that this problem would carry in the final parts in life. (Time to make the self involved note here that I am neither heavy nor was I injured by a heavy person. I do have a friend who works in radiology at the hospital and has been hurt several times over the years by big people wanting to lean on her or expect to be lifted by her even though she is obviously 1/4 of their weight!). To me it is common sense that if you have to build a bigger box, it will cost more. If you have to run your furnace longer, it will cost more. I can't even imagine the logistics and risk of injury involved in moving a 500lb, 600lb or even heavier person and don't see why it has to be fully tippy-toed around. I do apologize because to some I seem unbelievably hard and maybe I am. I just don't understand why we have lost our common sense in America.
Lymphodema
You are wonderfully kind, compassionate, and gentle with your descriptions. As a obese woman with obese loved ones, I am grateful your honest yet kind response to a very tender subject. Love from Louisville, KY!
Just found your channel, very happy with your content so far. I always remember that part from Gilbert Grape, my grandmother was quite large & if she had to go out to the hospital it usually required the fire department to assist. I can’t imagine how upsetting this may have been. Years later i go & work
at my first SNF and lose my first patient a very large women; it was tough to say the least.
Thank you so much for being so respectful and caring on this! I feared I would end up disliking your channel after this yet I came to respect you and want to listen to you even more! I have struggled with obesity my entire life and I will always be battling. The worst is how the entire world ...and I mean from loved ones to the world have been truly cruel to me... Doctors family members random people have treated beyond cruel. Maybe this will end when I die.
I'm so sorry you are treated bad! My daughter is very heavy. I hate that people snicker & talk about her negatively. She's such a beautiful fantastic sweet smart girl (27). So much more than her weight!! We are trying to get the gastric covered by insurance. Hang in there my Dear
I am happy that there are people like you who dare to talk about topics like this(death an after care in general)!!
Definitely a subject worth talking about, and sometimes a sensitive subject. Most families will understand the difficulty of everything involved. I don't mean to sound cold or inconsiderate, but "dead weight" can be extremely heavy. Sometimes the fire department must be dispatched for a lift assist, for a removal. And in preparation, due to the obesity, there is only so much you can do, and hopefully the family will respect that.
Lifting my great grandmas dead weight was hard and she was only 150 lbs. I can’t imagine a 400 lbs person.
I was a paramedic many years ago. We were called to a sad accident where a train had struck a pickup truck and killed both occupants instantly. Interestingly, there were very few cuts, lacerations, etc. Both occupants were obese, one was morbidly so. 4 of us could not lift this one guy up high enough to our gurney, which we had left at its lowest level. I'm not trying to be rude, but when we would put our hands under the body and lift, mountains of 'bulk' would ooze off to both sides of our hands. It was like trying to pick up 400 pounds of jello...with no mold around it. Nobody was laughing. It was a serious issue that eventually took 8 more (12 total!) people to help. We had picked up an obese person before, but in those cases the person could help at least a little bit. Of course there is zero help from a deceased person. These are serious issues that nobody stops to consider.
This made me realise how bad it must have been when my Uncle died in his nursing home back in 2004.
Thom Thumbe I
Thom Thumbe being an obese lady myself I was very Leary to click this (I thought it would make me mad) but you are VERY a caring and gentle soul and you have an understanding surpassing your age (that's rare to find)👼👼
Foli that's not what I said,re-read,please......🌹
Patricia Pritchard
😊 no you didn't say that. I read your comment only once 😆
I’ve watched several of your videos now and always find you compassionate and informative. I would like to go to school to be a funeral director, but it’s not really feasible for me. There is only one school in my state and I’d have to move. I see this profession more as a ministry. Of course you show respect and great care for the person who has died, but the family is who you are really and truly taking care of. When my father died in 2004 the funeral director who worked with us was wonderful. Our family deals with thing using humor. We laugh. He picked up on this immediately and was wonderful. Going to school for this is still something I want to explore, but at age 44 I’m not so sure it’s something I’ll ever be able to do.
As a night nurse in an assisted living facility I found this very informative. It never dawned on me to inform the funeral director of the size of the deceased. I always assist with the removal of the body and if need be have an aide assist. I would love to see a quick video about tips for nursing home and assisted living staff in assisting with making the removal of a body easier for all?
Donna Hanna, a very close friend who was morbidly obese died in a nursing home and I was called as her health proxy to come to the home. When I arrived about an hour later, I found her body dressed in her nightie , still sitting in her convalescent chair with a sheet draped over her middle, exposing some of her adipose tissue. The chair was positioned facing the door, and the door was open, so that anyone passing her door would see her. There was discussion as to what to do with her remains as her family could not be reached in a town 4 hours away. This was at 10:30 at night. After much deliberation and calls to a local funeral home and the county medical examiner, it was decided to move her to the county morgue until relatives could be contacted. One small attendant and a normal gurney arrived at midnight. It became apparent that they would need a bigger gurney and another attendant. Another hour elapsed before the extra attendant and gurney arrived. It was 2 AM before they attempted to remove her. I was not in the room, but found out later they needed Vaseline to coat her hips, and an invalid lift to pry her out of her chair. Whether rigor had started, I don’t know, but an RN I know said that she should have been put in her bed and straightened immediately. It was a nightmare for her friends to see the way our friend had been stripped of her dignity. Obviously, there was no plan in place for patients who passed away there.
I am sorry for the death of the resident. However, I find that removing a dead resident who is very heavy, can be a very tedious job. Today, there is a variety of apparatus and cots made for the removal of corpses, even through tight places, stairs narrow hallways, etc. Sometimes, it takes more an one person to move an obese corpse through an obstacle.
Thank you so much for your time and straight forward explanations.We need to know about death and the preparation of funerals.Less scary ,more enlightened.Death is a part of living after all. Thanks again you are so kind to take time to involve us in real things,important before the time we need to know... A blessing ...
Thank you so much
I've been a Pallbearer at 2 funerals for morbidly obese family members. The first weighed 600#s carrying her oversize casket to the grave was a challenge for all 8 of us. Plus the grave was on a hillside. It had been raining all day. The cemetery had no equipment to lower her into the ground, so we had to use straps to do it.
The second 1, he weighed 650#s.
The funeral home actually left his casket on the wheeled cart for us to move him to the hearse. Lifting him up on the rollers was back breaking.
He was being cremated, so no graveside service.
I think the wheeled cart is now more common. My grandfather was not overweight and they put him on a cart.
Colonel Mark Julifs Really? You bury people even in the rain? When I attended a funeral all we could do was say our goodbyes at the tent covered set up at the burial site. Way too wet for a burial... I've never had the experience where a cemetery would bury during or after the rain. Interesting.
Jolene8, a tent wasn't even provided. No coffin lowering mechanism either.
All other grave side burial I've been part of also had the artificial turf around the grave. None at this funeral.
Could be because it was a rural area.
I know my cousins had to dig the grave for their grandmother at a grave yard in the 90s.
I had never heard of that happening.
Took them all night using shovels, and the hit a very old wooden coffin at the bottom of the grave. Cemetary had no record of anyone even being buried in that spot.
Smart. Burying in the rain brings a lot of danger to viewers holding umbrellas (think lightening rods).
Should You Buy It? {Reviews, Savings,& Couponing} o
Carrie , Is there anyone nicer than you? I doubt it. I sure hope I have someone as thoughtful and compassionate as yourself when my family and I pass. Thanks! For caring about your "customers" and their families. You are truly one of a kind. God bless you and your family. 😊❤🙏
Wow what a sweet thing to say!!
I think you're doing these videos is awesome and informative and done with dignity and respect. You're not creeping people out.Your putting a compassionate face and beautiful spirit to your side of the business during the worst time of some people lives having to have to make furneral arrangements for their love ones..
Every furneral home at the facilities .That I have worked for. When they called the Furneral home.The furneral staff would always asked how much do the person weigh how tall are they.And do they have staff willing to help with removal if needed by the furneral home. When they come to pick the body up.And yes most times the furneral home would only send one person. We have never had to call the fire department for one of our obese residents after death to help transfer them to the furneral home gurney.
Thank you!
Thank you for explaining that so polite & graceful. You are such a precious soul. Thank you
I like your channel you are calm and informative. Thank you
James Spencer 🤔
I've watched several of your videos. Thank you for your kindness & caring you clearly have for those you care for in such a sensitive, delicate line of work.
Thank you 💜
Honestly. This business is one of the hardest in the nation and all of my support/understanding to them. Who wants to truly deal with this type of circumstance? We should be grateful for those who wish to care for us after death. Personally, if I had to choose someone to prep me for death, this woman would be my first choice. Thank you for your education!! Xx
Beth Thorson I said the same thing, so professional and kind hearted and gives honest answers to questions. Makes you feel more comfortable talking about death
Inconvenience is definitely not what anyone would want to hear. Challenges come in all sizes. Some challenges take a bit more creativity to deal with, but we all hope to be handled with compassion and respect and assume we will be no matter our physical stature. I can only imagine how difficult your job is and am very thankful you chose this field to get into!
If I had a very large relative that passed, I'd want to hear the truth about those challenges as if it a regular part of the conversation any agent of the funeral home would have with any family member. I wouldn't want them to project that it feels like an uncomfortable matter that had to be discussed. If aunt Margo has to have a larger casket, I'd want to hear that aunt Margo needs a larger casket. Not unfortunately your aunt needs .... Its just a fact kinda thing. Hope I conveyed that right. I don't have an aunt Margo, but if I did ya know...😉
Thank you for all the time you've put into making these video's. They're fascinating and extremely informative! Your compassion is appreciated and endearing as well as the way you tell it as it is. Thank you so very much! I enjoy watching and learning from you. 👍✌
Your explanation on obesity of deceased persons was well said. It is hard for family's to acknowledge the reality of what being obese means in death; it's no different in needing over sized hospital beds. I really appreciate your wording as you spoke on these subject.
I've watched all of your videos regarding the funeral process and find it wonderfully done. It is sensitive, professionally presented, profoundly informative, empathetic, and practical at so many levels.It is excellent and I thank you for your professional, candid, and sensitive explanations. God bless.
Thank you very much. This is a sensitive topic and I think you covered things well.
You handled this with sensitivity; thank you for that. I had to listen to the folks from the funeral home drag my Dad down the hallway of my apartment building. It was very difficult. Dad was over 300 lbs. :( I offered to help, but they asked me to step outside.I would have been pleased to help them, but of course these guys didn't know me, and weren't sure if i could handle it emotionally speaking. Would have been one last thing I could have done for him....These gentlemen did everything they could to take care of Dad, and for that I will always be grateful :)
@@KaritheMortician Me too :(
Thanks for responding, you're wonderful :)
You are such a sweet, caring, professional person. God bless you in you helping the deceased and their family.
Bigger person = bigger pants = more fabric = higher cost. Same goes for caskets. It's logical. On that note, I'm going to eat another helping of fried chicken. LOL interesting stuff though... Subscribed.
I'm in the textile business, so I feel your pain.
Kari Northey all the time. Complaints for rising clothing costs especially for fat people is becoming more and more frequent.
You are a very compassionate person. All funeral directors have much to learn from you.
Thank you!
You answered many questions I had about obesity. True compassion and using the right words are all you can attempt. I worked in nursing for 30 years, and a little empathy can go a long ways. I can recall having patients in excess of 800 pounds. You still address them as Mrs. So and so. They know they are obese. You must love people to do what you do. 💕👍🏻⚰️⚱️
Kari, you are so kind. Thanks for your work.
My Cousin passed at home many years ago and when they, the fire department removed him it was not a pleasant thing, he weighed 700+ pounds, and had to be drug through the house to the front door. After that at the funeral home we had to purchase a 1 1/2 wide casket and vault which was rather costly. Than the burial. forward 2 years his Dad passed away and was about the same size, I wasn't involved in the funeral arraignments this time as my uncle and other family took care of it. At the cemetery they had to remove his decided wife and bury him down a few feet deeper and put her back up top. At the grave side it was weird seeing her vault on the ground next to him for the lowering. I have to say that the funeral home that handled both funerals were very professional. Yes they did look quite different, but decent too.
Kari funeral home stories are great.
I feel sorry for the fire department dragging such a glutton out of the appartment he could hardly get in to begin with.
My funeral director told me that anything over 300 lbs. is an additional 35% - 50% in costs added to a bill. It is a great incentive to lose weight.
Yes materials alone are an increase in cost
👍 Very true!
I don't understand why the family members of an obese deceased family member or relative would be insulted. The truth is the truth.
When I saw that this video was about obesity, I got worried. I have very close family members that are extremely obese and was so worried you would be insensitive in some way. I was worried I would not love your videos as much. Well I was totally wrong. I can tell that you are so respectful and the way you talked about this sensitive topic was amazing. Thank you.
You & everyone else needs to get over that. If you're fat, you're fat & you know it.
My mother was 244lbs. I was on my way but I refused to live that life. So I know whereof I speak. If the elephant in the room is as big as an elephant, everyone knows it. Why should anyone pussy foot around FACT?
If you take up more resources, there's a price to pay. Simple as that. So tired of delicate flowers who make problems for themselves & everyone around them, then expect the world to Molly coddle them.
what you should be worried about is your family members are not proactive enough about their health...........obese people need to realize they are large and they need to own their issue, not everyone else
cecilia preziose -oh I worrie.
Naelyn Eurkopfen Well said.
Naelyn Eurkopfen I knew this video was bound to get some dislikes but this woman is great and compassionate. I gave her a thumbs up. Anyone who dislikes it is eating to much pie:))
Thank you for your compassion and honesty.just started watching your videos and find them very interesting and full of" who knew" information!
Thank you so much!
We deal with oversized cases often. Being in the south fried chicken,fried pork chops, fried fried fried well you get the picture. It's difficult to explain to a family why this or that would not work when for 30 years they just knew all the preneed arrangements covered everything!
This is a wonderful video topic and wonderful explanation.
Hospital staff should politely tell the funeral home that extra staff will be needed due to the deceased being bigger than average.
Very good information. Makes me want to lose weight. I don't want to burden my family.
Don’t feel that way. It only piles more guilt and shame onto you. You are loved just as you are.
Kari Northey why do funeral homes charge so much for their services? Seems really unethical. I had to cremate my mother because caskets cost thousands. That is unacceptable. And no I'm not being hostile. I just want to know why death is so expensive.
2pacalypse Cult death doesn’t have to be expensive but she does explain why larger people pay more in the video. It really makes sense.
I don’t think your family would be crying about having to pay extra for your casket. I’m sure they would cry for having lost you too soon.
2pacalypse Cult watch the channel called Ask a Mortician
My ex-husbands late Father during his final trip to the hospital it took 5 good-sized firefighter/paramedics to get him off the floor, out of the area he fell into. His cremation took a great deal longer and the service his Mother used filled the urn with very warm remains and presented her with an almost hot Urn.
@@KaritheMortician from the office we were waiting in to take possession of the Urn I could hear them scraping his ashes together. It was pretty disturbing.
Thank you so much do making this video. I have some very obese relatives, and was wondering about this topic. I feel a lot more prepared for this eventuality.
When my ex wife passed away, I helped our daughter set up for the pickup of her body and the funeral. My ex wife always held her weight very well, so that she never looked her actual size. To our surprise, she weighed 395 pounds, so special arrangements had to be made. Also, an additional $100 was added to the cremation cost which was understandable. She now sits on a special place of honor in my daughter’s hutch in a beautiful mahogany container. She was only 60 years old and passed away in 2009. Even tho we drifted apart, we were close friends to the end and I was still in love with her. Had she lived and we stayed together, we would have been married 55 years on February 26th, 2021. As our wedding song states “If I Live to be a Hundred”, I’ll still be in love with you. I’m working on that, I’m almost 78. I’ll be in a wheelchair by then but I can still place her on my lap and have our final dance together and I’ll still be in love with her.
Thank you for sharing!!
@@KaritheMortician Your welcome, we were just two hard working coal region people from Pennsylvania in love. She wanted to wear a white gown in a church wedding, so for a full year between our engagement and the wedding we worked our tails off. We paid for everything ourselves and on that special day, as 100 of our relatives and friends sat in the church, this 22yo man waited to hold my 17yo bride in my arms. That was February 26th 1966!
Being in this line of business as well, it is sometimes very difficult when handling these types of cases. Sometimes it is hard to sugarcoat the explanation so it comes off as harsh, but the few cases I’ve had with the obese deceased, my families thought they were absolutely beautiful because I took my time making them look beautiful. It’s the little things that will make the families grateful.
Yes that is all so true!!
Both sides of my family have dealt with this issue on an obese person & death. On my dad's side, my Dad's step-cousin weighed 653lbs at the time of her death in 1993. She was not able to be embalmed, due to her stomach being that large, that she could not be laid flat on her back. So a closed casket had to be done for the wake & funeral. Cremation was not an option back then for her, due to no crematory having one that can cremate someone that large. Even today, there are still no crematories for humans only that can handle that size. I hear that if someone over 500lbs is cremated, that the body is taken to a place that cremates horses. I saw a video on that type, and it's huge. She had to be buried in 2 plots, & a crane had to be used to lower her casket into the vault.
On my mom's side, I had to deal with this issue with my mom. She refused to take care of her health, because she was not happy with her life, & instead of improving her own, she wanted to bring down everyone else along with it. She was close to 400lbs at the time of her death. We were left with no choice, but to have her cremated, due to the fact that she didn't have a large enough life insurance policy. Cremation, urn, opening & closing her plot costed us $4075. The funeral home we went with was also owned by the cemetery that my family is buried in, & they were fortunate that a closed funeral home that they purchased, had a state of the art crematory in it, so they could use that, instead of the 50 or 60 year old crematory that is at the cemetery. The funeral home with an on site crematory can cremate up to 500lbs, while the cemetery's crematory can only cremate up to 200lbs, & due to not cremating the body efficiently, the cremains come back in 2 temporary urns. Had we been able to go with the direct burial route, it was around $6500 for an oversized casket & vault, but would fit in a normal burial plot, plus opening & closing the plot. My mom's cremation took 5 hours.
With cremation getting dangerous as the population becomes obese (it's due to the excess fat that's being burned off the body), the industry is trying to get away from traditional cremation, & I forgot what it's called. I just know that the body is placed in a special pressurized chamber, filled with water and special chemicals, & the water is heated to around 300ºF, & boils & pressurizes the tissue away. They can safely breakdown bodies with this method (especially obese bodies) than with cremation. It does take a bit longer, but it's a bit more environmentally friendly. Problem is that it's not legal everywhere.
davenwin1973 g
Yes water cremation!!!!
Kari Northey
Well how’d the tour go?
davenwin1973 ]
resomation is the correct term for the process.
You explain everything so well--and are willing to talk about and answer sensitive questions---refreshing and needed...thank you....
I am a retired paramedic and totally understand. I am now 68 and my wieght is around 250. Cremation is definitly my choice. Do I need to make extra plans? Wish you were in my area. Your awesome.
You are a naturally comforting individual.perfect for your profession
I helped move a man who died in an ER. He weighed 450 pounds. Not a pleasant experience. As i recall, it took 7 of us.
You do sound like a caring knowledgeable and professional individual.Thank you for what you do.
This would be such a sensitive topic. Very informative.
Kari you did great. For years I've been warning hubby to loose weight. He was over 400 pounds. I told him if he wanted to be buried .He had to loose weight. He went in for cataracts surgery. And found out he was diabetic. He's changed his diet no sugar .He's now under 300 and continues to go down. I just told him I couldn't afford 1500 thousand plus to bury him. Due to special coffin and handling.
Kari Northey good for him it’s good he has a great coach. I’m actually afraid of death almost to a point of a phobia maybe it’s all the stuff I’ve seen. I know it’s going to happen I’m just curious of after
More work equals more money...
+Rich Carnaggio me too im scared to die because I've not been a good Christian im afraid of hell more than anything
Lisa Lentile I’m more afraid of is there more or is that it darkness I wish I could do it over again. Just because you say you weren’t a good Christian I believe in Jesus and I believe you well be accepted into heaven 😁
Thank you for this video...I know I never thought about what families go through with these additional decisions to make...bless their hearts and yours to for caring enough to inform everyone to this sensitive subject❤
It really boggles my mind that family would get upset. Funeral directors are not God. They can only do so much.
That One Girl amen
They're not exactly thinking clearly, id imagine.
Most people are ignorant about how funerals are planned and the preparations that go into the task. It is a big job. That is why I would recommend people to watch the shows by Kari the Mortician. She is a terrific morticianess. Funeral directors and directresses cannot do miracles for the families' sakes, let alone raise the dead.
@@captainkeyboard1007 yea! Yea! Captain! God bless!
@@wandalester7253 Thank you for writing to me.
Instead of inconvenience, I would say challenge
Excellent word! Thank you.
500+ lb. removals are getting to be more frequent. The Coroner calls where a person falls between a bed and nightstand, for instance, are especially difficult. We dont have enough room, and have nothing but ankles and wrists to hold onto. We sometimes "rearrange" the room if we need to. I had a body just last month where my cot straps were let out all the way and I got them buckled, but did not have enough strap to grab to tighten securely. Now there is another issue with going slow enough through right hand turns, so there isnt a risk of shifting on the cot. Obesity definitely does affect our business. Great channel Kari, glad I found you!
thank you!
I used to work in a hospital and the patients nurse would call the undertaker at the time of death. Maybe there should be the practice of the nurse to tell the undertaker at that time that the patient is obese so that more than one person will be sent to take the deceased to the funeral home.
I remember back in the late 70s I was an EMT one working for a combination of an ambulance and funeral home company. As I listen to you give your information I was reminded of the days gone by where I went through the exact same problems. Fortunately, I had a partner on all of the calls and we were able to handle them accordingly. One case in particular was a bit of a challenge, but we managed to, get through it. We had a senior citizen that coded in the emergency room right after we brought her in for having chest pain. She did not survive. The corner was notified and came out to pick up the case. After we got back to the office, our boss was made aware that we would be handling the funeral arrangements in the woman requested cremation the woman weighed over 400 pounds and as you can understand cremation trays for that particular size are not made. So my boss went out to the garage and we made a makeshift cremation tray out of plywood and cardboard. It was a nailbiter. But we had to improvise and that’s what we did. We were successful in getting her in the back of the hearse and getting her to the crematory and helping the assistant there unloading the woman. All I can say is this is one of those cases that you never learn about or hear about unless you’ve experienced it. It is not taught in school or something you can read in the books. It’s all about respect and the best way to keep the person safe without harming them. Could I work in a funeral home again today. Probably. Things have changed, but the protocols and the procedures as well as the laws I still remember. Thanks for the great video. I learned a lot.
Lawd I remember this young woman in my hometown died at her home. She was so large the Fire Department had to assist the Paramedics and volunteers to help with getting her from inside the home on the homemade transport to get her inside the ambulance. It was awful, embarrassing for the family, and amazing to the on lookers that didn’t know she had became so huge. The Casket was carried with about 12 men to carry something the size of small compact Vehicle. Amazingly something to see, but she had a beautiful personality and face. RIP Monique
Thank you Kari... You are very sweet, & kind! The sensitivity, & professionalism, is very much appreciated! Because even some "pros" can be very cold, & insensitive w/this topic! Thank you for your great videos!
Kari Northey WOW! Thank you, I'm honored you responded to my message! You're very welcome, I'm a big fan!
i think the funeral home should ask in advance of the weight of the person. Before sending someone out to the hospitals and nursing homes
Kari Northey it would save time. having to make 2 trips
Easy remedy ask first
I think that it would be nice if the hospital, medical examiner office, or nursing home staff or representative would notify the funeral home about the appearance of the deceased, so that the funeral director or funeral technician (driver going to do a removal) can make adjustments to remove the deceased from the site.
You're right every time I watch an episode of my 600lb life I think of the Gilbert Grape movie & them just removing what they wanted from that old house & setting it on fire
Thank you
I just found your videos as I'm planning to start a business. I find all your videos helpful and I would like to thank you very much for sharing these videos. Awesome job you are doing. 🙏❤️
When the crematorium smells like the kitchen at a McDonalds that’s not good. I love when a casket company claims that they get few complaints.
:)
it is great you put this out here. It is fact the person was obese. Hospitals and the family had to deal with it.
In America we’re WAY to sensitive toward the morbidly obese. When you remove all stigma for certain behaviors, you get more of those behaviors. The rest of society has to deal with these extremely fat people. Everybody’s health care costs go up, the fat guy sitting next to you on an airliner shoves you against the wall of the plane, and funeral home workers risk injury to their own bodies. This is almost a uniquely American thing, and it’s disgusting how being 400 lbs and rolling around in a motorized cart at Walmart carries no shame in 2021.
True
I have degenerative disc disease meaning my disc’s are crumbling. I have to use those drivable buggy’s. Your comment is very hurtful!!!! You just see a big person riding instead of walking. Don’t judge people! You don’t know what we live with everyday! You are very insincere! You need to try living in my place just one day! I take 4mg. Dilaudid every 8 hours plus muscle relaxers every 8 hours. My pain is worse than child birth & I don’t even get a baby as a reward! Next time think before you run your mouth!
@@burnetteterry73 I’m sorry about your back condition and hope you find relief some day. That said, my comment was a reference to people who weigh 400 lbs AND use that cart. If you don’t weigh that much, my message doesn’t apply to you. You deserve the cart. So, please, enough of your righteous hissy fit.
Thanks for explaining that sensitive subject so well! I observed something one time when I was at a viewing. It was at a person who was "obese" and I am being kind. When 2 of the funeral directors had to do something about some leaking that was taking place from the nose area. I just assumed it was inserting cotton. Not for sure. The gentleman's stomach area was actually higher than his head and I was thinking gravity had something to do with it but not for sure. Maybe you can answer that question. Thanks
Yes there is a lot more pressure when the stomach is above the head
Thanks for letting me know, this is very informative. It is sad, but very hard for everyone.
If you have to have an oversized casket chances are it won't fit into the back door of the hearse.
Standard oversize do
@@KaritheMortician With only an inch to spare on either side?
Great presentation -
One can only assume that the same family members who are offended by hearing the truth about an overweight loved one, are the same family members who 'enabled' that person's condition by not addressing the problem in the first place.
(I understand that not every overweight person listens to caring family members, but my point is not about family who doesn't care.. my point is about family who gets offended by facts they don't want to address.)
I have to sit down and REALLY watch the Gilbert Grape movie.
The woman who was in the movie (Darlene Cates) died in March 2017 at the age of 69 (see Wikipedia).
I've yet to watch it but this has piqued my interest
Omg....I was just watching that movie on Amazon video today!
It's a very good movie. Leonardo DiCaprio plays a retarded teen. It was so realistic when I watched it and was not familiar with Leonardo DiCaprio that I thought he was genuinely retarded. Seriously, ...he was that believable. I was embarrassed to learn that then totally astounded.
Thanks for such an informative video! I’m hoping more people in the funeral business can be on TH-cam.
it is not an inconvenience but added man power needed..............remind them that the person is really size of two people and it needs to be addressed, sadly
@@KaritheMortician - They need to accept what is bc that's what it is. Do they expect you to absorbed the extra expense? Some nerve. Good grief
Is there a threshold of when an additional staff member is needed or a larger casket/retort? Can you give a ballpark weight as a threshold?
It is based on the shape of the person not just the size
So sucky so many (including myself) have a battle with emotional eating in industrialized countries 😔 God bless
You have brightened my day.. Now my understanding of what they did for my dad killed in a plane crash. We went to site of the crash. In nsg school they took us to a funeral home. They left his smile lines at his eyes. The spot where his head hit an instrument panel was well blended in with color. I wish they had more liquid cremation sites.
Thank you for sharing! Yes I do also!
It's cheaper to just cremated them. They should have thought about that before eating themselves into Oblivion. If the family want you to make them not look so fat, tell them you're a mortician, not a miracle worker!
I think just explaining matter of factly why the person looks that way would be a better option.
When my father died & we were picking out his casket, our mom showed me & my sister the casket she wanted to be buried in. It was a beautiful pick casket with silk & ruffles. When our mother passed she was to large to fit in that casket, so we had to pick out a oversized casket that we thought she would like. When my sister told her 9 yo old son that she had passed, he asked if we were able to get grandma her pink ' basket '. That put a small smile on our faces. When our brother passed me & my sister choose to have him cremated. When I went to put his ashes in the urn I realized that with him being so large I had to buy a second urn to fit all his ashes. These are just facts people have to accept if themselves or a family member is obese, there not one casket/urn that fits everyone. 💖
I think it’s interesting that the family members of the obese deceased say “they don’t look comfortable” I highly doubt they were “comfortable” while they were alive. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but it’s frustrating to me that, that’s where (and when) their concern lies.
It is their perception and I would agree they most likely don't look comfy
@@KaritheMortician oh no I understand what you’re (and they) are saying, I mean I would want my loved one to look comfortable as well, regardless if they were overweight or not. I’ve told my husband before not to bury me in something fancy.....no, just give me some leggings, a sweatshirt and no shoes, because I want to be comfy! 😂
I have found the people who handle the dead on a regular basis do so with compassion, care and maturity.
I'm obese, I'll be dead, just cut me in half from the waist down, no one is there to see if my socks match. Then just jam me in a casket, I don't need to be comfortable, not gonna feel a thing. When it's time to be cremated just quarter me up so I don't burn down the Crematorium 😂😂😂😂
Robert Dennis lol
Robert Dennis how about just stop eating so much and lose weight?
You should read the book "How to lose weight by eating less food".
Lol that's so true tho
I'd rather be cremated and I'm not obese. This is very interesting because my dad passed away a few years ago, and he was about 285 pounds. Not too big but considered obese. He was cremated tho. It was very difficult for them to lift him on the gurney tho.
Unfortunately this is a common thing nowadays. More people than not are obese. It has to be addressed. Restaurants and airplanes all have to be redesigned because of this issue. It's sad, but true.
People are so touchy.
Kari Northey I see the angry replies people leave you. They either don't understand or don't want to understand that you'll have to pay double the space for the plot and size of the coffin. Like when a obese person has to pay double the seats on an airplane. The obesity epidemic right now is causing so much inconveniences. With needing double the resources, double the fabric for clothes, etc. It really is a shame. :(
This topic is very touchy. I know that I have 150 pounds to lose. I had my abdominal tumor removal surgery on Monday and my roommate is 97 years old. It gives me gratitude to have her as a roommate. I have always been afraid of being buried and the idea of being embalmed and having my features set eye caps both my eyes glued and my mouth sutured shut doesn’t appeal to me. Especially since I’m currently 300lbs. I need to find gratitude quickly because being in this hospital depresses me. I want to feel normal again I want the staples out of my belly. I want to join the gym and exercise as well as diet. I want to add as much time on my clock as possible. Living into my 100s sounds amazing.
Kari Northey 5 months later I’m down to 285 I’m considering the gastric balloon I heard I can lose 100 pounds that way and eat in smaller portions. Last week I lost my closest friend to kidney disease she just had her new kidney failed. She was there when I lost my dad last August. And this entire year. And we were close as family she called my mom mommy. And me sister. I’ve known her since 2000. She died one day shy of her 36th birthday. 😭
Starr Destiny Equality keep up the good work. I had weight loss surgery 2 years ago and lost 150 lbs. Its so worth it. I am happy to have a 2nd chance at life.
I’ve been an EMT for 12 years and I’m thinking about getting out because I can no longer handle these obese patients. If my partner and I need help lifting them into the ambulance I will not hesitate to ask for help. These damn nursing homes and hospitals don’t seem to think that a heads up about this would be helpful, they just call us and don’t warn us in advance.
The heavy hitters will get ya every time. The best is when it's a "stairchair" and they're only "250" yea ok buddy sure. It's like carrying 500 lbs of jello in a trash bag on a scoop.
This is a really sad comment. Losing medical professionals due to this epidemic.
Jon Campos yes my mum is also a paramedic and the obese patients are the worse she says a lot are purposely lazy and can walk just fine or that because of staff shortages in the UK only 2 can work for each patient and so it can be really tough
storm le cat Most of these patients are either in a vegetative state or have been bed bound for most of their lives, so their obesity is understood, but we don’t have special bariatric stretchers and chains in our ambulances.
You did this well. Things you never think of……..my grandma was HUGE. I was out of country at the time, no one ever said what they did.
Thank you!
Thanks Kari for another informative video on a very touchy subject. Very interesting on how you do your best to accommodate people in this position.
Wow there is so much more than I’d ever thought about that goes into the whole funeral process!
I think you sensitively handled the issue of obesity, unfortunately this problem will continue, informative video.
This is a world that was created perfectly by a perfect Great God that is full of imperfect people.
Yes I can see where this would be a very touchy issue. It's also sad too for the loved ones left behind. I mean what words does one use as a description of the decedants girth. I remember once a very long time ago when I was a kid, my dad was talking about one of his aunt's who was very heavy. Now this was back in the 1930s, way b4 my time, when bodies were still being viewed in the home. She had to be taken out a bay window because of her girth. How she was brought back home is beyond me, but having to hoist her out of a window had to have been a sight to behold.
MICHIGAN!!!!!!! The wife and I LOVE the west side. Great video!
I'm in NKY and my parents both were paramedics, we had a local man nobody seen in years that crossed over, the side of his trailer (he lived in a camper) had to be removed by the Fire Dept in order to get him out. it was so sad!
Oh goodness
Can you also do a video about chunky funeral directors, please?
lol
As a fat (but not morbidly obese) person, i have to empathize w/the funeral directors on this one. There really are some moments when one cares for the dead & their loved ones have to have these conversations.
Some folks think pre-planning is a scam & not worth it, but I disagree when it comes to special-need clients. Not just heavy folks either, but if the dying person has some form of external condition that makes even viewing for family only a tad challenging. Examples are the general condition of the body (did they live alone or die in a remote area where decomposition is an issue), physical trauma (a person dying rather violently or traumatically, leaving a person in a less-than-desirable condition for viewing & the next-of-kin absolutely wants a viewing despite the challenge of prepping the deceased. There are no winners in anything like this, so we must have the conversation whenever possible.
great video as usual,what weight is considered obese?.
The experts are constantly changing what is considered "obese", "overweight", "pre-obese", etc... but hey, whatever the experts decide, we must conform to
I would say 250 - 300 for overweight and then up from there is obese
It's not that simple. A 6 ft 6 in football player with a large muscular frame can easily weigh 350 and would definitely not be obese or even overweight. People are getting bigger (not always fatter) due to better nutrition, athletic training, evolution, better general health, etc. Insurance companies (with their ludicrous BMI charts), casket and vault makers, undertakers, doctors, EMT's and others need to realize that the trend in weight is up and get ready to deal with it. Today's 300 pound man is the 200 pound man of the 1950's. 300 pounders are now common, not unusual.
Technically, 50 pounds above a person's Body Mass Index (BMI) is considered obese. If, 100 pounds over the ideal BMI, it is referred to as morbidly obese.