When you actually think about it this movie is the perfect depiction of a game about a group of friends who get together to embark on their own adventure. The friend who overreacts, takes it too seriously, knows absolutely everthing about the game, tries to act cool, jokes around/doesn't take it seriously and the 1 girl they take along that they'll need to rescue at some point. The story even plays out like a nooby game of D&D. Generic bad guy played by the GM who does a horrible "bad guy" voice, influence taken from famous movies and an overly corny story. Everyone who has played D&D will remember and realize how close to D&D this movie is. :P
ConorChaos Well - a lot of D&D is like that. Depends on the players and GM - the group I used to p[lay with did much better than this movie, in fact, you could have taken any random gaming session we had and turn nit into a better movie :)
+ConorChaos Oh my god, this movie has so much meaning behind it! Including the DM in the end resurrecting a player who got himself into a stupid death out of pity.
ChickenPika 'guuuuuards... fiiiiind them... or else youuuuuu shall suffffffer --' guard: captured them while you was talking, boss. 'oh, ah. very good, then. fine job. uhm... carry on, i guess. take them to the duuuuungeon. do not faaaaaail me or eeeeeeelse--' guard: new report says the prisoners are secure in the dungeon, sir. 'damnit, stop interrupting me, captain! eeeelse i shaaaaaall... captain? where did everyone go?! noooooooooooo!'
If you look at the movie from the perspective that it's trying to portray dungeons and dragons as people play it, then all of the horrible acting, and dumb plot points begin to make sense.
***** You realize, of course, that you can have ham and character development in the same game, right? Like, having a villain who would be silly as fuck outside the context of the game doesn't mean that character's can't progress in any meaningful way. Hell, the antagonists of the original Star Wars trilogy were hammy as hell. The entire thing was practically a ham and cheese sandwich. Would you say that the characters had no development, though?
***** My mistake, I thought you were replying to Zachary Zinn for some reason =_= I agree that only an awful DM would kick a player from their group just because they turned evil. There's no point in playing at all if there aren't any RP goals for the characters, my group has always believed in role playing over roll playing. As for silly villains, keep in mind that I'm not necessarily talking, like, Will Farrell levels of silly. That said, a villain like Handsome Jack (Borderlands 2) is both silly and highly memorable, because he was also scary as hell. I wouldn't suggest an everyday GM try to write a character like that, of course, but a certain amount of haminess helps make a fun villain. I find that when the group is full of a bunch of super serious characters pursuing a super serious bad guy, the game get's a bit boring.
One thing do want to clear up is that when I say silly, I mean in the same way that the Emperor from the original Star Wars Trilogy was silly. i mean, technically, he was a pretty serious antagonist... but from an outside perspective, he's really quite ridiculous.
I must ask: why blue lipstick? If you're dressed in red and black, would red, black, purple, or gray lipstick not make more sense? I don't know why it bugs me so much, but it does!
QTPiNintendofan You see it's a matter of perception. Everyone knows that due to the shape of the eyes of bald people. That they cannot in fact see all colors. As such it is plausible if not definite that he thought he was wearing a soft rose pink shade, but in truth it was skittles blue.
Schwarzer Ritter It could be that he's a frozen corpse magicked back to "life"...but then it's an even worse make-up department fail because his skin isn't dead-looking and his lips would make a Smurf blush.
Actually, scientists measured Jeremy Irons's performance in this movie and were impressed to find it clocked 400 milliBrannaghs*, nearly twice the level he produced as Scar in the Lion King. * 1 Brannagh = the amount of overacting done by Kenneth Brannagh in the film version of Henry V.
Yeah, for some reason mages were referred to as magic users in the first edition of D&D. They fixes that in later versions when they added multiple kinds of magic-wielding folks (wizards, sorcerers, druids etc.) but it was pretty dumb to call them magic users in the first place. Even worse is that the fighter class was referred to as the "fighting man" which just makes them sound like an angry drunk. It's weird.
Michael Irons literally saved this movie. Without his overacting, it would have no purpose being on this earth. Thank you, Mr Irons, for that momentary lapse in your mental stability.
You're not wrong about Jeremy Irons's over-acting, but it reminds me a lot of Raul Julia doing M. Bison in the Street Fighter movie. I don't think either of them are trying to act "well," but rather are just trying to ham it up and have fun with the role. They know what kind of movie they're in -- might as well make the most of a bad situation.
Living Myth It's not like they were paying Julia for his acting skills, anyway. Guy's phenomenal, but hiring him for that is like hiring a five star chef to pour milk on your corn flakes.
Living Myth I preferred the over-acting, rather than the under-acting. At least, with over-acting, there's an emotion to detect, and there's definitely more lulz-appeal to it.
god jeremy iron is awesome! when he is acting serious he can bring awesomeness to the movie but when he is acting bad he actully bring more glorious awesomeness in a bad movie
Jeremy Irons MAKES this film. Without him, it would be ouright garbage. With him though, its just way too much fun watching him prance around. Every actor has a film they do just to yuk it up and have fun. You can tell this was that for Jeremy.
As a HUGE Dungeons and Dragons geek, I had monumental hopes for this movie. Watching it in the theater was an exercise in how much a dream could be crushed in an hour-and-a-half. When "Snails" died, I stood up and screamed "YES!!!" Instead of being escorted out....I was applauded.....
The irony is that Dungeons and Dragons 2 (direct to video) is a MUCH better movie (not great....but white noise on a blank screen would be better than this crap).
Tengu Shredder It was made in 2005 I think. D&D: Wrath of the Dragon God, or something. It was more loyal to the franchise. Not a great film, but much better than above. There was a third film this year (Book of Vile Darkness), but I liked the second the best (as a D&D person).
Tengu Shredder Been a while since I saw it, but it had logical party members (fighter, thief, mage, priest...etc) and a goodly amount of battles if my memory of it is right. It wasn't the festering pool of the original with idiots and comic relief.
The direct to video, no star, video was much better than the theater released movie with the Oscar award winning actor playing the villain. I call that ironic.
The third movie, aired on Syfy, the great cinematic movie channel(Sarcasm intended) is even better than the second one, to be honest. It's much better than the first. It was even fairly original, in showing you the villains as the protagonists.
One thing that's really neat about this movie is that everything that happens in it can be explained with game mechanics and concepts of D&D. The captain's devil minion? Blackguard Fiendish Ally. The thief activating the magic map? Use Magic Device skill. He probably has high charisma. The mage running into the garbage? Her Wisdom score suuuuucks.
scitechian LOL, have you seen him in the Borgias? Another case where I believe he was the saving grace of the entire production. Well, perhaps I'm being a little too harsh, the show wasn't that bad, but it is kind of propped up by the innate intrigue of the time and place it depicts, rather than by any stunning writing or acting on its part, IMO.
Gotta admit, I rather watch a movie full of over-acting, than underacting. At least Over-Acting is somewhat enjoyable. An unenthusiastic actor can kill a movie completely.
nikitas votzakis Hayden was never good in ANY movie, he's an awful actor and he brutally murdered the Anakin Skywalker character. George Lucas must have been high on Meth when he casted this expressionless, underacting wooden log. And to put him next to someone like Ewan McGregor for 2 whole films just makes it all the more painfully obvious how terrible this moron is.
This movie should've been more true to dungeons and dragons by making a conversation that Dungeons and Dragons players probably would have! (But not exactly) Ridley: "Can't I revive Snails with a magic revive spell?!" Marie: "No, you'd have to either be a level 15 mage or a level 6 Wizard for that spell!" Ridley: "Then how about brewing a revive potion or buying one?!" Marie: "Level 13 alchemist..." The Dwarf: "And besides, that'd be a waste of money on one of them!..." The ignore his racism and carry on the conversation! Ridley: "Then I'll steal one!" Marie: "You're only a level 7 thief, you're not level 12 yet and they'd probably burn his corpse by then!" In fact that'd be a better idea for a DnD movie, a comedy where they make jokes about the need to level up, characters walking around like: "Hey baby, I'm a level 12 warrior with +15 bartering skills!" and she says "Ooooh, sorry but you need +26 bartering skills just for me to acknowledge you as a fellow human being AND +35 attack strength for me to find you attractive!" And the effects would be great, it would also be one of those movies where you think "WOW, for a comedy these special effects are great!"
Ridley's player: "So if I take another level in rogue, I'll be able to pull off my first level of Arcane Trickster! Then my insane feat preparation will pay off to make me statistically 13% more eff-" *SMACK* Gamemaster: "This is roleplaying, not rollplaying, fuckface."
"I'd have to put a feeblemind spell on myself to take you home!" NC: "Uh... snap?" Yeah, acutally. Any D&D player is thinking 'Ohh, want a Cure Light Wounds potion for that burn?'
Wait a minute... the dwarf has a red beard, uses an axe, is bumbling and comedic unless in a fight, and has a racist attitude towards elves...Holy crap, it's Gimli!
It seems that the people at New Line Cinema are specialists at wasting the money of great successes on crap. This movie used the proceeds from Austin Powers, and The Golden Compass used the proceeds from Lord of The Rings...
Golden Compass was OK movie, probably not the masterpiece in anyone's eyes but definitely enjoyable - strong acting, interesting story and good visuals. Too bad catholic retards fucked its reputation, otherwise we'd definitely see the sequel to this overall entertaining movie.
26CLT US Catholic League, which by the way still has waaaay to much influence there, labeled the movie as promoting atheism for children and urged catholics everywhere to boycott the movie (granted that brainwashing children with its ancient bullshit stories is OK). Although movie still did alright at box office, the plans for sequel crashed because they would have to be heavily censored which would make it impossible to make a decent movie. Plus, funding has been cut. It may have not turned out to be an all-time great, but I still fucking hate when a bunch of retards ruin good ideas just because of their own insecurities.
When they first announced at a Gen Con that this movie would be made, all the preview scenes made it looks promising; but then, they didn't show anyone acting either. Just the locations. A few months later when I heard it would have Wayans I knew the movie would suck.
Exactly! In the final... CGI battle or... Whatever that atrocity was, I could hardly understand anything he said. xD But still love ♥Jeremy♥. :) I think I know exactly of which ''Billy Zane'' you're talking about. It's that bald guy from ''The Mummy'', right? I thought it was him too, but that baldy is actually Arnold Vosloo. xD And this blue lipstick baldy is Bruce Payne. xDDD So it's two different baldies, and neither of 'em is Billy Zane. But people often confuse them for some reason. xDDDD
***** I think that Irons did this movie in return for a large check and a promise that they'd stop calling him. He's actually a very good actor - he was in a BBC television version of Henry IV in which he was superb. Sadly it's crap like D&D that pays the bills.
Didn't watch that show, but if it's BBC it has to be good, I'll check it out, thanks for recommendation. Yeah, I agree with you, I've watched several of his films, and was never disappointed with his performance (even in this movie I love him :D). But I am grateful this magnificent piece of crap is produced, Jeremy's overacting improved my mood countless of times and I'm glad if it's true what you say and he received a big pay check for this... Masterpiece. :)
+hunterkiller1440 It's not British bad, Americans Good. It's that the British accent used for the villains sounds suave, intellectual, and cultured, while an American accent is... none of those things. If it was British Bad, Americans Good, more villains would have cockney accents.
Biggest laugh for me came from the Christmas card: "Please don't ask why his lipstick is smeared." Also loved "Joan of LARP". Except how did he resist calling attention to Baldy's line, "NOW WHAT ABOUT MY HEAD?!"
To be fair, the sword fight at the end can be explained because Ridley is a THEIF, and in D&D lore I believe Thieves were never over experienced in sword combat, and were better at being stealthy. Oh, and yeah no. It didn't follow D&D lore at all, to be very honest.
Rogues do fight in swordfights, they often flank the enemy with the fighter or pally on the other side to boost attack rolls... Stealth just makes for a sneak attack or two until you turn to support and dps
Since when did dnd have lore? There are campaign settings like forgotten realms and such but everything else is left up to your discretion... There's tools to make any type of monster or weapon or setting if you can make it work. That being said this movie sucks ass.
Thank you suspicious tumbleweed. I am quite new to D&D and gladly accept your clarification on the subject. I apologize for all the information I got wrong.
Suspicious Tumbleweed* Depends which edition of D&D you're using. In the early editions, Thieves didn't have sneak attacks, and although they were better than mages, they certainly weren't intended to fight alongside the Fighters to flank enemies. That was the job of the Cleric, who could wear heavy armour, and use a shield, just like the Fighter. (Or Paladins, Rangers and Crusaders, which were basically just variant Fighters anyway.) Of course, that still doesn't explain Damodar....
I don't think you understand, this is making fun of the average D&D campaign. It isn't SUPPOSED to be good screenwriting, it's meant for a specific audience... and that is where the film failed. This movie is making fun of every hilariously shitty character stereotype, and that is why it's wonderful. I get that from a purely cinematic standpoint with no context, most people must hate this movie... but when you know what it's making fun of, you realize exactly how beautiful this movie actually is. Everything is perfect in doing what it does. The over-dramatic and slow evil minion is the goth guy who wears too much lipstick and gets way too into his character development (and being that big baddie's bitch), the guy who actually wants to play the game and is therefore the main character, the black friend who has a hard time staying in character, the guy who wants to just play the game's girlfriend (Mia), the DM's girlfriend playing the "HEY I'M A PLOT DEVICE" Elf, even the bad CGI dragons show the terrible descriptions that a lot of DMs give.The terrible story and rip-offs of many popular movies (the council from Star Wars, the temple/maze from Indiana Jones, etc.) are a thing that many people do in their games, which was another great spoof. This movie wasn't meant to be serious, though it does such a wonderful job of convincing unbeknownst audiences that have never played a table-top game that it is, which is in some ways a bad thing but for everyone who gets the joke, it is truly a work of art.
A DnD Campaign i played once consisted of a big ass lizardman that ate people, Dr. Girlfriend if she was a rogue, The six six string samurai (with a fender stratocaster), A paladin.... only person who actually got anything done, a druid who owned a horse that was smarter than him, and some other shitty rogue that who got bound with a monster made out of horsecrap, dirt, and 5 giant troll dicks (it was a prank we pulled on him cuz he pissed us off). Thats the DnD i know. (I was the lizardman because BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!)
EdSkywalker You mean the D&D movie? Well, it certainly wasn't low budget! Actually, as far as fantasy movies go, it's wasn't half-bad. It was just that the story and dialogue were so badly written it was almost unbearable.
This film really was dire. Embarrassing that only 1 year separates this film and the first LotR film. You know the school project analogy Critic used in his Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog/Sonic SATAM comparison? Fits perfectly here.
RPGQueen87 Relax, she's getting a cyborg one next season, I bet. And, hopefully, beating Mercury to death with his own robo legs. I sometimes root for the bad guys, but seriously, FUCK Cinder Fall and co.
Yeah this was bad.. In a game that literally ANYTHING can happen, this movie had less creativity than a blank sheet of paper. I recently started getting into D&D myself, sadly all of my friends live far apart. So we do everything Online, Do you know what that means? Everything relies on the DM and players imagination. And eventually our DM wanted to take a break so he taught me how to do all the stuff and I made a world for him and my other friends. With a lot of my own Homebrew stuff. I would Explain it all but... that would make this comment very...very..long. but main point is that I added several races of animals. (fueled by my love of the Khajiit) I made so many that I even included mythological ones such as this one. Kitsune, Furry +4 Wisdom -4 Dexerity Medium Size 5,2 Humanoid (Furry) Base land speed 25ft +2 Racial bonus Will/Reflex/Fortitude bonus Automatic Languages: Fox, Kitsune, Furry and Common. Bonus Languages: Common, Elven, Goblin, Orc. Racial bonus, can use tails to throw multiple items up to 5ft. But, all tails count as 5 foot in range but subtract in weight. strength counts as a balance. Can run 30ft once per week. So, I'm just wondering how they made such a bland story. even out of the base story.
Being someone who also played D&D I can say this movie was shite also nice character designs, I too thought of the idea of putting skyrim races into D&D as skyrim lore seems like it wouldn't be to hard to put into D&D
TheOmegau well this is a Kitsune which is a fox with nine tails. And since it is more human than animal those tails are a burden. but I allow the character to move very fast using the tails but they make the character very tired.
Kaede Games Hmm. You seem to only be using base bits of the mythology though. They were generally shapeshifters and tricksters. Also, something that's lived with a tail (or nine) for a long time would adjust to it. There are a lot of different homebrew kitsune though. Still, taking the whole mythology and interpreting it your way would be more fun that just taking a furry, slapping a bunch of tails on it, and then giving it penalties for the tails when, as you've never had a tail, you wouldn't actually know if they would result in that.
See, that's what happens when you try to have the two get the EXP by themselves, one of them inevitably dies and all that grinding for him is worthless.
Thora Birch, Tom Baker, Marlon Wayans and Jeremy Irons in a single movie. Even the casting in this is genuinely weird ! Loved the "Joan of LARP" pun. X-D
I've always had more fun playing a big battle on the field. This one battle was really awesome though. We had this huge army of douches, as we called them, attack this village(haven't played in forever, can't remember the name of it) and we were outside the village while it was in the middle of being sieged. So we had to kill their general and eventually get in. Our archer kept picking off men until they broke through and started fighting off the soldiers. The archer saved this commander from certain doom, my character's father almost died, and we fought off the huge army
This movie follows D&D the game like about as well as a lazy cook looking at a picture of a pizza and then throwing together stuff that's makes it look similar but is completely wrong and terrible; using hard tac for the crust, ketchup for the sauce, and if ketchup is normal lets put on some mustard for "wow" factor, coconut shavings instead of cheese because, hey, they're both white; sliced bologna for meat, because we saw something in the picture that looked like meat, and bologna is a meat, so it's completely correct, and serving it on a LP record of Beethoven's 5th because we heard you like to rock out when eating your pizza things. The makers of this movie spent all of 2 minutes looking at pictures of D&D books and then threw together the most insulting patronizing garbage imaginable. They might as well asked your high school lunch lady to make this movie. The one with the accent but shouldn't have an accent because she's from the same place as you. We all had that lady making our lunches and wondering how you can constantly get a hamburger wrong in so many ways. It's like your grandfather seeing how excited you were watching a trailer for a Disney movie, so he goes out and buys you a DVD of nothing but Disney movie trailers. As someone who used to play D&D, I felt the need to quit just to spite the movie somehow.
The plot of the Dungeons & Dragons movie, if tweaked a little, would make a great campaign. A society where mages form the elite, one mage wanting to overthrow his/her ruler, and a relic that will grant victory to its holder--all that along with many dice rolls would be a real adventure. Granted, it was Courtney Solomon's directorial debut, and license-holders and investors did interfere with the production. Plus, an older screenplay was used when a more updated version better suited for the film had been written.
Randomchallenger With how much the lethality went up in 5e, it could last longer. Plus, think about it. Profion is a powerful wizard, "Baldy Blue-Lips" is a strong fighter, Ridley is an amateur thief, Marlon (don't remember his character's name, plus he's pretty much being himself) is an unlucky thief, not-Gimli is a dwarf barbarian, and Hot Magical Girl is an apprentice wizard.
For years I was trying to place a scene I saw when younger of a dragon being crushed to death by a wall. This was it. Years of searching ended. Thankyou. Now if only my younger self had better taste in movies.
I wonder if Jeremy Irons was told by the director of this movie to give an over-the-top performance or if he decided to crank the ham up to eleven himself. And is it just me or does Damodar's soldiers look like the Mythic Dawn assassins from Oblivion?
Am I the only one that was waiting for Mel Brooks to come out in the opening sequence and start singing about the Inquisition? Also, I kinda liked Snails.
Hmm, Jeremy Irons as a villain in this dragon movie, then as one of the heroes in Eragon. Pretty cool. Damodar always smiles when Jeremy Irons goes crazy in his acting. I think he's enjoying it as much as me.
Margin Call, Inland Empire, Casanova, Kingdom of Heaven, The Merchant of Venice, The Man in the Iron Mask, The Lion King and M. Butterfly to name a few. Yes, I am exceptionally fun at parties.
My feelings on this one are mixed. On one hand--it really is a terrible movie, but terrible in a way that's entertaining. This is the kind of movie you could throw in and enjoy while tearing through a couple of six packs with a buddy or even use to construct a drinking game. It's horrible, but enjoyable at the same time, in my opinion. As it pertains to its source material? Eh. I mean, the thing about D&D is that it's all about imagination and storytelling. This movie didn't really try to emulate a particular campaign setting, at least not to my knowledge. I mean, yeah, they threw in some references by naming a few spells, vague mention of some elements, featuring a few cameos of a couple of enchanted items, and I think there was a scene involving a Beholder--but it really wasn't trying to adapt a particular story or setting such as The Forgotten Realms, Eberron, or Ravenloft. This, to me, seemed very much akin to a custom written campaign setting thrown together by a novice Dungeon Master--the kid that may have been playing D&D for a couple of years, has the passion and creativity, but just has no real DMing experience and isn't a particularly good writer. So, he drew inspiration from the classic tales and adventures with which he grew-up (in this case, I'm referring to the maze sequence I feel was paying homage to Indiana Jones more so than just shamelessly ripping it off) and obviously added in some elements from preexisting campaign settings. As a D&D veteran who's been playing consistently for the past fourteen years (of course, that's nothing compared to how long some of the OG Rpers have been playing as I'm certain there's still a great many of yous guys that have been around since the original white box set--much respect), I do see the quirky charm of this film. It's not the most original story and it's definitely laden with flaws, but when you consider the source material, it could have been far worse. Now, had this movie attempted to cover a well established campaign setting I think I would have liked it far less. As a movie, it's pretty bad, but as a story? It's not a complete slight against humanity. I mean, this is pretty much a starter campaign for new players. I wouldn't recommend that this film be used as a proper introduction to Dungeons & Dragons, but for those who've chucked a few d20 in their day, it might be good for a chuckle or two. My take on it, anyway.
this movie on its own is nothing special, but it's hammy and cheesy enough to get a good laugh at, for sure. one thing I'll keep defending to the death however is the music. the suite for this movie is shiveringly beautiful.
When you actually think about it this movie is the perfect depiction of a game about a group of friends who get together to embark on their own adventure. The friend who overreacts, takes it too seriously, knows absolutely everthing about the game, tries to act cool, jokes around/doesn't take it seriously and the 1 girl they take along that they'll need to rescue at some point. The story even plays out like a nooby game of D&D. Generic bad guy played by the GM who does a horrible "bad guy" voice, influence taken from famous movies and an overly corny story. Everyone who has played D&D will remember and realize how close to D&D this movie is. :P
Not the mention the two players (the dwarf and elf) who came in late.
ConorChaos Well - a lot of D&D is like that. Depends on the players and GM - the group I used to p[lay with did much better than this movie, in fact, you could have taken any random gaming session we had and turn nit into a better movie :)
ConorChaos I agree, this movie is quite close to a real D&D session. I guess the problem is that D&D sessions are definitely BAD to base a movie on!
+ConorChaos If you want to see that, you have to watch Record of Lodoss War.
+ConorChaos Oh my god, this movie has so much meaning behind it!
Including the DM in the end resurrecting a player who got himself into a stupid death out of pity.
"You muuuusst be jokkkkinnggg."
Dude, speaking slowly doesn't make you more threatening.
ChickenPika Yeah, if anything he sounds more pouty and like he's trying to sound sexy, and failing at it.
ChickenPika
*smirks*
_But it does make him sound rather _*_click_*_ noice._
ChickenPika 'guuuuuards... fiiiiind them... or else youuuuuu shall suffffffer --'
guard: captured them while you was talking, boss.
'oh, ah. very good, then. fine job. uhm... carry on, i guess. take them to the duuuuungeon. do not faaaaaail me or eeeeeeelse--'
guard: new report says the prisoners are secure in the dungeon, sir.
'damnit, stop interrupting me, captain! eeeelse i shaaaaaall... captain? where did everyone go?! noooooooooooo!'
+ChickenPika Talking is a free action, I suppose...
+ChickenPika Looking squarely at you, Emperor Palpatine.
If you look at the movie from the perspective that it's trying to portray dungeons and dragons as people play it, then all of the horrible acting, and dumb plot points begin to make sense.
i got kicked out of my dungeons and dragons group for turning evil three times in a row :D
As a Gamemaster, the best way to serve a dish of D&D is with a gratuitous side of ham and cheese.
***** You realize, of course, that you can have ham and character development in the same game, right? Like, having a villain who would be silly as fuck outside the context of the game doesn't mean that character's can't progress in any meaningful way.
Hell, the antagonists of the original Star Wars trilogy were hammy as hell. The entire thing was practically a ham and cheese sandwich. Would you say that the characters had no development, though?
***** My mistake, I thought you were replying to Zachary Zinn for some reason =_=
I agree that only an awful DM would kick a player from their group just because they turned evil. There's no point in playing at all if there aren't any RP goals for the characters, my group has always believed in role playing over roll playing.
As for silly villains, keep in mind that I'm not necessarily talking, like, Will Farrell levels of silly. That said, a villain like Handsome Jack (Borderlands 2) is both silly and highly memorable, because he was also scary as hell. I wouldn't suggest an everyday GM try to write a character like that, of course, but a certain amount of haminess helps make a fun villain. I find that when the group is full of a bunch of super serious characters pursuing a super serious bad guy, the game get's a bit boring.
One thing do want to clear up is that when I say silly, I mean in the same way that the Emperor from the original Star Wars Trilogy was silly. i mean, technically, he was a pretty serious antagonist... but from an outside perspective, he's really quite ridiculous.
I get the strangest feeling that this was adapted from the writers actual D&D campaign.
Jayden Crowe I get an even stranger feeling that not only are you onto something, but that they did so not even knowing the rules to D&D
+Jayden Crowe I've seen a few D&D campaigns. None were this bad. Ever
+Jayden Crowe hell my current D&D gam would make a better movie.
+Jayden Crowe snales res was DM going OK you can play again.
Mabus XB From what I've seen and heard, most D&D campaigns would make for interesting cinema.
I see that the bald guy chose Coral Blue #5.
Nah. It's Ichiban, Lipstick for Men.
Actually, it's Coral Blue Number--*smack*
〉 Insert Name Here 〈 Dr. Drake Ramoray would be proud.
I don't know what to say, both of those comments are beautiful.
NerdyEspurr "Actually its Coral Blue number-*WHACK*
I must ask: why blue lipstick? If you're dressed in red and black, would red, black, purple, or gray lipstick not make more sense? I don't know why it bugs me so much, but it does!
QTPiNintendofan You see it's a matter of perception. Everyone knows that due to the shape of the eyes of bald people. That they cannot in fact see all colors. As such it is plausible if not definite that he thought he was wearing a soft rose pink shade, but in truth it was skittles blue.
christian martin Lol, I love your explanation!
QTPiNintendofan thank you, it's quite logical when you think of it that way.
+QTPiNintendofan Maybe he has blue lips, because he is actually undead and the movie does a bad job explaining it?
Schwarzer Ritter It could be that he's a frozen corpse magicked back to "life"...but then it's an even worse make-up department fail because his skin isn't dead-looking and his lips would make a Smurf blush.
I hope that was in the actual movie script. "Ah-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!"
Actually, scientists measured Jeremy Irons's performance in this movie and were impressed to find it clocked 400 milliBrannaghs*, nearly twice the level he produced as Scar in the Lion King.
* 1 Brannagh = the amount of overacting done by Kenneth Brannagh in the film version of Henry V.
400 milliBrannaghs is still only 12 NickCageograms and only1.2 MegaShatners, not that high all things considered.
***** Nostalgia Criticgrams are an interesting measurement concept, yet I don't see how you made it into a countable :c.
Michael J Fox, however, clocks in at only 1.21 jigoshatners
400 millibranaughs = .4 branaugh. Are you sure you dont mean 400 branaughs or maybe 4 kilibranaughs?
KlunkerRider This should've been official.
Overactors make the movie,
Underactors break the movie.
"Oh my God, there was way too much ham in that actor." LMAO
1:18
Oh, mages are magic users.
THANK YOU CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
This was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.
To be fair I think they were just trying to explain what a mage was to people who may not know.
Oh.
Doesnt excuse a bad movie tho
No it doesn't.
Yeah, for some reason mages were referred to as magic users in the first edition of D&D. They fixes that in later versions when they added multiple kinds of magic-wielding folks (wizards, sorcerers, druids etc.) but it was pretty dumb to call them magic users in the first place. Even worse is that the fighter class was referred to as the "fighting man" which just makes them sound like an angry drunk. It's weird.
ICHIBAN - LIPSTICK FOR MEN!
He really is a chameleon.
Michael Irons literally saved this movie. Without his overacting, it would have no purpose being on this earth. Thank you, Mr Irons, for that momentary lapse in your mental stability.
who? ;)
Jeremy Irons, not Michael Irons.
*Jeremy, and he wasn't the only one to save it; the bald guy with the blue lipstick also gives me joy while watching this horror.
Lol! Good point!
You're not wrong about Jeremy Irons's over-acting, but it reminds me a lot of Raul Julia doing M. Bison in the Street Fighter movie. I don't think either of them are trying to act "well," but rather are just trying to ham it up and have fun with the role. They know what kind of movie they're in -- might as well make the most of a bad situation.
Living Myth (In best Raul Julia voice) Of course!
Living Myth It's not like they were paying Julia for his acting skills, anyway. Guy's phenomenal, but hiring him for that is like hiring a five star chef to pour milk on your corn flakes.
Living Myth I preferred the over-acting, rather than the under-acting. At least, with over-acting, there's an emotion to detect, and there's definitely more lulz-appeal to it.
god jeremy iron is awesome!
when he is acting serious he can bring awesomeness to the movie
but when he is acting bad he actully bring more glorious awesomeness in a bad movie
When asked why he did this film, he replied, "Are you kidding? I'd just bought a castle, I had to pay for it somehow!"
@@kuribayashi84It has Michael Caine in Jaws 4 vibes.
Jeremy Irons MAKES this film. Without him, it would be ouright garbage. With him though, its just way too much fun watching him prance around. Every actor has a film they do just to yuk it up and have fun. You can tell this was that for Jeremy.
+Women's Studies Textbook Well, that and he had just bought a castle in Ireland.
As a HUGE Dungeons and Dragons geek, I had monumental hopes for this movie. Watching it in the theater was an exercise in how much a dream could be crushed in an hour-and-a-half. When "Snails" died, I stood up and screamed "YES!!!" Instead of being escorted out....I was applauded.....
The irony is that Dungeons and Dragons 2 (direct to video) is a MUCH better movie (not great....but white noise on a blank screen would be better than this crap).
Tengu Shredder It was made in 2005 I think. D&D: Wrath of the Dragon God, or something. It was more loyal to the franchise. Not a great film, but much better than above. There was a third film this year (Book of Vile Darkness), but I liked the second the best (as a D&D person).
Tengu Shredder
Been a while since I saw it, but it had logical party members (fighter, thief, mage, priest...etc) and a goodly amount of battles if my memory of it is right. It wasn't the festering pool of the original with idiots and comic relief.
How is that ironic?
The direct to video, no star, video was much better than the theater released movie with the Oscar award winning actor playing the villain. I call that ironic.
The third movie, aired on Syfy, the great cinematic movie channel(Sarcasm intended) is even better than the second one, to be honest. It's much better than the first. It was even fairly original, in showing you the villains as the protagonists.
That guy's wearing coral blue #2 semi gloss lipstick.
Actually its coral blue number 3.
Why did i KNOW, that i'll find these two comments here? ^^
I bet he also knows all there is to know about the crying game...
I think is Ichiban lipstick for men.
Actually it's coral blue number 5
The debate scene is too much like a debate between trump and hillary...
+Fry It's pretty much exact. XD
Lol yeah
OMG! I can literally imagine this happening. The only difference is that it would go on for way longer and would be a lot louder, but still funny.
One thing that's really neat about this movie is that everything that happens in it can be explained with game mechanics and concepts of D&D.
The captain's devil minion? Blackguard Fiendish Ally.
The thief activating the magic map? Use Magic Device skill. He probably has high charisma.
The mage running into the garbage? Her Wisdom score suuuuucks.
Beware men with cold hearts and blue lips.
where have you been, Ryan Drewrey ?
lots of travelling, Brian. Lots of long drives
Actually, we have a term for that. Hypothermia.
That's coral blue #5
Madame Careless a mans lip color matches his dick head color
not exactly blue balls but hey
Hey man, Jeremy Irons is the shit and I love how he went Shakespearean apeshit for this crappy role.
He's pretty much the saving grace of the whole movie. "Shakespearean apeshit" is a perfect description.
scitechian LOL, have you seen him in the Borgias? Another case where I believe he was the saving grace of the entire production.
Well, perhaps I'm being a little too harsh, the show wasn't that bad, but it is kind of propped up by the innate intrigue of the time and place it depicts, rather than by any stunning writing or acting on its part, IMO.
BiscuitHead Hatatatatatatata!
I can never hear Jeremy Irons without thinking of Scar. It's so damn distracting.
The doctor who thing just made me laugh!
"I'm healing you" nearly killed me x'D
Gotta admit, I rather watch a movie full of over-acting, than underacting. At least Over-Acting is somewhat enjoyable. An unenthusiastic actor can kill a movie completely.
Like Hayden Christiansen in Star Wars Episode 2, AMIRITE? =)
ZhangtheGreat Hayden was good on the 3rd one though
nikitas votzakis Face Off is a favorite of mine
nikitas votzakis
Hayden was never good in ANY movie, he's an awful actor and he brutally murdered the Anakin Skywalker character.
George Lucas must have been high on Meth when he casted this expressionless, underacting wooden log.
And to put him next to someone like Ewan McGregor for 2 whole films just makes it all the more painfully obvious how terrible this moron is.
Ah, I don't know. Dull surprise can be amusing in certain movies.
This movie should've been more true to dungeons and dragons by making a conversation that Dungeons and Dragons players probably would have! (But not exactly)
Ridley: "Can't I revive Snails with a magic revive spell?!"
Marie: "No, you'd have to either be a level 15 mage or a level 6 Wizard for that spell!"
Ridley: "Then how about brewing a revive potion or buying one?!"
Marie: "Level 13 alchemist..."
The Dwarf: "And besides, that'd be a waste of money on one of them!..."
The ignore his racism and carry on the conversation!
Ridley: "Then I'll steal one!"
Marie: "You're only a level 7 thief, you're not level 12 yet and they'd probably burn his corpse by then!"
In fact that'd be a better idea for a DnD movie, a comedy where they make jokes about the need to level up, characters walking around like: "Hey baby, I'm a level 12 warrior with +15 bartering skills!" and she says "Ooooh, sorry but you need +26 bartering skills just for me to acknowledge you as a fellow human being AND +35 attack strength for me to find you attractive!" And the effects would be great, it would also be one of those movies where you think "WOW, for a comedy these special effects are great!"
Ridley's player: "So if I take another level in rogue, I'll be able to pull off my first level of Arcane Trickster! Then my insane feat preparation will pay off to make me statistically 13% more eff-"
*SMACK*
Gamemaster: "This is roleplaying, not rollplaying, fuckface."
Since you all demanded it. 21:26 The All Quacking Choir!
Oh and in case if you want to find this one as well 9:15
"I'd have to put a feeblemind spell on myself to take you home!"
NC: "Uh... snap?"
Yeah, acutally. Any D&D player is thinking 'Ohh, want a Cure Light Wounds potion for that burn?'
Wait a minute... the dwarf has a red beard, uses an axe, is bumbling and comedic unless in a fight, and has a racist attitude towards elves...Holy crap, it's Gimli!
Holy crap, it's every stereotypical dwarf ever!
Cbclaw Yeah, but most people thinks of Gimli of the 7 Dwarves when they hear "dwarf."
Because most people aren't nerds.
I kind of thought that he looked like Simon from the YOGCAST.
oh, hi, Kahne! :3
Why didn't you make a joke about them needing the rod?
It seems that the people at New Line Cinema are specialists at wasting the money of great successes on crap. This movie used the proceeds from Austin Powers, and The Golden Compass used the proceeds from Lord of The Rings...
I'm sure its all a good money laundering scheme NYEHNYEHNYEH
I wouldn't call this a waste
Golden Compass was OK movie, probably not the masterpiece in anyone's eyes but definitely enjoyable - strong acting, interesting story and good visuals. Too bad catholic retards fucked its reputation, otherwise we'd definitely see the sequel to this overall entertaining movie.
Jokūbas Algimantas Turčakovas
What happened with it's reputation? O.O I've seen it and I've just heard around that the response was a 'meh'
26CLT
US Catholic League, which by the way still has waaaay to much influence there, labeled the movie as promoting atheism for children and urged catholics everywhere to boycott the movie (granted that brainwashing children with its ancient bullshit stories is OK). Although movie still did alright at box office, the plans for sequel crashed because they would have to be heavily censored which would make it impossible to make a decent movie. Plus, funding has been cut. It may have not turned out to be an all-time great, but I still fucking hate when a bunch of retards ruin good ideas just because of their own insecurities.
19:48 "Is NOW not the time we should ACT?"
"YES! PLEASE! START ACTING!!"
"It's the missing 7th dwarf, smelly."
Wouldn't he be the 8th dwarf not 7th?
Ikr
true
When they first announced at a Gen Con that this movie would be made, all the preview scenes made it looks promising; but then, they didn't show anyone acting either. Just the locations. A few months later when I heard it would have Wayans I knew the movie would suck.
I watched this movie for Jeremy Irons...just to make sure that there was one good actor in all this.
20:39
I was waiting for a Doctor Who reference, and boy did I get it.
13:52
And I came here for a Rocky Horror reference, and I'm now a happy person too.
I came here for Sanic :(
All I wanted was a "Coral blue number 5" joke in this. I waited for it.
This is my favorite review. I absolutely love Irons in this. He's so horrible, it's actually really entertaining and kinda adorable. :D
Exactly! In the final... CGI battle or... Whatever that atrocity was, I could hardly understand anything he said. xD But still love ♥Jeremy♥. :)
I think I know exactly of which ''Billy Zane'' you're talking about. It's that bald guy from ''The Mummy'', right? I thought it was him too, but that baldy is actually Arnold Vosloo. xD And this blue lipstick baldy is Bruce Payne. xDDD So it's two different baldies, and neither of 'em is Billy Zane. But people often confuse them for some reason. xDDDD
***** I think that Irons did this movie in return for a large check and a promise that they'd stop calling him. He's actually a very good actor - he was in a BBC television version of Henry IV in which he was superb. Sadly it's crap like D&D that pays the bills.
Didn't watch that show, but if it's BBC it has to be good, I'll check it out, thanks for recommendation.
Yeah, I agree with you, I've watched several of his films, and was never disappointed with his performance (even in this movie I love him :D).
But I am grateful this magnificent piece of crap is produced, Jeremy's overacting improved my mood countless of times and I'm glad if it's true what you say and he received a big pay check for this... Masterpiece. :)
***** Another large cheque and yet another promise to stop bothering him afterwards?
Kiara Macrae Thank you, dear mortal.
My god, this movie is like a poor man's Lord of the Rings.
Ironically this came out before the LotR movies. By the same movie company.
Number Nine lotr was in production at the same time this movie came out
John Doe Haha. Sure, keep telling yourself that.
Considering D&D was ripped directly from Lord of the Rings, is anyone surprised?
Dark Jedi it's the con-man's Lord of the Rings
I got to get my hands on whatever Jeremy Irons was on during the filming of this masterpiece!
Jeremy Irons sounds eerily like Richard Nixon in this movie. "I am not a crook"
25:22 and then they all traveled to dragon age origins to be in a world exactly like this one, but better written
Fun Fact: The Actress who plays Marina now plays Agent Brody on NCIS: New Orleans.
Then she has aged well, this thing must be around 20 years old and she still looks pretty awesome in NCIS NO
Doesn't hurt that she was like only 17 there.
DownForwardPunch Huh, s'what I get for trusting wikipedia.
11:36 That has to be the most Krogan-looking orc ever.
The obvious differentiation of accents that British are bad, Americans are good is constantly pissing me off.
kinda accurate, though
Christopher Smith Accurate how?
We do make good villians though.
Sexton Hardcastle That's racist.
+hunterkiller1440 It's not British bad, Americans Good. It's that the British accent used for the villains sounds suave, intellectual, and cultured, while an American accent is... none of those things.
If it was British Bad, Americans Good, more villains would have cockney accents.
How to not make a fantasy movie:
DONT CHOOSE THE GUY FROM SCARY MOVIE AS ONE OF YOUR MAIN CHARACTER.
Biggest laugh for me came from the Christmas card: "Please don't ask why his lipstick is smeared." Also loved "Joan of LARP".
Except how did he resist calling attention to Baldy's line, "NOW WHAT ABOUT MY HEAD?!"
the "dragon rods" look like rejected Keyblades
That's what I thought when I first saw them, only I was thinking "discount" instead of rejected. :)
To be fair, the sword fight at the end can be explained because Ridley is a THEIF, and in D&D lore I believe Thieves were never over experienced in sword combat, and were better at being stealthy. Oh, and yeah no. It didn't follow D&D lore at all, to be very honest.
Rogues do fight in swordfights, they often flank the enemy with the fighter or pally on the other side to boost attack rolls... Stealth just makes for a sneak attack or two until you turn to support and dps
Since when did dnd have lore? There are campaign settings like forgotten realms and such but everything else is left up to your discretion... There's tools to make any type of monster or weapon or setting if you can make it work. That being said this movie sucks ass.
Thank you suspicious tumbleweed. I am quite new to D&D and gladly accept your clarification on the subject. I apologize for all the information I got wrong.
Bald guy has no excuse though.
Suspicious Tumbleweed* Depends which edition of D&D you're using. In the early editions, Thieves didn't have sneak attacks, and although they were better than mages, they certainly weren't intended to fight alongside the Fighters to flank enemies. That was the job of the Cleric, who could wear heavy armour, and use a shield, just like the Fighter. (Or Paladins, Rangers and Crusaders, which were basically just variant Fighters anyway.)
Of course, that still doesn't explain Damodar....
Without doubt my absolute favourite review that Doug has ever done. It helps that I really like this movie.
I don't think you understand, this is making fun of the average D&D campaign. It isn't SUPPOSED to be good screenwriting, it's meant for a specific audience... and that is where the film failed. This movie is making fun of every hilariously shitty character stereotype, and that is why it's wonderful. I get that from a purely cinematic standpoint with no context, most people must hate this movie... but when you know what it's making fun of, you realize exactly how beautiful this movie actually is. Everything is perfect in doing what it does. The over-dramatic and slow evil minion is the goth guy who wears too much lipstick and gets way too into his character development (and being that big baddie's bitch), the guy who actually wants to play the game and is therefore the main character, the black friend who has a hard time staying in character, the guy who wants to just play the game's girlfriend (Mia), the DM's girlfriend playing the "HEY I'M A PLOT DEVICE" Elf, even the bad CGI dragons show the terrible descriptions that a lot of DMs give.The terrible story and rip-offs of many popular movies (the council from Star Wars, the temple/maze from Indiana Jones, etc.) are a thing that many people do in their games, which was another great spoof. This movie wasn't meant to be serious, though it does such a wonderful job of convincing unbeknownst audiences that have never played a table-top game that it is, which is in some ways a bad thing but for everyone who gets the joke, it is truly a work of art.
A DnD Campaign i played once consisted of a big ass lizardman that ate people, Dr. Girlfriend if she was a rogue, The six six string samurai (with a fender stratocaster), A paladin.... only person who actually got anything done, a druid who owned a horse that was smarter than him, and some other shitty rogue that who got bound with a monster made out of horsecrap, dirt, and 5 giant troll dicks (it was a prank we pulled on him cuz he pissed us off). Thats the DnD i know. (I was the lizardman because BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!)
Damn straight.
Sounds like a good one...nothing will ever beat the three-titted prostitue of doom though.
Earwaxrape .... dude ... that's the weirdest thing I ever heard.
Clearly you've never read 50 Shades of Gray
Brody Swantek I didn't mean most disgusting. Just the most bizzare :D
I kinda wanna read 50 shades of grey, even though it involves rape fantasy....
Let me give you some friendly advice. Don't read it :O its some creepy shit
That sounds like a low-budget, direct-to-dvd, horror movie.
EdSkywalker You mean the D&D movie? Well, it certainly wasn't low budget!
Actually, as far as fantasy movies go, it's wasn't half-bad. It was just that the story and dialogue were so badly written it was almost unbearable.
That Doctor Who joke was amazing
This film really was dire. Embarrassing that only 1 year separates this film and the first LotR film. You know the school project analogy Critic used in his Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog/Sonic SATAM comparison? Fits perfectly here.
+Yang Xiao Long
Hey, Yang! What you doing here? Where's Ruby?
Why does everyone forgot Blake and Weiss
+Yang Xiao Long How's the arm doing?
+Andrew Ellis Ouch, too soon man
RPGQueen87
Relax, she's getting a cyborg one next season, I bet. And, hopefully, beating Mercury to death with his own robo legs.
I sometimes root for the bad guys, but seriously, FUCK Cinder Fall and co.
Actually its Coral Blue number....
Whenever Jeremy is on screen I keep imagining an over the top scar😂
"BE PREPARED! YATATATATA"
As someone that played D&D, I can say that this film was shite and did not represent how awesome the game is at all.
I've never played it before and now I want to!
Yeah this was bad..
In a game that literally ANYTHING can happen, this movie had less creativity than a blank sheet of paper.
I recently started getting into D&D myself, sadly all of my friends live far apart. So we do everything Online, Do you know what that means?
Everything relies on the DM and players imagination.
And eventually our DM wanted to take a break so he taught me how to do all the stuff and I made a world for him and my other friends.
With a lot of my own Homebrew stuff.
I would Explain it all but... that would make this comment very...very..long.
but main point is that I added several races of animals. (fueled by my love of the Khajiit)
I made so many that I even included mythological ones such as this one.
Kitsune, Furry
+4 Wisdom -4 Dexerity
Medium Size 5,2
Humanoid (Furry)
Base land speed 25ft
+2 Racial bonus Will/Reflex/Fortitude bonus
Automatic Languages: Fox, Kitsune, Furry and Common. Bonus Languages: Common, Elven, Goblin, Orc.
Racial bonus, can use tails to throw multiple items up to 5ft. But, all tails count as 5 foot in range but subtract in weight. strength counts as a balance.
Can run 30ft once per week.
So, I'm just wondering how they made such a bland story. even out of the base story.
Being someone who also played D&D I can say this movie was shite also nice character designs, I too thought of the idea of putting skyrim races into D&D as skyrim lore seems like it wouldn't be to hard to put into D&D
TheOmegau
well this is a Kitsune which is a fox with nine tails. And since it is more human than animal those tails are a burden.
but I allow the character to move very fast using the tails but they make the character very tired.
Kaede Games Hmm. You seem to only be using base bits of the mythology though.
They were generally shapeshifters and tricksters. Also, something that's lived with a tail (or nine) for a long time would adjust to it.
There are a lot of different homebrew kitsune though. Still, taking the whole mythology and interpreting it your way would be more fun that just taking a furry, slapping a bunch of tails on it, and then giving it penalties for the tails when, as you've never had a tail, you wouldn't actually know if they would result in that.
1:44 that thing looks like a giant version of Hermione's Time Turner from "Harry Potter and the prisinor of Askaban".
+Lena Storm I just wanted to say that I love your profile picture. Merida is one of my favorite princesses.
Thank you. She is my favourite Disney Princess too!
+Lena Storm You see this film was predicting Harry Potter. That is why they filmed it at hogworts!
See, that's what happens when you try to have the two get the EXP by themselves, one of them inevitably dies and all that grinding for him is worthless.
I knew he have never played D&D from the second in which he started expecting dungeons and dragons to appear.
Admittedly there's usually multiple dungeons of one form or another in a DnD game XD
20:34 Oh my God, that Doctor Who reference made my day.
I honestly enjoyed his overacting
I still can't believe Tom Baker got roped into this shit.
Thora Birch, Tom Baker, Marlon Wayans and Jeremy Irons in a single movie. Even the casting in this is genuinely weird !
Loved the "Joan of LARP" pun. X-D
That dragon looks great!!! Man the PS2 was really ahead of its time.
I thought it was more along the lines of the Nintendo 64
I'm not defending this movie, but you're not always going into dungeons or fighting dragons in D&D...
An interesting and relevant comment to the source material! You temporarily gained +2 passive wisdom!
a perfect, I'm a druid as well.
I've always had more fun playing a big battle on the field. This one battle was really awesome though. We had this huge army of douches, as we called them, attack this village(haven't played in forever, can't remember the name of it) and we were outside the village while it was in the middle of being sieged. So we had to kill their general and eventually get in. Our archer kept picking off men until they broke through and started fighting off the soldiers. The archer saved this commander from certain doom, my character's father almost died, and we fought off the huge army
I used to respect Jeremy Irons. I MEAN C'MON! He voiced scar in Lion King, and he won an OSCAR for portraying a noble! Now I see this! Goddammit!
This movie follows D&D the game like about as well as a lazy cook looking at a picture of a pizza and then throwing together stuff that's makes it look similar but is completely wrong and terrible; using hard tac for the crust, ketchup for the sauce, and if ketchup is normal lets put on some mustard for "wow" factor, coconut shavings instead of cheese because, hey, they're both white; sliced bologna for meat, because we saw something in the picture that looked like meat, and bologna is a meat, so it's completely correct, and serving it on a LP record of Beethoven's 5th because we heard you like to rock out when eating your pizza things. The makers of this movie spent all of 2 minutes looking at pictures of D&D books and then threw together the most insulting patronizing garbage imaginable. They might as well asked your high school lunch lady to make this movie. The one with the accent but shouldn't have an accent because she's from the same place as you. We all had that lady making our lunches and wondering how you can constantly get a hamburger wrong in so many ways. It's like your grandfather seeing how excited you were watching a trailer for a Disney movie, so he goes out and buys you a DVD of nothing but Disney movie trailers. As someone who used to play D&D, I felt the need to quit just to spite the movie somehow.
No, this follows D&D more like a lazy cook looking at a picture of a pizza and then taking a watery shit on a plate and serving that instead.
The Critic MUST review the other two Dungeons & Dragons movies. He REALLY should.
Words on Wayans Wheel are:
Damon
Shawn
Keene
Marlon
Prancer
Tito
Dopey
Kim
Incredible that Lord of the Rings came from this same studio only a year after this trainwreck was released.
"This is sounding like a cheat code to a Nintendo game!"
No, Critic! That would be Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.
RED Soldier That's Konami.
***** That's the joke. The "Konami Code" is one of the most famous cheat codes in video game history.
RED Soldier yay 30 lifes
+metal slug Yippee!
*dies on first level*
The plot of the Dungeons & Dragons movie, if tweaked a little, would make a great campaign. A society where mages form the elite, one mage wanting to overthrow his/her ruler, and a relic that will grant victory to its holder--all that along with many dice rolls would be a real adventure.
Granted, it was Courtney Solomon's directorial debut, and license-holders and investors did interfere with the production. Plus, an older screenplay was used when a more updated version better suited for the film had been written.
I'd play a game of that... It would last like 2 hours but i would play it.
Randomchallenger
With how much the lethality went up in 5e, it could last longer.
Plus, think about it. Profion is a powerful wizard, "Baldy Blue-Lips" is a strong fighter, Ridley is an amateur thief, Marlon (don't remember his character's name, plus he's pretty much being himself) is an unlucky thief, not-Gimli is a dwarf barbarian, and Hot Magical Girl is an apprentice wizard.
In the Dragon Age world, this world would be a Templars worst nightmare
This movie is watchable for one reason, Jeremy Irons.
For years I was trying to place a scene I saw when younger of a dragon being crushed to death by a wall. This was it. Years of searching ended. Thankyou. Now if only my younger self had better taste in movies.
I wonder if Jeremy Irons was told by the director of this movie to give an over-the-top performance or if he decided to crank the ham up to eleven himself.
And is it just me or does Damodar's soldiers look like the Mythic Dawn assassins from Oblivion?
Dear God, this is like a Uwe Boll-Videogame adaptation, made years before those were even a thing!
Only funnier!
This is more Ed Woodish
20:24 That healing joke was funny.
I went and bought this movie off of Amazon because of Doug's review. Best $10 I ever spent.
I fucking loved Jeremy Irons in this movie. Definitely the only redeeming quality of the movie.
You can see the blue lip guy start to smile at 22:58 lol :)
I can't help but absolutely adore Jeremy Irons for his atrocious acting in this. He deserves to have some fun.
I'm surprised that a Blue Steel joke was avoided.
I lost it at the goose part! :D
I'M NOT!
XD
Am I the only one that was waiting for Mel Brooks to come out in the opening sequence and start singing about the Inquisition?
Also, I kinda liked Snails.
***** EVERYONE EXPECTED THE SPANISH INQUISITION
they actually sent a letter notifing the villages weeks before they were coming.
Oh My God There Was Way Too Much Ham In That Actor, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
This is the first Nostalgia Critic I ever watched. It got me hooked on Doug's stuff, and it's funny as hell.
Ichiban, Lipstick for men
11:35 holy shit!! krogans?
Oh my God, after reading your comment, I began to hear Prothean insted of Profian, or whatever his name was
Ростислав Несисюк Now I'm imagining Irons saying: ''Dumbledore, I mean Damodar, da dragons are coming'' with Javick's accent.
Hmm, Jeremy Irons as a villain in this dragon movie, then as one of the heroes in Eragon. Pretty cool.
Damodar always smiles when Jeremy Irons goes crazy in his acting. I think he's enjoying it as much as me.
I guess Snails made his saving throw.
Are you kidding? That campaign was so short they're lv 5 at the very most.
***** We fought a DRAGON at Level 2...
So more like Level 2....
Necra Mancie was it a uranium dragon?
Eon2641 It was a Red Dragon, I think. Been a while since we killed it; we're like, Lv 10+ now.
So does Jeremy Irons get eaten in every movie hes in?
Well that's a new spin on the Jeremy irons cereal joke.
So is that a yes?
SpeedyakaLeah yes, yes it does.
Margin Call, Inland Empire, Casanova, Kingdom of Heaven, The Merchant of Venice, The Man in the Iron Mask, The Lion King and M. Butterfly to name a few.
Yes, I am exceptionally fun at parties.
The only thing Jeremy Irons has been eaten by is his movie career.
My feelings on this one are mixed. On one hand--it really is a terrible movie, but terrible in a way that's entertaining. This is the kind of movie you could throw in and enjoy while tearing through a couple of six packs with a buddy or even use to construct a drinking game. It's horrible, but enjoyable at the same time, in my opinion. As it pertains to its source material? Eh. I mean, the thing about D&D is that it's all about imagination and storytelling. This movie didn't really try to emulate a particular campaign setting, at least not to my knowledge. I mean, yeah, they threw in some references by naming a few spells, vague mention of some elements, featuring a few cameos of a couple of enchanted items, and I think there was a scene involving a Beholder--but it really wasn't trying to adapt a particular story or setting such as The Forgotten Realms, Eberron, or Ravenloft. This, to me, seemed very much akin to a custom written campaign setting thrown together by a novice Dungeon Master--the kid that may have been playing D&D for a couple of years, has the passion and creativity, but just has no real DMing experience and isn't a particularly good writer. So, he drew inspiration from the classic tales and adventures with which he grew-up (in this case, I'm referring to the maze sequence I feel was paying homage to Indiana Jones more so than just shamelessly ripping it off) and obviously added in some elements from preexisting campaign settings.
As a D&D veteran who's been playing consistently for the past fourteen years (of course, that's nothing compared to how long some of the OG Rpers have been playing as I'm certain there's still a great many of yous guys that have been around since the original white box set--much respect), I do see the quirky charm of this film. It's not the most original story and it's definitely laden with flaws, but when you consider the source material, it could have been far worse. Now, had this movie attempted to cover a well established campaign setting I think I would have liked it far less. As a movie, it's pretty bad, but as a story? It's not a complete slight against humanity. I mean, this is pretty much a starter campaign for new players. I wouldn't recommend that this film be used as a proper introduction to Dungeons & Dragons, but for those who've chucked a few d20 in their day, it might be good for a chuckle or two. My take on it, anyway.
What a disasterpiece
4:05 performance issues, one out of five.
this movie on its own is nothing special, but it's hammy and cheesy enough to get a good laugh at, for sure.
one thing I'll keep defending to the death however is the music. the suite for this movie is shiveringly beautiful.
God, listening to Jeremy Irons, all I can hear is Scar.