To put it simply, it’s not infatuation or crush! It’s the obsession with an idealized version of this person in your mind! So really you want a relationship with the idea of this person and often the idealized version you have of this person and who this person really is are absolutely different!! Anxiously or insecurely attached persons are prone to limerance. Often due to lack of consistency with which love was shown to you growing up
At this point, the feature with Jason and Dushy should be a season because the chemistry is off the chains and Dushy just has amazing insights, been following her for a while and yes she’s been so underrated, because that girl is a MOVEMENT all by her lovely self.
I must say these episodes need to be longer, it does feel like the conversations could be expored more. And yes, I definetly want Jayson and Dushy back again, their chemistry is so good with you guys
This episode is unbelievably beautiful. The four of you blended into an amazing cocktail. Jay and Dushi should be permanent members!!!! Please let them come again and again. I could listen to this all day. I have been both a resident and a president of Limerence!!!
I think the internet is making us overcomplicate things and find all kinds of terms for things. When Sharon said ‘girl date’ to me I was like that is dinner 😅 Maybe with someone you don’t know well enough who happens to be a girl. The excitement was cute. ☺️ I love this podcast.
This conversation made me realize limerence could also exist between friendships as well.And it is sometimes hard for one to realize they are actually experiencing it.
Wueeeeeeh!!! This episode has my mind blown!!!! No more Limuru vibes for sure...Now i have to follow Dushy on socials. She is just radiating good vibes.
A show that comes to mind that best describes the "realistic side of love" would be Normal People. I always say this was so beautifully written and a must watch. Loved this episode!
Yoooooooooo... Finally someone said what I've always thought. " Everyone was there but nobody paid attention to that" so basically you were orphaned at an early age only your parents are alive. So you have been grieving but you can't allow yourself to outright grieve... Because they are alive and they provided everything. But no one was really there to provide the love and emotional support you needed. Especially as a sensitive child... Since what is okay for the rest of the family members barely scratched the surface for you. So you keep wondering what up with you... But really so much of your fundamental needs have never been met. So the sting of people who can't love you the way you need to be loved keep locating you with their tea spoon to your cup requirement.
Truly enjoyed this episode. I went through all the wxperiences talked about. Im the same age as you guys and im doing therapy. Discovered so much from therapy that u talked about. More of this please.
You guys you can post longer videos since this is a podcast. You always seem to run out of time when the conversation is at it's peak or is getting juicier😅 Some of us listen to 2 hr podcasts. Or do part 1 or 2 or 3 if time is the issue
one - the thing that happened at 6:05 an it's the universe being awesome two - 15:39 shazzo's thing about girl dates reminded me of sth my sister said, that women should do platonic, romantic stuff together (not romantic as in I want to be w you, but like I really like you as a friend romantic) and I love it..
Its very hard to be loved by just being, love in itself is you said is a doing word, so you would have to show up in different ways for the person you love and vice versa. So essentially they will love you for who you are in terms of how you express your love for them, not just by words but also by the way you speak their love language. TBH i don't think you could love or be loved by just being.
I feel like the (real) definition of limerence was missed in this episode, which is an obsession or infatuation of someone you can't have, and one who may be doesn't even know you exist. My first time hearing of this concept was through this video by Crappy Childhood Fairy - th-cam.com/video/jdHDvHbdfZs/w-d-xo.htmlsi=uLsbVmrHzVbC718Y. Great episode, nonetheless. Sharon, I'm always here for your fashion style! 😍
Yes yes yes. I’ve experienced it even with strangers on social media where i hyper fixate on them obsessively and it feels uncontrollable. The essence of limerence wasn’t fully captured here because it literally is a horrible experience.
with limerence, the object of your desire doesn't reciprocate the feeling of wanting the. It becomes this one sided thing where you love, want this person to an obsessive point but they do not share the same and no matter how loud and subtly they communicate this you feelings still stay in wanting. It can be with someone who you aren't in a relationship with, like a crush or even with someone you are with but the feelings are mostly one sided.
Love the video.. I love the friendships... But Maybe there needs to be editing? Too many diversions from the conversation .. (Too many) Loved the video..
This was so beautiful so honest bring the back for the next.is it just me or do I feel like jay and dushi should just stay here forever and ma the other half of it's related I promise
Jeeeez! I've come across this topic at the right time, i think i need to chill out about what am really feeling about this person coz for sure i have the signs of limerence
Ah, limerence... The feeling of being madly in love, accompanied by the obsessive need to possess the person and have them reciprocate the love the same way. It's a roller coaster. If the object of limerence seems to feel the same way, you'll be in absolute, nonsensical ecstasy. If the object of limerence shows a slight change in their feelings (even if they're irritated at their own thing), you will spiral with intense fear and jealousy. Some people even feel physically sick if they sense they are being rejected. They will do anything to get back to the feeling of ecstasy. It can take over their lives. Also, the person in limerence cannot see the obvious flaws in the object of their limerence. They can't even see how the person is wrong for them. There's no telling how long it can last, but limerence always ends - no one can survive it forever. Sometimes, when it ends and you wake up, you might even find yourself intensely disliking the person you were once obsessed with. For this reason, limerence is especially devastating in marital affairs, especially if someone upends their whole life, only to wake up from it one day and wonder what the hell they were thinking.
Im so triggered by this whole conversation, i was the president of limuru broke it off and i just got out of a situation being the resident of limuru and i had to call myself for a talk juu hee there is a lot to work on😢
The conversation was as always amaizing but I can't stand how @Jules talks over the guests and hijacks the conversation. I just wish the guests could be allowed to talk more and not be interrupted. I love you guys sana. Keep up with the good conversations.❤
Great conversation. I would like to add that one can also experience limerence towards someone you don’t know personally e.g with a celebrity. Where it transcends the usual crush but one develops an intense obsession with a celebrity,thinking about them constantly,collecting info about them and fantasizing about a relationship with them yet you have no relationship with them neither do they know you exist.Key word is obsessive.
Y'all might find Dorothy Tennov's "Love and Limerence" (1979) interesting. She interviews anonymous people who give personal accounts to provide insight into the emotional state, its' impact on relationships, personal well-being as well as its' behavioural and psychological aspects. Turns out, limerence could keep you in its' throes for years or even decades🫨(tena on the same person/object) and it doesn't have to be romantic either. Anyway, if I ever live to tell the tale, I'll be on a one-woman mission to corner Jules and demand a spot on "sothisislove." The world awaits my wisdom! Mniombee😂
It comes from a place of a wound and emptiness .....that relationship comes from an illusion without a relationship YOU ARE NOT COMPLETE .......creating the insecurities and anxieties . I have been president and a resident of limuru😂😂 . Looove the 4 of you together ❤
I have watched three vidz from this podcast and you have officially gained a new subscriber. I love the realness of the conversations in this space. Also, you guys mnashouuut😪
Love is a choice, limerence isn't!! technically, you can choose to be with the person you are "infatuated" with. If it's reciprocal, then you can choose to "love" them. The moral of these comments is simply to tell you, love yourself enough so that in case you find yourself in a limerence mood, you are able to make the right choice. You can't avoid attraction, but you can choose to just appreciate and move.
MBONA MNAIVA IVI!! 😭😭 Gaaaaai!! Y'all look fly.....na muache kutupea video za 1 hour...PERSONALLY I WANT TO HAVE YOU IN MY EARS MINIMUM 8 HOURS (coz truly something must get me through my 8-5 🥲)
![ปฏิเสธไม่ไหว (Crush on you) - LIPTA feat. No One Else [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NBw1jF342vw/mqdefault.jpg)
Jason and Dushy should be in all episodes 😊
Couldn't agree more
To put it simply, it’s not infatuation or crush! It’s the obsession with an idealized version of this person in your mind! So really you want a relationship with the idea of this person and often the idealized version you have of this person and who this person really is are absolutely different!! Anxiously or insecurely attached persons are prone to limerance. Often due to lack of consistency with which love was shown to you growing up
Thank you so much for this!
Well❤w2ww ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😂😂❤😂❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Petition to have Dushy and Jay around permanently please 🥺..... Brings so much diverse energy and perspectives to the pod. Thanks in advance please😂
At this point, the feature with Jason and Dushy should be a season because the chemistry is off the chains and Dushy just has amazing insights, been following her for a while and yes she’s been so underrated, because that girl is a MOVEMENT all by her lovely self.
Thank you 🙏🏾
I must say these episodes need to be longer, it does feel like the conversations could be expored more. And yes, I definetly want Jayson and Dushy back again, their chemistry is so good with you guys
This episode is unbelievably beautiful. The four of you blended into an amazing cocktail. Jay and Dushi should be permanent members!!!! Please let them come again and again. I could listen to this all day. I have been both a resident and a president of Limerence!!!
So glad you enjoyed it!
This was honestly a combo we never knew we needed❤...this was so deep i looooved it...we want the 4 of you more....
Ok, Jules you’ll need to have an episode on STIL on how art broke your heart😂💔🎨🖌️
I think the internet is making us overcomplicate things and find all kinds of terms for things. When Sharon said ‘girl date’ to me I was like that is dinner 😅 Maybe with someone you don’t know well enough who happens to be a girl. The excitement was cute. ☺️ I love this podcast.
This conversation made me realize limerence could also exist between friendships as well.And it is sometimes hard for one to realize they are actually experiencing it.
Absolutely!
Oh my days, i was in a limerence situation and let me tell you.....I've never felt this free, thank you for bringing this to light 🥰
Take home note…. Allow myself to be loved without doing the most …. #being I am worthy of that 😍😍🥰
Period 💅🏾
Jules and the brain design and how we get stuck in a loop!!!!????? Pls Pls, this podcast was MINE today!
Wueeeeeeh!!! This episode has my mind blown!!!! No more Limuru vibes for sure...Now i have to follow Dushy on socials. She is just radiating good vibes.
She’s the best 😌😌
Thank you 🙏🏾
When dushy talked about chocking to your own boundaries to the point you cant love!!!phew chile😮💨
Self love is the beginning of everything!! ❤❤❤ I love this episode and it resonates so much with me. Gotta do better..Thanks guys!!!
The moment I found out about the word limerence and googled it. I healed from wanting closure and explanations from them
Listen....Dushy sign me up for the curating friendship list!!
This was actually a much needed episode
First of all the quality of this video is stunning! Such beautiful people in and out. Love is such a hot topic and learned so much. Thank you all!
Fantastic episode!!!!! Graceful, beautiful, fun and the self awareness levels…. thank you guys!!! ❤
The production quality on this episode ?? WOOOW ! Good job ladies !
A show that comes to mind that best describes the "realistic side of love" would be Normal People. I always say this was so beautifully written and a must watch. Loved this episode!
Jason and Dushy I’ve enjoyed your episodes so much❤️ Julia and Shazo good job!
“Resident of Limuru” love this! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Dushy and Jay are giving me LIFE.
the "we waithera you have done too much work" had me on the floor
Yoooooooooo... Finally someone said what I've always thought. " Everyone was there but nobody paid attention to that" so basically you were orphaned at an early age only your parents are alive. So you have been grieving but you can't allow yourself to outright grieve... Because they are alive and they provided everything. But no one was really there to provide the love and emotional support you needed. Especially as a sensitive child... Since what is okay for the rest of the family members barely scratched the surface for you. So you keep wondering what up with you... But really so much of your fundamental needs have never been met. So the sting of people who can't love you the way you need to be loved keep locating you with their tea spoon to your cup requirement.
Truly enjoyed this episode. I went through all the wxperiences talked about. Im the same age as you guys and im doing therapy. Discovered so much from therapy that u talked about. More of this please.
💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
You guys you can post longer videos since this is a podcast. You always seem to run out of time when the conversation is at it's peak or is getting juicier😅 Some of us listen to 2 hr podcasts. Or do part 1 or 2 or 3 if time is the issue
I agree. It's always the juicy part 😂
one - the thing that happened at 6:05 an it's the universe being awesome
two - 15:39 shazzo's thing about girl dates reminded me of sth my sister said, that women should do platonic, romantic stuff together (not romantic as in I want to be w you, but like I really like you as a friend romantic) and I love it..
This is so beautiful, am loving the shows
Its very hard to be loved by just being, love in itself is you said is a doing word, so you would have to show up in different ways for the person you love and vice versa. So essentially they will love you for who you are in terms of how you express your love for them, not just by words but also by the way you speak their love language. TBH i don't think you could love or be loved by just being.
I feel like the (real) definition of limerence was missed in this episode, which is an obsession or infatuation of someone you can't have, and one who may be doesn't even know you exist. My first time hearing of this concept was through this video by Crappy Childhood Fairy - th-cam.com/video/jdHDvHbdfZs/w-d-xo.htmlsi=uLsbVmrHzVbC718Y. Great episode, nonetheless. Sharon, I'm always here for your fashion style! 😍
Yes yes yes.
I’ve experienced it even with strangers on social media where i hyper fixate on them obsessively and it feels uncontrollable.
The essence of limerence wasn’t fully captured here because it literally is a horrible experience.
Tf !! So two years down the line, have been in a limerance coated as love "understanding partner"😢 what a time to get this clarity 😮
Weuh 😮💨😮💨😮💨 drink some water first
@@ItsRelatedIPromise😅😅😅
When you are in Limerance you can even pay their bills 🤡
with limerence, the object of your desire doesn't reciprocate the feeling of wanting the. It becomes this one sided thing where you love, want this person to an obsessive point but they do not share the same and no matter how loud and subtly they communicate this you feelings still stay in wanting. It can be with someone who you aren't in a relationship with, like a crush or even with someone you are with but the feelings are mostly one sided.
They should be in all episodes now😄😄
Right? 😌😌
Bring ‘em back! 🙌🏽
Jules taking over the entire episode😂😂😂😂, as usual
so we decided limerence is a mouthful!!! okay LIMURU it is🤣
😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂
Love the video.. I love the friendships...
But Maybe there needs to be editing?
Too many diversions from the conversation .. (Too many)
Loved the video..
I feel like that's the point of this podcast, hence the name
This was so beautiful so honest bring the back for the next.is it just me or do I feel like jay and dushi should just stay here forever and ma the other half of it's related I promise
🥹🥹🥹
Great conversation, however one person constantly over talking others needs kidogo prunning😁 (minute 28.26)
Jeeeez! I've come across this topic at the right time, i think i need to chill out about what am really feeling about this person coz for sure i have the signs of limerence
The tingle in my jingles 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 goodness
We want Jason and Dushy back!!!
They’ll be back sooner than you know it
Wah love ina mambo mob ATI limerance.
Great insights on limerence... ❤
Thank you 😊😊
💡💡💡💡 moments here
I oftenly reasonate with Jules
Being love for just being *drop mic*
The editing today 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Ah, limerence... The feeling of being madly in love, accompanied by the obsessive need to possess the person and have them reciprocate the love the same way. It's a roller coaster. If the object of limerence seems to feel the same way, you'll be in absolute, nonsensical ecstasy. If the object of limerence shows a slight change in their feelings (even if they're irritated at their own thing), you will spiral with intense fear and jealousy.
Some people even feel physically sick if they sense they are being rejected. They will do anything to get back to the feeling of ecstasy. It can take over their lives. Also, the person in limerence cannot see the obvious flaws in the object of their limerence. They can't even see how the person is wrong for them.
There's no telling how long it can last, but limerence always ends - no one can survive it forever. Sometimes, when it ends and you wake up, you might even find yourself intensely disliking the person you were once obsessed with. For this reason, limerence is especially devastating in marital affairs, especially if someone upends their whole life, only to wake up from it one day and wonder what the hell they were thinking.
Oh, and if anyone seems to be coming between you and the object of your limerence, you tend to vilify them and turn on them.
Awesome breakdown
Sharon how did you not know Julia’s best colour and I did 😂😂😂😂😂😂( I am here to troll😂😂😂😂) … we overtwentyfiv OGs knew this
😂😂😂
Jules was on something else this episode
What's with the Rush, is it illegal to go past one hour?
Maybe they pay the crew by the hour?
Or they’ve reserved the space for a limited time which is a paid resource.
Guys why am I crying,, I am sooo triggered!!
🥹🥹 it’s tough
They shud be part of the podcast❤
You all look stunning, love your guest ❤
Im so triggered by this whole conversation, i was the president of limuru broke it off and i just got out of a situation being the resident of limuru and i had to call myself for a talk juu hee there is a lot to work on😢
This is my fifth year of horrendous suffering
Best Episode ever !!!!
Thank you !! 😊😊
Is Dushy a 1st born daughter? I'd love to know after she said she felt she needed to be performative in a relationship in order to be loved..
Well well, this video just about healed my heartbreak 😅😅😅😅
Could you please share thr link to Dushy's movie review podcast?
amazing topic!! but jules babe you keep taking over everyone and cutting them short🙂🙂
Bring the guests back please
Absolutely!
Dushy and Jayson should move in here...They are home.
I have love,... loved these last 2 episodes.❤ 🇺🇬🇺🇬
Jules hobby is fostering cats
😂😂
wueh...I also felt shouted at by the limerance tik tok.
The conversation was as always amaizing but I can't stand how @Jules talks over the guests and hijacks the conversation. I just wish the guests could be allowed to talk more and not be interrupted. I love you guys sana. Keep up with the good conversations.❤
You know the vibes 🎉
So are Jason and Dushy going to be permanent......yeeeee . I like them. Jules I buy books that I never read too....😂 didn't know it was a thing
Lol, we just love them so much so they keep coming back!
Reading is one hobby and buying the books is a whole 'nother hobby 😂 .Not to be confused
" you won't ever read a book until it is ready to be read" until then, buy them. It is okay 😅
Great conversation.
I would like to add that one can also experience limerence towards someone you don’t know personally e.g with a celebrity. Where it transcends the usual crush but one develops an intense obsession with a celebrity,thinking about them constantly,collecting info about them and fantasizing about a relationship with them yet you have no relationship with them neither do they know you exist.Key word is obsessive.
Not knowing how to love just by being.
Y'all might find Dorothy Tennov's "Love and Limerence" (1979) interesting. She interviews anonymous people who give personal accounts to provide insight into the emotional state, its' impact on relationships, personal well-being as well as its' behavioural and psychological aspects.
Turns out, limerence could keep you in its' throes for years or even decades🫨(tena on the same person/object) and it doesn't have to be romantic either.
Anyway, if I ever live to tell the tale, I'll be on a one-woman mission to corner Jules and demand a spot on "sothisislove." The world awaits my wisdom! Mniombee😂
I screamed😂😂😂😂😂 ju i have been thinking about this
It comes from a place of a wound and emptiness .....that relationship comes from an illusion without a relationship YOU ARE NOT COMPLETE .......creating the insecurities and anxieties .
I have been president and a resident of limuru😂😂 .
Looove the 4 of you together ❤
Can you send the link of the tiktok please
Hey, it’s in the description 👌🏾
I have watched three vidz from this podcast and you have officially gained a new subscriber. I love the realness of the conversations in this space. Also, you guys mnashouuut😪
Love is a choice, limerence isn't!! technically, you can choose to be with the person you are "infatuated" with. If it's reciprocal, then you can choose to "love" them. The moral of these comments is simply to tell you, love yourself enough so that in case you find yourself in a limerence mood, you are able to make the right choice. You can't avoid attraction, but you can choose to just appreciate and move.
This is real
IRIP😢😢 triggered resident
Kwa hii episode mnashout sana. I don't like it😂
The resident over and over again
Wueh is all I can say😂
😮💨😮💨😮💨
I relate
limuru🤪
Is Jayson Gay
True, I agree!! Reviewing and visiting restaurants is a hobby.
🍽️🤤🫶🏿❤️
MBONA MNAIVA IVI!! 😭😭 Gaaaaai!! Y'all look fly.....na muache kutupea video za 1 hour...PERSONALLY I WANT TO HAVE YOU IN MY EARS MINIMUM 8 HOURS (coz truly something must get me through my 8-5 🥲)
Listening to you guys has really helped me to look into myself.
🫶🏾🫶🏾