lol Never wrong even when caught red-handed, and are outraged when you don't accept their reasoning. They're incapable of a genuine apology, because you're either not worthy or they simply have nothing to apologise for, because it's YOUR fault. They are animals.
3rk4u Or something they benefit from like a new cooker or fridge that the suffering wife wanted. "We'll go out at the weekend and get you the new cooker you wanted, yes?"
The Covert types can be tough to spot , displaying none of the, "look at me" traits and are agreeable, kind and polite. When the mask drops, those negative traits are on full display, selfish, controlling, manipulative and looking for a fight.
The most brilliant talk on the subject, so far. Every fact reveals the bitter truth. Hope this video helps many kind hearted victims in lifting the mask off the Narcs in their lives.
I found this video very helpful especially since I'm an empath who's been dealing with a narcissist friend for several years now and I'm tired of being taken constant advantage of. I only saw her true colors recently when her mask came off and I saw the ugly person underneath. I am cutting all ties with her and that isn't as easy as it seems but thanks to some great tips from Prof. Richard Hill, I am confident that I can now severe all ties quickly and painlessly and finally say goodbye to a not so great friend.
+Alice Kizas Good for you! It takes a lot of doing to recognize them. They wear a lot of masks and are socially quite successful. After all, they're what I call "psychic vampires". Other's peoples attentions, whatever, ...love, friendship, again, whatever, are FOOD for them. They are the center of the universe, and others only rotate around them. - But watch out, these personality disorders can have a vicious angry side if you "hold up the mirror" to them. Congratulations on your insight. - And, you escape!
This was one of the best elucidations on the subject that I've ever come across. So many blogs come across as rants and put-downs of the narcissist but I guess that's a by-product of the form. Anyway, this was very helpful, calm and funny and appropriately sobering as well. Thank you!
Their final outcome is of divine proportions. They become complete irreversible failures and lose virtually everything. They live their life with their heads hanging low and a tear in their eye. Still, not one can ever be trusted or interacted with in any form, as they will never change.
And this is the saddest truth. I think at some point we may find a fix for this terrible defect in the brain. Their life sucks worse then what they cause to their victims, as impossible as it may seem. As long as the "victim" (I use this term loosely, because the narcissist does not at all understand what they do is wrong and fear that notion in general. They do not actually want to hurt in the sense we think about) moves on. The whole thing is such an incredibly fucked up mess up that I'm surprised this isn't top priority in the neurological societies and sciences. The brain is complex though, hard to figure out how to fix something like that.
This is fascinating . It is hard sometimes not to get angry with the narcissist when they are aggressive towards you, which in turn creates the drama they are wanting , a chance to hurt you more , but a terrible outcome for yourself if you do become angry ,wears you down , physical injuries as well as emotional . Thank you , you have made a few things clearer in the understanding of not only how to react to this destructive form of abuse but also how to spot it .
This. In my youth, I was a doormat and I think my narcissistic mother had literally been trying for 18+ years to get my anger out. And when it did, she called me all kinds of names, called me heartless and anything else. She was never physical, for some reason she knew better, but that just put me on edge thinking that some time it was going to happen, which is pretty terrible too. People often underestimate the pain of mental abuse, which all narcissists do, if not adding physical into the mix :/
I don't know if it's just me, but I'm starting to notice dark triad personalities more and more. Years back this type of thing wasn't really a big deal. Now you see more people acting selfish and in vain. What's the deal about people thinking they're special when most haven't done anything special? I believe we all should be happy, and think we deserve the best in life, but some people get carried away and think they're better than others. They step over other people's boundaries. Seriously we're all Human beings with the same needs and wants. You're telling me the President is better than you because of his title? No, he has a job, a role, but this doesn't imply he's a greater human being than you. This is how Narcissists think. The ego believes he or she has entitlement and is superior for mostly idiotic reasons. Don't let them make you feel inferior, and don't make others feel inferior either. Let's be rational and caring.
Most neutral vid on NPD yet. Thank you. As one with it, I appreciate the clinical, therefore compassionate gaze on this maligned phenomenon. Do not reject education, lest ye fall victim to your own ignorance.
I'm a 17 you old man, I'm a narc, but a lazy one at that, this leads to low self esteem and a shitty life. I must, must, must, must, must change my ways and become rich.
I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend because I know she will never have a successful relationship and when children are thrown into that equation she will get dynamically worse and their will be more narcissistic rages as the children wont be giving her the Supply she is desperately addicted to. I told her in the last year of my relationship that I have never diagnosed anyone for 10 years after my first girlfriend of 5 years was psychologist and I rejected the field but after having witessed the absolute consistency of the diagnoses when it comes to this case of NPD, the uniformity of traits experienced by every victim of NPD partners, as though everyone had the same partner, I just had to let it out and inform her of what it is, that cold dull pain in her life. I know she will never go get help, openly confessing her suspected condition, so I feel sad remembering her, wondering how she is today. From from victim to the next, never building any deep meaningful relationships will always be alone. And I didnt want her to be alone. I saw the other side of her fleetingly sometimes, but I guess I was wrong.
There seems to be a lot of negative comments about narcissists 'can't change'. Everyone can change and you have to understand that these people have been raised this way, it's not their fault, it's a coping mechanism, a way of overcoming pain or neglect. If you want to change a narcissist, I doubt it would be easy at all, but I would definitely say it's possible. In the video R.Hill says that narcissists always switch from extremes never finding that centre point and sticking to it. So maybe a way to combat this is to hold an extreme yourself and keep to that extreme, until the narcissist is familiar with the extreme. Once the narcissist is well introduced to it, switch to the opposite extreme and hold that extreme until the narcissist is familiar with the behaviour. After that return back to your normal self which should be around the normal levels of behaviour. This could maybe give the narcissist an impression of what they are doing wrong, without actually confronting the narcissist and putting yourself at risk. Another problem with narcissists is they feel no empathy, so maybe a way of combatting this is to be extremely empathic yourself while around them and this could possibly reboot them. **These are just ideas though it's quite possible that trying these things could possibly anger a narcissist, if they catch on, so I'd be cautious.** Also I am not a therapist so these ideas are, I guess, just ideas, that could possibly work or maybe won't work at all. But if it's a family member who is a narcissist then they might be handy.
D. j.S When you haven't had first hand experience with a particular problem, the solution may seem simple. However, as well intentioned as you might be in offering a suggestion on how to help the Narcissist, I suspect all you have done is show how the average person has no clue to the perverted character of the Narc, and how totally committed they are to their delusions. Have you read any of the stories that "survivors" here have shared? Your suggestion is like asking someone to balance on one leg during an earthquake....an earthquake that never stops. These people struggle to maintain their own sanity in response to the Narc's manipulated behaviour, so suggesting they try and manipulate their responses to try and balance out the Narcissist is not feasible. Remember how in this lecture Richard Hill says that underneath the grandiosity & delusions there is an extremely fragile person? For these people, they are deathly afraid of being exposed as incompetent or as failures. Like you, I don't like to think of anyone being impossible to help, however it comes down to the choice of the individual. And the likelihood of them choosing a path toward healing when they are 110% invested in proving they don't have any problem makes change highly unlikely. If you're interested, you'll find another documentary on Facebook on Egomaniacs which may help you understand the depth of the problem.
Well that's your opinion, my opinion is you give a shit about someone and help them get over their society created problems and with a lot of hard-work, attention and awareness an individual begins to improve, no longer is the individual trapped in the box people like you put them in! People can change, people do change. The only reason my idea isn't very viable is because it would require another individual that hasn't been affected by narcissism in such a way, to put in 100% of their time to help the individual until they aren't as extreme, basically a saint, not impossible, just difficult.
D. j.S If you're thinking that I don't care, you're wrong. The problem is if you care about a person's problems more than they do, sooner or later you will burn out. I asked earlier, have you read any other the survivor's stories here in the comments? Have you watched any of the documentaries about Narcissism, such as the one I recommended? As much as it's good to hold to the view that anyone can change (which I think is true 99.999% of the time) whether a person wants to change is another matter entirely. Most people, even with minor problems like, they don't manage their finances well, eat/drink/smoke too much, watch TV too much etc struggle to actually want to change even though they know they should. Then how do you help the person who denies having a problem....who sees themselves as the only good person and everyone is stupid, or useless, and vastly inferior? For them to want to listen to anything you said they'd have to respect your opinion first of all. And they don't respect anyone. Well meaning people can use up a lot of time & energy trying to transfer their desire for another person to change without actually achieving anything except hurting themselves and making the other person more stubbornly attached to their problem. This is the essence of co-dependency which is another huge problem in society as a whole. And (since you seemed to so easily get upset by my gentle attempt to suggest your view lacked substance) I'm thinking you would last about 1 day with a Narcissist before you ended up a blubbering mess. But...as you pointed out, that's just my view. I hope you never end up having to deal with a Narcissist, but if you do you are welcome to try and prove me wrong.
My suggestion took ten minutes to think of while I wrote it, It wasn't meant as a go out and do it sort of thing, it was meant as a, use your brain a little and things can become better. An alternative to all the doomsayers on the comments below saying nothing changes. It was also meant as a quick alternative to abandoning a loved one to the streets or whatever, not an everyday cure-all.
Fair enough. I guessed that you had good intentions and that's great. My response was coming from concern because of a few people I personally know who have been in relationships with narcissists. And it really isn't as simple as "use your brain a little." Maybe you haven't expressed your thoughts clearly, because at face-value, that sounds like, If only these victims could out-smart the narcissist they'd help that person and solve their own problems too. The problem is that they DO try and outsmart and help the narcissist in their lives, and they (and those around them) end up suffering as a result. There is no getting away from the fact that this page is filled with doomsayers for extremely good reason.
The need for feeling special comes in many kids, and I believe encouraging them and drawing attention to their special qualities is a good thing. I wouldn't assume someone is a narcissist only based on such observation.
These sort of people do exist (if that's even in question) as I worked for people just like these. In the past I had a manager that required constant attention and admiration to the point where no work could be done. I was constantly summoned into the "throne room" when she had no "audience" and it's not like I had no work or responsibilities. I would duck out as I could, run back and accomplish something, then inevitably I would get a phone call and be summoned. This person competed openly with other managers and threatened to get them fired. When denied something, look out, narcissistic rage (extremely disturbing) was the result. All this was tacitly approved by senior management. Still don't know why. I quit some time ago so I assume this is still going on.
Narcissism should be taken a LOT more seriously then it is. Even in the advent of crying "narcissist" when you don't like someone happens, it's still really easy to see if someone is or isn't given the extremely specific and very strange signs of a real narcissistic mind.
Thanks for the video, I found it very informative! Just wanted to offer some comments as someone who's personally trying to address some of the issues you're talking about. I find it difficult to understand how an organisation, associated with counselling, are employing your knowledge in ways of how to "spot" a narcissist like you're on safari for mental disorders. I personally feel rather alienated by this, along with the somewhat mocking air in the presenters' voice when impersonating a narcissist. Yeah, okay - I empathise these things are socially dysfunctional. It seems to me, however, that these things make it a lot easier for me to stop looking at my own problems and deflect focus onto your own lack of compassion for a traumatised individual. I only say this as to make you understand that, perhaps this is more damaging and stigmatising to narcissists and indeed impairing those people trying to deal with narcissists. All the same, appreciate the time you put into it.
this guy himself is a narcissist...I understand what he is trying to do and it is admirable...correcting a mistake in his own life by making other peoples lives better, with his own spin on it, and he is a good sort and genuine on his approach....but I doubt it beyond the vid....I never known anyone to practice what they preach...unless they die, only way to live up to your principles
This is the funniest way of describing narcissists to be like James Bond characters, and this man himself he looks like James Bond. What a coincidence.
+Always-Stay-Positive Hey, I just read an Ian Fleming - one of his good ones. You are so correct. James Bond IS a narcissist. Very insightful of you. Thanks for the neat thought.
this is fantastic! question : do you think that the self aggrandisement elements of social media exacerbate this? there seems to be a lot more of these narcissistic types
It's not the media. Narcissism is genetic, like most personality disorders. Environment has little effect. I don't think there's more of these types of people, it's more that we're more aware of them, though possibly there is more due to the fact that crappy people breed more - since their main game is to trap. Usually narcissist trap easy prey... the prey that gets trapped usually carry crappy genes too so... it's possible that they breed more.
Clarice Williams It's the truth. Most people don't want to accept that nurture doesn't do much, that they don't really have control, that biology is random and could produce genes in human beings that are destructive. Empathy and Sympathy levels clearly vary in humans. When I say crappy genes, I mean people who are born with low sympathy, low empathy, high selfishness. I don't get where you're coming up with the whole social media causing narcissism, where's the logic in that?
Ty98ink Your posts are very insightful and strike many chords. Genetic, it most certainly is. That is beyond doubt. Like day follows night. Shape shifters with no real personality of their own. They'll be whoever they have to be to utilise their source to the fullest.
Goonerville Gonad Thanks. People should note they do have a personality (disorder), it's just an unappealing one - that's why they hide it.People just need to know what to look for, that's why I say logic is one's best friend. Like if someone criticizes you or attack you as a human being (with a smile on their face) yet claim you're being sensitive if you get upset- that doesn't make sense. When someone states a you plus a negative, it's a verbal assault, the intentions are to put you down, and make you feel like crap.
I note that narcissistic behaviours may start early in childhood to either the eldest, or the youngest, in a family of perhaps 4 or more? The struggle to be recognised and acknowledged in their tasks and efforts.
Teresa Tickner I am an aunt of a narcissist , I know for a fact from the very early stages this child showed narcissistic traits, although we had know idea at the time. The strange personality traits appeared as early as 3 years old and continued to blossom and was very profound. This child was born this way....she was loved and nurtured in a very balanced way, so I believe narcissism has a biological component to it.
Good vid, but I'd like to hear other descriptions of some of the narcs as every day people versus celebrities. The celebrity narcs are obvious, the every day narcs not so much, and I believe these are much more dangerous characters. Also, the part on self-defeating personality was hard to hear, but spot on, and explains much about how one keeps getting involved with narcs. Thanks.
I agree. The celebrities are obvious. It's the "every day narcissists" who lurk anywhere and wait to pounce who we all need to be educated about. And people with self-defeating personalities are mostly manufactured to be that way by bullies. They've never heard of other positive worldviews and life strategies like those offered by Louise Hay or Dr. Phil.
What about people who never admit that they say or do anything wrong??? And the same person is always saying that they don’t like what I say. Life if I would say that the sky is blue- he would always say no it is grey. He does not have any of those other things that you talked about. He does not hang around with wealthy people?? How do I know if he is narcissistic or just very stubborn and may be verbally abusing
Excellent lecture and thank you. but may I just add that for some reason it was very difficult to absorb the info because somehow the speaker's voice had a very wide range of volume.. it was almost like listening to someone with a cell phone cutting out constantly.. strange.. a few words almost blasted out and really loud, followed by almost a whisper voice for the last few words in a sentence, and all in the same sentence and in every sentence. this was difficult!
I have just dated a narcissist, who is in his 2nd year of Psychology.....He almost sent me insane. 4 dates later I had to remove myself from the relationship.
hilky58 That's so incredibly creepy. Definitely and overt. I have a theory that overt narcissism comes from people in childhood treated with over care, over praise over nothing. And coverts develop from extreme opposite.
there are facts and there are reputations. this presentation and these comments are more reputation then fact. that parenting may create a narcisist, but (perhaps many)other paths can forge a narcisist. if you are angry at a narcisist you may merge other flaws with the narcisism. it can not be connected to morality or ethics. a narcisist can have those and an empth can lack them.
they are on their best behavior, you most likely will not see the things you talk about in the video. The trick is to ask them specific questions .. for example: "what things are you currently working on to better yourself? any questions that have to do with self improvement, a narc will struggle with answering.
The #1 best way to tell if someone is a Narcissist, simply ask this one question: If the person in question is a Narcissist Q: Are you a Narcissist? A: Yes. If the person in question is NOT a Narcissist Q: Are you a Narcissist? A: No. Narcissists think very highly of themselves, and are very self-absorbed. They'll always take the chance to admit to being Narcissists because it gives them another title to add to their pedestal. Narcissists love titles. How do I know all this? Ask a Narcissist, I am one.
+Thallanar Rabidtooth I'm a half narcissist, the other half of me is co-dependent. Perhaps with bipolar disorder, and an inferiority complex thrown in but stubbornly view everyone as equals. Nobody's perfect....................... Psychology should be used sparingly.
Hahahaha, don't get caught in the drama he says, I let a narc girl listen to one of my favorite songs, and the lyrics contained ' I wont get caught in your dramaaaa' Hell, now I know why shes trying harder than ever to manipulate me xD Never ment to send a wrong message through the song! I just loved the sounds and instruments!!! But now i see what I have done!
Why do discussions so often focus on Grandiose Narcissism? I'm pretty sure I've known many Vulnerable Narcissists who weren't very functional and were emotionally abusive.
Don't know what's worse, a narcissist, or someone implying that narcissist are not humans and that it would be better if they were all dead... oh wait I can see *sigh*
Opinions about narcissist's by non narcissist's is like a book titled "how men think" written by a woman. Envy, need, insecurity etc are not possible for a narc, these are inferior emotions. A tutorial showing people how they can stop being weak, needy and pathetic would be more beneficial than this how to spot a narc video. I'm sure you'd agree.
looking for someone to blame for your problems. its a victim mentality, just sort yourselves out and stop complaining. If your life is shit, its your fault, deal with it
Tina Marie Narcissist do nothing but blame others. They also have very strange trains of thought and odd idiosyncrasies to their "character" or lack there of. They have no personality and everything that they are (likes, dislikes, thoughts, ideas) come from others they either fear or find admirable, or authoritative. Can you admit you have any faults at all in your own life that are your own mistakes?
Vixx Celacea You just perfectly described the so called victims of narcissists. E.g. no personality, blaming other people for their problems, victim complex etc. Can you take responsibility for your life or are you just another self pitying victim of circumstance? Sounds to me like your empathising with people who think the world owes them a favor. Psychologists wont tell you this because they make a living counselling victims, the more people you blame, the more sessions you have, the more money they make. Bye :0)
Tina Marie The world doesn't owe shit to no one and anyone that thinks so has some kind of skewed view of the world. I feel sorry for narcissists and view them as mentally ill. And no, there are such a thing as victims of abuse, or do you disagree that someone who is raped, beaten or mentally abused is a victim? Are you the kind of person who thinks anything and everything that happens to them is in there own control and it's always their fault? To which if you do, I ask again, do you think you have faults and that everything bad that ever happened to you was solely your fault and your direct actions that caused it? I agree that many psychologists do not have the interest of actually helping people, specifically in countries in which money is the most important thing. But there are some who actually do want to help. I don't know if this guy is one of them, but either way, Narcissism as a physically seeable disorder in the brain exists (meaning you can see the part of the brain not working or inactive under a cat scan and it's the same with depression and OCD as well as others, the scans look different from a normal functioning human brain), and if you're denying that it sounds like you're the type of person who never had help when they were down and was taught to think that everyone needs to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps, which completely denies everything we know about the human animal. Contrary to popular status quo, we're all social animals and were never meant to be so solitary as some people are, in fact, it's a disorder to be that solitary, though some disorders have more consequence then others.
/very good lecture, but your voice tends to drop off at the end of every sentence and is very hard to hear or understand. Keep the same volume when you speak.
That’s an exaggeration of the overt narc, they’re easy to spot! It’s the covert narc that’s much more difficult to distinguish!.... when you finally unmask those monsters you need counselling for C ptsd... not how to get along with them or continue to live with them! Good god get a grip!
I think you'll find that the aspects that seem to only belong to the overt narcissist actually are contained in the covert narcissist inside their thoughts. If one takes a less literal interpretation of the criteria and see what kind of statements can reflect that, then add in the realisation that a narcissist by default has to have a better false self than their true self (otherwise they wouldn't be in denial of the true self) and needs to convey another false self which is the pitiful victim, then it all makes sense. Superior self = is for their internal benefit Inferior self = projected outwardly
I think you neglect to give an understanding of those who are not "great actors" but rather social hermits and highly self critical. Gabbard GO (1989). "Two subtypes of narcissistic personality disorder". Bull Menninger Clin 53 (6): 527-32.
kelly naylor You can have traits of a narcissist and not be one. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism or a normal level. Real narcissists have other behaviors beyond what this video comprises of that are very unique and logically make zero sense to someone with functioning empathy. You can have one or even three traits mentioned and not be a narcissist. Every person with NPD I've met has fit 8+ of these traits.
The sad thing is most people are manipulative and self centered, but I wouldnt say most people are as sadistic as an npd. I have dated plenty of women that I had an amicable breakup with. Npd people always smear your name, and try to make you look bad. Who does that to someone who was a wonderful person to them, and cared so much for them? Oftentimes the creature was the one who betrayed this kind loving person. They did it unapologetically, and purely out of selfish reasons and desires. The npd person is so foolish that when bad things happen they shrug it off like that's life....no that's karma biting you in your hiney! We all know right from wrong, and we reap what we sow.
How do you create a narcissistic. It’s simple! How do you create a shark, or a raptor or an award winning race horse. It’s genetic 100%! Ho do you create a Brams or a Beethoven or a whatever. They were born with those traits.it’s that simple and that complex.
I think you might have met a bipolar person. Or a pro social narcissist, A borderline, covert and overt narcissist, A psychopath, a person with OCD ...A general jerk, histrionic. You could have met anyone
+Fitz Raijin .Wada 和田 If you "recognize" yourself as one, you probably aren't one! The true narcissist abhors personal insight. Personal insight requires depth - and a level of caring about what you do to others. I think true Personality Disorder Narcissists are happy as pie. - You might have some characteristics you aren't happy with, but again, you couldn't care less if you were one. Bye!
i agree... but i still suspect that im a narcissist a covert one.... thats why i isolate myself....i dont want to deal with other people's lives because i am a nuissance.... i just prefer to stay at home and be with my mother and my little sister..... yup i have an attidude problem... i am quite sensitive to critism and afraid of being judge.. i get hurt when people talk behind my back... okay thanks for giving your insights......
maybe one of your family member is a narc so you feel what they are doing to you. very low self esteem or social anxiety maybe? sounds like social anxiety to me
You would visit the top experts only, would you not? That means you may well belong to the same pathology that's been discussed. But then you would not actively seek therapy. So you are actually confabulating, to be subtle.
He has qualifications as a counselor and holds three masters degrees in related subjects. You do not have to be licensed at the doctoral level to be qualified to speak this topic. www.richardhill.com.au/about
@@dossier9442 right. This guy may have not encouraged getting out of dodge when it came to dealing with a narcissist, but other than that he nailed it. This is coming from someone who has researched this topic for hundreds of hours. The original poster is either oblivious, or trolling.
Some of these comments are pretty simple and stupid. Narcissists are quite effective at living their life really, it's only a problem for OTHER people. I don't understand why that should be the fault of the Narcissist either... we are creatures of survival after all. There are plenty of positions out there which require people with these tendencies to fill. It's a worry that trained professionals are trying to isolate a perfectly natural personality type. Seems now days the majority find something difficult to comprehend and they slap a label on it and consider it a 'disorder'. You get one life and if you're spending it worrying about what others think and trying not to step on anyone's toes you deserve to be at the bottom.
LOL, you are a narcissist. I always wondered what reaction a narcissist would have to watching a video that exposes them. One thing that I have learned is that a true narcissist never believes that they are doing anything wrong, they are completely unaware of their own behaviour. I had to report a co-worker who was saying things that implied that I was stupid and that he never has any of the problems (with a piece of equipment) that I have(a lie). He was trying to make himself look good in front of some important guests. He confronted me about it and he told me that he didn't mean to insult me. I gave him another example of his behaviour. He said that he was not conscientiously saying those things to make me look bad. I looked at him and said,"I know, that is the problem" LOL the look on his face, total confusion. He was completely unaware that his subconscious mind is in total control. Just because a narcissist has the same personality traits that are needed in certain positions of society does not mean that their behavior is acceptable. There are people that have these traits that are not narcissists. Again your understanding of true narcissism is not complete because you cannot truly analyse yourself or other people. Deficits in Incite (18:49) There is no real "reality" to a narcissistic person. Because their whole life they have been manipulating everyone and everything to fit what they want.
Johnny Mac I am? Yet the behavior is not unacceptable; it is simply how some people are. As you say, they are oblivious and therefore have no ill intent, they're just living in a different (often more practical) way. As there is no official rule book on how one is supposed to live, I stand by what I've said: a different way of thinking shouldn't be considered a disorder simply because it bothers another group of people. You don't see us creating 'personality disorders' for you overly emotional, impractical and illogical creatures now do you? Also, I don't need to analyse myself or others because my way of life works just fine. If those around me cannot tolerate it they can move away and enjoy their existence dictated by this bizarre notion that life should be lived in a particular way.
More practical? So you think that compulsive lying, covert aggressive behavior, emotional manipulation, and lack of empathy are acceptable behaviors and the better way in modern society? So when someone drives drunk and they don't have an intent to kill someone, but do, is that acceptable to you?
Johnny Mac We (like all other animals) are creatures of survival. We destroy other animal's homes for land, we kill them for food and hunt them for fun. This world has and always will be one where the strong prevail. When it comes to people this is no exception. I do not give half a shit whether I have to lie, emotionally manipulate or whatever to get ahead. If you're going to fall for it then you need to stop and think about how the real world works. People don't get to the top without climbing all over others... Modern society is fucked any way you look at it. As for your drink driving thing it's irrelevant and the poorest comparison I've ever heard. This isn't about life or death. I personally am always content with my life, I am seldom stressed, I don't get hindered by emotions or anyone else's bullshit and lead a successful life. Most of this is thanks to how I am which people like you like to paint as a horrible thing. Works for me though, you can continue to hate it and slap all sorts of labels on it, tell me how unacceptable it is if you want... but I am quite happy with it and anyone else like this is fine by me.
Yep, you're one of them. You've either suspected you are one, or been accused of being one. And, NO, they're not always oblivious at all! That's why you're here. Still, that you recognise it is the first step to recovery. Good luck.
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spot the narcissist/oh thats easy just look for the person that never apologises for nothing/and is completely deluded.
lol Never wrong even when caught red-handed, and are outraged when you don't accept their reasoning. They're incapable of a genuine apology, because you're either not worthy or they simply have nothing to apologise for, because it's YOUR fault. They are animals.
they might even apologies but are never really sorry
Fairdove Gifts are used sometimes as they can't really show they are sorry.
nethe0 i agree,gifts that they can take back at the 1st oppurtunity.
3rk4u
Or something they benefit from like a new cooker or fridge that the suffering wife wanted.
"We'll go out at the weekend and get you the new cooker you wanted, yes?"
The Covert types can be tough to spot , displaying none of the, "look at me" traits and are agreeable, kind and polite. When the mask drops, those negative traits are on full display, selfish, controlling, manipulative and looking for a fight.
The most brilliant talk on the subject, so far. Every fact reveals the bitter truth. Hope this video helps many kind hearted victims in lifting the mask off the Narcs in their lives.
I found this video very helpful especially since I'm an empath who's been dealing with a narcissist friend for several years now and I'm tired of being taken constant advantage of. I only saw her true colors recently when her mask came off and I saw the ugly person underneath. I am cutting all ties with her and that isn't as easy as it seems but thanks to some great tips from Prof. Richard Hill, I am confident that I can now severe all ties quickly and painlessly and finally say goodbye to a not so great friend.
+Alice Kizas See what Savanna says in Esteemology the week of Feb 1 2016 about being an empath It can really free you
+Alice Kizas Good for you! It takes a lot of doing to recognize them. They wear a lot of masks and are socially quite successful. After all, they're what I call "psychic vampires". Other's peoples attentions, whatever, ...love, friendship, again, whatever, are FOOD for them. They are the center of the universe, and others only rotate around them. - But watch out, these personality disorders can have a vicious angry side if you "hold up the mirror" to them. Congratulations on your insight. - And, you escape!
This was one of the best elucidations on the subject that I've ever come across. So many blogs come across as rants and put-downs of the narcissist but I guess that's a by-product of the form. Anyway, this was very helpful, calm and funny and appropriately sobering as well. Thank you!
Their final outcome is of divine proportions. They become complete irreversible failures and lose virtually everything. They live their life with their heads hanging low and a tear in their eye. Still, not one can ever be trusted or interacted with in any form, as they will never change.
And this is the saddest truth. I think at some point we may find a fix for this terrible defect in the brain.
Their life sucks worse then what they cause to their victims, as impossible as it may seem. As long as the "victim" (I use this term loosely, because the narcissist does not at all understand what they do is wrong and fear that notion in general. They do not actually want to hurt in the sense we think about) moves on.
The whole thing is such an incredibly fucked up mess up that I'm surprised this isn't top priority in the neurological societies and sciences. The brain is complex though, hard to figure out how to fix something like that.
This is fascinating . It is hard sometimes not to get angry with the narcissist when they are aggressive towards you, which in turn creates the drama they are wanting , a chance to hurt you more , but a terrible outcome for yourself if you do become angry ,wears you down , physical injuries as well as emotional . Thank you , you have made a few things clearer in the understanding of not only how to react to this destructive form of abuse but also how to spot it .
This. In my youth, I was a doormat and I think my narcissistic mother had literally been trying for 18+ years to get my anger out. And when it did, she called me all kinds of names, called me heartless and anything else. She was never physical, for some reason she knew better, but that just put me on edge thinking that some time it was going to happen, which is pretty terrible too.
People often underestimate the pain of mental abuse, which all narcissists do, if not adding physical into the mix :/
I would love to see all their cowardness come out once confronted by someone who could easlily beat the shit out of of them.
This was a very informative video, but I never learned a thing about spotting a narcissist, which is why I chose to watch in the first place.
I don't know if it's just me, but I'm starting to notice dark triad personalities more and more. Years back this type of thing wasn't really a big deal. Now you see more people acting selfish and in vain. What's the deal about people thinking they're special when most haven't done anything special? I believe we all should be happy, and think we deserve the best in life, but some people get carried away and think they're better than others. They step over other people's boundaries. Seriously we're all Human beings with the same needs and wants. You're telling me the President is better than you because of his title? No, he has a job, a role, but this doesn't imply he's a greater human being than you. This is how Narcissists think. The ego believes he or she has entitlement and is superior for mostly idiotic reasons.
Don't let them make you feel inferior, and don't make others feel inferior either. Let's be rational and caring.
were all special thats why nobody is special.
Great video. Presented the facts without the monikers such as "evil" and "predator" that are often thrown around when discussing NPD.
Thank you for providing such an interesting lecture. I was completely enthralled from start to finish.
Most neutral vid on NPD yet. Thank you. As one with it, I appreciate the clinical, therefore compassionate gaze on this maligned phenomenon. Do not reject education, lest ye fall victim to your own ignorance.
I like your flair for telling stories. Great instructional video!
People who think that they are perfect are really annoying to people like me who really are.
+bluewater454 You just gave the best definition of a narcissist right there mate!
I recently met one who dressed down instead of up because no-one in the group was worthy of their efforts. Ha!
I thought this was a very engaging presentation, thank you very much for sharing!
I'm a 17 you old man, I'm a narc, but a lazy one at that, this leads to low self esteem and a shitty life. I must, must, must, must, must change my ways and become rich.
become rich then loser
Never had a comment give me cancer the way these two did
+Nirvana cana If you beome rich you will be very mean. Stay where you are and change your ways first, know thyself and be humble as me.
Did you get rich? or did life get fd up
I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend because I know she will never have a successful relationship and when children are thrown into that equation she will get dynamically worse and their will be more narcissistic rages as the children wont be giving her the Supply she is desperately addicted to. I told her in the last year of my relationship that I have never diagnosed anyone for 10 years after my first girlfriend of 5 years was psychologist and I rejected the field but after having witessed the absolute consistency of the diagnoses when it comes to this case of NPD, the uniformity of traits experienced by every victim of NPD partners, as though everyone had the same partner, I just had to let it out and inform her of what it is, that cold dull pain in her life. I know she will never go get help, openly confessing her suspected condition, so I feel sad remembering her, wondering how she is today. From from victim to the next, never building any deep meaningful relationships will always be alone. And I didnt want her to be alone. I saw the other side of her fleetingly sometimes, but I guess I was wrong.
There seems to be a lot of negative comments about narcissists 'can't change'. Everyone can change and you have to understand that these people have been raised this way, it's not their fault, it's a coping mechanism, a way of overcoming pain or neglect. If you want to change a narcissist, I doubt it would be easy at all, but I would definitely say it's possible.
In the video R.Hill says that narcissists always switch from extremes never finding that centre point and sticking to it. So maybe a way to combat this is to hold an extreme yourself and keep to that extreme, until the narcissist is familiar with the extreme. Once the narcissist is well introduced to it, switch to the opposite extreme and hold that extreme until the narcissist is familiar with the behaviour. After that return back to your normal self which should be around the normal levels of behaviour. This could maybe give the narcissist an impression of what they are doing wrong, without actually confronting the narcissist and putting yourself at risk.
Another problem with narcissists is they feel no empathy, so maybe a way of combatting this is to be extremely empathic yourself while around them and this could possibly reboot them.
**These are just ideas though it's quite possible that trying these things could possibly anger a narcissist, if they catch on, so I'd be cautious.**
Also I am not a therapist so these ideas are, I guess, just ideas, that could possibly work or maybe won't work at all. But if it's a family member who is a narcissist then they might be handy.
D. j.S When you haven't had first hand experience with a particular problem, the solution may seem simple. However, as well intentioned as you might be in offering a suggestion on how to help the Narcissist, I suspect all you have done is show how the average person has no clue to the perverted character of the Narc, and how totally committed they are to their delusions. Have you read any of the stories that "survivors" here have shared? Your suggestion is like asking someone to balance on one leg during an earthquake....an earthquake that never stops. These people struggle to maintain their own sanity in response to the Narc's manipulated behaviour, so suggesting they try and manipulate their responses to try and balance out the Narcissist is not feasible.
Remember how in this lecture Richard Hill says that underneath the grandiosity & delusions there is an extremely fragile person? For these people, they are deathly afraid of being exposed as incompetent or as failures. Like you, I don't like to think of anyone being impossible to help, however it comes down to the choice of the individual. And the likelihood of them choosing a path toward healing when they are 110% invested in proving they don't have any problem makes change highly unlikely.
If you're interested, you'll find another documentary on Facebook on Egomaniacs which may help you understand the depth of the problem.
Well that's your opinion, my opinion is you give a shit about someone and help them get over their society created problems and with a lot of hard-work, attention and awareness an individual begins to improve, no longer is the individual trapped in the box people like you put them in! People can change, people do change.
The only reason my idea isn't very viable is because it would require another individual that hasn't been affected by narcissism in such a way, to put in 100% of their time to help the individual until they aren't as extreme, basically a saint, not impossible, just difficult.
D. j.S If you're thinking that I don't care, you're wrong. The problem is if you care about a person's problems more than they do, sooner or later you will burn out.
I asked earlier, have you read any other the survivor's stories here in the comments? Have you watched any of the documentaries about Narcissism, such as the one I recommended? As much as it's good to hold to the view that anyone can change (which I think is true 99.999% of the time) whether a person wants to change is another matter entirely. Most people, even with minor problems like, they don't manage their finances well, eat/drink/smoke too much, watch TV too much etc struggle to actually want to change even though they know they should. Then how do you help the person who denies having a problem....who sees themselves as the only good person and everyone is stupid, or useless, and vastly inferior? For them to want to listen to anything you said they'd have to respect your opinion first of all. And they don't respect anyone.
Well meaning people can use up a lot of time & energy trying to transfer their desire for another person to change without actually achieving anything except hurting themselves and making the other person more stubbornly attached to their problem. This is the essence of co-dependency which is another huge problem in society as a whole. And (since you seemed to so easily get upset by my gentle attempt to suggest your view lacked substance) I'm thinking you would last about 1 day with a Narcissist before you ended up a blubbering mess. But...as you pointed out, that's just my view. I hope you never end up having to deal with a Narcissist, but if you do you are welcome to try and prove me wrong.
My suggestion took ten minutes to think of while I wrote it, It wasn't meant as a go out and do it sort of thing, it was meant as a, use your brain a little and things can become better. An alternative to all the doomsayers on the comments below saying nothing changes. It was also meant as a quick alternative to abandoning a loved one to the streets or whatever, not an everyday cure-all.
Fair enough. I guessed that you had good intentions and that's great. My response was coming from concern because of a few people I personally know who have been in relationships with narcissists. And it really isn't as simple as "use your brain a little." Maybe you haven't expressed your thoughts clearly, because at face-value, that sounds like, If only these victims could out-smart the narcissist they'd help that person and solve their own problems too. The problem is that they DO try and outsmart and help the narcissist in their lives, and they (and those around them) end up suffering as a result. There is no getting away from the fact that this page is filled with doomsayers for extremely good reason.
An informative user friendly presentation. I would love to sit in one of this man's lectures.
The need for feeling special comes in many kids, and I believe encouraging them and drawing attention to their special qualities is a good thing. I wouldn't assume someone is a narcissist only based on such observation.
These sort of people do exist (if that's even in question) as I worked for people just like these. In the past I had a manager that required constant attention and admiration to the point where no work could be done. I was constantly summoned into the "throne room" when she had no "audience" and it's not like I had no work or responsibilities. I would duck out as I could, run back and accomplish something, then inevitably I would get a phone call and be summoned. This person competed openly with other managers and threatened to get them fired. When denied something, look out, narcissistic rage (extremely disturbing) was the result. All this was tacitly approved by senior management. Still don't know why. I quit some time ago so I assume this is still going on.
I can relate to that.
Narcissism should be taken a LOT more seriously then it is. Even in the advent of crying "narcissist" when you don't like someone happens, it's still really easy to see if someone is or isn't given the extremely specific and very strange signs of a real narcissistic mind.
Thanks for the video, I found it very informative!
Just wanted to offer some comments as someone who's personally trying to address some of the issues you're talking about. I find it difficult to understand how an organisation, associated with counselling, are employing your knowledge in ways of how to "spot" a narcissist like you're on safari for mental disorders. I personally feel rather alienated by this, along with the somewhat mocking air in the presenters' voice when impersonating a narcissist.
Yeah, okay - I empathise these things are socially dysfunctional. It seems to me, however, that these things make it a lot easier for me to stop looking at my own problems and deflect focus onto your own lack of compassion for a traumatised individual. I only say this as to make you understand that, perhaps this is more damaging and stigmatising to narcissists and indeed impairing those people trying to deal with narcissists.
All the same, appreciate the time you put into it.
this guy himself is a narcissist...I understand what he is trying to do and it is admirable...correcting a mistake in his own life by making other peoples lives better, with his own spin on it, and he is a good sort and genuine on his approach....but I doubt it beyond the vid....I never known anyone to practice what they preach...unless they die, only way to live up to your principles
+ken smith What the hell are you talking about?
i am ken smith...you can't read mate? read it again and i will tell you again
Very educational and a warm presentation.
very good thank you.
Excellent video.
This is the funniest way of describing narcissists to be like James Bond characters, and this man himself he looks like James Bond. What a coincidence.
+Always-Stay-Positive Hey, I just read an Ian Fleming - one of his good ones. You are so correct. James Bond IS a narcissist. Very insightful of you. Thanks for the neat thought.
this is fantastic! question : do you think that the self aggrandisement elements of social media exacerbate this? there seems to be a lot more of these narcissistic types
It's not the media. Narcissism is genetic, like most personality disorders. Environment has little effect. I don't think there's more of these types of people, it's more that we're more aware of them, though possibly there is more due to the fact that crappy people breed more - since their main game is to trap. Usually narcissist trap easy prey... the prey that gets trapped usually carry crappy genes too so... it's possible that they breed more.
Crappy genes?Crappy people?Crappy people breed more?Thanks for the considered opinion. I have not taken note of it.
Clarice Williams It's the truth. Most people don't want to accept that nurture doesn't do much, that they don't really have control, that biology is random and could produce genes in human beings that are destructive. Empathy and Sympathy levels clearly vary in humans. When I say crappy genes, I mean people who are born with low sympathy, low empathy, high selfishness. I don't get where you're coming up with the whole social media causing narcissism, where's the logic in that?
Ty98ink Your posts are very insightful and strike many chords. Genetic, it most certainly is. That is beyond doubt. Like day follows night. Shape shifters with no real personality of their own. They'll be whoever they have to be to utilise their source to the fullest.
Goonerville Gonad Thanks. People should note they do have a personality (disorder), it's just an unappealing one - that's why they hide it.People just need to know what to look for, that's why I say logic is one's best friend. Like if someone criticizes you or attack you as a human being (with a smile on their face) yet claim you're being sensitive if you get upset- that doesn't make sense. When someone states a you plus a negative, it's a verbal assault, the intentions are to put you down, and make you feel like crap.
I note that narcissistic behaviours may start early in childhood to either the eldest, or the youngest, in a family of perhaps 4 or more? The struggle to be recognised and acknowledged in their tasks and efforts.
Teresa Tickner I am an aunt of a narcissist , I know for a fact from the very early stages this child showed narcissistic traits, although we had know idea at the time. The strange personality traits appeared as early as 3 years old and continued to blossom and was very profound. This child was born this way....she was loved and nurtured in a very balanced way, so I believe narcissism has a biological component to it.
Champagne comes from the champagne region of France. Everything else is sparkling wine.
Very Helpful in Future .
Good vid, but I'd like to hear other descriptions of some of the narcs as every day people versus celebrities. The celebrity narcs are obvious, the every day narcs not so much, and I believe these are much more dangerous characters. Also, the part on self-defeating personality was hard to hear, but spot on, and explains much about how one keeps getting involved with narcs. Thanks.
I agree. The celebrities are obvious. It's the "every day narcissists" who lurk anywhere and wait to pounce who we all need to be educated about.
And people with self-defeating personalities are mostly manufactured to be that way by bullies. They've never heard of other positive worldviews and life strategies like those offered by Louise Hay or Dr. Phil.
Thank you
Excellent, thank you.
it could be a great assumption to assume narcissists have low self esteem
Such a great video. Esp minute 11 ish.
What about people who never admit that they say or do anything wrong??? And the same person is always saying that they don’t like what I say. Life if I would say that the sky is blue- he would always say no it is grey. He does not have any of those other things that you talked about. He does not hang around with wealthy people?? How do I know if he is narcissistic or just very stubborn and may be verbally abusing
this is a great way to defend your self from a narcasists attack ? by understanding that they are. ie a work 's manager ?
thank you. very helpful
Can a narcissist get on well with: a) An introvert, b) A bipolar, c) An asperg/aspy?
Excellent lecture and thank you. but may I just add that for some reason it was very difficult to absorb the info because somehow the speaker's voice had a very wide range of volume.. it was almost like listening to someone with a cell phone cutting out constantly.. strange.. a few words almost blasted out and really loud, followed by almost a whisper voice for the last few words in a sentence, and all in the same sentence and in every sentence. this was difficult!
I think he was trying to be expressive but it was a bit annoying and very distracting
Are most heads-of-state narcissists except David Cameron?
I have just dated a narcissist, who is in his 2nd year of Psychology.....He almost sent me insane. 4 dates later I had to remove myself from the relationship.
He once said to me "Don't you feel lucky that I am spending my day with you"!
hilky58
That's so incredibly creepy. Definitely and overt.
I have a theory that overt narcissism comes from people in childhood treated with over care, over praise over nothing. And coverts develop from extreme opposite.
I hate refering to DMS for diagnoses because DSM really is a big joke. NPD is a real condition though, and well defined.
Wonderful...
there are facts and there are reputations. this presentation and these comments are more reputation then fact. that parenting may create a narcisist, but (perhaps many)other paths can forge a narcisist. if you are angry at a narcisist you may merge other flaws with the narcisism. it can not be connected to morality or ethics. a narcisist can have those and an empth can lack them.
here are some s's sss
Hard to follow he keeps turning his head away from the microphone and so the volume of his voice fluctuated between audible and inaudible.
they are on their best behavior, you most likely will not see the things you talk about in the video. The trick is to ask them specific questions .. for example: "what things are you currently working on to better yourself? any questions that have to do with self improvement, a narc will struggle with answering.
sir roger moore?
The #1 best way to tell if someone is a Narcissist, simply ask this one question:
If the person in question is a Narcissist
Q: Are you a Narcissist?
A: Yes.
If the person in question is NOT a Narcissist
Q: Are you a Narcissist?
A: No.
Narcissists think very highly of themselves, and are very self-absorbed. They'll always take the chance to admit to being Narcissists because it gives them another title to add to their pedestal. Narcissists love titles.
How do I know all this? Ask a Narcissist, I am one.
+Thallanar Rabidtooth I'm a half narcissist, the other half of me is co-dependent. Perhaps with bipolar disorder, and an inferiority complex thrown in but stubbornly view everyone as equals. Nobody's perfect....................... Psychology should be used sparingly.
+Thallanar Rabidtooth So if someone knows that they're narcissistic but aren't proud of it that is one mark against actually being narcissistic?
but...but... does one have to hsve beautiful mind too n not admit mesmerized by it?
Hahahaha, don't get caught in the drama he says, I let a narc girl listen to one of my favorite songs, and the lyrics contained ' I wont get caught in your dramaaaa'
Hell, now I know why shes trying harder than ever to manipulate me xD
Never ment to send a wrong message through the song! I just loved the sounds and instruments!!! But now i see what I have done!
Why do discussions so often focus on Grandiose Narcissism? I'm pretty sure I've known many Vulnerable Narcissists who weren't very functional and were emotionally abusive.
Good presentation, but let’s not forget the conspicuous victim narcissist!
And there are also those who are vulgar, aggressive, too pushy and insulting. Easy to spot, hard to deal with...
This guys would make a great Dungeon Master, lol
Don't know what's worse, a narcissist, or someone implying that narcissist are not humans and that it would be better if they were all dead... oh wait I can see *sigh*
Are you an Australian Walter White. How much for an ounce of Blue Meth. I'm in South Sydney.
Just kidding. Thank you, this has helped me alot.
Opinions about narcissist's by non narcissist's is like a book titled "how men think" written by a woman. Envy, need, insecurity etc are not possible for a narc, these are inferior emotions. A tutorial showing people how they can stop being weak, needy and pathetic would be more beneficial than this how to spot a narc video. I'm sure you'd agree.
Spoken like a real Narc!
looking for someone to blame for your problems. its a victim mentality, just sort yourselves out and stop complaining. If your life is shit, its your fault, deal with it
Tina Marie Narcissist do nothing but blame others. They also have very strange trains of thought and odd idiosyncrasies to their "character" or lack there of. They have no personality and everything that they are (likes, dislikes, thoughts, ideas) come from others they either fear or find admirable, or authoritative.
Can you admit you have any faults at all in your own life that are your own mistakes?
Vixx Celacea You just perfectly described the so called victims of narcissists. E.g. no personality, blaming other people for their problems, victim complex etc. Can you take responsibility for your life or are you just another self pitying victim of circumstance? Sounds to me like your empathising with people who think the world owes them a favor. Psychologists wont tell you this because they make a living counselling victims, the more people you blame, the more sessions you have, the more money they make. Bye :0)
Tina Marie The world doesn't owe shit to no one and anyone that thinks so has some kind of skewed view of the world.
I feel sorry for narcissists and view them as mentally ill. And no, there are such a thing as victims of abuse, or do you disagree that someone who is raped, beaten or mentally abused is a victim? Are you the kind of person who thinks anything and everything that happens to them is in there own control and it's always their fault? To which if you do, I ask again, do you think you have faults and that everything bad that ever happened to you was solely your fault and your direct actions that caused it?
I agree that many psychologists do not have the interest of actually helping people, specifically in countries in which money is the most important thing. But there are some who actually do want to help. I don't know if this guy is one of them, but either way, Narcissism as a physically seeable disorder in the brain exists (meaning you can see the part of the brain not working or inactive under a cat scan and it's the same with depression and OCD as well as others, the scans look different from a normal functioning human brain), and if you're denying that it sounds like you're the type of person who never had help when they were down and was taught to think that everyone needs to pick themselves up by their own bootstraps, which completely denies everything we know about the human animal. Contrary to popular status quo, we're all social animals and were never meant to be so solitary as some people are, in fact, it's a disorder to be that solitary, though some disorders have more consequence then others.
I'd rather ...
Equal Treatment :)
How to Spot a Narcissist
/very good lecture, but your voice tends to drop off at the end of every sentence and is very hard to hear or understand. Keep the same volume when you speak.
... my god how he so hate narcissistic people ...
That’s an exaggeration of the overt narc, they’re easy to spot! It’s the covert narc that’s much more difficult to distinguish!.... when you finally unmask those monsters you need counselling for C ptsd... not how to get along with them or continue to live with them! Good god get a grip!
I think you'll find that the aspects that seem to only belong to the overt narcissist actually are contained in the covert narcissist inside their thoughts. If one takes a less literal interpretation of the criteria and see what kind of statements can reflect that, then add in the realisation that a narcissist by default has to have a better false self than their true self (otherwise they wouldn't be in denial of the true self) and needs to convey another false self which is the pitiful victim, then it all makes sense.
Superior self = is for their internal benefit
Inferior self = projected outwardly
I think you neglect to give an understanding of those who are not "great actors" but rather social hermits and highly self critical.
Gabbard GO (1989). "Two subtypes of narcissistic personality disorder". Bull Menninger Clin 53 (6): 527-32.
The real truth sadly is that we all have the symptoms of NPD! Everyone that I have met and myself share 1 or more of these symptoms. Cheers.....
kelly naylor You can have traits of a narcissist and not be one. There is such a thing as healthy narcissism or a normal level. Real narcissists have other behaviors beyond what this video comprises of that are very unique and logically make zero sense to someone with functioning empathy.
You can have one or even three traits mentioned and not be a narcissist. Every person with NPD I've met has fit 8+ of these traits.
The sad thing is most people are manipulative and self centered, but I wouldnt say most people are as sadistic as an npd. I have dated plenty of women that I had an amicable breakup with. Npd people always smear your name, and try to make you look bad. Who does that to someone who was a wonderful person to them, and cared so much for them? Oftentimes the creature was the one who betrayed this kind loving person. They did it unapologetically, and purely out of selfish reasons and desires. The npd person is so foolish that when bad things happen they shrug it off like that's life....no that's karma biting you in your hiney! We all know right from wrong, and we reap what we sow.
maybe jealous after all
I must be a narcissistic for watching this
All feline are narcissists.
Andrew C. meow!
Best thing to do with a narcissist is to kill them or put yourself in a situation where your paths never cross.
He calls them charming. I don't think so. It's like saying "Fingernails on a blackboard make a lovely sound"
The relationship observation is nearly helpful, although there is no evidence for genetic links to mental disorder, not sure why you believe that.
How do you create a narcissistic. It’s simple!
How do you create a shark, or a raptor or an award winning race horse. It’s genetic 100%!
Ho do you create a Brams or a Beethoven or a whatever. They were born with those traits.it’s that simple and that complex.
I think you might have met a bipolar person. Or a pro social narcissist, A borderline, covert and overt narcissist, A psychopath, a person with OCD ...A general jerk, histrionic. You could have met anyone
damn! i think im a narcissist! shit
thanks i'm a covert type..
+Fitz Raijin .Wada 和田 - you are fine...
+Fitz Raijin .Wada 和田 If you "recognize" yourself as one, you probably aren't one! The true narcissist abhors personal insight. Personal insight requires depth - and a level of caring about what you do to others. I think true Personality Disorder Narcissists are happy as pie. - You might have some characteristics you aren't happy with, but again, you couldn't care less if you were one. Bye!
i agree... but i still suspect that im a narcissist a covert one.... thats why i isolate myself....i dont want to deal with other people's lives because i am a nuissance.... i just prefer to stay at home and be with my mother and my little sister..... yup i have an attidude problem... i am quite sensitive to critism and afraid of being judge.. i get hurt when people talk behind my back... okay thanks for giving your insights......
maybe one of your family member is a narc so you feel what they are doing to you.
very low self esteem or social anxiety maybe?
sounds like social anxiety to me
This is the worst information I have ever heard on npd!
You use % against males lets try 50/50 ok?
If you want to define the exact description of a narcissist, a psychopath, or a sociopath, then just take a good look at Muslims.
This gentleman has no qualifications as a psychologist not psychiatrist. I wouldn't visit him.
You would visit the top experts only, would you not? That means you may well belong to the same pathology that's been discussed. But then you would not actively seek therapy. So you are actually confabulating, to be subtle.
He has qualifications as a counselor and holds three masters degrees in related subjects. You do not have to be licensed at the doctoral level to be qualified to speak this topic. www.richardhill.com.au/about
@@dossier9442 right. This guy may have not encouraged getting out of dodge when it came to dealing with a narcissist, but other than that he nailed it. This is coming from someone who has researched this topic for hundreds of hours. The original poster is either oblivious, or trolling.
Trump look and listen then compare.
this is really... fucking awkward. da fuq?
Some of these comments are pretty simple and stupid. Narcissists are quite effective at living their life really, it's only a problem for OTHER people. I don't understand why that should be the fault of the Narcissist either... we are creatures of survival after all. There are plenty of positions out there which require people with these tendencies to fill. It's a worry that trained professionals are trying to isolate a perfectly natural personality type. Seems now days the majority find something difficult to comprehend and they slap a label on it and consider it a 'disorder'. You get one life and if you're spending it worrying about what others think and trying not to step on anyone's toes you deserve to be at the bottom.
LOL, you are a narcissist. I always wondered what reaction a narcissist would have to watching a video that exposes them. One thing that I have learned is that a true narcissist never believes that they are doing anything wrong, they are completely unaware of their own behaviour.
I had to report a co-worker who was saying things that implied that I was stupid and that he never has any of the problems (with a piece of equipment) that I have(a lie). He was trying to make himself look good in front of some important guests. He confronted me about it and he told me that he didn't mean to insult me. I gave him another example of his behaviour. He said that he was not conscientiously saying those things to make me look bad. I looked at him and said,"I know, that is the problem" LOL the look on his face, total confusion. He was completely unaware that his subconscious mind is in total control.
Just because a narcissist has the same personality traits that are needed in certain positions of society does not mean that their behavior is acceptable. There are people that have these traits that are not narcissists. Again your understanding of true narcissism is not complete because you cannot truly analyse yourself or other people. Deficits in Incite (18:49) There is no real "reality" to a narcissistic person. Because their whole life they have been manipulating everyone and everything to fit what they want.
Johnny Mac I am?
Yet the behavior is not unacceptable; it is simply how some people are. As you say, they are oblivious and therefore have no ill intent, they're just living in a different (often more practical) way. As there is no official rule book on how one is supposed to live, I stand by what I've said: a different way of thinking shouldn't be considered a disorder simply because it bothers another group of people.
You don't see us creating 'personality disorders' for you overly emotional, impractical and illogical creatures now do you?
Also, I don't need to analyse myself or others because my way of life works just fine. If those around me cannot tolerate it they can move away and enjoy their existence dictated by this bizarre notion that life should be lived in a particular way.
More practical?
So you think that compulsive lying, covert aggressive behavior, emotional manipulation, and lack of empathy are acceptable behaviors and the better way in modern society?
So when someone drives drunk and they don't have an intent to kill someone, but do, is that acceptable to you?
Johnny Mac
We (like all other animals) are creatures of survival. We destroy other animal's homes for land, we kill them for food and hunt them for fun. This world has and always will be one where the strong prevail. When it comes to people this is no exception. I do not give half a shit whether I have to lie, emotionally manipulate or whatever to get ahead. If you're going to fall for it then you need to stop and think about how the real world works. People don't get to the top without climbing all over others... Modern society is fucked any way you look at it.
As for your drink driving thing it's irrelevant and the poorest comparison I've ever heard. This isn't about life or death. I personally am always content with my life, I am seldom stressed, I don't get hindered by emotions or anyone else's bullshit and lead a successful life. Most of this is thanks to how I am which people like you like to paint as a horrible thing. Works for me though, you can continue to hate it and slap all sorts of labels on it, tell me how unacceptable it is if you want... but I am quite happy with it and anyone else like this is fine by me.
Yep, you're one of them. You've either suspected you are one, or been accused of being one. And, NO, they're not always oblivious at all! That's why you're here. Still, that you recognise it is the first step to recovery. Good luck.
Obama!