I will be 75 in a few days and have had a long working life. I still work full time because I have to. I do enjoy my work as an immigration lawyer but it is quite stressful at times. It is hard for me to understand your life situation. You live in a nice looking home near a southern California beach, and all your material needs are (apparently) taken care of. You are a physically beautiful woman with a pleasant, open personality. Yet, you are afflicted with a crippling self-isolation (except for this channel) and an apparent inability to connect with people and find a purpose in life. Channeling David Byrne in "Once in a Lifetime," "Well, how did [you] get here?" I believe it would help your followers (me included) understand and possibly help you better if you discussed that in an upload. The one thing I can suggest at this point is that helping others is a good way to find purpose in one's life, to fill that existential void. Been there, done that, It's the only way I have found to discover purpose in my own existence. All the best and no disrespect intended!
It seems Erika is someone who thrives in her own company and there's nothing wrong with that.She doesn't need other people to feel fulfilled but,for someone so young,she does seem quite jaded.
@@jolyonholloway483 A lady that pretty I don't care how jaded she seems. i think she only wants attention I am disliking this video I have been lonely for years and it's difficult for me to make friends or get a girlfriend I hate being alone but I know how short I am and how ugly I am.
She's an actress playing a role. Don't be so gullible when surfing the interwebs. TH-cam is ENTERTAINMENT, and free entertainment at that! Stop assuming what you're viewing is anything more than fiction.
@@Marty_TH-camr It is possible to be alone without being lonely which is my situation but appearance isn't everything and there is a woman for you if you look.
People always forget that perfection is unobtainable but social media portrays perfection like its normal. Someone posted a picture on my instagram reel of a dozen guys taking instagram pictures of their girlfriends. Mind you they were not friends or related at all. Just a picture showing the beach and water meeting and all the way down the beach were dudes on their knees taking pictures with professional cameras of girls in bikinis all holding their hand out like the were holding the sun. It was really kinda sad to see. Instead of interacting with each other and starting a party or playing beach volleyball they are all alone, even right next to each other, taking pictures for people they will never see to get them likes and clicks on their ads.
Completely agree and you don't need to be with someone in order to enjoy life. I felt similar to how you felt when I was your age. I am a very introvert type person that often prefers not to be with a lot of people but I don't let that hold me back in going out and enjoying stuff on my own if I can't find someone to hang out with. Also learn to appreciate what you have as where I live, I see a lot of less fortunate people out in the streets.
Hi Erika, at this point you should ask yourself: "why do I upload videos?" do you like sharing your day to day? do you enjoy reading your comments? what do you get out of it? I can tell you you DO help others with these videos because a lot of us can relate to your life. Life is not what you see in IG and that's OK.
One of the best videos I've come across. You have a great talent for making these videos. Excellent balance and focus, sound is great very understandable and intelligible, very good editing that makes watching the video easy to watch. You don't spend too much time on any particular experience to the point that it gets boring.
VERY ENJOYABLE VIDEO I WATCHED IT WHILE I WAS DOING LESS THAN YOU WERE DOING!!! AND THAT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I BECAME VERY SLEEPY AT AROUND 5PM SO IT'S NAP TIME!!! STAY COOL STAY CHILL NEVER CHANGE!!! PEACE!!!
The majority of what you've said here resonates with me... probably a bit more than I'd like. When all you've got is alone time, going out and doing stuff alone to avoid being alone by yourself... isn't a heck of a lot different than just staying home. You're surrounded by people, but they're all busy with their lives and walk on by. And it seems like people can usually detect if you're not feeling 100%, and they avoid accordingly. Traveling alone? I don't get much out of it, and I generally end up driving faster, stopping less, and when I do stop, I feel like I'm forcing myself to pretend I'm enjoying the diversion. It's just so much better when you've got somebody to talk to, form ideas with... and later, you can always go: "Hey. Do you remember that one time we were in Myrtle Point, and that guy who looked like Billy Mays hydroplaned his mobility scooter into the bay?" Sometimes it's nice to have time alone when you do have a decent social life, but solitude on top of emptiness can put you in the weeds. Ideas for future videos: I liked your excursion into real estate window shopping and the resultant commentary. As others have stated, your wit and brand of humor are noteworthy. I'm detecting quite a bit more depth and intelligence than you may be giving yourself credit for (you know what wainscoting is, FTW). It would be cool to hear a bit more about your earlier life. Have you had times in your life where you were happier, had more close friends, and felt like things were going well? I know you were kind of reserved about things that lead up to your move to California, so I dunno if you're comfortable going there. I hope you don't bail on this and delete... I'm pretty choosy on the content I consume, and even more so on what I'll comment on. Your stuff is relatable, and it does help to know that I'm not the only human going through the motions until I can hopefully find (or stumble into) my place. Try to hang in there!
If you only know how entertaining you are just doing nothing it's awesome . I like your videos because it's real it's raw it's you, nothing fake about you this is how 95 % of us live just bored and having nothing going on
Thanks for the glimpse, Erika! You've got some fans here, and we do appreciate your video blog, so don't worry about what you post, just keep posting, you're good! Hope you have a Blessed week ahead!!!
Watching your video Erika as I tend my Olivia Austin Rose garden by David Austin Roses as I also pour me a glass of Limoncello and a slice of Breton Pastry..by the way nice dog.
Everything is relative. 200 people were shot all at once together by the Russians in Ukraine today. You have a nice place to live with a beach and a neat dogo named Kiwi. You also get to have clean clothes and cook your own good food. You have many blessings. And you are staying out of trouble. You are still young enough you don't necessarily need to be hindered by drama from other people. And you just mentioned your family. You were visibly happy when they visited. You are greatly blessed.😂 It just dawned on me, you are living the life of a retiree 50 years early😮. Congratulations! You can spend your time doing anything you want. 😊
You are fine and I find that you are normal and special. You have a lot of time to enjoy doing nothing, just do whatever whenever, it's your life let it be.
"No matter where you go... There you are." Anything, anywhere, any time can be a vacation. Vacation is a state of mind. I mean, I go on vacation at least twice a day.
Erika, your life is not sad, it is normal. It is how we react to the situations that show who we are. You are real and honest. Think about all the things that you have gone through. All the things that hurt, made you unhappy, made you question your self worth. Now think of the things that you have accomplished, you built, and improved upon. For instance; your editing, the subscribers to your channel, and the people you have helped that you may never get to know. Think about how happy Kiwi is when you walk through the door. You have come a long way Erika from that first video to now. You Erika are a resilient woman. Take care Erika, and remember perfection is not the goal, progress is. Your Friend
Man, the “I can’t recommend anywhere to go around here to family/friends” rant is crazy relatable. I live on the Oregon coast, super touristy with loads of good food and bars, but ever since my ex and I separated back in 2020 I have gone out to eat or drink with friends and family exactly ZERO times. When my sister in laws parents came out from Idaho in June they asked if I had anywhere I’d recommend they go see or do while here and I had to tell them I spend most my time drinking alone at my house lol
Everyone is different, of course, and to some this might sound brutal, but the easiest way to overcome an alcohol addiction might just be the ' cold turkey method ' It's remarkable how easy it is to not drink. Addiction is when ' One's too many, but a thousand's not enough !'
Keep up the good fight. I have all those struggles too. I know I should put myself out there but it's so hard for me. I am only taking small steps. If I change my mindset that would help a lot but that takes time. People have a habitual way of looking at the world and themselves and it takes time to change it.
Don't worry so much, most people are doing stupid, boring crap, and most people are annoying or dull to be with. I saw a labor day picnic, a bunch of people standing in a park chewing. You're not really missing anything, you just think you are and that feeling will never go away no matter what you do.
Chat to neighbours and locals, visit shopping centres the important thing is to connect, find people who has similar interests, maybe even join a club, even think about doing some study or take a job no matter what it is. All these aspects should help to improve your outlook on life in general.
She's a pretty lady if she wants friends and a boyfriend it would be easy. she won't even see your comment. why do you think women love internet attention she's not a ugly fat girl who is too old. many guys are already very lonely and never make videos about it.
As far as the coloring goes, I used to have the same problem, I still do. But I knew I had an artist in me, I just couldn't find my medium. Then I discovered literal magic in sculpting concrete. Water magic. If I focused my will upon what I wanted to create while I mixed the water into the concrete by hand, I charged it with my will. I'd pour a slug with it and carve it a couple of days later. As I carved it, my hands, eyes and the stone entered a sort of magical communion, it would reveal the surfaces to me as I carved, I only needed to remove what did not belong. Later I realized I could free sculpt with it as well, but I needed to focus my intentions to the water in the media and charge it. Michelangelo used to say the sculptures were already in the marble, he just removed what did not belong. Fresh quarried marble is easier to carve because it retains water, as the marble ages it loses the water and hardens. Michelangelo used to spend months going to his studio, staring at a block of marble. He was imagining what he could sculpt, and charging the raw marble with his will. We are creatures of mostly water. Water has both memory and intelligence. We can commune with it. We can do magic with it. Whether we are happy or sad is simply a state of mind. If you wish to alter the way you experience the world, just choose to make your day happy. Don't go seeking it. BE it. It's a state of mind, you can't be happy until you make the commitment to put yourself in a happy frame of mind. Play music you love and dance a little each morning, start the day with a smile. Choose to love and appreciate yourself for who you are instead of comparing your life to others and finding yourself somehow lacking. Most people are faking it. You're trying to be genuine in finding your path. That's a hell of a good start! Be happy that you have the desire to be a better person, and in making a commitment to being happy, you will find what makes you happy. That's when the demons and energy vampires come in, trying to wrestle you back into their snares so they can siphon you and drain your energy. Aye, we're in the Matrix, that's how they consume our energy, by keeping us sad and feeling alone, keeping us engaged in tragedy, bad news and doom-scrolling, poisoning our water and our toothpaste to make us spiritually blind. Religions want to be the middle man to god, telling you what to believe and how you should think and act, who to vote for and how much money you should give them. The Divine don't need any middlemen. I'm a pagan priest, I've been through it in my life. I have discovered that everything is more fun if you have a friend to share it with. Life is hollow without some happy companionship. Being happy is how I flip off the monsters that want to destroy me. I control my life, my path, my mood, and my destiny, not them. I'm still alone, but I love myself and I love good people everywhere, and I have faith in our Divine Parents, so I get by. I just embrace my inner child and play, learning new things every day. God isn't something "out there." The Divine energy is in the hearts of each of us. Welcome the Divine Parents into your heart, they will make the compass of your heart stronger. Then just follow the compass of your heart, it knows the way. Consult it often, it knows right from wrong. Oh, and, welcome to the club, you're going the right way, don't give up.🙂👍
I relate about how u feel, i used to feel like you last year, and i start to enjoy the smalls things of life and all just disapears. But everyone has his own process.
Your videos are great and your life is as normal as mine. I give my critters their nightly small bowl of milk before bed...Some of us like the more real youtube channels...
i relate to the "too much freeedoM" in a sense. in my case it's more the possibility of doing anything bc i'm unemployed but also feeling constrained and like i can't actually do anything that requires too much money, etc. regarding travel i think changing the environment can be helpful to "force you to doing things". if you're in a new city, you're not "eating out alone", you're just eating out cause you're traveling lol. plenty of ppl eat out alone cause they travel for business etc. i think you're maybe too blackpilled on social stuff, like when you see someone out there being social w their friends it reminds you of how you barely have any friends, and it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. i think the way to solve that is to try to just people watch. and maybe make up stories in your head. overhear what people are talking about. i think if you pay attention outwards and remove yourself from the picture (stop comparing you vs them and just seeing "them") you start noticing how most of the time it is just mindless chatter, it's not people having deep conversations with their friends about existential stuff. how everyone's life is kinda boring when looked at with a certain perspective, but also how every life is also interesting in the same way. it occurs to me that maybe you could rely more on Kiwi for that. you can focus on her and start by finding new places to walk her that she could enjoy, trails that are accessible to dogs her size, shallow waterways/beaches/lakes, etc. do "spend a day with kiwi" instead of "spend a day with me", that way you're with us, we're all spending the day with kiwi that way, and you fill us in. maybe doing the traveling thing, but instead of framing it as sad solo travel, you focus on "dog friendly travel". you wouldn't be "solo traveling" after all. trying to find businesses that will receive kiwi with open arms, "sightseeing" but with her, etc.
Don't be embarrassed. It's your life. Do whatever you want. Read, coloring, travel, go out to eat, cook, WHATEVER!!!! Just don't ever give up on yourself 😊
The 3 body problem!! Nice! I am not a big scifi fan, but 3 years ago I literally could not put it down. I finished the three books in 2 weeks :D It is a great read!
Hey, I just turned 70 and live in the N. East part of country where we'll looking forward to cooler- cloudy depressing weather followed by snow, all following Labor Day. You on the other hand are an attractive, personable young woman who lives in an area where you can still soak up some sun, pet your dog and visit the beach. I urge you to try to consider the positive aspects of your life and realize there are people in worse shape than you . Yes, I realize that may be hard to do but please try-- before you know it you'll be older and you may even have more regrets than you do now. I believe you are more capable than you realize; I hope you find your passion for living and try to reach out to prevent your loneliness.
this thing is... I struggle with trying to find something to do after I retire and get so frustrated with not being able to come up with something and then I think to myself "Why do you have to have something to do anyway?? Why not just be??"
okay Erika hi. this is the first video I see of you. what I see is myself 5 years ago. I don't know you well of course but according to you you can entertain yourself pretty good so punishing yourself by doing little with others seems unnecessary to me. (your dog is a cutie btw). I am an introvert myself and if you accept that, stress falls from your shoulders, it's okay to be one. I hope you see this, be a little nice to yourself i believe in you❣
Ok so time to eliminate the limited belief structure :) let me help you think outside the box, I was just out in the SOCAL beach area up in newport for a month. I will tell you that it is time to try pickleball, go to the local courts it is a great scene don't be afraid to tell people your a beginner. Saw a lot of young ppl your age out there having a blast, it is a great social scene. No booze or expensive eateries. You will be hooked try it out :)
C'mon - have some confidence in yourself! And don't be so pessimistic! Like seeing the "glass" of life HALF EMPTY🎉! You're a pretty girl. Carry yourself like you are❤!
You're exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment in time. There are millions of people going through exactly what you're going through. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there but many people who watch this can relate and it helps them knowing they are not alone. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that we all have to fit into this cookie cutter way of life but in actually you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Find something interesting and try it out. Eventually you will discover yourself. Maybe try volunteering at an animal shelter or an old folks home. It would allow you to engage in compassion and gratitude which are key emotions for happiness. If you're religious at all you can also try going to church or praying. It helps a lot of people as well.
This is your best video ever I think and I’m only at 1:00. Wish you could see your videos the way I do …..little art pieces. Just call what you do ART….and keep moving. Its a good excuse.
As Jean-Paul Sartre once said "If you're lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." What he meant with this is that if you feel lonely when alone, it reflects a problem with the way you relate to yourself. If you can't find contentment within yourself, you will never be at peace with who you are.
IMHO, your closing comment is so detrimental to a person's psyche that it is woeful. Why didn't you at least try, to proffer some affirmation that would help to lift Erika's spirits, instead of plunging her further into despair ?
This is another incredibly depressing video. This is a real turn on. How could you not enjoy this sort of stuff. Super cool if you found a friend and did these terribly depressing videos as a joint effort. That would be a major achievement to achieve this level of disappointing living experience.
Make yourself a Salad with lots of Berries in it and pour some Yourself some vinaigrette salad dressing and that will set you in the mood for an exciting day
From the shape of your hands you are an artistic person so have you explored all avenues in that vein? Painting, music or acting? Many people are doing what you want to do and that is a travel vlog. So how about 'Travels with Kiwi?
hi erika, i'm 21 and right where you are. Your personality is hysterically similar to mine haha, you're really funny and neurotic. Just wanted to share how i dealt with the stress because i feel really behind in life too. I've found that putting your mental health first is paramount because it's going to be the foundation of your happiness meaning that focusing on anything else would be futile. It's important to find peace with yourself before pursuing any other goals, truly. It was also important for me to realize that everything in my own world may seem terrible, but that the reality is, for most people it is fine and that no matter what happens things will continue to be fine even considering the most drastic situations. In that I found some peace myself. wish i could help more but i don't really know you outside of this video. Try not to catastrophize things though. I think you're probably doing a lot better than you think, there's no reasonable excuse to be hard on yourself, truly. Take care and much love ❤
I'm not going to say the usual, "you've got so much going for you". That really doesn't help and can only make you feel guilty or crazy. I will say that I am worried about ya! Reach out to someone face to face or over the phone. Social isolation only makes things feel heavier. You've got this and the future will be good I have no doubt. Also, it takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable. That's a strength for sure!
Erika: Thanks again for sharing some moments of your life with us. Your experience is the typical life that most of us experience unless there is someone constantly telling us what to do and when to do it. The difference is that you somehow expect more from life. Fair enough. I have been traveling the world non-stop for over nine years now. The one thing that I can tell you is that, no matter where you go, you take "yourself" there with you. So, if you are unhappy in general, then you'll still be unhappy but in a new, strange place where (potentially) no one speaks your language or appreciates your culture. However, if you are the adventurous type who loves to experience new things, try new foods, is "quite" flexible and easy going, and who understands that other cultures can be (and often are) quite different from your own, and wants to "Learn" those cultures (and not Judge them), then yes. Otherwise, you'll just be going around the world complaining about how they don't do things how you believe that they should be doing it, how their food is "weird", how hardly any of them speak your language in their country, etc. and if you are unhappy now, you'll be miserable then! Going around the world you can see / learn how lucky you are / have been and how much you Do have versus over 90% of the rest of the world. It can be a humbling experience (was for me) or make you feel "superior" to them. Or a little of both. Good luck with everything. I hope that you'll find what you at least Like, sooner rather than later.
She is a very pretty women She only wants attention why doesn't she try to get a boyfriend and be normal and be social with other girls she is pathetic I'm ugly and short if I ask a girl out I really think she'll reject me and I have missing teeth. I'm not complaining but women love to make videos how they are lonely or have no friends give me a damn break she's pretty.
What up Erika? I always notice those handsome book shelves in the background. Care to share any of your favorites? Or at least what kind of stuff you like to read. Have a good one!
when i was a young man i was too much perfectionist.i painted and no happy about the result i breaked the canvas.i have accepted too the not moments for ammeliorate me instead to pretend and things was better...we are not machines.....look at yourself with understanding, humanity and compassion and things go be better
Lmaoooo I feel exactly the same about coffee. I'm currently quitting. I just make my own and put like half a small spoon of coffee. Eventually it will just be milk, or maybe I'll add eggs or something that will actually give me energy instead of just causing anxiety
Just my opinion, but you are inviting us to join you on an average day of your life, and if people find it uninteresting or boring, that’s okay. You are doing YOU, and that is what matters. Personally, I love your videos and think your daily life is awesome!
You remind me a lot of my younger self. Try to start everyday with gratitude for the things that you do have in your life however small they may seem and you might have an easier time attracting the things you aspire to have. Don't waste your time comparing yourself to others for comparison is the thief of joy and often times things might look great for other people from the outside looking in but in reality it might not be as great as it seems.
I have been lately diagnosed with high functioning borderline personality disorder and while I know it might sound absolutely random or outright offensive I recommend you try looking into that diagnosis too. I can relate to you so much that I find it almost odd. I feel like I can sense the pain you are holding in. I admire your courage to battle your troubles your own way. In case you read this I wish you best of luck with your endeavours!
Strange, I feel the same...almost always. I missed the past when I was more social and there were things which I enjoyed. Now I feel like nothing brings me joy, everything seems as a chore. =/
I love your necklace. I looked back on my life where everyone was doing something more and being productive. I have a social issue . I think to myself it is a journey. I can say u don’t become a different person as u age , the negative focus might change. My days are just like u . Late 40s. I enjoy spend my boring day with u 🤣❤️last stuff made sense.
Just keep doing something and eventually you'll find something worthwhile. Reading, talking to others, finding a hobby, creating something new, planning something, even small things, for the future. I know it's within you. So, your assignment for today is to find it and make it happen. Easy, peasy, right?
I love your "real life" vlogs, it makes you relatable. I wish we could be friends and hangout, but I live in Indiana. 😢 I can't believe you didn't go get BBQ for Labor Day, but I guess that is more of a Memorial Day/ Fourth of July thing.
Maybe you should try living in a community appartement... There is always someone arround and if you wanna be alone go to your room. I liked it a lot when I was younger.
The constant question. "How do I activate myself?" I think you are doing pretty well at that. Some of us that are at 100% pace most of the time would need some of your "down time" to recharge I think. I agree with most of what you say. Good luck from northern Sweden. :)
I like such content, where you do whatever and talk what you think. I dont recommend using coffee, and being at the beach... I think you can maybe consciously appreciate some thing like beach, dog.
When you were washing the pan and you going in one direction then all of a sudden you went the other direction… holy crap that was awesome lol. But seriously your videos are good. 15,000 subscribers see something they like about you. Hang in there👍
Every time you think that your life is boring, think about that there is thousands of people whoms higlights of the day is watching your life... 😂❤🇸🇪
I will be 75 in a few days and have had a long working life. I still work full time because I have to. I do enjoy my work as an immigration lawyer but it is quite stressful at times. It is hard for me to understand your life situation. You live in a nice looking home near a southern California beach, and all your material needs are (apparently) taken care of. You are a physically beautiful woman with a pleasant, open personality. Yet, you are afflicted with a crippling self-isolation (except for this channel) and an apparent inability to connect with people and find a purpose in life. Channeling David Byrne in "Once in a Lifetime," "Well, how did [you] get here?" I believe it would help your followers (me included) understand and possibly help you better if you discussed that in an upload. The one thing I can suggest at this point is that helping others is a good way to find purpose in one's life, to fill that existential void. Been there, done that, It's the only way I have found to discover purpose in my own existence. All the best and no disrespect intended!
It seems Erika is someone who thrives in her own company and there's nothing wrong with that.She doesn't need other people to feel fulfilled but,for someone so young,she does seem quite jaded.
@@jolyonholloway483 A lady that pretty I don't care how jaded she seems. i think she only wants attention I am disliking this video I have been lonely for years and it's difficult for me to make friends or get a girlfriend I hate being alone but I know how short I am and how ugly I am.
She's an actress playing a role. Don't be so gullible when surfing the interwebs. TH-cam is ENTERTAINMENT, and free entertainment at that! Stop assuming what you're viewing is anything more than fiction.
Or helping animals that's an awesome way😊
@@Marty_TH-camr It is possible to be alone without being lonely which is my situation but appearance isn't everything and there is a woman for you if you look.
She's relatable. She talks about things everyone does, but that they won't admit to.
This is why I'm drawn to her channel
Pretty much
People always forget that perfection is unobtainable but social media portrays perfection like its normal. Someone posted a picture on my instagram reel of a dozen guys taking instagram pictures of their girlfriends. Mind you they were not friends or related at all. Just a picture showing the beach and water meeting and all the way down the beach were dudes on their knees taking pictures with professional cameras of girls in bikinis all holding their hand out like the were holding the sun. It was really kinda sad to see. Instead of interacting with each other and starting a party or playing beach volleyball they are all alone, even right next to each other, taking pictures for people they will never see to get them likes and clicks on their ads.
You have a ton of stuff to be thankful for and going for you. The only thing holding you back is you. Just live, love, enjoy life. Own it!
Completely agree and you don't need to be with someone in order to enjoy life. I felt similar to how you felt when I was your age. I am a very introvert type person that often prefers not to be with a lot of people but I don't let that hold me back in going out and enjoying stuff on my own if I can't find someone to hang out with. Also learn to appreciate what you have as where I live, I see a lot of less fortunate people out in the streets.
Hi Erika, at this point you should ask yourself: "why do I upload videos?" do you like sharing your day to day? do you enjoy reading your comments? what do you get out of it? I can tell you you DO help others with these videos because a lot of us can relate to your life. Life is not what you see in IG and that's OK.
One of the best videos I've come across. You have a great talent for making these videos. Excellent balance and focus, sound is great very understandable and intelligible, very good editing that makes watching the video easy to watch. You don't spend too much time on any particular experience to the point that it gets boring.
What a beautiful Viking princess 💗Xx
VERY ENJOYABLE VIDEO I WATCHED IT WHILE I WAS DOING LESS THAN YOU WERE DOING!!! AND THAT WAS RIGHT BEFORE
I BECAME VERY SLEEPY AT AROUND 5PM SO IT'S NAP TIME!!! STAY COOL STAY CHILL NEVER CHANGE!!! PEACE!!!
I swear, your life, is ALOT like mine. Just in a different part of the country. Cheers to you!
How about a tour of your bookshelf? Plenty to talk about there!
The majority of what you've said here resonates with me... probably a bit more than I'd like. When all you've got is alone time, going out and doing stuff alone to avoid being alone by yourself... isn't a heck of a lot different than just staying home. You're surrounded by people, but they're all busy with their lives and walk on by. And it seems like people can usually detect if you're not feeling 100%, and they avoid accordingly. Traveling alone? I don't get much out of it, and I generally end up driving faster, stopping less, and when I do stop, I feel like I'm forcing myself to pretend I'm enjoying the diversion. It's just so much better when you've got somebody to talk to, form ideas with... and later, you can always go: "Hey. Do you remember that one time we were in Myrtle Point, and that guy who looked like Billy Mays hydroplaned his mobility scooter into the bay?" Sometimes it's nice to have time alone when you do have a decent social life, but solitude on top of emptiness can put you in the weeds.
Ideas for future videos: I liked your excursion into real estate window shopping and the resultant commentary. As others have stated, your wit and brand of humor are noteworthy. I'm detecting quite a bit more depth and intelligence than you may be giving yourself credit for (you know what wainscoting is, FTW). It would be cool to hear a bit more about your earlier life. Have you had times in your life where you were happier, had more close friends, and felt like things were going well? I know you were kind of reserved about things that lead up to your move to California, so I dunno if you're comfortable going there. I hope you don't bail on this and delete... I'm pretty choosy on the content I consume, and even more so on what I'll comment on. Your stuff is relatable, and it does help to know that I'm not the only human going through the motions until I can hopefully find (or stumble into) my place. Try to hang in there!
If you only know how entertaining you are just doing nothing it's awesome .
I like your videos because it's real it's raw it's you, nothing fake about you this is how 95 % of us live just bored and having nothing going on
Thanks for the glimpse, Erika! You've got some fans here, and we do appreciate your video blog, so don't worry about what you post, just keep posting, you're good! Hope you have a Blessed week ahead!!!
Watching your video Erika as I tend my Olivia Austin Rose garden by David Austin Roses as I also pour me a glass of Limoncello and a slice of Breton Pastry..by the way nice dog.
Everything is relative. 200 people were shot all at once together by the Russians in Ukraine today. You have a nice place to live with a beach and a neat dogo named Kiwi.
You also get to have clean clothes and cook your own good food. You have many blessings. And you are staying out of trouble. You are still young enough you don't necessarily need to be hindered by drama from other people.
And you just mentioned your family. You were visibly happy when they visited. You are greatly blessed.😂
It just dawned on me, you are living the life of a retiree 50 years early😮. Congratulations! You can spend your time doing anything you want. 😊
You are fine and I find that you are normal and special. You have a lot of time to enjoy doing nothing, just do whatever whenever, it's your life let it be.
Clam And Nice
"No matter where you go... There you are." Anything, anywhere, any time can be a vacation. Vacation is a state of mind. I mean, I go on vacation at least twice a day.
Erika, your life is not sad, it is normal. It is how we react to the situations that show who we are. You are real and honest. Think about all the things that you have gone through. All the things that hurt, made you unhappy, made you question your self worth. Now think of the things that you have accomplished, you built, and improved upon. For instance; your editing, the subscribers to your channel, and the people you have helped that you may never get to know. Think about how happy Kiwi is when you walk through the door.
You have come a long way Erika from that first video to now. You Erika are a resilient woman.
Take care Erika, and remember perfection is not the goal, progress is.
Your Friend
Man, the “I can’t recommend anywhere to go around here to family/friends” rant is crazy relatable. I live on the Oregon coast, super touristy with loads of good food and bars, but ever since my ex and I separated back in 2020 I have gone out to eat or drink with friends and family exactly ZERO times. When my sister in laws parents came out from Idaho in June they asked if I had anywhere I’d recommend they go see or do while here and I had to tell them I spend most my time drinking alone at my house lol
Everyone is different, of course, and to some this might sound brutal, but the easiest way to overcome an alcohol addiction might just be the ' cold turkey method ' It's remarkable how easy it is to not drink. Addiction is when ' One's too many, but a thousand's not enough !'
Keep up the good fight. I have all those struggles too. I know I should put myself out there but it's so hard for me. I am only taking small steps. If I change my mindset that would help a lot but that takes time. People have a habitual way of looking at the world and themselves and it takes time to change it.
Don't worry so much, most people are doing stupid, boring crap, and most people are annoying or dull to be with.
I saw a labor day picnic, a bunch of people standing in a park chewing.
You're not really missing anything, you just think you are and that feeling will never go away no matter what you do.
Young n Beautiful, very relatable! Showing the real side of most fortunate humans able to live. 💞
Chat to neighbours and locals, visit shopping centres the important thing is to connect, find people who has similar interests, maybe even join a club, even think about doing some study or take a job no matter what it is. All these aspects should help to improve your outlook on life in general.
She's a pretty lady if she wants friends and a boyfriend it would be easy. she won't even see your comment. why do you think women love internet attention she's not a ugly fat girl who is too old. many guys are already very lonely and never make videos about it.
the problem with doing nothing is, you never know when you are done!^^
enjoying the 4th wall breaks..."why am I sitting her talking about how many corn chips are on the couch".
As far as the coloring goes, I used to have the same problem, I still do. But I knew I had an artist in me, I just couldn't find my medium. Then I discovered literal magic in sculpting concrete. Water magic. If I focused my will upon what I wanted to create while I mixed the water into the concrete by hand, I charged it with my will. I'd pour a slug with it and carve it a couple of days later. As I carved it, my hands, eyes and the stone entered a sort of magical communion, it would reveal the surfaces to me as I carved, I only needed to remove what did not belong. Later I realized I could free sculpt with it as well, but I needed to focus my intentions to the water in the media and charge it.
Michelangelo used to say the sculptures were already in the marble, he just removed what did not belong. Fresh quarried marble is easier to carve because it retains water, as the marble ages it loses the water and hardens. Michelangelo used to spend months going to his studio, staring at a block of marble. He was imagining what he could sculpt, and charging the raw marble with his will.
We are creatures of mostly water. Water has both memory and intelligence. We can commune with it. We can do magic with it.
Whether we are happy or sad is simply a state of mind. If you wish to alter the way you experience the world, just choose to make your day happy. Don't go seeking it. BE it. It's a state of mind, you can't be happy until you make the commitment to put yourself in a happy frame of mind. Play music you love and dance a little each morning, start the day with a smile. Choose to love and appreciate yourself for who you are instead of comparing your life to others and finding yourself somehow lacking. Most people are faking it. You're trying to be genuine in finding your path. That's a hell of a good start! Be happy that you have the desire to be a better person, and in making a commitment to being happy, you will find what makes you happy. That's when the demons and energy vampires come in, trying to wrestle you back into their snares so they can siphon you and drain your energy. Aye, we're in the Matrix, that's how they consume our energy, by keeping us sad and feeling alone, keeping us engaged in tragedy, bad news and doom-scrolling, poisoning our water and our toothpaste to make us spiritually blind. Religions want to be the middle man to god, telling you what to believe and how you should think and act, who to vote for and how much money you should give them. The Divine don't need any middlemen. I'm a pagan priest, I've been through it in my life. I have discovered that everything is more fun if you have a friend to share it with. Life is hollow without some happy companionship. Being happy is how I flip off the monsters that want to destroy me. I control my life, my path, my mood, and my destiny, not them. I'm still alone, but I love myself and I love good people everywhere, and I have faith in our Divine Parents, so I get by. I just embrace my inner child and play, learning new things every day. God isn't something "out there." The Divine energy is in the hearts of each of us. Welcome the Divine Parents into your heart, they will make the compass of your heart stronger. Then just follow the compass of your heart, it knows the way. Consult it often, it knows right from wrong. Oh, and, welcome to the club, you're going the right way, don't give up.🙂👍
Love that you're trying new things. I found a lot of this interesting. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
OMG! She is soooo beautiful!!!
right? I'm actually gob shocked how she doesn't have a plus one yet, she has a calm demeanor and she so radiant.
I relate about how u feel, i used to feel like you last year, and i start to enjoy the smalls things of life and all just disapears. But everyone has his own process.
Your videos are great and your life is as normal as mine. I give my critters their nightly small bowl of milk before bed...Some of us like the more real youtube channels...
im just some dude from czech republic and i have no idea how yt recommend me this but this gold and real and i like your vibe. subbed
i relate to the "too much freeedoM" in a sense. in my case it's more the possibility of doing anything bc i'm unemployed but also feeling constrained and like i can't actually do anything that requires too much money, etc.
regarding travel i think changing the environment can be helpful to "force you to doing things". if you're in a new city, you're not "eating out alone", you're just eating out cause you're traveling lol. plenty of ppl eat out alone cause they travel for business etc.
i think you're maybe too blackpilled on social stuff, like when you see someone out there being social w their friends it reminds you of how you barely have any friends, and it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. i think the way to solve that is to try to just people watch. and maybe make up stories in your head. overhear what people are talking about. i think if you pay attention outwards and remove yourself from the picture (stop comparing you vs them and just seeing "them") you start noticing how most of the time it is just mindless chatter, it's not people having deep conversations with their friends about existential stuff. how everyone's life is kinda boring when looked at with a certain perspective, but also how every life is also interesting in the same way.
it occurs to me that maybe you could rely more on Kiwi for that. you can focus on her and start by finding new places to walk her that she could enjoy, trails that are accessible to dogs her size, shallow waterways/beaches/lakes, etc. do "spend a day with kiwi" instead of "spend a day with me", that way you're with us, we're all spending the day with kiwi that way, and you fill us in.
maybe doing the traveling thing, but instead of framing it as sad solo travel, you focus on "dog friendly travel". you wouldn't be "solo traveling" after all. trying to find businesses that will receive kiwi with open arms, "sightseeing" but with her, etc.
Loving it.
Don't be embarrassed. It's your life. Do whatever you want. Read, coloring, travel, go out to eat, cook, WHATEVER!!!! Just don't ever give up on yourself 😊
The 3 body problem!! Nice! I am not a big scifi fan, but 3 years ago I literally could not put it down. I finished the three books in 2 weeks :D It is a great read!
Focus on the good things, you’re alive, you’re healthy, you have a place to live and food.
BTW I love the little Frenchie dog. 😍
My advice to you is to look for a job, not because you need one, but because it will give you something to do and you will meet people.
Hey, I just turned 70 and live in the N. East part of country where we'll looking forward to cooler- cloudy depressing weather followed by snow, all following Labor Day. You on the other hand are an attractive, personable young woman who lives in an area where you can still soak up some sun, pet your dog and visit the beach. I urge you to try to consider the positive aspects of your life and realize there are people in worse shape than you . Yes, I realize that may be hard to do but please try-- before you know it you'll be older and you may even have more regrets than you do now. I believe you are more capable than you realize; I hope you find your passion for living and try to reach out to prevent your loneliness.
this thing is... I struggle with trying to find something to do after I retire and get so frustrated with not being able to come up with something and then I think to myself "Why do you have to have something to do anyway?? Why not just be??"
okay Erika hi. this is the first video I see of you. what I see is myself 5 years ago. I don't know you well of course but according to you you can entertain yourself pretty good so punishing yourself by doing little with others seems unnecessary to me. (your dog is a cutie btw). I am an introvert myself and if you accept that, stress falls from your shoulders, it's okay to be one. I hope you see this, be a little nice to yourself i believe in you❣
You are young, good looking, and have a dog...a pretty good start to living the dream...you will get there.
This is my favorite!
😍😘🥰 I'm new here!!
Are there book stores and author readings and book clubs? What’s your book list?
Awesome video 😊
I can't wait for the day that Erika opens a video with a big smile and says, hey everyone, I met this really nice guy today_____🙆
I don't know about you so much but your pooch is having a great day
You are an inspiration to Carlos Santana Europa Earth's Cry Heaven smile
Just marked 'Do nothing' off my daily tado list
Check the air in your tires. I noticed when you were at the drive up the TPMS warning light on the dash was lit.
Ok so time to eliminate the limited belief structure :) let me help you think outside the box, I was just out in the SOCAL beach area up in newport for a month. I will tell you that it is time to try pickleball, go to the local courts it is a great scene don't be afraid to tell people your a beginner. Saw a lot of young ppl your age out there having a blast, it is a great social scene. No booze or expensive eateries. You will be hooked try it out :)
C'mon - have some confidence in yourself! And don't be so pessimistic! Like seeing the "glass" of life HALF EMPTY🎉!
You're a pretty girl. Carry yourself like you are❤!
You're exactly where you are supposed to be at this moment in time. There are millions of people going through exactly what you're going through. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there but many people who watch this can relate and it helps them knowing they are not alone. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that we all have to fit into this cookie cutter way of life but in actually you can do whatever you want whenever you want. Find something interesting and try it out. Eventually you will discover yourself. Maybe try volunteering at an animal shelter or an old folks home. It would allow you to engage in compassion and gratitude which are key emotions for happiness. If you're religious at all you can also try going to church or praying. It helps a lot of people as well.
This is your best video ever I think and I’m only at 1:00. Wish you could see your videos the way I do …..little art pieces. Just call what you do ART….and keep moving. Its a good excuse.
As Jean-Paul Sartre once said "If you're lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company." What he meant with this is that if you feel lonely when alone, it reflects a problem with the way you relate to yourself. If you can't find contentment within yourself, you will never be at peace with who you are.
IMHO, your closing comment is so detrimental to a person's psyche that it is woeful. Why didn't you at least try, to proffer some affirmation that would help to lift Erika's spirits, instead of plunging her further into despair ?
If that was turkey bacon... you're fired 🥱
These videos feel so old school TH-cam. When people just made videos for fun, not to "feed the algorithm".
Erika, this channel is Gold.
Ur too tough on urself.
Fascinating, 10 out of 10 would binge the full season in one go. This is what I originally thought MTV's The Real World would be like.
Don’t apologize Erika it’s all relatable!! Just keep being yourself. Love from Sydney
This is another incredibly depressing video. This is a real turn on. How could you not enjoy this sort of stuff. Super cool if you found a friend and did these terribly depressing videos as a joint effort. That would be a major achievement to achieve this level of disappointing living experience.
You’re my new number 1 neighbor I wish I had! Always interesting even doing not much. Can’t wait to see what life delivers
Does anyone know what kind of work Erika does? Not sure if she ever mentioned it, but I forgot...
Maybe it's because you're cooking on Teflon which is very dangerous😊
Make yourself a Salad with lots of Berries in it and pour some Yourself some vinaigrette salad dressing and that will set you in the mood for an exciting day
Thank you for sharing your days with us. Hugs to you. 🤗
If you have a sad life then most of us have a sad life ;)
From the shape of your hands you are an artistic person so have you explored all avenues in that vein? Painting, music or acting? Many people are doing what you want to do and that is a travel vlog. So how about 'Travels with Kiwi?
Somehow I find this video very inspiring I like the way it's concluding. Major big-time redemption going on
hi erika, i'm 21 and right where you are. Your personality is hysterically similar to mine haha, you're really funny and neurotic. Just wanted to share how i dealt with the stress because i feel really behind in life too. I've found that putting your mental health first is paramount because it's going to be the foundation of your happiness meaning that focusing on anything else would be futile. It's important to find peace with yourself before pursuing any other goals, truly. It was also important for me to realize that everything in my own world may seem terrible, but that the reality is, for most people it is fine and that no matter what happens things will continue to be fine even considering the most drastic situations. In that I found some peace myself.
wish i could help more but i don't really know you outside of this video. Try not to catastrophize things though. I think you're probably doing a lot better than you think, there's no reasonable excuse to be hard on yourself, truly. Take care and much love ❤
I'm not going to say the usual, "you've got so much going for you". That really doesn't help and can only make you feel guilty or crazy. I will say that I am worried about ya! Reach out to someone face to face or over the phone. Social isolation only makes things feel heavier. You've got this and the future will be good I have no doubt. Also, it takes a lot of courage to allow yourself to be vulnerable. That's a strength for sure!
But you DID say " you've got so much going for you " !!
Start doing reaction videos. Say on philosophers of the enlightenment maybe? Everybody loves an intellectual.
That breakfast sandwich looked really good. I got hungry just see it and even though I had breakfast about an hour before I had to go make myself one.
Erika: Thanks again for sharing some moments of your life with us. Your experience is the typical life that most of us experience unless there is someone constantly telling us what to do and when to do it. The difference is that you somehow expect more from life. Fair enough. I have been traveling the world non-stop for over nine years now. The one thing that I can tell you is that, no matter where you go, you take "yourself" there with you. So, if you are unhappy in general, then you'll still be unhappy but in a new, strange place where (potentially) no one speaks your language or appreciates your culture. However, if you are the adventurous type who loves to experience new things, try new foods, is "quite" flexible and easy going, and who understands that other cultures can be (and often are) quite different from your own, and wants to "Learn" those cultures (and not Judge them), then yes. Otherwise, you'll just be going around the world complaining about how they don't do things how you believe that they should be doing it, how their food is "weird", how hardly any of them speak your language in their country, etc. and if you are unhappy now, you'll be miserable then!
Going around the world you can see / learn how lucky you are / have been and how much you Do have versus over 90% of the rest of the world. It can be a humbling experience (was for me) or make you feel "superior" to them. Or a little of both.
Good luck with everything. I hope that you'll find what you at least Like, sooner rather than later.
She is a very pretty women She only wants attention why doesn't she try to get a boyfriend and be normal and be social with other girls she is pathetic I'm ugly and short if I ask a girl out I really think she'll reject me and I have missing teeth. I'm not complaining but women love to make videos how they are lonely or have no friends give me a damn break she's pretty.
What up Erika? I always notice those handsome book shelves in the background. Care to share any of your favorites? Or at least what kind of stuff you like to read. Have a good one!
You’re so beautiful & amazing ❤❤❤❤❤❤
Your tan is coming along nicely ❤
when i was a young man i was too much perfectionist.i painted and no happy about the result i breaked the canvas.i have accepted too the not moments for ammeliorate me instead to pretend and things was better...we are not machines.....look at yourself with understanding, humanity and compassion and things go be better
Lmaoooo I feel exactly the same about coffee. I'm currently quitting. I just make my own and put like half a small spoon of coffee. Eventually it will just be milk, or maybe I'll add eggs or something that will actually give me energy instead of just causing anxiety
your too young too supermodel material to BE this sad. you are beautifully and wonderfully made thats what GOD says about you. you are ONE OF A KIND!
I like it all. Do a music or movie reaction. You're doing fine at 22.
Just my opinion, but you are inviting us to join you on an average day of your life, and if people find it uninteresting or boring, that’s okay. You are doing YOU, and that is what matters. Personally, I love your videos and think your daily life is awesome!
So cool a Beach 🏖️⛱️ all too yourself 😎😁 eeeeeeeeeeeeehaw I'll join Ya'
You remind me a lot of my younger self. Try to start everyday with gratitude for the things that you do have in your life however small they may seem and you might have an easier time attracting the things you aspire to have. Don't waste your time comparing yourself to others for comparison is the thief of joy and often times things might look great for other people from the outside looking in but in reality it might not be as great as it seems.
Your dog is cute.❤ Just be open to the flow of whatever happens.
I have been lately diagnosed with high functioning borderline personality disorder and while I know it might sound absolutely random or outright offensive I recommend you try looking into that diagnosis too. I can relate to you so much that I find it almost odd. I feel like I can sense the pain you are holding in. I admire your courage to battle your troubles your own way. In case you read this I wish you best of luck with your endeavours!
Strange, I feel the same...almost always.
I missed the past when I was more social and there were things which I enjoyed.
Now I feel like nothing brings me joy, everything seems as a chore. =/
It is within yourself to find joy in life. Keep striving !!
I love your necklace. I looked back on my life where everyone was doing something more and being productive. I have a social issue .
I think to myself it is a journey. I can say u don’t become a different person as u age , the negative focus might change.
My days are just like u . Late 40s. I enjoy spend my boring day with u 🤣❤️last stuff made sense.
Just keep doing something and eventually you'll find something worthwhile. Reading, talking to others, finding a hobby, creating something new, planning something, even small things, for the future. I know it's within you. So, your assignment for today is to find it and make it happen. Easy, peasy, right?
I love your "real life" vlogs, it makes you relatable. I wish we could be friends and hangout, but I live in Indiana. 😢 I can't believe you didn't go get BBQ for Labor Day, but I guess that is more of a Memorial Day/ Fourth of July thing.
Maybe you should try living in a community appartement... There is always someone arround and if you wanna be alone go to your room. I liked it a lot when I was younger.
The constant question. "How do I activate myself?" I think you are doing pretty well at that. Some of us that are at 100% pace most of the time would need some of your "down time" to recharge I think. I agree with most of what you say. Good luck from northern Sweden. :)
It would be cool to have Talking Heads Watching the Days Go By as Background music 🎶😂!
We do love you! Even boring things!
I usually check comments after your vids..all kinds of suggestions, ideas, possibilities, etc.. 👍
decaf makes you feel jittery?
I like such content, where you do whatever and talk what you think. I dont recommend using coffee, and being at the beach... I think you can maybe consciously appreciate some thing like beach, dog.
What beautiful day ... 🙄
When you were washing the pan and you going in one direction then all of a sudden you went the other direction… holy crap that was awesome lol.
But seriously your videos are good. 15,000 subscribers see something they like about you. Hang in there👍