Mirror, I'm in kind of ur situation too but mine is more complicated as atleast you are okay with the boy. My parents want me to say yes for a guy. I'm 23 years old and want to get married after completing my studies and financial independent. For this they reply we gonna find you in-laws who let you continue ur studies and work later on. To this i reply is there any guarantee? I have even given them example of one of my friend who got married last year and before marriage her in-laws were ok of her being continuing her studies but now they are not happy with her studies want her to do household works and take care of family only. But my parents said to this "Har koi aisa nahi hota, humne unse pucha hai padhi likhi family hai toh unko teri padhai se koi problem ni hai". And second problem i have with this RISHTA is the family is joint family. And i don't want to get marry in joint family to which my mother reply you are such a selfish person who just think about herself and have no respect and love for family and elders. I have problem with boy too. He is 26 and not yet independent and pursuing D. Pharma and through his instagram i found out that he is a social person and i don't think he's mature.... And the person i want for myself should be independent, mature and private person not a social media addict. And the reason why my parents forcing me to say yes coz His father is a well known, reputed and wealthy man.
Just listen to your heart , if it says no then have courage to take stand ...I m a girl with similar situation as yours but I m few years elder to you but the first rishta my parents got and when I met the boy I was 25 and I decided to take stand for myself ...and trust me kuch farak nahi padta hai , ek baat yaad rakhna duniya dabti hai bas dabane wala chahiye , parents to kya PM bhi chukte hain bas jhukane wala chahiye ...agar ladka nahi pasand to back off kar lo ...and 23 is not the age to get married , marrying before 25 is not a nice idea in today's scenario , complete your studies , start earning , make new friends , travel and explore the world ( this is what you should be doing at the age of 23 and not getting married ) ...aur rahi baat padhai ki after marriage to 60/70 % log shaadi k baad baby ka pressure dalne lagte hain to studies to bhool hi jao
Say a hard NO! There are too many things. The guy is jobless, dependent on his family and you won’t have financial independence too. Do you think you will get any say in life at all??!! Ridiculous!! His father being well known and rich has no bearing on your life ahead. What stupid logic by your parents, and how very selfish…they are just looking for social validation. And they are calling you selfish? For what? Not wanting to throw away your entire life blindly trusting those who seem suspicious???!!! Stand your ground. Too many red flags.
Thats a Big NO. The red flags in your situaton are just immense as hell. Please dont ruin your life just for your parents stupid satisfaction OF YOU GETTING married in wealthy family
@@SmileWithPrachi first thank you so much prachi for highlighting this i know 100 of girls every day suffering from this stupid pressure by their parents and maybe through your comment they may feel motivated. And i have said no to my parents. But they want me to meet the boy and his family just for the one time. And I've already told them you want me to meet them fine i will go and gonna respect your words that you have given to them. But my reply and answer gonna be NO. He and his family is not someone whom i want in my life. And as of now they are saying OKAY. But even in future they again force me.... I know what to do and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin my life like this be it my parents too. And i want to address one more thing prachi i really appreciate if you mention this in your next video That parents might have more experience than their kids but they should also understand the child in his/her early or mid 20s might not have a experience like their parents but atleast they know what is good for them and what is not. Being parents you should be there to support your child. Not put your pressure on child he/she already facing so much in their lives. And Your child is not a property whom you sold whenever you want to. The child is a human being have emotions, expectations, dreams, crave for love. It is really sad now a days parents expect from their child to be like them and do whatever they want him/her to do. But they need to understand we are not living in early 70s where you ask your child to follow up everything you asked for just for the sake of being called "AAGYAKARI"
Sadly some Indian parents think the way if they pay the bills they are doing everything to their children. Their job is done . Nobody talks about emotional support which a child requires from them . Nobody can give the child more confidence than their own parents by their side even when they are grown ups. But truth being truth sadly not everyone think this way. It's not just about money it's about all kind of support you owe to your child you bring in this world knowingly.
@@amolyasingh7598 Madam it's not like i was against your words or said that in favour of parents. I just said an absolute fact, when couples become parents they should grow themselves into a fine support system and source of love for their children.
@@amolyasingh7598 so.f.true. my dad literally told me 'humne tujhe 25 Saal tak padhaya' as if paying education fees is the only responsibility as a caregiver 🤦
Mirror, take a note if they have a family history of mental illness. I don't mean to stigmatize mental health but do take this factor into consideration and decide if you're comfortable marrying into this family.
I often see parents spending so much money on their children's wedding(especially on daughter's wedding). Parents need to understand that spending on education is more important than spending on a wedding. If you want a grand wedding that's fine. But do you think it can help you in any way? The people you invite , do they really give blessings with good heart? Do they really want to demand grand wedding to eat unlimited food or to bless your child? Even when someone opts for simple marriage our community makes it a big issue. I request think before you spend huge amount of money.
Box, usually when I see the letters, even I try to come up with possible solutions for the writers but yours was so out of my mental capacity, kudos to Prachi for handling it so well, I don't even know you but I wish I could give you a hug, you have been through so much, I can't even imagine how it must have been to not be supported by the two people who are supposed to be your biggest supporters. With your trauma, I really think you have achieved so much in life and I hope you thrive! Also, consider therapy as Prachi said. Your trauma needs the attention.
Mirror: I don't think you should get married to this guy. If the mother is "eccentric" it doesn't bode well for marriage. and her condition may worsen.
Box, you're absolutely NOT a bad person. I'm sorry for what happened to you since childhood, it sounds very painful. I don't hold the position to tell you what to do but YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. And if you don't want to be in contact with your parents, it is absolutely okay.
Box: you seem to be yearning for your parents' approval even while being angry at their toxic behaviour. Don't be guilty for your anger. Call them up again, say if they give you space for your dream business, it should be done legally. Ask what they want in return. If the terms are suitable, agree. If not, you have your life and it's fine. If you agree to this office thing, maintain a distance between parents and your life. Trust does not come easily. Make your your parents earn your trust if they want you around.
Yes. And the keeping distance part is so important because you can again go though all the turmoil that you somehow managed to leave behind for so many years. It can totally take away your mental peace. So be careful in this part.
Hey guysss...THIS IS FOR ALL OF U..there is this little suggestion...why don't we people make a telegram group of this beautiful community..people are soo beautiful here..i mean they way you help each other....take out time for some strangers to write so that they can feel better by reading ...we all have our own stories to share....every week we wait for one week to ask each for solutions....there we can discuss it often....let me know ur views on this..
Hey box, don't be so harsh on yourself. I just want to share something which has helped me a lot that your whole life you weren't prioritised by anyone, but you need to prioritise yourself and your peace. If cutting off completely from your parents gives you peace of mind, by all means do that. Don't feel guilty for putting yourself first. And also, if you decide to give your parents another chance, it's okay too. It's your goddamn life. But make sure that your parents doesn't treat your child the way they treated you. You have to be absolutely strict on that. You don't want your children to face any trauma. Just breathe. God bless
Omg Prachi the thing you said about toxic parents and people telling you what to do just straight hit me I have been told a lot by people that I am overreacting that I should try fix the the relation with them but I am just tired if everything I started to think I might be the problem but what you said made me realise that my feelings are completely valid
to mirror, another thing you must consider about your mother-in-law's eccentricities is how these habits affect YOUR lifestyle. for example, you mentioned that she sleeps at 5 p.m. and wakes up in the middle of the night. this can cause you tremendous discomfort if the space you live in is small and you're a light sleeper, because she'll want to go about her routine activities as you sleep. if she's constantly talking to 'squirrels', it might not surprise you in the beginning, but if such things really get to you, your irritation towards her can snowball over time, and living with her might seem unbearable in the future. take into account all these habits of hers and see how they affect you. sometimes people overlook how someone's presence can affect their mood. in my first year of college, I had a roommate who was also a bit quirky. it didn't bother me when I first moved in but in about 3 months her behavior was driving me crazy.
Same thing happened to my elder sister, Just like the first case, her mother in law (now Deceased) used to follow this ritual or time table, where she Would go to sleep at 8 pm and would wake up at 3 in the night. They discussed this with my sister before marriage and assured it won't bother her. But after marriage it caused a lot of havoc in her life. Her mother in law used to chant mantras loudly throughout the house. While making tea, ironing her clothes, switching On all the lights of the house at 3 am. And my sister who was a working professional, got so disturbed by this. She couldn't have proper sleep. And on requesting her mother in law she said, they mentioned this earlier. During her pregnancy she stayed with us. There was so much disturbance my father didn't let her go.
Honestly covid surge suddenly created a mess in my life, I went to campus we were quarantined suddenly got too many positive cases in campus, we were sent back after 10 days with an emergency notice. All these travelling and huge amount of expenditure suddenly shook me. Touchwood with god's grace my parents could afford expenses on such a short period of time but there are people who suffered and yes above everything we had to go through too much stress. I'm having exam after one week and it's not yet finalized whether the exam would b held or postponed. Very messy situation still trying to calm myself with spiritual chantings and meditation.
Box I can relate to you😢 in some point..People will always have to say something they just want to poke their ass and give shit free advices You are not wrong.. Stay strong
Living at home for almost 2 years now has been hard, I have seen my mental health hitting rock bottom in 21 lockdown, even lost dear ones coz of covid and since then I have been working really hard on myself, I started studying seriously, I lost all my pandemic weight (10kgs), I do yoga, cut out toxic people and I still struggle but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. When Jan hit with restrictions, I was so scared that I will go back but I thrived and yes it's been very hard and I am so happy it's almost over now. I know people have had it even harder with losing their jobs, being far away from family, as much as I feel privileged to not have had those real life problems, I can't deny battling my own demons hasn't been tough and emotionally draining. I had to take a drop for medical entrances coz I couldn't and didn't study last two yrs, I feel guilty and frustrated but I try to take few steps each day in the direction of my goals and can't wait for the drop year to get over and the euphoria aka college to begin.
I actually lost most of my weight by limiting my carbs eg eating one roti per meal, having dal and dahi more, drinking 3L of water a day, and ofc 13-14 hrs Intermittent fasting. After my body reached a saturation point with this, I went on to do 30mins cardio a day, start low and build up the intensity for less cramps.
You grow so much in that age and marriage is not something for growing age its for "settled" age aka you are done with your education and have a stable job.
You shouldn’t be marrying at that age. I would suggest to marry after having knowledge about people and their behavior. First of all, you need to be independent and self employed, and then you can marry.
About Mirror i would've just said no! Like its not the problem if someone follows a some kind of ritual or has some habits. But this one just really seems odd. I've seen many documentries where people with some psycic problems or who have had gone through something in the past do some weird rituals(like this one) or you know they really have some strange habits. I mean not everytime a person follwing some particular rituals or habit makes them dangerous or psycopaths, but that might be a possibilty too! Just try taking out their history or anything like that, make sure u all are comfortable and happy!
I think to make you educated is more important rather than getting married Aur agar marriage Karni hai toh apne Piaso se Karo chahe crores ki Karo chahe lakhs ki
It's about my friend. She got engaged. It was all sudden she didn't get to know about that boy. she agreed because her family agreed and she thought one or the other day she has to get married. Boy is 32 years old and girl is 29 years. Boy's family made hurry in engagement. Now the issue is boy's job. He is waiting for government job, which is getting delayed or postponed from long time, currently he is working in one organisation salary is 12 k( about that also he himself not disclosed) . He is staying in village and says here salary is less also will be managed or says he will get that govt job but not sure when it will be confirmed or he will try in other city. It looks like whether he has not clarity or what?, Even though he and his family is good. She is getting worried if this is the case now what will be her future? Because he never opened up about his salary or future plans properly. He speaks about other things normally. She is worried after marriage how things will work or how he will take care of her? She already had family issues ( her father is not a responsible person he never took care of the family properly) so she doesn't want to suffer the same thing after marriage as well. She is getting worried whether to continue this relationship or not because already engagement is over marriage is in 2 months ( close relatives know abt this). At the same time she thinks is it too late or instead of suffering later should I end this?
Nah man if I was Mirror I would just run away from this family, I don't want to get involved with anyone who hosts dinner parties for dead people and acts so weird, it is a huge red flag, I'm sorry prachi di but I don't agree with you there is nothing such as she doesn't care about the world and that it's a big thumbs-up, she probably needs some help, know what you're getting into, let's not forget the burari case
I am a 30 Yr old guy... Of late my marriage was fixed... The thing is that me n family knew that the girl was a divorcee but still accepted the proposal since her parents said she was a victim as her husband was a drug addict... even though I had never married before and m the only child.. It was an amazing 4 mths of relationship and we got engaged.. I loved her like crazy... She had become my oxygen... It was no more an arrange marriage... The girl was pretty, had an awesome job plus she was a singer...In fact both of us r govt job holders.. But suddenly for no reason she decided to call off the mrg... She forgot me just like that... The thing is that the girl and her family were very egoistic and used to be very demanding... Despite giving her and her family all the assurance that she would live like a princess in our house... They were just relentless... Their demands grew... They were very unsure abt their daughter's future with me although they would say that my family is good... And my house feels like a temple.... They would always think negative about the marriage... They had a knack of constantly irritating my mother with negative thoughts regarding the mrg... All kinds of assurance failed... They had no clarity of thought.... They actually didn't know what exactly they wanted... We also didn't demand any dowry... I gave my 200% in the relationship... Begged her not to call off the mrg but she didn't listen me.... I cried like a kid to no avail... My mother also called her and explained that my only son accepted u knowing abt ur past... Isn't that proof enough how good he is .. So plz make ur parents realise that u won't hv any problem after mrg.... The girl said her parents that my mom is calling her a divorcee and that terribly hurt her.... She said are u guys having pity on me by accepting me? I was shocked the girl whom I loved so much was pretending to be lovely in front of me... She never respected my feelings and broke my heart just like that... She wanted a scapegoat and I was ready to be that just because I loved her... I didn't value my self respect.... Now I m heart broken.... This pain is inexplicable... I just can't believe everything is finished.... Marriage was just 15 days away... N she and her family decided to call off the mrg because they didn't get a ghar jamai who would say yes to everything they would demand.... They also didn't like me supporting my mother .... Nevertheless I got my reward for accepting a divorcee and loving her unconditionally... She called off marriage becoz I said u won't hv any issues after mrg so plz stop ur parents from interfering and being so demanding and stop irritating my mother by saying negative things about whether the mrg will work or not ... The parents were too dominating and had a fickle mind ...All the time they would say whatever they said is right.... Our opinion was valueless.... How can one be so stone hearted... She didn't value my feelings for her... I was just a nobody for her.... She said me that she loved me and would leave everyone for me... Such a liar she was.... I want to hate her but can't... Because I loved her from the bottom of my heart....She said that I would repent for what I have done and would cry for her in the future coz she feels that she is the most beautiful girl on the planet because of her ego ...The parents also said that the boy is bad and calling my daughter divorcee... But the truth is that I never ever asked her abt her past right from day one coz I felt that digging into the past will only hurt her... I thought she was a victim of the first mrg and I wanted her to give her a new life... But she misunderstood me for her ego... Now I feel the girl and her interfering parents were the guys responsible for the divorce.... They said that her husband was a drug addict and would torture her and knowing that she left the in laws house in 10 days... but I think otherwise... On the divorce paper it's written that they lived happily but separated due to difference of opinion..... Just sharing my story with u guys just to feel a lil relaxed as I feel am in a state of depression... I was supposed to marry in Feb 2022 but now its over... 😪😪 I don't know why am I feeling bad for a valueless girl... After engagement I had invited her for movie, photo shoot etc but she refused to meet... Last but not least.. Will I ever come out of this heartbreak? Prachi can you please reciprocate and tell me what do you think... I always would tell the girl that I m giving u assurance that we would live like a queen in my house, make ur parents realise that... Their demands were like the girl won't do house hold chores after mrg, won't wear saree after mrg, my mom had to prepare breakfast for her after mrg.. Make the girl feel special etc and we said haan ji to all their demands.... We had no demands from the girl as she was going to be a daughter and not a bride in our house... We just wanted peace of mind which didn't happen... Had she loved me she could hv handled her parents but no.... She and her family didn't even talk to my family before ending everything... We wanted to sit down and sort out issues but they just refused to even sort out anything... It was all them in the relationship... Our opinion didn't matter and what we wanted nobody asked...
Prachi di, your solution was amazing for both the writers. I wish them that they've a bright future ahead.. please make a video on how to get over past trauma.. my humble request 🙏🏻
Hey, these days I am getting intrusive thoughts a lot and not understanding how to deal with them. Some thoughts are even shameful to think about and I am not understanding whether it's normal or not and ok top of that I am not understanding the reason of such thoughts. How to stop these thoughts ? Can you suggest?. Please I need this help badly. Am I a bad person for all these things. Pls help me
Box , if you are reading this comment know that you are a gem, your parents are the problem if your parents came in your life back after treating you like shit they don't deserve you well you were young too once but they didn't give a fck abt it..just know just coz they are your parents doesn't mean u can forgive all their sick behavior
Box, Buddy I think your folks want you back since they are old and feel they need someone to take care of them. Sorry, I would tell them to go to hell. Let them emigrate and live close to their daughter and she can take care of them. Be firm about this. They broke the scared covenant of a parent child relationship, they can take it to their grave.
I just want to tell my story...so i am in class 8th 14 years old...and now i am backbencher in my class...i said 'now'..since 1st standard to 6th i was topper in my class but because of this corona virus and lockdown and online studies i lost interest in studies....and now i am failure.....i don't know what to do!....i am totally depressed....plz dii if you have some time..then plz reply me..... Sorry for weak english and Grammer🙏
Just study well. Its nothing to be interested in. Just practice, thinking as it will benefit you. And do what you like, but always study and have a good future.
Hello Prachi I am 21 year old girl, I have a lovely and caring boyfriend,I love him very much, but I don't understand whether i am a bit open minded or bisexual I want to have an experience with a girl just once I haven't been with anyone else he is my 1st and best love from 3 years What should I do please give me any suggestions
Break up with your current bf and then do whatever you want. Cheating is cheating whether it is with a girl or a boy. Clearly, your comment shows you dont love him, that your are considering an experiment with someone else.
If you want to explore sexuality then break up with that guy ......cheating can never be justified .....be it with a girl or boy ....or if you have mutual understanding tell him this stuff if he is okay with you experimenting your sexuality go for it ....but if not then its for you to decide what you want .....breaking up with him or not and continuing the relationship
Thank you guys for your suggestions I have came to know that I love him very much I don't want anything or anyone else I am not in any confusion anymore he is my hero I am lucky to be with him
@@find_your_self. Good, Dont lose something you already have for what you dont. Some people dont realise the value of what they have with them until its gone forever.
Bro you should do your DNA test with your parents " i don't think that they are even your parents" forgive them for your internal peace but don't go back to their home.
Box, you do not need to take their help. If they are approaching, you can clearly deny the offer. But , when it comes to the pain, hurt and grudge you are holding in your heart, you need to let it all go for your happiness. Forgive them, not because they deserve it, but because you are good and you deserve peace. They will face the consequence of their karma eventually, but you being a good person, do your part. If they need you, be for them. Wish them good. You may ask why shall I when they did not ? Dear because that's the difference between YOU and them❤️ It's definately not easy to forget the past so easily, but always remember people behave according to their sanskars. We may not understand how can someone do this, but they are a completely different soul with their own ideology. You can't control a different soul, but you can control how you will react to it and you can always be a good person.
Mr Box, there is a personality disorder called codependency that you have developed due to this trauma which is why you put everyone's needs above yours. Please read about codependency and seek help.
Mirror, I'm in kind of ur situation too but mine is more complicated as atleast you are okay with the boy.
My parents want me to say yes for a guy. I'm 23 years old and want to get married after completing my studies and financial independent. For this they reply we gonna find you in-laws who let you continue ur studies and work later on. To this i reply is there any guarantee? I have even given them example of one of my friend who got married last year and before marriage her in-laws were ok of her being continuing her studies but now they are not happy with her studies want her to do household works and take care of family only.
But my parents said to this "Har koi aisa nahi hota, humne unse pucha hai padhi likhi family hai toh unko teri padhai se koi problem ni hai".
And second problem i have with this RISHTA is the family is joint family. And i don't want to get marry in joint family to which my mother reply you are such a selfish person who just think about herself and have no respect and love for family and elders.
I have problem with boy too. He is 26 and not yet independent and pursuing D. Pharma and through his instagram i found out that he is a social person and i don't think he's mature.... And the person i want for myself should be independent, mature and private person not a social media addict.
And the reason why my parents forcing me to say yes coz His father is a well known, reputed and wealthy man.
Just listen to your heart , if it says no then have courage to take stand ...I m a girl with similar situation as yours but I m few years elder to you but the first rishta my parents got and when I met the boy I was 25 and I decided to take stand for myself ...and trust me kuch farak nahi padta hai , ek baat yaad rakhna duniya dabti hai bas dabane wala chahiye , parents to kya PM bhi chukte hain bas jhukane wala chahiye ...agar ladka nahi pasand to back off kar lo ...and 23 is not the age to get married , marrying before 25 is not a nice idea in today's scenario , complete your studies , start earning , make new friends , travel and explore the world ( this is what you should be doing at the age of 23 and not getting married ) ...aur rahi baat padhai ki after marriage to 60/70 % log shaadi k baad baby ka pressure dalne lagte hain to studies to bhool hi jao
There's no need to marry this guy ..your life gonna ruined nd trust me your parents won't even there u will there Who Gonna suffer alone
Say a hard NO!
There are too many things. The guy is jobless, dependent on his family and you won’t have financial independence too. Do you think you will get any say in life at all??!!
Ridiculous!!
His father being well known and rich has no bearing on your life ahead.
What stupid logic by your parents, and how very selfish…they are just looking for social validation.
And they are calling you selfish? For what? Not wanting to throw away your entire life blindly trusting those who seem suspicious???!!!
Stand your ground.
Too many red flags.
Thats a Big NO.
The red flags in your situaton are just immense as hell. Please dont ruin your life just for your parents stupid satisfaction OF YOU GETTING married in wealthy family
@@SmileWithPrachi first thank you so much prachi for highlighting this i know 100 of girls every day suffering from this stupid pressure by their parents and maybe through your comment they may feel motivated.
And i have said no to my parents. But they want me to meet the boy and his family just for the one time.
And I've already told them you want me to meet them fine i will go and gonna respect your words that you have given to them.
But my reply and answer gonna be NO. He and his family is not someone whom i want in my life.
And as of now they are saying OKAY.
But even in future they again force me.... I know what to do and I'm not gonna let anyone ruin my life like this be it my parents too.
And i want to address one more thing prachi i really appreciate if you mention this in your next video
That parents might have more experience than their kids but they should also understand the child in his/her early or mid 20s might not have a experience like their parents but atleast they know what is good for them and what is not. Being parents you should be there to support your child. Not put your pressure on child he/she already facing so much in their lives.
And Your child is not a property whom you sold whenever you want to. The child is a human being have emotions, expectations, dreams, crave for love.
It is really sad now a days parents expect from their child to be like them and do whatever they want him/her to do. But they need to understand we are not living in early 70s where you ask your child to follow up everything you asked for just for the sake of being called "AAGYAKARI"
Sadly some Indian parents think the way if they pay the bills they are doing everything to their children. Their job is done . Nobody talks about emotional support which a child requires from them . Nobody can give the child more confidence than their own parents by their side even when they are grown ups. But truth being truth sadly not everyone think this way. It's not just about money it's about all kind of support you owe to your child you bring in this world knowingly.
Parents aren't perfect beings they all have flaws in them.
@@Ritik_Nandan fair enough but that's not justified when it comes to support your own child . Period.
@@amolyasingh7598 Madam it's not like i was against your words or said that in favour of parents. I just said an absolute fact, when couples become parents they should grow themselves into a fine support system and source of love for their children.
Absolutely true :-)
@@amolyasingh7598 so.f.true. my dad literally told me 'humne tujhe 25 Saal tak padhaya' as if paying education fees is the only responsibility as a caregiver 🤦
Mirror, take a note if they have a family history of mental illness. I don't mean to stigmatize mental health but do take this factor into consideration and decide if you're comfortable marrying into this family.
Good point
If I in miroor place I can't be part of this family .. I think she is depreesed for some reason and something happened in past
I often see parents spending so much money on their children's wedding(especially on daughter's wedding). Parents need to understand that spending on education is more important than spending on a wedding. If you want a grand wedding that's fine. But do you think it can help you in any way? The people you invite , do they really give blessings with good heart? Do they really want to demand grand wedding to eat unlimited food or to bless your child?
Even when someone opts for simple marriage our community makes it a big issue.
I request think before you spend huge amount of money.
Box, usually when I see the letters, even I try to come up with possible solutions for the writers but yours was so out of my mental capacity, kudos to Prachi for handling it so well, I don't even know you but I wish I could give you a hug, you have been through so much, I can't even imagine how it must have been to not be supported by the two people who are supposed to be your biggest supporters. With your trauma, I really think you have achieved so much in life and I hope you thrive! Also, consider therapy as Prachi said. Your trauma needs the attention.
i am also in a same situation . they were very violent towards me . i also need a help .
Mirror: I don't think you should get married to this guy. If the mother is "eccentric" it doesn't bode well for marriage. and her condition may worsen.
Box, you're absolutely NOT a bad person. I'm sorry for what happened to you since childhood, it sounds very painful. I don't hold the position to tell you what to do but YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. And if you don't want to be in contact with your parents, it is absolutely okay.
Box: you seem to be yearning for your parents' approval even while being angry at their toxic behaviour. Don't be guilty for your anger. Call them up again, say if they give you space for your dream business, it should be done legally. Ask what they want in return. If the terms are suitable, agree. If not, you have your life and it's fine. If you agree to this office thing, maintain a distance between parents and your life. Trust does not come easily. Make your your parents earn your trust if they want you around.
Yes. And the keeping distance part is so important because you can again go though all the turmoil that you somehow managed to leave behind for so many years. It can totally take away your mental peace. So be careful in this part.
Hey guysss...THIS IS FOR ALL OF U..there is this little suggestion...why don't we people make a telegram group of this beautiful community..people are soo beautiful here..i mean they way you help each other....take out time for some strangers to write so that they can feel better by reading ...we all have our own stories to share....every week we wait for one week to ask each for solutions....there we can discuss it often....let me know ur views on this..
I'm leaving my comment here so that if anyone creates I'll join
Yea sure
I am in.
that's really thoughtful of you
great idea please add me too
Hey box, don't be so harsh on yourself. I just want to share something which has helped me a lot that your whole life you weren't prioritised by anyone, but you need to prioritise yourself and your peace. If cutting off completely from your parents gives you peace of mind, by all means do that. Don't feel guilty for putting yourself first. And also, if you decide to give your parents another chance, it's okay too. It's your goddamn life. But make sure that your parents doesn't treat your child the way they treated you. You have to be absolutely strict on that. You don't want your children to face any trauma. Just breathe. God bless
Omg Prachi the thing you said about toxic parents and people telling you what to do just straight hit me I have been told a lot by people that I am overreacting that I should try fix the the relation with them but I am just tired if everything I started to think I might be the problem but what you said made me realise that my feelings are completely valid
to mirror,
another thing you must consider about your mother-in-law's eccentricities is how these habits affect YOUR lifestyle. for example, you mentioned that she sleeps at 5 p.m. and wakes up in the middle of the night. this can cause you tremendous discomfort if the space you live in is small and you're a light sleeper, because she'll want to go about her routine activities as you sleep. if she's constantly talking to 'squirrels', it might not surprise you in the beginning, but if such things really get to you, your irritation towards her can snowball over time, and living with her might seem unbearable in the future. take into account all these habits of hers and see how they affect you. sometimes people overlook how someone's presence can affect their mood. in my first year of college, I had a roommate who was also a bit quirky. it didn't bother me when I first moved in but in about 3 months her behavior was driving me crazy.
exactly.
Same thing happened to my elder sister, Just like the first case, her mother in law (now Deceased) used to follow this ritual or time table, where she Would go to sleep at 8 pm and would wake up at 3 in the night. They discussed this with my sister before marriage and assured it won't bother her. But after marriage it caused a lot of havoc in her life. Her mother in law used to chant mantras loudly throughout the house. While making tea, ironing her clothes, switching On all the lights of the house at 3 am. And my sister who was a working professional, got so disturbed by this. She couldn't have proper sleep. And on requesting her mother in law she said, they mentioned this earlier. During her pregnancy she stayed with us. There was so much disturbance my father didn't let her go.
Honestly covid surge suddenly created a mess in my life, I went to campus we were quarantined suddenly got too many positive cases in campus, we were sent back after 10 days with an emergency notice. All these travelling and huge amount of expenditure suddenly shook me. Touchwood with god's grace my parents could afford expenses on such a short period of time but there are people who suffered and yes above everything we had to go through too much stress. I'm having exam after one week and it's not yet finalized whether the exam would b held or postponed. Very messy situation still trying to calm myself with spiritual chantings and meditation.
Box I can relate to you😢 in some point..People will always have to say something they just want to poke their ass and give shit free advices You are not wrong.. Stay strong
If there was one youtuber i could choose...i would choose uu!!!!❤❤
Yo ! 😉👍
Box, you r not responsible to fix anything in this world which u have not broken.. Dont blame urself...
Ideally both the guy and the girl should move out of their respective homes after marriage.
Box, Here's my warm hug for you. You deserve peace. All the best:)
Living at home for almost 2 years now has been hard, I have seen my mental health hitting rock bottom in 21 lockdown, even lost dear ones coz of covid and since then I have been working really hard on myself, I started studying seriously, I lost all my pandemic weight (10kgs), I do yoga, cut out toxic people and I still struggle but I can see light at the end of the tunnel. When Jan hit with restrictions, I was so scared that I will go back but I thrived and yes it's been very hard and I am so happy it's almost over now. I know people have had it even harder with losing their jobs, being far away from family, as much as I feel privileged to not have had those real life problems, I can't deny battling my own demons hasn't been tough and emotionally draining. I had to take a drop for medical entrances coz I couldn't and didn't study last two yrs, I feel guilty and frustrated but I try to take few steps each day in the direction of my goals and can't wait for the drop year to get over and the euphoria aka college to begin.
Hi am currently resonating with your issue too i want to loose weight,can you share which yoga videos helped you to lost ?
@@xoxogossipgirl1917 try intermittent fasting it worked for me. I have lost 8 kgs with normal day today activities. And after eating i do vajra asan.
@@gpallavi18 yoo thanks 🙏🏼❤️❤️
I actually lost most of my weight by limiting my carbs eg eating one roti per meal, having dal and dahi more, drinking 3L of water a day, and ofc 13-14 hrs Intermittent fasting. After my body reached a saturation point with this, I went on to do 30mins cardio a day, start low and build up the intensity for less cramps.
What's ur opinion or view with the age for the marriage from 18yrs to 21yrs? I want to as a teenage girl.😉😉
You grow so much in that age and marriage is not something for growing age its for "settled" age aka you are done with your education and have a stable job.
@@mahikakashyap9847 thanks for ur opinion dear
You shouldn’t be marrying at that age. I would suggest to marry after having knowledge about people and their behavior. First of all, you need to be independent and self employed, and then you can marry.
About Mirror i would've just said no! Like its not the problem if someone follows a some kind of ritual or has some habits. But this one just really seems odd. I've seen many documentries where people with some psycic problems or who have had gone through something in the past do some weird rituals(like this one) or you know they really have some strange habits. I mean not everytime a person follwing some particular rituals or habit makes them dangerous or psycopaths, but that might be a possibilty too! Just try taking out their history or anything like that, make sure u all are comfortable and happy!
I think to make you educated is more important rather than getting married Aur agar marriage Karni hai toh apne Piaso se Karo chahe crores ki Karo chahe lakhs ki
It's about my friend. She got engaged. It was all sudden she didn't get to know about that boy. she agreed because her family agreed and she thought one or the other day she has to get married. Boy is 32 years old and girl is 29 years. Boy's family made hurry in engagement. Now the issue is boy's job. He is waiting for government job, which is getting delayed or postponed from long time, currently he is working in one organisation salary is 12 k( about that also he himself not disclosed) . He is staying in village and says here salary is less also will be managed or says he will get that govt job but not sure when it will be confirmed or he will try in other city. It looks like whether he has not clarity or what?, Even though he and his family is good. She is getting worried if this is the case now what will be her future? Because he never opened up about his salary or future plans properly. He speaks about other things normally. She is worried after marriage how things will work or how he will take care of her? She already had family issues ( her father is not a responsible person he never took care of the family properly) so she doesn't want to suffer the same thing after marriage as well. She is getting worried whether to continue this relationship or not because already engagement is over marriage is in 2 months ( close relatives know abt this). At the same time she thinks is it too late or instead of suffering later should I end this?
Ask her not to get married into such a confused household. Clear cut NOOO.
Did your friend marry that man?
Nah man if I was Mirror I would just run away from this family, I don't want to get involved with anyone who hosts dinner parties for dead people and acts so weird, it is a huge red flag, I'm sorry prachi di but I don't agree with you there is nothing such as she doesn't care about the world and that it's a big thumbs-up, she probably needs some help, know what you're getting into, let's not forget the burari case
Box you are a legend.
I am a 30 Yr old guy... Of late my marriage was fixed... The thing is that me n family knew that the girl was a divorcee but still accepted the proposal since her parents said she was a victim as her husband was a drug addict... even though I had never married before and m the only child.. It was an amazing 4 mths of relationship and we got engaged.. I loved her like crazy... She had become my oxygen... It was no more an arrange marriage... The girl was pretty, had an awesome job plus she was a singer...In fact both of us r govt job holders.. But suddenly for no reason she decided to call off the mrg... She forgot me just like that... The thing is that the girl and her family were very egoistic and used to be very demanding... Despite giving her and her family all the assurance that she would live like a princess in our house... They were just relentless... Their demands grew... They were very unsure abt their daughter's future with me although they would say that my family is good... And my house feels like a temple.... They would always think negative about the marriage... They had a knack of constantly irritating my mother with negative thoughts regarding the mrg... All kinds of assurance failed... They had no clarity of thought.... They actually didn't know what exactly they wanted... We also didn't demand any dowry... I gave my 200% in the relationship... Begged her not to call off the mrg but she didn't listen me.... I cried like a kid to no avail... My mother also called her and explained that my only son accepted u knowing abt ur past... Isn't that proof enough how good he is .. So plz make ur parents realise that u won't hv any problem after mrg.... The girl said her parents that my mom is calling her a divorcee and that terribly hurt her.... She said are u guys having pity on me by accepting me? I was shocked the girl whom I loved so much was pretending to be lovely in front of me... She never respected my feelings and broke my heart just like that... She wanted a scapegoat and I was ready to be that just because I loved her... I didn't value my self respect.... Now I m heart broken.... This pain is inexplicable... I just can't believe everything is finished.... Marriage was just 15 days away... N she and her family decided to call off the mrg because they didn't get a ghar jamai who would say yes to everything they would demand.... They also didn't like me supporting my mother .... Nevertheless I got my reward for accepting a divorcee and loving her unconditionally... She called off marriage becoz I said u won't hv any issues after mrg so plz stop ur parents from interfering and being so demanding and stop irritating my mother by saying negative things about whether the mrg will work or not ... The parents were too dominating and had a fickle mind ...All the time they would say whatever they said is right.... Our opinion was valueless.... How can one be so stone hearted... She didn't value my feelings for her... I was just a nobody for her.... She said me that she loved me and would leave everyone for me... Such a liar she was.... I want to hate her but can't... Because I loved her from the bottom of my heart....She said that I would repent for what I have done and would cry for her in the future coz she feels that she is the most beautiful girl on the planet because of her ego ...The parents also said that the boy is bad and calling my daughter divorcee... But the truth is that I never ever asked her abt her past right from day one coz I felt that digging into the past will only hurt her... I thought she was a victim of the first mrg and I wanted her to give her a new life... But she misunderstood me for her ego... Now I feel the girl and her interfering parents were the guys responsible for the divorce.... They said that her husband was a drug addict and would torture her and knowing that she left the in laws house in 10 days... but I think otherwise... On the divorce paper it's written that they lived happily but separated due to difference of opinion..... Just sharing my story with u guys just to feel a lil relaxed as I feel am in a state of depression... I was supposed to marry in Feb 2022 but now its over... 😪😪 I don't know why am I feeling bad for a valueless girl... After engagement I had invited her for movie, photo shoot etc but she refused to meet... Last but not least.. Will I ever come out of this heartbreak? Prachi can you please reciprocate and tell me what do you think... I always would tell the girl that I m giving u assurance that we would live like a queen in my house, make ur parents realise that... Their demands were like the girl won't do house hold chores after mrg, won't wear saree after mrg, my mom had to prepare breakfast for her after mrg.. Make the girl feel special etc and we said haan ji to all their demands.... We had no demands from the girl as she was going to be a daughter and not a bride in our house... We just wanted peace of mind which didn't happen... Had she loved me she could hv handled her parents but no.... She and her family didn't even talk to my family before ending everything... We wanted to sit down and sort out issues but they just refused to even sort out anything... It was all them in the relationship... Our opinion didn't matter and what we wanted nobody asked...
The question that i always ask is why should i marry😐
Just to have a partner?
Prachi di, your solution was amazing for both the writers. I wish them that they've a bright future ahead.. please make a video on how to get over past trauma.. my humble request 🙏🏻
Hey, these days I am getting intrusive thoughts a lot and not understanding how to deal with them. Some thoughts are even shameful to think about and I am not understanding whether it's normal or not and ok top of that I am not understanding the reason of such thoughts. How to stop these thoughts ? Can you suggest?. Please I need this help badly. Am I a bad person for all these things. Pls help me
Box , if you are reading this comment know that you are a gem, your parents are the problem if your parents came in your life back after treating you like shit they don't deserve you well you were young too once but they didn't give a fck abt it..just know just coz they are your parents doesn't mean u can forgive all their sick behavior
Prachi is the most open minded cool liberal person
Box, Buddy I think your folks want you back since they are old and feel they need someone to take care of them. Sorry, I would tell them to go to hell. Let them emigrate and live close to their daughter and she can take care of them. Be firm about this.
They broke the scared covenant of a parent child relationship, they can take it to their grave.
Thank you Prachi💜
Mirror just becareful , they may be dangerous
Yes same opinion
I just want to tell my story...so i am in class 8th 14 years old...and now i am backbencher in my class...i said 'now'..since 1st standard to 6th i was topper in my class but because of this corona virus and lockdown and online studies i lost interest in studies....and now i am failure.....i don't know what to do!....i am totally depressed....plz dii if you have some time..then plz reply me.....
Sorry for weak english and Grammer🙏
Just study well. Its nothing to be interested in. Just practice, thinking as it will benefit you. And do what you like, but always study and have a good future.
Same situation😭😭😭
hey Prachi di!
i also had a query!
and i have already emailed you.
Hello Prachi
I am 21 year old girl, I have a lovely and caring boyfriend,I love him very much, but I don't understand whether i am a bit open minded or bisexual
I want to have an experience with a girl just once I haven't been with anyone else he is my 1st and best love from 3 years
What should I do please give me any suggestions
Break up with your current bf and then do whatever you want. Cheating is cheating whether it is with a girl or a boy. Clearly, your comment shows you dont love him, that your are considering an experiment with someone else.
If you want to explore sexuality then break up with that guy ......cheating can never be justified .....be it with a girl or boy ....or if you have mutual understanding tell him this stuff if he is okay with you experimenting your sexuality go for it ....but if not then its for you to decide what you want .....breaking up with him or not and continuing the relationship
Thank you guys for your suggestions I have came to know that I love him very much I don't want anything or anyone else I am not in any confusion anymore he is my hero I am lucky to be with him
@@find_your_self. Good, Dont lose something you already have for what you dont. Some people dont realise the value of what they have with them until its gone forever.
hi prachi sis,
Ur Psychology is amazing...
Ma'am can you start your podcast and blog(newsletter). I Love your command on english language. I want to speak like you.
I love this channel sm!
Prachi was waiting for your video dear ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
BEST YOU TUBE CHANNEL.....🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Box dnt look back
Love from Kolkata !❤🧿
Bro you should do your DNA test with your parents " i don't think that they are even your parents" forgive them for your internal peace but don't go back to their home.
Anxiety and stress is getting me 🙂👍🏻☠️
Hii ,
Prachi dii I need your help I am in a big trouble but i don’t know how can I share my problems 😔
Great advice.
Box, you do not need to take their help. If they are approaching, you can clearly deny the offer. But , when it comes to the pain, hurt and grudge you are holding in your heart, you need to let it all go for your happiness. Forgive them, not because they deserve it, but because you are good and you deserve peace. They will face the consequence of their karma eventually, but you being a good person, do your part. If they need you, be for them. Wish them good. You may ask why shall I when they did not ? Dear because that's the difference between YOU and them❤️
It's definately not easy to forget the past so easily, but always remember people behave according to their sanskars. We may not understand how can someone do this, but they are a completely different soul with their own ideology. You can't control a different soul, but you can control how you will react to it and you can always be a good person.
Hey prachi di please give me a heart and take my name in your next video ALMUNIUM SULPHATE ! Please
👍👍🥳🥳🥳🥳👍
Please he consistent with your uploading time
Mr Box, there is a personality disorder called codependency that you have developed due to this trauma which is why you put everyone's needs above yours. Please read about codependency and seek help.
Keep it up didi
Hey prachi di... I have also emailed you my problem, please tell me anything as soon as possible.. Please🙏
Hi di i meet a guy physical we involved he is now unresponsive little bit with me
He used you and he does not want to contact you. Simple. That's why it's better to no do things so hastly.
The thing is very hurting desasterously for me. If u ll reply than only i can tell. Plsss need help..