On parenting as an immigrant | Tinuke Fawole | TEDxCherryCreekWomen
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 ก.ย. 2024
- As an immigrant parent of four children and a child welfare law attorney in a diverse county, Tinuke Fawole knows firsthand the struggles that children of immigrants go through which parents are often completely unaware of. In this talk, she shares three distinct ways in which immigrants unwittingly silence their children’s voices, the damages caused and ways in which parents can support their children better.
Since the lives of children of immigrants are impacted by more than just their parents, she also encourages the school systems, the healthcare system, the court system and all who provide services for immigrant children to become aware of the unique challenges these children face so they can be supported better and provided services tailor-made for them rather than a one-size fits all. An immigrant from Nigeria, Tinuke Fawole is a Criminal Law and Child Welfare Law Attorney and passionately advocates for her clients in the Criminal Justice System. She is also a former State Prosecutor. Tinuke is a Parenting Thought Leader and an expert in helping parents navigate the challenges of immigrant parenting.
Tinuke is the host of the TH-cam channel, Optimum Families and is an International Speaker and Relationship Coach. She is the author of The Immigration Gap and Master of My Destiny. Tinuke travels all over the world, speaking and giving workshops and seminars for various organizations, companies and conferences and the impact of her expertise is measurable.
Tinuke has been happily married to her college sweetheart, Alaba for 37 years and they are blessed with four happy and well-adjusted children, two amazing sons in law and adorable grandchildren.
Tinuke loves traveling and spending time with her family. She lives in Snellville, Georgia with her husband. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
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I loved this talk so much! You articulated so much of the struggles I went through as a first-generation Nigerian American. I only wish these kinds of conversations were happening when my parents were raising me. I hope this sparks more conversations and changes amongst immigrant communities.
Oh wow, thanks for being the mouthpiece to a lot of African parents in diaspora.
Thank you ma’am
Thanks for great advice! I was just smiling as I listened to your speech and I could connect with it, my daughter was bullied due color, weight, name, mode of dressing and it was hard for her but I could read her body language each day after school,it went on for a whole school year, I called the teacher’s attention but it wasn’t working, she became depressed and affected her academics so I had to take a turn because I became psychologically disturbed about the way she was becoming the shadow of herself and I have to change her school and that was the game changer for her she is now full of energy and no room for bullying.
As parents we need to be very observant and make our children feel free,safe to talk to us about their feelings.
The best revenge for undertone racism and bullying is Success. And for this same reason, immigrant parents have driven & pushed their kids to success. But sadly for some, it is in career paths they have little or no interest in. But Talks like this will change the norm. A very Excellent, and well-articulated presentation. It hits homes and everyone who has and will see this video; caregivers, teachers, students, colleagues, employers, and parents inclusive can begin this change. Thanks, Ms. Tinuke very impactful.
Thank you so much for your observations.
Insightful, impactful, and inspiring! Thank you!
This is a great topic! I definitely experienced some of this growing up. Now that we have an 18 month old son, my wife and I will make sure to do better than our parents generation did!
Thank you for speaking so authentically about this topic. Immigrant children deserve to be heard and seen, and you gave just the right perspective. I loved every moment of it. 👏👏👏🥰
Absolutely wonderful. I myself an an immigrant mom, married to a native of the country I live in. I will keep this in mind every day, thank you!
An amazing talk Tinuke. This was very informative for us that work in the child welfare system. We talk about inclusion yet it’s held to the American standard.
Thanks Traci.
This was so real ❤❤ thanks for sharing what for years was impossible to articulate
More conferences should be held to discuss such diurnal topics as it helps people understand the plight of others well.
Thank you so much auntie!! You truly captured everything of the immigrant child
Thanks darling.
This was incredibly beautiful. ❤️❤️ thank you for being a bridge between immigrant children and parents. It's so necessary. May we all listen more with our hearts. ❤️
What a beautiful presentation! Thank you for acknowledging this struggle, I identify with it so much!! I wish I had your wisdom when I was raising my kids. I remember one day my kindergarten age daughter came home real mad and said: YOU LIED TO ME! Confused I asked her how? She said: you told me it was “enbelop“, it is: ENVELOPE!!! All I said was oops! Im sorry, I didn’t know, now we both know. I thought it was funny at the time. This makes me think that I need to have a conversation with her and find out how that affected her. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
You’re an amazing mother !!❤
Aww. Thanks for sharing! Yes, you do that. Lol
Not only to immigrant children.. but our own children too.. Listen with your ears, eyes and hearts..!!
Such an important topic. Thank you for this insightful and riveting talk, we need this bridge. We immigrant parents truly need to humble ourselves to understand the struggles our children face instead of looking through our own prisms. Thank you for lending your voice to our children.
The is relatable!!! I was born in Jamaica, came to America when I was 9. At 35, I still feel like an outsider in America and even among my own countrymen. I’ve accepted that I am somewhat of a nomad, trying to find home.
I welcome you to the United States! I'm a Mexican with white skin born in the United States 😅🤣😂
Neurodiversity makes me a "Foreigner" regardless who I'm around. Part of being "White" is being "Normal" a "Country" I'm not native to. Some Minorities can see similarities between Ableism and Racism some others see a Disabled White person as a "Safe Target" for venting frustration from systemic racism on.
This is quite touching. Thank you for raising these fears and possible solutions for a better world for all.
This is an incredible talk! I would highly recommend it. I had so many revelations and insights from watching this!
This is an amazing and most heard conversation. Let's us pass it all across our immigrant communities. Spread the word so our children wouldn't hate us in the future
This spoke to me. I am a first generation Oromo and former foster youth. I definitely encourage other social workers to realize that that was my first time living in place that didn't eat ethiopian food. I wasn't familiar with butter, cheese and bacon. My mom made her own and definitely no pork. I quickly became anemic cause it was hard finding something I felt comfortable to eat. Lotta PB & J sandwiches lol
Just something to consider 😌
Very well said! So many passages from your book, The Immigration Gap, brought me to tears. It gave a needed perspective as immigrant parents rarely share their pain or shortcomings from my experience. It is SUCH a needed tool, and I’m grateful for the work you’ve done to bring it forth. E kuse Auntie 🤎
Aww. I appreciate you so much darling. Thank you. My prayer is that we will all take heed and be willing to grow so we can actually change our trajectory as immigrant parents. Amen.
Wow!!! This was such an amazing talk. As a child of immigrants in this country, I completely identify with all of these stories! Excellent!!!
So well done. Practical information from beginning to end. What a great presenter! 👍🏾Thank you for sharing.
Such an amazing and profound topic that needs to be heard by all. Thank you for being a voice for not only immigrant parents but children alike! ❤❤ Truly feel seen by this.
Thank you for such a brilliant presentation. I’m an immigrant mother of three. My children had similar experiences in school but I thank God for seeing them through.
Very well delivered! Thank you aunty❤
This is so relatable and amazing. Thank you for this wonderful presentation
I love your ideology, courage and eloquence.
Great message, great speech!
Thank you.
Amazing sis. Very informative, relatable yet strongly expressed enough for us to relearn, redeem and refocus. Thank you
Thank you love!
Thank you for seeing us, children of immigrant parents!
Great presentation impactful
This also goes to parents who send their children abroad and not with them.
This is powerful
Thank you
Wow!!! I listened to this talk, not only with my ears, eyes and heart, but with my whole body.
I'm sharing it with everyone in my contacts.
Every parent should try to make ammendments where necessary.
May God hrlp us all🙏
Such a wonderful talk, thank you 🌻
Your thoughts are sooo precious for millions of families around the world, who are immigrants, somewhere.
This is really insightful 👏 God bless you, ma'am 🙏 We should listen with our hearts 💕
Thank you.
Thank you for hearing us children!
It can be more challenging as child of immigrants. Or when you have to parents from 2 different nationalities trying to exist in country that can tease you for your accent. Especially in the 90 and 80s people were not very tolerant. Try going to another country than your own such as France or Thailand you will now be the outsider looking in. Trying to learn something so unfamiliar to us, culture, language and way of life. Please ask if someone would like correction and don't bully or poke fun for the way someone speaks it's degrading. Thank you for reading.
Beautiful, emotional, inspiring, important. Thank you!
Thank you sister
As an Immigrant Parent, this is very insightful! I am ready to listen!
I am so moved watching this talk, and I'm looking forward to sharing it with educators in my school district who work with many immigrant families. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story!
Thanks Lauren.
I was born in America to a Jamaican mother. I lived in Jamaica and picked up the accent, but when I came back to America I quickly realized my accent had to go if I wanted to avoid being picked on and asked to “talk funny”.
Thanks so much Tinuke for these invaluable insights and advice for us immigrant parents who are struggling with this reality. We will change for the better
Honestly , beautiful ❤️❤️ she hit every point
I'm so sorry for your loss ma'am.
This talk brings up very important issues that many immigrant parents like us are not aware of. My children used to love to sing the lyrics of this song a lot and they still do once in a while as adults. It unites them. 🎼 Entre deux mondes, Entre deux mondes. On évolue tous entre deux mondes. Assumer sa vie sous la pression, préserver sa vie, préserver son monde. 🎵
Amazing. Thank you🌹
This was a very good lecture. And I am neither an immigrant nor American.
Thank you ❤
This is so relatable! Thank you Tinuke for this amazing talk!
Much needed conversation that I can relate to. Go Aunty!
This is insightful. 💥
Thank you for this wonderful message
While I think it is necessary to be culturally sensitive and help immigrant children feel accepted, I think it should also be ok for immigrant children to assimilate. When I was in middle school I chose traits and values from my home culture and my adopted culture to mix together into something I felt was better than both. I did this without consulting my parents. But most kids are often only given the choice to or are forced to choose only 1, and to the parents there is only 1 right answer.
The speaker has told of immigrants assimilating in this presentation e.g. finding love, following passions or joining professions different from their cultural norms.
Turn haters into motivators.
My little 7 year old son was not born in the UK, he just came in to join me last year. Back home he had a lot of friends he play with in school, but over here was totally different. He comes home each day telling mummy no one played with me today, the next day only one person. I wave it of him in other for him not to dejected. What can I do in this type of situation?
He just needs more encouragement to make friends and talk to his teacher to put him in a play group with friends and something I do is encourage my daughter by asking her how many friends did she talk to today and I always clap excitedly when she gives me the number.
What happened to him?
Thank you Tinuke! Some us still have this issue in adulthood. Growing up enjoying my Ghanaian roots and culture, but feeling alone amongst them because of my accent and pronunciation of certain words in the mother tongue. An interesting topic for discussion😊
Great presentation ma’am ❤❤❤❤
Beautiful presentation, Well-done!
Immigration is not always as nice as many people think.
Thank you
Спасибо
You need to speak more to our Nigerian parents too, I'm glad my parents didn't choose for me.
Great topic
Bravo!
The life of the in immigrant child. Too American for the Jamaicans and too Jamaicans for the Americans.
So true!!
😪🥺
Cringe.
🤦
Elaborate if you aren’t a bot
Too little views and likes
Ok so you teach your children your in a different country their ways may not be our ways but we are here in there country .so either teach your children your customs/ way of life very much at home to the degree that they won't feel confused/ and also don't b upset with your children if you failed to do so!! And they as she said come home .seeming confused! And then u loose it on them and the country! Teach your children yourself to be respectful to all!! But especially you and then you will have a easier time- if they bring the plate with the wrong hand to you. 🙄 And you as a parent in a foreign country can help lead and guide them to a peaceful understanding of the issue at hand✋ and at 🏠 home. Js
Well duh.. you move to a different country with a different culture. You need to adapt to that culture or else you should not be in that country.
The reason why the Japanese and Americans got along so well and got married was because our culture's mix well. Sure there's some differences but those differences are superficial, not extreme.
Why don't you see Americans or Japanese moving to Muslim countries. Because the differences are extreme and incompatible.
You didn’t watch the video did you 🤔🤔🤦🏾♀️ thanks for commenting and boosting the content tho!
Do not come here illegally then. You are not owed.
Please 🛑!!
How about, no
Reporting you
You didn’t watch the video did you? 🤔 thanks for commenting and boosting the content tho!
Just stay in your country and solve your problems there.
Diversity of immigrants around World.
Can you provide?
All walk of life to Grants Pass Oregon USA.
In 2026 and year to come.
With way of thinking.