Thank you for joining me for today's bonus video. I have been wanting to discuss stress for a long time now. I would love to hear your stress story in the comments below and please let us know how you plan to combat it. I'll see you tomorrow! With love, Jennifer
I'm studying mindfulness in my PhD right now, so this is a topic of deep interest to me. You hit the nail on the head and your voice and aura are so lovely and calming! A few additional things: 1) As Eckhart Tolle emphasizes, try being with nature without even labelling it. Our mind is constantly on and by just being still with a tree or a flower or a magnificent piece of nature, we can just share that energy without our minds construing it with words (which are constructs created by people). 2) I'm currently reading 5am Club by Robin Sharma and I love one line in it that says 'don't manage your time, manage your focus'. In other words, focus mindfully on a given task for its own sake, instead of focusing on the timeline (when possible of course!). 3) Many of Tolle's concepts have helped a great deal in not only managing but preventing stress. In a nutshell, bringing awareness to the present moment helps us detach from the mind, which is ultimately the cause of most of our stress!
Yes, good video. Slowing down and getting physical activity like walking helps me. Keeping things in perspective helps and I am trying to remember to pray and give thanks when stressed. Also, Another thing that relieves my stress without fail is...how can I say this in a classy way? It’s a really lovely physical feeling that comes from intimacy, I’ll say. Works without fail.
When the corners of my mouth cracked, which is quite painful, the doctor kept asking if I was eating a balanced diet or healthy diet. I asked him what that meant. This was in the early 70's. He prescribed vitamins, which didn't work until I got fed up and took 6 of my vitamins at once. Within hours the cracks had healed! That was after months of having these painful cracks. It was eye opening, and made me aware that mother was right in the late 50's when she had me take vitamins.
Changing our minds about what constitutes a "successful life" is the most significant stress reducer. We must decide what achievements are the components of a rich and full life. We cannot let society, friends, or even family decide what we should do to be successful.
I am a bona fide, Type-A, perfectionist-do-all-the-things-&-do-them-better-than-anyone, 54 yr. old wife of 32 yrs., mother to 3 grown & married children, memaw to 4 (with twins on the way!), business owner, B.S in Early Childhood Ed., blah-blah-blah. When I was 23, I developed rheumatoid arthritis & IBS due to stress. It was debilitating, off & on, until the last 5 yrs., when I changed my diet & self-care routines. I now know immediately when I am not controlling my stress levels adequately, as the symptoms return with a vengeance. SO much I would say to the younger women of this community & to my younger self, regarding reasonable expectations in each season of your life. Today I combat stress in this order: spend more time cultivating my relationship with God, creating a "mind map" of all the things I need to do & then prioritizing or crossing out many of them, scheduling more time to rest, & cleaning up my diet. Nature, the arts, and family time get woven into the fabric of recovery as well.
I have IBS also and have recently been getting joint pain at times. I am trying to find a diet to help with the IBS but am struggling. Stress plays a role so I am taking more time to relax with a book and setting priorities for the day. I am learning to have more reasonable expectations for myself. Great advice! Thank you for sharing.
I had vertigo (dizziness) and also my head itchy since my pregnancy as I was alone so it was emotionally very stressful and I am finally getting better 99%. I am prioritising my self care as well, it’s definitely worth it. Today I had a hair mask (egg, olive and coconut oil, apple cider vinegar for 2h) then a face mask with honey and now listening to classical music, I am going to read and do some yoga and meditation. I have also been writing in my personal journal. It’s really great!
Insomnia, eczema and worrying are my physical cues that I am experiencing unhealthy stress levels. As an introvert in an extroverted "people" job that has a really heavy workload, I know I need a lot of stillness and silence to combat the busyness that happens in my brain. I am so grateful for the example that Jesus set for us. He could have easily said "there are too many people who need me, I can't take a break," yet he often took time aside in solitude with the Father, even in the midst of people pursuing him for healing and teaching. Jesus' example helps me to take time in solitude even when there is always someone demanding my time and attention.
My stress tends to manifest as hives or yelling 🙈 I try really hard to not reach the yelling point now. Self care works so well. Going to my husband and telling him I need time to myself (homeschool mom of five - ages 9,7,5, almost 3, and almost 1 - deep in the trenches) helps him to know I’m close to my breaking point. We have daily (try to anyway...haha) quiet ‘hour’ or I will disappear onto our front porch with a cup of coffee or tea and a good book. I am gardening a lot this year. Getting my hands in the dirt helps me so much! I love handcrafts like knitting, crochet, and embroidery. Doing a little of those with tea is also calming for me. I do hold my baby and encourage other mothers to do the same. My 9 year old seems to have gone from baby to boy who won’t ask for kisses or hugs anymore (though he gladly accepts when they are offered, for now) overnight. It goes too quick. I think part of the self care is to let go of busy. Just let it go and rock the little ones, or play the game, or take the bath! I cannot tell you how often I have said ‘I’m much too tired to soak tonight.’ Busy is a lie we tell ourselves that keeps us in this constant state of stress. Thank you so much for this video. It is so important to deal with stress.
I can tell u my story on stress and hopefully it might help. I wanted my home to be sparkly clean and I would focus on every nook and cranny making sure it sparkle to perfection. Big mistake on my part I should had managed my stress on what was important and that was my children. Children won’t remember how clean and chic there home is. They will remember the fun they had with mom, dad and siblings. Balance my dear the dishes, dust will always be there, but in a blink of an eye our babies are grown men and women. You are not superwoman you are a mom. God bless
Thank you for what you do. I went today and got some presentable pajamas with a robe (it was a set) and come home, soaked in a hot bath and practice self care. Thank you for the inspiration!
My latest manifestation from stress...the doctors put me through tests to be sure i wasn't having a heart attack! It was so scary! Panic attacks are no joke. I actually took me totally removing myself from a certain situation and relationship to reclaim calm and peace in my life.
One thing as a pastor's wife I do to reduce stress is to discern between hurting and complaining people. I will always try to make time for people who are hurting, but people who are complaining sap my energy big time and I can't really help because they are determined that there are no solutions. I will talk to a hurting friend/ church member for an hour and a half - I limit myself to five minutes to a complaining person.....
Hi Jennifer, I agree, I feel Self-care has helped with my overall health. Last Fall, I had similar experience when I was stressed my skin had mild eczema around my eyes and other areas of my body (never had this happen before) ... I went to doctor, dermatologist, eye doctor several times and they said they couldn't figure out why, except maybe stress. I had to pull back even more on getting things done, as it was painful and not attractive to see myself in the mirror. I guess in a way it was my body was screaming for me to slow down and take care of it - when my body breaks down I finally do listen. For self-care, I do weekly natural body scrub (inspired by your recipe) and I wake up 20 min before my family to have a cup of coffee and journal. I should add in nature, thanks for the reminder and appreciate you doing this video!! It's an important one I believe for us as women (in addition to work, home, kids, friend, wife role...we have those things called hormones, lol). Hugs!
I feel very stressed and anxious. My husband and I had the empty nest for a couple years then my father had some serious health issues so now I care for them, my mom and dad. I feel so alone a lot. And I have to have my phone on as if an aide calls with a problem, I have to be there. So the phone causes me anxiety, too. I purposely, take a small tea break in the middle of the afternoon. Even if it is just sitting in quiet space for a few minutes, it seems to help. I read. I spend time with my God to de-stress. I know this is a season and to remind myself of that helps, too. Thank you for the video. :)
My children are all grown. I'm grateful for the times that I sat coloring with my little girl, while a pile of dishes were in the sink. You are so right...enjoy each child, each moment...they are all a gift.
Yes, cuddle that baby! My baby is 16 now & could pick me up! I miss those days, but also enjoy every stage my children have gone through. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it helps people realize they are not alone.
My story is that I've had violent panic attacks since I was a child, that could be every day or just one every several months depending on how stressed I am. They've really started to bother me since becoming a mom because I have very little control over when I have them so I've recently started therapy to try to work out why they happen and what I can do to stop them. When I get very stressed I have lots of attacks, I start grinding my teeth at night, my face breaks out, and at times I've dealt with hallucinations. The rest of the time I appear to be a very well rounded and we'll adjusted person, but my anxiety can be crippling. Becoming a mom has brought me so many new anxieties and, of course, anxiety about my anxiety. One thing you said that struck a cord with me was that we have to take time for self care, because I realized that I minimize in my mind the effect self care would have to the point that I don't do it at all because I see it as being in the way of getting through my to-do list which is what I tend to think will actually help me to feel better. But the to-do list is truly never ending, and I'll never escape it, so I'll work on choosing acts of self care.
hi Kaitlyn, I understand you. it happened to me a few years. now my child also struggles with that but that experiences served to be more compassionate and empathetic😇 thank God ,I try the best praying. I try to slow down when I m so rush,the most important is you are blessed, life is beautiful, Sometimes need just make plans to start the day .choose things what are constructive for you a family. blessings 🏡😇⚘
Beautifully said. I read an article last week where a neuroscientist discussed the effect of multitasking on the brain, saying it has much the same effect as simultaneously pressing the gas and brake pedals in a car. Lots of energy expended, to little or no avail. This is true for me with any tasks requiring mental work, so simplifying into single-focus work segments helps my scrambled brain. That, and taking walks! Plus tea, always. ;) And the Psalms have a way of grounding me in peace and hope.
I get migraines which literally make me stop. After 30 years I'm still trying to draw back from the whirlwind of jobs and thoughts that bring them on. I have to keep reminding myself to give everything to God in prayer. Quiet times with God are so important for me. Other times I read, I'm a prolific reader, just love getting lost in a book.And the bath idea-thank you for reminding me just how good that feels-i'm off for a bath right now!
When I get stressed I pull at my hair. I have a balding spot near the nape of my neck. I'm trying to get better at it, as having uneven hair tempts me to become even more stressed! It is a subconscious habit now. If I thinking about something really hard,nervous , daydreaming or trying to figure something out I "twiggle". It really is embarrassing, especially at my age. I'm trying to be kinder to myself and not compare myself to other ladies.😣
Hello, Jennifer! I carry stress in my shoulders, so my muscles there are tight. I have never had a massage due to its cost, but I do suspect that once I start, I might not be able to stop! To destress, I like taking a walk, lounging in silence, reading, thinking positively or daydreaming, and indulging in simple pleasures, often eating or drinking something.
Yesterday I had a migraine, stress related. I'm a teacher, and we had just had a very long testing inservice in preparation of the "all important" state testing which begins next week. Driving home, the migraine started. It's still with me today, but, of course, I had a parent meeting early this morning so could not slow down. When I'm stressed, I tend to crave carbs. Oh, how I wish I could be the type of person who did not want to eat when I was stressed. Thank you for this video. It came at just the right time.
Oh my God, I have the same reaction to stress - and I have had it since my childhood- eczema on my hand, corners of my lips cracking. The lips thing went away now (thanks God, cause I can use a lipstick 😁). But my hands are the real indicator of my life - and they are all clear only when I’m super happy - the beginning of relationship for example 🤷♀️
Your blog posts and videos do seem effortless, but I know we only see the finished results. On your videos you come across like you are sitting down to chat with a friend. When I get stressed, I will get headaches and tension in my neck and shoulders. I also find that I have more trouble concentrating. If my stress levels go really high, I will have stomach pain, and I will also lose my appetite. I've found that getting in nature is a great way for me to feel refreshed and restored. A nice long walk in a quiet forest is best, but even a few minutes of outdoor time here and there helps.
I find that spending time in nature, listening to music & journaling all help to de stress. Learning to make time for yourself is s healthy habit to cultivate.
Many good ideas here Jennifer. I would like to add that most often we are the cause of our own stress! We cannot have it all and do it all - at least not all at the same time. Sometimes if we can choose to have less materially - ie work less - we are at the same time choosing to have more time. More time means less stress. As an older mum who has been self-employed, a single mum and a homeschool mum - I would say to younger women that you cannot keep your precious health if you continually CHOOSE to do too much. Eventually it will catch up with you no matter how many hot baths or nature walks you take.
Madeleine Lawrence I love this and think there is much wisdom in what you say. I’ve noticed in my life, to keep balance, I often have to choose what is most important in that season of life and be willing to let go of other things.
Thank you for this candid video, Jennifer. I find that when it is extremely busy (we all have those seasons), sometimes it is best to hire someone trustworthy to help out with the heavier chores, like vacuuming, floor mopping, etc. Help once a week can alleviate the very, very heavy burden many of us carry nowadays. Not only is time freed to spend it with one's family and so not miss precious moments in their lives, but also the extra income can be of real help to someone who needs it. A win/win scenario.
I needed this today. I’m an emotional/stress eater, and I’m trying to recognize it when I’m doing it. Also, thank you for all you do for your blog community!
The 7-11 breathing method really relaxes me. Also sitting in a dim room with candles and physical books or magazines no screens works wonders along with tea ☕️ love your line “feed your soul”
I am stressed as I am in my last semester of college. These hard assignments paired with keeping the home clean and tidy, spending time with my boyfriend and cat, being social and having time for myself and my to do list is just too much. I did end up dropping a class to take in the summer so lightening my course load and spreading it out made me less stressed. Now to get my boyfriend to help out more...
I love your idea of appreciating and experiencing nature. We are in day #2 of a 3 day winter storm here in Wisconsin. We feed the birds in the winter, they usually eat early mornings and late afternoons. Yesterday morning my front yard was bare but this morning we had 8" of new snow. There were dozens of little song birds hopping around on top of the snow looking for food. It was snowing hard and the wind gusting so badly I did not have the heart to bundle up and fill my feeders. So I stood at the patio doors in my dining room and master bedroom and flung scoopfuls of black oil sunflower seeds on top of the snow. The birds have been feeding for hours and closer to the house than usual so we can really see them. Probably 70-90 birds and quite a variety. Every time I look out and see all those birds my heart is happy. My husband feels housebound today and he also is being charmed by the birds. Thank you for another helpful video.
I Love your videos Jennifer!!! Thank you for sharing your life lessons and being authentic. Every time when I walk to school with my 7 and 5 year old children we look at trees, comment how they changed, which flowers are blooming , we name the plants, sometimes pretend there are trolls or other creatures hiding in bushes...we pray... after coming home I feel so relaxed,productive,energetic. And every time my husband drops children to school on the way to work(when he has time) and I don't spend that morning time walking ,enjoying my children's company and nature I feel like something is missing,like the day is not complete.THANK YOU SO MUCH for reminder how important it is to reconnect with nature. Blessings for everyone!!!!
A wonderful video. I found myself nodding alot. My physical manifestations of stress include mouth ulcers, headaches, neck/shoulder tension and other physical pains. Meditation, yoga, physical exercise, being outdoors, spending time with pets are all good (and free) ways to chill. Most people are attached to their phones, do several things at once and are at their upper limits of stress. I think that’s why we see so many examples of poor manners and lack of self awareness. Everyone is in a rush. I love your story of watching the ants with your two year-old. I’m a ‘recovering perfectionist’ myself - one day at a time 😀 Best wishes from Australia xx
I have an autoimmune disease and I was in remission over the summer, but now my symptoms have returned which means I will need to go back on medication. So I was feeling very down and stressed about dealing with that and my instinct was to eat something to make myself feel better - but I didn’t. I walked away from the pantry and did something else to distract my mind and it worked and I felt so much better for not giving in.
Being a busy mama and Life is so stressful to me. I get alot of hair loss, sleeping issues. Less sleep = more stress😕 But I too deal with it with long hot baths, gardening going for walks in the Ravine by my house&prayer❤
Great advice. Having a hot bath was my main destress activity when my 3 kids were little. It’s truly magical. This month I have chosen to step away from social media (IG, FB, and making YT videos)and cut down my you tube viewing (catching up with your videos is essential) and it has made a tremendous difference in my life. I had a goal to get back to reading and read one novel a week (I usually only read self improvement types of books). I’m halfway through my 3rd book and it’s only March 11! It amazing and I am loving it! Reading for pleasure is such a calming activity :)💜
For me, feeling stress starts with not being able to sleep. Laying there for hours wide away. It can also manifest in say my back going out, which it is right now! Lol I think my biggest problem is striving, just striving to do more, produce more. The good thing with these symptoms is it lets me know to step back, tone it down and enjoy my life. A big help for me is prayer. Spending time in the Lords presence and being on the Word. I also enjoy being outside and just being present. I often wonder how you do it all. Slow down a bit. Enjoy. It will all get down. Thanks for tackling all these great issues. Oh and my new 10 item wardrobe is definitely a stress reliever❤️
I do get minor stresses when I’m overwhelmed with lots to do and a short time frame to do it in. I still haven’t found a great way to de-stress whilst getting stuff done, but short breaks (in a different room if I can’t manage outside) and planning a day off after the rush is over helps. However, for long term stressful situations like losing my mother to cancer over a 15 month period, made me learn the importance of self care and not sweating the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things 90% of my day to day stresses aren’t that big a deal, so as you say making sure you gain back your perspective is crucial. Before my mum got sick, I was someone who got stressed because I was always in a hurry and that was made worse because of a chronic illness I have that makes me slower and it was frustrating for a very long time. I had to give up my masters degree because of it, and I was frustrated because I would be envious of others getting on with life while I was still stuck being hugely slowed down by my illness instead of climbing the corporate ladder or whatever else I used to think I should have done by age X. I fit the stereotype of a perfectionist and highly stressed Virgo until everything changed. But my mum being ill turned my world upside down and broke my dad’s and my hearts and suddenly everything you take for granted is ripped out from under you but equally all those things you thought were important you truly realise they really really aren’t. It changed me from someone who stresses about virtually everything and trying to make everything perfect and do everything perfectly to someone who now knows there is very little that is of vital importance: as long as you have your faith and your loved ones are safe and healthy everything else will work itself out somehow and that makes me less prone to stress and the regulation anxiety that usually accompanies the stress. Also cute animal and happy, giggling baby videos on TH-cam help😉
I’m a homeschooling mom of two young boys and extremely stressful moments can cause alopecia. I’d lose a patch of my hair about the size of a quarter. It’s enough of a reason for me to make stress relief a priority! Being creative helps me tremendously. Writing, playing instruments, singing. Also exercise. Even if it’s just a quick walk or a mini yoga session. Connecting with people in person is so helpful too. We can be so isolated. Your videos relieve stress. Staying in gratitude and letting go of the need to control everything is such a major relief.
I love all of your ideas, added to those I would put playing the piano. It is a wonderful stress reliever for me, and not just a reliever of stress, if I am worried, or hurt, or sad it soothes my soul.
Such a timely video for me. I shared with my Husband last night that I’m the most stretched thin that I’ve ever been. My words describing all my commitments were similar to yours- I love all I do. It’s the combination that makes me feel incapable and maybe even weakened by the stress. Thanks for sharing. I was praying this morning for some encouragement in this area of my life. This video was an answer to my prayers so thank you. I feel very encouraged and have some practical wisdom to apply. ❤️
Wonderful video, Jennifer. Yes, the child-raising years are very rewarding but stressful. The number 1 way I avoid/remove stress is through boundaries. With my time, with relationships, and with what I allow to influence me. People-pleasing, perfection and unrealistic expectations will create stress. Having a strong sense of self-worth and knowing what is right for you at any particular season is so critical. I'm loving your chic assignments!❤❤
Your videos always come at the perfect time! I've been struggling with new motherhood, my writing work, and keeping our home and homecooked meals to the standards I was used to. I've slowly started to see that I need to re-prioritize and that some things need to fall away. To combat stress, I give myself something to look forward to during different times of the day. In the morning it's my matcha green tea latte and reading one Shelley poem (loving this month's chic assignment!). In the afternoon it's reading one chapter from a novel I'm reading. And in the evening it's a 10-minute bedtime yoga routine by SarahBethYoga. On an entirely different note, I am loving the "Mother Culture" book you mentioned! When things are less busy for you, would you consider doing an e-course on homeschooling? It was never an option I considered, but the more I learn about Charlotte Mason and Waldorf philosophies I am intrigued :) Like how you decided on your homeschool curriculum, what a typical days looks like, and how you find and select outside programs to make sure your kids get the socialization they need (and so you get a break!). Thank you for all that you do and share!
Being in nature has helped me a lot to destress/calm my anxiety. I was always an "indoor kid" who appreciated nature just didn't enjoy the 100+ degrees. I love the butterfly migration, and like you said really looking at a tree, or following an ant trail to see where it leads...
I am currently in the last two weeks of nursing school to become an RN. I went back to school at 45 and this has been such a stressful season. I have spring fever and have been planting flowers and working outside. We found four Monarch butterfly eggs! We now have caterpillars (Lucky, Lucky Sr. and Lucky Jr., named by my 7 year old), the 4th I found this morning. I have had so much fun caring for them. I hadn't thought about it but it really does relieve my stress. I am in Florida and soon it will be too hot to enjoy but I am really enjoying it for now!
Thank you for this video, Jennifer! I will share it with my daughters. As you talked about stress vs. self-care, you described both so well. They are two sides of the same coin. The consequences of ignoring self care is stress. Appreciate all the work you do and content you have shared over the years. Thank you!
Great video! I’m a new subscriber, and I love your channel. Im also homeschooling 2 kids, have a toddler, and a baby. A year ago I was diagnosed with Benign Fasciculation Syndrome (I have muscle twitches all over) because of stress. My neurologist told me to reduce stress through yoga, evening outdoor walks, getting 8 hours of sleep per night, and cutting way back on coffee. He also recommended a magnesium supplement. I had no idea that stress could manifest physically.
Both those conditions sound like candida overgrowth. Stress can make those conditions break out. I have had similar things happen, it's tough to deal with.
Thanks for the video Jennifer. Your voice and demeanor alone are relaxing to me. We have restrictions with screens in our house for our son but, I am always on my phone and I think I do it as a stress reliever. My stress is related to work but some times family can also bring its own type of stress. I admire you with 4 kids and having time to help others through your channel and books. I got all your books on audible and I love them! I listened to them back to back last year while I did my gardening. It was awesome to then find you in youtube!. Thanks for helping us enrich our souls.
What works for me is Transcendental Meditation. When you transcend, there are no thoughts - just awareness. And the rest of the day feels a lot smoother and calm. This has also led to the realization that thoughts can cause stress. So if I find my mind filling with stressful worries, I observe the thoughts or just stop thinking them.
This is a wonderful video and I'm sending it to a friend I was chatting with on the phone, today, as she said she feels like she is going in so many different directions after a home remodel, volunteering at a dog rescue center walking dogs, taking the grass out of her yard and replacing it with bark, etc. It's taking the time to say "yes" to what matters and saying "no thank you" to all the distractions that become bad habits. I loved hearing how you played backgammon with your eldest daughter and chatted with your eldest son about the tree. Knowing you also play piano with your youngest daughter and enjoy quality time holding your youngest son shows that you are enjoying these precious life moments and feeding your soul as you feed their souls. Outstanding! Since I am like a hummingbird, am curious about many things, and move about quickly, I have to learn to slow down and focus, because I think a lot and want to explore various avenues of ideas and interests. When I don't sleep well, I can feel run down and my self care may involve having a cup of ginger tea with lemon and a dash of cayenne pepper. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm about to get a sore throat or my throat is dry and scratchy and I'll take note and dial it back and calm down, as you said. I like to rest with my cats for 10-15 minutes and wish I would do this more often. ( I know they would like it as much as I do, as we like each other's company!) The Rebounder is a great way to de-stress and when doing it outside, adding the sounds of nature, with breezes and birdsong, really helps. I like to keep the windows open and get fresh air. Watching your Daily Connoisseur videos is very relaxing to me, because it's peaceful and I learn something. I also like to write poetry, occasionally, and would enjoy more of that. I think finding a specific time of day to do the "intentional rest" is a discipline I need to create. Thanks again for your wise videos and I'm happy your eczema is under control.
Good morning Jennifer! I enjoyed this chat very much and especially loved when you were speaking about the tree. Too often we’re not in the moment and I found that I struggled with this when I was vlogging frequently. I think about what you said in not being concerned about capturing the moment to share it. It takes so much away from our life when we do that. This has been a big contributor as to why what I have decided to share on YT has changed because I want to enjoy my life and the people in it. There was so much good packed into this video but I’m happy you shared that study, it’s very true and exactly what I do when I am stressed, I look to get out in nature. I try to incorporate this daily anyway 🌹
I’m watching this morning before I need to tackle a long day of packing and moving so I need this! I’m so exhausted in trying to move my family of seven. I need to find some small moments to de stress. I am 40 and I actually do occasionally break out a little when I’m stressed still. Mostly when I’m stressed I find myself doing little things like biting my lips or something similar. I have thought before that your children really are at the perfect ages. Enjoy it! They will be teenagers someday soon and then worse, young adults. I am dealing with children from as old as young adults to teenagers and elementary age and toddler. I’m grateful for the good moments with my children. I love your story of the moss and the ants. We need more of that sort of thing.
Thank you so much for this video! I always thought I handled stress pretty well. I have a stressful job (busy with lots of paperwork/writing reports with legal deadlines, but also working with individuals who are sometimes in very distressing circumstances). I am also very efficient and would kind of treat my home duties and work duties as a "game"...trying to see how much I could get done in a day...how efficient I could be. Well it really caught up to me around the holidays this year. I felt like I had a lot of energy and pretty good but in the back of my mind it was starting to creep in that I would be in a mess if I got sick or hurt and I was finding that we couldn't even squeeze time into our week to stay home and relax or to research getting a new car. Then I started having panic attacks that seem to have been set off by caffeine (I only occasionally drink coffee). It was a huge wake up call because they were so frightening. I've had to slow WAY down. I'm now doing yoga/meditation early every morning, taking much more time to be present, cutting back on volunteer commitments, and limiting social engagements so we have bigger chunks of time to relax as a family every week.
Exercising is my anti-depressant, and being in nature is amazing. We took a 4 hour hike on Saturday in Chino Hills, and all the wild mustard and lupine and green hills created a sense of awe. Funny you mention backgammon....my hubby and I just started playing again after 20 years! So far he has beat me every time, so I am not sure that is stress relieving in my case, haha! I have forgotten all the strategy! :)
Love Charlotte Mason method of schooling. On the subject of eczema on your hands, I know you’ve been to the doctor and found out what it was but wanted to share my experience. When my grandson was born in November I started noticing eczema on my hands. I’ve never had problems with eczema but my mom and daughter has. I watch my grandson two times a week and then of course just normal family time. Not long later my daughter shared with me that she was adding lotion to his routine care for some dry skin patches on his legs. I told her that I wanted to switch him back to a different diaper brand while he was at my house because the ones she had currently switched to were not holding everything in, lots of blow outs. When we switched back to pampers, his little legs cleared up and so did my hands. Later when my daughter and I were discussing his legs, I let her know my hands were also affected. She then told me that her hands and been chapped real bad during that time frame and had recently cleared up. Wanted to share just in case this may help you as well. The brand that had broken us all out was Huggies.
Trees are very against stress🤫not very loud, but with those calming rustling sounds! Myself, I suffer from tinnitus, it usually pipes up (literally), after the stressy part is over. About 17 years ago, I had to go to a special clinic for treatment and there I learned focused hearing, away from the noises in my ears. More important: I learned to question the reasons for the really nasty sounds: why are you here? What happened? What can I do to improve/remove the situation? Can I do it now? If yes, then I do. If now, I tell my ears, that they can cut out the noise, as I am on the case. Then it stops and only comes back, if I don’t do as proposed. So: I first take in, there’s stress, after that I look for solutions and when have done, what could be done , I tell my body, that I‘m taking over and do.
Thats the kind of eczema I have... I get it on my hands and between my toes! thanks for mentioning that stress can cause it to flare up because I have never been able to pinpoint anything that causes flare ups. Stress makes perfect sense!
Fantastic video and lessons to be learnt. Just watching and listening attentively destressed me! Love your videos because I always feel like a friend is speaking to me ! True about self care, you can only take care of others if you take care of yourself :) I get shoulder tension and this is when I stop and practice being present in the moment, mindfulness colouring is helpful to me
Loved this video, Jennifer! I've been learning too that self-care is a must as a human with any kind of responsibility. We all have people in our lives who need us to be well (whether that's kids or coworkers!) and we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others. I loved all of your ideas for de-stressing. Yoga and rebounding do wonders for me, but I especially notice the benefits if I actually break a sweat, so I try to get to that point now even if I only have a few minutes to exercise. Also, since I had my baby in November, I've barely been sleeping, so I've made it a priority to make sure I nourish my body with really good food. Being tired can make me lax on my food choices, so making a conscious effort to eat tons of vegetables and healthy fats has made me feel so good, and, I've noticed, helped me to deal with stress better. I'd love for you to do more videos on this topic! We all need a continual reminder, I think.
Being a type-A personality, it sometimes very difficult to deal with things that are out of your control. Our life is always crazy, ever changing, and we live in a foreign country. Though it is an adventure, it does become difficult when you have medical or urgent issues. Luckily, it helps to live in a country that is surrounded by amazing art. We live in the Veneto state of Italy. I had the same stress eczema that you were talking about... but it went away! I just have to learn to let go of the things we do not have control over.
I have watched a lot of your videos that started with the wardrobe interest. Now I'm watching this one and I was so excited to hear you say you are I spired by Charlotte Mason. My goal is to homeschool with her philosophy. Yay! You are so inspiring !
I walk in the door from work and say “Alexa, play Daniel O Donnell” or “play Country Gospel” I let the old hymns wash over me. They help me refocus. Or, I check out what Falon Moss is up to on Moss tv. She’s usually in a rush to get things done, it it reminds me of what my life used to be. Our 5 are all grown now. More tub soaking time is in my future.
Hello Jennifer I was wondering if you would think about doing a video on how to combat worry and anxiety? I would love to hear your thoughts and I bet you have great advice. Thank you
Great video and great topic. Also Skillshare is an awesome site with a great mission, glad you could pair up with them! One thing I did recently was join a 5-week flower arranging class. Because it was at a scheduled time every Saturday, I was "forced" (in a good way) to spend a solid 2 hours each week engaged in a relaxing, creative activity. Now that the class is over, I will have to think of something else! :)
Thanks for this video, Jennifer! I'm struggling today because we live in Wisconsin and it was 70s and gorgeous on Monday and we just got about 6 inches of snow dumped on us overnight. :( I love being outside.... this time of year is hard for me because I can never count on getting to be outside in nature. (grew up in Kentucky where the weather is much fairer than WI.) The biggest way stress affects me is inflammation. Since having our son 2.5 years ago, I have struggled with my weight. Was always thin before getting pregnant. I actually don't have an answer for this tho, it's a current struggle. Getting outside would help for sure tho -- hopefully the weather will shift soon!! :)
Great chat. I like to take a bath with lavender Epsom salts and read and have a couple squares of dark chocolate! It feels so luxurious. We saw the butterfly migration down here too in Carlsbad and I went for a walk every day around my neighborhood to watch them fly around me. It was wonderful being in the moment with the butterflies and the sun shining. I can get little patches of eczema too when I get stressed and I put emu oil on it (I get it at sprouts) and it disappears with 1-2 days. In my early 30’s I also started getting a lump in my throat feeling whenever I got stressed. Now when I feel that I know it’s time to really take a step back.
For me I get stressed and ignore all the signs. My body ends up just shutting down and getting sick no matter how much I try to cover it up. My body just forces me to stop. I’m trying to get to that point where I de-stress before I get sick but it’s hard! I also have little kids and housework and homeschooling. It’s just hard to stop. Am I the only one? I sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel but I honestly do not even know why cleaning something right away will make a difference in my life vs doing it later. I haven’t found something that works for me on a consistent basis but doing the Chic assignments do make me feel like a human again. There is life outside dishes!
On point everything combined is the stress. Often I think I'm getting this all done all is well then my hair falls out or I can't sleep, I have to stop and think hay maybe I'm stressed maybe I should make time for stress and then that stresses me out dam I got to make time for more things 😂🤣😂
I’m going through a very tough time in my life and I found I cannot sleep at night anymore. I spend half my time thinking and the other half of my time anxious. No matter how hard I try it just doesn’t come until 2-4am. I need almost 9 hours of sleep to even feel rested so I wake up so late, that it’s night time again and I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done. Waiting for Ramadan to start, at least then I can have an excuse to stay up and be somewhat productive at night and sleep in the day. Don’t t know what I can do to break this horrible habit.
Hi Jennifer, I just read a book called The Biophilia Effect you may be interested in. I talks about the scientific reasons why being in nature is so important and it's very interesting. I love to take long hikes in our local woodland areas and try going to the Mountains as often as possible. The smell of fresh pine and a long walk in the solitude of nature work well for me. Thanks for discussing this topic, we could all use a few pointers!
My psoriasis gets much worse. I eat poorly and don't sleep well and I think this affects my skin. I only learned fairly recently that psoriasis is an autoimmune disease therefore it makes sense that stress affects my skin.
Jennifer, you must check out dr.dray here on TH-cam! She just made videos on angular Chelitis and dishydrotic eczema. I hope they help, please let me know if they do! I have dishydrotic eczema too, it just started within the last year. I’ve had “regular” eczema for 15 years but the itch from on dishydrotic eczema can be so intense. It’s a different beast altogether.
Thank you for the video! Skip as many videos as you need, we need healthy and happy Jennifer! I deal with stress by laughing at my favorite comic show. It’s kind and a nice show, no unhealthy humor. Laugh helps me feel back to my normal self. I can clean/ fold or do things like that while watching.
Do you wait to take a bath until all of the kids are asleep or does your husband watch them for you? If I tried to take a bth when the kids are awake they would just be pounding on the door and that stresses me out (they do that when I am showering or using the bathroom). But once the kids are asleep I am usually too exhausted to do anything besides go to bed.
Thank you for joining me for today's bonus video. I have been wanting to discuss stress for a long time now. I would love to hear your stress story in the comments below and please let us know how you plan to combat it. I'll see you tomorrow! With love, Jennifer
I'm studying mindfulness in my PhD right now, so this is a topic of deep interest to me. You hit the nail on the head and your voice and aura are so lovely and calming! A few additional things:
1) As Eckhart Tolle emphasizes, try being with nature without even labelling it. Our mind is constantly on and by just being still with a tree or a flower or a magnificent piece of nature, we can just share that energy without our minds construing it with words (which are constructs created by people).
2) I'm currently reading 5am Club by Robin Sharma and I love one line in it that says 'don't manage your time, manage your focus'. In other words, focus mindfully on a given task for its own sake, instead of focusing on the timeline (when possible of course!).
3) Many of Tolle's concepts have helped a great deal in not only managing but preventing stress. In a nutshell, bringing awareness to the present moment helps us detach from the mind, which is ultimately the cause of most of our stress!
Yes, good video. Slowing down and getting physical activity like walking helps me. Keeping things in perspective helps and I am trying to remember to pray and give thanks when stressed. Also, Another thing that relieves my stress without fail is...how can I say this in a classy way? It’s a really lovely physical feeling that comes from intimacy, I’ll say. Works without fail.
"Holding that baby is more important than tackling that pile of whatever..." You are so wise. Thank you for reminding us of this.
When the corners of my mouth cracked, which is quite painful, the doctor kept asking if I was eating a balanced diet or healthy diet. I asked him what that meant. This was in the early 70's. He prescribed vitamins, which didn't work until I got fed up and took 6 of my vitamins at once. Within hours the cracks had healed! That was after months of having these painful cracks. It was eye opening, and made me aware that mother was right in the late 50's when she had me take vitamins.
Changing our minds about what constitutes a "successful life" is the most significant stress reducer. We must decide what achievements are the components of a rich and full life. We cannot let society, friends, or even family decide what we should do to be successful.
kai west
How does this comment not have 143 thumbs up? Perfect assessment.
I like the way you present yourself, you're very softspoken, poised and elegant.
I am a bona fide, Type-A, perfectionist-do-all-the-things-&-do-them-better-than-anyone, 54 yr. old wife of 32 yrs., mother to 3 grown & married children, memaw to 4 (with twins on the way!), business owner, B.S in Early Childhood Ed., blah-blah-blah. When I was 23, I developed rheumatoid arthritis & IBS due to stress. It was debilitating, off & on, until the last 5 yrs., when I changed my diet & self-care routines. I now know immediately when I am not controlling my stress levels adequately, as the symptoms return with a vengeance. SO much I would say to the younger women of this community & to my younger self, regarding reasonable expectations in each season of your life. Today I combat stress in this order: spend more time cultivating my relationship with God, creating a "mind map" of all the things I need to do & then prioritizing or crossing out many of them, scheduling more time to rest, & cleaning up my diet. Nature, the arts, and family time get woven into the fabric of recovery as well.
I love your comment, Cindie! Thank you so much for sharing this!
I have IBS also and have recently been getting joint pain at times. I am trying to find a diet to help with the IBS but am struggling. Stress plays a role so I am taking more time to relax with a book and setting priorities for the day. I am learning to have more reasonable expectations for myself. Great advice! Thank you for sharing.
Linda Elliott I can highly recommend a keto-type diet!
I've IBS too. I now stick to a low FODMAP diet with great results. Managing stress helps as well.
Cindie McReynolds Oh thank you so much for the suggestion! I will check it out.
I had vertigo (dizziness) and also my head itchy since my pregnancy as I was alone so it was emotionally very stressful and I am finally getting better 99%. I am prioritising my self care as well, it’s definitely worth it.
Today I had a hair mask (egg, olive and coconut oil, apple cider vinegar for 2h) then a face mask with honey and now listening to classical music, I am going to read and do some yoga and meditation. I have also been writing in my personal journal. It’s really great!
I love Charlotte Mason's philosophy!
Insomnia, eczema and worrying are my physical cues that I am experiencing unhealthy stress levels. As an introvert in an extroverted "people" job that has a really heavy workload, I know I need a lot of stillness and silence to combat the busyness that happens in my brain.
I am so grateful for the example that Jesus set for us. He could have easily said "there are too many people who need me, I can't take a break," yet he often took time aside in solitude with the Father, even in the midst of people pursuing him for healing and teaching. Jesus' example helps me to take time in solitude even when there is always someone demanding my time and attention.
My stress tends to manifest as hives or yelling 🙈 I try really hard to not reach the yelling point now. Self care works so well. Going to my husband and telling him I need time to myself (homeschool mom of five - ages 9,7,5, almost 3, and almost 1 - deep in the trenches) helps him to know I’m close to my breaking point. We have daily (try to anyway...haha) quiet ‘hour’ or I will disappear onto our front porch with a cup of coffee or tea and a good book. I am gardening a lot this year. Getting my hands in the dirt helps me so much! I love handcrafts like knitting, crochet, and embroidery. Doing a little of those with tea is also calming for me. I do hold my baby and encourage other mothers to do the same. My 9 year old seems to have gone from baby to boy who won’t ask for kisses or hugs anymore (though he gladly accepts when they are offered, for now) overnight. It goes too quick. I think part of the self care is to let go of busy. Just let it go and rock the little ones, or play the game, or take the bath! I cannot tell you how often I have said ‘I’m much too tired to soak tonight.’ Busy is a lie we tell ourselves that keeps us in this constant state of stress. Thank you so much for this video. It is so important to deal with stress.
I can tell u my story on stress and hopefully it might help. I wanted my home to be sparkly clean and I would focus on every nook and cranny making sure it sparkle to perfection. Big mistake on my part I should had managed my stress on what was important and that was my children. Children won’t remember how clean and chic there home is. They will remember the fun they had with mom, dad and siblings. Balance my dear the dishes, dust will always be there, but in a blink of an eye our babies are grown men and women. You are not superwoman you are a mom. God bless
Thank you for what you do. I went today and got some presentable pajamas with a robe (it was a set) and come home, soaked in a hot bath and practice self care. Thank you for the inspiration!
My latest manifestation from stress...the doctors put me through tests to be sure i wasn't having a heart attack! It was so scary! Panic attacks are no joke. I actually took me totally removing myself from a certain situation and relationship to reclaim calm and peace in my life.
Nature has been called God’s second Bible. Very wise of you.
One thing as a pastor's wife I do to reduce stress is to discern between hurting and complaining people. I will always try to make time for people who are hurting, but people who are complaining sap my energy big time and I can't really help because they are determined that there are no solutions. I will talk to a hurting friend/ church member for an hour and a half - I limit myself to five minutes to a complaining person.....
Hi Jennifer, I agree, I feel Self-care has helped with my overall health. Last Fall, I had similar experience when I was stressed my skin had mild eczema around my eyes and other areas of my body (never had this happen before) ... I went to doctor, dermatologist, eye doctor several times and they said they couldn't figure out why, except maybe stress. I had to pull back even more on getting things done, as it was painful and not attractive to see myself in the mirror. I guess in a way it was my body was screaming for me to slow down and take care of it - when my body breaks down I finally do listen. For self-care, I do weekly natural body scrub (inspired by your recipe) and I wake up 20 min before my family to have a cup of coffee and journal. I should add in nature, thanks for the reminder and appreciate you doing this video!! It's an important one I believe for us as women (in addition to work, home, kids, friend, wife role...we have those things called hormones, lol). Hugs!
I feel very stressed and anxious. My husband and I had the empty nest for a couple years then my father had some serious health issues so now I care for them, my mom and dad. I feel so alone a lot. And I have to have my phone on as if an aide calls with a problem, I have to be there. So the phone causes me anxiety, too. I purposely, take a small tea break in the middle of the afternoon. Even if it is just sitting in quiet space for a few minutes, it seems to help. I read. I spend time with my God to de-stress. I know this is a season and to remind myself of that helps, too. Thank you for the video. :)
My children are all grown. I'm grateful for the times that I sat coloring with my little girl, while a pile of dishes were in the sink. You are so right...enjoy each child, each moment...they are all a gift.
Such a great video, so glad I found your channel ☺
Yes, cuddle that baby! My baby is 16 now & could pick me up! I miss those days, but also enjoy every stage my children have gone through. Thanks for sharing your experiences, it helps people realize they are not alone.
I read Charlotte Mason 32 years ago (and then Maria Montessori) when my son was born. Those books are timeless.
My story is that I've had violent panic attacks since I was a child, that could be every day or just one every several months depending on how stressed I am. They've really started to bother me since becoming a mom because I have very little control over when I have them so I've recently started therapy to try to work out why they happen and what I can do to stop them. When I get very stressed I have lots of attacks, I start grinding my teeth at night, my face breaks out, and at times I've dealt with hallucinations. The rest of the time I appear to be a very well rounded and we'll adjusted person, but my anxiety can be crippling. Becoming a mom has brought me so many new anxieties and, of course, anxiety about my anxiety. One thing you said that struck a cord with me was that we have to take time for self care, because I realized that I minimize in my mind the effect self care would have to the point that I don't do it at all because I see it as being in the way of getting through my to-do list which is what I tend to think will actually help me to feel better. But the to-do list is truly never ending, and I'll never escape it, so I'll work on choosing acts of self care.
hi Kaitlyn, I understand you. it happened to me a few years. now my child also struggles with that but that experiences served to be more compassionate and empathetic😇 thank God ,I try the best praying. I try to slow down when I m so rush,the most important is you are blessed, life is beautiful, Sometimes need just make plans to start the day .choose things what are constructive for you a family. blessings 🏡😇⚘
Beautifully said. I read an article last week where a neuroscientist discussed the effect of multitasking on the brain, saying it has much the same effect as simultaneously pressing the gas and brake pedals in a car. Lots of energy expended, to little or no avail. This is true for me with any tasks requiring mental work, so simplifying into single-focus work segments helps my scrambled brain. That, and taking walks! Plus tea, always. ;) And the Psalms have a way of grounding me in peace and hope.
I get migraines which literally make me stop. After 30 years I'm still trying to draw back from the whirlwind of jobs and thoughts that bring them on. I have to keep reminding myself to give everything to God in prayer. Quiet times with God are so important for me. Other times I read, I'm a prolific reader, just love getting lost in a book.And the bath idea-thank you for reminding me just how good that feels-i'm off for a bath right now!
When I get stressed I pull at my hair. I have a balding spot near the nape of my neck. I'm trying to get better at it, as having uneven hair tempts me to become even more stressed! It is a subconscious habit now. If I thinking about something really hard,nervous , daydreaming or trying to figure something out I "twiggle". It really is embarrassing, especially at my age. I'm trying to be kinder to myself and not compare myself to other ladies.😣
Hello, Jennifer! I carry stress in my shoulders, so my muscles there are tight. I have never had a massage due to its cost, but I do suspect that once I start, I might not be able to stop! To destress, I like taking a walk, lounging in silence, reading, thinking positively or daydreaming, and indulging in simple pleasures, often eating or drinking something.
Yesterday I had a migraine, stress related. I'm a teacher, and we had just had a very long testing inservice in preparation of the "all important" state testing which begins next week. Driving home, the migraine started. It's still with me today, but, of course, I had a parent meeting early this morning so could not slow down. When I'm stressed, I tend to crave carbs. Oh, how I wish I could be the type of person who did not want to eat when I was stressed. Thank you for this video. It came at just the right time.
When I get stressed, I get irritable. I really dislike this about myself.
Tina Brigham I can totally relate!
Oh my God, I have the same reaction to stress - and I have had it since my childhood- eczema on my hand, corners of my lips cracking. The lips thing went away now (thanks God, cause I can use a lipstick 😁). But my hands are the real indicator of my life - and they are all clear only when I’m super happy - the beginning of relationship for example 🤷♀️
Your blog posts and videos do seem effortless, but I know we only see the finished results. On your videos you come across like you are sitting down to chat with a friend.
When I get stressed, I will get headaches and tension in my neck and shoulders. I also find that I have more trouble concentrating. If my stress levels go really high, I will have stomach pain, and I will also lose my appetite. I've found that getting in nature is a great way for me to feel refreshed and restored. A nice long walk in a quiet forest is best, but even a few minutes of outdoor time here and there helps.
I find that spending time in nature, listening to music & journaling all help to de stress. Learning to make time for yourself is s healthy habit to cultivate.
Many good ideas here Jennifer. I would like to add that most often we are the cause of our own stress! We cannot have it all and do it all - at least not all at the same time. Sometimes if we can choose to have less materially - ie work less - we are at the same time choosing to have more time. More time means less stress.
As an older mum who has been self-employed, a single mum and a homeschool mum - I would say to younger women that you cannot keep your precious health if you continually CHOOSE to do too much. Eventually it will catch up with you no matter how many hot baths or nature walks you take.
Madeleine Lawrence I love this and think there is much wisdom in what you say. I’ve noticed in my life, to keep balance, I often have to choose what is most important in that season of life and be willing to let go of other things.
Thank you for this candid video, Jennifer. I find that when it is extremely busy (we all have those seasons), sometimes it is best to hire someone trustworthy to help out with the heavier chores, like vacuuming, floor mopping, etc. Help once a week can alleviate the very, very heavy burden many of us carry nowadays. Not only is time freed to spend it with one's family and so not miss precious moments in their lives, but also the extra income can be of real help to someone who needs it. A win/win scenario.
I needed this today. I’m an emotional/stress eater, and I’m trying to recognize it when I’m doing it. Also, thank you for all you do for your blog community!
The 7-11 breathing method really relaxes me. Also sitting in a dim room with candles and physical books or magazines no screens works wonders along with tea ☕️ love your line “feed your soul”
I am stressed as I am in my last semester of college. These hard assignments paired with keeping the home clean and tidy, spending time with my boyfriend and cat, being social and having time for myself and my to do list is just too much. I did end up dropping a class to take in the summer so lightening my course load and spreading it out made me less stressed. Now to get my boyfriend to help out more...
I love your idea of appreciating and experiencing nature. We are in day #2 of a 3 day winter storm here in Wisconsin. We feed the birds in the winter, they usually eat early mornings and late afternoons. Yesterday morning my front yard was bare but this morning we had 8" of new snow. There were dozens of little song birds hopping around on top of the snow looking for food. It was snowing hard and the wind gusting so badly I did not have the heart to bundle up and fill my feeders. So I stood at the patio doors in my dining room and master bedroom and flung scoopfuls of black oil sunflower seeds on top of the snow. The birds have been feeding for hours and closer to the house than usual so we can really see them. Probably 70-90 birds and quite a variety. Every time I look out and see all those birds my heart is happy. My husband feels housebound today and he also is being charmed by the birds. Thank you for another helpful video.
I Love your videos Jennifer!!! Thank you for sharing your life lessons and being authentic.
Every time when I walk to school with my 7 and 5 year old children we look at trees, comment how they changed, which flowers are blooming , we name the plants, sometimes pretend there are trolls or other creatures hiding in bushes...we pray... after coming home I feel so relaxed,productive,energetic. And every time my husband drops children to school on the way to work(when he has time) and I don't spend that morning time walking ,enjoying my children's company and nature I feel like something is missing,like the day is not complete.THANK YOU SO MUCH for reminder how important it is to reconnect with nature. Blessings for everyone!!!!
A wonderful video. I found myself nodding alot. My physical manifestations of stress include mouth ulcers, headaches, neck/shoulder tension and other physical pains. Meditation, yoga, physical exercise, being outdoors, spending time with pets are all good (and free) ways to chill. Most people are attached to their phones, do several things at once and are at their upper limits of stress. I think that’s why we see so many examples of poor manners and lack of self awareness. Everyone is in a rush. I love your story of watching the ants with your two year-old. I’m a ‘recovering perfectionist’ myself - one day at a time 😀 Best wishes from Australia xx
I have an autoimmune disease and I was in remission over the summer, but now my symptoms have returned which means I will need to go back on medication. So I was feeling very down and stressed about dealing with that and my instinct was to eat something to make myself feel better - but I didn’t. I walked away from the pantry and did something else to distract my mind and it worked and I felt so much better for not giving in.
Being a busy mama and Life is so stressful to me. I get alot of hair loss, sleeping issues. Less sleep = more stress😕 But I too deal with it with long hot baths, gardening going for walks in the Ravine by my house&prayer❤
Hi Jennifer! I would love a video tutorial on how you prepare your bath 🛁
Great advice. Having a hot bath was my main destress activity when my 3 kids were little. It’s truly magical.
This month I have chosen to step away from social media (IG, FB, and making YT videos)and cut down my you tube viewing (catching up with your videos is essential) and it has made a tremendous difference in my life. I had a goal to get back to reading and read one novel a week (I usually only read self improvement types of books). I’m halfway through my 3rd book and it’s only March 11! It amazing and I am loving it! Reading for pleasure is such a calming activity :)💜
That's awesome, Teri! I need a break from it all too! I will take one soon. Sending love. xx
TeriGigi +
For me, feeling stress starts with not being able to sleep. Laying there for hours wide away. It can also manifest in say my back going out, which it is right now! Lol I think my biggest problem is striving, just striving to do more, produce more. The good thing with these symptoms is it lets me know to step back, tone it down and enjoy my life. A big help for me is prayer. Spending time in the Lords presence and being on the Word. I also enjoy being outside and just being present. I often wonder how you do it all. Slow down a bit. Enjoy. It will all get down. Thanks for tackling all these great issues. Oh and my new 10 item wardrobe is definitely a stress reliever❤️
I do get minor stresses when I’m overwhelmed with lots to do and a short time frame to do it in. I still haven’t found a great way to de-stress whilst getting stuff done, but short breaks (in a different room if I can’t manage outside) and planning a day off after the rush is over helps.
However, for long term stressful situations like losing my mother to cancer over a 15 month period, made me learn the importance of self care and not sweating the small stuff. In the grand scheme of things 90% of my day to day stresses aren’t that big a deal, so as you say making sure you gain back your perspective is crucial.
Before my mum got sick, I was someone who got stressed because I was always in a hurry and that was made worse because of a chronic illness I have that makes me slower and it was frustrating for a very long time. I had to give up my masters degree because of it, and I was frustrated because I would be envious of others getting on with life while I was still stuck being hugely slowed down by my illness instead of climbing the corporate ladder or whatever else I used to think I should have done by age X. I fit the stereotype of a perfectionist and highly stressed Virgo until everything changed.
But my mum being ill turned my world upside down and broke my dad’s and my hearts and suddenly everything you take for granted is ripped out from under you but equally all those things you thought were important you truly realise they really really aren’t. It changed me from someone who stresses about virtually everything and trying to make everything perfect and do everything perfectly to someone who now knows there is very little that is of vital importance: as long as you have your faith and your loved ones are safe and healthy everything else will work itself out somehow and that makes me less prone to stress and the regulation anxiety that usually accompanies the stress.
Also cute animal and happy, giggling baby videos on TH-cam help😉
I’m a homeschooling mom of two young boys and extremely stressful moments can cause alopecia. I’d lose a patch of my hair about the size of a quarter. It’s enough of a reason for me to make stress relief a priority! Being creative helps me tremendously. Writing, playing instruments, singing. Also exercise. Even if it’s just a quick walk or a mini yoga session. Connecting with people in person is so helpful too. We can be so isolated. Your videos relieve stress. Staying in gratitude and letting go of the need to control everything is such a major relief.
I love all of your ideas, added to those I would put playing the piano. It is a wonderful stress reliever for me, and not just a reliever of stress, if I am worried, or hurt, or sad it soothes my soul.
Yes! I have so many more things I could add, I might do a follow-up video. I thought of that after shooting.
Such a timely video for me. I shared with my Husband last night that I’m the most stretched thin that I’ve ever been. My words describing all my commitments were similar to yours- I love all I do. It’s the combination that makes me feel incapable and maybe even weakened by the stress. Thanks for sharing. I was praying this morning for some encouragement in this area of my life. This video was an answer to my prayers so thank you. I feel very encouraged and have some practical wisdom to apply. ❤️
Wonderful video, Jennifer. Yes, the child-raising years are very rewarding but stressful. The number 1 way I avoid/remove stress is through boundaries. With my time, with relationships, and with what I allow to influence me. People-pleasing, perfection and unrealistic expectations will create stress. Having a strong sense of self-worth and knowing what is right for you at any particular season is so critical. I'm loving your chic assignments!❤❤
Your videos always come at the perfect time! I've been struggling with new motherhood, my writing work, and keeping our home and homecooked meals to the standards I was used to. I've slowly started to see that I need to re-prioritize and that some things need to fall away. To combat stress, I give myself something to look forward to during different times of the day. In the morning it's my matcha green tea latte and reading one Shelley poem (loving this month's chic assignment!). In the afternoon it's reading one chapter from a novel I'm reading. And in the evening it's a 10-minute bedtime yoga routine by SarahBethYoga.
On an entirely different note, I am loving the "Mother Culture" book you mentioned! When things are less busy for you, would you consider doing an e-course on homeschooling? It was never an option I considered, but the more I learn about Charlotte Mason and Waldorf philosophies I am intrigued :) Like how you decided on your homeschool curriculum, what a typical days looks like, and how you find and select outside programs to make sure your kids get the socialization they need (and so you get a break!). Thank you for all that you do and share!
Being in nature has helped me a lot to destress/calm my anxiety. I was always an "indoor kid" who appreciated nature just didn't enjoy the 100+ degrees. I love the butterfly migration, and like you said really looking at a tree, or following an ant trail to see where it leads...
I am currently in the last two weeks of nursing school to become an RN. I went back to school at 45 and this has been such a stressful season. I have spring fever and have been planting flowers and working outside. We found four Monarch butterfly eggs! We now have caterpillars (Lucky, Lucky Sr. and Lucky Jr., named by my 7 year old), the 4th I found this morning. I have had so much fun caring for them. I hadn't thought about it but it really does relieve my stress. I am in Florida and soon it will be too hot to enjoy but I am really enjoying it for now!
You have so much going on! I love that you are taking time to garden.
@@TheDailyConnoisseur to be honest it was a combination of spring fever and your gardening videos that I caught up on that inspired me.
What a timely and beautiful message. God bless you Jennifer 💓
Thank you for this video, Jennifer! I will share it with my daughters. As you talked about stress vs. self-care, you described both so well. They are two sides of the same coin. The consequences of ignoring self care is stress. Appreciate all the work you do and content you have shared over the years. Thank you!
I loved playing dominoes with my mum when I was a kid. Such good memories.
Thankyou very much. Now off to make a cup of tea then watch this
Great video! I’m a new subscriber, and I love your channel. Im also homeschooling 2 kids, have a toddler, and a baby. A year ago I was diagnosed with Benign Fasciculation Syndrome (I have muscle twitches all over) because of stress. My neurologist told me to reduce stress through yoga, evening outdoor walks, getting 8 hours of sleep per night, and cutting way back on coffee. He also recommended a magnesium supplement. I had no idea that stress could manifest physically.
Both those conditions sound like candida overgrowth. Stress can make those conditions break out. I have had similar things happen, it's tough to deal with.
I just so enjoyed listening to you tell of the moment with your son. :)
Thanks for the video Jennifer. Your voice and demeanor alone are relaxing to me. We have restrictions with screens in our house for our son but, I am always on my phone and I think I do it as a stress reliever. My stress is related to work but some times family can also bring its own type of stress. I admire you with 4 kids and having time to help others through your channel and books. I got all your books on audible and I love them! I listened to them back to back last year while I did my gardening. It was awesome to then find you in youtube!. Thanks for helping us enrich our souls.
What works for me is Transcendental Meditation. When you transcend, there are no thoughts - just awareness. And the rest of the day feels a lot smoother and calm. This has also led to the realization that thoughts can cause stress. So if I find my mind filling with stressful worries, I observe the thoughts or just stop thinking them.
This is a wonderful video and I'm sending it to a friend I was chatting with on the phone, today, as she said she feels like she is going in so many different directions after a home remodel, volunteering at a dog rescue center walking dogs, taking the grass out of her yard and replacing it with bark, etc. It's taking the time to say "yes" to what matters and saying "no thank you" to all the distractions that become bad habits.
I loved hearing how you played backgammon with your eldest daughter and chatted with your eldest son about the tree. Knowing you also play piano with your youngest daughter and enjoy quality time holding your youngest son shows that you are enjoying these precious life moments and feeding your soul as you feed their souls. Outstanding!
Since I am like a hummingbird, am curious about many things, and move about quickly, I have to learn to slow down and focus, because I think a lot and want to explore various avenues of ideas and interests. When I don't sleep well, I can feel run down and my self care may involve having a cup of ginger tea with lemon and a dash of cayenne pepper. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm about to get a sore throat or my throat is dry and scratchy and I'll take note and dial it back and calm down, as you said. I like to rest with my cats for 10-15 minutes and wish I would do this more often. ( I know they would like it as much as I do, as we like each other's company!) The Rebounder is a great way to de-stress and when doing it outside, adding the sounds of nature, with breezes and birdsong, really helps. I like to keep the windows open and get fresh air. Watching your Daily Connoisseur videos is very relaxing to me, because it's peaceful and I learn something. I also like to write poetry, occasionally, and would enjoy more of that. I think finding a specific time of day to do the "intentional rest" is a discipline I need to create. Thanks again for your wise videos and I'm happy your eczema is under control.
Good morning Jennifer! I enjoyed this chat very much and especially loved when you were speaking about the tree. Too often we’re not in the moment and I found that I struggled with this when I was vlogging frequently. I think about what you said in not being concerned about capturing the moment to share it. It takes so much away from our life when we do that. This has been a big contributor as to why what I have decided to share on YT has changed because I want to enjoy my life and the people in it. There was so much good packed into this video but I’m happy you shared that study, it’s very true and exactly what I do when I am stressed, I look to get out in nature. I try to incorporate this daily anyway 🌹
Hi Nikki, Yes about capturing the moment! I enjoy our talks. They help me to de-stress! haha love you xx
I feel the same! It’s always neat when I’m thinking of telling you something and then I get a text from you!
I’m watching this morning before I need to tackle a long day of packing and moving so I need this! I’m so exhausted in trying to move my family of seven. I need to find some small moments to de stress. I am 40 and I actually do occasionally break out a little when I’m stressed still. Mostly when I’m stressed I find myself doing little things like biting my lips or something similar. I have thought before that your children really are at the perfect ages. Enjoy it! They will be teenagers someday soon and then worse, young adults. I am dealing with children from as old as young adults to teenagers and elementary age and toddler. I’m grateful for the good moments with my children. I love your story of the moss and the ants. We need more of that sort of thing.
Thank you so much for this video! I always thought I handled stress pretty well. I have a stressful job (busy with lots of paperwork/writing reports with legal deadlines, but also working with individuals who are sometimes in very distressing circumstances). I am also very efficient and would kind of treat my home duties and work duties as a "game"...trying to see how much I could get done in a day...how efficient I could be. Well it really caught up to me around the holidays this year. I felt like I had a lot of energy and pretty good but in the back of my mind it was starting to creep in that I would be in a mess if I got sick or hurt and I was finding that we couldn't even squeeze time into our week to stay home and relax or to research getting a new car. Then I started having panic attacks that seem to have been set off by caffeine (I only occasionally drink coffee). It was a huge wake up call because they were so frightening. I've had to slow WAY down. I'm now doing yoga/meditation early every morning, taking much more time to be present, cutting back on volunteer commitments, and limiting social engagements so we have bigger chunks of time to relax as a family every week.
Exercising is my anti-depressant, and being in nature is amazing. We took a 4 hour hike on Saturday in Chino Hills, and all the wild mustard and lupine and green hills created a sense of awe. Funny you mention backgammon....my hubby and I just started playing again after 20 years! So far he has beat me every time, so I am not sure that is stress relieving in my case, haha! I have forgotten all the strategy! :)
What a great bonus video. Thank you for sharing. This is such an important topic...
Love Charlotte Mason method of schooling. On the subject of eczema on your hands, I know you’ve been to the doctor and found out what it was but wanted to share my experience. When my grandson was born in November I started noticing eczema on my hands. I’ve never had problems with eczema but my mom and daughter has. I watch my grandson two times a week and then of course just normal family time. Not long later my daughter shared with me that she was adding lotion to his routine care for some dry skin patches on his legs. I told her that I wanted to switch him back to a different diaper brand while he was at my house because the ones she had currently switched to were not holding everything in, lots of blow outs. When we switched back to pampers, his little legs cleared up and so did my hands. Later when my daughter and I were discussing his legs, I let her know my hands were also affected. She then told me that her hands and been chapped real bad during that time frame and had recently cleared up. Wanted to share just in case this may help you as well. The brand that had broken us all out was Huggies.
Check out dr.dray here on TH-cam for eczema product recommendations!
Trees are very against stress🤫not very loud, but with those calming rustling sounds! Myself, I suffer from tinnitus, it usually pipes up (literally), after the stressy part is over. About 17 years ago, I had to go to a special clinic for treatment and there I learned focused hearing, away from the noises in my ears. More important: I learned to question the reasons for the really nasty sounds: why are you here? What happened? What can I do to improve/remove the situation? Can I do it now? If yes, then I do. If now, I tell my ears, that they can cut out the noise, as I am on the case. Then it stops and only comes back, if I don’t do as proposed. So: I first take in, there’s stress, after that I look for solutions and when have done, what could be done , I tell my body, that I‘m taking over and do.
Thats the kind of eczema I have... I get it on my hands and between my toes! thanks for mentioning that stress can cause it to flare up because I have never been able to pinpoint anything that causes flare ups. Stress makes perfect sense!
Check out dr.dray here on TH-cam!
Thank you for sharing your tips and ways to destress!
Fantastic video and lessons to be learnt. Just watching and listening attentively destressed me! Love your videos because I always feel like a friend is speaking to me ! True about self care, you can only take care of others if you take care of yourself :) I get shoulder tension and this is when I stop and practice being present in the moment, mindfulness colouring is helpful to me
Loved this video, Jennifer! I've been learning too that self-care is a must as a human with any kind of responsibility. We all have people in our lives who need us to be well (whether that's kids or coworkers!) and we have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others.
I loved all of your ideas for de-stressing. Yoga and rebounding do wonders for me, but I especially notice the benefits if I actually break a sweat, so I try to get to that point now even if I only have a few minutes to exercise. Also, since I had my baby in November, I've barely been sleeping, so I've made it a priority to make sure I nourish my body with really good food. Being tired can make me lax on my food choices, so making a conscious effort to eat tons of vegetables and healthy fats has made me feel so good, and, I've noticed, helped me to deal with stress better. I'd love for you to do more videos on this topic! We all need a continual reminder, I think.
Being a type-A personality, it sometimes very difficult to deal with things that are out of your control. Our life is always crazy, ever changing, and we live in a foreign country. Though it is an adventure, it does become difficult when you have medical or urgent issues. Luckily, it helps to live in a country that is surrounded by amazing art. We live in the Veneto state of Italy. I had the same stress eczema that you were talking about... but it went away! I just have to learn to let go of the things we do not have control over.
I have watched a lot of your videos that started with the wardrobe interest. Now I'm watching this one and I was so excited to hear you say you are I spired by Charlotte Mason. My goal is to homeschool with her philosophy. Yay! You are so inspiring !
Wonderful video! Great advice.
I walk in the door from work and say “Alexa, play Daniel O Donnell” or “play Country Gospel” I let the old hymns wash over me. They help me refocus. Or, I check out what Falon Moss is up to on Moss tv. She’s usually in a rush to get things done, it it reminds me of what my life used to be. Our 5 are all grown now. More tub soaking time is in my future.
I love Falon. Her videos are so relaxing to me too. I don't know how she does it all!
Thank you, a lovely video.
Hello Jennifer I was wondering if you would think about doing a video on how to combat worry and anxiety? I would love to hear your thoughts and I bet you have great advice. Thank you
Great video and great topic. Also Skillshare is an awesome site with a great mission, glad you could pair up with them! One thing I did recently was join a 5-week flower arranging class. Because it was at a scheduled time every Saturday, I was "forced" (in a good way) to spend a solid 2 hours each week engaged in a relaxing, creative activity. Now that the class is over, I will have to think of something else! :)
Thanks for this video, Jennifer! I'm struggling today because we live in Wisconsin and it was 70s and gorgeous on Monday and we just got about 6 inches of snow dumped on us overnight. :( I love being outside.... this time of year is hard for me because I can never count on getting to be outside in nature. (grew up in Kentucky where the weather is much fairer than WI.) The biggest way stress affects me is inflammation. Since having our son 2.5 years ago, I have struggled with my weight. Was always thin before getting pregnant. I actually don't have an answer for this tho, it's a current struggle. Getting outside would help for sure tho -- hopefully the weather will shift soon!! :)
Great chat. I like to take a bath with lavender Epsom salts and read and have a couple squares of dark chocolate! It feels so luxurious. We saw the butterfly migration down here too in Carlsbad and I went for a walk every day around my neighborhood to watch them fly around me. It was wonderful being in the moment with the butterflies and the sun shining. I can get little patches of eczema too when I get stressed and I put emu oil on it (I get it at sprouts) and it disappears with 1-2 days. In my early 30’s I also started getting a lump in my throat feeling whenever I got stressed. Now when I feel that I know it’s time to really take a step back.
Lovely video..really enjoyed this heart-to-heart.
Hello! Can you make videos about the nature study and observation please?
Thank you 🙏🏽
I turn into a screaming banshee under stress. My whole body breaks out.
For me I get stressed and ignore all the signs. My body ends up just shutting down and getting sick no matter how much I try to cover it up. My body just forces me to stop. I’m trying to get to that point where I de-stress before I get sick but it’s hard! I also have little kids and housework and homeschooling. It’s just hard to stop. Am I the only one? I sometimes feel like a hamster on a wheel but I honestly do not even know why cleaning something right away will make a difference in my life vs doing it later. I haven’t found something that works for me on a consistent basis but doing the Chic assignments do make me feel like a human again. There is life outside dishes!
On point everything combined is the stress. Often I think I'm getting this all done all is well then my hair falls out or I can't sleep, I have to stop and think hay maybe I'm stressed maybe I should make time for stress and then that stresses me out dam I got to make time for more things 😂🤣😂
Are those new flowers in the background? They look lovely!
Yes! I linked them in the description box. Thank you!
Jennifer, I would love to destress by listening to audio books! Who is your favorite narrator for the Agatha Christie books?
Hugh Fraser. He is amazing!
Stress = back and neck strain, headaches, and insomnia.
I’m going through a very tough time in my life and I found I cannot sleep at night anymore. I spend half my time thinking and the other half of my time anxious. No matter how hard I try it just doesn’t come until 2-4am. I need almost 9 hours of sleep to even feel rested so I wake up so late, that it’s night time again and I feel like I haven’t gotten anything done. Waiting for Ramadan to start, at least then I can have an excuse to stay up and be somewhat productive at night and sleep in the day. Don’t t know what I can do to break this horrible habit.
Hi Jennifer, I just read a book called The Biophilia Effect you may be interested in. I talks about the scientific reasons why being in nature is so important and it's very interesting. I love to take long hikes in our local woodland areas and try going to the Mountains as often as possible. The smell of fresh pine and a long walk in the solitude of nature work well for me. Thanks for discussing this topic, we could all use a few pointers!
My psoriasis gets much worse. I eat poorly and don't sleep well and I think this affects my skin. I only learned fairly recently that psoriasis is an autoimmune disease therefore it makes sense that stress affects my skin.
One occasion, I hyper ventilated. Another occasion, I had chest pains.
I read, “The Nature Fix”, and it is absolutely fascinating! Definitely check it out if you haven’t already!
Jennifer, you must check out dr.dray here on TH-cam! She just made videos on angular Chelitis and dishydrotic eczema. I hope they help, please let me know if they do! I have dishydrotic eczema too, it just started within the last year. I’ve had “regular” eczema for 15 years but the itch from on dishydrotic eczema can be so intense. It’s a different beast altogether.
Thank you for the video! Skip as many videos as you need, we need healthy and happy Jennifer!
I deal with stress by laughing at my favorite comic show. It’s kind and a nice show, no unhealthy humor. Laugh helps me feel back to my normal self. I can clean/ fold or do things like that while watching.
Do you wait to take a bath until all of the kids are asleep or does your husband watch them for you? If I tried to take a bth when the kids are awake they would just be pounding on the door and that stresses me out (they do that when I am showering or using the bathroom). But once the kids are asleep I am usually too exhausted to do anything besides go to bed.
I start each day with my lemon water and I read God's word and pray. I find this always starts my day out right and everything seems to go well.
Nice 🥰