Envy and jealousy work together and are mean spirits; walk away because you can't change the minds of those who inhabit these traits no matter how kind you are; I've learned this absolute truth during 70+ years of living
Narcissists are egomaniacs consumed by envy and Jealousy. They haaaaate it when someone compliments you in their presence. Hell, they even get upset if someone speaks well of your dog!!
This happened to me the other day while also neutralizing the threat of one mentally ill narc I encounter at a store, someone ahead of me in line was extremely polite to me & conversational & they had a physical fit that this man was so nice & wanted my approval but had to force themselves to calm down, their next method was going outside & chain smoking to calm themselves down (& hoping I inhale it when I get outside) . I can finally go back to this store & they have great surveillance there but this person wants to physically harm me & I think it is possible they mutilate my property sometimes They almost killed me in their car when I had no idea how drunk they were I walked home They spread lies & rumors about me but they might stop this as well I never realized they were battling mental illness & when I first got to know them they acted like the nicest person & friend But they dont care about anyone they cant
Their joy cannot die, because they are not able to rejoice over anything. And they are envious that you can. The only abnormal kind of "joy" they ever feel is when someone they envy suffers or fails in life a.k.a Schadenfreude.
In the simplest terms "Your joy is their misery & your misery is their joy." They will kick you while you're down and shit all over your accomplishments/worth. I've met a few people that have the instant reaction to laugh at someone struggling. And if someone is joyful and laughing, they will make a dig or simply look annoyed or bothered. 🚩🚩🚩 Staying far away from those people improved my mental health and happiness 💯 percent.
So true. My envious sister gave me money occasionally but she took so much from me mentally and emotionally that I ended up with less. She, like the rest of the family, fully dehumanized me....at least for awhile. No contact now and feeling human again.
Yes, we deserve to maintain our viability as individuals. Empathy generally in all situations is constrained as it might be on a budget. It helps us to generate or moderate it on an even flow that's healthy for us, a condition of maintaining adequate portions of esteem.
I'd sum it up as people who are just empty shells without a spark of life within. Amassing material possessions is their way of feeling alive, alas, it's fleeting at best, and once they have what they have been craving, it immediately becomes uninteresting. Enter a vicious cycle.
You can actually see the envy/resentment as they (narcissists) clench their jaws in response to any success/possessions that upset their fragile self esteem. Usually accompanied by cold, joyless eyes.
I was wondering if anyone would notice. Also on my other channel I did a video on the gray rock method and wore a gray shirt. Trying to stay on point with the message! Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Thanks for all you do, Dr C! I had problems with being envious as a child, but was lucky to grow out of it. My mom helped a lot with it. My dad was green. Lol!
It's German and it perfectly describes the ultimative goal of an envious person. They celebrate when you fail. And when you really suffer, it's like all their dreams come true.
Envy can be dangerous. When severe it becomes all consuming & inconsolable. To stop their intolerable pain, they will destroy everything & everyone driving their envy. ie. "If I can't have it, no one can."
That is exactly what the dark demon told us from childhood into adulthood to this day if I can't have it nobody's going to have it that just makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. And the narcissist are so full of these great little sayings that just make you want to vomit.
@cynthia-I'm so sorry that hurt you....I know from experience that triggers can be a terrible thing....And the envious can be an awful thing to behold. Wishing you bright blessings & peace.
@@venusrising6554 it's like amnesia, then you get a realization moment, and it's a triggering from repressed memory. Bless you for the kindness of regards to my feelings on the topic.
The great trauma counselor, Diane Langberg, says that while we're all sinners, we don't all build Auschwitzes. That is such an insightful way to put it.
Listen to your intuition!!! I have a neighbor that has stolen thousands from my house. They can be VERY STEALTH!!! Too long a story to go into. Just know their wheels are turning, it may be a matter of time before they strike and they will cover their tracks. Mine has been and continus to study me and my movements to a CHILLING degree. There are plenty of VERY BAD people in this society. Sorry you have one like me. Just trust in what you are feeling. It isn't a fluke. Stay safe and ALERT.
I graduated college with honors, at age 58! On the Thursday evening graduation, the narc mother tried her best to ruin it all. Wasn't showered or ready at the time I asked her to be. Sat in the kitchen in her bathrobe pouting. She showed NO happiness for me whatsoever. Wouldn't speak to me on the 40 minute drive to the college, but acted like the life of the party around my student friends. Afterwards, she tossed a card from the doorway onto the guest bed (where I was staying at her home since I live out of state.) It was despicable behavior. It took a couple more years before I learned about her condition called "narcissism." I never knew her lifelong meanness towards me was an actual THING with a name! Thank God, I'm at peace with NOOOO Contact now for 5.5 years! Glad I found you Dr. Carter! Gratitude & Blessings.
First, congrats on getting your degree at 58! When I was in my 20's and in graduate school, I had a classmate named Betty who was 60. She was an absolute delight. As to your mom, that is a moment when her character was revealed in full color. So sad that she couldn't be happy at a time like that. Glad you've found peace. Dr. C
Dear Dr. Carter, Thank you for your congratulatory message! I learned SO much being an older adult in college & I loved the experience! I hope maybe some of the 20year old students will remember me the same way you recall Betty! Thanks for your work. Blessings!
I have had much and I have had little. I was always more creatively efficient with less, but able to give financially, also, with more. Humans are adaptable. But it’s rare that a taker becomes a giver. Lol
Anyone in your life Dr. Carter, is SO BLESSED to have you- including us. Your videos are comforting, full of wisdom, and a calmness that this world needs. I appreciate you! By the way, GREEN looks splendid on you. 💚
OMG! Thank you Dr. Carter, I cannot believe what you said! And that is something like, “once they feel like they are on top of the heap, (the right home & toys, money, the right car, The parties, the husband, the kids, the vacations), they don’t want you to have anything to do with what is their’s!” Wow, many years of mystery explained so perfectly! So so true, like not getting invited, not being included, being ignored, being lied to, sneaking around, unbelievable rudeness, and more, all because they believe they were are top of the heap and they don’t want to share it.”
When people I know have successes I want, I get mad at myself. Thats not good, but at least I wouldnt be angry about someones accomplishments. I also pay the admired person a complement and ask advice. Its a rewarding exchange!
The only people I envy are tall women, and anyone who can play a musical instrument really well. I try to keep my envy within reasonable bounds, though. I feel sorry for people who are consumed with envy. Like Salieri in the movie „Amadeus.“ He was so envious of Mozart‘s genius, that he brought about his death, but ultimately ended up destroying himself, as well. ( In reality, Salieri didn’t actually kill Mozart. He ( Salieri) died in an insane asylum, suffering from the delusion that he did murder Mozart. That movie was fictionalized, but very well done. I would recommend it to anyone.) 🎼
One of my high school counselors used to say, „Don’t make people pity you, make them envy you.“ I don’t agree with that at all. Being envied makes me a little uncomfortable. Envious people often try to destroy the people they envy. 😮
I made a delish Apple cake for the next morning's breakfast, thinking i was doing something sweet. My partner ate a piece,i caught him talking to himself how great It was, he did'nt know that i was right behind him. Then when he saw me he immediately changed his facial expression.Doesn't want to let me know It was delicious. He did'nt eat It anymore... I ate It alone for the next 3 days. He immediately said he's going to Cook his potato cake& he did. guess the out come? It was all dry,he did'nt even tell me he threw It away,i discovered so because i found It in the dustbin the following day.
Great topic. The word MORE stands out for me. They always want more. More power more control more of your soul. They hate when you don't fall for their tricks anymore.
I never understood my envious sister. She displayed such cruel lack of empathy and being an empath myself, I couldn’t wrap my head around her glee when I had permanent eye and facial damage and again later when I went into seizures in the ER where she stood over me and mocked my face. She had always hung her head in shame around me for many different reasons. My reaction was to feel guilty, like just by being me I was doing something wrong. I now see how comparative and competitive she has been and it’s just not in her nature, being a narcissist, to try to connect with other people on a deeper level. She must be pretty miserable inside and covers it with money and possessions. I think I’m better off being a truly caring and empathetic person. I never thought I’d be saying that. 😄
That's really unfortunate and no one deserves that kind of treatment. You're certainly much better off...that's her problem with you now. Possessions cannot fill God sized voids!
Great people use that envy as fuel, it's not even a hate of the other person, more like an energetic encouragement, that we can have it too. Seeing someone better should be an inspiration to push us ahead. Instead of trying to tear others down, great people build themselves up. They come from a place of "If they can have it, so can I, but I have to work hard!"
Ringing LOTS of bells. Because I have slightly more material advantages -- WHICH I ALWAYS TRY TO SHARE -- I'm someone, according to my brother, who has no problems. And how dare I ask to be perceived as a person with problems and needs. HE has problems and needs, and he's allowed to talk about them, but if I do anything other than constantly praise and shower him with encouragement (WHICH I DO!), then I'm the worst. He has said, verbatim, "I don't feel sorry for you," after describing a trauma. Yes, it wasn't long after that that our relationship effectively ended. I'm still sad about it. But there's no other way. No matter how much praise and encouragement I gave him, it was never enough. (And yes it's weird for a brother to turn to a sister of this.)
Thanks so much for simplifying this issue; as well as narcissism. You have described my Immediate family dynamics, in a nutshell. This destructive trait hampers the development of wholesome relationships; and seems to follow the envied & envious to their graves. I’ve spent most of my life subjected to either incestuous sexual abuse, envy, narcissism or domestic violence / trauma . But, with yours and the help of sought after others . . . I am finally on the mend. At 62, I’m done. I’ve had to distance myself from all. Hoping to find and sustain some joy during my remaining days.
Hebrews 13:5-6 (KJV) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. 🙏♥️ God Bless you and thank you again for the messages that you share (in the loving kindness of protecting people from unforeseen circumstances whereby they become victims of ruthless people who engage in evil tactics without remorse).
Sometimes I wonder if I empathize enough because years ago I was told "You don't seem to care about your customers when you interact with them." When a friend shares something positive in their life, I'm genuinely happy for them. The narc in my life rarely shows empathy, and if they do I wonder if it's genuine. They are envious though; they always want what someone else has but they aren't willing to work for it. I can't imagine what it's like being that way.
Thank you for linking these two. I have a friend who is extremely jealous of my ministry & knowledge of the Bible. She cuts me down & tries to manipulate & bully me. She regularly tries cheating me financially & stealing money from me. If I buy something, she wants to deprive me of it & take it (& my money). She's a millionaire & I am on Social Security. She also LIES a lot.
I have never felt that I deserved what someone else had or maybe they didn't deserve it but I have felt envious in that I wished I my life was more like theirs. I think my feelings are more like envy with admiration. I sure don't want to take their stuff. In fact someone like that sounds scary! I struggle with feeling like I wasted my youth.
I almost think the enablers were worse than the covert in this regard. He was more or less indifferent about my having any successes (at least on the surface, or to my face). But, he was all for having someone else do his behind the scenes bidding, or pulling strings that couldn't be traced back to him, leaving him to maintain plausible deniability in the public sphere.
How is this about enabling? Sounds like narcissistic abuse to me...indifference is very demeaning. We all need and deserve acknowledgment and love. I do not understand how you seem to blame "enablers."
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I meant that the enablers more overtly manifested envy. I felt it from them more. (Or maybe I should say I felt their empathy less.) I'm still learning, so maybe I used the wrong terminology - I was in what I understand to be a collective narcissism scenario. Maybe they weren't enablers but narcissists in their own right. I'm not an expert.
@@notgivingthisout6977 that seems to match Dr. C and I find it sad we have to judge others in order to learn. Where are you on jealousy or envy? I know I envy and yes I have been supply. Enabling was very unconscious I feel. I adored a fraud.
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I also highly esteemed a fraud, and certainly I was supply and enabled (though had no idea that's what I was doing at the time). I envied the connection that the collective appeared to have (because I was the scapegoat/nonconforming/"other"), but not material aspects or the successes they had. I actually had hoped for a collaborative environment, and wished them well. They did not reciprocate that whatsoever.
In that environment, it felt like my lack of competitiveness was part of why I was "othered" - though I'm not sure that's precisely it, or that it conveys what I mean entirely.
My narcissist sister let her envious nature overule her common sense. She preyed on our elderly aunt and got our aunt to assign Laura the powers of attorney. She finally got our aunt to assign everything to her, except her house and car. Laura got all the insurance, bank accounts, and stocks assigned over to her. When my aunt died, her estate was worth some $600,000+. My aunt had no heirs. Probate Court left 25% to her brother, and a certain amount to 17 relatives, but Laura got to assign what that amount was. It wasn't much. A civil court decided that she committed a criminal act. However, we did not have the money to prosecute her. So she got away with stealing my aunt's estate, and preying on an elderly woman!
It’s as if your telling my family’s story. My uncle’s daughter did the exact same thing to hiM. She drained his bank account, upgraded his vehicle and changed the name on the title. She took trips. She went on shopping sprees at Saks, Nordstrom, Gucci, etc. she left a trail of destruction.
@@LoverofLife863 Ciao Mr. Muah! This is a mean thing to say, but I take comfort that I'm not alone! The last 2 decades have been very hard on me. My sisters were appointed personal representatives of my Father's estate. It was supposed to be distributed equally between the three of us sisters. When it came to paying themselves the share of money for their work, I believe that they took thousands of dollars from my share. When it came to my Father's death, my sisters told my Father that he would have to go into assisted living. Rather than face up to that, he killed himself with a shotgun. He placed the gun on the floor, pointed it to his throat, and pulled the trigger with his toe. It was a very bloody, tragic end for a very good, hard-working man to go through. Tragically, I was the only one crying at his funeral.
This explains so much to me on several levels. Growing up, I had a family member who would ask what I wanted for Christmas. And every Christmas, almost without fail, this person would get for herself what I had requested. I could never voice how or why it bothered me so and was shamed and accused of being selfish. Now, I understand the motive behind the person asking. Such freedom in knowing that now. Thank you.
Candy Bradford I had an older sister like that but I caught on early what she was doing so I started telling her I didn't need anything. She is still jealous and suffocating at 75.
Oh my goodness this is exactly what I've been dealing with and just broke a frienship over. I love how you said they don't like the word enough. That's how I felt around this person - like I was never enough.
The behaviors of hyper-competitiveness, one-upmanship and low empathy discussed in this video describes the leadership style of a "trio of toxicity" I once knew (Nicole, Phil, Meghan).
Im not a Muslim, but I know a little about Islam. According to the Qur‘an, Heaven will have seven levels, each one more fantastic than the next. People will be able to visit back and forth between the levels, but no one will be envious of anyone else. There will be no back-biting, no gossip, no one-upmanship, and everyone will be content with what they have. 😊
wow. i truly and deeply love my sister; thanks to this video, i sure understand her a lot better now. i hope she eventually comes to realize how great she is in her own right rather than living in the perpetual comparison, criticism, and insecurity of envy.
I like meeting people with so much esteemed character and personality that they have no concern to give it away freely. It's because I trust they accept my empathy conversely. 🙏😉
Yes it's like he's actually saying what they're thinking. Before I couldn't understand what they were thinking. Or I couldn't put it into words. Intense very intense.
Ugh, I have stories...one in particular, where someone was basically delusional about succeeding with something they weren't actually qualified for (in hindsight - they are a very persuasive person and had me convinced at the time that they were a shoe-in, I am out of that fish-bowl now and can see things clearly). I shared in their excitement, I was in that weird delusion with them, happy FOR them, I said "If you win, maybe you could hire me as your nanny" (or something, I cant recall exactly what) and I swear to god, this person (a narc, obviously) turned around and rewarded me for my support & enthusiasm by telling me "don't think you're going to ride my coat-tails"! One of many times this person said something so insensitive and cruel for no reason & really inappropriate considering the circumstances. Of course they didn't even make the "semi-finals" as it were...no I did not rub it in, which is something they probably would have done had the shoe been on the other foot...I DO have empathy...I encouraged them to try another time, with something else, to not give up. Now, I believe that same person has sabotaged my life, my relationships, due to another delusional belief, in essence, they have rationalized beating me down because they believe I am responsible for a life failure of theirs that was 100% their own doing and undoing. They triangulated me, in hindsight they have been triangulating me and everyone else for a very long time.
She McGee, I know exactly what you are saying here and I have experienced some of that also...the insidious part is the triangulation behind the scenes and here we are fully trusting someone who is destroying us behind our backs.... repaying us for our good and love with evil and hate. It is pure evil.
@@lovearttherapyalways demonic! I don't think a person can have a soul and do this to another human being, much less a family member. So, at least I know, when they die and I die, we will not be going to the same place and will never meet again, in any lifetime or on any dimension.
@@sheilajac I agree completely! It is heartbreaking to see these harsh truths head on but I am at a place in my life whereby enough is enough! When someone shows us their true colors, believe them! God bless you!
dear dr carter, you have sustained me over a v difficult period recently. thank you so much. a dear friend died unexpectedly whom i had come to really love, and the family are being quite horrid. i am trying to keep my dignity, say nothing, avoid them. they bullied and exploited her, took her for granted. all they asked was, is there a will, where is it. not how did it happen, how was she lately. those who cared for her, in fact kept her alive, are ignored and worse, treated as interlopers.
Your list beginning at 8:00, including “enough” and “satisfied” gave me understanding to why I had to detach from the N. family member who cannot listen without comparing.
This is why the super rich cannot stop and enjoy what they have... they compete for supersize yachts and spaceship rides ... I wonder if they have any joy at all... but unfortunately they get to make decisions for huge numbers of people ... and they do it without empathy for those people.
Yes. I have now learned to put the envious in my life behind a barrier. Linking envy to low empathy, and to taunting, answers my key questions about their behaviour. It explains a *lot*. Actually, I feel sufficiently safe from them these days to feel very sorry for them, they really miss out on the one thing worth having, the joy of true connection. Thank you!!
I’ve either admired or been happy for those that have more than me and tried to find out how they achieved those things and could never understand envy but now I get it.
This topic is just what I was thinking today! I have a colleague at work who is nice and fun most times but also the most envious person anyone has met. This video taught me to beware the lack of empathy which shows itself in her now and then...
Thanks for another informative video. I am astonished at how many envious people are out there. I have had several friendships or rather what I thought were sincere friends turn on me out of envy. The sad part is those same people had way more than me financially and yet were harbouring all this envy at little things. I found myself having to walk away over and over again from such people. There is a saying that says.... an envious friend is a dangerous enemy. All of this saddens me. I wish it were easier to find good and sincere friends. God bless you and sweet Gus!
An envious person becomes depressed when they see you succeed and wants nothing more than for you to fail. I believe, no I'm positive that envy is the root of all evilness. Thank you Dr. C, it perfectly completes the video about jealousy and now I've learned the difference between both.
Right out of the gate, Dr. Carter- i so appreciate how you explained the difference between jealousy and envy. In regards to narcissism, your explanation made so much sense I’m (edited *in) understanding why a narcissist does what they do. Thanks for all you do for team healthy! You and your videos are my “bonus.”
I have had to deal with envy and jealousy my whole life. I have finally come to terms with knowing I would rather be alone than engage with these miserable individuals. No! It is not true that misery loves company. Misery fits right in with miserly. They are miserable and cheap misers. Stingy with there belongings, their empathy and compassion. I have come to despise these envious evil-doers.
😲wow thank you Dr C for sharing your knowledge on this now I have a better understanding of these people, the places these narcissists take you to is unbelievable and often hard to fathom,very stuck and troubled soul's,but they won't do the inner work to grow.
The narcissist have the beautiful home with the swimming pool the beautiful maintenance lawn the nice automobiles and the capability to travel and enjoy life but they choose instead to go around the neighborhood or family and people they consider friends or acquaintance and make their life a living hell and be so dependent on them to be the narcs entertainment director and to be at their beckoning call at any time of the day and any hour of the night. I can't understand with all of the beauty God is blessed them with that they can't even enjoy that and stay in their own lane but they can go through the neighborhood or through family friends or acquaintances and be the worst nightmare you can even imagine. SMH.
Dr.C, I am so thankful GOD did not let me fall into the black pit of narcissistic ways. I choose my peace and bliss over their material greed and empty life.
Years ago I visited a new home my College roommate had purchased and helped design, I really wondered how I would feel..I was so relieved that I had such a positive attitude and was so excited for her…and so much of that came from HER attitude also
Never felt jealous of anyone that I know of. It is sickening though when others are jealous and envious of you especially when their bank accounts are well over a million or two or three. Just happy our car runs. 😊
I was once in my life more humble and I was dealing with my narcissist husband and actually just in my survival mode. After we divorced then I started having some envy towards my friend. She had her parents help her with all of her difficult financial situations. I was struggling to raise my children on a very low income and I didn't have any help. So I started feeling sorry for myself,at the time I didn't realize that I was feeling sorry for myself but rather I was just in a difficult place. So after some years I told my friend that I was jealous of her and that when she fell into a pile of crap then she came out smelling like a rose but when I fell into a pile of crap then I smelled like crap. She said well I didn't realize that you felt this way and I can see where you can feel this way. I told her I needed to work on myself and I didn't like who I was becoming. She said we all have our insecurities and I envy you in ways because you have came through your crap better than I have. So we have to acknowledge each other and talk about what is eating at us and not let that cancer spread out and take us over. Yes life is difficult and trying and crazy at times,most times that is. We have to search ourselves thoroughly and decide what we have to change because we'll never be better and move forward if we don't always stop and consider what or why do we feel and think as we do.
Great information! It is very difficult interacting with a person when the past is not resolved, who's perceived slights are still swirling around, instead of being present! It presents its self in so many ways!
Fantastic!! Whenever I've learned any of these aspects from experience I've paid with a bump on my head. Dr. Carter Your wealth of knowledge is not just fulfilling but I imagine it also has come at price. Thank you for sharing. Know you are making a difference. Because of your work ill have less bruises. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for this DR Les, Truth and clarity, When they're envious they do things to try make you envious of them, Life is a competition, Peace, love, Respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe 🌷🐶🌚💜🐱🌈🌌💛❤😃🌝💚👽🌹😘😊🎨🖼👁💙🕊☘🐉
Not all personalities deserve empathy. The Bible says that greed is the root of all evil. If you are envious, you are greedy and not satisfied or grateful for what you have.
I can't imagine any human being that doesn't have some sort of envy but could it be balanced out with empathy trying to walk in another shoes and see their perspective I think most humans fall short of being the good true and beautiful person they were born to be
Not all sarcasm is bad, just the kind that cuts one person down to inflate another. Some sarcasm is fun between those who can get the implied joke.... no belittling allowed.
Thank you, Dr. Carter! You’ve helped me significantly. Your channel is amazing, and I can’t wait for others to experience the joys and positive changes that come with discovering your work. 💖
And Dr. Les- yes your videos have given insight in to myself and others. I need to work on how to respond when in these dynamics, particularly with family whom carry some narcissistic tendencies. Of the passive/ covert style. Has taken me decades to get insight and understanding in to the dysfunctional ways of some folks in my life, busy doing life... your insights have given me fresh perspectives and I thank you. From the west coast of the USA.
Thank you, Dr Carter, for raising the difficult and, in my experience, rarely discussed subject of envy. Once again, you've shed very helpful light on my path and helped me realize I am not alone as I seek to let the lies of envy roll off me like the proverbial water off the duck's back. I'm not sure why this is so challenging for me, but it is, and I really appreciate your help.
Beware of too much black and white thinking, and thinking in terms of "we and them", though. There are, of course people who act and talk in such destructive ways that it is totally necessary to make sound boundaries or even get away and and go no contact - yet most people have both good and bad in them, and all this almost revelling in "how bad they are" (and how we are so different and better), might not be very sound in the long run. It might be a time for it, but it also might be a time for just focusing on other things in life. Well, maybe I am just preaching for myself. Have good life! :-)
That being said, understanding "cluster B"-disorders is important, IMO. Especially if it could lead to a way of preventing people with too many of those traits to be leaders in society. So thanks for the good work of giving information!
Ooh the title is interesting Because when I was younger I was jealous of everybody but I kept it inside. That’s when I was a kid. It took me a long time to grow into my own skin. And jealous is the wrong word. I envied everything outside of myself. I wanted what other girls had.
“I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:12-13
I don’t know if I agree 100%. I am able to feel both envy and empathy. I don’t feel a need to resent those whom I envy because I can understand that the envy is my problem to deal with.
I've noticed that because everyone has a bit different of a value system it is kind of a crap shoot on whom is going to be envious of me after walking into a new classroom or any other meeting place starting to participate in a meet up. Only one thing for sure is that whenever I am out of touch concerning something like the Star Trek series if I were to try and fit in along with others on an outing to one of those Trekkies conventions I would be wise to stay quieter than usual given my advanced age since I know nothing about comic books while only liking to draw. My 7 year old grandson disagreed with me 3 days ago after I admitted to him that I am old and it sure made my day.
How is this different from economic inequality that's so extreme it actually hurts the economy? According to my friend who worked on Wall Street for 8 years and survived the World Trade Center bombing of 2001, "If you hoard money and never use it, the economy isn't going to move anyway and given enough time will create an extremes wealth inequality that will blow up in the greed monsters faces." He said he's not jealous. Every person in his company was killed that day, including his 2 good friends and her unborn baby - "and still people choose not to learn that extreme anything (esp greed) kills people." He was burned over 60% of his body and still has little memory of why he lived. He doesn't want anything they have, because he thinks what they have is nothing. He doesn't care if they're the wealthiest person on earth. "If you can constantly look at pictures of sick & starving children and still whine all the time about your own problems you got nothing I want."
The concept that always evaded my US CHAIR FORCE egomaniacal vampire was One Boat, One Screw, One Crew. Had he been in the NAVY he would have gotten the Fan Room attitude adjustment.
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Envy and jealousy work together and are mean spirits; walk away because you can't change the minds of those who inhabit these traits no matter how kind you are; I've learned this absolute truth during 70+ years of living
"Envy is rottenness to the bones" - Proverbs 14:30
They hating on me bc a young successful beautiful woman loves me, they think she is promiscuous.
Openly envious people always act as if you stole something from them 😅
Yep.
I never thought of that, but it’s true.
How do you know?@@foxiefair123
Narcissists are egomaniacs consumed by envy and Jealousy.
They haaaaate it when someone compliments you in their presence. Hell, they even get upset if someone speaks well of your dog!!
This happened to me the other day while also neutralizing the threat of one mentally ill narc I encounter at a store, someone ahead of me in line was extremely polite to me & conversational & they had a physical fit that this man was so nice & wanted my approval but had to force themselves to calm down, their next method was going outside & chain smoking to calm themselves down (& hoping I inhale it when I get outside) . I can finally go back to this store & they have great surveillance there but this person wants to physically harm me & I think it is possible they mutilate my property sometimes
They almost killed me in their car when I had no idea how drunk they were I walked home
They spread lies & rumors about me but they might stop this as well
I never realized they were battling mental illness & when I first got to know them they acted like the nicest person & friend
But they dont care about anyone they cant
"Comparison is the death of joy." ~ Mark Twain
Awesome... It might be ok for them, may or not be ok for us, who knows, better not to go there and only adds to our understanding of something!
Their joy cannot die, because they are not able to rejoice over anything. And they are envious that you can. The only abnormal kind of "joy" they ever feel is when someone they envy suffers or fails in life a.k.a Schadenfreude.
It depends. If it's an objective comparison, it can be a viable tool. However, if it's used to feed one's ego, it becomes very unhealthy.
In the simplest terms "Your joy is their misery & your misery is their joy."
They will kick you while you're down and shit all over your accomplishments/worth.
I've met a few people that have the instant reaction to laugh at someone struggling. And if someone is joyful and laughing, they will make a dig or simply look annoyed or bothered.
🚩🚩🚩 Staying far away from those people improved my mental health and happiness 💯 percent.
Very true, the quicker that's understood the easier it becomes. The more we squirm the better they like it, sick people
You summed them up very well. How awful to live that way.
When you are around envious individuals they will ultimately take away from your life. Healthy people will add to your life and to the world.
Amen to that!!!
That's true👍🙋♀️🐨
I agree .
So true. My envious sister gave me money occasionally but she took so much from me mentally and emotionally that I ended up with less. She, like the rest of the family, fully dehumanized me....at least for awhile. No contact now and feeling human again.
Yesssss! I hear that! (And 100% agree with it too!) 😃🙏
Wow. "Not all personalities deserve your empathy." This is a critical 180 that all survivors have to make to heal. Powerful and insightful. Thank you.
Yes, we deserve to maintain our viability as individuals.
Empathy generally in all situations is constrained as it might be on a budget.
It helps us to generate or moderate it on an even flow that's healthy for us, a condition of maintaining adequate portions of esteem.
Especially when their pathology is a CHOICE to maintain and hold onto like the narcissist does.
I'd sum it up as people who are just empty shells without a spark of life within. Amassing material possessions is their way of feeling alive, alas, it's fleeting at best, and once they have what they have been craving, it immediately becomes uninteresting. Enter a vicious cycle.
You can actually see the envy/resentment as they (narcissists) clench their jaws in response to any success/possessions that upset their fragile self esteem. Usually accompanied by cold, joyless eyes.
So true
"He is rich who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature." ~ Socrates
Less is more!
I love this saying by Socrates! Thank you so much for posting it.
The green shirt is spot on, given the subject matter! 😂
I was wondering if anyone would notice. Also on my other channel I did a video on the gray rock method and wore a gray shirt. Trying to stay on point with the message! Dr. C
@@DrLesCarter Thanks for all you do, Dr C! I had problems with being envious as a child, but was lucky to grow out of it. My mom helped a lot with it. My dad was green. Lol!
Pea Green with Envy" Gone with the Wind quote.
Schadenfreude... we don't have this word in the English language but it means taking delight in another's misfortune.
I'm familiar with the word, and yes, it describes this person! Dr. C
WOW!
we do have it in english, it's 'Schadenfreude', english just takes what it wants and leaves the rest
It's German and it perfectly describes the ultimative goal of an envious person. They celebrate when you fail. And when you really suffer, it's like all their dreams come true.
This is core to sadism. When other people’s pain gives you pleasure.
Envy can be dangerous. When severe it becomes all consuming & inconsolable. To stop their intolerable pain, they will destroy everything & everyone driving their envy. ie. "If I can't have it, no one can."
That is exactly what the dark demon told us from childhood into adulthood to this day if I can't have it nobody's going to have it that just makes me sick to the pit of my stomach. And the narcissist are so full of these great little sayings that just make you want to vomit.
VR .....OMG! That was a big trigger point for me when I read that O'Vay!!!!
@cynthia-I'm so sorry that hurt you....I know from experience that triggers can be a terrible thing....And the envious can be an awful thing to behold. Wishing you bright blessings & peace.
@@venusrising6554 it's like amnesia, then you get a realization moment, and it's a triggering from repressed memory. Bless you for the kindness of regards to my feelings on the topic.
The great trauma counselor, Diane Langberg, says that while we're all sinners, we don't all build Auschwitzes. That is such an insightful way to put it.
Yes and the narcissist will try and put their Auschwitz on the same level as my sandcastle!
That’s a really good way of putting things.
My neighbors are envious people with zero empathy, they actually scare me.
Listen to your intuition!!! I have a neighbor that has stolen thousands from my house. They can be VERY STEALTH!!! Too long a story to go into. Just know their wheels are turning, it may be a matter of time before they strike and they will cover their tracks. Mine has been and continus to study me and my movements to a CHILLING degree.
There are plenty of VERY BAD people in this society. Sorry you have one like me. Just trust in what you are feeling. It isn't a fluke.
Stay safe and ALERT.
Please don't let tham.
@@carolhampshire7820 thank you so much, I try to ignore them as much as possible.
Your very welcome Ella take care.
Me too.
I graduated college with honors, at age 58! On the Thursday evening graduation, the narc mother tried her best to ruin it all. Wasn't showered or ready at the time I asked her to be. Sat in the kitchen in her bathrobe pouting. She showed NO happiness for me whatsoever. Wouldn't speak to me on the 40 minute drive to the college, but acted like the life of the party around my student friends. Afterwards, she tossed a card from the doorway onto the guest bed (where I was staying at her home since I live out of state.) It was despicable behavior. It took a couple more years before I learned about her condition called "narcissism." I never knew her lifelong meanness towards me was an actual THING with a name! Thank God, I'm at peace with NOOOO Contact now for 5.5 years! Glad I found you Dr. Carter! Gratitude & Blessings.
First, congrats on getting your degree at 58! When I was in my 20's and in graduate school, I had a classmate named Betty who was 60. She was an absolute delight. As to your mom, that is a moment when her character was revealed in full color. So sad that she couldn't be happy at a time like that. Glad you've found peace. Dr. C
Dear Dr. Carter, Thank you for your congratulatory message! I learned SO much being an older adult in college & I loved the experience! I hope maybe some of the 20year old students will remember me the same way you recall Betty! Thanks for your work. Blessings!
My narc brother did the same shit at my graduation to ruin my great day.
Just because someone has more, doesn't mean they are more.
I have had much and I have had little. I was always more creatively efficient with less, but able to give financially, also, with more. Humans are adaptable. But it’s rare that a taker becomes a giver. Lol
@@christinalw19 well said!
You believe they have more; therefore, you are already placing yourself at a disadvantage.
This is a weird reaction to a video about envy.
Only an envious person would need to think like this.
Anyone in your life Dr. Carter, is SO BLESSED to have you- including us. Your videos are comforting, full of wisdom, and a calmness that this world needs. I appreciate you! By the way, GREEN looks splendid on you. 💚
OMG! Thank you Dr. Carter, I cannot believe what you said! And that is something like, “once they feel like they are on top of the heap, (the right home & toys, money, the right car, The parties, the husband, the kids, the vacations), they don’t want you to have anything to do with what is their’s!” Wow, many years of mystery explained so perfectly! So so true, like not getting invited, not being included, being ignored, being lied to, sneaking around, unbelievable rudeness, and more, all because they believe they were are top of the heap and they don’t want to share it.”
I know a few people with envy and jealousy. They become small and irrelevant. I try my best to not be envious.
What's to be envious of? What if, to have what they have came with some unknown and undesirable consequence?
When people I know have successes I want, I get mad at myself. Thats not good, but at least I wouldnt be angry about someones accomplishments. I also pay the admired person a complement and ask advice. Its a rewarding exchange!
The only people I envy are tall women, and anyone who can play a musical instrument really well. I try to keep my envy within reasonable bounds, though. I feel sorry for people who are consumed with envy. Like Salieri in the movie „Amadeus.“ He was so envious of Mozart‘s genius, that he brought about his death, but ultimately ended up destroying himself, as well. ( In reality, Salieri didn’t actually kill Mozart. He ( Salieri) died in an insane asylum, suffering from the delusion that he did murder Mozart. That movie was fictionalized, but very well done. I would recommend it to anyone.) 🎼
Being the object of envy of strangers, family, and so called friends leaves deep wounds.
One of my high school counselors used to say, „Don’t make people pity you, make them envy you.“ I don’t agree with that at all. Being envied makes me a little uncomfortable. Envious people often try to destroy the people they envy. 😮
"Resentful yearning". This expression says so much more (at least to me) than "to begrudge".
I made a delish Apple cake for the next morning's breakfast, thinking i was doing something sweet.
My partner ate a piece,i caught him talking to himself how great It was, he did'nt know that i was right behind him.
Then when he saw me he immediately changed his facial expression.Doesn't want to let me know It was delicious.
He did'nt eat It anymore...
I ate It alone for the next 3 days.
He immediately said he's going to Cook his potato cake& he did.
guess the out come? It was all dry,he did'nt even tell me he threw It away,i discovered so because i found It in the dustbin the following day.
Dr. Carter, you are my blessed treasure. 🙌
Wrath is cruel and anger is outrageous, but who is able to stand before envy? Proverbs 27:4
Love that you’re wearing green when you talk about envy!! 😂👍
It was planned. Dr. C
And a beautiful shade of green, too. 🟢🟩
I wonder where the phrase „green with envy“ originated?
Great topic. The word MORE stands out for me. They always want more. More power more control more of your soul. They hate when you don't fall for their tricks anymore.
I never understood my envious sister. She displayed such cruel lack of empathy and being an empath myself, I couldn’t wrap my head around her glee when I had permanent eye and facial damage and again later when I went into seizures in the ER where she stood over me and mocked my face. She had always hung her head in shame around me for many different reasons. My reaction was to feel guilty, like just by being me I was doing something wrong. I now see how comparative and competitive she has been and it’s just not in her nature, being a narcissist, to try to connect with other people on a deeper level. She must be pretty miserable inside and covers it with money and possessions. I think I’m better off being a truly caring and empathetic person. I never thought I’d be saying that. 😄
That's really unfortunate and no one deserves that kind of treatment. You're certainly much better off...that's her problem with you now. Possessions cannot fill God sized voids!
When a poverty of spirit exists envy will rear its ugly head.
You got them nailed. I have many times thought I was crazy. Hell is too good for these people.
Me too. Now I know it was them. Hell is too good for them.😂
Great people use that envy as fuel, it's not even a hate of the other person, more like an energetic encouragement, that we can have it too. Seeing someone better should be an inspiration to push us ahead. Instead of trying to tear others down, great people build themselves up. They come from a place of "If they can have it, so can I, but I have to work hard!"
Ringing LOTS of bells. Because I have slightly more material advantages -- WHICH I ALWAYS TRY TO SHARE -- I'm someone, according to my brother, who has no problems. And how dare I ask to be perceived as a person with problems and needs. HE has problems and needs, and he's allowed to talk about them, but if I do anything other than constantly praise and shower him with encouragement (WHICH I DO!), then I'm the worst. He has said, verbatim, "I don't feel sorry for you," after describing a trauma. Yes, it wasn't long after that that our relationship effectively ended. I'm still sad about it. But there's no other way. No matter how much praise and encouragement I gave him, it was never enough. (And yes it's weird for a brother to turn to a sister of this.)
Thanks so much for simplifying this issue; as well as narcissism. You have described my Immediate family dynamics, in a nutshell. This destructive trait hampers the development of wholesome relationships; and seems to follow the envied & envious to their graves.
I’ve spent most of my life subjected to either incestuous sexual abuse, envy, narcissism or domestic violence / trauma . But, with yours and the help of sought after others . . . I am finally on the mend.
At 62, I’m done. I’ve had to distance myself from all. Hoping to find and sustain some joy during my remaining days.
Hebrews 13:5-6 (KJV) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me.
🙏♥️ God Bless you and thank you again for the messages that you share (in the loving kindness of protecting people from unforeseen circumstances whereby they become victims of ruthless people who engage in evil tactics without remorse).
Covetnous. "Thou shall not covet." God.
Goodness gracious- talking about our current politicians again. Thank you again!
Sometimes I wonder if I empathize enough because years ago I was told "You don't seem to care about your customers when you interact with them." When a friend shares something positive in their life, I'm genuinely happy for them.
The narc in my life rarely shows empathy, and if they do I wonder if it's genuine. They are envious though; they always want what someone else has but they aren't willing to work for it. I can't imagine what it's like being that way.
Thank you for linking these two. I have a friend who is extremely jealous of my ministry & knowledge of the Bible. She cuts me down & tries to manipulate & bully me. She regularly tries cheating me financially & stealing money from me. If I buy something, she wants to deprive me of it & take it (& my money). She's a millionaire & I am on Social Security. She also LIES a lot.
She is not your friend, sister. The Word of God says a friend loves at all times. Praying for the Lord to bless you with true covenant friendships. 🙏🏽
I have never felt that I deserved what someone else had or maybe they didn't deserve it but I have felt envious in that I wished I my life was more like theirs. I think my feelings are more like envy with admiration. I sure don't want to take their stuff. In fact someone like that sounds scary! I struggle with feeling like I wasted my youth.
I almost think the enablers were worse than the covert in this regard. He was more or less indifferent about my having any successes (at least on the surface, or to my face). But, he was all for having someone else do his behind the scenes bidding, or pulling strings that couldn't be traced back to him, leaving him to maintain plausible deniability in the public sphere.
How is this about enabling? Sounds like narcissistic abuse to me...indifference is very demeaning. We all need and deserve acknowledgment and love. I do not understand how you seem to blame "enablers."
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I meant that the enablers more overtly manifested envy. I felt it from them more. (Or maybe I should say I felt their empathy less.) I'm still learning, so maybe I used the wrong terminology - I was in what I understand to be a collective narcissism scenario. Maybe they weren't enablers but narcissists in their own right. I'm not an expert.
@@notgivingthisout6977 that seems to match Dr. C and I find it sad we have to judge others in order to learn. Where are you on jealousy or envy? I know I envy and yes I have been supply. Enabling was very unconscious I feel. I adored a fraud.
@@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively I also highly esteemed a fraud, and certainly I was supply and enabled (though had no idea that's what I was doing at the time). I envied the connection that the collective appeared to have (because I was the scapegoat/nonconforming/"other"), but not material aspects or the successes they had. I actually had hoped for a collaborative environment, and wished them well. They did not reciprocate that whatsoever.
In that environment, it felt like my lack of competitiveness was part of why I was "othered" - though I'm not sure that's precisely it, or that it conveys what I mean entirely.
My narcissist sister let her envious nature overule her common sense. She preyed on our elderly aunt and got our aunt to assign Laura the powers of attorney. She finally got our aunt to assign everything to her, except her house and car. Laura got all the insurance, bank accounts, and stocks assigned over to her. When my aunt died, her estate was worth some $600,000+. My aunt had no heirs. Probate Court left 25% to her brother, and a certain amount to 17 relatives, but Laura got to assign what that amount was. It wasn't much. A civil
court decided that she committed a criminal act. However, we did not have the money to prosecute her. So she got away with stealing my aunt's estate, and preying on an elderly woman!
It’s as if your telling my family’s story. My uncle’s daughter did the exact same thing to hiM. She drained his bank account, upgraded his vehicle and changed the name on the title. She took trips. She went on shopping sprees at Saks, Nordstrom, Gucci, etc. she left a trail of destruction.
@@LoverofLife863 Ciao Mr. Muah! This is a mean thing to say, but I take comfort that I'm not alone! The last 2 decades have been very hard on me. My sisters were appointed personal representatives of my Father's estate. It was supposed to be distributed equally between the three of us sisters. When it came to paying themselves the share of money for their work, I believe that they took thousands of dollars from my share. When it came to my Father's death, my sisters told my Father that he would have to go into assisted living. Rather than face up to that, he killed himself with a shotgun. He placed the gun on the floor, pointed it to his throat, and pulled the trigger with his toe. It was a very bloody, tragic end for a very good, hard-working man to go through. Tragically, I was the only one crying at his funeral.
This explains so much to me on several levels. Growing up, I had a family member who would ask what I wanted for Christmas. And every Christmas, almost without fail, this person would get for herself what I had requested. I could never voice how or why it bothered me so and was shamed and accused of being selfish. Now, I understand the motive behind the person asking. Such freedom in knowing that now. Thank you.
Candy Bradford I had an older sister like that but I caught on early what she was doing so I started telling her I didn't need anything. She is still jealous and suffocating at 75.
Oh my goodness this is exactly what I've been dealing with and just broke a frienship over. I love how you said they don't like the word enough. That's how I felt around this person - like I was never enough.
The behaviors of hyper-competitiveness, one-upmanship and low empathy discussed in this video describes the leadership style of a "trio of toxicity" I once knew (Nicole, Phil, Meghan).
Im not a Muslim, but I know a little about Islam. According to the Qur‘an, Heaven will have seven levels, each one more fantastic than the next. People will be able to visit back and forth between the levels, but no one will be envious of anyone else. There will be no back-biting, no gossip, no one-upmanship, and everyone will be content with what they have. 😊
wow. i truly and deeply love my sister; thanks to this video, i sure understand her a lot better now. i hope she eventually comes to realize how great she is in her own right rather than living in the perpetual comparison, criticism, and insecurity of envy.
I like meeting people with so much esteemed character and personality that they have no concern to give it away freely.
It's because I trust they accept my empathy conversely. 🙏😉
I love how you explain how other people think .
Yes it's like he's actually saying what they're thinking. Before I couldn't understand what they were thinking. Or I couldn't put it into words. Intense very intense.
This describes my now ex to a Tee.
I feel bad for him but I know leaving that relationship was for the best.
Thank you, Dr. Les 🌞 Your guidance is a true blessing…
Ugh, I have stories...one in particular, where someone was basically delusional about succeeding with something they weren't actually qualified for (in hindsight - they are a very persuasive person and had me convinced at the time that they were a shoe-in, I am out of that fish-bowl now and can see things clearly). I shared in their excitement, I was in that weird delusion with them, happy FOR them, I said "If you win, maybe you could hire me as your nanny" (or something, I cant recall exactly what) and I swear to god, this person (a narc, obviously) turned around and rewarded me for my support & enthusiasm by telling me "don't think you're going to ride my coat-tails"! One of many times this person said something so insensitive and cruel for no reason & really inappropriate considering the circumstances. Of course they didn't even make the "semi-finals" as it were...no I did not rub it in, which is something they probably would have done had the shoe been on the other foot...I DO have empathy...I encouraged them to try another time, with something else, to not give up. Now, I believe that same person has sabotaged my life, my relationships, due to another delusional belief, in essence, they have rationalized beating me down because they believe I am responsible for a life failure of theirs that was 100% their own doing and undoing. They triangulated me, in hindsight they have been triangulating me and everyone else for a very long time.
She McGee, I know exactly what you are saying here and I have experienced some of that also...the insidious part is the triangulation behind the scenes and here we are fully trusting someone who is destroying us behind our backs.... repaying us for our good and love with evil and hate. It is pure evil.
So sorry you have had this treatment.
@@lovearttherapyalways demonic! I don't think a person can have a soul and do this to another human being, much less a family member. So, at least I know, when they die and I die, we will not be going to the same place and will never meet again, in any lifetime or on any dimension.
@@sheilajac I agree completely! It is heartbreaking to see these harsh truths head on but I am at a place in my life whereby enough is enough! When someone shows us their true colors, believe them! God bless you!
dear dr carter, you have sustained me over a v difficult period recently. thank you so much. a dear friend died unexpectedly whom i had come to really love, and the family are being quite horrid. i am trying to keep my dignity, say nothing, avoid them. they bullied and exploited her, took her for granted. all they asked was, is there a will, where is it. not how did it happen, how was she lately.
those who cared for her, in fact kept her alive, are ignored and worse, treated as interlopers.
Your list beginning at 8:00, including “enough” and “satisfied” gave me understanding to why I had to detach from the N. family member who cannot listen without comparing.
This is why the super rich cannot stop and enjoy what they have... they compete for supersize yachts and spaceship rides ... I wonder if they have any joy at all... but unfortunately they get to make decisions for huge numbers of people ... and they do it without empathy for those people.
More, more, more. Dr. C
Maybe we should put them all on a spaceship, send it to outer space, and leave it there.
A million thanks for this video! May the good Lord continue to strengthen you to do this good work.
Very useful video....everyone feels envy at sometime in their lives but when you're happy with your own situation envy dies down☺
Yes. I have now learned to put the envious in my life behind a barrier. Linking envy to low empathy, and to taunting, answers my key questions about their behaviour. It explains a *lot*. Actually, I feel sufficiently safe from them these days to feel very sorry for them, they really miss out on the one thing worth having, the joy of true connection. Thank you!!
I feel sorry for envious people, too.
I’ve either admired or been happy for those that have more than me and tried to find out how they achieved those things and could never understand envy but now I get it.
"Possessions are nothing more than an inconvenience and expectations simply a premeditated resentment." ~ Unknown
This topic is just what I was thinking today! I have a colleague at work who is nice and fun most times but also the most envious person anyone has met. This video taught me to beware the lack of empathy which shows itself in her now and then...
Thanks for another informative video. I am astonished at how many envious people are out there. I have had several friendships or rather what I thought were sincere friends turn on me out of envy. The sad part is those same people had way more than me financially and yet were harbouring all this envy at little things. I found myself having to walk away over and over again from such people. There is a saying that says.... an envious friend is a dangerous enemy. All of this saddens me. I wish it were easier to find good and sincere friends. God bless you and sweet Gus!
An envious person becomes depressed when they see you succeed and wants nothing more than for you to fail. I believe, no I'm positive that envy is the root of all evilness.
Thank you Dr. C, it perfectly completes the video about jealousy and now I've learned the difference between both.
Looking forward to this one! What a great topic!
Right out of the gate, Dr. Carter- i so appreciate how you explained the difference between jealousy and envy. In regards to narcissism, your explanation made so much sense I’m (edited *in) understanding why a narcissist does what they do. Thanks for all you do for team healthy! You and your videos are my “bonus.”
So pleased! Dr. C
Dr. Carter!, sometimes I don’t think a “ like” button is enough to thank you for how your sessions are helping me to heal. But thank you so much!! 🙏 🙏
Thanks, Daphne. I'm pleased that you find the videos useful! Dr. C
Best to separate yourself from envious people as it will eventually mess with your mind if you stay around them long enough.
Been waiting for this one thankyou DR C.
Dr Carter, Love you and your Angel self. Your chair even give me a visual of your wings😉
Thanks, Amanda. The angel chair is comfortable. Dr.C
I have had to deal with envy and jealousy my whole life. I have finally come to terms with knowing I would rather be alone than engage with these miserable individuals.
No! It is not true that misery loves company. Misery fits right in with miserly. They are miserable and cheap misers.
Stingy with there belongings, their empathy and compassion. I have come to despise these envious evil-doers.
I have too, but the problem is I’ve never understood why.
😲wow thank you Dr C for sharing your knowledge on this now I have a better understanding of these people, the places these narcissists take you to is unbelievable and often hard to fathom,very stuck and troubled soul's,but they won't do the inner work to grow.
The narcissist have the beautiful home with the swimming pool the beautiful maintenance lawn the nice automobiles and the capability to travel and enjoy life but they choose instead to go around the neighborhood or family and people they consider friends or acquaintance and make their life a living hell and be so dependent on them to be the narcs entertainment director and to be at their beckoning call at any time of the day and any hour of the night. I can't understand with all of the beauty God is blessed them with that they can't even enjoy that and stay in their own lane but they can go through the neighborhood or through family friends or acquaintances and be the worst nightmare you can even imagine. SMH.
Narcissism and the craving for superiority are constant bedfellows. Dr. C
Dr.C, I am so thankful GOD did not let me fall into the black pit of narcissistic ways. I choose my peace and bliss over their material greed and empty life.
Years ago I visited a new home my College roommate had purchased and helped design, I really wondered how I would feel..I was so relieved that I had such a positive attitude and was so excited for her…and so much of that came from HER attitude also
That's healthy! Dr. C
Never felt jealous of anyone that I know of. It is sickening though when others are jealous and envious of you especially when their bank accounts are well over a million or two or three. Just happy our car runs. 😊
I was once in my life more humble and I was dealing with my narcissist husband and actually just in my survival mode. After we divorced then I started having some envy towards my friend. She had her parents help her with all of her difficult financial situations. I was struggling to raise my children on a very low income and I didn't have any help. So I started feeling sorry for myself,at the time I didn't realize that I was feeling sorry for myself but rather I was just in a difficult place. So after some years I told my friend that I was jealous of her and that when she fell into a pile of crap then she came out smelling like a rose but when I fell into a pile of crap then I smelled like crap. She said well I didn't realize that you felt this way and I can see where you can feel this way. I told her I needed to work on myself and I didn't like who I was becoming. She said we all have our insecurities and I envy you in ways because you have came through your crap better than I have. So we have to acknowledge each other and talk about what is eating at us and not let that cancer spread out and take us over. Yes life is difficult and trying and crazy at times,most times that is. We have to search ourselves thoroughly and decide what we have to change because we'll never be better and move forward if we don't always stop and consider what or why do we feel and think as we do.
Is it possible for a person to act as you describe & not be a narcissist? Every narcissist I know sounds like this
Great information! It is very difficult interacting with a person when the past is not resolved, who's perceived slights are still swirling around, instead of being present! It presents its self in so many ways!
Fantastic!! Whenever I've learned any of these aspects from experience I've paid with a bump on my head. Dr. Carter Your wealth of knowledge is not just fulfilling but I imagine it also has come at price. Thank you for sharing. Know you are making a difference. Because of your work ill have less bruises. Thanks again.
Thank you so much for this DR Les, Truth and clarity, When they're envious they do things to try make you envious of them, Life is a competition, Peace, love, Respect to you, Gus and everyone, Thank you universe 🌷🐶🌚💜🐱🌈🌌💛❤😃🌝💚👽🌹😘😊🎨🖼👁💙🕊☘🐉
Not all personalities deserve empathy. The Bible says that greed is the root of all evil. If you are envious, you are greedy and not satisfied or grateful for what you have.
So well stated and explained, thank you so much for all your very wise insights, Dr. Carter 💕
I can't imagine any human being that doesn't have some sort of envy but could it be balanced out with empathy trying to walk in another shoes and see their perspective I think most humans fall short of being the good true and beautiful person they were born to be
I think there truly are some people who aren’t envious or jealous. I know I’m one of them.
Im not overly given to envy, but I admit I do get a twinge of it whenever I see a really tall woman.
This is so helpful. My only sister ticks all these boxes. This video is good reminder of what to look out for. Very thankful for this video.
Thank you, Dr. C! 🌻
Your videos give me encouragement everyday, Dr. C. Thanks! It's easy to forget but you help remind me!
Not all sarcasm is bad, just the kind that cuts one person down to inflate another. Some sarcasm is fun between those who can get the implied joke.... no belittling allowed.
Ok, I can flow with that. Dr. C
You perfectly described my father.
Thank you, Dr. Carter! You’ve helped me significantly. Your channel is amazing, and I can’t wait for others to experience the joys and positive changes that come with discovering your work. 💖
And Dr. Les- yes your videos have given insight in to myself and others. I need to work on how to respond when in these dynamics, particularly with family whom carry some narcissistic tendencies. Of the passive/ covert style. Has taken me decades to get insight and understanding in to the dysfunctional ways of some folks in my life, busy doing life... your insights have given me fresh perspectives and I thank you. From the west coast of the USA.
@ Dr. C and community… Thank you empathy is good. Sarcasm can also be a coping mechanism in my opinion.
Thank you very much, many narcissistic individuals indeed
Thank you, Dr Carter, for raising the difficult and, in my experience, rarely discussed subject of envy. Once again, you've shed very helpful light on my path and helped me realize I am not alone as I seek to let the lies of envy roll off me like the proverbial water off the duck's back. I'm not sure why this is so challenging for me, but it is, and I really appreciate your help.
So pleased! Dr. C
Thanks.
Beware of too much black and white thinking, and thinking in terms of "we and them", though. There are, of course people who act and talk in such destructive ways that it is totally necessary to make sound boundaries or even get away and and go no contact - yet most people have both good and bad in them, and all this almost revelling in "how bad they are" (and how we are so different and better), might not be very sound in the long run. It might be a time for it, but it also might be a time for just focusing on other things in life. Well, maybe I am just preaching for myself. Have good life! :-)
That being said, understanding "cluster B"-disorders is important, IMO. Especially if it could lead to a way of preventing people with too many of those traits to be leaders in society. So thanks for the good work of giving information!
Ooh the title is interesting
Because when I was younger I was jealous of everybody but I kept it inside. That’s when I was a kid. It took me a long time to grow into my own skin.
And jealous is the wrong word. I envied everything outside of myself. I wanted what other girls had.
“I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content - whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” - Philippians 4:12-13
I don’t know if I agree 100%. I am able to feel both envy and empathy. I don’t feel a need to resent those whom I envy because I can understand that the envy is my problem to deal with.
I've noticed that because everyone has a bit different of a value system it is kind of a crap shoot on whom is going to be envious of me
after walking into a new classroom or any other meeting place starting to participate in a meet up. Only one thing for sure is that whenever I am out of touch concerning something like the Star Trek series if I were to try and fit in along with others on an outing to one of those Trekkies conventions I would be wise to stay quieter than usual given my advanced age since I know nothing about comic books while only liking to draw. My 7 year old grandson disagreed with me 3 days ago after I admitted to him that I am old and it sure made my day.
Thanks as always, Dr. Les. 🤗
How is this different from economic inequality that's so extreme it actually hurts the economy?
According to my friend who worked on Wall Street for 8 years and survived the World Trade Center bombing of 2001, "If you hoard money and never use it, the economy isn't going to move anyway and given enough time will create an extremes wealth inequality that will blow up in the greed monsters faces."
He said he's not jealous. Every person in his company was killed that day, including his 2 good friends and her unborn baby - "and still people choose not to learn that extreme anything (esp greed) kills people."
He was burned over 60% of his body and still has little memory of why he lived. He doesn't want anything they have, because he thinks what they have is nothing. He doesn't care if they're the wealthiest person on earth. "If you can constantly look at pictures of sick & starving children and still whine all the time about your own problems you got nothing I want."
The concept that always evaded my US CHAIR FORCE egomaniacal vampire was One Boat, One Screw, One Crew. Had he been in the NAVY he would have gotten the Fan Room attitude adjustment.
Thank you Dr. Carter.