I think she was trying to say she was more alert, but of course even if you are careful someone can hurt you anyways. I wasn’t a fan of this message but that’s how she felt for herself.
@Pepperthecory totally understood that. I was just quite put off by some wording. I am honestly still here hours later shaking my head at this one today. Everyone's story I their's to tell. I am not here to judge. I am here call out something I found quite offensive to me.
And being where I am today and being able to pick up on the weird msg in that moment as I am listening; I wanted to voice that up that as a victim of assault never ever once has is happened because someone allowed it!!!!! Just in case anyone else listening in that moment needed a reminder.
I have so much empathy for Serena. I wasnt in a cult but my mother was my torturer. My 20s were a blur, I'm 47 now and finding peace. What an amazing human. Subscribed!!
You are my age. I still have the dreams. Knowing that one is always in danger is not a grand way to grow up. Keeping quiet was always the rule. Listening further, the clubbing and utilising sexuality to get my own way …. And the control it gave me was so empowering. Being able to say “No” was incredible. Ummmm, I’ve gone into Nope Mode and decided Vodka is a good place to sit in today. The discussion about Mums was also very freeing for me. Thankyou all for your hearts. Bless you and yours this New Year.
Amazing that Serena Kelley had the the strength and insight that her environment was unsafe and she needed to find safety and survive. It is easy to see how most would give up and surrender. It is easy to see how the hopelessness could lead to despair, self-hatred, substence abuse or suicide.
It's so weird for me to listen to stories from this particular cult because my dad's name is David Berg and my name is Candace Berg. I hate that I share a last name with the man so awful, but I am absolutely so happy that my father is nothing like that man. He's extremely respectful of women's autonomy and rights and very loving but in an appropriate father-daughter way. I can't even imagine growing up in a situation like that and I'm so thankful for this channel allowing people to get their stories out when they want to tell them.
Becoming a parent has been so triggering for me and my response was to just stop moving my body so I don’t need to be as present- thank you for the reminder to find a way to move through the trauma. Thank you for sharing your story. I come from such a similar background
38:17 if she was on GHB in her 20s, clubbing partying and passing out, blacking out, ending up at places she doesn't recognize, there's no way she would even know if she was sexually assaulted. I also find this statement very victim-blamey because she's almost suggesting that it's the victim's mentality that determines whether they will be sexually assaulted. We know anyone can be assaulted. If a man wanted to harm her while she was passed out, he would have. She is simply lucky. Also very lucky that police didn't arrest her for driving under the influence many times
Took me 23 years for me to finally speak up about my older brother to my husband who was having difficulties with me because I couldn’t communicate anything about my SA… i had finally felt like everything lifted off he didn’t judge me he was so upset with how I have been dealing it alone. My parents failed me and still do. I’ve cut communication and told my kids that my parents will no longer be in their lives. Honestly best decision for our family.
Once, in more recent years, my sister told me something profound that I took to heart & carry in me today. She helped me to get a grip with these words: No FEAR. No SHAME. No PRIDE. No problems. ☮️❤☮️❤️☮️ Like a mantra when I need it.
Any child should be able to feel safe with both parents! I'm so glad you do these videos and so proud of this woman for coming forward. People need to know this really happens.
Oh wow! The section on partying and movement REALLY resonates with me. I'm blown away. I took some crazy risks, but in a lot of ways, my partying days saved me and now I understand why. Thank you both! ❤❤
You’ve shown incredible strength by surviving and thriving after everything you’ve been through. I’ve had my own experiences with trauma, so I understand the struggle, and I felt compelled to comment. I’m genuinely glad that you were fortunate enough not to get assaulted. It’s important to acknowledge that being assaulted often has nothing to do with you, how you view yourself, your sense of self-respect, or even how alert you may be, especially if you were under the influence. Ultimately, it’s not about you-it’s about the perpetrator and their decision to commit the act. Understanding this provides women or men who have been assaulted with an essential first step toward recovery.
I'm curious how the ayahuasca experience itself has some serious culty vibes and how someone who survived a cult grappled with that. Wish that had been expanded on further.
I remember you Serena, i was in that cult when you were a little girl. I'm so glad that you got away from these monsters, I'm so proud of you sweety ❤️ ♥️ 💖
i love how, even with all of us having different backgrounds, we can all still relate. my life was so so so different than serena's, but i still relate so much to her story
I also love the two parts. I feel like i can hear more of the story. I particularly enjoy when the guests speak about their lives after. It gives me hope.
This story had me enthralled but the moment that hit me was when Serena said her mom mentioned the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son…. I got shivers down my spine… I grew up in what I call a cult but compared to what Serena and the children of god cult went through it absolutely was not. But anyway, my mom’s favorite story to recite was the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son, and she would say that it was inspiring and she aspired to be like Abraham….. while she served my little brother and I on a silver plater for the cult leader and the elders.
Sweetheart, I hope you know that just because your abuse wasn't "as bad" as Serena's doesn't mean what you went through wasn't abuse as well. It sounds like you've been through a hell of a lot too. I grew up in a cult too, and sometimes I find comfort in stories like Serena's because I can be like "well, at least what I went through wasn't as bad as this", and it can feel like a relief. But I always make sure to remind myself that it's not necessary to compare and that just because someone else has it worse, doesn't mean what we went through wasn't also really bad. Please be kind to yourself today
@ thank you for your kind words. I do tend to invalidate my own experiences while watching stories like this because my empathy and compassion for others is more than I have for myself. But I’m trying to work on that as an almost 40 year old woman. I am sorry that you also experienced a childhood like this, you/none of us deserved this. I hope you are in a much better place in your life now, I definitely am 💛 hugs
I’m so sorry to hear that. Heartbreaking when a mother loses sight of her duty to protect her own because of a cult. Or worse, claim she would do the unspeakable for it.
@@CultstoConsciousness yes, it definitely turned into one of those where you are competing to be the most loyal righteous and devoted. Good news, she (my mom) won the competition and lost everything.. but still only sees it as “trials and tribulations” in her journey with the lord.” Watching these stories help me heal, and I want to thank you so deeply from my heart for all of your work and what you do to raise consciousness!!!!💗💗💗💗
The ayahuasca experience, Ms Kelley's first experience on her second day, has me crying. Something about that. Great advice on movement and body. I had a counsellor that got me to heal from trauma by connecting me back to how I feel physically. I'm very lucky to have been put with her - at first counselling was a dud, but the same dud counsellors put me through to the good one at a different organization. Great to see Ms Kelley full of energy.
Horses are so magical with healing people's souls. A horse is all about energy. Many people don't know a horse can match with your heartbeats and slowly lower yours. Making you calmer, some horses will do this with anyone holding trauma. My horse will only do it with me, we are very bonded. I'm so glad Serena has that Equine Therapy experience. The things people do children is so horrific. Thank you for having her back for pt 2. She's very brave telling her trauma to so many people. ❣️
I have no words or even the right ones to convey my heartbreak for this beautiful, smart, clever, woman. Ginormous mom-hugs for her. Because I have nothing else to offer other than non-judgemental care, love, and words of compassion. Serena, thank you for your bravery.
38:34 Correct me if i’m wrong, but is she saying she was never SA’ed because she has respect for herself? What an incredibly ignorant and hurtful thing to say…as someone who has been SA’ed multiple times, since the age of 9, all i have to say is what the fuck girl? for real? SA has nothing to do with respecting yourself regardless of this being in a club setting. Disappointing that this was kept in the interview. someone please correct me if I am misunderstanding.
I can definitely see how it would come across that way. The point was I learned through my childhood how to avoid situations where I would be at a higher risk for SA. Something others may not be aware of, having grown up in a safer environment. Because of trauma, you are constantly in fight or flight, with a heightened sense of danger and wanting to avoid it. This played into my party environment for my specific situation, not for anyone else. Of course it’s never the victim’s fault when it happens. (i also made a video about my experience with a stalker last year and what it taught me). Thanks for the comment and pointing that out, I’ll be sure to articulate clearer in the future.
@@garfieldshauntedmansion420 I found super disheartening that this wasn't addressed in the video done later. Her response to my comment and yours didn't take responsibility for the messaging that people allow their assaults. I thought this was a genuine space, I'm sadly doubting now
@@Thewildwell I'm pretty sure myself and the 100 plus individuals would disagree. I am so put off by the defending of that part of what Serena said. I would have far more appreciated acknowledgment of how dangerously she worded that part; instead of more qualifications of why she should be above individuals that have been assaulted. Sad. Super sad sad day.
I appreciate this interview but I’d like to say- many women who are assaulted also believe their bodies are a treasure. You got lucky very much so that you didn’t encounter someone who overpowered you. Assuming that your friends who were assaulted just didn’t have strong enough boundaries is so hurtful. Edit*word choice
1:22:40 I started crying I am going through it and have had to go no contact with nearly all my family because when my son overdosed and lived they thought they could give advice. I needed support! Great interview!
@@stephenfisher3721 By sharing their stories, more people become aware of these cults, which then prevents them from being recruited to join them (because the recruiters 100% rely on the person not yet knowing about the cult) and thus also prevents the abuse from happening
I am totally amazed by your path to healing, by everything you have done and the road you’ve walked! I teach newcomers immigrant and refugee kids and many have trauma. Some of their parents tell me their story, some of the kids sometimes have PTSD even CPTSD. Being who I am, having lived sexual abuse at 7 from someone of my larger family, having been in a cult for a couple of months (or should I say years because I was actively going to Catholic Church before getting caught up in the cult), I know about trauma, it’s written in my body and I think it’s what makes me be able to work with those kids and family with a unique approach. It’s what makes me be able to listen to stories like yours and not run away from them, but embracing the stories and people who have gone through them. I rarely talk about my story now because it’s a part of me that I don’t need to share with everyone, it’s personal but listening to you makes me realize how much it has made me who I am. And when I do talk about it, I do it with a calm and like it’s no big deal kind of way and people are floored to hear it and understand that kind of vibe I have about me that transpires. I cannot thank you enough both Shelise and Serena for the great opportunity to listen to stories like this and be able to relate to people that have gone through similar things because back in the days I was in a cult and came out of it (it was almost 30 years ago), people didn’t know about cults, people didn’t understand anything about it and it wasn’t talked about. I did my unpacking and healing journey on my own with very little help. Thank you so much for all that you are doing! 💖💖💖💖
What an amazing woman! Words I needed to hear. Ugh her chasing her 3 year old self hit me like a ton of bricks but what truth in that you already rescued her! Thank you for handling these subjects with such grace!
Bless you Serena Kelley for sharing your story and your healing journey, which has led to you assisting others on their healing journey. I have a history of CSA within the Mormon Church as a seven year old. Your sharing has given my inner child and my adult self a positive boost as I watched the love and joy radiate from you at where you are in your life now after such a horrific childhood. Bless you
The more I see/hear of this story, the more astonished I am that this is the world we live in. We all kind of want to believe in the good in this world, like almost having blinders on...just because we don't want to think this kind of evil that exists.. but there is soo much bad out there, and these kinds of videos shed light on it all, which is extremely important! And is why I watch these kinds of stories from real victims. The more knowledge we have, perhaps the more we can see the signs and prevent more victims!
It existed in many neighborhood churches, temples, mosques, etc., and many children who are labeled in different ways are actually suffering. Awareness of the underbelly of all of mankind is a step towards stamping it out.
Sending love and support to anyone that can relate to any part of this story of survival and thriving. Thank you, Chalise, for providing the many opportunities to offer comfort, love and support to our sisters that have come through so very much.
Thank you Serena for being a guest on this show. I'm seeing quite a communicator. The way you're explaining your experiences is very easy to follow! You seem to have charisma I'm betting you're going to go far in this world and make a name for yourself. All done though, in a modest way. Take care
Very powerful story. Serena describing working through the metaphysical relationship with her mother, and the necessity of joyful physical activity to move through trama… Gave me a lot to think about and explore in my healing. 💛 I haven’t gotten to the point of being able to tell my story publicly. There are still a lot of aspects I haven’t discussed with anyone yet. But I know sharing my experiences will help others, the way others’ survival stories have helped me so deeply. Serena is giving me a lot of hope and making me excited for my future. ✨💛✨
I appreciate these videos being broken into multiple parts. They are so much to take in, and breaks to decompress are important, for me at least. I admire Serena's strength and willingness to share her story.
I was born the youngest of 17 children, in Cache Valley utah, of a 40yr old mother who had had her 9th child in 13 years, and my 67yr old father. I don't know how to talk more to someone. I became a Born Again Christian in 1985, and began a years long struggle exiting the mainstream Mormon faith.
Thank you! I was not raised in a cult. I did experience other trauma as a child and have been diagnosed with D.I.D. (disassociative identities disorder) from that trauma. I needed your story. I needed your words and your love. I feel I have heard you when I needed to and I must thank you! I partied so hard. I have danced since I was a child and my best memories surround dance. I'm learning about somatic healing, I had the best counselor and the best acupuncturist BUT covid happened and everything disappeared, POOF. I HAVE FELT LIKE I'M SLOWLY DYING. THE WORKS HAS FALLEN AWAY. I now have other ideas for getting treatment/ help and a direction. Thank you. 😊
Amazing that Serena Kelley was able to recognize and establish her own identity at age 16 in spite of the abuse and mind control. Many adolescents in good families have trouble individuating.
Omg!! Thanks for the last part about your mom. I dont speak to her and don't want a relationship with her. However, I have peace, i don't hold anger or resentment, i understand where she was at the time and now. I'm tired of people always saying I have to forgive and saying I did, I dont hold anger, that doesn't mean I have to see her, or have a relationship..
First of all: I'm so happy for you, Serena, that you have become someone who can be (and is) good to yourself and to others despite the obstacles and deficiencies thrown into your upbringing. You are brave to share your story with Shelise and us. Second: PATH or Eagala (or other that I may not know about)? So glad you found someone along with the horses to extend your road to mental health, and more importantly, to help others there. Not everyone can (or should) see themselves in an equine's eye. It is lovely see connections and revelations and growth made.
I remembering hearing about Ricky. Learning new stories about cog really helps make me understand the cult better and how sad and twisted and disgusting it was. Sending love to all the people who heal everyday after leaving that cult.
i had a similar experience with the party scene. i partied hard from 33-36 and it was also part of my healing journey - i needed to shake out all that repressed energy. nothing bad happened to me either even though i was very open to experiences and people. i think my age had a lot to do with that.
Wow wow wow! I'm at a loss for words. This is such a powerful story of resiliency. You speak so well and have so much to say to help others who don't have a voice. So much love to you both.
Thanks for the podcast and for sharing. It was interesting to hear that and also very sad. I'm glad to hear that you left the cult. I hope that a time will come when there will be no more cults/religions! And that there will be equal rights for everyone regardless of age, gender, skin color, money, etc.! And kudos to you for having the courage to say this.
Thank you, this guest is so wonderful. I just have to say that I believe in mental health and stand by it. However, I'm listening to this woman and what she said said here rang true for me as well. I had not been through what this lady endured. I just want love to envelope her and wash over her to help her heal. But she was right that not every therapist can deal with cult survivors. First, some of them have no clue what a cult is or what his on and then this person's stuff is so much more than. I'm not lessing anyone else's journey just OMG to this one.
I can totally relate to seeing your family pop up on tv and social media , etc. Being from Texas you probably know my former family, Serena , they were local hero professional wrestlers. To this day I’ll be happily scrolling on fb and suddenly my late husband is staring back at me. It’s the most surreal feeling, isn’t it?
Thank you for sharing your story and for being so brave. I have done the equestrian horse therapy. It was such an amazing experience. I would recommend this to anyone experiencing trauma past or present.
Its almost a miracle that Serena had the intuition to recognize that her environment was not safe and the fortitude to formulate an escape plan. Really an inspirational human. But it made me so sad to think how many children were subjected to this, who did not have the same instincts or resources to extricate themselves. And how do we know these practices are not continuing today, given the cult’s expertise at secrecy. This is horrible. Bless you for saving yourself Serena.
So much unexpected and so much to consider. It is common for people to tell others that they need help or to go to a therapist. But the truth is that it is very difficult to find a good therapist (i.e. one that helps you), especially if you live in a small conservative town. If you are lucky, they won't do any harm. Often because of insurance restrictions, a person needing help is shuffled off to someone with a medical degree to give medication, which is often only a bandage to hide the real issues. Many of the people leaving cults try to be like Spock from Star Trek, that is, very rational and against anything spiritual. I was not expecting mention of trauma recovery, ayahuasca, equine therapy, walking, or art.
Yes, I disassociated from myself most of my young life. I don't even remember some of my children's young years. I was in survival mode into my 40's. I now live in the mountains of Oaxaca with my soulmate.
There have been a number of documentaries and fictionalized accounts. Children of God (1994): a 63-minute documentary about the Padilla family is currently available for streaming as are others.
Wow this is the best interview I listened to on this podcast. This guest is an amazing person. Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving me hope in my life.
My oldest, Kid#1, graduated from St Edwards Uni in Austin right on Congress on the east side of the river in 2021. They also thought they’d go back to grad school for social work, and in the same way found out it was too triggering for them. StEds was such an ideal place for them, coming from a very rural era in Western NY, wanting to be in a city, but still wanting a smaller community. And OMG who knew a catholic uni would be so damn progressive & fully embrace a multicultural life style including giving major love to their LGBTQIA+ students. It really was the perfect blend of small town & city living for them.
In the same vein as the body keeps the score, highly recommend the book “the deepest well” by Nadine Burke Harris, she’s a pediatrician who pioneered research into in the physiological effects of childhood trauma and toxic stress! (Also she narrates the audiobook herself and it’s great)
From Wikipedia: Nadine Burke Harris (born October 5, 1975) is a Canadian-American pediatrician who was the Surgeon General of California between 2019 and 2022; she is the first person appointed to that position.She is known for linking adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress with harmful effects to health later in life. Hailed as a pioneer in the treatment of toxic stress
You are obviously a prime example of having a “higher calling”. Your experience, strength, and ability to share your “story” is of such importance in “the great awaking”, being experienced by mankind, presently. Thank you for your assistance! P.S….you are so beautiful!!
Is sounds like Ricky was such a kind and selfless person. I don’t at all blame him for killing one of the monsters who abused him, but I really wished he hadn’t killed himself. I really wish he’d gotten the help he needed. 😢
I don’t have words to explain how much admiration I have for Serena. Truly inspiring. And her ayahuasca story made me cry, what an amazing experience. Thank you C2C for having this platform for these badass people to share their stories
I heard Ron White, the comedian, talking about this with Joe Rogan. And he had an absolute amazing experience with it. But when he had told them that he was an alcoholic, they had told him that he had to be dry for I don't know if it was 2 weeks or 2 months.
Serena Kelley is unexpectedly articulate and unexpectedly projects an inner self-self confidence. (Was that acquired over time and with great effort? Perhaps her love of reading helped her to be articulate.) Unlike with many other guests, I did not feel like joining her in a crying session. This is surprising since she was not in a religion that works for some and not others, but a real cult. No one today seriously claims that the Children of God was a bona fide religion during the years she was a member. I doubt the comment section will be filled with defenders of the Children of God. (Except perhaps for some lonely men who like the flirty fishing). There is an overwhelming amount of information available about the Children of God, all of it horrifying. Serena could have saddened us with details of her life of begging and eating scraps of food and sickened us with graphic tales of abuse but she didn't. I also find it interesting that unlike so many guests interviewed, she did not automatically and readily dismiss and hate everything about the cult and her years in it. Serena explicitly states that she learned some things that helped her or at least things that she was able to turn in her favor. I don't know if others would see this as objectively true but at least this reframing has made her stronger and healthier.
I try very much to avoid all black and white thinking, which means analyzing things a lot more and not dismissing something just because. It’s helped me have a much healthier, happier, and positive outlook on life :)
Serena's TH-cam channel says *Serena travels the world but is based out of Austin, Texas". I guess she either likes it there or simply wants some stability in her life. Maybe a little of both.
Have a question rather than comment. I am in therapy for prolonged trauma throughout life and we have started on healing my inner child which I am finding the most difficult so far. What books are out there that have helped people with this. I love reading and having the time doing so on my own.
I don't know of any books, but I recently heard about but haven't yet started working through DNMS (Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy. My counselor told me that once I work through that process EMDR should work for me, and is why it didn't when we first tried.
How are her parents not doing life in prison, especially her mom? What they did, and encouraged others to do, is beyond sick. There are no words. They were adults when they went into the cult. They knew what they were doing was heinous. They don't deserve to be free.
There are statues of limitations. Also crimes committed in countries outside the United States are subject to different legal systems and are often very difficult to prosecute. Using different names and changing countries makes it all even more difficult.
Anyone else whom picked up on this msg.... if you've been assaulted, you did not allow it to happen to you. No matter what.
Thank you.
I think she was trying to say she was more alert, but of course even if you are careful someone can hurt you anyways. I wasn’t a fan of this message but that’s how she felt for herself.
@Pepperthecory totally understood that. I was just quite put off by some wording. I am honestly still here hours later shaking my head at this one today. Everyone's story I their's to tell. I am not here to judge. I am here call out something I found quite offensive to me.
And being where I am today and being able to pick up on the weird msg in that moment as I am listening; I wanted to voice that up that as a victim of assault never ever once has is happened because someone allowed it!!!!! Just in case anyone else listening in that moment needed a reminder.
Came to the comments to see if anyone else was offended by that. So much victim blaming!
I have so much empathy for Serena. I wasnt in a cult but my mother was my torturer. My 20s were a blur, I'm 47 now and finding peace. What an amazing human. Subscribed!!
Welcome to C2C ❤ thanks for sharing
You are my age. I still have the dreams. Knowing that one is always in danger is not a grand way to grow up. Keeping quiet was always the rule.
Listening further, the clubbing and utilising sexuality to get my own way …. And the control it gave me was so empowering. Being able to say “No” was incredible.
Ummmm, I’ve gone into Nope Mode and decided Vodka is a good place to sit in today.
The discussion about Mums was also very freeing for me.
Thankyou all for your hearts.
Bless you and yours this New Year.
Amazing that Serena Kelley had the the strength and insight that her environment was unsafe and she needed to find safety and survive. It is easy to see how most would give up and surrender. It is easy to see how the hopelessness could lead to despair, self-hatred, substence abuse or suicide.
Thanks for bringing back this guest. She is so brave, resilient, and I love the way Serena tells her story.
Going to go live with her too so you can ask questions 😁
It's so weird for me to listen to stories from this particular cult because my dad's name is David Berg and my name is Candace Berg. I hate that I share a last name with the man so awful, but I am absolutely so happy that my father is nothing like that man. He's extremely respectful of women's autonomy and rights and very loving but in an appropriate father-daughter way. I can't even imagine growing up in a situation like that and I'm so thankful for this channel allowing people to get their stories out when they want to tell them.
As a therapist, a lot of the work I do with clients is very deep inner child work.
Becoming a parent has been so triggering for me and my response was to just stop moving my body so I don’t need to be as present- thank you for the reminder to find a way to move through the trauma. Thank you for sharing your story. I come from such a similar background
I feel you! You’re doing amazing ❤
Her smile is everything. The fact that she has to go through such trauma is really sad and heartbreaking !
I’m really in awe of what an articulate, aware, brave and beautiful human you are. ❤❤❤
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
Yes 🙌
38:17 if she was on GHB in her 20s, clubbing partying and passing out, blacking out, ending up at places she doesn't recognize, there's no way she would even know if she was sexually assaulted. I also find this statement very victim-blamey because she's almost suggesting that it's the victim's mentality that determines whether they will be sexually assaulted. We know anyone can be assaulted. If a man wanted to harm her while she was passed out, he would have. She is simply lucky. Also very lucky that police didn't arrest her for driving under the influence many times
Took me 23 years for me to finally speak up about my older brother to my husband who was having difficulties with me because I couldn’t communicate anything about my SA… i had finally felt like everything lifted off he didn’t judge me he was so upset with how I have been dealing it alone. My parents failed me and still do. I’ve cut communication and told my kids that my parents will no longer be in their lives. Honestly best decision for our family.
Once,
in more recent years, my sister told me something profound that I took to heart & carry in me today. She helped me to get a grip with these words:
No FEAR.
No SHAME.
No PRIDE.
No problems.
☮️❤☮️❤️☮️
Like a mantra when I need it.
Your story is so important Serena. Thanks Chelise for posting back to back because I was so ready for the next half!
You're so welcome!
Any child should be able to feel safe with both parents! I'm so glad you do these videos and so proud of this woman for coming forward. People need to know this really happens.
Oh wow! The section on partying and movement REALLY resonates with me. I'm blown away. I took some crazy risks, but in a lot of ways, my partying days saved me and now I understand why. Thank you both! ❤❤
Same. And then recovery saved me.
We gotta remove the shame from so much in our lives, not just the trauma ❤
You’ve shown incredible strength by surviving and thriving after everything you’ve been through. I’ve had my own experiences with trauma, so I understand the struggle, and I felt compelled to comment. I’m genuinely glad that you were fortunate enough not to get assaulted. It’s important to acknowledge that being assaulted often has nothing to do with you, how you view yourself, your sense of self-respect, or even how alert you may be, especially if you were under the influence. Ultimately, it’s not about you-it’s about the perpetrator and their decision to commit the act. Understanding this provides women or men who have been assaulted with an essential first step toward recovery.
I'm curious how the ayahuasca experience itself has some serious culty vibes and how someone who survived a cult grappled with that. Wish that had been expanded on further.
I remember you Serena, i was in that cult when you were a little girl.
I'm so glad that you got away from these monsters, I'm so proud of you sweety ❤️ ♥️ 💖
i love how, even with all of us having different backgrounds, we can all still relate. my life was so so so different than serena's, but i still relate so much to her story
I love these interviews that are 2 parts. It feels like we are really getting to know the guests. And Serena....kudos to you finding your voice.
I also love the two parts. I feel like i can hear more of the story. I particularly enjoy when the guests speak about their lives after. It gives me hope.
Get up and move, do something you love. I really need to hear this today!
Sometimes, getting up is a monumental effort.
@@awg7068 I feel you! Sometimes movement can be as simple as sitting up and that's ok. 🫂
Edit: typo
Movement is anything you make it! Just changing your environment is something ;)
@@awg7068idk what you're going through, but know you're not alone. I have been there before and it is hard. But you can do it :)
This story had me enthralled but the moment that hit me was when Serena said her mom mentioned the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son…. I got shivers down my spine… I grew up in what I call a cult but compared to what Serena and the children of god cult went through it absolutely was not. But anyway, my mom’s favorite story to recite was the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his son, and she would say that it was inspiring and she aspired to be like Abraham….. while she served my little brother and I on a silver plater for the cult leader and the elders.
Sweetheart, I hope you know that just because your abuse wasn't "as bad" as Serena's doesn't mean what you went through wasn't abuse as well. It sounds like you've been through a hell of a lot too. I grew up in a cult too, and sometimes I find comfort in stories like Serena's because I can be like "well, at least what I went through wasn't as bad as this", and it can feel like a relief. But I always make sure to remind myself that it's not necessary to compare and that just because someone else has it worse, doesn't mean what we went through wasn't also really bad. Please be kind to yourself today
@ thank you for your kind words. I do tend to invalidate my own experiences while watching stories like this because my empathy and compassion for others is more than I have for myself. But I’m trying to work on that as an almost 40 year old woman. I am sorry that you also experienced a childhood like this, you/none of us deserved this. I hope you are in a much better place in your life now, I definitely am 💛 hugs
I’m so sorry to hear that. Heartbreaking when a mother loses sight of her duty to protect her own because of a cult. Or worse, claim she would do the unspeakable for it.
I second this. Pain is pain, and it's brutal on anyone who experienced CSA. ❤@shanna333
@@CultstoConsciousness yes, it definitely turned into one of those where you are competing to be the most loyal righteous and devoted. Good news, she (my mom) won the competition and lost everything.. but still only sees it as “trials and tribulations” in her journey with the lord.”
Watching these stories help me heal, and I want to thank you so deeply from my heart for all of your work and what you do to raise consciousness!!!!💗💗💗💗
The ayahuasca experience, Ms Kelley's first experience on her second day, has me crying. Something about that. Great advice on movement and body. I had a counsellor that got me to heal from trauma by connecting me back to how I feel physically. I'm very lucky to have been put with her - at first counselling was a dud, but the same dud counsellors put me through to the good one at a different organization. Great to see Ms Kelley full of energy.
Horses are so magical with healing people's souls. A horse is all about energy. Many people don't know a horse can match with your heartbeats and slowly lower yours. Making you calmer, some horses will do this with anyone holding trauma. My horse will only do it with me, we are very bonded. I'm so glad Serena has that Equine Therapy experience.
The things people do children is so horrific. Thank you for having her back for pt 2. She's very brave telling her trauma to so many people. ❣️
All animals are amazing healers 🤍
I have no words or even the right ones to convey my heartbreak for this beautiful, smart, clever, woman. Ginormous mom-hugs for her. Because I have nothing else to offer other than non-judgemental care, love, and words of compassion. Serena, thank you for your bravery.
38:34 Correct me if i’m wrong, but is she saying she was never SA’ed because she has respect for herself? What an incredibly ignorant and hurtful thing to say…as someone who has been SA’ed multiple times, since the age of 9, all i have to say is what the fuck girl? for real? SA has nothing to do with respecting yourself regardless of this being in a club setting. Disappointing that this was kept in the interview. someone please correct me if I am misunderstanding.
I can definitely see how it would come across that way. The point was I learned through my childhood how to avoid situations where I would be at a higher risk for SA. Something others may not be aware of, having grown up in a safer environment. Because of trauma, you are constantly in fight or flight, with a heightened sense of danger and wanting to avoid it. This played into my party environment for my specific situation, not for anyone else. Of course it’s never the victim’s fault when it happens. (i also made a video about my experience with a stalker last year and what it taught me). Thanks for the comment and pointing that out, I’ll be sure to articulate clearer in the future.
@@garfieldshauntedmansion420 How did this msg get missed before posting?? I'm deeply saddened by this one.
@@garfieldshauntedmansion420 I found super disheartening that this wasn't addressed in the video done later. Her response to my comment and yours didn't take responsibility for the messaging that people allow their assaults. I thought this was a genuine space, I'm sadly doubting now
That isn’t how it came across at all. She’s saying her trauma response from hyper vigilance made her less vulnerable. Nowhere did she blame victims.
@@Thewildwell I'm pretty sure myself and the 100 plus individuals would disagree. I am so put off by the defending of that part of what Serena said. I would have far more appreciated acknowledgment of how dangerously she worded that part; instead of more qualifications of why she should be above individuals that have been assaulted. Sad. Super sad sad day.
I appreciate this interview but I’d like to say- many women who are assaulted also believe their bodies are a treasure. You got lucky very much so that you didn’t encounter someone who overpowered you. Assuming that your friends who were assaulted just didn’t have strong enough boundaries is so hurtful. Edit*word choice
@@Marie-fl5yr Thank you for this comment
Absolutely heart-breaking story. And yet another example of how sexual abuse is a feature, not a bug, within cults.
Serena, you are awesome! I am blown away by your story. Your courage and clarity and honesty are beautiful and inspiring.
Thank you so much and thanks for watching!
@@serkelley I wouldn't have missed it! You're an incredibly inspiring person. Much love to you, many blessings.♥
1:22:40 I started crying
I am going through it and have had to go no contact with nearly all my family because when my son overdosed and lived they thought they could give advice. I needed support! Great interview!
Liked. Shared. Commented. Sent the algorithm to rescue children.
How does that rescue children?
@@stephenfisher3721spreads awareness and signs of human trafficking because this is what this is.
You're the best!
@@stephenfisher3721 By sharing their stories, more people become aware of these cults, which then prevents them from being recruited to join them (because the recruiters 100% rely on the person not yet knowing about the cult) and thus also prevents the abuse from happening
I am totally amazed by your path to healing, by everything you have done and the road you’ve walked! I teach newcomers immigrant and refugee kids and many have trauma. Some of their parents tell me their story, some of the kids sometimes have PTSD even CPTSD. Being who I am, having lived sexual abuse at 7 from someone of my larger family, having been in a cult for a couple of months (or should I say years because I was actively going to Catholic Church before getting caught up in the cult), I know about trauma, it’s written in my body and I think it’s what makes me be able to work with those kids and family with a unique approach. It’s what makes me be able to listen to stories like yours and not run away from them, but embracing the stories and people who have gone through them. I rarely talk about my story now because it’s a part of me that I don’t need to share with everyone, it’s personal but listening to you makes me realize how much it has made me who I am. And when I do talk about it, I do it with a calm and like it’s no big deal kind of way and people are floored to hear it and understand that kind of vibe I have about me that transpires.
I cannot thank you enough both Shelise and Serena for the great opportunity to listen to stories like this and be able to relate to people that have gone through similar things because back in the days I was in a cult and came out of it (it was almost 30 years ago), people didn’t know about cults, people didn’t understand anything about it and it wasn’t talked about. I did my unpacking and healing journey on my own with very little help. Thank you so much for all that you are doing! 💖💖💖💖
What an amazing woman! Words I needed to hear. Ugh her chasing her 3 year old self hit me like a ton of bricks but what truth in that you already rescued her! Thank you for handling these subjects with such grace!
Bless you Serena Kelley for sharing your story and your healing journey, which has led to you assisting others on their healing journey. I have a history of CSA within the Mormon Church as a seven year old. Your sharing has given my inner child and my adult self a positive boost as I watched the love and joy radiate from you at where you are in your life now after such a horrific childhood. Bless you
The more I see/hear of this story, the more astonished I am that this is the world we live in. We all kind of want to believe in the good in this world, like almost having blinders on...just because we don't want to think this kind of evil that exists.. but there is soo much bad out there, and these kinds of videos shed light on it all, which is extremely important! And is why I watch these kinds of stories from real victims. The more knowledge we have, perhaps the more we can see the signs and prevent more victims!
It existed in many neighborhood churches, temples, mosques, etc., and many children who are labeled in different ways are actually suffering. Awareness of the underbelly of all of mankind is a step towards stamping it out.
Exactly!❤
..."not every therapist can deal with that". Actually almost none. And my abuse was much less than hers. This woman has deep strength.
Finding a therapist who really helps is like winning the lottery.
Sending love and support to anyone that can relate to any part of this story of survival and thriving. Thank you, Chalise, for providing the many opportunities to offer comfort, love and support to our sisters that have come through so very much.
Thank you Serena for being a guest on this show. I'm seeing quite a communicator. The way you're explaining your experiences is very easy to follow! You seem to have charisma I'm betting you're going to go far in this world and make a name for yourself. All done though, in a modest way. Take care
Very powerful story. Serena describing working through the metaphysical relationship with her mother, and the necessity of joyful physical activity to move through trama… Gave me a lot to think about and explore in my healing. 💛
I haven’t gotten to the point of being able to tell my story publicly. There are still a lot of aspects I haven’t discussed with anyone yet. But I know sharing my experiences will help others, the way others’ survival stories have helped me so deeply. Serena is giving me a lot of hope and making me excited for my future. ✨💛✨
Loved listening to both of her stories! Serena is so full of life and positivity. It’s contagious.
I appreciate these videos being broken into multiple parts. They are so much to take in, and breaks to decompress are important, for me at least. I admire Serena's strength and willingness to share her story.
I was born the youngest of 17 children, in Cache Valley utah, of a 40yr old mother who had had her 9th child in 13 years, and my 67yr old father. I don't know how to talk more to someone. I became a Born Again Christian in 1985, and began a years long struggle exiting the mainstream Mormon faith.
Wow! Another amazing interview with Serena. Thank you so much...I learned tons from hearing this story.
Movement truly aids healing, and in my personal experience, being active outside in the sunshine and fresh air intensifies the effects.
Yes! Outdoor movement is life changing!
Thank you! I was not raised in a cult. I did experience other trauma as a child and have been diagnosed with D.I.D. (disassociative identities disorder) from that trauma. I needed your story. I needed your words and your love. I feel I have heard you when I needed to and I must thank you! I partied so hard. I have danced since I was a child and my best memories surround dance. I'm learning about somatic healing, I had the best counselor and the best acupuncturist BUT covid happened and everything disappeared, POOF. I HAVE FELT LIKE I'M SLOWLY DYING. THE WORKS HAS FALLEN AWAY.
I now have other ideas for getting treatment/ help and a direction. Thank you. 😊
Dear Serena,
You are an incredibly strong woman! Thank You for sharing ❤
Thank you for watching!
“I’m a messy action taker”
Me: feels so seen
Beautiful. Beautifully Explicit x P.C. moment. Thank you both for understanding the balance. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Amazing that Serena Kelley was able to recognize and establish her own identity at age 16 in spite of the abuse and mind control. Many adolescents in good families have trouble individuating.
Omg!! Thanks for the last part about your mom. I dont speak to her and don't want a relationship with her. However, I have peace, i don't hold anger or resentment, i understand where she was at the time and now. I'm tired of people always saying I have to forgive and saying I did, I dont hold anger, that doesn't mean I have to see her, or have a relationship..
First of all: I'm so happy for you, Serena, that you have become someone who can be (and is) good to yourself and to others despite the obstacles and deficiencies thrown into your upbringing. You are brave to share your story with Shelise and us.
Second: PATH or Eagala (or other that I may not know about)? So glad you found someone along with the horses to extend your road to mental health, and more importantly, to help others there. Not everyone can (or should) see themselves in an equine's eye. It is lovely see connections and revelations and growth made.
Thank you for sharing your story Serena. Get moving is such good advice.
Thank you for these conversations!
Thanks for continuing to shine Light into the darkness. Thank you, Serena for speaking out. Brightest blessings
Thank you for sharing your story ❤
May you find peace and healing moving forward
Thank you. Serena and the host both.
Thanx Serena. Great story to value my life
Thank you both so much for this! ❤
I remembering hearing about Ricky. Learning new stories about cog really helps make me understand the cult better and how sad and twisted and disgusting it was. Sending love to all the people who heal everyday after leaving that cult.
I'm so glad you're happy and safe now. ❤
Wow, what a story! Thank you for your courage. I made notes of things I need to research and/or think about more.
i had a similar experience with the party scene. i partied hard from 33-36 and it was also part of my healing journey - i needed to shake out all that repressed energy. nothing bad happened to me either even though i was very open to experiences and people. i think my age had a lot to do with that.
Wow wow wow! I'm at a loss for words. This is such a powerful story of resiliency. You speak so well and have so much to say to help others who don't have a voice. So much love to you both.
Thanks for the podcast and for sharing. It was interesting to hear that and also very sad. I'm glad to hear that you left the cult. I hope that a time will come when there will be no more cults/religions! And that there will be equal rights for everyone regardless of age, gender, skin color, money, etc.!
And kudos to you for having the courage to say this.
Thank you, this guest is so wonderful. I just have to say that I believe in mental health and stand by it. However, I'm listening to this woman and what she said said here rang true for me as well. I had not been through what this lady endured. I just want love to envelope her and wash over her to help her heal. But she was right that not every therapist can deal with cult survivors. First, some of them have no clue what a cult is or what his on and then this person's stuff is so much more than. I'm not lessing anyone else's journey just OMG to this one.
I can totally relate to seeing your family pop up on tv and social media , etc.
Being from Texas you probably know my former family, Serena , they were local hero professional wrestlers. To this day I’ll be happily scrolling on fb and suddenly my late husband is staring back at me.
It’s the most surreal feeling, isn’t it?
Gosh! I’m a therapeutic horseback riding instructor!
Thank you for sharing your story and for being so brave. I have done the equestrian horse therapy. It was such an amazing experience. I would recommend this to anyone experiencing trauma past or present.
Very insightful, thanks for your bravery. I'm 30 and still finding my path out of a history of abuse
Its almost a miracle that Serena had the intuition to recognize that her environment was not safe and the fortitude to formulate an escape plan. Really an inspirational human. But it made me so sad to think how many children were subjected to this, who did not have the same instincts or resources to extricate themselves. And how do we know these practices are not continuing today, given the cult’s expertise at secrecy. This is horrible. Bless you for saving yourself Serena.
wow.......after all you have endured and survived......you are strong and thriving!!!!!!!!!!!!!thank you for sharing your inspiring story!
This has been incredibly inspiring thank you
So much unexpected and so much to consider.
It is common for people to tell others that they need help or to go to a therapist. But the truth is that it is very difficult to find a good therapist (i.e. one that helps you), especially if you live in a small conservative town. If you are lucky, they won't do any harm. Often because of insurance restrictions, a person needing help is shuffled off to someone with a medical degree to give medication, which is often only a bandage to hide the real issues.
Many of the people leaving cults try to be like Spock from Star Trek, that is, very rational and against anything spiritual. I was not expecting mention of trauma recovery, ayahuasca, equine therapy, walking, or art.
After trying traditional methods, if that doesn’t work, sometimes you gotta go deeper 😊
@@stephenfisher3721 love this
Yes, I disassociated from myself most of my young life. I don't even remember some of my children's young years. I was in survival mode into my 40's. I now live in the mountains of Oaxaca with my soulmate.
This a good example of how to deal with bad backgrounds...hopefully the person isnt abusive and use it to exploit you
What person?
Fascinating interview. Thank you .
How has this not been made into a movie? 😮 what an incredible story!
There have been a number of documentaries and fictionalized accounts.
Children of God (1994): a 63-minute documentary about the Padilla family is currently available for streaming as are others.
Wow this is the best interview I listened to on this podcast. This guest is an amazing person. Thank you so much for sharing your story and giving me hope in my life.
My oldest, Kid#1, graduated from St Edwards Uni in Austin right on Congress on the east side of the river in 2021. They also thought they’d go back to grad school for social work, and in the same way found out it was too triggering for them. StEds was such an ideal place for them, coming from a very rural era in Western NY, wanting to be in a city, but still wanting a smaller community. And OMG who knew a catholic uni would be so damn progressive & fully embrace a multicultural life style including giving major love to their LGBTQIA+ students. It really was the perfect blend of small town & city living for them.
There is Open Floor, Conscious Dance, 5Rhythms, ecstatic dancing, soul Motion
All are FREE MOVEMENT dancing without the club scene.
❤ so glad you’re safe and healing.
In the same vein as the body keeps the score, highly recommend the book “the deepest well” by Nadine Burke Harris, she’s a pediatrician who pioneered research into in the physiological effects of childhood trauma and toxic stress! (Also she narrates the audiobook herself and it’s great)
From Wikipedia:
Nadine Burke Harris (born October 5, 1975) is a Canadian-American
pediatrician who was the Surgeon General of California between 2019 and 2022; she is the first person appointed to that position.She is known for linking adverse childhood experiences and toxic stress with harmful effects to health later in life. Hailed as a pioneer in the treatment of toxic stress
You are obviously a prime example of having a “higher calling”. Your experience, strength, and ability to share your “story” is of such importance in “the great awaking”, being experienced by mankind, presently. Thank you for your assistance! P.S….you are so beautiful!!
Is sounds like Ricky was such a kind and selfless person. I don’t at all blame him for killing one of the monsters who abused him, but I really wished he hadn’t killed himself.
I really wish he’d gotten the help he needed. 😢
I don’t have words to explain how much admiration I have for Serena. Truly inspiring. And her ayahuasca story made me cry, what an amazing experience. Thank you C2C for having this platform for these badass people to share their stories
Serena, you are a Warrior Queen!! Sending my love for continued healing xxx
I heard Ron White, the comedian, talking about this with Joe Rogan. And he had an absolute amazing experience with it. But when he had told them that he was an alcoholic, they had told him that he had to be dry for I don't know if it was 2 weeks or 2 months.
Serena Kelley is unexpectedly articulate and unexpectedly projects an inner self-self confidence.
(Was that acquired over time and with great effort?
Perhaps her love of reading helped her to be articulate.)
Unlike with many other guests, I did not feel like joining her in a crying session. This is surprising since she was not in a religion that works for some and not others, but a real cult. No one today seriously claims that the Children of God was a bona fide religion during the years she was a member. I doubt the comment section will be filled with defenders of the Children of God. (Except perhaps for some lonely men who like the flirty fishing).
There is an overwhelming amount of information available about the Children of God, all of it horrifying. Serena could have saddened us with details of her life of begging and eating scraps of food and sickened us with graphic tales of abuse but she didn't.
I also find it interesting that unlike so many guests interviewed, she did not automatically and readily dismiss and hate everything about the cult and her years in it. Serena explicitly states that she learned some things that helped her or at least things that she was able to turn in her favor. I don't know if others would see this as objectively true but at least this reframing has made her stronger and healthier.
I try very much to avoid all black and white thinking, which means analyzing things a lot more and not dismissing something just because. It’s helped me have a much healthier, happier, and positive outlook on life :)
I read the book, "Not Without My Sisters," all about sisters in children of god's cult and their stories.
Serena's TH-cam channel says
*Serena travels the world but is based out of Austin, Texas".
I guess she either likes it there or simply wants some stability in her life. Maybe a little of both.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! You are a blessing to so many people! You have a special gift, Serena. Peace to you.
Thank you, and you too!
I took ballet lessons after a very traumatic cult like childhood .. I was an amazing experience.
Thank you to an amazing overcomer woman!
Shelise! It's time to start having supercuts of related survivors' stories to make little documentaries
I loved her perspective on partying, that helped heal some of my shame 😂
We’re here to eradicate shame in all areas of life! 😊
Have a question rather than comment. I am in therapy for prolonged trauma throughout life and we have started on healing my inner child which I am finding the most difficult so far. What books are out there that have helped people with this. I love reading and having the time doing so on my own.
I don't know of any books, but I recently heard about but haven't yet started working through DNMS (Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy. My counselor told me that once I work through that process EMDR should work for me, and is why it didn't when we first tried.
CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Best book I've ever read on Complex Trauma
@@SDesmond22 The best! I love that book, it's helped me so much!
The Body Keeps the Score, Childhood Disrupted, It Didn’t Start With You and Healing Developmental Trauma were all game changers for me.
Equin therapy saved me, it is really powerful.
How are her parents not doing life in prison, especially her mom? What they did, and encouraged others to do, is beyond sick. There are no words. They were adults when they went into the cult. They knew what they were doing was heinous. They don't deserve to be free.
There are statues of limitations. Also crimes committed in countries outside the United States are subject to different legal systems and are often very difficult to prosecute. Using different names and changing countries makes it all even more difficult.
Why does it remind me so much of Handmaid’s tale? 🥴