How A Narcissist Reacts To Your Silence

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
  • In this video, we explore the topic of how the narcissist responds to your silence. We discuss the powerful effects that silence can have on a narcissist and how it can be used as a tool to protect yourself from their manipulation. We also delve into the concept of the no contact rule and the silent treatment, and how they can be effective strategies for dealing with a narcissist. By understanding the narcissist and their response to silence, you can gain the upper hand in any situation and protect yourself from their toxic behavior.
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    *In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist

ความคิดเห็น • 261

  • @CommonEgo
    @CommonEgo  2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    *Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

  • @nezlover
    @nezlover ปีที่แล้ว +363

    I still miss the person that really never existed...but I am truly relieved to be free from them.

    • @fraukerl
      @fraukerl ปีที่แล้ว +36

      The qualities what you saw in this person and fell in love with are actually within you and needs to be nourished within you. Would recommend that you reflect on that and there is nothing to miss ;)

    • @NightOwlGames
      @NightOwlGames ปีที่แล้ว +19

      this is really hard its like dating Jekkle and Ms Hyde. you got the part you fell for and made you think it was your life long partner you dreamed of the future you would have together then theres the other side that manipulates you insults you never says sorry for making you feel bad and you wish had never met, but even after its over you want the one you fell for to come back, your feelings were true you cant just switch them feelings off and theres wasnt true they just used and abused us for their entertainment or whatever it is that makes them tick. hope none of us ever have to experience this again its mental torture! even 3 years later! its still doing my head in! WTF did we do to deserve such people in our lives? we deserve better!

    • @antoinegladney6523
      @antoinegladney6523 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I can relate 💯💯.

    • @busisiwemaryjanebuthelezi7786
      @busisiwemaryjanebuthelezi7786 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Me too I feel that way but I am free now

    • @liamoneil2254
      @liamoneil2254 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Couldn’t relate more

  • @wendydaniel1110
    @wendydaniel1110 ปีที่แล้ว +82

    When you realize the "price you pay" for going silent with the Narcissist is PEACE and happiness it's worth every minute..❤

    • @happyday3368
      @happyday3368 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Absolutely! The price I paid was peace, balance, happiness and the freedom to go and do with whomever whenever I wanted - without having that 'friend' trying to control my every move. GOD it feels good!

    • @natashaedwards9620
      @natashaedwards9620 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      YES

  • @lauriestarseed169
    @lauriestarseed169 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    In my experience, the assertion of boundaries with a narcissist is pointless. Best to go totally silent 🤫 👌 👏

    • @jaywinter2534
      @jaywinter2534 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks for the reassurance

    • @happyday3368
      @happyday3368 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      To them, boundaries are pointless - they just think your boundaries don't apply to them because they are 'special' therefore deserve preferential treatment.

    • @katharina...
      @katharina... 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is not always possible. If you are working for someone who is toxic, you can't just go totally silent. Until you have a new job lined up, assertion of boundaries is the only option.
      My utmost compassion goes to people who share children with such people. They can't go totally silent either. They have to find a way to communicate with the other person.

    • @yuu_miran
      @yuu_miran 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@katharina...agree but the problem is making your boundaries known is like giving them hints where to target you next because they ignore boundaries and do whatever time after time.

    • @katharina...
      @katharina... 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@yuu_miran I know this is not always easy, especially in a shared parenting situation. It's easier in a workplace though. I had a manager (still do for another couple of weeks) who kept saying different things to different people, and then denying she ever said it. I sent her a message, copying her manager, and requested for all our conversations to take place in writing from now on, with her manager copied, to avoid confusion. That was my boundary. Sure, she could have tried to call me, but I would have kept to my boundary and not answered her call.
      She then became completely ridiculous, and each time I made a tiny, insignificant typo, she would email me and copy her manager 😂 She probably had no idea that she really was exposing herself by doing this, instead of me. There were no serious issues with my work, so tiny little typos were all she had to report me on, which just made her look petty.

  • @alexismerrilldragonqueen6552
    @alexismerrilldragonqueen6552 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    The key after becoming silent is becoming indifferent to whatever the narcissist says or does. Who cares? They really FEEL that one, and you will get a hoover attempt around the time you start becoming indifferent, which is generally when you are well along the healing path and loving yourself.

  • @thelmarobinette6551
    @thelmarobinette6551 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    My silence is for me at this time. Trying to collect my own thoughts. It breaks my heart because I truely love him but I can’t keep breaking my heart over what he needs. It’s time for me for a while 💔

  • @kenyoung6666
    @kenyoung6666 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    My dad is the narcissist. Ever since I decided to completely be unbothered by his cheap emotional tricks and started to completely ignore his “victim” texts to gain praise/validation/sympathy, he got the picture and started giving me the silent treatment as well. However what he doesn’t know is that I’ve found my peace and I couldn’t give a rats ass by all the lies he tells ppl about me.
    In the end, “You reap what you sow”. This phrase is 100% true and even a narcissist doesn’t escape from its consequences.

  • @aflack1000
    @aflack1000 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    I hung up on my malignant narcissist brother 13 years ago and went no contact. He managed to turn his kids, grandkids, and just about any family member he could persuade to his side with lies. Do I care? Nope! It's been very peaceful...

    • @TasyausNorseman
      @TasyausNorseman ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ditto ✌️!

    • @utrnagel9441
      @utrnagel9441 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Blessings🤗💞

    • @GloriaSol
      @GloriaSol ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Bahaaaaa🤣 Same here but with my SIL! Last thing I told her, “I know how this goes, but let me make it clear that I love my niece and nephews, but I’ll miss them. Ultimately their no my kids so when they grow up, if they decide, I will always be here!” That was the last time I ever seen or spoke to them. Peace over everyone that are not our children❤️ Blessings to you

    • @aflack1000
      @aflack1000 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@GloriaSol My nieces and nephews were already grown when this happened. Not one of them bothered to pick up the phone to call me and ask what was happening. This, after an entire life time of gifts, letters, sponsoring a few Confirmations (at great travel expense to me), and being Godmother to the adopted niece. Really? Don't miss them either!

    • @wayneelliott1180
      @wayneelliott1180 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Learning to deal with the exclusion and delusion of the flying monkeys is a superpower.

  • @karlsmith2570
    @karlsmith2570 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    I'd give any narcissist the silent treatment because I simply refuse to put up with them

    • @angelakeely5859
      @angelakeely5859 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same here, if they walk in a room, I walk out.😏

    • @jackiegoodwin.3815
      @jackiegoodwin.3815 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Very selfish ppl...&RUDE
      No Compassion,

    • @InHonourOfChester
      @InHonourOfChester ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jackiegoodwin.3815 I totally agree with the rude and no compassion part, I have experienced it myself

    • @haitiqueen0119
      @haitiqueen0119 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wise move✅

  • @lemaxx2638
    @lemaxx2638 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    A narc doesnt care about the silence , he always find things to replace you. Set yourself free. Don't be slaves to demons

  • @JosephtheDreamer-h3r
    @JosephtheDreamer-h3r 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +47

    I've taken silence to a different level. They don't exist to me anymore.

  • @JeanLucPicard2023
    @JeanLucPicard2023 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I have experience faux crying and panic attacks to hoover me back in. Staying the course so far.

  • @davidparker5439
    @davidparker5439 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I am a 71 years old . Married to my narcissistic wife for 50 years . I did not know about this subject . The story I could tell you . I have decided after all this time to leave her . She bad for my mental health . Plus my body . my doctor told me just leave her it will not get any better .

    • @leegorringe5580
      @leegorringe5580 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Good for you 😍
      Go for it

    • @davidparker5439
      @davidparker5439 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks 👍

    • @Noname-oo9gn
      @Noname-oo9gn ปีที่แล้ว +6

      ❤️🙏Wish you peace and happiness may God bless you always x

    • @BabyMonkeyDefender
      @BabyMonkeyDefender ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Listen to your doctor, please.
      Just leave. You have life left and 50 years of unhappiness isn't what you deserve.
      There's things out there you need to do and enjoy. It's time to take that right for yourself!
      I wish you the best and most positive outcome. I wish I could help. But, I feel you've got this 👍

    • @happyday3368
      @happyday3368 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Your Dr. is right. Narcs just get worse as they age - they don't have the capacity to change.

  • @jeanettewright5077
    @jeanettewright5077 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This is wer I am.
    I'm protecting myself an I feel stronger than ever.
    Thanku

  • @anitaallen3163
    @anitaallen3163 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    The best revenge is them not having access to you anymore😊

  • @eazyc404
    @eazyc404 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    these people are vampires. they legit suck all the energy/ spirit out of you and just leave. leave you there feeling like a shell while they use your energy to go bounce right on to the next victim.

  • @akosh1976
    @akosh1976 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    yeah I was getting upset and angry when she triggered me almost every day....unfortunately I didn't know she was doing it on purpose and I shouldn't even listen...I cared too much and wanted to make the relationship work that never even existed for her....well at least Im healing now and learned from this

    • @linnie14
      @linnie14 หลายเดือนก่อน

      🤗

  • @starletd.1673
    @starletd.1673 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Oh my gosh, that’s exactly what is going on. I’ve even lost clients over his lies.

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sorry to hear that 🙏❤️

  • @starletd.1673
    @starletd.1673 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Oh that is he favorite move. But thankfully I am out of it. Sadly it’s a family member who lives on the same street. But I finally have healed from a lifetime of his actions & I don’t feel anything toward this person now. It’s just another human being driving down the road.

    • @CommonEgo
      @CommonEgo  ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That’s a great place to be… and unbothered 🙏❤️

  • @thegates
    @thegates ปีที่แล้ว +13

    This video is a complete rundown of what is happening to me right now!! Thank you for sharing this information; you are doing vicitms of narcissistic abuse a huge favor by explaining this 👏

  • @UFRooster
    @UFRooster 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Omg it drives my new boss crazy!!!!! I love every minute.

  • @craigmerkey8518
    @craigmerkey8518 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is so so true and kind of sad really! In my line of work of behavior management we call this strategy extinction. Since my special family members have been on extinction for decades, the gaps are magically filled in with immature gossip and projections in conversations with people I don't know and will never meet. The to need flex their superiority and further their victim appropriation knows no bounds. Once you grasp how validation seeking impacts you, there is no going back.

  • @runexscapexBotz
    @runexscapexBotz ปีที่แล้ว +5

    1)Asked me to marry her,
    2)Dumped me 1 week later
    3)Angry texts (all my fault)
    4)New relationship with “a friend”
    5) angry texts but said I still love you irl. I didn’t want her back.
    6) blocked
    7) 6 weeks later : unblocked
    8) 10 days later (less or more): new profile pics
    9 6 weeks after unblock (+/-): blocked again.
    10) repeat 7&9
    11) old friends start texting strange from out of the blue.
    With strange long texts..
    Still NC from point 5.
    Getting my strong self back after 1 year.
    Body , mind and soul.

  • @izawaniek2568
    @izawaniek2568 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Thank you Christina for great tips on how to release ourselves from the narcisists’ grip. Silence works miracles❤

  • @Rosecomments
    @Rosecomments ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Temporary? A snake only sheds it’s skin to become a bigger snake. If you break no contact they will finish what they started!

    • @carpathianken
      @carpathianken ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's not always possible or practical to go no contact permanently , that's why people get good results from the grey rock method during any future necessary contact with the narcissist

    • @charnitamccarty9870
      @charnitamccarty9870 ปีที่แล้ว

      So true !😮

  • @maximus4765
    @maximus4765 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I don't think anyone would respond well to being ignored but smearing their reputation really goes above and beyond

  • @Shontise_Shonie
    @Shontise_Shonie 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’m so glad that we have a huge community that knows all about these monsters.

  • @reginakoshy603
    @reginakoshy603 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This video is so important. I have been scapegoated by my sister my entire life - then she began to insult and threaten my 4 and 7 year old children (threatened to throw my son off a cliff). I cut off ties with my sister after that conversation. She isn’t sorry and has of course made her accusations and threats against my children as somehow being my fault.

  • @JosephtheDreamer-h3r
    @JosephtheDreamer-h3r 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I'll take the smear campaign instead of having anything to do with them . I'm ok being a villain to a narcissist.

  • @DavidTower-Frasier
    @DavidTower-Frasier 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There is solace in silence. I prefer the peace of solitude over the madness of chaos. 🎉❤

  • @janiebutterfly5251
    @janiebutterfly5251 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Absolutely AMAZING thank you soooo much you are helping me more than you will ever know that's what I'm going through atm I'm crying listening to this He lives next door and is pushing other women onto me laughing drinking joking in front of me😢😢😢what do I do 😢😢😢

    • @lindarusch9660
      @lindarusch9660 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are crying for someone who is cruel . Is this the kind of man you want? I bet not. You are crying for what could have been but never was. Been there.

    • @estra3528
      @estra3528 ปีที่แล้ว

      Be glad hè has other victims, so you can heal or move on. Laugh at them. You were in love with his mask, someone that doesnt exist. She him as the Devil ,who is bringing you in trouble and could not love you. Move to another place is the best thing.

  • @jc-rt9jc
    @jc-rt9jc ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My ex husband started telling everyone I cheated, never took the marriage seriously and that I was the narcissist. My therapist warned me about this though. I’m even his topic on his podcast that he suffered narcissistic abuse. I’m so glad I finally left him.

  • @No-xs1no
    @No-xs1no ปีที่แล้ว +6

    If you ignore a narc at work, they will start to bully you (even more). It's better to go gray rock or yellow rock until you can get away or they get bored of you. It can work in other relationships, too.

  • @amandamillington8308
    @amandamillington8308 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I have just gone silent with my daughter one of the hardest things iv had to do.
    I walk on eggshells with her and fear her If I say no to her.
    If I say no to wants me to do she's flips out on me and tells me I'm stupid pathetic and she will not put up with my behavior.
    Then goes on into a rage of attack even throws things at me telling me how I never listen and that is my problem I don't listen to anything!
    She puts me down about anything and everything I end up standing there crying and shaking not saying one word back to her whilst she continues to belittle me.
    When I hear her car pull up at my home I feel so sick and fear her telling me off if I say something that she doesn't like so I try to say as little as possible.
    A week ago she called me and did not ask me she told me I must be at her house by 2pm until 10pm as she is working and i will be looking after my 13yr old grandson, I replied by saying um I'm going to be busy till around 6;30pm as I look after my 80yr old uncle and could my grandson come stay here with me till then and i will take him back home and stay with him till you get home at 10pm as we only live 2 streets away from each other.
    Well that was the worst thing I could of asked as she then went into a screaming rage at me on the phone telling me how wrong and pathetic I am and if I continue this behaviour she will cut me off and not let me see my grandson there was so much hate in her voice I was a mess I couldn't get a word in as she was screa5so loud at me. I then tried to say fine I'm not going to be put through this as your really hurting me and she heard that and screamed stop playing the victim and all kinds of degrading things to me. I simply couldn't think and decided to just hang up on her as I was a mess. That then was followed by loads of texts telling me I'm a horrible person and she will not put up with my behaviour and that I don't listen and that is my problem so until I start to listen she will have nothing to do with me and iv got myself to blame for that. She wrote in capital letters that I play the victim! All I said was yes I would look after him but he could come here till I'd cooked dinner for my 80yr old uncle and lite the fire for him. I didn't see how that made me a pathetic victim.
    It's now been a week and she has not called or messaged me as usually I call her and beg for her forgiveness but this time I haven't and i have decided not to.
    It hurts me but my doctor has told me to stop saying yes to her demands so I am trying so hard to not fall into the same pattern.
    She is asking her sister questions about me what im doing who im talking to and all kinds of things she needs to know if iv said anything to anyone as I play the victim. My other daughter has said to her to leave her out of it and treat mum properly which was the wrong thing to say to her as she got very abusive back to her. This is the first time iv not given into her demands she's 32yrs old and i feel terrible but at the same time I feel relief and want her in my life but not in the same pattern so I'm sticking it out and not saying sorry for something I didn't do wrong as hard as it is I know I needs to do this for my own health and sanity. Thank you for making these videos as they are helping me understand im ok saying no and believing im not a bad person if I say no. Love from Perth Australia 💜💕❤🐨🦘

  • @frankmc4294
    @frankmc4294 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    On the one hand I would love it for my partner to move on to someone else, leave me alone and let me get on with what I want to do with the rest of my life. On the other hand I would be feeling sorry for the new target, not wishing on that person what I have been subjected to for the last 40 plus years !!
    It's only recently that I have come to my senses and am starting to fight back !!

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you Christina you have no idea how much you have helped me over the past year listening to your articles you just have no idea. I don’t know if she’s a narcissist I don’t care, but she has too many of the traits and overstepped my boundaries. I am moving on end of story. I have blocked her if I receive anything in the mail, I am returning it without opening it.

  • @AlanDyall-b6g
    @AlanDyall-b6g ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I am 86 years old. (I hope Christina can read this.) I accidentally found out (TH-cam) in May last year, 2022. I have been married to a Narcissist person for over 6o years. I exposed her in front of our three children in June. My daughter took her away for a holiday for 4 months. TO CUT A LONG STORY SHORT. Because of my age and financial situation, I need her as much as she needs me. I am forced to live with her. Like your video, I do not speak to her unless it is about us. I do not argue with her. I tell her.” I cannot argue with you because you are always right.” She is very unhappy, and I do not care. I am under attack all the time. My family have turned against me because “how can I be so nasty to her after all the years.” Psychiatrists and Psychologists in Australia do not seem to recognize Narcissism. Even my GP of 40 years takes her side.

    • @VancouverIslandHippieChick
      @VancouverIslandHippieChick ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Very sorry to hear this.
      Hopefully over time, it will get easier.
      One of my children & wow! The stories! Yikes

  • @earlinesblack1361
    @earlinesblack1361 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve been silent 🤫 for years and counting he tries to make me talk but I grunt or totally ignore,teaching him a lesson that he tried on me and mine is working,he’s blocked on everything that I communicate on and I mean everything, I leave and go on vacations with my daughters and families because of all the things that he has done no one wants him around and we enjoy our time together, we can leave our purses 👛 around and food 🥘 and no one is afraid of losing their money or food and thank you for your content so good to know

  • @kirank7957
    @kirank7957 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My coworker is narcissistic girl (divorced) she lives in a fantastic world and exactly she is using narcissistic cycle and iam totally confused about her and she told me she have a problem with anxiety issues, but when I search in google it is not anxiety issues it is NPD. Time God I came to know the truth. Present iam giving silent treatment, blocked no. Maximum trying to avoid.. Hope things will good for me and getting my life back. Every day she use to fight and argue for unnecessary things. Even I lost peace ever day. It was happening daily, really iam fedup with her. By seeing few video/searching in google I got a concussion that how I need to avoid that girl.

  • @conniecharley5013
    @conniecharley5013 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am distance and no phone calls too much degrading me so I have peace from that but constantly worry what is happening behind my back.. Family member ever treated me in abusive way until they moved in when eviction big mistake big mistake. My heart hearts so much. I love and adored this family member.

  • @yathome5596
    @yathome5596 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have been 14 years no contact with my ex Narc because although I broke up with him civilly (he had already met someone else ), I asked him to not call me anymore as it was disrespectful to his new girl and he continued anyway. When I stopped responding he ramped up the calls with leaving taunting messages. I broke my no contact rule only once when I text him asking him to delete my number out of his phone. I did not hear from him again, until 3 weeks ago!

  • @GloriaSol
    @GloriaSol ปีที่แล้ว +4

    And I over here wishing, praying, and hoping that my ex finds new supply🙏🏼 I just want him to leave me ALONEEEEEE!

    • @nataliebaughman8780
      @nataliebaughman8780 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I prayed my ex would find new supply. He did, and we haven't talked in 30 years- Woohoo !

  • @TasyausNorseman
    @TasyausNorseman ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yass ❤! Your silence 🤫 speaks volumes 🗣️ ..

  • @starletd.1673
    @starletd.1673 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Yes it is.

  • @rileysmiley9585
    @rileysmiley9585 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for your perspective on such a daunting topic. You are very intelligent and cool to me.🏄🏽‍♀️🌊🌅

  • @zoukchata
    @zoukchata ปีที่แล้ว

    Goodnesss... this is so accurate. Please keep making these videos........ im in a relationship now, and its so hard to get out because of these hoover tactics... i didnt even realize this....

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Again, I thank you so so much

  • @michaelrich6334
    @michaelrich6334 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yeah I learned hard way ...40 years......and sad part of my experience......my life is was played .. nothing is real....what a mind job eh ..thank you I glad people like you see it.. you're right we are not alone

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I ignored my therapist early on when she told me this person was toxic

  • @christinahavel4081
    @christinahavel4081 ปีที่แล้ว

    Still dealing with my narcissist. She is my mom. I have commented that I am still here with her. She is older, and more...delusional. She is not seeing something in a certain way, when someone tells her something that contradicts her viewpoint. She is hard to deal with, because I am being sucked back into her web. Like @nezlover said, and I totally agree: I miss the person she never was. The glasses fell off when I was a kid, and I knew what she was from a young age.
    I am going to try this. I know what I can accomplish without her. I know I don't need her to live. She has been the toxic constant in my life.

  • @andrewstewart9063
    @andrewstewart9063 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I changed the default ring tone just for my very low contact narc to Krusty The Clown 🤡 It's always a laugh when he calls! I let my phone go to VM and I don't get back to him.

  • @Dazz3881
    @Dazz3881 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you.. Much Respect.

  • @saraht963
    @saraht963 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    How do we deal with a narcissistic father when they try to humiliate us in front of relatives or in public?

    • @jamesrutter4100
      @jamesrutter4100 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Don't spend ANY time with him. He will continue to do all these things, to subjugate you and make you "obedient". ABUSE IS ABUSE . GET A RECORD OF IT. DOCUMENT GET EVIDENCE

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I just wanna know how to avoid an individual like that ever again. I lost my partner of 31 years and every night I’m crawling myself to sleep. This can be a very cruel world to live in when you have lost your total trust and Security.

  • @BinionCrafts
    @BinionCrafts ปีที่แล้ว +2

    How long does it take their “flying monkeys” that they turned against you to realize it was lies? Will it even happen? 😢

  • @intheknowatlanta9751
    @intheknowatlanta9751 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This is a good video.

  • @romansepiol
    @romansepiol 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤️

  • @RandolphTheWhite1
    @RandolphTheWhite1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Narcissists are foul NASTY creatures. Like, damn!

  • @dianat.6426
    @dianat.6426 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    what everyone needs to know is that they smear you anyway. Silence or not. It's preparation for the inevitable discard. there is no way around it, it's just a basic in their playbook always.

  • @HitherandYarn
    @HitherandYarn ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What if the narc is your own son? Is there any hope for the relationship? His father is a narc. Do kids "pick" this up or does the narc teach them? Guilt trips and then kindnesses are my son's methods. Fortunately, he doesn't live near me anymore because when he gets mad he gets violent.

  • @MrNatural73
    @MrNatural73 ปีที่แล้ว

    100% on hovering. 👍👍

  • @YS-js8em
    @YS-js8em ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hello. Thank you for this video. I want to know what if a narcissistic ignores you with silence? How to deal with this? My brother married a narcissistic person and she cut me off from their life. I tried to reach out for my brother and every time I try to call him he simply ignores my messages and emails and he blocked me from calls. I stopped calling him now and it's been many years but I am not healing. It is hurting me every day.

  • @David-ho6mu
    @David-ho6mu ปีที่แล้ว +1

    After 27 years of marriage - these descriptions are frighteningly real. The kids think I’m the bad guy, our friends (and I say “our” - because they are all “her” friends now - mine were discarded decades ago), and she has caused me to think I’m the fault for career and money problems. Meanwhile she’s had cosmetic surgery, clothes, holidays (without me), butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. No sex (that has always been used to bargain - and frequently withdrawn) so I have started looking elsewhere. That fills me with fear, because if she finds out - that will justify to her that I am the bad guy and the kids wont speak to me again. I’m the one who “needs” mental help. She refuses counselling, including marriage counselling. I apparently “need” “constant” validation, and she is “afraid” of raising issues with me - because my anger “scares” her - and yet it is she who flies into rage. I do too now - out of pure frustration at how twisted and selective her memory is. So - my “rage” has become the problem. One of her oldest friends - a Phd Counsellor - apparently agrees with her. I am a sad, angry man who “needs to change”. But her childhood was not great - a controlling and manipulative mother who’s love was very conditional on good behaviour and full of shame. Strict religious moral outrage and shame. Any natural instincts I have (or she has for that matter) seem to paralyse her with shame. She has multiple organisms (when we occasionally “are allowed” to have sex) which fill her with embarrassment. I actually see a miserable person who is so busy trying to control me, she has no time to come to terms with her own daemons. I would like to stay with her to help…. How possible is it to get a breakthrough and get her to make progress???

    • @utrnagel9441
      @utrnagel9441 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No way!

    • @stephthecreative6312
      @stephthecreative6312 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It is definitely possible to have your marriage restored. You will need to look to GOD for guidance. Even if she chooses to leave, you at least will be on a new and better path.

    • @williamhammond9235
      @williamhammond9235 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg , you’re dreaming

    • @David-ho6mu
      @David-ho6mu ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@stephthecreative6312 she won’t leave - she’s onto a good thing with me. The question now is if I have the energy to bother trying anymore. Since I have been giving less concern to her, she says I have been treating her so bad….

    • @utrnagel9441
      @utrnagel9441 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mentally and physically you can get sick, maybe you do your own Therapie, to get you on a better position! Wish you all the best!

  • @ladyvirgo013
    @ladyvirgo013 ปีที่แล้ว

    My husband ghosted me, 12 year marriage. I was the one trying to reach out to him, it made me feel like the Narcissist. I've not reached out to him for 10 days.
    I'm in a very rough spot but im trying

  • @chrisfernandes3730
    @chrisfernandes3730 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Your hair is so pretty. Lol

  • @wanderworld20234
    @wanderworld20234 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The narc is in New supply, its seems doesn't bother my silence.

  • @cathysunshine5790
    @cathysunshine5790 ปีที่แล้ว

    I went silent 3 weeks ago. He did all stupid things to get my attention but it didn’t work.

  • @ChipJam
    @ChipJam 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    A classic narcissist faux-pology is when they just say the word ‘sorry’ and try to leave it at that.

  • @devinp6617
    @devinp6617 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I went silent and she attacked me

  • @MrBluedude33
    @MrBluedude33 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    i m still with my narc wife, she is constantly wants the attention on her as she preaches to everyone that she does everything on her own at home. which is not the case once im home from a long day at work i do alot. i got over validating her fragile ego ages ago and i give very short answers to her listing all the things she did, she then saids to me i seem like i dont appreciate her and what she does. its funny as i do quite a lot at home, with our kids ect on top of working full time but i never get a thank you or anything from her ever. not that i want validation as i know my own worth and what i actually do for our family. i end up getting a 20 page lecture on how she is effected by everything and she is tired. i fell like saying to her she isnt the only one tired and that every other pserson that is a normal functioning adult does exactly what you do without being negative to the world around them, not only that they dont treat people like crap if they have a bad day, especially to their own kids.

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว

    She can bring it because she’s never seen me react back, but I can be downright horrid, I don’t want to be I’ll try my best not to be, but she crossed over my boundary this time

  • @carolporter7094
    @carolporter7094 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My boyfriend is constantly criticizing every single thing I say or do I say things back sometimes sometimes I just ignore him. We not talking for a couple days and then he’s nice to me again why are you doing this? Why you do that he’s a Virgo and Virgos are number one we’ve been together 7 1/2 years, I just don’t know how much more I can take. I actually really love it when he goes to work because he goes back to his hometown to work because he wouldn’t work in my town. I think there’s reasons for that his mommy lives up there and he’s a mommy‘s boy he needs validation from her constantly emotional petting. It never says anything wrong about her and this woman is a horrendous troublemaker she’s caused problems for a lot of people she controls everyone up there. She can’t control me. She tries and I tell her and then don’t say anything and then she’ll let it go for a week maybe we and a half And then ask me some simple stupid question. I think that’s just to break the barrier but yeah she’s a cancer and they’re both narcissist. He apparently think she’s the most perfect thing on the face of the Earth and what a terrible thing when she does pass away, she’s gonna be 81 in July and she’s not healthy at all. Nothing good about it, I absolutely cannot stand this woman. I thought that I loved him and then he moved me. I didn’t even ask him to move in with me during Covid. He said mom said I couldn’t stay there after a few weeks of being with me during Covid. I asked her and she said she did not ever say that her boyfriend said it, they will always blame it on someone else. Narcissist blame any problem in life on someone else rather than blame it on themselves or take responsibility for anything she will make people things buy things so she can control them so she can say oh I bought you this I did this. I did that and I say if with capital IF you happen to go against her in anyway she’ll throw the stuff back in your face and he does the same thing anything that he does for Me, he will throw it in my face as I go. I’ve caught him several times on dating sites. I even took a picture of one. He lied about it right in front of me. I showed it to him showed the picture to him. He said you know that’s fake because look at it. It says I’m 35. How stupid is thatpeople might say then that means he put in it that he was 35 years old unreal

  • @dawnhandelman308
    @dawnhandelman308 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    PEACE ☮️

  • @sarahwagland1559
    @sarahwagland1559 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    We've not only gone silent on our covert narc neighbour and her flying monkey husband who have been delighting in preventing us from selling our house, but everyone else in the lane who are a part of the problem with their insatiable appetite for gossip. It doesn't matter how many times you explain that they are deliberately stopping us from selling our house, most people don't care and find the conflict amusing. Two of the worst culprits don't even live in the lane. They make out they're Mr Nice Guy and think it's all to do with a bunch of women of a certain age, all the time helping to keep the pot simmering. When you confront them they get angry and want to shut you down or they make out that they're blameless and you need to cool down. I've come to the conclusion that most people have boring lives and can only get their kicks from watching others suffer. One day we'll be able to sell our house. We have had to go down the legal route as trying to communicate with our neighbours has been impossible and just a perverted game to her or it as we now refer to it 😄

  • @rosss5179
    @rosss5179 ปีที่แล้ว

    But I still want to save them, they did not ask for this trauma from childhood, morever they have opened sometimes showing what happened but refuse to talk, sometimes they speak out loud what they are thinking about real emotion, and desire, but do not realize they speak out loud and I hear, that's painful.
    I gave my love honor and trust, forever, so I am just now me....
    Alone

  • @karliann1
    @karliann1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's my daughter and her cohorts! Moved changed my number but she got thru by email. I still didn't reply but she's praying Jesus opens my heart(after years of abuse)😂 I Will not reply

  • @staciemarkham3656
    @staciemarkham3656 9 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I will be silent. But first I ruined his phone by spending an entire day signing him up for car warranties home warranties investment kits...I mean hundreds of them. Hope he has fun with that. He will never hear from me again...but he sire will be getting tons of spam texts and calls

  • @markh4926
    @markh4926 ปีที่แล้ว

    There are 4 people who have attacked me in my AA groups. I'm very sure two of the girls are narcs, the others I think are just jealous a wholes. The smear campaign has been going on for over a year and the two chicks are very effective at their work. I no longer have any male or female friends in AA except when I leave and go to ZOOM meetings. I can have very good times with people but no longer any AA people in my area.
    To damage...One of those narcs just spent 9 months in India and her girlfriend told me she's bringing an Indian husband home to CA. This will be fun to watch, I give them 1 year. Another narc married an AA girl and I gave them 6 months, she caught him cheating after three months. WOW! Those people are deadly.

  • @mariosanchez-sj9yv
    @mariosanchez-sj9yv ปีที่แล้ว

    4 years has gone by there's a crazy woman that still calls me....

  • @ShadowKing1993
    @ShadowKing1993 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Oh she had the smear campaign after I caught on to her pattern and ended the "connection". But I no longer care. Didn't really care for the people anyway. I gave no reaction. Then she started stalking me. That's when I had to move 😂

  • @karenm-jp6it
    @karenm-jp6it ปีที่แล้ว +2

    SILENCE PLEASE !!!

  • @silverlaptop2022
    @silverlaptop2022 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Like 10:19 🙏

  • @lovegun2112
    @lovegun2112 ปีที่แล้ว

    The fake apologies are rampant with my wife ....

  • @keithrodgers1030
    @keithrodgers1030 ปีที่แล้ว

    One of the benefits of being a Sigma male you can spot manipulation from a mile away. 8 months after getting rid of a narcissist partner/boss it has been pure heaven. You will never change a narcissist you are wasting your time.
    Just leave the madness behind.

  • @Someoneoutthere67
    @Someoneoutthere67 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am not gonna threaten that is not me. I am not going to stoop so low is to say some of the things to her that she has said to me I am just going to put 1 foot in front the other, and chalk it up to experience.

  • @Craigdna
    @Craigdna ปีที่แล้ว

    I get increasingly frustrated and irritated at the phrases “Have a Heart”, You Have My Heartfelt Condolences”, and “My Heart Goes Out To You”, when we acknowledge empathy. Empathy occurs in the prefrontal cortex, not the heart. So the best way for us to advocate learning about our brains is through empathy, and everyone thinks it resides in the heart, and we keep saying it over and over and over again. When we do not remember something, we say “I Had a Brain Fart” and we blame the brain. But we never give it credit for all of the abilities it provides us with. Narcissism is a seriously dysfunctional prefrontal cortex, and so since we emotionally describe their lack of empathy as being heartless. The ability to feel and express our emotions comes from the prefrontal cortex, however, narcissists are very emotionless, and we say they have a calloused heart. In order for us to understand narcissism, we must put the brain first, and leave our emotions aside, and we are not doing this. Empathy is the best way to promote learning more about the brain, and people literally, think it comes from the heart. They probably think the prefrontal cortex is some kind of storm front that comes from the Antarctic. Where are our priorities, in science, or the emotionality of our projections.

  • @michaeljackson8857
    @michaeljackson8857 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The weird thing to this is that my husband has always been silent. No matter what i have been told from others hes still silent. Isnt this abuse that they do not give you the respect to talk about issues that arise. He has always denied then blamed me for trying to discuss things. This makes me the bad person though. So where do we draw the line between trying to discuss things and they go silent to the point it hurts so bad that they run rings around you. Nothing you say helps and is also turned around so its your fault. I have started the last few years to follow his silence. However this is when he has pushed the anti me campaign and it has pushed him further away and multiplied his abuse. Im a simple person. I say what i mean but it hurts as i love him even now. Now because i have given him silence he hates me even more.

  • @loribagley2922
    @loribagley2922 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I still miss him . I can’t believe this is happening! But I finally caught him. I’m definitely having a hard time knowing he really didn’t care! Biggest lier cheat , bad man ! My intuition tells me he is even worse than I can or want to imagine. I feel crazy and want him exposed 3 x wife’s he is a pilot. Always somewhere with plenty of supply another phone. He knows he was found out still trying to lie. And said I was going to loose him with my accusations! Wtf you lost me ! He hasn’t even tried to get a hold of me. He has been flying around where all the young bikini are! Pulling his sunglasses down to stare at ass!n web dilies and blaming me! lol unbelievable I’m in shock!in other cities. My stomach is jsick!

  • @alleveddet118
    @alleveddet118 ปีที่แล้ว

    Stop 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️✋️

  • @ceyciemateo9411
    @ceyciemateo9411 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Stop filming camera

  • @עדיאלון-ש3ס
    @עדיאלון-ש3ס ปีที่แล้ว

    YOU SHOULD LEARN FROM THOSE THAT ARE BETTER THAN YOU
    MEDICOLEGAAL LIBRARY
    PSYCHIATRY
    LAW AND ETHICS
    A. CARMI S. SCHNEIDER ALBERT HEFEZ
    SPRINGER -VERLAG
    BERLIN HEIDELBERG NEW YORK TOKYO

  • @chinhphan4787
    @chinhphan4787 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    They will call you the Narcissist. 😂 Told them I'm not invalidating their emotions or feelings, I'm just indifferent. Then they went off on accusations and blaming.

  • @leonhudson7469
    @leonhudson7469 ปีที่แล้ว

    Im married love my wife. I done wrong I'm my marriage. You treat people like we are trash. So I want change and it is a mind set on how you act. I don't need anyone one at all. I want help and want better for myself and make my marriage work.i love her whole hearted. I'm will to give life for her. I don't need anyone's validation I'm now my worth. I am done with love and relationships. I can never be loved. Don't need love after she goes.

  • @cardiox5051
    @cardiox5051 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Like, who dont dont need validation? Who does not want to feel important or good enough around people… it is wierd that she is making social needs into a sickness

  • @cardiox5051
    @cardiox5051 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Its kinda ironic that this woman dont realize how narcissistic it is to talk down at 80% of people in this world when she is displaying the same behavior😂

  • @leonhudson7469
    @leonhudson7469 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don't want anyone one else
    I do value my wife

  • @hughiecarins-og4js
    @hughiecarins-og4js 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Get to the point in your videos

  • @jvalencialifecoaching
    @jvalencialifecoaching ปีที่แล้ว +112

    When you go silent yes, the smear campaign is intense.

    • @JasonD81
      @JasonD81 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Nothing new

  • @wayneelliott1180
    @wayneelliott1180 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    "You are not alone dealing with the narc treatment." This is important to remember. Your narc didn't start this shit because you came along - they've been dong it to others lifelong, and will have a trail of victims. They don't change, they sharpen their knives.

    • @happyday3368
      @happyday3368 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Exactly! It's a way of life for them - they are childish and VERY one dimensional. They don't change - they just get worse as they age.

  • @EstherH85
    @EstherH85 ปีที่แล้ว +203

    “If someone is trying to bring you down, it’s ok to distance yourself from them”
    Needed to hear this

    • @sine8811
      @sine8811 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      How can you tell the difference between someone who is offering you a genuine criticism vs someone who is making stuff up just to manipulate you?

    • @rturney6376
      @rturney6376 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@sine8811 Great 👍 question. Learn to trust your intuition. It is really about you feeling good 😊in your own body. Be with people who lift you up not pull you down. ❤
      ❤🙏🌻🌈😘

    • @sine8811
      @sine8811 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@rturney6376 What if you're severely co-dependent and your intuition leads you to more abusive people?

    • @EstherH85
      @EstherH85 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@sine8811 genuine criticism is truth, manipulation doesn’t line up with reality

    • @mariojanaf5474
      @mariojanaf5474 ปีที่แล้ว

      I use a knife, machete, sword, and katana to distance them from me....
      Yes, mentally... You get close again - you ass get hurt..
      And after all this you get butthurt...so give up...