I inadvertently say things that people find funny. I don't mean them to be funny, but I sometimes pretend like I do because it feels awkward otherwise.
That happens to me all the time! I guess it's okay because people find me entertaining(?) for being "blunt" or "savage", but I'm literally just making observations about situations...
That used to happen to me quite a lot when I was younger, but I ended up learning why certain things are funny and now I can make jokes that people usually enjoy. I cannot explain why, but I somehow managed to learn this skill.
I so relate!... As a child, when I wasn't trying to be funny, people thought it was a hilarious joke, and when I tried to say something funny, they said it wasn't funny.
I was able to mask a lot of things even from myself. The one thing I've needed all along was alone time in a separate area of the house at the end of the day or when I was feeling really stressed. I feel like there's a range of emotions I go through if I'm interrupted - sadness, fear, anger, etc. It should be noted that a lot of the traits may be internalized from conditioning from the outside world. I'm rediscovering many things now that I was told or implied not to do that feel natural to me. If you think you are autistic, the online tests are some of the same ones done in the clinic. Take those as honestly as you can at different times and if you score high then there's a good chance you probably are. I know I have the luxury of a diagnosis and I feel for everyone that's unable to get tested. If you feel like you are then don't let people tell you you aren't.
I have so many of these, but no money to see a doctor. But I have it for sure after this vid. Ty so much. 😢😢😢😢 I also have tourette syndrome. And major ocd... 😢😢😢
I was diagnosed in September at the age of 40. I realize I was autistic about 3 years ago after my daughter was diagnosed. Before that I had NO clue I had autism. I knew something was “wrong” with me but I didn’t know what. I said yes to most of your list. I’m old and finally know what’s “wrong” with me. I’m glad I got a diagnosis.
@@AurorasWindow you guys are not old, I've never been diagnosed, but score high on the tests online and said yes to most of this video. I'm 61, back in the 60's I was called "shy". I am going to see my dr about getting tested. it can take months or even years here. Everything makes sense though and I now catch myself when I'm obsessing over something. (not everyone feeds their dog raw even though it's the best diet for them. :) one of my obsessions.) I have stims but wasn't aware that they weren't normal. I twirl my hair constantly and sit on my hands to stop myself. now I don't care.
My traits are my traits; assigning them a label makes no material difference. I like that I understand how I think. I don't need other people to understand.
😯The point about talking always brings up a specific memory for me! Back in elementary school kids would ask me all the time "why do you talk like that?""you kinda talk like a robot". Instead of feeling sad or offended by it, I took it kind of literally and thought of myself as some poor cyborg haha. It's a cute bittersweet memory. Now random strangers frequently tell me I have a "teacher voice", but I also take this as a compliment. It's very helpful in customer service situations 😉
I've always had a distinctive voice. When I was younger my voice made me sound younger than how old i'm actually am and spoke with an accent that I don't know what it is, and people say my voice is soft. Right now I'm 13 and my voice is a little deeper, but still my voice is high but not to the point it made me sound younger than I'm actually am, and it's to a 13 year old. And, also for some reason my voice cracks despite being a girl.
@@daisyteto877 That's interesting because I just turned 30 and when I speak on the phone, people are confused because I still sound like I'm 13. And I already hate talking on the phone so much😅 But again, apparently it's an okay voice for calming down upset customers so... sometimes it's not so bad
After I got diagnosed I had le big imposter syndrome bc of how hard I had to mask (I come from a POC immigrant family and social expectations where heavily reinforced for like safety and class mobility) but it kinda hit me when I realized I DONT KNOW ANYONE's EYE COLOUR LIKE AT ALL (my partner asked to see if i had green in mine too and I stopped breathing from eye contact lol)
@Zoe Collette OMG thank you for the note at the end; Im not super sure but other people would always remember mine (esp with friends Im high school and then later on with partners more so ) and i would never know or get it wrong but remember everything else about there face etc and notice things like little scratches or a hair trim or a new shave but didn’t could never remember the eye colour or would get it wrong frequently
@Zoe Collette aha same!! that’s so funny cause I remember drawing my first partner and having to look through their instagram to figure out their eye colour but it was a really good way to process eye contact w them in a titrated way
I've been wanting to bring this up with my partner for a long time who I and many others, believe is autistic. Problem is, he's hitting 40, and does a very good job of masking his "flaws" (not flaws but can't think of a word rn) as him just being superior to others. We aren't in a good place in our relationship because of his constant stonewalling either so I don't think he would take me bringing this up in a good way or even consider it. Even if our relationship ends, I still want to help him...but I don't think it would change anything
Well over half of these directly apply to me & I think several more "don't" because I recognized them as abnormal years ago & tried to alter the way I do them to seem more normal.
As a kid... and still... I've always HATED sunblock or lotion. Not only does it smell, but it makes your skin sticky for like 5 hours, AND it makes it so that the wind (Breeze or even just moving) chills your skin! It's horrible. I have no idea how people just wear that like every day for some people. I'm certain you get used to it, but I don't know that I ever could. Anything besides the spray-on stuff, even as a 32yr old, is almost unbearable for me. I have to have my wife put the spray on me even because it's so hard to just willingly do it myself.
Check out you tube cosmetic reviews, there are many different ones that do comparisons and which go into great detail. There are different formulations that you may personally find more comfortable. A review may point you in a direction that will save money and waste.
Omg YES I hate sunscreen so much, I know I should put it on but I mostly always just try to get away with not wearing it. And I'm a redhead so yeah, I burn super easy lol
Yep, I just tried putting some on last week and it was awful. I prefer to stay inside, which isn't great for my emotional health, but all lotions are awful to me. And all make-up. Just, no.
Hello from the UK. I have just watched your video and I can’t believe how many of the things you mentioned relate to me. I remember as a child lining up my toy cars (I was a bit of a tomboy then) I liked to sort things like buttons into different sizes and colours. I still like doing that now. It is really hard to get an assessment in the UK. I have been on the waiting list for over a year now and I will probably have to wait another year or so. Thanks for your valuable information.
@@Proximity94 I was diagnosed autistic in November 2022. Still waiting for an ADHD assessment. The delay is a problem, because I can barely function as a normal person. Everything is a mess.
Then again autism can be expressed in different ways, for example I would be obsessed with some different things such as Roblox, chess sleepovers and when the weather is too hot or cold, my 5 senses would overload and I would have a meltdown once in a while so I got diagnosed with autism and adhd, and I’ve been taking medicines and I seem just fine!
i just wish they'd hurry up and give me my diagnosis. one minute I'm 100% certain I am autistic and another I'm convinced that I'm not. I'm so exhausted with going back and forth in my head about it.
I was diagnosed last year. I have all these traits. When I look back when I was younger I can definitely say I was autistic. I wish I wasn't born this way, it makes my life lonely. It's very hard for me to make friends. Having autisim and social anxiety makes my social life hard. I don't have friends at all because of my diagnosis.
I can really relate to your comment. The masking skills I have learned to be able to do any conversation don't help me in making friends. So while I enjoy people, I haven't really worked out what being in a friendship means or involves. It is lonely and a little scary sometimes. 💜
I am 67 and figured out that I am on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, as are my children, my spouse, my parents, and at least one grandparent. We all are very good at masking, to the point that both m dad and I became psychologists, first doing research and then clinicians. Apparently, quite a few psychologists are on the spectrum, because they became very good at watching people and learning how others act in order inform themselves (I raise my hand here). I have a couple of the physical correlating characteristics such as attached earlobes and multiple hair whorls, sensory sensitivities (as did my dad and both of my kids), the preference to be alone (i did that for a whole summer and my parents didn't even question my choice), etc.
Whait, what do earlobes and hair whorls have to do with autism? I saw that in an online test for autism and thought it was so odd. Is there a real correlation?
Yeah I've seen a question about do u have odd hair and I was like wtf, what do u mean odd? Lol. I have red curly hair which doesn't cause me to fit in where I live so I thought maybe it is odd but yeah then I watched a different TH-cam video with an autistic teenager who has multiple hair whorls and finally understood
I got my diagnosis last year at the age of 48, since then I have been learning who I actually am and finding that things that I thought I didn't have as an issue I actually do. The reason that I didn't know is that when I am in 'on' mode my body doesn't notice any of these things and then I am just exhausted and emotional when I get home. The comment that I get about my voice is that people are always trying to place where my accent is from and are surprised to hear that I am a local.
That last sentence literally made me drop what I was holding and stare at a spot on the wall for a minute. My twin sister and I get this a lot. I'll have to tell her that one.
@@TheCloverAffiliate12 I wonder how being a twin can affect language skills and if many studies have been done to learn more. I, too, am a twin and both her and I have had many difficulties with language. As well, I get the same comment from strangers as you do; they believe me to be from out of town at first. My twin sister has a mild lisp but otherwise sounds quite fine. I'm so curious now!!
@@BonelessBananaShack Okay, I have to come back and comment on this: My twin sister and I were just told today that we both have perfect pitch!! The one who mentioned it to us told us that perfect pitch is genetic??? So I think there could be some link there about being a twin and that affecting language skills! The connection I'm making between singing and language skills is with accent and tone. Our accents sound like we're from elsewhere, but we both subconsciously temporarily pick up accents we hear that aren't from around here? And we can mimic those other accents super well, but the one from here just...doesn't stick? I'm curious now, too!! I appreciate the insight from you and your twin's experiences also!
That is a real struggle for the late-diagnoses people, I have found. That's kind of where I have been for about a year, learning about this. It started with me seeking an ADHD diagnoses after facing new levels of challenge at work following changes, which I received, and then finding that the Autism diagnoses doesn't work the same way and HC providers (in the US) have all acted like I'm a weirdo and are confused when even I bring up asking what my next steps are to get evaluated. The main thing that get's me suspecting to the point where I consider myself at LEAST in the Autism Phenotype (esp with the rate of ADHD comorbidity that we're aware of) is that I can be more or less functional in normal adult society, but it's at EXTREME cost. Not so extreme that I run out of resources for it in the moment often(Which, to me, seems like the traditional division of asperger's vs other autistic presentations) but being in public or talking to strangers or interfacing with non-familiar society = Internal screams, freak outs before and after, extreme anxiety, a lot of 'I don't know that I understand what is expected of me so I'll smile and nod" as I call it, to my wife, the 'plastered slight smile' reflex I've developed from years of masking. I have rules in my head to follow, such as "don't ask questions unless you absolutely have to" since, otherwise, I'd be basically interrogating everyone at the DMV, Restaurants, work, etc.I found I have a lot of "i'll just figure it out on my own later" throughout life b/c of this stuff. 99% of my so called skills are figuring out how to end my engagement with a person ASAP so that I can actually think, since I can't be social and think straight around new people ever. It's beyond social anxiety, there's an entire different personality and method of functioning that I flip into when situations are unpredictable, new, and rapidly (for me) changing. I really relate to the sentiment passing around self-diagnoses friendly autistic communities regarding how it's actually difficult to impossible to get anyone to take your challenges seriously later in life if you have developed masking skills. (Esp in non-nationalized healthcare countries) Like, NONE of the 'normal' behavior I do, or impulses that I control, come naturally. I had to learn through trial, error, and observation and now that I'm 32 I can 'pass' in 80% of circumstances, but 50% of those circumstances will drain my mental resources and I know for a fact I can't 'perform' at the same level as most others for long. This is a big issue in 2 situations: Work and bureaucracy standards for living as an adult, again, like the DMV or registering to vote, etc. Things that "adults" are expected to do without support. A DMV trip takes at least a week of preparation and trying to psych myself up to attend. Extensive online research about what to expect, possibly a scouting mission to drive by and figure out where to park, monitoring the google page to see when spikes happen so I can go at a time it's not crowded etc. And with work, I can be a top performer if it's a task I can just do on my own with minimal interaction. But if it takes cooperation, especially with a new person, it's the same dynamic. Fretting, worry, anxiety, not asking the questions I know I'll need later, procrastination, etc. And I know for a fact it makes me 'a bad worker' b/c I can't just come out and say "Hi I have communication difficulties so I might need to ask more questions than you're expecting or might not know I need something until I'm already halfway through" without further wrecking my social capital that is required to get promoted, maintain employment, etc. It's not that I find these things annoying, or angering, or whatever else people attribute to these experiences in comedy, etc. It's that they trigger panic attacks, physiological symptoms, flinching, terror, etc in my but I've learned to, usually, push that down and it doesn't come out. Occasionally, though, something will just be too much and I've driven right by an appointment or social event I was planning to go to because I noticed the parking lot was extra full and I could see a higher-than-expected level of chaos (Meaning more people standing around) than I expected and I just NOPE right out of there without even trying. If I feel the increased heart rate and breathing panic adrenaline starting to course through my body just on the APPROACH, then I know that I can't go forward on my own. If I have someone who isn't freaking out with me, I can function but keeping all my anxiety and worry inside my head while also being expected to A) Maybe have to small talk to someone who is just board and standing around because I "look lonely" by myself or B) Keep track of everything I'm 'supposed' to be doing while also monitoring that I'm not looking or acting weird is just too much. And then there's sensory issues that I have that run in my Mom's side of the family, the lack of engagement or crying when I was a baby everyone always comments on in my family, the fact that I seem to be WAY more into any of my hobbies than almost any one else I ever meet that has the same hobby, at work I seem to need a lot more clarity and always have more specific questions than my peers (That often stumps people and makes me feel like a problem...), and all of the other stuff that at least make me strongly relate to other people's stories of living on the spectrum.
Thank you Stephanie...it brings tears to my eyes hearing you describe me so vividly...it's been a year since I first realized that I'm most likely on the spectrum....I'm late 60s, so I won't be getting diagnosed...but it's clear to me... your videos are very encouraging and validating.... Wizard or professor were my nicknames growing up... Awesome video...
3:46 shot me hard. Upon seeking diagnosis, my family always told me that I created new story/memory since I never talked about being bullied as a child that much and suddenly (weird because i shared everything to people)? Upon getting diagnosis? I notice everything, start to study about it.
It wasn’t until I was in High School that people told me to make eye contact and smile. From then on I tried focusing on one eye of another person, since I find it hard to focus on two things at once. I wonder if many people I met thought I stared and the eye too much.
Yeah. It's a problem for me too. It doesn't come natural for me, so I have to think about it, and intentionally make eye contact. But, then I end up over thinking how much eye contact is appropriate and stop paying attention to the conversation. I'm forcing myself to make eye contact, and that turns into starring. And where am I supposed to look when not making eye contact. I just don't get it. It stresses me out.
When I stare off into nothing... but actually I'm looking inside of my brain.... and who ever I'm talking to will look over to where I was looking.... i always have to say "im just looking around in my brain". But it rattles folks, they look quickly and search to where I am looking, like something is about to hit us
I very much relate to this, and I got my diagnosis in grade 2 at a hospital/school for people who are suspected to have autism. I was very different from other people because I did things like put my snowpants over my winter jacket, spent most of my time playing video games isolated myself from absolutely everyone(I still do that. Mainly out of the fear of losing everyone I meet like I have so far.) I was depressed, and secretly had suicidal thoughts that I'm sure nobody else knew about (I thought that because my parents divorced not long after I was born I wasn't supposed to be born, and was in so much emotional pain that I had no idea what to do with it.) I was not selfish like most kids my age were, and made sure that everyone else's wants, and needs were put before my own. (I'm still like that.) I had very sensitive eyes, and ears, and still do. I have always been terrible with social interaction, and insecure around other people. That's what autism has been like for me.
i'm autistic too and i'm a huge pushover because i try to not offend anyone. i didn't really have any friends in primary school, i just followed a group of girls around. in secondary school now i just read or do homework. people are nice to me but i don't speak to people much.
Thank you for sharing Stephanie. It took a major life event for me to seek counselling at age 48. While in therapy, at age 49, i was officially diagnosed what used to be called Aspergers. I think that is ASD, Step 1 (?). After many years (since middle school) usually feeling like an outsider, being called... well, quite a few names, and figured i was just an anomaly "normal" person surrounded by an unusual amount of odd people. I did actually think that. Even after diagnosis, it took my therapist another 18 months to show me, and most importantly my acceptance of, some medications, routines, etc. It has been 7 years, and i am finally in a place where i feel much better about myself. Thank you again for sharing your knowledge and hard work.
When I was younger I could identify with a lot of the points, and while I don't relate to them as strongly today as I did back then, I still identify with a fair amount of them.
I'm only halfway through this video and every single thing was on point so far. At this point I tell people "I don't know if I have autism but I clearly share many characteristics and issues with autistic people." Edit: okay, the entire video is 100% me.
This makes remember school, before I began to study these things and better learn to mask. I remember a time in 4th grade when a group of other boys were making fun of me and I couldn’t even conceive that they were or why it was funny, even when they tried to explain. It just had no logic! They finally gave up and walked off. Actually they never bothered me again.
When you brought up avoiding direct eye contact and instead look at other parts of the face I had a very vivid flashback to the time my theater director taught me this exact trick so I could fake eye contact for a scene.
I was diagnosed last year. Most of these are spot on for me, but there are a few that I either don’t feel at all and some that I super identify with! I didn’t identify with was the not smiling back thing. It’s automatic for me. Idk if I necessarily “feel” the emotion attached; I just know smiling back is the correct response. The random faces thing!! 💯 I’m dissociating almost all the time, and sometimes I’ll make the faces that “headspace me” would make in whatever scenario I’m playing in my head. Repetitive phrases or conversations is my worst habit. I know when I’m doing it but I can’t help myself! Sensory issues are another one that is super relatable to me. Soft touch is the devil. 😂
When you mentioned people making fun of a voice I related to that but I have been said to have a child's voice. Back before online orders I had to give the phone to someone with an "adult" voice for any orders to Pizza Hut to go through
I always get told I sound like a child especially over the phone. And then in person I speak way too softly or quietly so I'm always told to speak up but I think I sound fine so unless the person is hard of hearing I won't change my voice lol I become really upset if asked to change it.
Yes, child-like voice comments forever. AND both too quiet and too loud (mostly now it's too loud). Which means either shutting up and being "that girl who looks weird and doesn't contribute" or being annoying. Plus, I still have to work very hard not to sound like a professor and to use normal-people words, so....
I just recently realized and came to the conclusion that I may be autistic. I relate to so much of what you talked about. All the tests I've taken say I show significant signs of being autistic and should see a professional. Well, time to get diagnosed
Lots of good info here, thank you. I loved your explanation about how it can be difficult to understand other people's thoughts and perspectives at the same time as considering your own. You can reflect back later, but it's difficult in the moment. Yes, that makes so much sense for me. Also, expecting other people to read between the lines and just "get" what you are saying. Haha, my husband would agree. I'm saving this video to watch again!
When I was little they diagnosed me with adhd, I had a hard time focusing on things I didn't care about, I'm an adult now and I gotta say that It never really went away. Nice video, it kinda makes me want to talk to a psychiatrist again. On ampther note,, I prefer staying inside. Going outside and having to talk to people is like exhausting...technically I don't dislike the people(most of the time), I just assume everyone dislikes me. It's weird. I do the awkward eye stare thing, I stared at my old managers eyes intensely and forced a smile 😃 my cheek started to twitch and she asked me to relax lol no idea what I'm doing nowadays...I had to quit because I panicked on the 3rd day and couldn't see myself not making a mistake on people's orders...which made me very uncomfortable. idk I need to seek help probably. I also never know if I'm just exaggerating or if it's all in my head. A lot of the time I correct my actions outloud, like if there was another me making mistakes. It's not another me though...I think?? I still throw tantrums when something small changes in my made up schedule, even if I set up a schedule seconds before...you can't change it, or I'll get all weirdly uncomfortable idk mildly aggressive for no real reason. I've never been able to hold a "steady job" whatever the heck that is... anyways sorry to unload in a comment, I'm just wondering how many people relate. Thanks for your video~
I got diagnosed in my 50s, and every (I mean *EVERY*) single thing you listed, I've always done throughout my life. I keep beating myself up with Why didn't I recognize this before?
I know what you mean - I got diagnosed a few months ago at 55. The information just wasn't out there. Only steotypical traits were known, Rain Man etc. We had to mask traits in order to function/survive in the world. I get down about my late diagnosis too, but then I try to remember that basically anyone older than me likely never got to understand themselves at all. So we are lucky from that perspective.
Well done Stephanie! I knew this video was gonna be a winner! 100+ comments, this is a really good way of simplifying the DSM-V criteria and help other people relate! 😉 I’m this video will help lots of ppl, I hope it gets to more and more ppl! 🙌
If you are a adult reading this undiagnosed you could have learned to see social ques for your location, to smile at right times, to use your talking voice not natural voice, all of these things are forms of masking to seem "normal" so your not in trouble or questioned about them. If you remember having to learn to talk right or learn facial cues or non-verbal cues or learn how to actively participate in conversation instead of it being one sided(whether it was taught actively or by trial and error of making friends or chating) The things on this list are for diagnosis of young children (even the update for older people one doesn't account for masking if the psychiatrist doesn't care to check) so you may for the most part not actually fit with these while keeping up the mask to fit in society but if you can relax and let down your mask if you are autistic you should see a big difference in what your mind/body actually wants to do vs what you've allowed yourself to do to fit in. Most the times this can cause huge stress even if for a nurotypical your life would be perfect for you it could be to loud, to bright, to much talking, not enough outlets for body movement or vocal stems(even just humming or singing), to much smells, or just things that are casually in background and not paid attention to can actually be cause for your bad mood or headache/migraine(from stress of being around stuff). Especially if you're afab or minority where you are most often already taught at young age how to act how not to act in detail and punished if don't(even for nurotypicals) you could learn to mask early on and this be why you wasn't diagnosed. If going to therapy and them helping you become more yourself and stop caring about others opinions you start being more autistic then you was most likely masking without even realizing it. If you feel like you relate to other autistics take the test a few times in different perspective (do the toddler check while looking at old video and based on family stories, do adolescent check using same things, do adult test yourself and give the test to someone who sees you as your most relaxed and real state not faking and let them fill out how they see you) if you get high marks on all of these you know it's right and if you have the money or need the accommodations then get diagnosed. But stigma does come with it so if your career would let you go or if you want to adopt one day and you don't need accommodations then just be self diagnosed and now you know what it is and how to help yourself and what accommodations to ask for without dx but do know your bio kids could be autistic and get them tested so they have help thru their childhood that they need.
I'm already certain I'm autistic, and most of this is applicable to me, but I haven't heard many people talk about some of them in most of the vids done by autistic people I've watched. Good vid. Thanks.
3:46 about the bullies was me!! I noticed that I was like this in elementary school! I do so many things that only sound like it could be autism but keep thinking it could be something else. If it's not autism. What is it? Or messes with my mental health daily. 😓
I have traits but don't meet criteria for an ASD diagnosis, especially as things in common are attributed to other diagnoses that fit better. Eg Bipolar = getting passionate about things, seeing patterns, talking over the conversation; PTSD = sensory sensitivities, aversion to touch, sensitive to sound, shutting down pain; social anxiety = avoiding eye contact. All 3 = social and communication impairments.
I hear the comorbid conditions you've been diagnosed with are how a lot of especially women are never diagnosed with ASD. I have never had the money to go to doctors who did more than diagnose me with anxiety or depression and offer me drugs for it that don't help, but would have the same situation, I'm sure.
@@tracybartels7535 psychiatrist said I fit PDD-NOS which is an older diagnosis but still current in NZ. Which has also called clinically signicant autism spectrum features. Nothing is done about it anyway. My primary diagnoses are still bipolar 1 & PTSD
Describing me 85% 51yrs and still get bullied. However, Im learning how to handle those that mistreat us! Ill never forget being bullied in 3 rd grade, when SP untied my Hawaiian wrap around shorts and top, which left me nude standing on the sidewalk. The smells, ive always been picked on consistently!!so much more!!
I am 73. I have had a lot of time to adapt, many experieces to make me what I am. Like taking LSD in the late 60's and staring at the light fixture for two days or ten minutes. Time-bending. Drugs and music and the culture of the time. Many traits you describe are there for me, but things have been molded by family and environment. I don't fit in well with others, never did, except that I was the middle child of nine, with two nice parents and Grandma and Grandpa next door in small town Wisconsin. I fit in there, and was only peculiar, not high-functioning autism. But I eagerly left that world to be a hippie. I had to be free, not controlled by a narrow-minded society's concept of what a woman's roll should be. I was a part of the anti-war movement, women's rights, etc. Only six months ago I started looking into autism, continuing a life-long desire to understand myself. I took several online autism evals, the forty-item tests. All came out high autism probability. Seems impossible ? to get a full eval at this age. Medicare? Few professionals can diagnose old/adult autism. So why would I want an eval? My siblings, relatives have thought I was "odd". I have felt judged very negatively when I have had melt-downs. Like screaming meltdowns are really just bad form and I should behave better. So. I can't find any old autistic women to relate to. If anyone has an idea?? Plus I live alone for many years but now am getting fearful og old age alone.
Omg I HATE it when people touch me as part of conversation, it even makes me anxious when I see people doing it to others. And then if I have my natural reaction and shirk away they get offended. 🤔 Like bruh you touched me without me asking you to, why are YOU offended?
For a few years, I noticed that women of my age do that when trying to connect (literally as well as physically) with people. I spent literally years trying to learn when to do that so I could do it myself and therefore make friends, but alas! Even when I thought it was maybe an appropriate time, I couldn't bring myself to touch someone (I can do this with my kids, though now that they're teens, it's harder). I am both very uncomfortable with being touched and also very touched by being touched (ha!) because I felt that those women thought I was human, if that makes sense, while most people think I'm too weird and wouldn't touch me for that reason. I'm sure I would have hated the touch much more if I hadn't really liked them and wanted to be friends, and thought (incorrectly, as it panned out) that the touch meant more than it did. I'm amazed I ever got married considering I can't even do friendship.
I have about 60% of these traits. Another 10% I experienced as a child but quickly learned was not appropriate behavior. For example, I used to shake my fists when happy. Then my first grade teacher humiliated me in class, so of course I stopped doing it. I would repeat words under my breath. I still struggle with eye contact; I usually look at nose bridges or under eye lids. I just turned 35, so I know it will likely be much more difficult for me to get an evaluation, even more so because I'm AFAB :(
When I was in 5th grade, I used to blink a lot until one day, a kid tapped his friend on the shoulder, pointed at me, and started blinking very fast. It made me sad and angry, and I wanted to do something about it, but I didn't.
I talk backwards. I was on the local TV. Then people made my life a hell. I didn't wanted to go out anymore, streets were scary, people asked me constantly! I don't know why I was able to have that "gift", it was annoying and affected me negatively. People did that. Horrible, horrible days... I had so many special abilities, not maths (I hate maths) just pool games and adults always lose with me. I always was the phenomenon, it was extremely exhausting. I just wanted to play get fun and be good at something, but adults were mad at me... Then I isolated and started to develop many issues... also I had music skills that were unusual. I readed adult books, Jules Verne and things like that. No smile, no talk, then my family broken me forever.
The flipping the light switches on and off and swinging doors open and shut used to get me into so much trouble as a kid. I just liked the sensory/tactile input it gave. Apparently it was "rude" and that's why I stopped.
A critical component of an ASD diagnosis is indicators of these traits and behaviors over a lifetime. Using (only) the current timeframe produces a distortion and may be contaminated by events that may be causing only short term issues. Hence, an in depth review of a lifetime of the issues you mention is very important. (Appreciate the emphatic disclaimer at opening.....Dr. TH-cam and Dr. Google are not something you want to trust your life to!)
Yes, and are tricky if everyone you knew at the time is gone. I know I was a toe-walker, and badly so. I remember some sensory stuff nobody else had (concrete and napkins) as a child, not wanting food to touch. I know I was quiet and anxious young (like between birth and age 5). I know it got worse at puberty which is common for girls when social requirements up significantly. I know I learned to read young and had a grown-up vocabulary and was considered an "old soul", but if someone from my youth needs to verify all this stuff, it's never going to happen and I'll just be "that weird failure of a person who can't act normally" for the rest of my life. I'm sure that's true for most people over 40, that nobody remembers that stuff if anyone from then is still even alive. It's unfortunate.
I only had to deal with bullying once in school. Some girls (I think) called my home phone and started say bad stuff about me. Normally that would upset a person, but just found it funny. I'm also amused by the emails I get saying someone accessed my Facebook account. Thing is, I don't have a Facebook account. Also your light through fingers reminded me that I once sat in front of a glass door staring at strands of hair. Not only did I like the way the sun would glint off the hair, but I was fascinated by all the different colors. It seemed like having 'dirty blonde hair meant my hair was a mix of all other hair colors.
Recently got diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, sometimes I find it hard to differentiate some aspects of myself from either the autism effects or ADHD effects. Maybe its all the same as it`s part of my brain as a whole. I always realized I was "weird" but thought it was because of trauma but I just couldn`t make the connection between my weirdness and trauma. The part that really made me realize I was autistic (post diagnosis) was about not understanding when people make fun of me, double meaning words and many times sarcasm. I remember being the center of the jokes and getting mad at my "friend" group and classmates because they were making fun of me and I realized that because it was way too obvious and cruel but many if not all times the jokes didn`t make any sense, still I got mad because I knew I was being mocked. That kind of thing happened way too many times and still happens from time to time and I thought it was just because I haven`t heard the joke before because I`ve been an introvert and rarely get along with the extroverts who tend to be on the mocking or joking side. When I was diagnosed I didn`t really believe I had autism because of many stereotypes, but thanks to videos like these I now really understand why I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD by 2 professionals. This kind of information should really be learned by more people!
When you said the thing about sensory stuff including smell, I remembered back when I was a kid, up until I was like 14, whenever I went into a public restroom and went to wash my hands afterward, I would smell the soap. Every single time. My mom used to laugh because she thought it was cute. Eventually I started masking that too and now I get the urge but just smell it while I’m washing my hands cuz the smell travels. I also used to not drink milk if I could smell the tiniest of sourness. So like 3-4 days before the expiration. Nobody else could smell that it was bad yet. Now I can’t smell much of anything and it makes me sad :( always congested
What i want to know is where do i look when i’m being yelled at. I can’t look you in the eye, or you’ll think i’m mad dogging you or rolling my eyes or some shit, but if i look away it’s like “i’m over here dumb shit” i’m tired of decoding neurotypicals.
Im late, but you’re meant to look at their legs, shoes, or neck. . Anywhere directly below their eyes seems to work? Idk how to explain it, but not to the left or right of them and not at their face
The only difference with me is that I understand that I don't give full context. So every time I speak I will download 30 minutes of information on the topic to the individual I'm speaking to. Then they never want to speak to me again or tell me they are busy and need to leave.
I'm not officially diagnosed, but I'm definitely autistic. I noticed that because I was anxious from a young age I became very good at masking. I realized only recently that I'm autistic because I have a really good friend group who I felt comfy enough to unmask around and slowly realized I was autistic because of that. I wanna point out that as a person who has a hyposensitivity to a lot of sensory input. Sometimes it can manifest as a lot of sensory seeking, wanting deep pressure, even aversion to eating bland foods and silence being physically painful.
Wow, you just helped me to remember how I used to love turning on and off the light switch over and over again when I was little (when my parents told me it might break the light switch I stopped doing it but yeah)
This is great. Thanks for sharing. I suppose at some point we all might have one or two of these. My fellow’s Dad does not understand quite why his son does not like to look him in the eyes.
Thank you! Good list. I think I am NT, not autism spectrum, but I've been around so many autistic ppl, in family, partner and friends, that I suspected myself having autism or adhd. Made many tests online. But I think many NTs are drawn to autistic mates. Neurodiversity.
ADHD and Autism have a significant overlap. That is why it is not uncommon for a person diagnosed with ASD to also receive a comorbid diagnosis of ADHD. It is important that due to the close overlap of ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, and Schizophrenia (to list a few) there is a high rate of misdiagnosis. Unfortunately, many think if they have one, they have at least one of the other. This can lead to inappropriate, unnecessary, or ineffective treatments.
So many of these seem focused on things related to "theory of mind,"/understanding others... So much so that I wonder if this video could almost lead someone to understand autism in a very outdated way? Yes, many autistic people struggle socially, but how much of that is due to the traumas that come from social interaction in a world that's cruel to those who are wired differently? I don't know... I feel conflicted about this video. I relate so much more strongly to the second half than the first, and it makes me wonder if I shouldn't seek a diagnosis, but on the other hand, maybe my development was just influenced by those traumas differently than other autistic individuals' trauma? I get so lost and confused thinking about all of this. There are autistic advocates who want to move away from thinking of autism as a "social" disorder and frame it more in terms of sensory experiences, ways of thinking, etc. But on the other hand autism is currently framed with "social" at the center of the concept. I do struggle socially yet at the same time I found myself not relating to the first half... I really don't know. A part of me is afraid to seek a diagnosis, or thinks it's pointless if I'll never be confident in the categories or criteria, or in whether or not I meet them.
SAME!!!!!!!!!! omg!!! i think ur/were just as valid tho. isnt that like the point of the spectrum/dimension? no two autistics being the same? this felt like putting it in a tight box. fuck idk sorry im not eloquent idk if anything im saying rn is like comprehensible enough lol. i dont feel like i struggle too much in the social aspect, at least not in the way described in the video, maybe its that masking thing, i think i understand cues well enough, but am still too "odd", divergent from normal or expected. not a textbook/stereotype example, but tbh idk what else it could be other than autism.. all the sensory and feeling-like-an-alien with the way i think and exist. def comorbid with other nd stuff like c-ptsd, adhd (and possibly bpd? idk im not feeling that one much tho), but i cant just scratch the autism out of the equation, it wouldnt make sense. regarding diagnosis, idk if i "need" it, not atm, but ill def discuss it with my psychiatrist (and try to challenge her knowledge a bit? see how she sees this stuff, offer a pov?). god im so glad i saw ur comment. thank you for not making me feel alone. hope stuff goes well for you, may you get the conclusions/care/peace youre searching for.
Another thing with toys that's overlooked is how you play with dolls. When I was little I never did any imaginative play with my dolls or toys, it was always just dressing them, and undressing them. or setting up a scene and then taking it down. never actually creating a story around it.
That's what I remember. I thought that was everyone? What else does one do with them? Put them in a car and push it. Put them on a boat and push it around the pool. Give them tiny books and toys. I'm not sure about the stories. I don't even remember friends doing stories, but maybe some did?
Over a decade ago, I once saw a person lick a person's cheek and asked why did he lick her face and literally everybody around me started laughing, I didn't find what I said funny at all. I once mentioned how I have never masked on a comments section during an IndiAndy and some random person got really angry at me and said of cause you mask, well it was that person issue. I've always stuck out.
@@MartKart8 there is an anime called jojo's bizarre adventure and at the start of part 5 one character licks another character's cheek to see if he's telling the truth. the moment has been memed a lot. referencing jojo is a meme.
I notice that nearly all these descriptions fit my younger self, but not my current self. Only some of these descriptions fit my current self, but then again, I may think that I've changed more than I usually have. Socially, I believe I changed once my mentor began telling me what was unacceptable and once I began social media, where I could observe how typical people communicate and try to imitate that. But for the first 14 years of my life? I very much had autistic traits.
@Stephanie Bethany ....Completely off subject do you know what happened to or where possibly mindful divergence Carol Bird disappeared to I know TH-cam was giving her a hard time and then I just lost track of her and I can't seem to find her anywhere Also oh my gosh what happened to Andy? Sorry for the sore subject... I'm just lost without knowing thank you
When I was a kid I was really quiet, I had friends but only 2 or 3. Like it was like library quiet up until I had to be loud because my parents complained about it to me so much that I would remind myself to be loud until I got used to it
I hate it when my cousins would visit they would always leave my room like a trash dump I wanted to cry when they spilt my jar of random plastic things
Im undiagnosed but son is. I identify with most of the points in this video. I don't see the point of being diagnosed since im already gone through life without help and the government won't give me any freebies.
Yes these things are very autistic traits and l do lots of them but not all. Being a female who got a recent diagnosis very late in life, l became very puppet like ( l camouflage ) to try and fit in and a people pleaser too. l didnt even notice that l do this to the degree l do until after my diagnosis. The other interesting thing that l am just starting to learn about with my ASD is my clumsiness my being accident prone my flexible joints my wide gate and strange walk that also includes a short stride with my knees pushing back and very ridged. Question for you Steph, could you do some detective work on ASD and physical traits like wide gate, flexibility and things l listed above. I'm sure you will find more things to add. I have only recently started looking into this and l would like to know more and am wondering how many others with ASD have some of these traits. Thanks 😊
I know dyspraia-like traits and dyspraxia and apraxia are commonly seen in autistic people. I've also seen, anecdotally, a lot of autistic people mention comorbid ehlers-danlos which has to do with connective tissue.
I shall have to do more research into these. For me its funny how l had good balance as a teenager and could do the things l did, but they were also the years l had most of my accidents. I think that there are many things linked with autism that not much is known about and many things yet to be discovered. I hope this happens as l believe it could be very helpful to ppl with ASD as long as we are not used as guinea pigs or less human in the process. Still hopeful that you might be able to do a chat on those things l mentioned earlier. Thanks for your reply 😊 PS your hair looks fantastic 👌
Honestly this is why 100% anti-self dx peeps kinda make me mad. not everyone has the resources to get an official diagnosis but sometimes a self diagnosis is correct years before an official one is given (or in my case not a self dx but my mother went to my psychiatrist with a big binder filled with research and documentation of reasons she believed i was autistic and my doctor wouldn't entertain the notion because i wasn't comfortable enough around him to unmask. After 10 solid years of treatment and receiving every other diagnosis under the sun he finally said "okay yeah you may be autistic" and i went through further evaluation. self dx should be able to help lead to a professional diagnosis in most cases, but for some it just helps knowing what's causing them to experience the world the way they do and then they can move on with a further understanding of themselves.
@@superzooperhaze6597 I wasn't even the one to think I was autistic. My husband has diagnosed me. And it makes total sense. I just don't have that official diagnoses because I don't even have a doctor to go to to get a referral.
I am very good at going on tangents when it comes to the bible, or the way things are in society, like what we see in the news, so I am thinking I might go to an English school to become a news paper writer, or Bible school to be a pastor. Where I am living right now though, I am not allowed to talk about those things, so I experience selective mutism at home.
Do you think telling a prospective employer that you are autistic would hurt your chances of getting the job? Is it illegal to discriminate against autistic people?
Most people.. Don’t? I’m guessing that means that, of the people that DO, most don’t find a scent they hate, flinch, and get a headache for the rest if the day either, huh?-
Me and lil bro plus step siblings and cousins have most of these traits. Lol bro would line up his toys so would I. We both rock. He rocks to movies while I'll rock to music. He will repeat random fraces he heard in TH-cam videos with no context lol. My cousin Shawn takes jokes literally Wich has almost gotten him arrested once. Basically at the airport he forgot to take his laptop out if the bad. The security guard jokingly said there's a 15 doller fee to that. He takes it literally and pulls a 20 doller bill out Wich to everyone else looks like a bribe Wich is illigal. Luckily the guy picked up on the fact he didn't understand it was a joke and let him go. I've also had so many customers joke with me and I just take it literally. Or even if I know it is a joke I have to respond as if it wasn't for some reason.
Not technically related to your video but I thought you should know I just got an Autism Speaks midroll ad on this. I'm not sure if you have any control over what ads can and cannot play, but even if you can't do anything about it I thought you should know.
It would be ironic to find out at my age I was on the spectrum. I find I experience many of the things you spoke of. I don't like being touched; can only wear certain fabrics due to how they feel against my skin. I often wish I could be sound selective. Certain sounds cause me anxiety. I often wear earplugs during the day to dampen noises. I do stim, but mostly when feeling anxiety. lol I tend to look at mouths or chins when talking not their eyes.
Wow this is quite a long list. I do relate to some of them. What percentage of these traits would make one autistic? I'd say I can identify with about half of them.
I inadvertently say things that people find funny. I don't mean them to be funny, but I sometimes pretend like I do because it feels awkward otherwise.
Same, that happens to me. I get confused about what I said but I laugh and play it off.
That happens to me all the time! I guess it's okay because people find me entertaining(?) for being "blunt" or "savage", but I'm literally just making observations about situations...
That used to happen to me quite a lot when I was younger, but I ended up learning why certain things are funny and now I can make jokes that people usually enjoy. I cannot explain why, but I somehow managed to learn this skill.
I so relate!... As a child, when I wasn't trying to be funny, people thought it was a hilarious joke, and when I tried to say something funny, they said it wasn't funny.
This. Exactly. I played it off as though I was funny on purpose but absolutely didn't mean it to be a joke.
I was able to mask a lot of things even from myself. The one thing I've needed all along was alone time in a separate area of the house at the end of the day or when I was feeling really stressed. I feel like there's a range of emotions I go through if I'm interrupted - sadness, fear, anger, etc.
It should be noted that a lot of the traits may be internalized from conditioning from the outside world. I'm rediscovering many things now that I was told or implied not to do that feel natural to me.
If you think you are autistic, the online tests are some of the same ones done in the clinic. Take those as honestly as you can at different times and if you score high then there's a good chance you probably are. I know I have the luxury of a diagnosis and I feel for everyone that's unable to get tested. If you feel like you are then don't let people tell you you aren't.
I have so many of these, but no money to see a doctor. But I have it for sure after this vid. Ty so much. 😢😢😢😢
I also have tourette syndrome. And major ocd... 😢😢😢
I was diagnosed in September at the age of 40. I realize I was autistic about 3 years ago after my daughter was diagnosed. Before that I had NO clue I had autism. I knew something was “wrong” with me but I didn’t know what. I said yes to most of your list. I’m old and finally know what’s “wrong” with me. I’m glad I got a diagnosis.
Yes.
It is such a relief.
I was diagnosed last week at 40 as well! Also said yes to almost everything here 😃
@@AurorasWindow you guys are not old, I've never been diagnosed, but score high on the tests online and said yes to most of this video. I'm 61, back in the 60's I was called "shy". I am going to see my dr about getting tested. it can take months or even years here. Everything makes sense though and I now catch myself when I'm obsessing over something. (not everyone feeds their dog raw even though it's the best diet for them. :) one of my obsessions.) I have stims but wasn't aware that they weren't normal. I twirl my hair constantly and sit on my hands to stop myself. now I don't care.
My traits are my traits; assigning them a label makes no material difference.
I like that I understand how I think. I don't need other people to understand.
nothing is wrong with you.
you and your daughter are a bless to this world
😯The point about talking always brings up a specific memory for me! Back in elementary school kids would ask me all the time "why do you talk like that?""you kinda talk like a robot". Instead of feeling sad or offended by it, I took it kind of literally and thought of myself as some poor cyborg haha. It's a cute bittersweet memory. Now random strangers frequently tell me I have a "teacher voice", but I also take this as a compliment. It's very helpful in customer service situations 😉
I've always had a distinctive voice. When I was younger my voice made me sound younger than how old i'm actually am and spoke with an accent that I don't know what it is, and people say my voice is soft. Right now I'm 13 and my voice is a little deeper, but still my voice is high but not to the point it made me sound younger than I'm actually am, and it's to a 13 year old. And, also for some reason my voice cracks despite being a girl.
I mean its closer to a 13 year old not it is a 13 year old. Sorry, ugh I forgot to edit the reply to your comment
@@daisyteto877 That's interesting because I just turned 30 and when I speak on the phone, people are confused because I still sound like I'm 13. And I already hate talking on the phone so much😅
But again, apparently it's an okay voice for calming down upset customers so... sometimes it's not so bad
This is interesting. I've been told several times that I sound like a radio announcer.
After I got diagnosed I had le big imposter syndrome bc of how hard I had to mask (I come from a POC immigrant family and social expectations where heavily reinforced for like safety and class mobility) but it kinda hit me when I realized I DONT KNOW ANYONE's EYE COLOUR LIKE AT ALL (my partner asked to see if i had green in mine too and I stopped breathing from eye contact lol)
@Zoe Collette OMG thank you for the note at the end; Im not super sure but other people would always remember mine (esp with friends Im high school and then later on with partners more so ) and i would never know or get it wrong but remember everything else about there face etc and notice things like little scratches or a hair trim or a new shave but didn’t could never remember the eye colour or would get it wrong frequently
That’s really interesting, im a hispanic Autistic and in my channel I talk about my experiences as well!
@@UnapologeticFranchfries that’s so cool i’ll totally check out your stuff!!
@Zoe Collette aha same!! that’s so funny cause I remember drawing my first partner and having to look through their instagram to figure out their eye colour but it was a really good way to process eye contact w them in a titrated way
I've been wanting to bring this up with my partner for a long time who I and many others, believe is autistic. Problem is, he's hitting 40, and does a very good job of masking his "flaws" (not flaws but can't think of a word rn) as him just being superior to others.
We aren't in a good place in our relationship because of his constant stonewalling either so I don't think he would take me bringing this up in a good way or even consider it.
Even if our relationship ends, I still want to help him...but I don't think it would change anything
Well over half of these directly apply to me & I think several more "don't" because I recognized them as abnormal years ago & tried to alter the way I do them to seem more normal.
As a kid... and still... I've always HATED sunblock or lotion. Not only does it smell, but it makes your skin sticky for like 5 hours, AND it makes it so that the wind (Breeze or even just moving) chills your skin! It's horrible. I have no idea how people just wear that like every day for some people. I'm certain you get used to it, but I don't know that I ever could. Anything besides the spray-on stuff, even as a 32yr old, is almost unbearable for me. I have to have my wife put the spray on me even because it's so hard to just willingly do it myself.
My girlfriend has this exact same issue!!!
Check out you tube cosmetic reviews, there are many different ones that do comparisons and which go into great detail. There are different formulations that you may personally find more comfortable. A review may point you in a direction that will save money and waste.
Omg YES I hate sunscreen so much, I know I should put it on but I mostly always just try to get away with not wearing it. And I'm a redhead so yeah, I burn super easy lol
Yep, I just tried putting some on last week and it was awful. I prefer to stay inside, which isn't great for my emotional health, but all lotions are awful to me. And all make-up. Just, no.
Hello from the UK. I have just watched your video and I can’t believe how many of the things you mentioned relate to me. I remember as a child lining up my toy cars (I was a bit of a tomboy then) I liked to sort things like buttons into different sizes and colours. I still like doing that now. It is really hard to get an assessment in the UK. I have been on the waiting list for over a year now and I will probably have to wait another year or so. Thanks for your valuable information.
I do have many of those traits. I'm currently being assessed for autism and ADHD, but it's a slow process. I'm 52, and life has been difficult.
How did your assessment go! I'm getting assessed today and am turning 40 this weekend!
@@SestraVixen Good luck with your assessment.
The next part of my assessment is in a few weeks. Not sure exactly when. I'd better check. 🤔
@@gregofthedump What were the results?
@@Proximity94 I was diagnosed autistic in November 2022. Still waiting for an ADHD assessment. The delay is a problem, because I can barely function as a normal person. Everything is a mess.
@@gregofthedump Wish you all the best man, I know what it's like to struggle. Stay strong
Then again autism can be expressed in different ways, for example I would be obsessed with some different things such as Roblox, chess sleepovers and when the weather is too hot or cold, my 5 senses would overload and I would have a meltdown once in a while so I got diagnosed with autism and adhd, and I’ve been taking medicines and I seem just fine!
i just wish they'd hurry up and give me my diagnosis. one minute I'm 100% certain I am autistic and another I'm convinced that I'm not. I'm so exhausted with going back and forth in my head about it.
I was diagnosed last year. I have all these traits. When I look back when I was younger I can definitely say I was autistic. I wish I wasn't born this way, it makes my life lonely. It's very hard for me to make friends. Having autisim and social anxiety makes my social life hard. I don't have friends at all because of my diagnosis.
I can really relate to your comment. The masking skills I have learned to be able to do any conversation don't help me in making friends. So while I enjoy people, I haven't really worked out what being in a friendship means or involves. It is lonely and a little scary sometimes. 💜
I am 67 and figured out that I am on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, as are my children, my spouse, my parents, and at least one grandparent. We all are very good at masking, to the point that both m dad and I became psychologists, first doing research and then clinicians. Apparently, quite a few psychologists are on the spectrum, because they became very good at watching people and learning how others act in order inform themselves (I raise my hand here). I have a couple of the physical correlating characteristics such as attached earlobes and multiple hair whorls, sensory sensitivities (as did my dad and both of my kids), the preference to be alone (i did that for a whole summer and my parents didn't even question my choice), etc.
Whait, what do earlobes and hair whorls have to do with autism? I saw that in an online test for autism and thought it was so odd. Is there a real correlation?
Yeah I've seen a question about do u have odd hair and I was like wtf, what do u mean odd? Lol. I have red curly hair which doesn't cause me to fit in where I live so I thought maybe it is odd but yeah then I watched a different TH-cam video with an autistic teenager who has multiple hair whorls and finally understood
I got my diagnosis last year at the age of 48, since then I have been learning who I actually am and finding that things that I thought I didn't have as an issue I actually do. The reason that I didn't know is that when I am in 'on' mode my body doesn't notice any of these things and then I am just exhausted and emotional when I get home. The comment that I get about my voice is that people are always trying to place where my accent is from and are surprised to hear that I am a local.
That last sentence literally made me drop what I was holding and stare at a spot on the wall for a minute. My twin sister and I get this a lot. I'll have to tell her that one.
@@TheCloverAffiliate12 I wonder how being a twin can affect language skills and if many studies have been done to learn more. I, too, am a twin and both her and I have had many difficulties with language. As well, I get the same comment from strangers as you do; they believe me to be from out of town at first. My twin sister has a mild lisp but otherwise sounds quite fine. I'm so curious now!!
@@BonelessBananaShack Okay, I have to come back and comment on this:
My twin sister and I were just told today that we both have perfect pitch!! The one who mentioned it to us told us that perfect pitch is genetic??? So I think there could be some link there about being a twin and that affecting language skills! The connection I'm making between singing and language skills is with accent and tone. Our accents sound like we're from elsewhere, but we both subconsciously temporarily pick up accents we hear that aren't from around here? And we can mimic those other accents super well, but the one from here just...doesn't stick?
I'm curious now, too!! I appreciate the insight from you and your twin's experiences also!
That is a real struggle for the late-diagnoses people, I have found. That's kind of where I have been for about a year, learning about this. It started with me seeking an ADHD diagnoses after facing new levels of challenge at work following changes, which I received, and then finding that the Autism diagnoses doesn't work the same way and HC providers (in the US) have all acted like I'm a weirdo and are confused when even I bring up asking what my next steps are to get evaluated.
The main thing that get's me suspecting to the point where I consider myself at LEAST in the Autism Phenotype (esp with the rate of ADHD comorbidity that we're aware of) is that I can be more or less functional in normal adult society, but it's at EXTREME cost. Not so extreme that I run out of resources for it in the moment often(Which, to me, seems like the traditional division of asperger's vs other autistic presentations) but being in public or talking to strangers or interfacing with non-familiar society = Internal screams, freak outs before and after, extreme anxiety, a lot of 'I don't know that I understand what is expected of me so I'll smile and nod" as I call it, to my wife, the 'plastered slight smile' reflex I've developed from years of masking. I have rules in my head to follow, such as "don't ask questions unless you absolutely have to" since, otherwise, I'd be basically interrogating everyone at the DMV, Restaurants, work, etc.I found I have a lot of "i'll just figure it out on my own later" throughout life b/c of this stuff. 99% of my so called skills are figuring out how to end my engagement with a person ASAP so that I can actually think, since I can't be social and think straight around new people ever. It's beyond social anxiety, there's an entire different personality and method of functioning that I flip into when situations are unpredictable, new, and rapidly (for me) changing.
I really relate to the sentiment passing around self-diagnoses friendly autistic communities regarding how it's actually difficult to impossible to get anyone to take your challenges seriously later in life if you have developed masking skills. (Esp in non-nationalized healthcare countries) Like, NONE of the 'normal' behavior I do, or impulses that I control, come naturally. I had to learn through trial, error, and observation and now that I'm 32 I can 'pass' in 80% of circumstances, but 50% of those circumstances will drain my mental resources and I know for a fact I can't 'perform' at the same level as most others for long. This is a big issue in 2 situations: Work and bureaucracy standards for living as an adult, again, like the DMV or registering to vote, etc. Things that "adults" are expected to do without support.
A DMV trip takes at least a week of preparation and trying to psych myself up to attend. Extensive online research about what to expect, possibly a scouting mission to drive by and figure out where to park, monitoring the google page to see when spikes happen so I can go at a time it's not crowded etc. And with work, I can be a top performer if it's a task I can just do on my own with minimal interaction. But if it takes cooperation, especially with a new person, it's the same dynamic. Fretting, worry, anxiety, not asking the questions I know I'll need later, procrastination, etc. And I know for a fact it makes me 'a bad worker' b/c I can't just come out and say "Hi I have communication difficulties so I might need to ask more questions than you're expecting or might not know I need something until I'm already halfway through" without further wrecking my social capital that is required to get promoted, maintain employment, etc.
It's not that I find these things annoying, or angering, or whatever else people attribute to these experiences in comedy, etc. It's that they trigger panic attacks, physiological symptoms, flinching, terror, etc in my but I've learned to, usually, push that down and it doesn't come out. Occasionally, though, something will just be too much and I've driven right by an appointment or social event I was planning to go to because I noticed the parking lot was extra full and I could see a higher-than-expected level of chaos (Meaning more people standing around) than I expected and I just NOPE right out of there without even trying. If I feel the increased heart rate and breathing panic adrenaline starting to course through my body just on the APPROACH, then I know that I can't go forward on my own. If I have someone who isn't freaking out with me, I can function but keeping all my anxiety and worry inside my head while also being expected to A) Maybe have to small talk to someone who is just board and standing around because I "look lonely" by myself or B) Keep track of everything I'm 'supposed' to be doing while also monitoring that I'm not looking or acting weird is just too much.
And then there's sensory issues that I have that run in my Mom's side of the family, the lack of engagement or crying when I was a baby everyone always comments on in my family, the fact that I seem to be WAY more into any of my hobbies than almost any one else I ever meet that has the same hobby, at work I seem to need a lot more clarity and always have more specific questions than my peers (That often stumps people and makes me feel like a problem...), and all of the other stuff that at least make me strongly relate to other people's stories of living on the spectrum.
Thank you Stephanie...it brings tears to my eyes hearing you describe me so vividly...it's been a year since I first realized that I'm most likely on the spectrum....I'm late 60s, so I won't be getting diagnosed...but it's clear to me... your videos are very encouraging and validating....
Wizard or professor were my nicknames growing up...
Awesome video...
3:46 shot me hard. Upon seeking diagnosis, my family always told me that I created new story/memory since I never talked about being bullied as a child that much and suddenly (weird because i shared everything to people)? Upon getting diagnosis? I notice everything, start to study about it.
not me watching this even though I'm a diagnosed autistic 🏃🏽♀️
Same 😂
Oof I know that one
Since 2 years old
It wasn’t until I was in High School that people told me to make eye contact and smile. From then on I tried focusing on one eye of another person, since I find it hard to focus on two things at once. I wonder if many people I met thought I stared and the eye too much.
Yeah.
It's a problem for me too.
It doesn't come natural for me,
so I have to think about it, and intentionally make eye contact.
But, then I end up over thinking how much eye contact is appropriate and stop paying attention to the conversation.
I'm forcing myself to make eye contact, and that turns into starring.
And where am I supposed to look when not making eye contact.
I just don't get it. It stresses me out.
Most of these traits definitely apply to me.
When I stare off into nothing... but actually I'm looking inside of my brain.... and who ever I'm talking to will look over to where I was looking.... i always have to say "im just looking around in my brain".
But it rattles folks, they look quickly and search to where I am looking, like something is about to hit us
I call it "staring at middle ground"...I totally get this!😊
I totally understand. I would phrase it as looking around in my mind. Also, I often laugh out loud at funny things I think.
@@terriem3922 me too!😂 I crack myself up sometimes!
I very much relate to this, and I got my diagnosis in grade 2 at a hospital/school for people who are suspected to have autism. I was very different from other people because I did things like put my snowpants over my winter jacket, spent most of my time playing video games isolated myself from absolutely everyone(I still do that. Mainly out of the fear of losing everyone I meet like I have so far.) I was depressed, and secretly had suicidal thoughts that I'm sure nobody else knew about (I thought that because my parents divorced not long after I was born I wasn't supposed to be born, and was in so much emotional pain that I had no idea what to do with it.) I was not selfish like most kids my age were, and made sure that everyone else's wants, and needs were put before my own. (I'm still like that.) I had very sensitive eyes, and ears, and still do. I have always been terrible with social interaction, and insecure around other people. That's what autism has been like for me.
i'm autistic too and i'm a huge pushover because i try to not offend anyone. i didn't really have any friends in primary school, i just followed a group of girls around. in secondary school now i just read or do homework. people are nice to me but i don't speak to people much.
Thank you for sharing Stephanie. It took a major life event for me to seek counselling at age 48. While in therapy, at age 49, i was officially diagnosed what used to be called Aspergers. I think that is ASD, Step 1 (?). After many years (since middle school) usually feeling like an outsider, being called... well, quite a few names, and figured i was just an anomaly "normal" person surrounded by an unusual amount of odd people. I did actually think that. Even after diagnosis, it took my therapist another 18 months to show me, and most importantly my acceptance of, some medications, routines, etc. It has been 7 years, and i am finally in a place where i feel much better about myself.
Thank you again for sharing your knowledge and hard work.
When I was younger I could identify with a lot of the points, and while I don't relate to them as strongly today as I did back then, I still identify with a fair amount of them.
I'm only halfway through this video and every single thing was on point so far. At this point I tell people "I don't know if I have autism but I clearly share many characteristics and issues with autistic people."
Edit: okay, the entire video is 100% me.
Love your hair! Welcome back! ❤
This makes remember school, before I began to study these things and better learn to mask. I remember a time in 4th grade when a group of other boys were making fun of me and I couldn’t even conceive that they were or why it was funny, even when they tried to explain. It just had no logic! They finally gave up and walked off. Actually they never bothered me again.
When you brought up avoiding direct eye contact and instead look at other parts of the face I had a very vivid flashback to the time my theater director taught me this exact trick so I could fake eye contact for a scene.
I was diagnosed last year. Most of these are spot on for me, but there are a few that I either don’t feel at all and some that I super identify with!
I didn’t identify with was the not smiling back thing. It’s automatic for me. Idk if I necessarily “feel” the emotion attached; I just know smiling back is the correct response.
The random faces thing!! 💯 I’m dissociating almost all the time, and sometimes I’ll make the faces that “headspace me” would make in whatever scenario I’m playing in my head.
Repetitive phrases or conversations is my worst habit. I know when I’m doing it but I can’t help myself!
Sensory issues are another one that is super relatable to me. Soft touch is the devil. 😂
When you mentioned people making fun of a voice I related to that but I have been said to have a child's voice. Back before online orders I had to give the phone to someone with an "adult" voice for any orders to Pizza Hut to go through
I always get told I sound like a child especially over the phone. And then in person I speak way too softly or quietly so I'm always told to speak up but I think I sound fine so unless the person is hard of hearing I won't change my voice lol I become really upset if asked to change it.
Yes, child-like voice comments forever. AND both too quiet and too loud (mostly now it's too loud). Which means either shutting up and being "that girl who looks weird and doesn't contribute" or being annoying. Plus, I still have to work very hard not to sound like a professor and to use normal-people words, so....
I just recently realized and came to the conclusion that I may be autistic. I relate to so much of what you talked about. All the tests I've taken say I show significant signs of being autistic and should see a professional. Well, time to get diagnosed
Very comprehensive, helpful and insightful. I notice a number of these traits where I hadn't really thought about them before.
I feel with all of those.
Lots of good info here, thank you. I loved your explanation about how it can be difficult to understand other people's thoughts and perspectives at the same time as considering your own. You can reflect back later, but it's difficult in the moment. Yes, that makes so much sense for me. Also, expecting other people to read between the lines and just "get" what you are saying. Haha, my husband would agree. I'm saving this video to watch again!
When I was little they diagnosed me with adhd, I had a hard time focusing on things I didn't care about, I'm an adult now and I gotta say that It never really went away. Nice video, it kinda makes me want to talk to a psychiatrist again. On ampther note,, I prefer staying inside. Going outside and having to talk to people is like exhausting...technically I don't dislike the people(most of the time), I just assume everyone dislikes me. It's weird. I do the awkward eye stare thing, I stared at my old managers eyes intensely and forced a smile 😃 my cheek started to twitch and she asked me to relax lol no idea what I'm doing nowadays...I had to quit because I panicked on the 3rd day and couldn't see myself not making a mistake on people's orders...which made me very uncomfortable. idk I need to seek help probably. I also never know if I'm just exaggerating or if it's all in my head. A lot of the time I correct my actions outloud, like if there was another me making mistakes. It's not another me though...I think?? I still throw tantrums when something small changes in my made up schedule, even if I set up a schedule seconds before...you can't change it, or I'll get all weirdly uncomfortable idk mildly aggressive for no real reason. I've never been able to hold a "steady job" whatever the heck that is... anyways sorry to unload in a comment, I'm just wondering how many people relate. Thanks for your video~
I got diagnosed in my 50s, and every (I mean *EVERY*) single thing you listed, I've always done throughout my life. I keep beating myself up with Why didn't I recognize this before?
I know what you mean - I got diagnosed a few months ago at 55. The information just wasn't out there. Only steotypical traits were known, Rain Man etc. We had to mask traits in order to function/survive in the world. I get down about my late diagnosis too, but then I try to remember that basically anyone older than me likely never got to understand themselves at all. So we are lucky from that perspective.
@@danab3591 I called it 'Pretending to be normal by copying others'. I got into a lot of trouble for that.
Well done Stephanie! I knew this video was gonna be a winner! 100+ comments, this is a really good way of simplifying the DSM-V criteria and help other people relate! 😉 I’m this video will help lots of ppl, I hope it gets to more and more ppl! 🙌
If you are a adult reading this undiagnosed you could have learned to see social ques for your location, to smile at right times, to use your talking voice not natural voice, all of these things are forms of masking to seem "normal" so your not in trouble or questioned about them. If you remember having to learn to talk right or learn facial cues or non-verbal cues or learn how to actively participate in conversation instead of it being one sided(whether it was taught actively or by trial and error of making friends or chating) The things on this list are for diagnosis of young children (even the update for older people one doesn't account for masking if the psychiatrist doesn't care to check) so you may for the most part not actually fit with these while keeping up the mask to fit in society but if you can relax and let down your mask if you are autistic you should see a big difference in what your mind/body actually wants to do vs what you've allowed yourself to do to fit in. Most the times this can cause huge stress even if for a nurotypical your life would be perfect for you it could be to loud, to bright, to much talking, not enough outlets for body movement or vocal stems(even just humming or singing), to much smells, or just things that are casually in background and not paid attention to can actually be cause for your bad mood or headache/migraine(from stress of being around stuff). Especially if you're afab or minority where you are most often already taught at young age how to act how not to act in detail and punished if don't(even for nurotypicals) you could learn to mask early on and this be why you wasn't diagnosed. If going to therapy and them helping you become more yourself and stop caring about others opinions you start being more autistic then you was most likely masking without even realizing it.
If you feel like you relate to other autistics take the test a few times in different perspective (do the toddler check while looking at old video and based on family stories, do adolescent check using same things, do adult test yourself and give the test to someone who sees you as your most relaxed and real state not faking and let them fill out how they see you) if you get high marks on all of these you know it's right and if you have the money or need the accommodations then get diagnosed. But stigma does come with it so if your career would let you go or if you want to adopt one day and you don't need accommodations then just be self diagnosed and now you know what it is and how to help yourself and what accommodations to ask for without dx but do know your bio kids could be autistic and get them tested so they have help thru their childhood that they need.
I'm already certain I'm autistic, and most of this is applicable to me, but I haven't heard many people talk about some of them in most of the vids done by autistic people I've watched. Good vid. Thanks.
3:46 about the bullies was me!! I noticed that I was like this in elementary school! I do so many things that only sound like it could be autism but keep thinking it could be something else. If it's not autism. What is it? Or messes with my mental health daily. 😓
I have traits but don't meet criteria for an ASD diagnosis, especially as things in common are attributed to other diagnoses that fit better. Eg Bipolar = getting passionate about things, seeing patterns, talking over the conversation; PTSD = sensory sensitivities, aversion to touch, sensitive to sound, shutting down pain; social anxiety = avoiding eye contact. All 3 = social and communication impairments.
I hear the comorbid conditions you've been diagnosed with are how a lot of especially women are never diagnosed with ASD. I have never had the money to go to doctors who did more than diagnose me with anxiety or depression and offer me drugs for it that don't help, but would have the same situation, I'm sure.
@@tracybartels7535 psychiatrist said I fit PDD-NOS which is an older diagnosis but still current in NZ. Which has also called clinically signicant autism spectrum features. Nothing is done about it anyway. My primary diagnoses are still bipolar 1 & PTSD
Describing me 85%
51yrs and still get bullied. However, Im learning how to handle those that mistreat us!
Ill never forget being bullied in 3 rd grade, when SP untied my Hawaiian wrap around shorts and top, which left me nude standing on the sidewalk. The smells, ive always been picked on consistently!!so much more!!
I am 73. I have had a lot of time to adapt, many experieces to make me what I am. Like taking LSD in the late 60's and staring at the light fixture for two days or ten minutes. Time-bending. Drugs and music and the culture of the time.
Many traits you describe are there for me, but things have been molded by family and environment.
I don't fit in well with others, never did, except that I was the middle child of nine, with two nice parents and Grandma and Grandpa next door in small town Wisconsin. I fit in there,
and was only peculiar, not high-functioning autism.
But I eagerly left that world to be a hippie. I had to be free, not controlled by a narrow-minded society's concept of what a woman's roll should be.
I was a part of the anti-war movement, women's rights, etc.
Only six months ago I started looking into autism, continuing a life-long desire to understand myself.
I took several online autism evals, the forty-item tests. All came out high autism probability.
Seems impossible ? to get a full eval at this age. Medicare?
Few professionals can diagnose old/adult autism.
So why would I want an eval?
My siblings, relatives have thought I was "odd". I have felt judged very negatively when I have had melt-downs. Like screaming meltdowns are really just bad form and I should behave better.
So. I can't find any old autistic women to relate to.
If anyone has an idea??
Plus I live alone for many years but now am getting fearful og old age alone.
Omg I HATE it when people touch me as part of conversation, it even makes me anxious when I see people doing it to others. And then if I have my natural reaction and shirk away they get offended. 🤔 Like bruh you touched me without me asking you to, why are YOU offended?
I know right! Don’t touch me without asking and knowing me well. Why is this not the norm?
For a few years, I noticed that women of my age do that when trying to connect (literally as well as physically) with people. I spent literally years trying to learn when to do that so I could do it myself and therefore make friends, but alas! Even when I thought it was maybe an appropriate time, I couldn't bring myself to touch someone (I can do this with my kids, though now that they're teens, it's harder). I am both very uncomfortable with being touched and also very touched by being touched (ha!) because I felt that those women thought I was human, if that makes sense, while most people think I'm too weird and wouldn't touch me for that reason. I'm sure I would have hated the touch much more if I hadn't really liked them and wanted to be friends, and thought (incorrectly, as it panned out) that the touch meant more than it did. I'm amazed I ever got married considering I can't even do friendship.
I have about 60% of these traits. Another 10% I experienced as a child but quickly learned was not appropriate behavior. For example, I used to shake my fists when happy. Then my first grade teacher humiliated me in class, so of course I stopped doing it. I would repeat words under my breath. I still struggle with eye contact; I usually look at nose bridges or under eye lids. I just turned 35, so I know it will likely be much more difficult for me to get an evaluation, even more so because I'm AFAB :(
When I was in 5th grade, I used to blink a lot until one day, a kid tapped his friend on the shoulder, pointed at me, and started blinking very fast. It made me sad and angry, and I wanted to do something about it, but I didn't.
I talk backwards. I was on the local TV. Then people made my life a hell. I didn't wanted to go out anymore, streets were scary, people asked me constantly!
I don't know why I was able to have that "gift", it was annoying and affected me negatively. People did that.
Horrible, horrible days...
I had so many special abilities, not maths (I hate maths) just pool games and adults always lose with me.
I always was the phenomenon, it was extremely exhausting. I just wanted to play get fun and be good at something, but adults were mad at me...
Then I isolated and started to develop many issues... also I had music skills that were unusual. I readed adult books, Jules Verne and things like that. No smile, no talk, then my family broken me forever.
The flipping the light switches on and off and swinging doors open and shut used to get me into so much trouble as a kid. I just liked the sensory/tactile input it gave. Apparently it was "rude" and that's why I stopped.
I was diagnosed but only maybe like 20% of these things apply to me
A critical component of an ASD diagnosis is indicators of these traits and behaviors over a lifetime. Using (only) the current timeframe produces a distortion and may be contaminated by events that may be causing only short term issues. Hence, an in depth review of a lifetime of the issues you mention is very important. (Appreciate the emphatic disclaimer at opening.....Dr. TH-cam and Dr. Google are not something you want to trust your life to!)
Yes, and are tricky if everyone you knew at the time is gone. I know I was a toe-walker, and badly so. I remember some sensory stuff nobody else had (concrete and napkins) as a child, not wanting food to touch. I know I was quiet and anxious young (like between birth and age 5). I know it got worse at puberty which is common for girls when social requirements up significantly. I know I learned to read young and had a grown-up vocabulary and was considered an "old soul", but if someone from my youth needs to verify all this stuff, it's never going to happen and I'll just be "that weird failure of a person who can't act normally" for the rest of my life. I'm sure that's true for most people over 40, that nobody remembers that stuff if anyone from then is still even alive. It's unfortunate.
I only had to deal with bullying once in school. Some girls (I think) called my home phone and started say bad stuff about me. Normally that would upset a person, but just found it funny. I'm also amused by the emails I get saying someone accessed my Facebook account. Thing is, I don't have a Facebook account.
Also your light through fingers reminded me that I once sat in front of a glass door staring at strands of hair. Not only did I like the way the sun would glint off the hair, but I was fascinated by all the different colors. It seemed like having 'dirty blonde hair meant my hair was a mix of all other hair colors.
Recently got diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, sometimes I find it hard to differentiate some aspects of myself from either the autism effects or ADHD effects. Maybe its all the same as it`s part of my brain as a whole. I always realized I was "weird" but thought it was because of trauma but I just couldn`t make the connection between my weirdness and trauma.
The part that really made me realize I was autistic (post diagnosis) was about not understanding when people make fun of me, double meaning words and many times sarcasm. I remember being the center of the jokes and getting mad at my "friend" group and classmates because they were making fun of me and I realized that because it was way too obvious and cruel but many if not all times the jokes didn`t make any sense, still I got mad because I knew I was being mocked. That kind of thing happened way too many times and still happens from time to time and I thought it was just because I haven`t heard the joke before because I`ve been an introvert and rarely get along with the extroverts who tend to be on the mocking or joking side.
When I was diagnosed I didn`t really believe I had autism because of many stereotypes, but thanks to videos like these I now really understand why I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD by 2 professionals. This kind of information should really be learned by more people!
When you said the thing about sensory stuff including smell, I remembered back when I was a kid, up until I was like 14, whenever I went into a public restroom and went to wash my hands afterward, I would smell the soap. Every single time. My mom used to laugh because she thought it was cute. Eventually I started masking that too and now I get the urge but just smell it while I’m washing my hands cuz the smell travels. I also used to not drink milk if I could smell the tiniest of sourness. So like 3-4 days before the expiration. Nobody else could smell that it was bad yet. Now I can’t smell much of anything and it makes me sad :( always congested
I face people when I talk to them but I don't exactly make eye contact. If I'm not facing anyone I'm talking to myself.
What i want to know is where do i look when i’m being yelled at. I can’t look you in the eye, or you’ll think i’m mad dogging you or rolling my eyes or some shit, but if i look away it’s like “i’m over here dumb shit”
i’m tired of decoding neurotypicals.
Im late, but you’re meant to look at their legs, shoes, or neck. . Anywhere directly below their eyes seems to work? Idk how to explain it, but not to the left or right of them and not at their face
The only difference with me is that I understand that I don't give full context. So every time I speak I will download 30 minutes of information on the topic to the individual I'm speaking to. Then they never want to speak to me again or tell me they are busy and need to leave.
Was finally diagnosed with auDHD-c (& dyscalculia) in January, at long last. I'm 49.
That's a good list. Well phrased.
I'm not officially diagnosed, but I'm definitely autistic. I noticed that because I was anxious from a young age I became very good at masking. I realized only recently that I'm autistic because I have a really good friend group who I felt comfy enough to unmask around and slowly realized I was autistic because of that. I wanna point out that as a person who has a hyposensitivity to a lot of sensory input. Sometimes it can manifest as a lot of sensory seeking, wanting deep pressure, even aversion to eating bland foods and silence being physically painful.
Interesting! Usually people talk about being hypersensitive to stuff, can't relate to them either
I dont even know if I look in the eye when I talk to people
All true, and Lawdy, Lawdy, I love your delivery.
Thank you for this video! It was very informative & interesting. 👍
Wow, you just helped me to remember how I used to love turning on and off the light switch over and over again when I was little (when my parents told me it might break the light switch I stopped doing it but yeah)
Great points!
I am a special educator and I recognize these qualities!
This made me realize just how much I look at people’s mouths instead of their eyes lol
This is great. Thanks for sharing. I suppose at some point we all might have one or two of these. My fellow’s Dad does not understand quite why his son does not like to look him in the eyes.
Ah, “shifting uncomfortably”! That thing that people sometimes do in books... for some reason....
I think I must be on the spectrum. I spend most of my time alone now. I’m just exhausted trying to fit in.
Thank you! Good list. I think I am NT, not autism spectrum, but I've been around so many autistic ppl, in family, partner and friends, that I suspected myself having autism or adhd. Made many tests online.
But I think many NTs are drawn to autistic mates. Neurodiversity.
Diagnosed years ago, just wanting to know how my Asperger’s is holding up.
Yep, still going strong.
I have ADHD and it seems to me that Autism and ADHD are similar.
ADHD and Autism have a significant overlap. That is why it is not uncommon for a person diagnosed with ASD to also receive a comorbid diagnosis of ADHD. It is important that due to the close overlap of ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, OCD, and Schizophrenia (to list a few) there is a high rate of misdiagnosis. Unfortunately, many think if they have one, they have at least one of the other. This can lead to inappropriate, unnecessary, or ineffective treatments.
They are similar yes. Not the same, but similar.
So many of these seem focused on things related to "theory of mind,"/understanding others... So much so that I wonder if this video could almost lead someone to understand autism in a very outdated way? Yes, many autistic people struggle socially, but how much of that is due to the traumas that come from social interaction in a world that's cruel to those who are wired differently? I don't know... I feel conflicted about this video. I relate so much more strongly to the second half than the first, and it makes me wonder if I shouldn't seek a diagnosis, but on the other hand, maybe my development was just influenced by those traumas differently than other autistic individuals' trauma? I get so lost and confused thinking about all of this. There are autistic advocates who want to move away from thinking of autism as a "social" disorder and frame it more in terms of sensory experiences, ways of thinking, etc. But on the other hand autism is currently framed with "social" at the center of the concept. I do struggle socially yet at the same time I found myself not relating to the first half... I really don't know. A part of me is afraid to seek a diagnosis, or thinks it's pointless if I'll never be confident in the categories or criteria, or in whether or not I meet them.
SAME!!!!!!!!!! omg!!! i think ur/were just as valid tho. isnt that like the point of the spectrum/dimension? no two autistics being the same? this felt like putting it in a tight box. fuck idk sorry im not eloquent idk if anything im saying rn is like comprehensible enough lol. i dont feel like i struggle too much in the social aspect, at least not in the way described in the video, maybe its that masking thing, i think i understand cues well enough, but am still too "odd", divergent from normal or expected. not a textbook/stereotype example, but tbh idk what else it could be other than autism.. all the sensory and feeling-like-an-alien with the way i think and exist. def comorbid with other nd stuff like c-ptsd, adhd (and possibly bpd? idk im not feeling that one much tho), but i cant just scratch the autism out of the equation, it wouldnt make sense. regarding diagnosis, idk if i "need" it, not atm, but ill def discuss it with my psychiatrist (and try to challenge her knowledge a bit? see how she sees this stuff, offer a pov?). god im so glad i saw ur comment. thank you for not making me feel alone. hope stuff goes well for you, may you get the conclusions/care/peace youre searching for.
'Is it a comedy skit?' cuz it is funny like hell
Another thing with toys that's overlooked is how you play with dolls. When I was little I never did any imaginative play with my dolls or toys, it was always just dressing them, and undressing them. or setting up a scene and then taking it down. never actually creating a story around it.
That's what I remember. I thought that was everyone? What else does one do with them? Put them in a car and push it. Put them on a boat and push it around the pool. Give them tiny books and toys. I'm not sure about the stories. I don't even remember friends doing stories, but maybe some did?
Over a decade ago, I once saw a person lick a person's cheek and asked why did he lick her face and literally everybody around me started laughing, I didn't find what I said funny at all.
I once mentioned how I have never masked on a comments section during an IndiAndy and some random person got really angry at me and said of cause you mask, well it was that person issue.
I've always stuck out.
when i read the first line i immediately thought "jojo reference?!"
@@MinecraftIsLoveMinecraftIsLife I have no idea what a jojo reference is?
@@MartKart8 there is an anime called jojo's bizarre adventure and at the start of part 5 one character licks another character's cheek to see if he's telling the truth. the moment has been memed a lot. referencing jojo is a meme.
@@MinecraftIsLoveMinecraftIsLife Oh I see, I don't really watch anime's.
I notice that nearly all these descriptions fit my younger self, but not my current self. Only some of these descriptions fit my current self, but then again, I may think that I've changed more than I usually have. Socially, I believe I changed once my mentor began telling me what was unacceptable and once I began social media, where I could observe how typical people communicate and try to imitate that. But for the first 14 years of my life? I very much had autistic traits.
Interesting how to speak in a more formal way was the rule 70 or 80 years ago.
@Stephanie Bethany ....Completely off subject do you know what happened to or where possibly mindful divergence Carol Bird disappeared to I know TH-cam was giving her a hard time and then I just lost track of her and I can't seem to find her anywhere Also oh my gosh what happened to Andy? Sorry for the sore subject... I'm just lost without knowing thank you
When I was a kid I was really quiet, I had friends but only 2 or 3. Like it was like library quiet up until I had to be loud because my parents complained about it to me so much that I would remind myself to be loud until I got used to it
I hate it when my cousins would visit they would always leave my room like a trash dump I wanted to cry when they spilt my jar of random plastic things
Unfortunately the therapist I went too didn't know how to listen and my mom was just overwhelming
Yup. This is me.
Im undiagnosed but son is. I identify with most of the points in this video.
I don't see the point of being diagnosed since im already gone through life without help and the government won't give me any freebies.
Yes these things are very autistic traits and l do lots of them but not all. Being a female who got a recent diagnosis very late in life, l became very puppet like ( l camouflage ) to try and fit in and a people pleaser too. l didnt even notice that l do this to the degree l do until after my diagnosis. The other interesting thing that l am just starting to learn about with my ASD is my clumsiness my being accident prone my flexible joints my wide gate and strange walk that also includes a short stride with my knees pushing back and very ridged. Question for you Steph, could you do some detective work on ASD and physical traits like wide gate, flexibility and things l listed above. I'm sure you will find more things to add. I have only recently started looking into this and l would like to know more and am wondering how many others with ASD have some of these traits. Thanks 😊
I know dyspraia-like traits and dyspraxia and apraxia are commonly seen in autistic people. I've also seen, anecdotally, a lot of autistic people mention comorbid ehlers-danlos which has to do with connective tissue.
I shall have to do more research into these. For me its funny how l had good balance as a teenager and could do the things l did, but they were also the years l had most of my accidents. I think that there are many things linked with autism that not much is known about and many things yet to be discovered. I hope this happens as l believe it could be very helpful to ppl with ASD as long as we are not used as guinea pigs or less human in the process. Still hopeful that you might be able to do a chat on those things l mentioned earlier. Thanks for your reply 😊
PS your hair looks fantastic 👌
Yes
Oh I learned to understand what people imply.
I understand implications way too well. If I say someone said something what I mean is they implied it
I really want a diagnosis. But don't know when I'll finally get to have a diagnosis.
Honestly this is why 100% anti-self dx peeps kinda make me mad. not everyone has the resources to get an official diagnosis but sometimes a self diagnosis is correct years before an official one is given (or in my case not a self dx but my mother went to my psychiatrist with a big binder filled with research and documentation of reasons she believed i was autistic and my doctor wouldn't entertain the notion because i wasn't comfortable enough around him to unmask. After 10 solid years of treatment and receiving every other diagnosis under the sun he finally said "okay yeah you may be autistic" and i went through further evaluation. self dx should be able to help lead to a professional diagnosis in most cases, but for some it just helps knowing what's causing them to experience the world the way they do and then they can move on with a further understanding of themselves.
@@superzooperhaze6597 I wasn't even the one to think I was autistic. My husband has diagnosed me. And it makes total sense. I just don't have that official diagnoses because I don't even have a doctor to go to to get a referral.
I am very good at going on tangents when it comes to the bible, or the way things are in society, like what we see in the news, so I am thinking I might go to an English school to become a news paper writer, or Bible school to be a pastor. Where I am living right now though, I am not allowed to talk about those things, so I experience selective mutism at home.
Do you think telling a prospective employer that you are autistic would hurt your chances of getting the job? Is it illegal to discriminate against autistic people?
Man this is SOOOO relatable!!!
yup, i need to talk to my therapist
everytime i see candles in a store i have to stop and smell them
Most people.. Don’t? I’m guessing that means that, of the people that DO, most don’t find a scent they hate, flinch, and get a headache for the rest if the day either, huh?-
I HAVE ALL OF THOSE BESTIE
Will you need help! Get in touch with Rich Cooper 🇨🇦 You need help Will, you really do! 💪
I can relate to starting topics in the middle. Just assuming that to get to the middle the previous content can be implied.
Me and lil bro plus step siblings and cousins have most of these traits. Lol bro would line up his toys so would I. We both rock. He rocks to movies while I'll rock to music. He will repeat random fraces he heard in TH-cam videos with no context lol. My cousin Shawn takes jokes literally Wich has almost gotten him arrested once. Basically at the airport he forgot to take his laptop out if the bad. The security guard jokingly said there's a 15 doller fee to that. He takes it literally and pulls a 20 doller bill out Wich to everyone else looks like a bribe Wich is illigal. Luckily the guy picked up on the fact he didn't understand it was a joke and let him go. I've also had so many customers joke with me and I just take it literally. Or even if I know it is a joke I have to respond as if it wasn't for some reason.
Not technically related to your video but I thought you should know I just got an Autism Speaks midroll ad on this. I'm not sure if you have any control over what ads can and cannot play, but even if you can't do anything about it I thought you should know.
It would be ironic to find out at my age I was on the spectrum. I find I experience many of the things you spoke of. I don't like being touched; can only wear certain fabrics due to how they feel against my skin. I often wish I could be sound selective. Certain sounds cause me anxiety. I often wear earplugs during the day to dampen noises. I do stim, but mostly when feeling anxiety. lol I tend to look at mouths or chins when talking not their eyes.
Idk man. Seems like it to me it's the neurotypical people that ask inappropriate or invasive questions
Wow this is quite a long list. I do relate to some of them. What percentage of these traits would make one autistic? I'd say I can identify with about half of them.
Is it possible to have some/many symptoms/traits of autism but not be autistic?
I object. What IS irrational is the need to move furniture for no apparent reason! You say redecorating, I say vandalism 😂
Also if you have a difficult time understanding people have different thoughts to you you might be Twitter. hehehe