I have been practicing giving myself space between the event and my reaction to it. If my husband says or does something that upsets me, I don't go to him about it immediately anymore. I give myself the time to journal about what happened and why it upset me so much. Once I've gotten clarity over not just the situation but my feelings about it, I'm able to approach him in a way that is respectful and non-confrontational. I do the same thing with my kids, instead of immediately reacting, I give myself time to get clear on what I'll say. Journal first, react second :) I'm not perfect at it, sometimes I still get on to them right away but I'm much better at catching myself before I do. As with anything in life, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. ♡
Thanks for sharing this Ellie! This is something I’ve been working on with my husband too. I love how the journaling often helps me see my part in disagreements that I might not otherwise see or understand. And how in taking ownership of that it allows me to feel better (more empowered, and less like the one who was “wronged”). I’m with you that it really helps in the discussions that follow. 🥰
A good place to start might be to ask yourself if there is anything you did in your younger years that you really enjoyed but have put by the wayside for some reason. Another good exercise might be to brainstorm and create yourself a bucket list. Here’s a link to a blog post I wrote with some thoughts on this. Lastly I’d suggest writing down each day one thing that made you happy so that over time you can see in black-and-white the simple things that you enjoy doing right now. Then the challenge is to radically simplify and organize life in a way that you can make space for some of these things now instead of having to wait until you retire. Hope this helps. 💜
I have been practicing giving myself space between the event and my reaction to it. If my husband says or does something that upsets me, I don't go to him about it immediately anymore. I give myself the time to journal about what happened and why it upset me so much. Once I've gotten clarity over not just the situation but my feelings about it, I'm able to approach him in a way that is respectful and non-confrontational.
I do the same thing with my kids, instead of immediately reacting, I give myself time to get clear on what I'll say. Journal first, react second :) I'm not perfect at it, sometimes I still get on to them right away but I'm much better at catching myself before I do. As with anything in life, the more you practice it, the easier it becomes. ♡
Thanks for sharing this Ellie! This is something I’ve been working on with my husband too. I love how the journaling often helps me see my part in disagreements that I might not otherwise see or understand. And how in taking ownership of that it allows me to feel better (more empowered, and less like the one who was “wronged”). I’m with you that it really helps in the discussions that follow. 🥰
What are some activities men can start doing now that they can continue to do during retirement?
A good place to start might be to ask yourself if there is anything you did in your younger years that you really enjoyed but have put by the wayside for some reason. Another good exercise might be to brainstorm and create yourself a bucket list. Here’s a link to a blog post I wrote with some thoughts on this. Lastly I’d suggest writing down each day one thing that made you happy so that over time you can see in black-and-white the simple things that you enjoy doing right now. Then the challenge is to radically simplify and organize life in a way that you can make space for some of these things now instead of having to wait until you retire. Hope this helps. 💜