How to become non-reactive to people
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2021
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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They want a reaction out of you, because it gives them power to bully you, control you etc, but when you stop reacting, they loose interest in you and then they go after the next person
Yes I believe you and they is stupid 🙏🙏🙏
Truth
@Spam Email There’s a difference btw “reacting” and “responding”. Reacting is knee-jerk, and disempowering (which is the topic of the video), and Responding involves making a conscious choice of how you want to respond whilst maintaining your power and self-respect. Reacting - bad.
Responding - good
Yep.
Oh move on abuser...
Thank you. I keep forgetting that we’re dealing with essentially spoiled children here that never grew up. It’s our responsibility to show boundaries and be the adult.
Yes!
Nefer Unfortunately, it's not usually caused by spoiling children though, because I've known many highly narcissistic people, including my parents and other family members, over the years and most experienced extreme trauma, especially physical and sexual abuse.
It depends on various factors as to why children go more to one end of the spectrum or the other and being at the other end certainly isn't healthy either.
I don't mean to defend horrendous behaviour towards others; however, I do feel upset sometimes when people blame children for surviving whatever way they can. I'm aware that they can make the choice as adults, yet it's not that simple and many targets of narcissistic individuals will never be able to do their healing work either. 😥
@@cyndigooch1162 I agree, I was abused too as a child and could have gone down the same path as my parents abusing others, but I chose not to. I chose to break the cycle. I find it childish that they should choose otherwise and I am still working on trying to forgive those who choose to perpetuate abuse and trauma.
Exatamente! 👏🏻👏🏻
@@cyndigooch1162 🙂 Hi Cindy, I think what you said is really important! So many people are labeled as Narcissistic, when in fact they’re just self centred, selfish people. My sister and 2 brothers really believe our mom has been a Narcissist, all along. One of her 5 brothers sexually assaulted her when she was 10, and she has never felt it important to get professional help for that. She’s been so angry, resentful of folks, and hugely insecure her whole life. She’s 94 and it’s been sad watching her and how she’s lost close relationships. Everything is about her, even when my hubby & I experienced a still birth. It almost ruined me, but God was there! My mom somehow turned that situation around and made it about her😢 It was too much to deal with. So what you have explained makes good sense. I think she’d be Bi-polar, but I can’t make any diagnosis!😊 And yes, we all need to be careful not to throw around labels too freely!😁 Thanks again.
I was taught to do this by my father. I had a five years older sister who was,(still is, in her late 60s), a malignant narcissist at the very least. My dad said, "Just don't react. That's what she wants you to do."
@ Louise
I have that same sister. She's in her 70s and she loves attention. My dad said she comes after me out of jealousy. Going on since I was 15. She's so evil and vindictive.
Wow with a straight face very good very good.
Just make fun of her lol
My mom would tell me this too. Dont react that is what they want. I was usually feeding into it.
Not reacting is literally a superpower. Thanks for this video! Such a great topic 💕
And you get to walk away with a smile.😁
YESSS!
In a limit but
@@mikereiss4216 can you explain me how that's better ?
I finally realized that just trying to explain myself was enough of a reaction to feed my narc. "friend". This is a person I cannot avoid d/t social obligations. I needed this video thanks!
Good observation 👍
Then the more you explain… you are suddenly “needy.”
Never explain yourself to people like this just cut off contact. It's really easy because they don't have feelings that can be hurt like normal people. If it's about work and you must speak with them then yes speak with them, if not just ignore them. I was in a similar situation and yes I ignored her and she latched on to someone else. 😉 My plan worked out for me.
Oh my goodness this is my situation 😩😩😩 this video is needed
You are so right! And I'm pretty healthy but not perfect from 35 and ongoing therapy.
I grew up with a mother like this... And we were taught to respect adults and rightfully so, BUT what if the adults act like children. That can really mess with your psyche.
When you are a kid, you know something doesn't feel right, but developmentally you do not yet have the skills, tools to know how to address, handle this. Our mom caused A LOT of problems in the family between me and my siblings and though it has been many years since both our parents have passed on, we still are not close. A big reason is that I have gotten healthy and will not tolerate rudeness, sarcasm or disrespect.
Healthy people know better. It's been a long journey to get to this place, but was worth what I now know!
1¹
I have realize now that if you had a narcistic mother, you most likely did not have good relationship with your sibling. You are alone. But feeling lonely is much better than being abused.
My story exactly.
Glad you were able to transcend this. My father behaved like a child with alcoholism and violence thrown in. Took years of counselling to sort my head out. We can only work on ourselves. Accepting we can't change others saves our energy and sanity.
Narcissistic mother is very difficult... Mine loves to control by using religious beliefs as a controlling instrument..
I’m a narcissist’s worst nightmare, lol. I always act like whatever they said was A positive reinforcement, or a compliment to me. Example -
Them: Are you gaining weight?
Me: YES! I am, thanx for noticing!
It's very satisfying to put them in their place, because they so richly deserve it!
@@lindahandley5267 But does it stop them?
@@candykelly2705 From what I've read and seen on here, I don't think anything will stop them, but at least you give YOUR reaction and you have the choice to get them out of your life. I don't think I've ever met a full-blown narcisissist. It sounds like a nightmare.
@@lindahandley5267 It is; I worked with one for years. She was so good at manipulation, it took me years to realize she is a narcissist. I chose not to respond to some backhanded compliments. When she rudely pointed out some flaw in my appearance, I would smile and say, "How KIND of you to point that out. I'll do the same for you some time!" When she would try and bully me to do something, and would just calmly say, " No, I don't think that's a good idea". Sometimes I would just smile and shrug my shoulders and walk away. It drove her nuts! 🤣 Unfortunately, there were times when she got sneaky and tried to burn me, but the owner and my fellow administrator always had my back. Sad thing is, she was also a friend
@@kathynicholson103 I guess it's hard for us 'normal' people to believe that people can be so underhanded. They have a serious problem!
Dealing with Narc relationship is sooo exhausting, mentally, physically and spiritually. That's all I can sum it up.
Sooooo exhausting ☹️
You don’t need these pain in the neck people in your life
Life's way too short to waste it on someone like that.
Lance we can't give up, it's time for us to learn a new word and that is fight, fight fight and I don't mean physically.
I still have to deal with a narc ex husband because we have children together but at least now I can choose if I answer his text or phone calls. I don’t have to deal with him on the daily. In a few years my kids will be grown adults and then I look forward to not dealing with him at all!!
Your videos have helped me grow in self awareness and get rid of my toxic behaviours and deal intelligently with toxic people and become a mentally healthier individual. Thanks!
I’m so glad they have helped!!! 🙌
Thank You Stephanie Lyn clear and to the point
I love the way you're using this information to help you in your dealings with others... AND, turning the microscope on yourself to improve you own behaviors! I'm doing the same. Not letting my sister GUILT me into doing what she wants me to and not trying to manipulate my grown children (kinda hard 'cause it's a 'Mom thing'!) Overall, I think it will lead to better relationships!
Perfect timing! I'm struggling with a condescending coworker right now. These types of videos are so helpful!!
The condescending one is the most insecure. Co workers like that bring their personal issues to work and take it out on others. I know because I'm working with one.
It’s a practice so welcome the behavior so you can practice this 🙌
Ignore her and only talk about work related issues if you MUST talk to her.
Never worry about hurting her feelings because people like that don't get their feelings hurt like normal people.
@@kynathomas4809 - Yes, very true and well said.
@@lenebrantley221 True. I work with one, probably several but one young lady in particular comes to mind.
If you feel the need to constantly ober-explain to somebody, it is a Red flag to either check out your codependency or the toxicity of the relationship. Thank you.
i think my thing is i try to do my best not to talk alot but its just rlly hard i dont intentionally do this out of toxicity i j need somebody to talk to me or i j go crazy basically idk u seem smart i could explain more but legit this is my fkn point.
I learned how to tell a family member NO. Then not explain why. Feels SO So good! In fact, this just recently happened. I don't respond like I use to. LOVE IT!!!
She has to grow up.
.... don’t hold your breath ....
It gives you back what they try to take from you.
That's right! No explaining. I get to be me and so do you and so do they. Live and let live. Maintain my peace.
Now THAT is freeing yourself. I wish all little kids were schooled in this stuff and then they'd also understand earlier, what is appropriate behavior for them.
@@theresadoll5374 I think it doesn't matter if the other grows up.
By reacting to the abusive person you are enabling them to continue their abuse towards you. Don't explain or defend your position. You need to be in control of your emotions and not let the abusive person control you. Getting a reaction from you is the fuel that keeps them going. Emotionally they are little children in an adult body. These tactics worked for them as a child, but don't allow these tactics to work for them now.
When you’re living close 24 7 and without reacting to them they continue the onslaught. Then what. It will eventually get you down it hurts
@@janicegreenwood1019 that's an unbearable situation, and even the strongest individual would have difficulty dealing with that abuse. Prayers that you will find a way out and save yourself.
Wife loves negative attention. She equates love with my fighting for her affection, emotional depth and spiritual connection. So denying me those things keeps me in a constant loop of abuse. So toxic man
@@BCHODOSH01
I’m in a different state It’s better for sure. I just am reminding myself that it’ll be the same if I return. We’re from different planets. I found out by spending a year living together.
I made my escape from what I thought was a beautiful love story.
A prison in a sense instead.
Jealousy control. Demands. Critical all he wants to do is watch tv all day smoke pot a go for beer runs and tell lies snd stories. Talk about his ex’s
He’s now in the hospital with a serious condition pad. Also diabetes hep c. Cirrhosis esophageal varices can’t think straight. Omg. I feel terribly sad for him. He would love nothing more than for me to run back and take care of him. The medical doesn’t scare me. It’s his attitude. Alcoholism depression and outlook anger at everything. It doesn’t stem from being sick. He’s always been angry volatile critical and demanding and ungrateful. Other than that ……..
I guess I fell in love with his charm and love bombing at the beginning.
Nothing like the first time you find yourself NOT hastening to correct someone who launches a vile scurrilous outrageous incorrect unfair assumption about you your way but just smile and let it lay without cotrecting them degending yourself or rushing to set the record straight because who gives a fuck if you show youre better than all that to someone who thinks so vile in the forst place.
Its incredibly funny and freeing to be like ' sure buddy, im the villain, im the trash lol and leave them to stew in that mess
And walk off untouched
You answer to you amd yours
And God if and as you feel that force or entity
ITS A GOID FEELING.
NOT TO BE A GOIDY-GOIDY OR PLEASER
& NOT TO HAVE A CARE ABOUT A REPUTATION
Let people who see ugly and manufacture sordid messes and fascinations BE
THEYRE SUFFERING ENOUGH
Sometimes I am so off guard, then I have to grieve some friendships thinking they where one way and then they are another. Then I have to process the occurrences, then distance myself them from my inner circle. In the past I thought it was me at fault then after educating myself, I realized I was dealing with unhealthy people.
Understanding that what comes from others, in word or deed, is an expression of their dream, or nightmare as the case may be, and is never to be taken personally. That was my first step toward becoming bomb-proof. Thank God!
The courage it takes to be a person,
the discipline required for integrity,
the stature needed for poise & resilience,
Heart centered to be true in self being,
the endeavor in overcoming ego,
the pain of transformation,
the love of life so seeking thyself,
accepted sacrifice and rising Spirit,
through trials and errors, convictions,
so revealed recognition in sight,
having climbed the mountain within,
severing the lines that held you back,
cutting the ties that bound you up,
attention is giving of energy,
direct focus inwardly, invest in self,
to correct a fool is folly,
talking to a wall is pointless,
associate with the stars, sun and moon,
boundaries not to encapsulate yourself,
in discipline no need of,
rather a Universal code to be honored,
to be sought after engaged in,
reacting is not bad,
not acting first is what's sad,
don't catch their drift,
nor be 45yr old with a mind of a toddler,
the courage it takes to be a person,
to stand tall amongst the trees,
all directed to the light,
and in this light is sovereignty,
Wow that's awesome! Thank you for sharing!!
Amazing.
Beautifully said.
Thank you
Beautiful , Thankyou
Another dynamite video that cuts right to the basics of human behavior. Bravo 👏
I’m so reactive. Lol so I’m glad I found this because I want next year to be about not reacting anymore. I literally am burned out and I would like to refocus that energy on things I’m passionate about.
I totally agree with you! What a relief, right?!
This happens to me a lot on here with atheists or a different political party. My first reaction is to attack back, and the few times that I've been really 'nice', they stop bothering you! LOL.
You can do this.
Cirella I see what happens is you eventually get tired and beat down. You will either break or you will come out fighting. Enough, now the fight is on for you to win.
This is where I'm at right now
I keep my peace by being nonreactive to ignorance. It definitely makes you feel more confident as well. You're a beautiful soul🌹thank you dear 🌹
People need to say what they mean and mean what they say. Clear communication devoid of emotion.
Ok Mr Joe
Hi! Thanks for this important lesson. I’m in the middle of this with my 24 year old. I’m standing my ground. She now tried guilting me and insulting me and says she won’t have anything to do do with me moving forward. That’s a hard one to swallow. But I have to take care of me.
I hear you! Hard when it’s one of our “adult” kids! I’m slowly learning to REACT with a mostly blank, but loving expression, lol. Mines 18. Sigh…
@ Bo Hahnfeld
Say goodbye with love! And take care of you. Been there done that as a parent! It works.
Good for you! I had to do the same with a dear Aunt that raised me after the death of my parents when I was young. As I grew into an adult, and after losing my husband and her losing my Uncle, I spent every free minute with her, I took her to the doctor, the market, shopping, cleaned her house, cooked. She was getting up in age and I did everything I could to make her life easier. I loved her with all of my heart, because she and my Uncle had taken me in and gave me a good life until I moved out and got married. Long story short, she knew how to control me and push my buttons. I finally had enough and had to set boundaries with her. Once I did, things went a lot smoother. Don't let your child bully you!
sending you hugs of support.
I find that hard to believe, seeing how parents have Power Over their children. Likely this is her telling you the truth that you can't handle. Likely she is still suffering from complex trauma.
We're also over-reactive due to the fear and anxiety during this time, for such a long time; the anger spewing right now is terrible with the high level of divisiveness. I'm afraid it will stay like this, but hopefully when things calm down, people will calm down and bring back respect, manners and kindness.
Yes, and we have to pray like we've never prayed before for God's help. These are not fun times.🙏
Great timing with this one for me. I encountered that very situation a few weeks ago. I just didn't react or engage. It was interesting to observe the confusion as all of her well used manipulations had no affect.
When someone throws you a ball, you can choose not to catch it but just watch it pass you by instead.
I used to be friends with someone who’d regularly make out of pocket comments. Often times in large groups. I quickly learned it was her way of trying to get attention. I fully distanced myself from her 2 years ago and others have done the same. It goes to show reactive people are in no way attractive, but repellant.
Same to me - I used to be friend with someone who was nice at the beginning of our friendship. I am 61 years old and she is 28 year old, with a little nice boy of 7 year. I'm living for my self and she and her son are also doing that. We are neighbors in some houses with a lot of flats: 9 houses with about 8 flats in each one of those houses) one mile from our central city - out in the country. Nice and good place to live in.
I moved in to my flat for about 7 years ago and she and her son moved in for about 4 years ago. At first we only say "Hi" to each other but very soon it was small talk when we see each other; taking the bus to out town into the city etc. Then it was "Do You want a cup of coffee and little talk?" and then it was being more like: Do You want to come over for the evening for a glass of wine ... It was very friendly between us all the time. No argues or harm feelings - we get very well together. My opinion of course.
But suddenly after 2 years I notice that something wasn't really Ok. She started after 2 years to insinuate things that I had said. Things I did not had sad. Very odd things. I told her I did not say what she told me - but she ignored it. She started to insinuate that I should do things like dating her friends (older men at my age etc) and she start to talk very badly about other neighbors. She started to triangulate people around: neighbors etc. I told her that I did not gonna to talk like that about people and neither dating her friends. She did a lot of intrigants things and talking and suddenly I understand and recognize that she really was doing what a narcissist is doing.
Why I say she is a narcissist? Well - I have live earlier with a covert narc for 12 years - so I know for sure. Nowadays I have quit my friendship with her since a couple of month. It did not work at all as it seldom do with narcissists.
With my story I want You to remember: It's not always You have a narcissist in Your Family or in a partner. You can find them everywhere: even at work or in a "friend".
So Take care of You - out there!
My big sister is that way. She controls and tolerates no different opinion. She uesd to rule my world. I am the little one to care for. Another sis keeps telling me they would intergrate me If I were this or that way. My parents watched the Game.
Your terrific video came at such a perfect time for me! I’ve finally begun to start looking out for me and the backlash is just as you describe. Over the top temper tantrums, veiled threats, guilt, withdrawal, shame, trashing me to others. Understanding what this behavior is about soothes me and reinforces that I am doing the right thing. I also ‘get’ that people who do this are not our friends and never cared about us, it was just about what we could do for them. Thank you so much, Stephanie!!
Sometimes these people do care but never knew how to care for themselves
Wow. Very healing. I just had a medical scare from the stress of living with an adult child that I am finally setting boundaries with. This video helped me to see a whole different perspective and to realize it's a waste of time in taking the bait.
The thing is - I really like people and I get to know people just by talking to them and treating them like humans.
Omg I really needed this right in this moment of time 😂
Isn't it interesting how certain videos pop up.... exactly when you need them!?
I love when that happens 🙌
Me too I have a “friend” who won’t go away. I think I have to move and change my number like destinys child. 🤦🏽♀️
We don't talk enough about toxic parenting
@@StephanieLynCoaching am stuck in a cycle... Where we fight and argue with my boyfriend and I find myself exploding and he sits there in silence and just talks in a low tone while am shouting. And I really hate it...... I hate how I react and behave when I get angry and he blames me for it
My boss says that I am a little too good at not reacting. 🤣
LOL...👏👏👏 Good for you!!
Great compliment🙂👍🏾
I am too.
Watching your vid has taught me so much & has totally improved my relationships with others
Yay I’m so happy!! 💕
Tonnisha deonn ret make it me and you
This video blows my mind. I have never wanted to control anyone or a situation (due to being a people pleaser, I guess) so it shocks me that there are people out there who do want such control. I am slowly realising I have friends like this and I have gave in to them to make them feel better. I feel like an idiot. I just subscribed and I will watch more of your videos. Thanks.
I have a friend just like this 😂🤣😂🤣 She’s so mad she doesn’t have control over me anymore she won’t talk to me lol
Same happened to me recently 🤣🤣 my friend was so upset with my values and not bending to her requests, that she stopped to talk to me 🙄🤪 and guess what? She fells offended and a victim here 😳
@@happygoluckystar8069 Did you get accused of, or asked why you were being mean?
@@happygoluckystar8069 DAVRO 😂👍
And there you go..
@Jessica - Lucky you!!! One down, xxx? more to go.
The descriptions you have given perfectly describes why we are inundated with “Karens” and others who refuse to take “no” for an answer.
Lost interest at Karen’s 🙄
I literally just dealt with a coworker who I allowed to draw me into his Narcissistic game…again. Geesh, I know better too. After I reacted, by lashing out back at him, and then removed myself, angrily from the situation, I at least was able to analyze the situation and learn from it. Reprogramming a deep neuro pathway of reacting, does take time. And no doubt, there will be many opportunities to practice on becoming better at it. Yaaah. Bring it on brother! 🥳
Thanks for this Steph. You rock.
🦸🏻♀️
Love your perspective. Basically, we are teaching the offender, what they did not learn, early on. We give them the gift of growth. And future wise, we reap a healthy relationship, in return. At least, a possibility. In the meantime, we protect ourselves. Presentation very eye-opening. Thank you so much.
I like when she says you want control and you don't have it.
Well articulated in a "user friendly way". I am truly appreciative. I am in the midst of reprogramming myself as well as my bio family, and my chosen family. It is very stressful at times. I was raised to think that the way I process the world is wrong. It lead to anxiety and depression I simply could not define. I now know exactly how to define it and am coming into conflict with people in my life. I am not always gracious, I am exhausted in regard to saying the same thing, over and over. In other words I have BLOWN up a few times. So the next step is for me to manage my emotions more effectively- in a way that is healthy for me.
Watched one of your videos almost 5 years ago & it changed my life. Thank you so much for what you do! I come back every now and then to say thank you! ❤❤
it really does help to step back and detach yourself a bit and see the person and their behavior for what it actually is: a childish tantrum to get what they want by whatever manipulation worked for them in the past. Seeing that they are mentally ill and have issues makes it easier for me to walk away and sometimes even feel sorry for them.
Thank God i found this. This is what i need to" face "my husband & his family. Thank you so much !
I’m struggling with this massively and it’s affecting me so badly, even physically now with high blood pressure and depression. I can’t seem to master this
Don’t worry about mastering something that will not stop a selfish narcissist. Cut them off. Period.
@@rs5570 totally agree
It’s lots of work to sort this out. I still on this jornee. .. private life path now. Planing to relocate to Wisconsin soon
Give it up to the Highest Power..and leave it there
I'm so sorry to hear that. It's affecting your health and happiness. Please find a way out of this situation. I wish you the very best.
This video really speaks to me and my relationship with my Narc. It’s EXACTLY what I have been going through and why I suffer such backlash when I stand my ground. Thank you so much for this affirmation. I really needed to hear this from someone other than myself.
I learned how to go silent. Silence hurts ppl more than saying vile words to them. I also learned that my presence is a present!!! So when I remove myself from the situation or the person, they have to sit with the last words they said to me and then figure out where they went wrong. When they realize I am no longer interested in the relationship/friendship they try to come back. But life for me is moving forward so I don’t make u-turns.
I had a really close friend a few years ago and slowly, she began to make slight, little remarks to me...nothing I could really put my finger on, but left me feeling some sort of way. There are a lot of details I won't bore you with, but when we didn't see each other for several days, we'd email just to stay in touch. One day I got a strange email from her that said, 'you probably won't be hearing from me, unless I have something to say, I have such a boring life.' I was pretty baffled by it and I'm sure she thought that I was going to say, 'oh, what's wrong'? 'Did I do or say something to upset you?' I had seen the red flags starting to pop up and I simply said back to her, 'YOU GOT IT'! We haven't spoken in 8 years. The thing is that we both have the same group of women friends, and she ended up shooting her ownself in the foot! She's missed out on some fun get-togethers. I have enough self-respect, that when I feel someone isn't treating me right, I'm done. It's HER loss! Nobody needs that negativity in their lives!
There was a slight chance she was suffering with Depression and really meant what she wrote. Just a thought .
@@Hollyhock7 exactly. Seems like she was misunderstood by her all friends , and might have been feeling lonely from a long time.
I ended a 9 year friendship with a woman I liked a lot in 2022. We had had a lot of good fun and conversations .
I thought we were close - we shared many feelings.
But in the 6th year of our friendship she began talking down to me
a few times - acting very superior and high handed. This was bothersome and I was preparing to address it but one day she unloaded the resentments she had about me.
Said she could no longer trust me. She had been stuffing things she didn’t like about my behavior into a “gunnysack” going back 3+ years !!! And yet she continued inviting me over to her home for swimming and meals and suggesting we go out to movies and to lunch. All the while she was resenting me. What nonsense. She wasn’t a true friend. True friends can air differences and object to things without being nasty and talking down. I decided she was not to be trusted.
I get in worse trouble for not reacting to the person “handling” me, pointing out my flaws, lack of boundaries, or teaching me how to handle life.
You've hit the nail on the head when dealing with toxic people
WOW!!! This nailed it for me. This is my Son n we’ve been doing this dance for abt 25 years!! I’m worn down with it but So Much Stronger in my own skin n life n NOT giving in. However... ANY response is what he wants. Guilt n Shame are his tactics!!! This video helped SOOOO MUCH STEPHANIE!! THANK YOU
So clear when you explain the situation with relatable examples. Just came across your videos and immediately subscribed.
This is always such a good reminder to hear from time to time!
I did these to my daughter. I sent you to my daughter so she can be non-reactive to all who does it. I’ve already stopped doing it. I was different then. Now she has a roommate just like I was but 4 thousand times worse. And you are absolutely RIGHT!
Thanks Stephanie great advice .I have been there for years I was on pedestal till I said NO. I changed and stopped it and stuck to the gun.Silence is golden it took years of tears and stress I don't care anymore and I turned all the love to myself. I don't want to be a trophy wife anymore.
Perfect timing steph 🥰 I needed this. Thank you for the beautiful reminder
I am so glad I found you- we have discovered so much about other people and how to deal with their negative, hurtful behavior. I would love to see this video printed to read again and again!
Stephanie, thank you for making these videos!! I love them all! Thank you for educating me! ❤️🙏
Thank you . I needed to hear it!!! Thank you for your support and help I am getting from you.
Great video-! Steven Stosny says to say to yourself : "My emotional well being is more important than anyone else's bad behavior".
I've watched this awesome video 5 times now! This is the most helpful and informative video I've ever watched! You absolutely nailed exactly what I needed to know, thank you very much. You have done a great job with all your videos, please keep it up.
Narcissists are blood sucking animals. First, don't be scared to say NO! and NEVER explain yourself! When I started to do these two things, my life has become so much easier and manageable!. The first time I said NO, it felt like a thousand pounds was lifted off me. I felt elated. That gave me confidence with other things as well. Don't be afraid of how the narcissists will react. Who cares!
You are the best! You break down all the possible situations and how to establish a right reaction! Thank you for taking time and making these voluble videos!
This is right on time Stephanie🙏 thank you!
Thank you so much for this. I wish I had discovered this video about 5 days ago. I’m currently dealing with a very manipulative co-worker…and I’ve reacted to her in an emotional way, then realized that night that it wasn’t about me but about her feeling of inadequacy.
I feel your pain. It's especially difficult when that co-worker is preventing you from doing your job.
Thank you! I was trying to make sense of my trip yesterday with a new acquaintance and this popped up on my youtube, I realized that I handled the situation perfectly but it was new behavior for me to call it out and state my reality. I actually identified my feelings of feeling manipulated with guilt and control in a subtle way. I told the person I was going to have fun at the event and if he wasn't I could not control that. I admit to being co-dependent when adults are unhappy and I try to make them happy but I wasn't going to do that with him. He tried to behave better but it was exhausting. This youtube relieves me of guilt and I am proud of myself for sticking up for myself..
This video should be required for Everyone to watch. Some poor people don't know life any other way. They don't know how much happier their lives could be. So sad.
thank you. I have been fighting fire with fire and it's not the answer. Keep calm and carry on is the smartest. I'm 65 and just starting to do this and it feels strong and powerful.
Yes me too & I wondered why it has taken me 65 years!!??
@@debbieb.2096 I wonder if it is just kind of fun to put people in their place, It really makes no sense in the long run, just sink to their level. As I've gotten older it just feels good to rise above those types of people.
I did really well the other day. I walked away when I had finally had enough.
My big downfall was over explaining that while waiting for a Covid test result, we all need to self isolate.
She called me bossy for telling her and her husband that!
😪
I really appreciate this and needed to be reminded. I can get my feelings hurt to easily. People also have made comments on purpose that are off. You are so right they want their way.
Assessing the situation is key, tap into our gut reaction, take an inventory of when these commonly occur, and ask ourselves what is serving and hindering our lives. After all of this, create a set of boundaries to reference when these circumstances arise. Lots of work with result over time.
I love that this video popped up for me to watch! Just yesterday I had a situation with some random guy that often flirts with me you know I laugh it off he’ll laugh it off whatever but this time he literally goes and says I told you you could have some money in your pocket, well more money in your pocket if you were to just roll with me and then proceeds to stick his tongue out and wiggle it up and down at that point, I can’t see myself just oh ignore that because one is so disrespectful to it says and shows exactly what you think of me three the type of man he is in for that it’s OK you think it’s OK to even come at me that way so I had to stand my ground. That’s how I’ve always dealt with things that’s how I’ve been built Afterwards there was an older man very wise that I asked for his opinion, and he broke it down in a way that really helped me too. Reactive diffrently…moving forward! AMEN!
With that being said…YES no reaction is the best reaction!!
But with us women, I feel certain situations may seriously require a
“hey! I don’t tolerate that bs! Etc..”
You are so pretty! You're like the real life version of Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Kind of fitting, right? You vs. all the mean people (beasts) in our lives. PLUS your content is superb. Thank you for helping a lot of us!
Thank you so much 💖
I love this. I just became a supervisor and I’m learning non reactivity of whiny employees.
Thank you for all your work!
Thank you! I needed this today. Didn't realize I was falling back into the same old pattern. You're a God send.
Thank you for this lovely sister 😊 I'm in the process of responding rather than reacting emotionally😬 Much gratitude and appreciation ❤Blessed Be 🤙
We are only responsible for our own reactions. Very good explanation. I needed to hear this! Thank you.
You just said everything I needed to hear. Thank you for the awesome video!!
I’m learning so much from these videos and needed this one the most at this time. Not reacting is really hard especially when they get right up in your face with the yelling and bullying tactics
Love "the drink of choice" 👌
Thanks for sharing! Or, change the subject..." I think I'll book a trip to Italy." Or, "Conversation's over when you... bully, yell, abuse..." Or, "I wonder why people act like you do...?" Or, "I wonder what your intention is when you act abusive?" "Just so you'll know, I'm completely detached from your machinations."
It doesn't matter how many ways you try, you can't ever please them and good luck if you're involved with more than one at a time.
Yes! *Be impervious.* I need this reminder, thank you!!
So helpful and so good! I’ve been trying to be non reactive a LOT lately when put in tense and uncomfortable situations with difficult individuals. And wow, it’s really helping to save my sanity.
Always good to hear you explain these type of topics. Thank you!
Not reacting is literally a superpower.
Wow, this aligned with exactly where I am at in the moment. This was so helpful. Thank you 🙏🏻
Such a great video! I love them! This applies!
This was spot on for me and my life right now......thank you for sharing.....I'm dealing with a 75 year old toddler. I have noted that the attempts at guilting me (which worked in the past) just makes me mad!!! Then she tiptoes around asking "can I do anything for you" Total manipulation!
It takes me a week to detox after visiting my mother (I mostly visit to see my dad). I get soooo triggered and come home feeling depressed and guilty. The older they get the harder it is.
This is fantastic content Keep up the fantastic work! You're awesome!
Perfectly succinct and articulate!!! Thank you
🙏☺️❣️
I just went through the nightmare selling my house with the malignant narcissist ex I divorced .
Throughout the process he would throw his tantrums because he couldn’t coercively control me into subservient submission .
He tried his threats and intimidations That I didn’t react to .
that he would take me to court because I didn’t agree on the disclosure form and in his delusional mind thought he could control postponing the court ordered sale date of the house .
Needless to say he didn’t get his way as all I had to do was stick to the laws he thinks don’t apply to him.
This is my first video of yours to watch & loved it! Can’t wait for more! This is a great subject for me…thank you…very good!
Thank you.
I struggle a lot, doing shadow work, it's very important to have tools to raise our awareness and this is a good one.
This was incredibly helpful. Thank you 🙏🏻
Weather you “love” me or “hate” me it makes no difference to me.
Thats exactly me too.
Thank you for this video. Your words are empowering!
Boy, I needed to hear this. My mom is exactly the person you are talking about. I am so reactive! She now has dementia and I am one of her caregivers and it is so very hard. Thank you for teaching me how to respond better to her!
Sending you love and strength. That must be so hard to deal with. Bless you💕💕💕💕💕
Absolutely love this video this is exactly what happened to me at the weekend he made me feel awful for saying no to a request to protect myself I found myself trying to over explain my reasoning. Your videos are amazing!
You don’t have to explain say no if this self centred creep doesn’t like it stiff
Wow, amazing video and content this has been so helpful to me. Thank you Stephanie!
Thank you so much Stephanie for your very direct guidance ! Love and light !
I enjoy her content and she’s a knockout too!
I needed this so much thank you