@Rat Dusty you're just a little kid, still trolling D's comment section for attention from females. WTF a boy like you know about grown ass men? Nothing that's what lol.
@Vee 12 Were you in the relationship. Are you me? Are you him? Do you know his background or mine? I think not. Maybe you are the type that a person wouldn't have self esteem issues to not wanna date you. Maybe he/she doesn't wanna date you cause the grass is truly Greener on the other side. A nicer person I bet they chose 😉😉
@@blackpanter9572 I'm with you! Men can have self esteem issues too. You clearly had a relationship full of respect and understanding, so continue standing up for your friend! I would take up for my ex in the exact same fashion! Experiencing a love that was pure in such an ugly world shouldn't be looked at as a loss. But a gain. Takes courage, and I hope you find happiness :)
He pulled away suddenly when things were going great, looked upset, and said some nonsense about himself (he keeps saying he's not smart, which I don't like because he really is or I wouldn't be hanging with him in the first place), worried I'm using him (I'm not). Confused and hurt me. I'm thinking this one is probably his reason: self esteem issues. And he's really catching feelings now. My 'advise council' (includes a guy) telling me to just act normal and sweet as always, but to back up and give him his space to work his shit out, and it'll be okay. Okay, I'll see this a little longer and see what happens.
childhood problem. Emotionally neglected children especially grow up to be these types. These men are a symptom of a culture that is largely incompetent when it comes to raising children. Incompetent in challenging the pervasive mental health. Not shifting accountability but forever broken beyond repair. Only few have the self awareness and introspect to see what is not right within themselves
If I got to sit and figure out how a man feels about me I'M DONE! I have no time to waste to many options out there in sea for that bs. I'll ghost his ass first 😂
I see that as GOD protecting me. Their rejection GOD’s protection. I was dating a man that we had such a deep connection with so I thought because he was beyond consistent and we even talked about a future together and what we want as in marriage and children. He went through something and he pulled away and disappeared. I was hurt but I’ll be okay
Check this out. This man sums up everything here. I am sorry this happened to you and that it is happening to so many women who are acting in good faith. 10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Before marriage th-cam.com/video/LJh962pYvAU/w-d-xo.html
He pulled away because he A: ALREADY HAD SOMEONE SERIOUS TO BEGIN WITH (MARRIED OR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP) .. B: SCARED OF A REAL COMMITMENT (THINGS ARE GETTING TO REAL)..C: DOUCH BAG
Why couldn't it be he felt you were inadequate? Desired a woman with no children, no brokenness & is frugal with finances? It has to ONLY be those silly reasons? Lol. Such arrogance.
Vee 12 men also don’t speak to women with bitterness like you are now. Lol it’s okay. When a woman knows her worth she won’t settle or be bothered with a guy who isn’t ready to be a man. A man who really wants her will also come correct. PERIODT 💅🏾
Angel Beautii not always the best men in the world don’t always chase. Bums chase everything that moves ever notice women are so picky yet they still pick the wrong one.
I was had a situation like this. I was sincerely hurt & asked God why. He replied that the man wasn’t good enough. I later found that to be true. Ladies trust God.
And you asked God, “Why?” That’s awesome. Everyone is out here forgetting about God these days. Good for you, my friend ❤ God is always there, always on call, always ready to listen.
You end up with no fight left in you to try. You end up getting sick and tired of waiting. By the time they realise they were wrong, you have moved on and its too late. Dealing with men like this is exhausting they don't know what they want, they don't have a clue what their doing. Usually men like this are no good and act like this because they know you deserve better than them.
Ladies, if he falls back, you spring forward and on to the next. Time is nobody's friend and we as women know that better than anyone...life is too short...live a little.
This sounds like a narcissist who’s messing around with secondary supply and needs to go back to his main. Which is terrible and everyone needs to ditch this guy. He’s gona be hell
@@norapeace6526 yes girl say it. Unfortunately my ex has 5 kids with 5 different women hes only 31! And we are no longer together becuase he had a baby behind my back right after ours was born!
@Vee 12 believing what? Attachment styles theory? I did not invent it. This guy talks a lot about it, for instance th-cam.com/channels/O60mX6WGDgrk0R27c8COKQ.html
When his energy changes, the best thing to do is to call him out. He will then do one of two things.....get his act together, or pull away even more. Either way.....voicing your concerns allows you to be true to yourself! #selflovealways
Man this just happened to me lol. We were vibing & then all of a sudden he switched up. I tried to communicate & finally had to tell him to have a nice life. It's crazy b/c I've never connected with someone like that before. But I love & value myself too much to put up with that type of foolishness.
Lol definitely need one, we could name it "women who refuse to put up with the bullshit anonymous"...yea missing him is the worst part 😣 Guess I'm headed back to therapy
I would respect him more if he called or texted and said he needed some space instead of not communicating at all and leaving me in the dark with my thoughts.
Some men cannot sustain/maintain a relationship, it's important to move slow, stay curious, vet him, look for the best fit for you, that takes time to uncover....value yourself enough to take it seriously who you are choosing to commit to and invest in...love and heal yourself first.....some of my hard learned lessons. love your videos as always Derrick
Vee 12 I don’t desire a man to rule over me or a woman to rule over. This modern dating thing is like the art of war-and a mans life is ALWAYS in danger.
@@nyui_inc isn’t that the truth!!! They can hook up and attract a woman then it falls apart. They only want the honeymoon stage and quick and easy gratification.
God will show up at the right time in your life to protect you from many thing's that sometime will do you more harm then good in life. Just know there is some real women and men who is done with the game's that's waiting on someone who is honest in life.
I literally live this...Best strategy is to move on without them and make them wonder about you! Then when the tables done turned on him...Now, he don't know what to do!
I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life! I don’t feel like dealing with all these men’s! Who don’t know where they’re standing? Too old for all of that. Any ways my grown is awesome 👑
Yasss GIRL I feel the same way, like seriously. My thoughts are also leaning towards of going to a sperm donor to have me a baby. Us as women we have options. Best blessings to you.
First off ladies stop believing these men stories about their exes.....these men will have you wanting to fight a woman you don't even know....the guy he's talking about ends up being old bitter lonely guy at the bar that hates women....due to his own games
True. He told me he had still feelings for her. I replied I know. He told me I was harrassing him with messages. That he only wanted to be friend (untrue because we were talking about intimacy the day before) I blocked him. He was making plans for us to see each other. Good thing we didn't have time to date. I am happy if he can have a nice family life with his baby mama. I am good and thankful he didn't play me.
Protect to your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23. I know better, waiting on God!! in this crazy world!!
NOW A DAYS YOU GOT TO WORRY ABOUT A LOT WHEN GETTING INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE, BECAUSE "YOU HEAR WHAT THEIR SAYING, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR THINKING"✔💯💣
Amen! I know this is an old video but this comment touched me its so true you never know what they're thinking completely opposite. Smh nothing but deceviers and liars
This just happened to me. Didn’t technically ghost but the energy shifted. If I didn’t reach out to him first, we wouldn’t talk. The first time he took 24 hrs to respond to my message I stopped sending them. I can take a hint.
Mine still reaching out but it slow downed a little bit. I got angry and started ignoring him now he’s blowing me up. Im staying distant from now on I was just too into him going hard because I haven’t ever experienced this level of connection/attraction. If he pulls away anymore sadly I might lose all interest.
I was just thinking about this too. My life was so less stressful before I started dating this guy who ended up doing exactly what Derrick just described. Getting my peace back though. And I feel you about doing the silent crush from the side lines...drama free :)
I can’t thank you enough for this! I experienced this and it led me to feel completely insecure and confused....for a long time. But the great thing was that it also eventually led me to complete clarity. Clarity about who I am, and who I’m not, as well as I what I will and what I will not do for love. I thought I loved myself before, but coming through this experience has taught me a level of self love that I didn’t even realize I was capable of...and self respect.
Joyworker I hope I will be able to have this perspective over time because I am still healing from the exact situation that he is describing. Some days are better than others...but I’m trying my best to just get through it
Barbara Henry Oh believe me, I’m still healing also. Some days are much better than others, and then some days I fall back into the confusion once again. But overall, step-by-step, day by day, I get stronger and stronger, and I have more better days than bad days. You have to be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to let those bad feelings come up when they need to. Don’t deny them, but totally feel them. And you have to believe, that it will get better. And slowly but surely, you’ll realize that the hurt may not go away, but the pain from the hurt will go away.
It killed my confidence and self esteem also. Never felt that before from another man. A real eye opener. But know better for the next time. I wish you well.
I think it's also because he now knows he has you even if yall arent together. Now he feels that he doesn't have to try as hard to make u want him and or to make u stay. In result his energy towards you changes.
Women you should know all the dating (TRENDS) That was *Catch and release* A guy can play on a woman's mind for her to think that he is interested when he is not. That is a tactic he uses. But He's a coward! Every woman deserves the respect of honesty even when it's uncomfortable... Good video. Thanks Derrick.
When a good man that has been in sync with you suddenly pulls away or starts acting strange has nothing to do with another one. He finally realized he has NOTHING to offer you. He has no mission or vision for his own life, what can he possibly offer you? Sad but true but at least be thankful that he was willing to let you go and didn't drag you along on a horrible ride.
You hit it right on the head and then after all the negative talks the nerve to call and say Baby what’s for breakfast am hungry . Are u kidding me go cherish where you been laying your head at I’m good #FACTS
What I gather is stop trying to be accommodating if he truly wants you he will fix and changes what he needs to. If he won't he is not worth your time. I needed to hear that 🤗🤗
Yep and I let those clowns fall right back to depths of hell they crawled up from. If he start playing those types of games with me , I politely excuse myself from the board. He has one time (In my wyclef voice)to ghost ,cheat ,or any of the player Ish boyish men do and he might as well stay casper. I wont call,send smoke signals,pigeons etc cause obviously he ain't for me. I dont chase, I replace. So thank you...next.
Been there done that... his dog 🐶 azz was fawking around the entire time... he knew I would never play sideline so he had to pull away and I'm glad he did... yes he had caught feelings for me I could tell then boom 💥 he's making up problems and etc..!!! Took me some time to heal but I'm getting there..!!!
This just happened to me for the first reason. Thank you Derrick. This really helped. Just like you said, things were going great, we were crazy about each other. Then he suddenly changed. Fewer & fewer messages, less & less emotion. Then finally wanted to scale it back to friends. Of course, it had gone too far. Women can't go back to the friend zone. Who ever still holds his heart, she is a lucky woman. He was never mean, disrespectful, or hurtful. Thanks again Derrick. You are helping me heal.
@Vee 12 Thst is a good point. He is a very strong, masculine man. He is the one who cut off communication. He should be the one to initiate contact. And I think he would want it that way. If I contact him, it would be crossing his boundaries--disrespectful. Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them. Take care.
@Vee 12 That would be acting on something that isn't real. I have not been told I have 24 hours to live. I need to respect the boundary he set. That is real. There is nothing to forgive. He never treated me bad, he just let go. He has a right to do this. Once again. Thank you.
I find it disheartening & sad that people make love & relationships so complicated. It's not rocket science if both people are honest & up front about what they want, even if/when it changes. #Tired
Going through this situation right now. Met this guy and we hit it off really well. Then one day he told me that he thinks I’m a beautiful, intelligent, fun to be around. He respects me too much to give me half of his time. He is putting it on him focusing on his son who has some issues. It’s so frustrating because when we are together it’s always a good time. Most times sex isn’t even involved. He will text me letting me know he’s thinking of me and vice versa. But he definitely keeps the lines of communication open just enough so that I won’t completely walk away. But not enough to give me the indication we are proceeding forward. I really like this guy. I truly do. And there’s no other guy I’m interested in so what he and I are doing isn’t that much of a bother but it’s so frustrating being single trying to date this day and age. I’m 47. It shouldn’t be this hard but it seems to be.
Don’t walk away, RUN!! Trust me. I know we don’t know each other but he’s wasting your time, if you’re good to him and for him he’ll return with his shit together. The only issue is, will you still want him then.
He's full of crap. He knew his son had issues before he stepped to you. Now all of a sudden he can't give you a lot of his time & he's blaming his son's issues. Cut him off.
Staying single for a long time bcz I was in a narcissistic marriage for 12 years. Been out of that for about 2 years and I am no where near ready for those mind games. God said he gave me the tools and I'm definitely gonna use them.
Literally going through this and I'm thinking I dont have time for this mess! 🙄 we are too grown and I have too much going on to figure you out smh. This too much 😭😪
I’ve always believed “if someone wants to walk out of your life, let them.” You can only be yourself, and if being your true self is not “enough” for that person to get over their insecurities and lock it down, then that person was Not the one. A king will always recognize a queen. 👑
I just went thru this but I shifted to cut yo a$$ off mode 😂😂 not bout to play games with me I’m soo glad I saw this he tried to make as if I’m crazy but I was definitely right
Honestly it could be multiple reasons I've seen everything from a guy was single but then his ex who he was in love with came back in the picture, to plain scared of falling too hard because they're scared of being hurt, to guys getting arrested and being scared or embarrassed to tell the person so they just ghost, to guys going away to the military so not wanting to continue anything serious. You never really know where or why someones head is at unless they say so and even then it's up to you to trust what they say 🤷🏽♀️ either way take it as a blessing to find someone who is ready.
Has happened to me honestly. I even went to the guy's place and took food with me but he did not want to talk to me so I just dropped it off and left. It was so sad for me knowing that I care about him so much. We've talked for two years. So for him to do this when I was finally opening up to him was hurtful. Thanks for this Derrick. I needed this.
"Thot lease"😂😂😂. Well after 4 years I'm finally able to cut the cord on a "relationship". And if I'm keeping it 100 I will admit its my fault it went this long. I'm tired and I deserve way better. Thanks Derrick!
Why does dating have to be so hard?! Ugh. Thank you for breaking it down for us. You’re like the big brother I never had lol. I appreciate your advice, it’s helped me a lot with not wasting my time with all these guys.
Women should start investing in male robots because these so called men out there are just a waste of space.Pointless trying to decipher their actions.
this just happened to me.... we were dating and finally gettin close and he pulled away and suddenly broke up w me right when things were going well. the man is just not over his ex and isn’t ready for a relationship 🤷🏼♀️i moved on ... thank u for all ur advice❤️
This is why even when u do like a guy dont make him a priority until he proves himself keep ur options open always. Talk to multiple at the same time and be honest abt it. Dnt be faithful to a friend or situatiomship. Have fun make other plans be busy already..
This is classic omg Derrick you had me on the floor. That violin part was spot on!! You said he say she was Freddy, Candy man, Jaws and Godzilla lol. Ladies Rejection is Gods protection, don't feel sad. You was dodging a bullet he could've been a narc, cheater, etc smh. Derrick you the best!
There’s nothing “weak” or “naive” about having compassion for another human being. In the long run karma spares no one. Love fearlessly and faithfully while setting boundaries for yourself. You will be rewarded one way or another in the end. You can’t win with fear in your heart ❤️
He was attracted to your confidence because he doesn't have any - that's why he tried to steal yours! He wants you to feel as broken as he does! He desired what you have. These men don't know how to respect another because they don't even respect themselves - despite their façade. They don't respect you acquiescing to them because, deep down, they know that they're not worth it. "Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space." ~ Diana Black
the first scenario just recently happened to me! at first i thought “why?” but now i’m thankful... i don’t want to be in love with someone who loves someone else.
Thanks for this video. I can honestly say this recently happened to me. But, I’m truly strong and I’ve moved on...the funny thing is out the blue, he calls and completely ignore.
What you are describing in the 2nd scenario is actually the beginning of the narcissist’s devaluing stage. It’s how they emotionally control you. You will feel the shift, panic and start to do whatever they want to get back to the love bombing stage (the first stage and how they initially hook you). After devalue, they trigger you and then discard you. This forms a trauma bond and the cycle repeats until you figure out their game or until they no longer need you as supply. And they always have offer supply to get their needs met, whether an ex, a friend, a family member, etc. they will move back to old supply they kept in the wings, move onto new supply or both. Either way, it’s a sick psychological game and a personality disorder, and you need to run as soon as you can.
Good insight as always. Woman always try harder when this happens. What woman should do is pull back and go live their life as if this guy is gone for good. Stay busy. This guy isn't confused. He's indecisive. So go live your best life without him. If potentially losing you doesn't push him into action...then he's not for you. And he just did you a favor by showing his true colors.
Damn....I needed to hear this TODAY!!! Thank you so much for helping me remind myself that I am priceless and if a man can't see my value he doesn't deserve one minute of my time.
I dont have time these games and to figure out unnecessary shit folks have better shit to do and goals to accomplish smh. I treasure my peace too much in my life to worry about somebody nappy headed son 😒. Yall got it sis 👌🏾✌🏾.
This is the most helpful video I've ever watched. Every other coach and shit says they are just so scared and terrified of their feelings, but I just never believed that. This makes so much more sense
Just sick of most guys these days I don't even look back at them anymore! My blinders are on heavy duty these days it's about my career, my health and psychosocial well-being these days! I could never go wrong in this lane! Happy ☘ St.Patrick's ☘Day To all!
men like this don't care how they hurt you they sleep with many woman then say its a lie to keep you around but go days without talking to you then when they pop up from the dead they its always I miss you I love oh no keep the ones that's ok with that you must love yourself enough to know they will never just be with just you but with many they can leave you in bad shape if your not a strong willed person it can take years to heal of courses they will blame you after you walk away for good🙏🙏but stay strong my sistas
Thank you so much for doing this video. I finally understand a situation that I went through with someone that I never understood at the time it was happening.
EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THIS VIDEO IS ACCURATE! LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!! Except in my situation I refused to shift into "prove yourself mode" because I saw the game he wanted to play and I wasn't having it. Thanks for confirming my theory! Your videos are always on point
Glad he did. Tired of this cycle with this jackass. Now he misses me. Oh well. I don't miss him anymore. I couldn't be happier.
Casie Priest sane here
Casie Priest girl me too #BLOCKEDANDDELETED
That's how it be girl
Lmfao you sound tired as hell
Bastards, me too girl
This is basically a guy putting you on an "audition". Never let a man put you on that road to nowhere ladies!
EXACTLY!
I like that, I have someone auditioning now smh lol
Yeah..get you a man that doesn’t have to do that.
lis martin exactly
@Rat Dusty you're just a little kid, still trolling D's comment section for attention from females.
WTF a boy like you know about grown ass men? Nothing that's what lol.
Don't forget another reason they pull back; they don't feel good enough to date you. Self esteem issues but they won't admit it.
@Vee 12 Were you in the relationship. Are you me? Are you him? Do you know his background or mine? I think not. Maybe you are the type that a person wouldn't have self esteem issues to not wanna date you. Maybe he/she doesn't wanna date you cause the grass is truly Greener on the other side. A nicer person I bet they chose 😉😉
@@blackpanter9572 I'm with you! Men can have self esteem issues too. You clearly had a relationship full of respect and understanding, so continue standing up for your friend! I would take up for my ex in the exact same fashion! Experiencing a love that was pure in such an ugly world shouldn't be looked at as a loss. But a gain. Takes courage, and I hope you find happiness :)
@@najwawatson55 thank you. Very kind words. 💛
He pulled away suddenly when things were going great, looked upset, and said some nonsense about himself (he keeps saying he's not smart, which I don't like because he really is or I wouldn't be hanging with him in the first place), worried I'm using him (I'm not). Confused and hurt me. I'm thinking this one is probably his reason: self esteem issues. And he's really catching feelings now. My 'advise council' (includes a guy) telling me to just act normal and sweet as always, but to back up and give him his space to work his shit out, and it'll be okay. Okay, I'll see this a little longer and see what happens.
The same thing that happened to me 😢 I'm hurt over this...... it made to shut my heart completely
Too many men got commitment issues these days
True
childhood problem. Emotionally neglected children especially grow up to be these types. These men are a symptom of a culture that is largely incompetent when it comes to raising children. Incompetent in challenging the pervasive mental health. Not shifting accountability but forever broken beyond repair. Only few have the self awareness and introspect to see what is not right within themselves
Men are so weak, sometimes I find they’re the ones that can’t get over their first gf or whatever.
As men with something to lose should. The lack of empathy should be expected.
Orange Cloud
That is correct. Men are the lovers. Typically, males aren’t monkeybranching around.
If I got to sit and figure out how a man feels about me I'M DONE! I have no time to waste to many options out there in sea for that bs. I'll ghost his ass first 😂
Yep...l agree with you...guys are great but music and sports are more fun.
LOL! 😂
🤪😂👍
💯😂
Sounds like another man excuse for not being a person of integrity. The reasons don't matter. Cut him off!
Very true!
Preach
saycheeze4mi word
I see that as GOD protecting me. Their rejection GOD’s protection. I was dating a man that we had such a deep connection with so I thought because he was beyond consistent and we even talked about a future together and what we want as in marriage and children. He went through something and he pulled away and disappeared. I was hurt but I’ll be okay
Yes ma'am Rejection is Gods protection take that and run with it!!
I agree 100%.... God or something is protecting.
I was sitting here thinking a similar thing. True true true.
Check this out. This man sums up everything here. I am sorry this happened to you and that it is happening to so many women who are acting in good faith. 10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Before marriage th-cam.com/video/LJh962pYvAU/w-d-xo.html
I always say this! So true.
He pulled away because he A: ALREADY HAD SOMEONE SERIOUS TO BEGIN WITH (MARRIED OR SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP) .. B: SCARED OF A REAL COMMITMENT (THINGS ARE GETTING TO REAL)..C: DOUCH BAG
j E nailed it!
All of the above, especially C: Douche Bag
Or D all of the above
Why couldn't it be he felt you were inadequate? Desired a woman with no children, no brokenness & is frugal with finances? It has to ONLY be those silly reasons? Lol. Such arrogance.
j E I’ll take A for $200 Alex 🙋♀️
Women Stop chasing men .. PERIODT ‼️ WE ARE THE CHASE 💅🏾
And always will be!
Vee 12 men also don’t speak to women with bitterness like you are now. Lol it’s okay. When a woman knows her worth she won’t settle or be bothered with a guy who isn’t ready to be a man. A man who really wants her will also come correct. PERIODT 💅🏾
Char Denise you’re welcome 😉
Angel Beautii 💯
Angel Beautii not always the best men in the world don’t always chase. Bums chase everything that moves ever notice women are so picky yet they still pick the wrong one.
I am so happy that relationship has died. He was so passive aggressive, narcissistic and energy draining.
SAMMMMMMEEEE HERE!!!
I dont have the energy.. anymore. It's sad these man children refuse to man up!
I was had a situation like this. I was sincerely hurt & asked God why. He replied that the man wasn’t good enough. I later found that to be true. Ladies trust God.
Definitely‼️ 🙏🏽
Ok 💙
And you asked God, “Why?” That’s awesome. Everyone is out here forgetting about God these days. Good for you, my friend ❤ God is always there, always on call, always ready to listen.
You end up with no fight left in you to try. You end up getting sick and tired of waiting. By the time they realise they were wrong, you have moved on and its too late. Dealing with men like this is exhausting they don't know what they want, they don't have a clue what their doing. Usually men like this are no good and act like this because they know you deserve better than them.
They don’t even know how to be in a relationship but they claim to want one
true
I sweaaaa sis!
💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️💁♀️
🔥
Ladies, if he falls back, you spring forward and on to the next. Time is nobody's friend and we as women know that better than anyone...life is too short...live a little.
tanya hamilton 💯💯💯 Exactly how I see it, 🗣SPEAK IT‼️
tanya hamilton thank u
Preach🗣🗣🗣
I love this!!!!
This dating thang is too much to figure out😥Lord Jesus🙌 Team Jaxn anyway💘
Check this out. This man sums up everything here. 10 Reasons Not to Have Sex Before marriage th-cam.com/video/LJh962pYvAU/w-d-xo.html
It's so exhausting...just rather take the time to invest in myself and just live my best life without all the drama.
Ikr, this shit is hard. I don't know if I'll ever find the right one.
@@tjtanner9311 gurrrll🙌😂🙌
Hell yes girl I’d be so lost if I didn’t have Jaxn I’m only 19 thank god I got him to explain it all and don’t make me feel like an idiot
Never let a man tell you he DON'T WANT YOU more than once!✌🏾💅🏾🖕🏾
This sounds like a narcissist who’s messing around with secondary supply and needs to go back to his main. Which is terrible and everyone needs to ditch this guy. He’s gona be hell
Thank you
Nora Peace Yes!
That guy needs to fuck outta here and go beat his own meat. Nobody got energy for some petty shit.
Orange Cloud yes!! They need to just have sex with robots so they don’t mess up nobody life 🙄
@@norapeace6526 yes girl say it. Unfortunately my ex has 5 kids with 5 different women hes only 31! And we are no longer together becuase he had a baby behind my back right after ours was born!
💁🏾♀️ and they call us difficult...
Nae West Chile I cant men is unbelievable
Humans. We're all the same with billions of unique traits that make us different at the same time.
@@CorporateQueen true but only if we all thought that way
@@Vinnafetish If only
@Vee 12 that is so far left from what my comment was saying.
Maybe he has an avoidant attachment style. Afraid of intimacy, afraid of commitment. Shuts down and pulls away once things get serious
@Vee 12 believing what? Attachment styles theory? I did not invent it. This guy talks a lot about it, for instance th-cam.com/channels/O60mX6WGDgrk0R27c8COKQ.html
When his energy changes, the best thing to do is to call him out. He will then do one of two things.....get his act together, or pull away even more. Either way.....voicing your concerns allows you to be true to yourself! #selflovealways
Sometimes when he gets his act together, you've already started detaching emotionally 💔
@@societyzpinksheep2645 I agree. And that is when you will see him work harder to keep you!
I did this, he said we are fine but he was just sorting things out
Still distant tho
@@poweidethompson7256 heard that as well but we are not layaway plans
"He starts playing the violin" Lmao!😂
Man this just happened to me lol. We were vibing & then all of a sudden he switched up. I tried to communicate & finally had to tell him to have a nice life. It's crazy b/c I've never connected with someone like that before. But I love & value myself too much to put up with that type of foolishness.
Kim O me too girl! I had to let him go! and I still miss his ass. We all need like a damn dating support group. This shit is tough 😩
Lol definitely need one, we could name it "women who refuse to put up with the bullshit anonymous"...yea missing him is the worst part 😣
Guess I'm headed back to therapy
I am so glad you realize your value sis
@@rhondac.891 girl set it up I'll show up!
Kim O Me too!
"She was Freddy Krueger, she was the candyman, she was jaws and godzilla."😂😂 had me dying.
AlyssaJudith Roasa Me too,,, I was Rollin😂😂😂😂😂
That sounds very manipulative if a man truly cares he will lock it down no excuses
Amen!!!
100%
So u can break him? Nah we good
@Chassity Taylor nah u women hurt me 3x already. Cheated and used me for resources when I fell in love.. I ain't locking down again.
Indeed
I would respect him more if he called or texted and said he needed some space instead of not communicating at all and leaving me in the dark with my thoughts.
Exactly
Some men cannot sustain/maintain a relationship, it's important to move slow, stay curious, vet him, look for the best fit for you, that takes time to uncover....value yourself enough to take it seriously who you are choosing to commit to and invest in...love and heal yourself first.....some of my hard learned lessons. love your videos as always Derrick
"Some men cannot sustain/maintain a relationship."
Just read the Art of War. It applies to love.
Vee 12
I don’t desire a man to rule over me or a woman to rule over. This modern dating thing is like the art of war-and a mans life is ALWAYS in danger.
Well said💙😆
@@nyui_inc isn’t that the truth!!! They can hook up and attract a woman then it falls apart. They only want the honeymoon stage and quick and easy gratification.
Happened to me . These guys are the most charming ones . He had a girlfriend. Never again .
You think you the only woman that wants that man?
God will show up at the right time in your life to protect you from many thing's that sometime will do you more harm then good in life. Just know there is some real women and men who is done with the game's that's waiting on someone who is honest in life.
Amen
So true! 🙋🏽♀️
Amen
Blessed One 🙌🏾😪
Thanks be to God 🙏😇🙌💙
I literally live this...Best strategy is to move on without them and make them wonder about you! Then when the tables done turned on him...Now, he don't know what to do!
Ok💙
I think I’ll be single for the rest of my life! I don’t feel like dealing with all these men’s! Who don’t know where they’re standing?
Too old for all of that.
Any ways my grown is awesome 👑
Yasss GIRL I feel the same way, like seriously. My thoughts are also leaning towards of going to a sperm donor to have me a baby. Us as women we have options. Best blessings to you.
I agree 💯
The square men are the good men.
Me too me too Queen !!!
Don't give up on love ladies. There are Godly men available. You just have to fast and pray, while waiting on God
First off ladies stop believing these men stories about their exes.....these men will have you wanting to fight a woman you don't even know....the guy he's talking about ends up being old bitter lonely guy at the bar that hates women....due to his own games
THIS!!!!
so true !
Where does the woman end up?
So true!!!
ShoNuff IzHere!! Happy, with someone else!!
I actually think the first one you mentioned (him still being in love with his ex) is more common than most of us realize.
True. He told me he had still feelings for her. I replied I know. He told me I was harrassing him with messages. That he only wanted to be friend (untrue because we were talking about intimacy the day before) I blocked him. He was making plans for us to see each other. Good thing we didn't have time to date. I am happy if he can have a nice family life with his baby mama. I am good and thankful he didn't play me.
“she was jaws,candy man..” 🤦🏾♀️💀😂😂😂 3:29
😂😂😂😂😂
I hollered!!! 😂😂😂
I screamed.... Toooo funny
Protect to your heart with all diligence because out of it flows the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23. I know better, waiting on God!! in this crazy world!!
Amen!
Amen
NOW A DAYS YOU GOT TO WORRY ABOUT A LOT WHEN GETTING INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE, BECAUSE "YOU HEAR WHAT THEIR SAYING, BUT YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEIR THINKING"✔💯💣
Amen! I know this is an old video but this comment touched me its so true you never know what they're thinking completely opposite. Smh nothing but deceviers and liars
The bottom line is, he wants to see someone else.
Because he is a coward.
Sweeterthan Sweet He's scared of catching feelings😂😂😂😂😂 He's also a Afraid Moron👽
At some point you must become grateful for the TRASH taking itself OUT the door #THX U, NEXT
This just happened to me. Didn’t technically ghost but the energy shifted. If I didn’t reach out to him first, we wouldn’t talk. The first time he took 24 hrs to respond to my message I stopped sending them. I can take a hint.
@Vee 12 great advice
Same here 😒
Current situation ☹️
Mine still reaching out but it slow downed a little bit. I got angry and started ignoring him now he’s blowing me up. Im staying distant from now on I was just too into him going hard because I haven’t ever experienced this level of connection/attraction. If he pulls away anymore sadly I might lose all interest.
@@bxndo5ive what ended up happening?
The single life is so less complicated....I can't ...its too much in these relationship streets! Happy to silent crush from the side lines 😎😉
Jeanine Mack more & more I’m starting to feel contentment with the same smh dating is sorry these days
@@deschainerideaux Okkk I'm stress free and I now have peace 😊🤗
@Me, myself, and I I hear ya...which is why I date myself...not pressed anymore 🤗😊
@Vee 12 Thank you for your input...many blessings to you 🌞
I was just thinking about this too. My life was so less stressful before I started dating this guy who ended up doing exactly what Derrick just described. Getting my peace back though. And I feel you about doing the silent crush from the side lines...drama free :)
He said Freddie kruger candyman jaws godzilla 😂😂😂
I screamed.
@@BluDrop5 😂😂
omg I couldn't breath I skipped back 10 seconds twice 😂
Sharibaby80 I fell out 🤣🤣🤣
Damn ,reading your comment while hearing him speak those words😂😂😂😂
I can’t thank you enough for this! I experienced this and it led me to feel completely insecure and confused....for a long time. But the great thing was that it also eventually led me to complete clarity. Clarity about who I am, and who I’m not, as well as I what I will and what I will not do for love. I thought I loved myself before, but coming through this experience has taught me a level of self love that I didn’t even realize I was capable of...and self respect.
Joyworker I hope I will be able to have this perspective over time because I am still healing from the exact situation that he is describing. Some days are better than others...but I’m trying my best to just get through it
Barbara Henry Oh believe me, I’m still healing also. Some days are much better than others, and then some days I fall back into the confusion once again. But overall, step-by-step, day by day, I get stronger and stronger, and I have more better days than bad days. You have to be kind to yourself, and allow yourself to let those bad feelings come up when they need to. Don’t deny them, but totally feel them. And you have to believe, that it will get better. And slowly but surely, you’ll realize that the hurt may not go away, but the pain from the hurt will go away.
@@crystaljonesnyc have you healed?
It killed my confidence and self esteem also. Never felt that before from another man. A real eye opener. But know better for the next time. I wish you well.
I think it's also because he now knows he has you even if yall arent together. Now he feels that he doesn't have to try as hard to make u want him and or to make u stay. In result his energy towards you changes.
So what should I do
Women you should know all the dating (TRENDS) That was *Catch and release* A guy can play on a woman's mind for her to think that he is interested when he is not. That is a tactic he uses. But He's a coward! Every woman deserves the respect of honesty even when it's uncomfortable... Good video. Thanks Derrick.
Sounds to me like something a man that doesn't know what he wants. SMH!
Love you Derrick!
When a good man that has been in sync with you suddenly pulls away or starts acting strange has nothing to do with another one. He finally realized he has NOTHING to offer you. He has no mission or vision for his own life, what can he possibly offer you? Sad but true but at least be thankful that he was willing to let you go and didn't drag you along on a horrible ride.
You hit it right on the head and then after all the negative talks the nerve to call and say Baby what’s for breakfast am hungry . Are u kidding me go cherish where you been laying your head at I’m good #FACTS
Wow are you serious the nerve of these little boys
They definitely have a lot of nerves.
This came right on time! Block & Delete it is! #TeamJaxn
🙌🙌
Yasssss! Leave that petty ass alone
What I gather is stop trying to be accommodating if he truly wants you he will fix and changes what he needs to. If he won't he is not worth your time. I needed to hear that 🤗🤗
Done.
Yess👏🏾
I love you! Thank you for always being honest and respectful to women!
Never let a man save you for later if he pulls away make him stay away!
💯
Yep and I let those clowns fall right back to depths of hell they crawled up from. If he start playing those types of games with me , I politely excuse myself from the board. He has one time (In my wyclef voice)to ghost ,cheat ,or any of the player Ish boyish men do and he might as well stay casper. I wont call,send smoke signals,pigeons etc cause obviously he ain't for me. I dont chase, I replace. So thank you...next.
You so funny!
I don't chase, i replace! Love this sis
Facts
DoubleOSexiee send smoke signals 😂 you did not just... 😂
DoubleOSexiee word 👌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🤛🏾🤛🏾
Been there done that... his dog 🐶 azz was fawking around the entire time... he knew I would never play sideline so he had to pull away and I'm glad he did... yes he had caught feelings for me I could tell then boom 💥 he's making up problems and etc..!!! Took me some time to heal but I'm getting there..!!!
You clearly have a higher calling. Thank you
Facts.
Right?
This just happened to me for the first reason. Thank you Derrick. This really helped. Just like you said, things were going great, we were crazy about each other. Then he suddenly changed. Fewer & fewer messages, less & less emotion. Then finally wanted to scale it back to friends. Of course, it had gone too far. Women can't go back to the friend zone. Who ever still holds his heart, she is a lucky woman. He was never mean, disrespectful, or hurtful. Thanks again Derrick. You are helping me heal.
@Vee 12 Thank you for your response Vee. But what good would knowing the truth do for me? It won't bring us back together. He has made his decision.
@Vee 12 Thst is a good point. He is a very strong, masculine man. He is the one who cut off communication. He should be the one to initiate contact. And I think he would want it that way. If I contact him, it would be crossing his boundaries--disrespectful. Thank you for your comments, I appreciate them. Take care.
@Vee 12 That would be acting on something that isn't real. I have not been told I have 24 hours to live. I need to respect the boundary he set. That is real. There is nothing to forgive. He never treated me bad, he just let go. He has a right to do this. Once again. Thank you.
Vee 12 hopefully you’re somewhere shutting the fuck up 🤗
He is being hurtful by having a relationship with you knowingly not healed from another woman.
I find it disheartening & sad that people make love & relationships so complicated. It's not rocket science if both people are honest & up front about what they want, even if/when it changes. #Tired
@Vee 12 😂😂😂 for some women yes. Not all of us have that side
@Vee 12 that I totally disagree with, but you're entitled to your opinion
Right, it shouldn't be this hard.
Going through this situation right now. Met this guy and we hit it off really well. Then one day he told me that he thinks I’m a beautiful, intelligent, fun to be around. He respects me too much to give me half of his time. He is putting it on him focusing on his son who has some issues. It’s so frustrating because when we are together it’s always a good time. Most times sex isn’t even involved. He will text me letting me know he’s thinking of me and vice versa. But he definitely keeps the lines of communication open just enough so that I won’t completely walk away. But not enough to give me the indication we are proceeding forward. I really like this guy. I truly do. And there’s no other guy I’m interested in so what he and I are doing isn’t that much of a bother but it’s so frustrating being single trying to date this day and age. I’m 47. It shouldn’t be this hard but it seems to be.
Do you have kids?
Don’t walk away, RUN!! Trust me. I know we don’t know each other but he’s wasting your time, if you’re good to him and for him he’ll return with his shit together. The only issue is, will you still want him then.
The watchmans eyes Just trifling
@@Mrs.the.Creator yep,he's gone keep buying and wasting her time as long as she continue to see him and accept his excuses
He's full of crap. He knew his son had issues before he stepped to you. Now all of a sudden he can't give you a lot of his time & he's blaming his son's issues. Cut him off.
Staying single for a long time bcz I was in a narcissistic marriage for 12 years. Been out of that for about 2 years and I am no where near ready for those mind games. God said he gave me the tools and I'm definitely gonna use them.
Literally going through this and I'm thinking I dont have time for this mess! 🙄 we are too grown and I have too much going on to figure you out smh. This too much 😭😪
Me right now😅
Yeah I've seen those temper tantrums. I simply walk away.
Block and delete for the '19 and 2020...
I’ve always believed “if someone wants to walk out of your life, let them.” You can only be yourself, and if being your true self is not “enough” for that person to get over their insecurities and lock it down, then that person was Not the one. A king will always recognize a queen. 👑
I just went thru this but I shifted to cut yo a$$ off mode 😂😂 not bout to play games with me I’m soo glad I saw this he tried to make as if I’m crazy but I was definitely right
He gotta be a narcissist
They are always quick to call you crazy
Sam Gaines absolutely that was the only comeback was your crazy and oh stop
Assuming stuff I’m like prove me wrong we have talked since than 😂
Preangela Marks probably that’s going around a lot lately
“ cut yo ass off mode” 💀😩😭
Honestly it could be multiple reasons I've seen everything from a guy was single but then his ex who he was in love with came back in the picture, to plain scared of falling too hard because they're scared of being hurt, to guys getting arrested and being scared or embarrassed to tell the person so they just ghost, to guys going away to the military so not wanting to continue anything serious. You never really know where or why someones head is at unless they say so and even then it's up to you to trust what they say 🤷🏽♀️ either way take it as a blessing to find someone who is ready.
Has happened to me honestly. I even went to the guy's place and took food with me but he did not want to talk to me so I just dropped it off and left. It was so sad for me knowing that I care about him so much. We've talked for two years. So for him to do this when I was finally opening up to him was hurtful. Thanks for this Derrick. I needed this.
"Thot lease"😂😂😂. Well after 4 years I'm finally able to cut the cord on a "relationship". And if I'm keeping it 100 I will admit its my fault it went this long. I'm tired and I deserve way better. Thanks Derrick!
Why does dating have to be so hard?! Ugh. Thank you for breaking it down for us. You’re like the big brother I never had lol. I appreciate your advice, it’s helped me a lot with not wasting my time with all these guys.
Women should start investing in male robots because these so called men out there are just a waste of space.Pointless trying to decipher their actions.
J Lol
this just happened to me.... we were dating and finally gettin close and he pulled away and suddenly broke up w me right when things were going well. the man is just not over his ex and isn’t ready for a relationship 🤷🏼♀️i moved on ... thank u for all ur advice❤️
This is why even when u do like a guy dont make him a priority until he proves himself keep ur options open always. Talk to multiple at the same time and be honest abt it. Dnt be faithful to a friend or situatiomship. Have fun make other plans be busy already..
This is classic omg Derrick you had me on the floor. That violin part was spot on!! You said he say she was Freddy, Candy man, Jaws and Godzilla lol. Ladies Rejection is Gods protection, don't feel sad. You was dodging a bullet he could've been a narc, cheater, etc smh. Derrick you the best!
He forgot one.
The man just loses interest.
So on point! Not weak. I dropped off just like he did 🤜🤛
Derrick I'm applying so much shit I've learned that I fear I've become the narcissist. Killing them off has come with much ease lately.
There’s nothing “weak” or “naive” about having compassion for another human being. In the long run karma spares no one. Love fearlessly and faithfully while setting boundaries for yourself. You will be rewarded one way or another in the end. You can’t win with fear in your heart ❤️
Perfect timing! , just had this happen for the first time and was completely confused! so helpful thank you! 🤷🏼♀️🙏🏼✌🏼💕💯
He was attracted to your confidence because he doesn't have any - that's why he tried to steal yours! He wants you to feel as broken as he does! He desired what you have. These men don't know how to respect another because they don't even respect themselves - despite their façade. They don't respect you acquiescing to them because, deep down, they know that they're not worth it. "Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space." ~ Diana Black
Oh I’ve never said “ yes yes yes” so much to a video! You hit my heart! But I’m a good way! So refreshing to hear. Lord yes.
😩🙏🏾
Love the videos!! Thank you so much for the advice!!
the first scenario just recently happened to me! at first i thought “why?” but now i’m thankful... i don’t want to be in love with someone who loves someone else.
Exactly thats annoying
definitely true, we need to be aware who we catch feelings for and invest💯
😩 it's too late, I'm hurt and recovering now.
Sounds like you're describing a narcissist with the pointing fingers, making excuses and blaming her for it.
Thanks for this video. I can honestly say this recently happened to me. But, I’m truly strong and I’ve moved on...the funny thing is out the blue, he calls and completely ignore.
SoundCloud mixtape lol. This is good. If the actions are loud, listen! Great video as
usual Derrick
My Brotha you are BRILLIANT. GENIUS. Thank you. You're able to see and understand things I cant see.
What you are describing in the 2nd scenario is actually the beginning of the narcissist’s devaluing stage. It’s how they emotionally control you. You will feel the shift, panic and start to do whatever they want to get back to the love bombing stage (the first stage and how they initially hook you). After devalue, they trigger you and then discard you. This forms a trauma bond and the cycle repeats until you figure out their game or until they no longer need you as supply. And they always have offer supply to get their needs met, whether an ex, a friend, a family member, etc. they will move back to old supply they kept in the wings, move onto new supply or both. Either way, it’s a sick psychological game and a personality disorder, and you need to run as soon as you can.
Good insight as always. Woman always try harder when this happens. What woman should do is pull back and go live their life as if this guy is gone for good. Stay busy. This guy isn't confused. He's indecisive. So go live your best life without him. If potentially losing you doesn't push him into action...then he's not for you. And he just did you a favor by showing his true colors.
she was "Jaws" and "Godzilla" 😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♀️ I'm dead!
Damn....I needed to hear this TODAY!!! Thank you so much for helping me remind myself that I am priceless and if a man can't see my value he doesn't deserve one minute of my time.
I dont have time these games and to figure out unnecessary shit folks have better shit to do and goals to accomplish smh. I treasure my peace too much in my life to worry about somebody nappy headed son 😒. Yall got it sis 👌🏾✌🏾.
"Situatuionship City" and "Thot lease" OMG 🤣
Effort for effort... If you stop putting in the effort.. So will I... Boy bye
This is the most helpful video I've ever watched. Every other coach and shit says they are just so scared and terrified of their feelings, but I just never believed that. This makes so much more sense
You come right on time with these videos! This hit the nail right on the head. Thanks for this!
Just sick of most guys these days I don't even look back at them anymore! My blinders are on heavy duty these days it's about my career, my health and psychosocial well-being these days! I could never go wrong in this lane! Happy ☘ St.Patrick's ☘Day To all!
Happy Paddy's day. Me too don't have time for those boys
men like this don't care how they hurt you they sleep with many woman then say its a lie to keep you around but go days without talking to you then when they pop up from the dead they its always I miss you I love oh no keep the ones that's ok with that you must love yourself enough to know they will never just be with just you but with many they can leave you in bad shape if your not a strong willed person it can take years to heal of courses they will blame you after you walk away for good🙏🙏but stay strong my sistas
Thank you so much for doing this video. I finally understand a situation that I went through with someone that I never understood at the time it was happening.
you gave me great insight on the 1st less common reason. I was beating myself up about the last guy that did that to me. Thank you!!
EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THIS VIDEO IS ACCURATE! LITERALLY EVERYTHING!!!! Except in my situation I refused to shift into "prove yourself mode" because I saw the game he wanted to play and I wasn't having it. Thanks for confirming my theory! Your videos are always on point
#3: He aint trying to fall in love.
LmOo your so on point thank u😂😂💕know your worth don’t settle!!!! These are
All signs 🏃♀️ run!!!!
Thanks for all of your advice. I appreciate your hard work.