Number 9 is the one I struggle with most now. As im starting to date again OCD trys to find any "flaws" in how the person looks. But I'm starting to recognise it more and I'm able to accept and carry on.
Thank you for this video found it incredibly helpful. can you please talk about people pleasing and ocd? I find it so difficult to deal with combining with my hocd
OK I'm the 1st comment! I suffer with ROCD in relation to being quite superficial with how someone looks. I body build and have somehow come to the distorted belief that the more muscular I am the more attractive I am to the opposite sex. The bigger I get the more I feel I deserve or can attract a better looking girl. I find it incredibly difficult to imagine dating someone physically less attractive than me. Maybe it's an act of avoidance, and perhaps this is very narcissistic but I simply feel I could never be in a relationship with a girl who isn't as attractive as I feel I am. I have always felt incredibly trapped when I get into relationships with commitment issues. And looks seem to substantially outweigh personality when I make a decision about a potential partner. I understand other acceptance and that accomplishments and conditional appearances shouldn't be so much a focus but I think I rationalise getting with an extremely attractive girl by saying well if I get trapped with getting her pregnant at least she looks really good.
It's avoidance of discomfort and negative feelings I presume (and perhaps other irrational beliefs that you might be holding). A good idea would be to date someone you don't find your absolute ideal, perfect type - to see that it's not as horrible as your brain is making it out to be. Because even if you were to be with someone extremely attractive, OCD will morph and begin to find other flaws in her. So working on your worst case scenario and exposures is key. Also read The Myth of Self-Esteem.
I had to laugh a bit at your last sentence. Of course rationally we know that we wouldn't be happy with a very attractive partner who has a shit personality or treats us badly. But I know how you feel otherwise. I think we also can be rational and say that yes, physical looks do matter in choosing a partner, and yes many women will appreciate a man who has a good physique. And there's nothing wrong with that. We are entitled to (try and) date whoever we want to date. My "problem" seems to be opposite, in that I end up in relationships based on personality first, and then later start worrying about their looks and feeling "I could/should get someone better looking" :( I guess either way we need to learn to accept that being in an "imperfect" relationship isn't the end of the world. Dating someone who is physically less attractive than us is not the end of the world.
I hear wat ur saying. But its not true that things were better even if that person was just ur friend. Even though yes u had slept with them fir a period of time
Number 9 is the one I struggle with most now. As im starting to date again OCD trys to find any "flaws" in how the person looks. But I'm starting to recognise it more and I'm able to accept and carry on.
Hey! That's really good!
How does this channel only have 20k subs??!! Even people without OCD would really benefit from these videos, like breaking down irrational beliefs..
My ROCD isn’t about my girlfriend vs someone else, it’s about being in a relationship vs being single.
I’ve experienced that too
Fantastic! How can I see the reading list?
Thank you!
7:00 damn so true
Pocd please 🙏🙏
Thank you for this video found it incredibly helpful.
can you please talk about people pleasing and ocd? I find it so difficult to deal with combining with my hocd
Yes will do!
What book did he mention again?
OK I'm the 1st comment!
I suffer with ROCD in relation to being quite superficial with how someone looks. I body build and have somehow come to the distorted belief that the more muscular I am the more attractive I am to the opposite sex.
The bigger I get the more I feel I deserve or can attract a better looking girl.
I find it incredibly difficult to imagine dating someone physically less attractive than me.
Maybe it's an act of avoidance, and perhaps this is very narcissistic but I simply feel I could never be in a relationship with a girl who isn't as attractive as I feel I am.
I have always felt incredibly trapped when I get into relationships with commitment issues. And looks seem to substantially outweigh personality when I make a decision about a potential partner.
I understand other acceptance and that accomplishments and conditional appearances shouldn't be so much a focus but I think I rationalise getting with an extremely attractive girl by saying well if I get trapped with getting her pregnant at least she looks really good.
It's avoidance of discomfort and negative feelings I presume (and perhaps other irrational beliefs that you might be holding). A good idea would be to date someone you don't find your absolute ideal, perfect type - to see that it's not as horrible as your brain is making it out to be. Because even if you were to be with someone extremely attractive, OCD will morph and begin to find other flaws in her. So working on your worst case scenario and exposures is key. Also read The Myth of Self-Esteem.
I had to laugh a bit at your last sentence. Of course rationally we know that we wouldn't be happy with a very attractive partner who has a shit personality or treats us badly. But I know how you feel otherwise. I think we also can be rational and say that yes, physical looks do matter in choosing a partner, and yes many women will appreciate a man who has a good physique. And there's nothing wrong with that. We are entitled to (try and) date whoever we want to date. My "problem" seems to be opposite, in that I end up in relationships based on personality first, and then later start worrying about their looks and feeling "I could/should get someone better looking" :(
I guess either way we need to learn to accept that being in an "imperfect" relationship isn't the end of the world. Dating someone who is physically less attractive than us is not the end of the world.
I feel like I am NEVER going to get through this. I know I love my boyfriend, I just know it. But unfortunately my brain and body say otherwise.
How are you doing now?
@@tiffanyliranzo7187 unfortunately I am still struggling because I am still learning to cope. But, I do have some good days!
Also feeling like u have to tell person every lil thing , just cause it came to ur mind. Telling a person u r seeing or were seeing.is it Rocd?
That's confessing - and we have many videos on that on the channel.
I hear wat ur saying. But its not true that things were better even if that person was just ur friend. Even though yes u had slept with them fir a period of time