If less people engage in "sinful" things because they've been normalized into something equal parts mundane and unappealing, fundies would be angry because they believe you're supposed to be constantly struggling against temptation. The more you wanna do bad stuff but resist it, the more Godly(tm) you are. It's why they also hate asexuals and aromantics.
Ngl, I wouldn't be sad to see that happen. And to "the struggle against evil/temptation= godly," funny how they apply that to something utterly mundane, but when it comes to fighting back against domestic abuse, CSA, etc., you know, REAL evils that are making this world a fucked-up place, suddenly you hear crickets, or they try to distract you from the rot within their own churches.
Yes! I love Does the Dog Die because especially with popular media, you can usually get really good answers about even kinda of obscure triggers! 10/10 great resource!
Waaaait. Paul went to Parents Guide... for himself? Isn't that for parents to see if something is appropriate for their kids? Edit: How can Paul consider himself a film critic of any sort if he has to so severely limit the films he can watch...?
Well if Paul is like other christian fundemanlist husband (so incapable of doing chores like an adult), I am pretty sure we could consider him to be a child.
Yeah, based on this and his thoughts on the Barbie movie I have to wonder what makes him think he's qualified to call himself a critic even as an amateur.
Paul also can't watch a show or movie if a white person is dating a non white person. It makes him far too uncomfortable and annoyed. Don't call him rascist though or you'll hurt his feelings. He just feels like it shouldn't exist, and he shouldn't have to see that in his movies and shows.
It's funny, this really made me think about my childhood and how my parents taught me to think of these things. I was offered alcohol at lunch from a young age (never wanted any), told to go out with friends as much as I wanted and enjoy myself (without getting too severely hurt), taught that weed and other light drugs were okay so long as I was in a safe place with people I trusted, and my parents spoke quite openly (though not explicitly) about sex. The result? As an adult, I rarely drink, don't smoke, I've never cared at all about drugs, and I've never been interested at all in porn. My brother is quite similar. Hearing it described as simply as "banning sugar makes kids crave it" is a great explanation for this.
This was how my mother raised me. Due to trauma, there was a wild time in my teens it wasn't *quite* as effective as it may have been but in general I never really went off the rails like some friends I knew with stricter parents. The hilarious thing is my now husband's parents had a purity culture view on life and we were long-distance when we were teens. We would stay at my mum's house, sleeping together (in both senses of the word) and then we'd start at his parents house and not even be allowed to be in the same room together alone... so we'd go for a drive on their property to catch up. It never stopped us, just forced us to find other solutions. I've used the same logic with my daughter (now 17), it's actually a joke between us that one day we'll find an alcohol she'll actually like 😂 My rule after she hit her teens has very much been: it's your body and your life so you can set your own rules but do it safely. I'd rather her at home having safe sex or drinking under supervision than God knows where without a safety net.
My parents were the same. My father used to use the old school cold/flu remedy of a bit of Brandy when I got sick though. He mixed it with lemonade so it wouldn’t taste awful for me and it might have inadvertently given me the taste for it. Oops! Had frank open discussions about sex, STDs and the like. So I never felt weirded out by it nor did I ever hesitate to seek help for any questions about my body and indeed was always quick to ensure my own health growing up. I tried cigarettes once out of curiosity but ehh. Didn’t like it. I will admit to drinking unhealthily. But that’s probably more so the really bad habits I developed whilst being bored out of my mind during the lockdowns in my country lol Granted drinking alcohol was always somewhat encouraged by my elders around me, but it was always done with safety in mind as well when I was young. Honestly whilst on the surface it seems rather a “loose” style of parenting, it actually enabled me to be honest with my parents. Even if getting into trouble was a potential outcome. I never felt like I had to hide anything from them. In contrast to some of my friends with super strict parents who would rely on me for cover lol. More than once I had to step in when they obviously crossed their own limits.
It is so toxic how fundamentalism tells you that everybody is a sinner, but at the same time they make you feel like you have to be perfect. To the point where you're policing your own thoughts.
I understand why people will join churches like those though. When people feel like they are bad and broken because of the things they've done, churches tell them everyone is and there's a way to not be bad and broken anymore (repentance, Christ, yadda yadda). They accept that message and feel less guilty over the ways they've hurt others and themselves. The problem arises when a child who has never gotten the chance to make a major mistake is told "you are bad and broken just like everyone else". From there it devolves into compulsive self hatred for not being perfect.
I feel bad for girls born into fundie religion. That religion is such a brainwashing women oppressing cult . They literally make women feel and believe everything is their fault in their life problems and marriages. I feel bad for all women in that and hope they can all get away
Yup! Me too. And it’s so hard to be around ppl in it because you see why they don’t and they then just think you are sinning more or just going to hell. Meanwhile we are the healthiest we’ve ever been.
I don’t usually feel sad for Paul, but… stuff like this makes me so sad for him. making yourself suffer doesn’t make you a good and moral person. This level of self-policing and hyper vigilance can’t be good for them. Edit: annnd my sadness is gone. Lol
@@rishaa682 unfortunately I do believe he, and many others do actually believe this. I don't believe he is consistent, or that his rules are actually as strictly enforced or as beneficial as he claims, but I do believe that he believes. He just buries his head in the sand when anything that could possibly contradict his world view is threatened. tbh acting like these people don't exist is only going to make the situation worse. These people DO exist, they DO believe this, and mocking/ridiculing/saying that they are faking it, only gives them further ammunition to say "the rest of the world is wicked and will try to lead us astray, so don't even try to examine anything people say that disagrees with your beliefs" This is a common tactic for many of these types of groups - mormon missionaries for example, are told before they go door to door, that the rest of the world hates them and needs saving, and that people slamming doors in their faces, or yelling at them or being rude, are evidence that the world is a "wicked, sinful place' and that only 'we' are the good ones, so we have to save everyone else from themselves!"
The Bible says you must deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow the Lord. That does involve some discipline. But if you don't view the Bible as the ultimate authority then you wouldn't understand.
@@camillemitchell301The Bible is not an idol. This breaks the 2nd commandment. But if you don’t read the Bible with discernment, you wouldn’t understand.
I just find it interesting that Paul is hung up on the "raunch fest" aspect and not the explicit violence or horror elements. Those are far more present than the sex scenes
I’ve always wondered why Americans censor sex above violence, but maybe it has *everything* to do with the type of religion that influences everything in this country.
I escaped a 14 year abusive marriage only to later realize that I was in a terrifyingly similar relationship with the church. So I escaped that too, and I'm working with a therapist and using content like this to process it all.
i've always said (as someone who was abused in the church and from a family where multiple generations were abused in the church) part of the reason churches aren't so quick to point out abuse in relationships is because if their congregants can recognize abuse they may start getting ideas about their church or faith being abusive too
Whenever I see Paul, he always looks like he's on the verge of snapping. The human embodiment of a shaken up soda can. His eyes, body language, and those veins continually popping put me on edge. 😬
@@amberinthemist7912 while I understand why you've said what you've said - there are plenty of problematic things about paul without assuming things we don't have evidence for. Making claims for which there is no actual evidence will only minimize the credibility of the actual problematic behaviour he exhibits. To be clear I'm not saying he DOESN'T get violent, I'm just saying that as far as I'm aware, there is no evidence of this, whereas there is plenty of evidence for other atrocious, controlling, problematic behaviour, without adding in behaviours based on our personal judgements. Not to mention, that making claims he is violent when there is no evidence, will only serve to weaken any evidence that could come forward in future, because then they can point at all the comments that are untrue, and make a blanket statement claiming they're all just making up lies to make him look bad, which would distract from/discredit this hypothetical future evidence.
@@kezia8027 Good thing I'm not giving testimony in court or claiming to have first hand evidence. Based on his behavior and my life experiences I believe there is a 0 chance that he doesn't regularly thrown tantrums that he blames on external factors like his wife's behavior. That is part and parcel to his religion.
@@amberinthemist7912 if you would prefer to just 'dunk' on people you disagree with rather than actually caring about doing what you can to improve the situation then that's your prerogative. It is unfortunate that even taking a moment to think critically about how your actions can affect those around you, and the world at large is asking too much. Personally I'd prefer to take actions that improve people's lives rather than imagining situations that allow you to feel superior to others.
The self surveillance is truly debilitating when you already have anxiety. I didn't even go to a super fundamentalist church when I was younger but the self loathing was so real because I liked to read fanfic and watch TV that wasn't up to P&M's purity standards
I remember hearing the story about the husband who had a p**n addiction who smashed his computer and cellphone so he could stop sinning. And every time I so much as thought about sinning I felt like I couldn't have nice things if they might lead me to even consider sinning
Woof. They didn't have to want me to develop anxiety, watching Paul and Morgan interact gives me the same panicked feeling as being trapped on a road trip with a couple that's passive aggressively bickering the whole way 😭
In other words, a road trip with my parents, although that was more my mother passively aggressively trying to argue with my father while calling him passive aggressive for refusing to be baited...
As a 19 year old gal raised fundie who was recently diagnosed with an aniexty disorder, i really appreciate you speaking out against those sort of attitudes. Im tired of church telling me to be not anxious and then making me anxious about sin/hell and im tired of how the media is just fear, fear, fear all the time. It can be exhausting to live in a fear-crazy world as a person basically born fearful.
i rly appreciate your phrasing , born fearful. i struggle with anxiety too and i’m sorry you are facing that my friend! I’m glad you have found Mickey cause she’s mentioned a lot of things that have helped me manage my own anxiety. I hope ur able to treat yourself gently and kindly and im sending u the best of wishes n love
i feel like that's one of the major contradictions of fundamentalism, they're constantly fear-mongering about how the "enemy" is out to get Christians, yet they don't want people to be anxious because anxiety isn't pleasing to god. how is someone supposed to stay calm if they believe they're being targeted? how is it possible to be a "good" Christian by their standards without letting the fear of hell dominate your life?
I don't know if this scripture will help you, but fear is the opposite of love says the Bible itself. I thought that might be a helpful little brain hack as you're trying to overcome the hurt people have done. ❤️ "18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Same here. I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember and after getting diagnosed at 17 my mom started sending me Bible studies for anxiety and telling me that it was because I didn’t have a good enough relationship with God and that I needed to pray and read my Bible more to fix it. It’s so hard to get away from the fear once it’s been introduced
As a former fundamentalist, the switch from "taking thoughts captive" to just acknowledging that negative thoughts come and go and I can control how I respond to them, was just a massive relief. It's hard to fully describe the intense anxiety and fear that comes from being afraid of every peice of media and every world view that isn't explicitly Christian.
When I was a fundamentalist Christian, I think I was encouraged to put my anxiety in the drivers seat and call it God. Monitoring my thoughts, "seeking God's face" about what job/college/hobby I should pursue, purity culture. It was all anxiety in one form or other.
People like them are the real reason why so many people are developing mental illnesses in the first place. I’d know because I myself am a victim and I hate that I’m at a higher risk of being taken advantage of by people like them. That’s the one thing I hate about being autistic, but it’s not a good reason for them to shame us in the autism community like crap. It’s really disrespectful of them to think of us like that.
Mickey, from the bottom of my heart -- thank you for the work that you're doing. Time and time again your channel has been a wellspring of validation, clarity, affirmation, and hope for me as I have worked to deconstruct my toxic relationship with religion. Keep on keepin' on!
I found the sex in the Witcher to be super focused on both partners and mutual pleasure and attraction. It was not able uncomfortable in any way for me as a woman (who used to be VERY Christian). Sex scenes like the ones in the Witcher show how sex, something that we've been told is wrong; can be beautiful, mutual and very hot. Not sinful but beautiful. The author of the Witcher is in favor of women having bodily autonomy, a theme that appears often in the show. This idea is very opposed to how Paul and Morgan seem to think and therefore I can see how they would find it threatening.
When I first watched the show it took me a little off guard, but then I was like, "OK this isn't bad." Only one I reacted to was the one after the djinn, & honestly it made me laugh. Of all the ways I've seen sex shown, it's definitely one of the more healthy ones.
Mickey I laugh so hard at the faces you make when they talk. It reminds me of watching something wacky with your bestie. "Feeling the need to have explicit approval by an outside source in order to feel allowed to do things as an adult is very much a function of these oppressive and authoritarian religious groups." So true.
Being in this culture definitely made my anxiety disorder worse to the point where I still can't step into certain churches without having an anxiety attack. It's something I'm still trying to work through my religious trauma
TLDR: I would love to hear a discussion on the process of learning personal moderation. Context: your comment about not being restrictive about candy got me thinking, I am not able to have sugar chewy candy in my house without eating it all, I'm not sure why but I eventually just gave up buying it bc that is easier than getting on a sugar rollercoaster. It's really my only thing, I can have chocolate and won't binge, I can buy sugar free candy and be fine. By contrast, I have a friend who struggles with addiction in general and is in recovery - there are things that I can easily do in moderation that she has to avoid bc it will spiral for her. it seems that in general, intuitive eating is good, but perhaps there is wisdom in knowing yourself and modifying according to your needs?
I got super lucky with my kid, 14 years old now. He just happens to love vegetables. But his dad and I (both struggle with weight) did a couple things very purposefully. The words "healthy" and "treat" were never used. We always made sure there were diverse foods on the plate. He was never forced to eat or finish anything. And as he got older instead of talking about any food being negative or positive we talked about things like sugars and protein as components of different foods. At 14 his relationship with food is incredibly healthy. He'll try anything. He actively works to balance his food. He never (or very very rarely) eats past satiation. I'm sure much of this is dumb luck but I'd like to think we at the very least didn't pass on the negative mindsets around food that both his parents have.
Yeah I have a bit of a weight problem and an addiction to baked goods and chips. I know that sounds silly but if I want to keep my weight stable I have decided to not keep those foods in my home. If I want a small bag of chips I will go buy it. But then I’m done. For me it’s cause and effect. If I eat too much of my favorite foods I gain a lot of weight. It effects my blood pressure, fatty liver, etc etc. I do what works for me. Everyone is different.
You could look up a recent edition of the book "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch (they are the ones that coined the phrase way back in the when). I would recommend reading the whole thing and getting all the reasons and examples rather than trying to go it alone (based on this youtube comment). But essentially, the goal is to retrain your brain that chewy sugar candy IS allowed, and it's NOT special or restricted. The way you do this is to let yourself have it in the house and eat it whenever you want. This can be a really scary step, and it's easy to freak yourself out because you've been trained that it is wrong. And most likely you will eat a large amount of it at first. But eventually your brain gets used to the new way of thinking, and the cravings wear themselves out. (Once again, I would recommend reading the whole book, as they have tips and strategies and encouragement. For instance, they say that MANY people feel that this could never possible work for them, but that they have come out the other side.)
HI@@jadelinny - thanks for the book recommend! My personal context is a bit different. I have a bunch of health issues that have lead to trouble digesting and sometimes experience extreme drops in blood sugar. I also lose weight more easily than gain and if I find myself losing quickly I will 100% switch to the easy calories. But on a normal day, if I were to think about eating candy, the thought isn't, "I can't, that's bad!" it's simply that I remember what it's like to shake and not be able to do anything until I get my blood sugar stable. I think my reaction that lead to my comment was 2-fold. 1) I found it super fascinating to hear Mickey compare the fundie fear of moral corruption to disordered eating and thought the underlying thought process could make an interesting video. and 2) sometimes when people talk about intuitive eating it can come off, well, as black and white thinking. I suspect that comes from the fact that so many people need to hear it that it can get summarized at everyone needs to hear it. Because of this, I would also love to see a nuanced video discussing the underlying fear/avoidance that intuitive eating is trying to address. Again, thanks for the book recommendation and hope you have a great week :)
@@averywillow4327 Yes, for eating disorders (as opposed to just disordered eating) and health issues related to food, people should seek professional help instead of just reading a book! And yes, "intuitive eating" is kind of a buzzword on the social medias, but most of the content is just using the phrase and shows little evidence of actually understanding what the original authors were talking about.
The advice that I’ve heard from more normal Christian parents is not to censor kids too heavily (apart from regular age-appropriate ratings) and just… talk to your kids. If they feel like they can have a less judgemental conversation with their parents, and go to them for sound advice, it’s beneficial overall for other life situations and the parent/child relationship.
"as a male, I have to be on guard." This married man really thinks that if he sees one naked person he will lose control of himself and. . .what? Is he afraid of getting turned on?
The term "freedom in Christ" always confused me, even when I was a Christian. They said it meant "freedom from sin", but all I've ever witness is 24/7 hypervigilince and varying degrees of bondage. We're free from sin, but always have to be on the lookout and have our guard up? Our "armor on"???". Nothing about that speaks freedom to me.
Adding onto the idea of purity culture as Halloween candy- I also feel like there is a built in effect of restricting in that the inevitable binge is then used not only as an excuse to punish or shame, but an example of how the "Halloween candy" is just as bad as you were warned, so you are led to restrict even more.
The self-control over inbound media is a protective tactic. My sister is hardcore born again Evangelical Christian. Sure, she doesn't watch violence or sex stuff (although she LOVES true crime) but it isn't really about staying PG. It's about keeping certain ideas out. I tried to get her to watch Our Flag Means Death. Comedic, cartoon violence, no nudity, sex implied rather than shown. But she wouldn't watch it because it shows queer love. The reality is if she watched it and empathized with the characters would she be as able vote and actively advocate for anti-LGBT as easily? No. Seeing queer people as fully human and no better or worse than anyone else would seriously call into question some core tenets of her religion. It's very difficult these days to maintain a fundamentalist mindset when media shows diversity of thought to such a level. So these people are required to create a bubble around themselves, very purposefully and with full knowledge of what they are doing. While at the same time justifying it completely and unquestioningly. Very much 1984 double-think.
Hmm my twin is similar although she's currently on a Disney ban cause she hates magic and anything LGBTQ related and oddly enough she enjoys true crime it's very weird I've been wanting to see Our Flag Means death but I can't find it anywhere but I've seen enough reactions to know a bit about Bonnet and Blackbeard and I already adore them she got mad when I started singing We don't talk about Bruno cause of divination it's so stupid
@@LukeSilver-fe7iv Our Flag Means Death is on (HBO) Max but very easy to find on Putlocker etc. And the new season is starting Oct 5!!! I'm so excited. And I feel the frustration with your sister. Especially trying to censor your singing. I'm trans masc and showed up at my sister's place wearing a shirt that said, "Penis is a state of mind." She said to me, "It's offensive to wear that shirt around me because you know I'm against that ideology. How would _you_ feel if I wore a shirt that said 'Jesus Saves' to your house?!?" My response was somewhere along the line of, "Why would I ever care?" And then pointed out that she wore church and religious gear around me all the time and not once had it elicited a comment from me. That kind of struck her speechless. I've noticed that religious extremists always seem to assume that everyone else wants to censor and control others as much as they do. Which is rarely the case.
@@CorwinFound my phone can only allow for so many apps I wish it was on Netflix and yeah it's annoying how much Christians have to sensor everything. But what I find odd is everyone gets mad when I cuss but I heard my uncle do it all the time it's such a double standard. And yeah my sis wears religious shirts all the time and I've never once said anything.
"falling into sin" pretty much means youre going down some slippery slope towards depravity because you compromised on a rule in some way, at least that's how i would say the phrase is usually used
I use the parents guide to vet movies for my very christian mom 🤣 Sometimes I'll read it to her and she'll decide if she wants to watch the movie despite the warnings or not.
Their approach is really funny to me. I'm not even religious but, as an aro-ace who never saw anyone naked in my entire life, I was in complete and utter SHOCK the first time I watched Game of Thrones. I grew up watching sex scenes on TV but, for the most part, stuff is just implied and you don't actually see much. Game of Thrones just had such a high amount of full nudity (especially in the first season) that I went through a period of time questioning if maybe I'm also sex-repulsed because it was so jarring to me that it would legit make me sick to my stomach at first. But, unlike these people, I chose the exact opposite approach and decided the cure was "exposure therapy" and just kept watching. When season 2 aired I was so used to it that I was just like "Oh right, there's nudity in this show, I forgot" and I'd have no reaction to it anymore; to me, they were just nude people, nothing special about it. So yeah, the fact they're telling people not to watch "sinful" content is a great way to just not teach people any form of self-control. Better keep the Halloween candy away from them as well.
I didn't watch the show but I did read the books, and the sex scenes were pretty intense even in written form. Like...the sex was basically another form of violence in the books. It was rough to read, and I'm a sexual person. OMG Chris, "sexual person"? Is that even a term you dunder head? Anyway, there was an artistic point to the sex in the books so it wasn't just gratuitous to be shocking. I'm happy that you found a way to see a naked human body and not have strong negative reactions that were bothering you. We are all naked under our clothes after all; it's weirdos like P&M who make such a huge deal about it that makes nakedness into something it's necessarily not.
American evangelicals are disgustingly privileged. They thank Jesus for parking spaces and have dark nights of the soul over whether to listen to Taylor Swift. Meanwhile, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrestled with the moral and spiritual implications of assassinating Hitler.
I'm curious to know what they think about Christians who deal with naked bodies for their profession? Health care workers or even police encounter people who are naked. Do they sexualize all naked bodies? Like if Paul found a distressed woman that was naked, could he stay with her until an ambulance came? Or is that a threat because he's weak? They just seem really immature. I know this is slightly different than a sex scene in a movie but it's the frame in which they reason things.
I think it would be very difficult to navigate a healthy marriage with these prurient anxieties. If I were that scared of my own sexual thoughts, how would I feel about my partner watching TV without me? There would be unnecessary secrets, unexpressed opinions, quiet resentments etc. Uncomfortable.
"I'm a little bit of a film critic" Bruh, you have to check the parents guide before you watch films. There's no way he's been able to watch enough movies to have any authority on films lmao
@@Neotokyorider honestly I don't know how he could be a film critic if he can't handle anything sexy honestly. I'm aroace and even I can handle sex scenes in shows bet he couldn't even handle nostalgia critic
Really appreciate you so much. Convinced my life would look sooooo different if I had someone like you validating my teenage experience when I was still actively under the indoctrination in the church. Still so helpful. Just wish I got here like 15 years sooner 🤣🙏🏽👏🏽
Yeah. It would be one thing is fundamental gave you this terrifying message and impossible standards, but when you got anxious over it, they were like, "yeah, welcome to the club, dude. We all live in crippling anxiety. It's horrible, but we support you. This is what it means to be faithful. Do whatever weird and asocial thing you need to do to deal with the terror, and we won't judge you. Whatever it takes, we support you." But instead, they act like you're a bad person for having feelings. They send the message there's something wrong witu you, because you're having a totally predictable emotional response to their doctrine. You're supposed to be happy all the time. I sometimes wonder if the early church was more like this, up to the middle ages. There was more wiggle room around being a total weirdo and barely hanging on to society's standards, more of a 'small town' style acceptance of people. Lots of important early figures in Christianity may have had anxiety disorders or OCD, ranging Augustine to Martin Luther. these were people who did not fit into many social expectations of the day... and that was okay. Then again, maybe I'm full of it. This was also an era when you'd get burned at the stake for believing that Jesus was God and had the same essence as God except he was subjugate to God as the son, as opposed to believing Jesus and God were both from the same essence as co equals for eternity. You could get executed over messing that one up. So maybe they were less accommodating than I am imagining.
Apparently violence and murder are fine. Can watch all sorts for violence without wanting to go on a murder spree but can't watch a sex scene without crossing boundaries?? Make it make sense
@@ChristAndChristCrucified you're implying that paul's a sex fiend, is that it? no one with a healthy relationship with themselves and others obsesses over sex to the point that thinking of or seeing nudity is so detrimental they must shut off all contact with the source.
@@fax_machine Who's implying it? A man who can't go to the gym without his wife making multiple posts about those heathern whores who wear leggings to work out . . .
@@fax_machineHe has openly admitted he struggles with lusting after other women, so therefore he avoids things that would tempt him to do so, because he believes it could lead to other things, which it does for many people, and he wants to not only be faithful to his spouse, but to God from what I understand. I don’t know him personally, so I cannot say for sure, but if he is being honest about that, that’s a good thing to be honest about our struggles, and weaknesses, even if others openly mock us for them. The person above used an example that makes no sense whatsoever if we are talking about a murderer, same would be for an adulterer, or one that believes they would be tempted to cheat on their spouse, or to commit murder in the case above. We are talking about someone avoiding something that would tempt them to commit an act they don’t want to do, that they struggle with the desire, or have struggled in the past with doing, and they believe is morally wrong, such as adultery. You may not consider watching “pornography” committing adultery on your spouse if you were to use other women in it in place of your wife, but some people do, and it goes against their own conscience. He only mentioned pornography, so I have no idea if he believes it could lead to adultery in person with someone, however he has shared measures he has taken to help him, and shared it with others who deal with a similar issue they want to avoid. It may not make sense to you, but not everyone is the same, and has different struggles, and weaknesses, and get set off more easily by certain things, where others may not. Maybe if we had some empathy, and compassion for those who the video was actually directed to, and meant to help, which is born-again believers who struggle with that particular issue, and desire to avoid temptation for said issue, we would think differently about it. God Bless. ❤️🙏❤️🙏
I think they would love twighlight. It’s all about saving yourself for marriage. The only “sexy” scenes are super implied. And after they are married. That was why fan fiction like 50 Shades of Grey was written 😅
You know, it's surprising how much you can respect your partner and yourself when you realize that other humans are worthy of basic love and respect and start treating them that way - instead of viewing everyone through a narrow religious lens. Not cheating on your partner comes surprisingly easily when you realize they are a fellow human and not here to just serve you.
Probably my biggest regret from being raised in a fundamentalist religion is the years I spent struggling with perfectly normal sexual feelings. It truly does feel like you’re at war with yourself and it’s ultimately such a waste of mental energy.
This hits really close to the bone for me, because I was raised this way. Well, not quite as strict as it, but I used to go to a church that taught this in spades. The church shamed my mom out of watching her favorite soap operas and made her stop reading Danielle Steel, because they're "sinful". The youth group tried to get me to assign to myself an "accountability partner", which is basically someone my age who would hold me accountable for my deeds and thoughts. Even when I was a conservative Christian that rubbed me the wrong way and I never got one.
also i'm sorry but i the way Morgan speaks and what she says just rockets me back to middle school in my small TX town ruled by the cult-y church and how girls used to talk to me and around me about G-d. Like it was totally alien from how they talked about anything else and made me feel so uncomfortable. Anyone else?
Lately I've been thinking about why I enjoy content focused around deconstructing as someone who has never been religious. I've also recently started ED treatment, and your parallel about restriction hit home for me and I think may be why I find this content comforting. It criticizes the ED voice without being so direct that it's overwhelming. Thanks for always giving me something to think about.
Something I’ve noticed with my Christian friends is that even if my own actions or leisure don’t affect them directly, it’s still an issue for them because they’re “worried for my soul” or it’s just part of the dogma to encourage your fellow man to “live like a good Christian,” and that it all comes from a ✨ place of love ✨ Ok fam. But that doesn’t magically make it non-intrusive. What it is, quite honestly, is condescending and disrespectful. Ask literally anyone who had smothering/sheltering parents. Ask anyone who’s had a partner that controlled them and rendered their own privacy/autonomy non-existent. That not out of love. Love means you trust the other person to make their own decisions and grow. The rest comes from fear and insecurity, from a projected unhappiness with their own life. Anyways. I love my Christian friends, but, *sigh.* Sometimes, man. Sometimes…
For context, I’ve had a friend who sat me down for a serious conversation because for the past few years, I’d talked about some books that I’ve been reading, and on many occasions have helped me through the worst of my mental health crises. Books on Buddhism, Tibetan spiritual practices, Alan Watts lectures, witchcraft as a tool for self-reflection and healing, what psychedelics can reveal about the nature of reality, our place in the universe, freaking *math.* My friend commended my curiosity but also made it clear they didn’t approve of these topics I was just genuinely interested in. Why? Because they’re “unsubstantiated distractions from God.” Doesn’t matter that it offered me some much needed comfort, or led me to avenues of support and self-love. Didn’t mean anything, even after confiding in them that a lot of what I’d looked into helped me rise out of some chronic, life-threatening depression, no. It wasn’t “of God” and therefore shouldn’t be indulged. And it’s not that I think a Christian god can’t do any good-it just didn’t do any good for me. So I looked elsewhere, and wouldn’t you know it, I found meaning in life again. How about that huh?
The fact that nudity in Oppenheimer is more of a concern than the fact it's about the creation of the atomic bomb terrifies me. Now if y'all excuse me, I'm gonna watch Bullet Train. Because Aaron Taylor Johnson's adult film mustache is the facial hair of freedom.
I was a fundie/evangelical for ten years (been out for almost the same length!) and this was me. The anxiety I had was through the roof, thinking I was going to drop the ball at any moment. It peaked when I mention a show I watched (and like) and another Christian was like ‘Oh, you watched THAT’ just dripping with judgement. It makes you feel unworthy and that you can’t trust your own judgement. I’m still working on all this shit in therapy. Glad I got out of that cult.
22:16 I was a film critic and still write about film. The attitude Paul is talking about is a terrible one for anybody approaching film with the intention of appreciating and understanding it to have. The movies you watch are not always going to be comfortable. Sometimes they'll challenge you. It's your prerogative to stay away from things that you feel might be retraumatising or triggering, but art can often be a great way to confront and process challenging issues and to see the world through other perspectives. Film critic Roger Ebert wrote, "For me, the movies are like a machine that generates empathy". Empathy seems like something Paul actively wants to avoid.
Growing up I always went to the website Plugged In from Focus on the Family (does that website still exist lol?) and it would say negative things even about the most G rated kids movies. But my Mom wouldn't let me watch it without looking at that website 1st!
Oh yes yes yes! I remember this! Yeah ,if they had even brought up a movie , we weren't allowed to watch it. Those guys on plugged absolutely always knew what they were talking about lol. Looking back I think it was so strange that my parents allowed some random person to dictate what happened in our home. Turn your brains off and allow your pastor, elder or some guys from focus on the family do the thinking for you.
I can’t believe Paul actually decided to respond to this by bringing up her weight three different times. Such a hateful individual wrapped around “nice and respectful” fundamentalism.
He also jumped in the comments of the Thanks We Hate It Podcast to pretend to act respectable asking for a conversation. The bad-faith debate tactics are so egregious with him.
These guys make me so sad. They’ve limited their lives so much. And they also make me sick. “We give you a small pass because we hold fellow Christians to a higher standard” who the hell are they to hold anyone to any standard? Why are you the judge of us paul? What makes you better. 🤮
Omg Mickey. This describes my childhood so much. I am exmormon and there is literally a verse in the book of mormon that gets quoted a lot and members are encouraged to memorize it: "The natural man is an enemy to God and has been since the fall of Adam." The natural man is interpreted to mean any "appetite" people have... food, alcohol, sex, could be anything. How harmful is that?!? Thank you for being so validating and calling out the nasty when and where you see it! Every dection of this was amazing.
more than ever thinking about black sails explicitly saying 'know no shame' and flint's dragon speech 🥺🥺 (not to mention the conniption paul would face from the nudity watching the show 💀☠) "This is how they survive. You must know this. You're too smart not to know this. They paint the world full of shadows... and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons, their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn't true. We can prove that it isn't true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it."
That pause at 25:27 after reading "non-religious" followed by the condescending tone about "holding Christians to a higher standard"...I don't know why, but that made me prickle so much. I guess just after watching snark channels for so long where they're so open and welcoming to their religious viewers and are always careful to say, "remember, I'm not making fun of you, I'm making fun of these individuals" and here's Paul barely able to get through one comment from a non-religious viewer who's actively agreeing with him. Like, oh my god he must be just a delight to know in person 🙄
16:50 Not gonna lie, this bit from Morgan was initially giving me “If you or a loved has suffered from mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation.”
Speaking of "allowed" media: Jehovah's witnesses deemed Michael Jackson demonic and satanic after "Thriller". It was banned and my mom learned of his music when he died! FIY, like a year later, Jackson apologized in JW's Awake May 22nd 1984
The infantilization of adults in these controlling religious institutes is mind-boggling. While I appreciate the opinions of other adults I am not going to a website geared towards parents regulating their child’s viewing habits to dictate what I watch. It’s so icky.
I already l have enough anxiety from generalized anxiety disorder, I don't need more from Paul and Morgan's shitty and harmful advice. I feel bad for people with anxiety who unironically follow their advice
Not only does this over-analysis of media make fundies act very restrictively in their consumption of media, but I think that they add to how certain things are commodified in their lives and relationships. Since they can't view anything remotely sexual, now their marriage has to be the main outlet that they experience or retain any satisfaction or exploration. It's like only being able to eat your own homemade meals and nothing else whatsoever.
It's this culture that played a major role in me developing OCD. People like Paul and Morgan have no idea how much they hurt others by propagating these ideas!
honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't care either. Because even when you can tell them "doing this hurt me" it's always some shit like "well, you must have been doing it wrong" or "that's the enemy trying to get in your head." It's like they're entirely incapable of truly listening to you.
I'm astounded the sex and nudity is the only thing that gave Paul pause about watching the Witcher. I don't know what kind of house brand fundamentalism he dabbles in, but the name brand Christian Fundamentalist Evangelicalism I was raised in trained me to avoid all the magic and "witchcraft" as well. Heck, the title of the show alone was enough to tell me that my parents would absolutely never watch it, and that it was absolutely something I was going to love watching. And I do. 💜
I began the process of deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing about 10 years ago, and even though I consider myself a non-religious pantheist, I still struggle a lot of the issues you talk about in this video. It’s very much a 2 steps forward, 1 step back feeling. I’m making progress every day, though. What worries me the most now are all of the children who are still being indoctrinated into this, like my niece and nephew. It kills me that the best case scenario for them at this point is to eventually begin the long and often difficult road of deconstruction themselves.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who gets "childlike' vibes with them...Morgan especially. She seems so immature and mentally stunted and it's weird...
Paul be like: Im excited to watch a movie about a guy making an atomic bomb to turn asian people into dust but there it a BOOBIE. HOW COULD THEY GLORIFY SUCH AWFULNESS
I understand where Mickey is coming from about Paul and Morgan and how they negatively view and talk about sexuality, but she and a lot of the comments are coming off as if they think an adult checking a parental guide for themselves is childish in and of itself. Some people use it as a trigger warning guide. Some people simply want to avoid watching certain types of scenes because they don’t like them. I personally do not like watching other people have sex. A lot of it is the way the scenes are often filmed as if to bring you in on the sexual encounter and that makes me feel gross because that is not something I want to be included in. It gives me the "ick" feeling to watch. I don’t think it’s childish to not want to get used to watching other people have sex when it’s not something I want to see. And for me, it’s not about nudity. Non-sexualized graphic nudity doesn’t bother me because bodies exist, everyone has one of some kind or another. Also, The Witcher has so much more than "side boob." I personally decided not to watch it myself even though it would otherwise be the type of show I would watch. Just as no one should be shamed for watching, no one should be shamed for not watching something. Though I do understand talking about the different reasons behind watching or not watching something. I don’t look up media to see if I’m allowed to watch it, but to see if I even want to watch what’s in it because, I, myself, personally just do not enjoy seeing graphic sexual content.
It really bothers me that fundie Christians treat every human, especially men, as sex addicts. It really sets some of them up to eventually have a sex problem bc they don’t know how to regulate and then also feeling shame. My ex grew up very restricted/sheltered and continued to use the Paul and Morgan way of thinking as he grew up… and now he’s an adult with so many problems.
Paul needs to do some serious introspection. I've watched the Witcher and I don't have Yennefer's breasts burned into my retinas... I think that both he and Morgan should be more alarmed about his seeming lack of control and respect when confronted with these types of things... Maybe look inside rather than blame the thing for existing. If I eat a whole chocolate cake in one go, it's my fault for eating the cake.... not the cake's fault for existing.
If they didn’t shame people like that, they’d actually be pretty similar to how I as a repulsed aroace approaches watching stuff. I just don’t wanna see any of it. Not out of shame or conditioning, but cause I don’t find it nice to look at. However, if something happens I can just groan and look away for a few moments instead of avoiding something I wanna watch entirely 🤷♂️
I love hearing Aaron’s commentary in the background, lol. You guys are the best. Paul and Morgan seem to have doubled down on their fundamentalism after being humiliated on Shiny Happy People. They can’t accept that their opinions are unhealthy or damaging and instead are saying “yes, this is correct, the world is just attacking us for being Christians”. A little self reflection from them would go a long way, but that’s too scary.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I personally determine if a church or belief system is dangerous. I have three main thoughts: it is dangerous if the church is constantly talking about sin and hell and demons and Satan, because in those situations they are controlling people through fear. It is dangerous if a church is giving prescriptive guidelines about how to please God through your behaviors, like not watching certain shows or dressing in a particular way, because again this creates fear particularly of “the world” which isolates members from their society and the support that can be found there. And it is dangerous when a church teaches authority structures or submission because it invalidates and disempowers victims of abuse, keeping them trapped in situations that are deeply damaging. I can’t take the way these people are ruled by fear and dogma. They aren’t allowed to think for themselves and want others to be in that same disempowered environment where they have no voice and no choice. Fuck all of that. Jesus was fully against dependency on rules and custom, he was speaking for the disempowered and valuing those people regardless of their personal choices, and that’s why his message lives on. These people want to remove that message because they gain power by hurting others and they are seeking that. Paul and Morgan are complete clowns.
Oh my man. This video describes my parents to nearly a T. I wasn't allowed to watch that show called Charmed, because of the witchcraft in it, and my dad forbade me when I about 10. I still snuck and watched it XD. And recently I had a huge fight with my mom about swimsuits, and shes the type who who grew up with the same mindset as P and M and I refuse to listen and live by her mindset just to make HER more comfortable; and no doubt in my mind both my parents had severe anxiety around these types of shows. Thank god I live alone.
They missed Oppenheimer. I feel sad for them. the thing is, yes there is sex and nudity in the movie., But this is a serious movie about an important and complicated man. The point is SEX IS A PART OF LIFE. it was a part of Oppenheimer's life, I think the movie would have been diminished if the sexual scenes were removed. And Paul here reads a chat about a person who was uncomfortable with the sex in Game of Thrones. I couldn't get past the first beheading.
I just started seeing a new therapist last week after seeing one for several years and just not feeling like she "got" me or was helping. I won't lie and say that your videos didn't help me find someone who gelled with me more and whose approach I really like. Listening to your videos helped me verbalize what I need from a past-trauma, post-religious, post-purity culture, deconstruction kind of view. THANK YOU Mickey!!!
Im with you, I do feel like this obsession with the minutiae of what's arousing, not from an educational point of view but almost from a simultaneously obsessed and judgemental towards others and self point of view does seem to be something I notice coming from purity culture. People for whom sex and kink are normalised don't talk about it that much unless the conversation is specifically educational about sex or medical stuff (including psychology) or or about sex/kink - this fixation or obsession with detail doesn't creep it's way into genenal teaching or semi professional conversations EXCEPT in fundie purity culture circles and it becomes weirdly inappropriate- the forced "accountability" is almost as if someone is describing their kinks to you unsolicited. It's kind of similar to the conservative obsession with gay/queer/trans people and even with gay/queer/trans children, which besides being inappropriate includes body obsession and finegrained sexual/gender expression control and incredibly intimate levels of bodily autonomy and privacy violations to achieve this which which which is very much grooming while simultaneously accusing those who simply don't force conversion therapy on those children of being the groomers, as if if you point the finger at someone else first to accuse them and instigate a witch hunt then you can't be identified as actually guilty of the crime (which reminds me of The Crucible tbh, where accusing someone else and being complicit in witchhunting someone else could make people accusing others automatically perceived as innocent.)
Completely agree. A lot of the mania (for lack of a better word) around sex in these circles is entirely self-inflicted, and it's frustrating that P can hide behind his "personal struggle with P addiction" while still peddling the exact advice that's known to cause and exacerbate those issues in the first place.
i was raised in evangelical christianity and my children's church teacher taught us that if we watched shows/movies like harry potter or wizards of waverly place that demons were going to come out of the tv and haunt/possess us. i was around 8/9 years old at the time (and extremely anxious). wizards of waverly place was my favorite tv show, and i knew i wasn't going to stop watching it lol so i would obsessively ask for forgiveness after watching it and pray for god's protection against the demons i supposedly released 🙃 i have since left the religion and am in the process of deconstructing. working with my therapist has helped me not only heal from a lot of the religious trauma but also realize that the church i went to had major cult vibes.
I can't believe how many people follow them 2. They are very inexperienced with life and push their views as if they know reality. Pretty scary for their young followers like the teens.
It matters so much what other people do because they feel personally robbed. They cannot convince themselves inside that it’s worth it for it’s own sake, and constantly seeing other people being happy with their choices and making human connections shows how they are so wrong. Luv u Micky
it’s so funny to think a grown ass man is going on parenting filter websites for his own viewing 💀😭 y’all think they got search blockers on their wifi too?
This is such a weird concept to me. My parents never restricted me from watching/playing things (to an extent) and by 12 they didn’t care. My best friend’s mom was the same with her, but we were raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools so lots of our peers couldn’t watch/play a lot of things we could.
Paul and Morgan are the type of people who would avoid a video game because it has a full nudity setting, despite the fact that it’s completely optional, simply because the “yes” button is a temptation.
Did Paul not see a National Geographic growing up??? If he gets "lit" from a TV show, then their marriage has even more issues than we already know about...
As someone with anxiety I feel like restricting urself leads to making ur anxiety worse. By all means avoid something that may be triggering for u but don't take it to the extreme like Paul and Morgan have done. Now this is just my personal experience so take it with a massive amount of salt but just because I have social anxiety doesn't mean I lock myself in my house and never intract with the world, rather when I go out I have coping mechanics in place that help me keep my anxiety in the passenger or back seat. I do limit myself to a degree but without denying myself the ability to watch or do things I know I will enjoy
Honest, what I get from this is that Paul really wants to watch The Witcher and he is frustrated that his self-imposed excessively strict & judgmental morality code doesn't let him enjoy it.
Is she OK? She sounds like she's on something. I know that part of it is the "meek and mild" bs, but I'm hearing some sluring in her speech, and she looks like she's on the verge of tears. I hope I'm wrong.
![[TH] FS vs BME - VCT Ascension Pacific - Lower Bracket Final](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/wnygqsR2Fig/mqdefault.jpg)
Sometimes it really feels like if you told fundies that normalizing sexuality makes you less inclined to do "sinful" things, their heads would explode
you’re not wrong
If less people engage in "sinful" things because they've been normalized into something equal parts mundane and unappealing, fundies would be angry because they believe you're supposed to be constantly struggling against temptation. The more you wanna do bad stuff but resist it, the more Godly(tm) you are. It's why they also hate asexuals and aromantics.
Ngl, I wouldn't be sad to see that happen.
And to "the struggle against evil/temptation= godly," funny how they apply that to something utterly mundane, but when it comes to fighting back against domestic abuse, CSA, etc., you know, REAL evils that are making this world a fucked-up place, suddenly you hear crickets, or they try to distract you from the rot within their own churches.
To at least some degree, they wouldn't care. It's not really about improving the world for them, it's about obedience.
oh they absolutely do blue screen, or get super mad and call you a pedophile because they don't want to actually try to think things through
I personally use "Does The Dog Die?" before watching movies and shows, since I can't handle seeing dogs die or get seriously hurt.
Lol! I need sufficient prep for trauma concerning the pet's character being harmed.
Same!! I have stopped watching a playthrough of A Plague Tale because the dog dies in the intro and I couldn't handle it 😢
Yes DDD is a great resource for triggers!
As a CSA survivor I use sites like these to avoid triggering content.
Yes! I love Does the Dog Die because especially with popular media, you can usually get really good answers about even kinda of obscure triggers! 10/10 great resource!
Waaaait. Paul went to Parents Guide... for himself? Isn't that for parents to see if something is appropriate for their kids?
Edit: How can Paul consider himself a film critic of any sort if he has to so severely limit the films he can watch...?
Lol! He has no internal guide for discernment! All external sources. He's someone who would be very easy for say... idk... a system to control him???
Paul would blush at the sight of a woman's shoulders
Well if Paul is like other christian fundemanlist husband (so incapable of doing chores like an adult), I am pretty sure we could consider him to be a child.
@@somik-i3x Oh, you know he does NOTHING around the house
@@ericb9252Paul is just Morgan first child not his husband.
Paul: I am a film critic.
Also Paul : I can't watch a movie with feminism or the naked shoulder of a woman.
Yeah, based on this and his thoughts on the Barbie movie I have to wonder what makes him think he's qualified to call himself a critic even as an amateur.
Oppenheimer showed a lot more than a shoulder 😂 but you’re so right
Lol
I thought "porn shoulder" was a Mormon thing?
Paul also can't watch a show or movie if a white person is dating a non white person. It makes him far too uncomfortable and annoyed. Don't call him rascist though or you'll hurt his feelings. He just feels like it shouldn't exist, and he shouldn't have to see that in his movies and shows.
It's funny, this really made me think about my childhood and how my parents taught me to think of these things.
I was offered alcohol at lunch from a young age (never wanted any), told to go out with friends as much as I wanted and enjoy myself (without getting too severely hurt), taught that weed and other light drugs were okay so long as I was in a safe place with people I trusted, and my parents spoke quite openly (though not explicitly) about sex.
The result?
As an adult, I rarely drink, don't smoke, I've never cared at all about drugs, and I've never been interested at all in porn. My brother is quite similar.
Hearing it described as simply as "banning sugar makes kids crave it" is a great explanation for this.
This was how my mother raised me. Due to trauma, there was a wild time in my teens it wasn't *quite* as effective as it may have been but in general I never really went off the rails like some friends I knew with stricter parents. The hilarious thing is my now husband's parents had a purity culture view on life and we were long-distance when we were teens. We would stay at my mum's house, sleeping together (in both senses of the word) and then we'd start at his parents house and not even be allowed to be in the same room together alone... so we'd go for a drive on their property to catch up. It never stopped us, just forced us to find other solutions.
I've used the same logic with my daughter (now 17), it's actually a joke between us that one day we'll find an alcohol she'll actually like 😂 My rule after she hit her teens has very much been: it's your body and your life so you can set your own rules but do it safely. I'd rather her at home having safe sex or drinking under supervision than God knows where without a safety net.
@@writeonshell So your husband parent thought you only can have sex in a bedroom ? This is kind of despressing and funny at the same time.
Yea I didn't get none of that, but I tried wine disgusting. Don't smoke, I do watch porn but it's great so lmao
My parents were the same. My father used to use the old school cold/flu remedy of a bit of Brandy when I got sick though.
He mixed it with lemonade so it wouldn’t taste awful for me and it might have inadvertently given me the taste for it. Oops!
Had frank open discussions about sex, STDs and the like. So I never felt weirded out by it nor did I ever hesitate to seek help for any questions about my body and indeed was always quick to ensure my own health growing up.
I tried cigarettes once out of curiosity but ehh. Didn’t like it.
I will admit to drinking unhealthily. But that’s probably more so the really bad habits I developed whilst being bored out of my mind during the lockdowns in my country lol
Granted drinking alcohol was always somewhat encouraged by my elders around me, but it was always done with safety in mind as well when I was young.
Honestly whilst on the surface it seems rather a “loose” style of parenting, it actually enabled me to be honest with my parents. Even if getting into trouble was a potential outcome. I never felt like I had to hide anything from them. In contrast to some of my friends with super strict parents who would rely on me for cover lol. More than once I had to step in when they obviously crossed their own limits.
“Over-romanticize love” I feel like Morgan is telling on herself a little with that one!
Yeah, I find it weird too.
Oop you’re so right.
Ironic given how this was the opposite complaint she had for the Barbie movie.
I found that so weird😂
It is so toxic how fundamentalism tells you that everybody is a sinner, but at the same time they make you feel like you have to be perfect. To the point where you're policing your own thoughts.
I understand why people will join churches like those though. When people feel like they are bad and broken because of the things they've done, churches tell them everyone is and there's a way to not be bad and broken anymore (repentance, Christ, yadda yadda). They accept that message and feel less guilty over the ways they've hurt others and themselves.
The problem arises when a child who has never gotten the chance to make a major mistake is told "you are bad and broken just like everyone else". From there it devolves into compulsive self hatred for not being perfect.
damn you make such a good point. this is rly thoughtful
Ex Christian here, thought crime was “real”. Even being angry at someone I was told is “murdering them in your heart”
Literally the reason I have OCD 😒😒😒
I feel bad for girls born into fundie religion. That religion is such a brainwashing women oppressing cult . They literally make women feel and believe everything is their fault in their life problems and marriages. I feel bad for all women in that and hope they can all get away
“Over-romanticize love” is one of the most objectively ridiculous things i’ve ever heard
As a former fundamentalist, it is taken years of therapy to get out of the shame/anxiety spiral I was raised in.
Same!
Yup! Me too. And it’s so hard to be around ppl in it because you see why they don’t and they then just think you are sinning more or just going to hell. Meanwhile we are the healthiest we’ve ever been.
Same I’m a few months in the process of deconstruction
Being indoctrinated as a kid gave me crippling OCD. Could finally live again when I left that religion
Same 💚
I don’t usually feel sad for Paul, but… stuff like this makes me so sad for him. making yourself suffer doesn’t make you a good and moral person. This level of self-policing and hyper vigilance can’t be good for them.
Edit: annnd my sadness is gone. Lol
you think he means this? you dont think he’s a grifter?😂
@@rishaa682 unfortunately I do believe he, and many others do actually believe this. I don't believe he is consistent, or that his rules are actually as strictly enforced or as beneficial as he claims, but I do believe that he believes. He just buries his head in the sand when anything that could possibly contradict his world view is threatened.
tbh acting like these people don't exist is only going to make the situation worse. These people DO exist, they DO believe this, and mocking/ridiculing/saying that they are faking it, only gives them further ammunition to say "the rest of the world is wicked and will try to lead us astray, so don't even try to examine anything people say that disagrees with your beliefs"
This is a common tactic for many of these types of groups - mormon missionaries for example, are told before they go door to door, that the rest of the world hates them and needs saving, and that people slamming doors in their faces, or yelling at them or being rude, are evidence that the world is a "wicked, sinful place' and that only 'we' are the good ones, so we have to save everyone else from themselves!"
@rishaa682 I grew up in fundamentalist Christianity and know many people who think like him.
The Bible says you must deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow the Lord. That does involve some discipline. But if you don't view the Bible as the ultimate authority then you wouldn't understand.
@@camillemitchell301The Bible is not an idol. This breaks the 2nd commandment. But if you don’t read the Bible with discernment, you wouldn’t understand.
I just find it interesting that Paul is hung up on the "raunch fest" aspect and not the explicit violence or horror elements. Those are far more present than the sex scenes
Violence is less offensive for a fundemantalist than sex. Maybe they think God approve violence.
I’ve always wondered why Americans censor sex above violence, but maybe it has *everything* to do with the type of religion that influences everything in this country.
I also don't know why the magic/fantasy part doesn't bother him either. I was never allowed to watch anything like that because of the magic
@@GalaRed-DeliciousAmbrosiaor possibly NC-17
So true I thought he was going to talk about the violence not sex lol
I escaped a 14 year abusive marriage only to later realize that I was in a terrifyingly similar relationship with the church. So I escaped that too, and I'm working with a therapist and using content like this to process it all.
i've always said (as someone who was abused in the church and from a family where multiple generations were abused in the church) part of the reason churches aren't so quick to point out abuse in relationships is because if their congregants can recognize abuse they may start getting ideas about their church or faith being abusive too
@@2121bassplayer very fair point I'd think!
Whenever I see Paul, he always looks like he's on the verge of snapping. The human embodiment of a shaken up soda can. His eyes, body language, and those veins continually popping put me on edge. 😬
Oh he for sure has violent tantrums on a regular basis. And Morgan has to apologize for setting him off. I've known too many religious men like him.
@@amberinthemist7912 while I understand why you've said what you've said - there are plenty of problematic things about paul without assuming things we don't have evidence for. Making claims for which there is no actual evidence will only minimize the credibility of the actual problematic behaviour he exhibits.
To be clear I'm not saying he DOESN'T get violent, I'm just saying that as far as I'm aware, there is no evidence of this, whereas there is plenty of evidence for other atrocious, controlling, problematic behaviour, without adding in behaviours based on our personal judgements.
Not to mention, that making claims he is violent when there is no evidence, will only serve to weaken any evidence that could come forward in future, because then they can point at all the comments that are untrue, and make a blanket statement claiming they're all just making up lies to make him look bad, which would distract from/discredit this hypothetical future evidence.
@@kezia8027 Good thing I'm not giving testimony in court or claiming to have first hand evidence. Based on his behavior and my life experiences I believe there is a 0 chance that he doesn't regularly thrown tantrums that he blames on external factors like his wife's behavior. That is part and parcel to his religion.
@@amberinthemist7912 if you would prefer to just 'dunk' on people you disagree with rather than actually caring about doing what you can to improve the situation then that's your prerogative.
It is unfortunate that even taking a moment to think critically about how your actions can affect those around you, and the world at large is asking too much.
Personally I'd prefer to take actions that improve people's lives rather than imagining situations that allow you to feel superior to others.
@@amberinthemist7912 your actions only serve to perpetuate these situations, and alienate those who need the most support of all.
The self surveillance is truly debilitating when you already have anxiety. I didn't even go to a super fundamentalist church when I was younger but the self loathing was so real because I liked to read fanfic and watch TV that wasn't up to P&M's purity standards
I remember hearing the story about the husband who had a p**n addiction who smashed his computer and cellphone so he could stop sinning. And every time I so much as thought about sinning I felt like I couldn't have nice things if they might lead me to even consider sinning
"It's worth the sacrifice of not watching Twilight" was honestly one if the funniest things I've heard in my life! I cackled so loud 😂😂😂
Woof. They didn't have to want me to develop anxiety, watching Paul and Morgan interact gives me the same panicked feeling as being trapped on a road trip with a couple that's passive aggressively bickering the whole way 😭
Same here. I wouldn't want to be trapped in the same car with them, that sounds like hell
Right??? They’re so icky and they don’t even seem to like each other. They seem sour and like they’d be a real drag.
Childish couple. And man what a lot of rules.
I am so uncomfortable whenever I see them. It just seems like Morgan HATES Paul.
In other words, a road trip with my parents, although that was more my mother passively aggressively trying to argue with my father while calling him passive aggressive for refusing to be baited...
As a 19 year old gal raised fundie who was recently diagnosed with an aniexty disorder, i really appreciate you speaking out against those sort of attitudes. Im tired of church telling me to be not anxious and then making me anxious about sin/hell and im tired of how the media is just fear, fear, fear all the time. It can be exhausting to live in a fear-crazy world as a person basically born fearful.
i rly appreciate your phrasing , born fearful. i struggle with anxiety too and i’m sorry you are facing that my friend! I’m glad you have found Mickey cause she’s mentioned a lot of things that have helped me manage my own anxiety. I hope ur able to treat yourself gently and kindly and im sending u the best of wishes n love
i feel like that's one of the major contradictions of fundamentalism, they're constantly fear-mongering about how the "enemy" is out to get Christians, yet they don't want people to be anxious because anxiety isn't pleasing to god. how is someone supposed to stay calm if they believe they're being targeted? how is it possible to be a "good" Christian by their standards without letting the fear of hell dominate your life?
I don't know if this scripture will help you, but fear is the opposite of love says the Bible itself. I thought that might be a helpful little brain hack as you're trying to overcome the hurt people have done. ❤️
"18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
Same here. I’ve struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember and after getting diagnosed at 17 my mom started sending me Bible studies for anxiety and telling me that it was because I didn’t have a good enough relationship with God and that I needed to pray and read my Bible more to fix it. It’s so hard to get away from the fear once it’s been introduced
As a former fundamentalist, the switch from "taking thoughts captive" to just acknowledging that negative thoughts come and go and I can control how I respond to them, was just a massive relief. It's hard to fully describe the intense anxiety and fear that comes from being afraid of every peice of media and every world view that isn't explicitly Christian.
This kind of restriction sure didn't help Josh Duggar.
Good one
When I was a fundamentalist Christian, I think I was encouraged to put my anxiety in the drivers seat and call it God. Monitoring my thoughts, "seeking God's face" about what job/college/hobby I should pursue, purity culture. It was all anxiety in one form or other.
I’ve never thought about it that way but that’s exactly what it was for me too!
I am reminded of how Jeanette McCurdy decided that her OCD had to be the Voice of God as a child.
Oh my gosh you're exactly right!
People like them are the real reason why so many people are developing mental illnesses in the first place. I’d know because I myself am a victim and I hate that I’m at a higher risk of being taken advantage of by people like them. That’s the one thing I hate about being autistic, but it’s not a good reason for them to shame us in the autism community like crap. It’s really disrespectful of them to think of us like that.
I literally laughed out loud when you said “I think there’s a lot of things that Paul doesn’t comprehend”
Mickey, from the bottom of my heart -- thank you for the work that you're doing. Time and time again your channel has been a wellspring of validation, clarity, affirmation, and hope for me as I have worked to deconstruct my toxic relationship with religion. Keep on keepin' on!
Me too!!
I found the sex in the Witcher to be super focused on both partners and mutual pleasure and attraction. It was not able uncomfortable in any way for me as a woman (who used to be VERY Christian). Sex scenes like the ones in the Witcher show how sex, something that we've been told is wrong; can be beautiful, mutual and very hot. Not sinful but beautiful.
The author of the Witcher is in favor of women having bodily autonomy, a theme that appears often in the show. This idea is very opposed to how Paul and Morgan seem to think and therefore I can see how they would find it threatening.
When I first watched the show it took me a little off guard, but then I was like, "OK this isn't bad." Only one I reacted to was the one after the djinn, & honestly it made me laugh. Of all the ways I've seen sex shown, it's definitely one of the more healthy ones.
Mickey I laugh so hard at the faces you make when they talk. It reminds me of watching something wacky with your bestie.
"Feeling the need to have explicit approval by an outside source in order to feel allowed to do things as an adult is very much a function of these oppressive and authoritarian religious groups." So true.
Being in this culture definitely made my anxiety disorder worse to the point where I still can't step into certain churches without having an anxiety attack. It's something I'm still trying to work through my religious trauma
❤ I'm in a very similar boat. Sending you love and light on your journey of healing.
TLDR: I would love to hear a discussion on the process of learning personal moderation. Context: your comment about not being restrictive about candy got me thinking, I am not able to have sugar chewy candy in my house without eating it all, I'm not sure why but I eventually just gave up buying it bc that is easier than getting on a sugar rollercoaster. It's really my only thing, I can have chocolate and won't binge, I can buy sugar free candy and be fine. By contrast, I have a friend who struggles with addiction in general and is in recovery - there are things that I can easily do in moderation that she has to avoid bc it will spiral for her. it seems that in general, intuitive eating is good, but perhaps there is wisdom in knowing yourself and modifying according to your needs?
I got super lucky with my kid, 14 years old now. He just happens to love vegetables. But his dad and I (both struggle with weight) did a couple things very purposefully. The words "healthy" and "treat" were never used. We always made sure there were diverse foods on the plate. He was never forced to eat or finish anything. And as he got older instead of talking about any food being negative or positive we talked about things like sugars and protein as components of different foods.
At 14 his relationship with food is incredibly healthy. He'll try anything. He actively works to balance his food. He never (or very very rarely) eats past satiation. I'm sure much of this is dumb luck but I'd like to think we at the very least didn't pass on the negative mindsets around food that both his parents have.
Yeah I have a bit of a weight problem and an addiction to baked goods and chips. I know that sounds silly but if I want to keep my weight stable I have decided to not keep those foods in my home. If I want a small bag of chips I will go buy it. But then I’m done. For me it’s cause and effect. If I eat too much of my favorite foods I gain a lot of weight. It effects my blood pressure, fatty liver, etc etc. I do what works for me. Everyone is different.
You could look up a recent edition of the book "Intuitive Eating" by Tribole and Resch (they are the ones that coined the phrase way back in the when).
I would recommend reading the whole thing and getting all the reasons and examples rather than trying to go it alone (based on this youtube comment). But essentially, the goal is to retrain your brain that chewy sugar candy IS allowed, and it's NOT special or restricted. The way you do this is to let yourself have it in the house and eat it whenever you want. This can be a really scary step, and it's easy to freak yourself out because you've been trained that it is wrong. And most likely you will eat a large amount of it at first. But eventually your brain gets used to the new way of thinking, and the cravings wear themselves out.
(Once again, I would recommend reading the whole book, as they have tips and strategies and encouragement. For instance, they say that MANY people feel that this could never possible work for them, but that they have come out the other side.)
HI@@jadelinny - thanks for the book recommend! My personal context is a bit different. I have a bunch of health issues that have lead to trouble digesting and sometimes experience extreme drops in blood sugar. I also lose weight more easily than gain and if I find myself losing quickly I will 100% switch to the easy calories. But on a normal day, if I were to think about eating candy, the thought isn't, "I can't, that's bad!" it's simply that I remember what it's like to shake and not be able to do anything until I get my blood sugar stable.
I think my reaction that lead to my comment was 2-fold. 1) I found it super fascinating to hear Mickey compare the fundie fear of moral corruption to disordered eating and thought the underlying thought process could make an interesting video. and 2) sometimes when people talk about intuitive eating it can come off, well, as black and white thinking. I suspect that comes from the fact that so many people need to hear it that it can get summarized at everyone needs to hear it. Because of this, I would also love to see a nuanced video discussing the underlying fear/avoidance that intuitive eating is trying to address.
Again, thanks for the book recommendation and hope you have a great week :)
@@averywillow4327 Yes, for eating disorders (as opposed to just disordered eating) and health issues related to food, people should seek professional help instead of just reading a book!
And yes, "intuitive eating" is kind of a buzzword on the social medias, but most of the content is just using the phrase and shows little evidence of actually understanding what the original authors were talking about.
The advice that I’ve heard from more normal Christian parents is not to censor kids too heavily (apart from regular age-appropriate ratings) and just… talk to your kids. If they feel like they can have a less judgemental conversation with their parents, and go to them for sound advice, it’s beneficial overall for other life situations and the parent/child relationship.
"as a male, I have to be on guard." This married man really thinks that if he sees one naked person he will lose control of himself and. . .what? Is he afraid of getting turned on?
And why do they have trouble with a married couple watching sex scenes together? That's so weird.
The term "freedom in Christ" always confused me, even when I was a Christian. They said it meant "freedom from sin", but all I've ever witness is 24/7 hypervigilince and varying degrees of bondage. We're free from sin, but always have to be on the lookout and have our guard up? Our "armor on"???". Nothing about that speaks freedom to me.
Adding onto the idea of purity culture as Halloween candy-
I also feel like there is a built in effect of restricting in that the inevitable binge is then used not only as an excuse to punish or shame, but an example of how the "Halloween candy" is just as bad as you were warned, so you are led to restrict even more.
The self-control over inbound media is a protective tactic. My sister is hardcore born again Evangelical Christian. Sure, she doesn't watch violence or sex stuff (although she LOVES true crime) but it isn't really about staying PG. It's about keeping certain ideas out.
I tried to get her to watch Our Flag Means Death. Comedic, cartoon violence, no nudity, sex implied rather than shown. But she wouldn't watch it because it shows queer love. The reality is if she watched it and empathized with the characters would she be as able vote and actively advocate for anti-LGBT as easily? No. Seeing queer people as fully human and no better or worse than anyone else would seriously call into question some core tenets of her religion.
It's very difficult these days to maintain a fundamentalist mindset when media shows diversity of thought to such a level. So these people are required to create a bubble around themselves, very purposefully and with full knowledge of what they are doing. While at the same time justifying it completely and unquestioningly. Very much 1984 double-think.
Hmm my twin is similar although she's currently on a Disney ban cause she hates magic and anything LGBTQ related and oddly enough she enjoys true crime it's very weird I've been wanting to see Our Flag Means death but I can't find it anywhere but I've seen enough reactions to know a bit about Bonnet and Blackbeard and I already adore them she got mad when I started singing We don't talk about Bruno cause of divination it's so stupid
@@LukeSilver-fe7iv Our Flag Means Death is on (HBO) Max but very easy to find on Putlocker etc. And the new season is starting Oct 5!!! I'm so excited.
And I feel the frustration with your sister. Especially trying to censor your singing. I'm trans masc and showed up at my sister's place wearing a shirt that said, "Penis is a state of mind." She said to me, "It's offensive to wear that shirt around me because you know I'm against that ideology. How would _you_ feel if I wore a shirt that said 'Jesus Saves' to your house?!?" My response was somewhere along the line of, "Why would I ever care?" And then pointed out that she wore church and religious gear around me all the time and not once had it elicited a comment from me. That kind of struck her speechless.
I've noticed that religious extremists always seem to assume that everyone else wants to censor and control others as much as they do. Which is rarely the case.
@@CorwinFound my phone can only allow for so many apps I wish it was on Netflix and yeah it's annoying how much Christians have to sensor everything. But what I find odd is everyone gets mad when I cuss but I heard my uncle do it all the time it's such a double standard. And yeah my sis wears religious shirts all the time and I've never once said anything.
Morgan: "...falling into sin"
FALLING INTO SIN? As an atheist, WTF DOES THAT MEAN??
I think it mean seeing a woman shoulder ? Not sure if it's the shoulder or ankle.
"falling into sin" pretty much means youre going down some slippery slope towards depravity because you compromised on a rule in some way, at least that's how i would say the phrase is usually used
I really think they do want all women in a constant state of panic.
I use the parents guide to vet movies for my very christian mom 🤣 Sometimes I'll read it to her and she'll decide if she wants to watch the movie despite the warnings or not.
Putting the parent on parents guide lol
Their approach is really funny to me. I'm not even religious but, as an aro-ace who never saw anyone naked in my entire life, I was in complete and utter SHOCK the first time I watched Game of Thrones. I grew up watching sex scenes on TV but, for the most part, stuff is just implied and you don't actually see much. Game of Thrones just had such a high amount of full nudity (especially in the first season) that I went through a period of time questioning if maybe I'm also sex-repulsed because it was so jarring to me that it would legit make me sick to my stomach at first. But, unlike these people, I chose the exact opposite approach and decided the cure was "exposure therapy" and just kept watching. When season 2 aired I was so used to it that I was just like "Oh right, there's nudity in this show, I forgot" and I'd have no reaction to it anymore; to me, they were just nude people, nothing special about it. So yeah, the fact they're telling people not to watch "sinful" content is a great way to just not teach people any form of self-control. Better keep the Halloween candy away from them as well.
Game of thrones sex scenes and nudity also died down a LOT until near on non existent in the final season.
Plus Game of Thrones sex scenes were designed to bring up strong emotions of disgust or horror. Porgan would incinerate on the spot.
I didn't watch the show but I did read the books, and the sex scenes were pretty intense even in written form. Like...the sex was basically another form of violence in the books. It was rough to read, and I'm a sexual person. OMG Chris, "sexual person"? Is that even a term you dunder head? Anyway, there was an artistic point to the sex in the books so it wasn't just gratuitous to be shocking. I'm happy that you found a way to see a naked human body and not have strong negative reactions that were bothering you. We are all naked under our clothes after all; it's weirdos like P&M who make such a huge deal about it that makes nakedness into something it's necessarily not.
paul and morgan sure are connected with reality to proclaim not watching Twilight as the ultimate sacrifice.
Lol!
this comment wins the internet for today
American evangelicals are disgustingly privileged. They thank Jesus for parking spaces and have dark nights of the soul over whether to listen to Taylor Swift. Meanwhile, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrestled with the moral and spiritual implications of assassinating Hitler.
That’s the proof that just by forbidding something you make it enticing 😂😂😂
Funny enough, Twilight was written by a Mormon.
Yeah one of the most surprising things after leaving religion was that the things that are now "allowed" aren't even a big deal anymore
I'm curious to know what they think about Christians who deal with naked bodies for their profession? Health care workers or even police encounter people who are naked. Do they sexualize all naked bodies? Like if Paul found a distressed woman that was naked, could he stay with her until an ambulance came? Or is that a threat because he's weak? They just seem really immature. I know this is slightly different than a sex scene in a movie but it's the frame in which they reason things.
I think it would be very difficult to navigate a healthy marriage with these prurient anxieties. If I were that scared of my own sexual thoughts, how would I feel about my partner watching TV without me? There would be unnecessary secrets, unexpressed opinions, quiet resentments etc. Uncomfortable.
"I checked the parents guide" I lost it at that one. You're a grown damn adult man.
"I'm a little bit of a film critic" Bruh, you have to check the parents guide before you watch films. There's no way he's been able to watch enough movies to have any authority on films lmao
@@Neotokyorider honestly I don't know how he could be a film critic if he can't handle anything sexy honestly. I'm aroace and even I can handle sex scenes in shows bet he couldn't even handle nostalgia critic
Many flavors of Christianity (and other religions) are very set on and designed for keeping the followers perpetual children, on some levels.
Really appreciate you so much. Convinced my life would look sooooo different if I had someone like you validating my teenage experience when I was still actively under the indoctrination in the church. Still so helpful. Just wish I got here like 15 years sooner 🤣🙏🏽👏🏽
Yeah. It would be one thing is fundamental gave you this terrifying message and impossible standards, but when you got anxious over it, they were like, "yeah, welcome to the club, dude. We all live in crippling anxiety. It's horrible, but we support you. This is what it means to be faithful. Do whatever weird and asocial thing you need to do to deal with the terror, and we won't judge you. Whatever it takes, we support you."
But instead, they act like you're a bad person for having feelings. They send the message there's something wrong witu you, because you're having a totally predictable emotional response to their doctrine. You're supposed to be happy all the time.
I sometimes wonder if the early church was more like this, up to the middle ages. There was more wiggle room around being a total weirdo and barely hanging on to society's standards, more of a 'small town' style acceptance of people. Lots of important early figures in Christianity may have had anxiety disorders or OCD, ranging Augustine to Martin Luther. these were people who did not fit into many social expectations of the day... and that was okay.
Then again, maybe I'm full of it. This was also an era when you'd get burned at the stake for believing that Jesus was God and had the same essence as God except he was subjugate to God as the son, as opposed to believing Jesus and God were both from the same essence as co equals for eternity. You could get executed over messing that one up. So maybe they were less accommodating than I am imagining.
Suggestion for merch: bottle of ranch dressing that says “Hidden Valley Raunch Fest”
Morgan mija blink twice if
You want out lol she gives me an “over it “ vibe
Apparently violence and murder are fine. Can watch all sorts for violence without wanting to go on a murder spree but can't watch a sex scene without crossing boundaries?? Make it make sense
If a murderer or someone who has thoughts of murder is trying to avoid that temptation, then yes watching those things could make it worse. 🤔
@@ChristAndChristCrucified you're implying that paul's a sex fiend, is that it? no one with a healthy relationship with themselves and others obsesses over sex to the point that thinking of or seeing nudity is so detrimental they must shut off all contact with the source.
Basically comparing sexual desire to psychopathy??? Again, makes no sense.
@@fax_machine Who's implying it? A man who can't go to the gym without his wife making multiple posts about those heathern whores who wear leggings to work out . . .
@@fax_machineHe has openly admitted he struggles with lusting after other women, so therefore he avoids things that would tempt him to do so, because he believes it could lead to other things, which it does for many people, and he wants to not only be faithful to his spouse, but to God from what I understand. I don’t know him personally, so I cannot say for sure, but if he is being honest about that, that’s a good thing to be honest about our struggles, and weaknesses, even if others openly mock us for them. The person above used an example that makes no sense whatsoever if we are talking about a murderer, same would be for an adulterer, or one that believes they would be tempted to cheat on their spouse, or to commit murder in the case above. We are talking about someone avoiding something that would tempt them to commit an act they don’t want to do, that they struggle with the desire, or have struggled in the past with doing, and they believe is morally wrong, such as adultery. You may not consider watching “pornography” committing adultery on your spouse if you were to use other women in it in place of your wife, but some people do, and it goes against their own conscience. He only mentioned pornography, so I have no idea if he believes it could lead to adultery in person with someone, however he has shared measures he has taken to help him, and shared it with others who deal with a similar issue they want to avoid. It may not make sense to you, but not everyone is the same, and has different struggles, and weaknesses, and get set off more easily by certain things, where others may not. Maybe if we had some empathy, and compassion for those who the video was actually directed to, and meant to help, which is born-again believers who struggle with that particular issue, and desire to avoid temptation for said issue, we would think differently about it. God Bless. ❤️🙏❤️🙏
I think they would love twighlight. It’s all about saving yourself for marriage. The only “sexy” scenes are super implied. And after they are married. That was why fan fiction like 50 Shades of Grey was written 😅
Well the author is a mormon and the whole series was basically an anti abortion rant, so that makes sense.
You know, it's surprising how much you can respect your partner and yourself when you realize that other humans are worthy of basic love and respect and start treating them that way - instead of viewing everyone through a narrow religious lens. Not cheating on your partner comes surprisingly easily when you realize they are a fellow human and not here to just serve you.
Probably my biggest regret from being raised in a fundamentalist religion is the years I spent struggling with perfectly normal sexual feelings. It truly does feel like you’re at war with yourself and it’s ultimately such a waste of mental energy.
This hits really close to the bone for me, because I was raised this way. Well, not quite as strict as it, but I used to go to a church that taught this in spades. The church shamed my mom out of watching her favorite soap operas and made her stop reading Danielle Steel, because they're "sinful". The youth group tried to get me to assign to myself an "accountability partner", which is basically someone my age who would hold me accountable for my deeds and thoughts. Even when I was a conservative Christian that rubbed me the wrong way and I never got one.
also i'm sorry but i the way Morgan speaks and what she says just rockets me back to middle school in my small TX town ruled by the cult-y church and how girls used to talk to me and around me about G-d. Like it was totally alien from how they talked about anything else and made me feel so uncomfortable. Anyone else?
Lately I've been thinking about why I enjoy content focused around deconstructing as someone who has never been religious. I've also recently started ED treatment, and your parallel about restriction hit home for me and I think may be why I find this content comforting. It criticizes the ED voice without being so direct that it's overwhelming. Thanks for always giving me something to think about.
Closing his eyes during a sex scene is "all those hoops"?!? But this overthinking and research and self inflicted guilt isn't??
Something I’ve noticed with my Christian friends is that even if my own actions or leisure don’t affect them directly, it’s still an issue for them because they’re “worried for my soul” or it’s just part of the dogma to encourage your fellow man to “live like a good Christian,” and that it all comes from a ✨ place of love ✨
Ok fam. But that doesn’t magically make it non-intrusive. What it is, quite honestly, is condescending and disrespectful. Ask literally anyone who had smothering/sheltering parents. Ask anyone who’s had a partner that controlled them and rendered their own privacy/autonomy non-existent. That not out of love. Love means you trust the other person to make their own decisions and grow. The rest comes from fear and insecurity, from a projected unhappiness with their own life.
Anyways. I love my Christian friends, but, *sigh.* Sometimes, man. Sometimes…
For context, I’ve had a friend who sat me down for a serious conversation because for the past few years, I’d talked about some books that I’ve been reading, and on many occasions have helped me through the worst of my mental health crises. Books on Buddhism, Tibetan spiritual practices, Alan Watts lectures, witchcraft as a tool for self-reflection and healing, what psychedelics can reveal about the nature of reality, our place in the universe, freaking *math.* My friend commended my curiosity but also made it clear they didn’t approve of these topics I was just genuinely interested in. Why? Because they’re “unsubstantiated distractions from God.” Doesn’t matter that it offered me some much needed comfort, or led me to avenues of support and self-love. Didn’t mean anything, even after confiding in them that a lot of what I’d looked into helped me rise out of some chronic, life-threatening depression, no. It wasn’t “of God” and therefore shouldn’t be indulged.
And it’s not that I think a Christian god can’t do any good-it just didn’t do any good for me. So I looked elsewhere, and wouldn’t you know it, I found meaning in life again. How about that huh?
The fact that nudity in Oppenheimer is more of a concern than the fact it's about the creation of the atomic bomb terrifies me.
Now if y'all excuse me, I'm gonna watch Bullet Train. Because Aaron Taylor Johnson's adult film mustache is the facial hair of freedom.
I was a fundie/evangelical for ten years (been out for almost the same length!) and this was me. The anxiety I had was through the roof, thinking I was going to drop the ball at any moment.
It peaked when I mention a show I watched (and like) and another Christian was like ‘Oh, you watched THAT’ just dripping with judgement.
It makes you feel unworthy and that you can’t trust your own judgement. I’m still working on all this shit in therapy. Glad I got out of that cult.
I need "That's not how the human experience works, Paul" on a t-shirt, please. that and "raunch fest" can be your next merch release.
22:16 I was a film critic and still write about film. The attitude Paul is talking about is a terrible one for anybody approaching film with the intention of appreciating and understanding it to have. The movies you watch are not always going to be comfortable. Sometimes they'll challenge you. It's your prerogative to stay away from things that you feel might be retraumatising or triggering, but art can often be a great way to confront and process challenging issues and to see the world through other perspectives. Film critic Roger Ebert wrote, "For me, the movies are like a machine that generates empathy". Empathy seems like something Paul actively wants to avoid.
Growing up I always went to the website Plugged In from Focus on the Family (does that website still exist lol?) and it would say negative things even about the most G rated kids movies. But my Mom wouldn't let me watch it without looking at that website 1st!
Oh yes yes yes! I remember this! Yeah ,if they had even brought up a movie , we weren't allowed to watch it. Those guys on plugged absolutely always knew what they were talking about lol. Looking back I think it was so strange that my parents allowed some random person to dictate what happened in our home. Turn your brains off and allow your pastor, elder or some guys from focus on the family do the thinking for you.
Well, I totally agree with them that watching Twilight is a bad idea. But probably not for the same reasons.
I can’t believe Paul actually decided to respond to this by bringing up her weight three different times. Such a hateful individual wrapped around “nice and respectful” fundamentalism.
He also jumped in the comments of the Thanks We Hate It Podcast to pretend to act respectable asking for a conversation. The bad-faith debate tactics are so egregious with him.
These guys make me so sad. They’ve limited their lives so much. And they also make me sick. “We give you a small pass because we hold fellow Christians to a higher standard” who the hell are they to hold anyone to any standard? Why are you the judge of us paul? What makes you better. 🤮
Omg Mickey. This describes my childhood so much.
I am exmormon and there is literally a verse in the book of mormon that gets quoted a lot and members are encouraged to memorize it: "The natural man is an enemy to God and has been since the fall of Adam." The natural man is interpreted to mean any "appetite" people have... food, alcohol, sex, could be anything. How harmful is that?!?
Thank you for being so validating and calling out the nasty when and where you see it! Every dection of this was amazing.
Yep. That lined burned a hole through my mind as a child. Totally warped my views and made me hate myself.
@@amberinthemist7912 oh I am so sorry. That line definitely echoed in my head a lot too. It is so destructive.
asking this with concern in genuine good faith - is morgan fucking okay???
more than ever thinking about black sails explicitly saying 'know no shame' and flint's dragon speech 🥺🥺 (not to mention the conniption paul would face from the nudity watching the show 💀☠)
"This is how they survive. You must know this. You're too smart not to know this. They paint the world full of shadows... and then tell their children to stay close to the light. Their light. Their reasons, their judgments. Because in the darkness, there be dragons. But it isn't true. We can prove that it isn't true. In the dark, there is discovery, there is possibility, there is freedom in the dark once someone has illuminated it."
That pause at 25:27 after reading "non-religious" followed by the condescending tone about "holding Christians to a higher standard"...I don't know why, but that made me prickle so much. I guess just after watching snark channels for so long where they're so open and welcoming to their religious viewers and are always careful to say, "remember, I'm not making fun of you, I'm making fun of these individuals" and here's Paul barely able to get through one comment from a non-religious viewer who's actively agreeing with him. Like, oh my god he must be just a delight to know in person 🙄
16:50 Not gonna lie, this bit from Morgan was initially giving me “If you or a loved has suffered from mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation.”
Speaking of "allowed" media: Jehovah's witnesses deemed Michael Jackson demonic and satanic after "Thriller". It was banned and my mom learned of his music when he died! FIY, like a year later, Jackson apologized in JW's Awake May 22nd 1984
The infantilization of adults in these controlling religious institutes is mind-boggling. While I appreciate the opinions of other adults I am not going to a website geared towards parents regulating their child’s viewing habits to dictate what I watch. It’s so icky.
I already l have enough anxiety from generalized anxiety disorder, I don't need more from Paul and Morgan's shitty and harmful advice. I feel bad for people with anxiety who unironically follow their advice
Not only does this over-analysis of media make fundies act very restrictively in their consumption of media, but I think that they add to how certain things are commodified in their lives and relationships. Since they can't view anything remotely sexual, now their marriage has to be the main outlet that they experience or retain any satisfaction or exploration. It's like only being able to eat your own homemade meals and nothing else whatsoever.
It's this culture that played a major role in me developing OCD. People like Paul and Morgan have no idea how much they hurt others by propagating these ideas!
honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't care either. Because even when you can tell them "doing this hurt me" it's always some shit like "well, you must have been doing it wrong" or "that's the enemy trying to get in your head." It's like they're entirely incapable of truly listening to you.
I'm astounded the sex and nudity is the only thing that gave Paul pause about watching the Witcher. I don't know what kind of house brand fundamentalism he dabbles in, but the name brand Christian Fundamentalist Evangelicalism I was raised in trained me to avoid all the magic and "witchcraft" as well. Heck, the title of the show alone was enough to tell me that my parents would absolutely never watch it, and that it was absolutely something I was going to love watching. And I do. 💜
I began the process of deconstructing my fundamentalist upbringing about 10 years ago, and even though I consider myself a non-religious pantheist, I still struggle a lot of the issues you talk about in this video. It’s very much a 2 steps forward, 1 step back feeling. I’m making progress every day, though. What worries me the most now are all of the children who are still being indoctrinated into this, like my niece and nephew. It kills me that the best case scenario for them at this point is to eventually begin the long and often difficult road of deconstruction themselves.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who gets "childlike' vibes with them...Morgan especially. She seems so immature and mentally stunted and it's weird...
Paul be like: Im excited to watch a movie about a guy making an atomic bomb to turn asian people into dust but there it a BOOBIE. HOW COULD THEY GLORIFY SUCH AWFULNESS
I love the circle where we see your reaction. Its like your in same room with them pulling faces haha😂
The idea that the sex content in The Witcher is “severe” is wild to me.
I understand where Mickey is coming from about Paul and Morgan and how they negatively view and talk about sexuality, but she and a lot of the comments are coming off as if they think an adult checking a parental guide for themselves is childish in and of itself.
Some people use it as a trigger warning guide. Some people simply want to avoid watching certain types of scenes because they don’t like them.
I personally do not like watching other people have sex. A lot of it is the way the scenes are often filmed as if to bring you in on the sexual encounter and that makes me feel gross because that is not something I want to be included in. It gives me the "ick" feeling to watch. I don’t think it’s childish to not want to get used to watching other people have sex when it’s not something I want to see. And for me, it’s not about nudity. Non-sexualized graphic nudity doesn’t bother me because bodies exist, everyone has one of some kind or another.
Also, The Witcher has so much more than "side boob." I personally decided not to watch it myself even though it would otherwise be the type of show I would watch.
Just as no one should be shamed for watching, no one should be shamed for not watching something. Though I do understand talking about the different reasons behind watching or not watching something.
I don’t look up media to see if I’m allowed to watch it, but to see if I even want to watch what’s in it because, I, myself, personally just do not enjoy seeing graphic sexual content.
It really bothers me that fundie Christians treat every human, especially men, as sex addicts. It really sets some of them up to eventually have a sex problem bc they don’t know how to regulate and then also feeling shame.
My ex grew up very restricted/sheltered and continued to use the Paul and Morgan way of thinking as he grew up… and now he’s an adult with so many problems.
Paul needs to do some serious introspection. I've watched the Witcher and I don't have Yennefer's breasts burned into my retinas... I think that both he and Morgan should be more alarmed about his seeming lack of control and respect when confronted with these types of things... Maybe look inside rather than blame the thing for existing.
If I eat a whole chocolate cake in one go, it's my fault for eating the cake.... not the cake's fault for existing.
That cake had it coming
If they didn’t shame people like that, they’d actually be pretty similar to how I as a repulsed aroace approaches watching stuff. I just don’t wanna see any of it. Not out of shame or conditioning, but cause I don’t find it nice to look at. However, if something happens I can just groan and look away for a few moments instead of avoiding something I wanna watch entirely 🤷♂️
I love hearing Aaron’s commentary in the background, lol. You guys are the best. Paul and Morgan seem to have doubled down on their fundamentalism after being humiliated on Shiny Happy People. They can’t accept that their opinions are unhealthy or damaging and instead are saying “yes, this is correct, the world is just attacking us for being Christians”. A little self reflection from them would go a long way, but that’s too scary.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I personally determine if a church or belief system is dangerous. I have three main thoughts: it is dangerous if the church is constantly talking about sin and hell and demons and Satan, because in those situations they are controlling people through fear. It is dangerous if a church is giving prescriptive guidelines about how to please God through your behaviors, like not watching certain shows or dressing in a particular way, because again this creates fear particularly of “the world” which isolates members from their society and the support that can be found there. And it is dangerous when a church teaches authority structures or submission because it invalidates and disempowers victims of abuse, keeping them trapped in situations that are deeply damaging.
I can’t take the way these people are ruled by fear and dogma. They aren’t allowed to think for themselves and want others to be in that same disempowered environment where they have no voice and no choice. Fuck all of that. Jesus was fully against dependency on rules and custom, he was speaking for the disempowered and valuing those people regardless of their personal choices, and that’s why his message lives on. These people want to remove that message because they gain power by hurting others and they are seeking that. Paul and Morgan are complete clowns.
Oh my man. This video describes my parents to nearly a T. I wasn't allowed to watch that show called Charmed, because of the witchcraft in it, and my dad forbade me when I about 10. I still snuck and watched it XD. And recently I had a huge fight with my mom about swimsuits, and shes the type who who grew up with the same mindset as P and M and I refuse to listen and live by her mindset just to make HER more comfortable; and no doubt in my mind both my parents had severe anxiety around these types of shows. Thank god I live alone.
They missed Oppenheimer. I feel sad for them. the thing is, yes there is sex and nudity in the movie., But this is a serious movie about an important and complicated man. The point is SEX IS A PART OF LIFE. it was a part of Oppenheimer's life, I think the movie would have been diminished if the sexual scenes were removed.
And Paul here reads a chat about a person who was uncomfortable with the sex in Game of Thrones. I couldn't get past the first beheading.
Do you think Paul and Morgan have sex with their eyes close in the most dark room of their house ?
I just started seeing a new therapist last week after seeing one for several years and just not feeling like she "got" me or was helping. I won't lie and say that your videos didn't help me find someone who gelled with me more and whose approach I really like. Listening to your videos helped me verbalize what I need from a past-trauma, post-religious, post-purity culture, deconstruction kind of view. THANK YOU Mickey!!!
Im with you, I do feel like this obsession with the minutiae of what's arousing, not from an educational point of view but almost from a simultaneously obsessed and judgemental towards others and self point of view does seem to be something I notice coming from purity culture.
People for whom sex and kink are normalised don't talk about it that much unless the conversation is specifically educational about sex or medical stuff (including psychology) or or about sex/kink - this fixation or obsession with detail doesn't creep it's way into genenal teaching or semi professional conversations EXCEPT in fundie purity culture circles and it becomes weirdly inappropriate- the forced "accountability" is almost as if someone is describing their kinks to you unsolicited.
It's kind of similar to the conservative obsession with gay/queer/trans people and even with gay/queer/trans children, which besides being inappropriate includes body obsession and finegrained sexual/gender expression control and incredibly intimate levels of bodily autonomy and privacy violations to achieve this which which which is very much grooming while simultaneously accusing those who simply don't force conversion therapy on those children of being the groomers, as if if you point the finger at someone else first to accuse them and instigate a witch hunt then you can't be identified as actually guilty of the crime (which reminds me of The Crucible tbh, where accusing someone else and being complicit in witchhunting someone else could make people accusing others automatically perceived as innocent.)
Completely agree. A lot of the mania (for lack of a better word) around sex in these circles is entirely self-inflicted, and it's frustrating that P can hide behind his "personal struggle with P addiction" while still peddling the exact advice that's known to cause and exacerbate those issues in the first place.
i was raised in evangelical christianity and my children's church teacher taught us that if we watched shows/movies like harry potter or wizards of waverly place that demons were going to come out of the tv and haunt/possess us.
i was around 8/9 years old at the time (and extremely anxious). wizards of waverly place was my favorite tv show, and i knew i wasn't going to stop watching it lol so i would obsessively ask for forgiveness after watching it and pray for god's protection against the demons i supposedly released 🙃
i have since left the religion and am in the process of deconstructing. working with my therapist has helped me not only heal from a lot of the religious trauma but also realize that the church i went to had major cult vibes.
I can't believe how many people follow them 2. They are very inexperienced with life and push their views as if they know reality. Pretty scary for their young followers like the teens.
Yet they are not at all disturbed by all the gratuitous violence in media. They seem more obsessed with sex than most.
It matters so much what other people do because they feel personally robbed. They cannot convince themselves inside that it’s worth it for it’s own sake, and constantly seeing other people being happy with their choices and making human connections shows how they are so wrong. Luv u Micky
it’s so funny to think a grown ass man is going on parenting filter websites for his own viewing 💀😭
y’all think they got search blockers on their wifi too?
I will be saying "raunch fest" at every opportunity I get
This reminds me of when I’d purposely trigger my OCD so I could “test” myself
Ope mood lmao
Paul and Morgan's followers went off over the art on the wall. They are so pissed that someone actually loves everyone.
This is such a weird concept to me. My parents never restricted me from watching/playing things (to an extent) and by 12 they didn’t care. My best friend’s mom was the same with her, but we were raised Catholic and went to Catholic schools so lots of our peers couldn’t watch/play a lot of things we could.
Paul and Morgan are the type of people who would avoid a video game because it has a full nudity setting, despite the fact that it’s completely optional, simply because the “yes” button is a temptation.
They're the people who (based on a true story, btw) would thoroughly enjoy a war movie until one of the characters used a swear word.
Did Paul not see a National Geographic growing up??? If he gets "lit" from a TV show, then their marriage has even more issues than we already know about...
As someone with anxiety I feel like restricting urself leads to making ur anxiety worse. By all means avoid something that may be triggering for u but don't take it to the extreme like Paul and Morgan have done. Now this is just my personal experience so take it with a massive amount of salt but just because I have social anxiety doesn't mean I lock myself in my house and never intract with the world, rather when I go out I have coping mechanics in place that help me keep my anxiety in the passenger or back seat. I do limit myself to a degree but without denying myself the ability to watch or do things I know I will enjoy
Honest, what I get from this is that Paul really wants to watch The Witcher and he is frustrated that his self-imposed excessively strict & judgmental morality code doesn't let him enjoy it.
Is she OK? She sounds like she's on something. I know that part of it is the "meek and mild" bs, but I'm hearing some sluring in her speech, and she looks like she's on the verge of tears. I hope I'm wrong.
Guys, gals, nonpals, it's okay to like the sexy TV show.