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Well at least, MLB banned infielders from transforming into Blue Whales after the traumatic aftermath of 2015's World Series playoffs. I still hear the screams of pain and angoy that led to hours of theapry.
typical crybabies, you lost, get over it! a few thousands get crushed and suddenly all whine, but when someone, from their team pulls an amazing catch in the shape of a orangutan and suddenly its perfectly legal, double standards much?
We gotta be careful, though. It's only a matter of time before someone turns into a dragon and all of a sudden we're just watching dragon... ball... Nevermind we need to push this hard.
150T 20W fan extractor i apologize for my assumption, i come from the mundanity realm, where everything is normal, no shapeshifting or cool character generation things (to an extent)
Absolutely not! Infield shape-shifting is a skill/ability of the player! It's natural and has many strategic uses and no one should be able to ban that!
JakeLikesJoking exactly. It's up to teams themselves to hire players who will benefit their team best, get some specialists if you don't have enough! Don't punish the strong
It's like banning guys that have genetically better athletic ability. I can see banning some of the freaks that are turning into lizards and sperm whales, but it just gets ridiculous at some point! But when you see a Dodgers rookie morph into a giant hippopotamus and maul the other side, that's the television people want to see!
Jesus guys, honestly I think there should be rules, no great apes, no birds larger than a falcon, no hipoptomi, and no fucking cryptids, I don't care if Darnell Estavez saw a Sasquatch I don't think he should be allowed too use that form because it has too many advantages, and pulling it out in the final stretch when no one was expecting it, I wasn't ready too see an evolved austrilopithacene hit a home run, and he nearly crushed Chris Johnson like literally. There comes a point where it just needs too stop
There’s also the midform shift. When you see the shortstop turn into a wolfman instead of going all the way to wolf, that adds a lot of muscle mass and increases the reflex speed. That confuses the hell out of MLB officials looking for steroid abuse. It gets worse when they shift at bat, and they can do it very quickly...a talent that few are born with, and others must train for, otherwise it is extremely dangerous. They can midform shift, or if their phenotype is large enough, completely shift, right after the pitcher throws the ball, and get hit by the pitch, then advance to first base.
Kobi ! They had to put a halt to the practice after Donald Trump Jr. shot two of the Houston Astros’ players. What was even stranger was that both players were in a human form. Plus, they had that Secret Service protection, so the players couldn’t defend themselves, unlike when the L.A. Dodgers were learning the ways of the wolf in Alaska. Sarah Palin really got a surprise when she tried shooting the wolves from a helicopter...then the wolves started shooting back.
Couldn't they just limit the shapeshifting events to a certain number per game? With so many restrictions they are taking away the fun from the sport...
I have no problem with animorphing as long as we keep it grounded in reality, but I worry about escalation. It's a matter of when, not if, till these players find a way to combine animal forms. Then we'll have hippogriffs in the outfield catching home runs that no standard eagle could ever hope to. Or sphinxs on second base asking near impossible riddles to runners in order for them to pass. And don't even get me started on the cultural appropriation implications on turning into a half dog/bat creature designed to suck goats and catch fly balls
I see your point but baseball needs a little more excitement than we are currently getting. Fans are getting bored of the classic animorphing. If things keep going the way it is the mlb will be in dire straits.
It gets worse when a dragon incinerates the ball after the outfielder lobs it back to the pitcher, and then he not only steals second base, he hoards it.
Here we go again, more scare stories from the anti-shifter lobby. As you well know there has never been proven examples of shifting in to hippogryffs or other cryptozoological entities. At least not on the field. This is just another gasp from the increasingly out of touch sports "fans" and their anthro-centric agenda. First it's "well we need to prevent dragons and suchlike" and before you know it.......there'll be 100% humans all match, every match. You mark my words.
@@ImADeity yeah yeah everyone complains about the periguin falcon but no one talks about the wind up time to get to those speeds. Fact if the matter is size always out proforms speed. Thats why your always more likely to see an eagle than any other bird of prey.
Baseball, like all other "professional" sports, is a spectator's game. I feel that seeing infielders shape-shift adds flair to what otherwise would be a pretty boring show. If anything, 'd say shapeshifting isn't enough. Maybe add some rocket launchers or tanks to the field. Give the fans the excitement they're paying good money for!
Hey, the evidence showed those were accidents from 2 outfielders going for the ball. And there was only one fatality, but that was because he had hemophilia.
Hey, if you enforce the rules as written you won't have a problem. If a canine assaults another player, you have to eject, of course, but as the Air Bud corollary definitively proves, there is no rule against canines in sports. Don't go hating on the lycanthropes just because their hair is perfect when they're in SoHo.
I’m sorry you had to live through it. It was so traumatizing that they invented a special kind of counciling not just for the people in the stadium but the millions who saw it on TV. I was lucky enough to avert my eyes from the TV in time when it was played but my dad wasn’t. He still has nightmares to this day. I also am afraid of the sound of twigs snapping, crushing things because while I averted my eyes I did hear the bones crushing and the awful screaming. My mom wasn’t home. So happy about that. Me and my dad still have to go to whale counciling to help with our ptsd.
Being able to transform into their mascot would be bad because that would put teams at an advantage just by their mascot. Teams might even be changing their mascot to get an advantage
This is stupid. If those sorts of people are in charge of sports, in 30 years we'll be watching people sitting on benches for two hours and call it benchball, and they'll still be saying it's too dangerous. 🙄
The rules and spirit of the game has always been with the idea of HUMAN player in mind. That means a 2-arm/2-leg MAXIMUM. No tails, no wings, absolutely NO TENTACLES. Ever since the Game 1 of the '54 WS when Mays SS'd into a kangaroo to catch Wertz' hit with his pouch, the game was corrupted forever.
I for one think they should allow shapeshifting for batters too, just giant fuggin gorillas launching baseballs, that's entertainment. Maybe even some sasquatches or werewolves.
Oh please. I say we should be even more lax. The rule of “no extinct creatures” is really dumb. They just don’t want baseball players drilling into bones to access the DNA inside, but you know what, that’s just part of the sport.
Please. Sports are about entertainment and seeing all the cool things the human body can do, like turning into elephant and trampling other human bodies. It's just not in the spirit of the game to ban something so integral to the way modern coaches build their teams.
okrajoe No?? It was discovered sometime in the early 2000s when a buncha teenagers revealed they had and used it to fight brain slugs. From there they sold the power to use it and it spread like wildfire.
@@zekeram129 I swear I remember watching the Yankees shapeshift back in the day, must've been a dream though cause I can't find any footage of it online
Shapeshifting is an integral part of baseball. Plus, most people can’t control when they shapeshift; it’s more of an impulsive reaction to danger, like jumping when you get scared.
@@imperator5228 No. Stop reading Reddit conspiracy theories. Alien space slugs that take over your brain aren't real. Seriously, the things you _humans_ come up with. 🙄 #Assimilate #MakeSaltIllegal
They banned shapeshifting in England after a soccer pro shapeshifted into a dragon and took out five complete teams worth more than 20 billion dollars.
This one time I was throwing the ball around with my son in the yard when all of a sudden I shapeshifted into an elephant and crushed him along with the ball signed by my local team’s alpaca. I sure miss my son, but damn was that autograph a rare one. Although this is a rare occurrence, it does happen and when it does it can leave families and autographed ball owners in shock. The MLB need to rule out any possibility of shape shifting in order to rule out even the smallest chance of this happening. Could you imagine the shock in the audience if a whole team was crushed under a blue whale like back in ‘87, of even worse, if the ball was destroyed rather than being violently tossed into the crowd in an attempt to injure the people in the front row as is tradition?
Look, it's one thing if kids get hurt and for that reason I understand why some little league teams ban the practice. But these are grown men! They know what they signed up for! Safety is boring. We might as well not even watch sports if people like you are going to be in charge of policy.
"But is turning your shortstop into an eagle so he can snatch balls out of midair in the spirit of the game what fans want to see?" Never in my life went to a baseball game but I would totally pay to watch these
Imagine the joke when we find out in 10 years that shapeshifters are real and are not hunted or socially outcasted, and are generally accepted into society. This is my timestamp in history - MisterCleanTM
Shapeshifting in Baseball is one thing, but when the most recent UFC flyweight bout turned into an Anaconda choking out a Polar Bear? I have enough of this on my family get togethers, don’t need to see it on tv as well!
This is ridiculous! Vampires have been allowed for decades to play baseball and they can turn into a whole swarm of bats. True, their powers are weaker during the daylight hours but they have the cap visor to protect the worst of it. And what about the hypnotism? No one ever complained about that!
Oh God, not this crap agin. They can't help having those powers, you know. Are you saying we should tell differently toothed kids (fixed that slur for you, by the way, what is it, 1950?) they can't follow their dreams because they aren't the same species are you? This is why I hate America sometimes. I bet Sweden doesn't have this problem.
YES! This IS what the fans want to see. Shapeshifting is a skill and it definitely belongs in the game. The ban should NOT be banned. #ShapeShiftsMatter
MrAndyisReal what about the necromancers, or the telepathicly inclined, or those with pyrokinesis, all of them were banned why should shapeshifters be any different
Kid Carhartt That’s because the CDC found that reanimated corpse players created a health hazard, telekinesis extends beyond physical constraints and can affect gameplay by interference allowing for “fixers,” and setting the bat, ball, bases, outfield, or players on fire violated several established rules of play.
The day they don’t allow shapeshifting in the MLB is the day a small part of our country dies. This is a human right here, like breathing or going to the bathroom
I know a lot of people lost interest in baseball when this started happening but honestly for me, it made me Love it more. I’ve even trained and hung out with a couple of the players and it’s so much fun. We’ll go out to get drinks and right as we walk in the bartender yells at me “ you can’t bring a bear in here!!” And I was like “what the fuhhh “ and as I turn around there’s a bear in a baseball uniform standing next to me haha one of the guys on the Yankees ( I’m not gonna repeat any names ) but he’s a huge jokester, theirs a hint lol . Me and him laughed so hard at that story omg it’s one of those you’d have to be their to get it . Honestly I’m not gonna lie before this happened to the game I was just a boring dude who watched baseball , since all of this started happening now I’m a fish inside of a bowl inside of a castle who loves watching baseball 🐠 🏰 ⚾️ ❤️😛
Technically, there's no rule against shape shifting in quidditch, but I don't do it because it just doesn't seem right. That, and if I switch from reindeer to otter in mid flight, I'll plummet to my gristly death.
Look, shapeshifters aren't the issue. It's _illegal_ shapeshifters, and we can blame the internet for that. Before the 90s, shapeshifters were an uncommon yet awesome wildcard. It was a natural skill. Sometimes it came from the blessing of Kar'ganeth, the Beast-of-Many-Pelts. Sometimes it came from being bitten by Darcula*, giving the ability to appear as either a swarm of bats or a lone wolf. But lately, we're seeing a lot more players with exotic animal skins hidden under their uniforms along with skinwalker amulets, and _yes_ I'm calling them skinwalkers. I don't care if the politically correct name is 'naagloshii.' If you're an ancient demon that takes the shape of man and animal alike, I'll call you a naagloshii. But if you're some rich asshole that paid (or had your manager pay) a poacher for a jaguar skin and a methed-out shaman for a talisman of flesh-warping, then you can just deal with being called a skinwalker. *I know autocorrect still says 'Dracula,' but Darcula himself has appeared in a swarm of bats before the Office of Word Spelling to explain that the first printing of Bram Stekor's** book had a persistent typo. **And, by coincidence, 'Bram Stoker' was a typo as well.
This is ridiculous! Players have been on-field shapeshifting since my grandfather's era so there's no reason to stop it now. Just remember to get your players spayed or neutered in the pre-season to cut down on some of their aggression.
I never get the baseball craze in America. They make a huge fuss about players doing shapeshifting while cricket in India casually allows their players to use pyrokinesis to subdue their opponents.
Tbf the amount of time taken to shape shift well enough to be a viable strategy at the professional level makes it fair. Non-shape shifters just need to adapt and maybe learn the tactic themselves
William Spence well, that, and they need a course of gene therapy, and it takes time to isolate the desired strands and make sure it integrates well into the carrier vector. Many of these players are volunteers for cancer research. Herpesviridae lyco with some gene tweaks has cured several types of soft tissue cancers.
Oh, come on, you know that's genetic. Yeah, I know, we're supposed to pretend anyone can do it with enough hard work, but have you ever actually met someone who can do it just like that? I can think of dozens of players who should be Hall of Famers right now, but they weren't because they couldn't turn into a cheetah in five seconds, and now the MLB's drafting people who can barely even play because they can turn into a cocker spaniel? It's destroying the game. It's baseball, not shapeshiftingball.
@@qoyote then get to work inventing the gene for turning into a base! Shapeshifting was here first, and I will not let our proud nation's history be neglected by desperate cries for justice!
Don't worry about infield shapeshifting, scoring is actually up in college baseball where coaches are willing to be more experimental, letting hitters and base runners transform too. This is all just coaches at the pro level being stupidly backwards and stubborn in their thought processes, not willing to adapt to the current game. Sure, transforming usually lets the pitcher get a free strike in before the process is completed, but a good base runner can become an elephant to get hit by the pitch, and a good home run hitter can transform in to a gorilla for extra power. You can also strategically counter the transformations of the defense with your own strategies, and I'll never tire of watching an eagle transformation try to run down a cheetah stealing a base. There's strategy here, and the game hasn't been figured out, give hitters time to adapt and this recent drop in scoring will reverse itself.
"Shapeshifters" is a word that was often used by cis-shifters to discriminate aginst them back in the early 2000's. The common and more appropriate term for it now is "transformers". Spread the knowledge 👍🏻
What's next getting rid of necromancy in hockey?
JJMUG already got rid of it in baseball so why not
Once it was clarified that anything wearing a uniform counted as a player it all seemed fair.
The only thing that keep me watching over these last two abyssal Sabres seasons was Nobrum The Corruptor. One of the best reamintors on skates.
Good idea.
Reminds me of the time they tried to remove vampires from football for having a unfair advantage that was as stupid as this is
RIP to the player who turned into a small bird and tried flying past the pitch.
That was tragic. The mental scarring of today's youth baseball players is horrific
Rip Peter the Pigeon.. Press F to pay respects
Lmao great comment
@@LiquidSoapDrinker F
Genius, my friend!
Man. Sometimes I wish the reality Onion made was the one I lived in.
What do you mean?
@@dozer3826 I mean, I wish stuff like this actually happened
Yea, it does. That's why there debating on the channel. Are you saying this isn't actually happening? Just go watch a game, it's kind of unfair.
@@dozer3826 Well played good sir
Lol wut. If it wasn't real, it wouldn't be on the news.
Well at least, MLB banned infielders from transforming into Blue Whales after the traumatic aftermath of 2015's World Series playoffs. I still hear the screams of pain and angoy that led to hours of theapry.
Or the T-rex incident of '09, I still have to see my therapist on a weekly basis
That's nothing compared to the great incident of '63. The megaladons. Oooohhhh the beasts, they destroyed it all...
"pain and angoy".
Ahh... Baseball.
typical crybabies, you lost, get over it! a few thousands get crushed and suddenly all whine, but when someone, from their team pulls an amazing catch in the shape of a orangutan and suddenly its perfectly legal, double standards much?
Let 'em shapeshift if they want to.
So you're one of those druid sympathizers huh?
Some people can't and they matter just as much, I miss when humans were humans!
We gotta be careful, though. It's only a matter of time before someone turns into a dragon and all of a sudden we're just watching dragon... ball...
Nevermind we need to push this hard.
Shape shifting into a bat can cause brain damage, it should be banned in the little league. Also New Jerseyans.
Get the Joke! I think we can all agree new jersyans should be banned I mean they're barely even human
Imagine what aliens would think when what remains they'd find of human civilization are Onion videos, like this one in particular.
they'd think we were shapeshifters who made really complicated character generation systems
150T 20W fan extractor i apologize for my assumption, i come from the mundanity realm, where everything is normal, no shapeshifting or cool character generation things (to an extent)
150T 20W fan extractor it is unbearable
If they saw every article and every video and every book ever put out by the Onion, they’d know more about modern history than anyone alive today.
They would leave bc they would think that we are crazy and have crazy ass powers
I only watch baseball for the shape shifting
Nascar has gear shifting but it just isnt the same
Oh, I don't know...when the gear changes into a snake that's pretty exciting.
roguishpaladin I thought that practice was banned after drivers started throwing snakes at other cars?
@@nadav2003 yeah nah the real reason it was banned was because Barry Benson's infamous bee exhaust which blinded and killed other drivers
Lmfao 😂😂😂
I wasn't ready for this comment 😃
Absolutely not! Infield shape-shifting is a skill/ability of the player! It's natural and has many strategic uses and no one should be able to ban that!
JakeLikesJoking exactly. It's up to teams themselves to hire players who will benefit their team best, get some specialists if you don't have enough! Don't punish the strong
It's like banning guys that have genetically better athletic ability. I can see banning some of the freaks that are turning into lizards and sperm whales, but it just gets ridiculous at some point! But when you see a Dodgers rookie morph into a giant hippopotamus and maul the other side, that's the television people want to see!
Jesus guys, honestly I think there should be rules, no great apes, no birds larger than a falcon, no hipoptomi, and no fucking cryptids, I don't care if Darnell Estavez saw a Sasquatch I don't think he should be allowed too use that form because it has too many advantages, and pulling it out in the final stretch when no one was expecting it, I wasn't ready too see an evolved austrilopithacene hit a home run, and he nearly crushed Chris Johnson like literally. There comes a point where it just needs too stop
There’s also the midform shift. When you see the shortstop turn into a wolfman instead of going all the way to wolf, that adds a lot of muscle mass and increases the reflex speed. That confuses the hell out of MLB officials looking for steroid abuse.
It gets worse when they shift at bat, and they can do it very quickly...a talent that few are born with, and others must train for, otherwise it is extremely dangerous. They can midform shift, or if their phenotype is large enough, completely shift, right after the pitcher throws the ball, and get hit by the pitch, then advance to first base.
Soccer players still have hands bruh
The only "mystery animals" that should be allowed in a baseball park are the ones in the hot-dogs.
😂😂😂
Das racist! Shapeshifter lives matter!
I though that was cat ??
nice
The commenters on Onion videos these days are funnier than the Onion’s writers.
"Going on safaris and touching animals to acquire their powers"
*LOL*
Kobi ! They had to put a halt to the practice after Donald Trump Jr. shot two of the Houston Astros’ players. What was even stranger was that both players were in a human form. Plus, they had that Secret Service protection, so the players couldn’t defend themselves, unlike when the L.A. Dodgers were learning the ways of the wolf in Alaska. Sarah Palin really got a surprise when she tried shooting the wolves from a helicopter...then the wolves started shooting back.
Animorphs anyone.
is there any other way
GONNA GO WILD WILD KRATTS GONNA GO WILD WILD!
The Onion writers read the Animorphs as children
Couldn't they just limit the shapeshifting events to a certain number per game? With so many restrictions they are taking away the fun from the sport...
Yeah, just give them two wild shapes a day
@@pohatunuva3771 Or at least per short rest- **ahem** I mean per inning.
@@leyrua ah man some people’s wild shapes aren’t controlled
If teams can only turn into their mascots, the Marlins are gonna have a rough season.
Danielle: The Miami Dolphins once played against the bengals. Now, it the game was held in a pool, that might be fair. But on land? I don't think so.
Daniel Solis It would pretty much be them commiting mash sucide.
Opinunate ted Yeah but those are football teams, so the rules differ for the most part.
Do the Mariners have to play in the sea? At least they'll have the wave going. *weak-ass rimshot*
Magicarp, Majicarp...
I have no problem with animorphing as long as we keep it grounded in reality, but I worry about escalation. It's a matter of when, not if, till these players find a way to combine animal forms. Then we'll have hippogriffs in the outfield catching home runs that no standard eagle could ever hope to. Or sphinxs on second base asking near impossible riddles to runners in order for them to pass. And don't even get me started on the cultural appropriation implications on turning into a half dog/bat creature designed to suck goats and catch fly balls
John Doe perfect just perfect
I see your point but baseball needs a little more excitement than we are currently getting. Fans are getting bored of the classic animorphing. If things keep going the way it is the mlb will be in dire straits.
It gets worse when a dragon incinerates the ball after the outfielder lobs it back to the pitcher, and then he not only steals second base, he hoards it.
I'm with you buddy. Pretty soon the whole thing will just be about bat dogs.
Here we go again, more scare stories from the anti-shifter lobby.
As you well know there has never been proven examples of shifting in to hippogryffs or other cryptozoological entities.
At least not on the field.
This is just another gasp from the increasingly out of touch sports "fans" and their anthro-centric agenda.
First it's "well we need to prevent dragons and suchlike" and before you know it.......there'll be 100% humans all match, every match.
You mark my words.
I remember when I played outfield the Eagle was my go to.
Edit: as soon as I typed this he mentioned a shortstop turning into an eagle.
Lol
Well, eagles are a bit unconventional for shortstop which makes me wonder if he truly knows what he's criticizing.
If you really wanna get those sidewinders you gotta go for a Goshawk
@@dakotadawn5789 how about something faster
@@ImADeity yeah yeah everyone complains about the periguin falcon but no one talks about the wind up time to get to those speeds. Fact if the matter is size always out proforms speed. Thats why your always more likely to see an eagle than any other bird of prey.
Baseball, like all other "professional" sports, is a spectator's game. I feel that seeing infielders shape-shift adds flair to what otherwise would be a pretty boring show. If anything, 'd say shapeshifting isn't enough. Maybe add some rocket launchers or tanks to the field. Give the fans the excitement they're paying good money for!
Knux Kitsune "in recent news the mlb has added battle royal to its games"
Whoa, slow down there...weapons? What do you think this is, hockey?
Yeah. Add in a couple Fighter Jets and Bowing 747s
Dude I just saw your bear pfp turn into a fox wtf
And mines
this aged like milk. everyone knows shapeshifting was banned a few months after this video came out
Exactly! There has been so many tragic losses because someone transformed into a wolf and bit out their jugular.
Charlie Haisman don't hate on lycanthropy
Hey, the evidence showed those were accidents from 2 outfielders going for the ball. And there was only one fatality, but that was because he had hemophilia.
Hey, if you enforce the rules as written you won't have a problem. If a canine assaults another player, you have to eject, of course, but as the Air Bud corollary definitively proves, there is no rule against canines in sports. Don't go hating on the lycanthropes just because their hair is perfect when they're in SoHo.
roguishpaladin Is that why the concession stands started selling Piña Coladas?
@@Chunkboi It was "just to be safe", the concessions staff said.
The trauma of the 1978 incident....ooh it still gives me chills. That whale....that humpback whale..
What???
I’m sorry you had to live through it. It was so traumatizing that they invented a special kind of counciling not just for the people in the stadium but the millions who saw it on TV.
I was lucky enough to avert my eyes from the TV in time when it was played but my dad wasn’t. He still has nightmares to this day.
I also am afraid of the sound of twigs snapping, crushing things because while I averted my eyes I did hear the bones crushing and the awful screaming.
My mom wasn’t home. So happy about that. Me and my dad still have to go to whale counciling to help with our ptsd.
Actually it was a blue whale
@@uwu8725 No one will ever know exactly what that bowl of petunias was thinking.
Maybe just restrict the number of shapeshifts per game. Or what animals can be legally shapeshifted during plays.
The Blue Whale was banned back in 98'. They should ban all animals above a certain weight. Because then you get elephants tromping around the field.
@MysticAnimal Goddess I think the worst incident was back in 1969, when one of the players turned into a kraken.
Being able to transform into their mascot would be bad because that would put teams at an advantage just by their mascot. Teams might even be changing their mascot to get an advantage
Blue whale all the way!
Your team mascot could be a shapeshifter and nothing would change
Team Griffin
New MLB rule: A 10-year waiting period for changing mascots for this purpose.
Ahem... looking at you there, Washington Greek Gods.
I read in the papers that the NFL is trying to make fire bending before halftime a penalty offense
julius ochoa Just ridiculous.
This is stupid. If those sorts of people are in charge of sports, in 30 years we'll be watching people sitting on benches for two hours and call it benchball, and they'll still be saying it's too dangerous. 🙄
@@DarkShadows713 I know right? It's total BS. I mean, the doctors say that guy should regain sight in at least ONE of his eyes eventually.
my druid feels attacked
#NoWildShape
#DruidGoBackToBritain
Better roll initiative!
Well, that's what you get for passing through a threatened square without stopping.
Druid baseball could be an amazing video game
My god the delivery is absolutely perfect.
Vintage Animorphs reference.
D Lovelle going to the safari to aquire new animal DNA!
The rules and spirit of the game has always been with the idea of HUMAN player in mind. That means a 2-arm/2-leg MAXIMUM. No tails, no wings, absolutely NO TENTACLES.
Ever since the Game 1 of the '54 WS when Mays SS'd into a kangaroo to catch Wertz' hit with his pouch, the game was corrupted forever.
Wait..."his" pouch? O.o
roguishpaladin it was a rare condition in the theriotype.
no tentacles? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It wasn't in '54. It was some time after those kids revealed they gained SSing powers to fight brain slugs.
You just can't accept change
Finally, a sport ball debate I can really engage with!
E
I for one think they should allow shapeshifting for batters too, just giant fuggin gorillas launching baseballs, that's entertainment. Maybe even some sasquatches or werewolves.
I just taught my son how to shape shift for baseball! You can’t stop the good old tradition of Baseball shape shifting!
I don't care what you say, every time I see my son turn into a grizzly bear in his little league games I feel happy again
NO shapeshifting. Performance enhancements should be limited to traditional STERIOD use.
Oh please. I say we should be even more lax. The rule of “no extinct creatures” is really dumb. They just don’t want baseball players drilling into bones to access the DNA inside, but you know what, that’s just part of the sport.
Please. Sports are about entertainment and seeing all the cool things the human body can do, like turning into elephant and trampling other human bodies. It's just not in the spirit of the game to ban something so integral to the way modern coaches build their teams.
@STM oh and you just don’t want to bring dinosaurs back? What are you, scared of progress?
I want to live in a world where the onion makes sense.
They already took away weather divination from tennis, this is unconstitutional
No, shapeshifting has always been part of the game -- fans are just mad at analytics... Yankees used to shapeshift into eagles back in the 1920s.
okrajoe No?? It was discovered sometime in the early 2000s when a buncha teenagers revealed they had and used it to fight brain slugs.
From there they sold the power to use it and it spread like wildfire.
@@zekeram129 I swear I remember watching the Yankees shapeshift back in the day, must've been a dream though cause I can't find any footage of it online
I’m pleased to announce that after a full season of shapeshifting being banned hitters numbers are on the rise once more.
This needs to be banned, but the designated hitter rule sticks?
Madness!
I love how he looks at 6 different points around the room but never directly at the camera lol
Shape shifters did nothing wrong
David Thomas tell me that when you're kid gets literally crushed by a prodigy that can shift into a rhino during his little league game
GRIFFIIIITH!
No, your right. It was the evil slugs controlling them that did. Those darn Yeerks! Visser Three shall pay for this.
It's OK to be a shapeshifter.
Furries that play baseball: *heavy breathing*
It's just a strategy. Some people just get jealous of the ability.
Shapeshifting is an integral part of baseball. Plus, most people can’t control when they shapeshift; it’s more of an impulsive reaction to danger, like jumping when you get scared.
im just impressed that he got through the whole script without laughing
Welcome to The Onion
Can we all agree this is a damn good comments section?
"Alright my sweaty friends" good start.
You know I was thinking about it, they should just have a fully shapeshifted season and a no shapeshifting season
Why is nobody talking those chess players that were accused of invoking the forbidden knowledge through an ancient eldrich god to win matches?
I love how he is mildly concerned about shapeshifting affecting the sport, but still for it, while he wants to entirely get rid of off-seasons lol
This could maybe have inspired a part of Brand New Animal
eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Shapeshifting takes skill! This is like banning breaking a bat over the opposite team's coach!
So this is what the future of sports looks like in the world of Animorphs
Someone needs to make this into a book
*opens blank notebook and writes the word “this”*
I have made this into a book
I blame the Andalites.
RoadCrewWorker Right when he said going to the safari to aquire new animal DNA!
Same! So, think the Yeerks are in hockey?
Yeah, and their whole “two hour limit” thing...I’m close to cracking it, but the Escafil device API has lousy documentation.
@@imperator5228 No. Stop reading Reddit conspiracy theories. Alien space slugs that take over your brain aren't real. Seriously, the things you _humans_ come up with. 🙄
#Assimilate #MakeSaltIllegal
Yes! You know how annoying it is when you hit a home run but George springer shapeshifts into a bird catching it!
pepeJAM
Here after the MLB banned shapeshifting...I mean the shift
They banned shapeshifting in England after a soccer pro shapeshifted into a dragon and took out five complete teams worth more than 20 billion dollars.
This one time I was throwing the ball around with my son in the yard when all of a sudden I shapeshifted into an elephant and crushed him along with the ball signed by my local team’s alpaca. I sure miss my son, but damn was that autograph a rare one.
Although this is a rare occurrence, it does happen and when it does it can leave families and autographed ball owners in shock. The MLB need to rule out any possibility of shape shifting in order to rule out even the smallest chance of this happening.
Could you imagine the shock in the audience if a whole team was crushed under a blue whale like back in ‘87, of even worse, if the ball was destroyed rather than being violently tossed into the crowd in an attempt to injure the people in the front row as is tradition?
Look, it's one thing if kids get hurt and for that reason I understand why some little league teams ban the practice. But these are grown men! They know what they signed up for! Safety is boring. We might as well not even watch sports if people like you are going to be in charge of policy.
@@DarkShadows713 but the balls aren't sentient beings, so they can't consent to this treatment!
Baseball furries
WolfSword87 Gross
Get out you beastiality supporter
Dont let people get you down they are too dumb to look past the stereotypes
TheTacogammer500 I can't tell if you actually think furries think they are animals. Furries don't think they are actually animals.
jerred davids don’t think I’m gonna trust the judgement of someone named “TheTacogamer500”
If baseball players actually shapeshifted, then I would definitely watch baseball matches more.
"But is turning your shortstop into an eagle so he can snatch balls out of midair in the spirit of the game what fans want to see?"
Never in my life went to a baseball game but I would totally pay to watch these
Imagine the joke when we find out in 10 years that shapeshifters are real and are not hunted or socially outcasted, and are generally accepted into society. This is my timestamp in history - MisterCleanTM
Then people watching this video would be confused by the second part being a joke
Shapeshifting in Baseball is one thing, but when the most recent UFC flyweight bout turned into an Anaconda choking out a Polar Bear? I have enough of this on my family get togethers, don’t need to see it on tv as well!
But at the same time, it adds that level of excitement
The whole first part of this sounds like a report from an alternate reality I would very much prefer to live in.
Imagine rounding second and running into a fucking bear
I actually think this might be a cool game idea, transforming into animals and capturing new transformations in the wild like Pokémon
Zoos seem to kinda defeat the point of that.
This is ridiculous! Vampires have been allowed for decades to play baseball and they can turn into a whole swarm of bats. True, their powers are weaker during the daylight hours but they have the cap visor to protect the worst of it.
And what about the hypnotism? No one ever complained about that!
cBe9999 - I don't remember any hypnotism.
Oh, wait
Well they all manage now
cBe9999 I did. I remember these vampires trying, and they just gave me a headache.
No one ever complained about that.
Oh God, not this crap agin. They can't help having those powers, you know. Are you saying we should tell differently toothed kids (fixed that slur for you, by the way, what is it, 1950?) they can't follow their dreams because they aren't the same species are you? This is why I hate America sometimes. I bet Sweden doesn't have this problem.
The infield shapeshift is an integral part of the game! Can’t take it away from us
You know the furry community will definitely take this to court.
*sees thumbnail*
...hmm.
*reads title*
…hmm?
*reads channel name*
…oh.
*clicks*
they absolutely shouldn't, it's the only reason I've ever considered going to a Baseball game
I've heard of a plan to only allow a player to shapeshift once per inning. I'm a huge fan of it, because it's both simple and fair.
YES! This IS what the fans want to see. Shapeshifting is a skill and it definitely belongs in the game. The ban should NOT be banned.
#ShapeShiftsMatter
MrAndyisReal what about the necromancers, or the telepathicly inclined, or those with pyrokinesis, all of them were banned why should shapeshifters be any different
Kid Carhartt That’s because the CDC found that reanimated corpse players created a health hazard, telekinesis extends beyond physical constraints and can affect gameplay by interference allowing for “fixers,” and setting the bat, ball, bases, outfield, or players on fire violated several established rules of play.
The day they don’t allow shapeshifting in the MLB is the day a small part of our country dies. This is a human right here, like breathing or going to the bathroom
They should try and limit it, but banning it is too far.
I know a lot of people lost interest in baseball when this started happening but honestly for me, it made me Love it more. I’ve even trained and hung out with a couple of the players and it’s so much fun. We’ll go out to get drinks and right as we walk in the bartender yells at me “ you can’t bring a bear in here!!” And I was like “what the fuhhh “ and as I turn around there’s a bear in a baseball uniform standing next to me haha one of the guys on the Yankees ( I’m not gonna repeat any names ) but he’s a huge jokester, theirs a hint lol . Me and him laughed so hard at that story omg it’s one of those you’d have to be their to get it . Honestly I’m not gonna lie before this happened to the game I was just a boring dude who watched baseball , since all of this started happening now I’m a fish inside of a bowl inside of a castle who loves watching baseball 🐠 🏰 ⚾️ ❤️😛
Shape-shifting shouldn't be banned. It's the most entertaining and it challenges the players.
Technically, there's no rule against shape shifting in quidditch, but I don't do it because it just doesn't seem right. That, and if I switch from reindeer to otter in mid flight, I'll plummet to my gristly death.
At least you're not that poor fool who turned himself into a mosquito. We never even found the body.
Look, shapeshifters aren't the issue. It's _illegal_ shapeshifters, and we can blame the internet for that. Before the 90s, shapeshifters were an uncommon yet awesome wildcard. It was a natural skill. Sometimes it came from the blessing of Kar'ganeth, the Beast-of-Many-Pelts. Sometimes it came from being bitten by Darcula*, giving the ability to appear as either a swarm of bats or a lone wolf. But lately, we're seeing a lot more players with exotic animal skins hidden under their uniforms along with skinwalker amulets, and _yes_ I'm calling them skinwalkers. I don't care if the politically correct name is 'naagloshii.' If you're an ancient demon that takes the shape of man and animal alike, I'll call you a naagloshii. But if you're some rich asshole that paid (or had your manager pay) a poacher for a jaguar skin and a methed-out shaman for a talisman of flesh-warping, then you can just deal with being called a skinwalker.
*I know autocorrect still says 'Dracula,' but Darcula himself has appeared in a swarm of bats before the Office of Word Spelling to explain that the first printing of Bram Stekor's** book had a persistent typo.
**And, by coincidence, 'Bram Stoker' was a typo as well.
Okay, you win this comments section.
Ah, so this is a post-canon Animorphs world.
Come on , my Daddy and his daddy's daddy been shapeshifting ever since, don't fix something that's not broken! #NOTMYBASEBALL
So your grandfather didn't play then?
in my opinion if they’re gonna ban any shapeshifts, it should be the birds. some of these homerun robberies are getting absolutely ridiculous.
I think it's about time to fully reinstate spellcasting.
Cheefoo finally someone fucking said it
I think there should be 3 leagues, no shape-shifting league, all shape shifting league, and a mixed league
Just bunt the damn ball!
You can't hit a homer if there is an eagle in center
When a muggle stumbles upon a wizard talk show
read another book, dumbass
This is ridiculous! Players have been on-field shapeshifting since my grandfather's era so there's no reason to stop it now. Just remember to get your players spayed or neutered in the pre-season to cut down on some of their aggression.
DMs trying to figure out rules for wild shape.
really gotta get this rule in blaseball
Oh, so that's how the Cubs won 2016 WS. All the infielders turned into Bear Cubs.
I never get the baseball craze in America. They make a huge fuss about players doing shapeshifting while cricket in India casually allows their players to use pyrokinesis to subdue their opponents.
"but, is THIS what fans want to see?"
Yes, yes it is!😂😂😂
Tbf the amount of time taken to shape shift well enough to be a viable strategy at the professional level makes it fair. Non-shape shifters just need to adapt and maybe learn the tactic themselves
William Spence well, that, and they need a course of gene therapy, and it takes time to isolate the desired strands and make sure it integrates well into the carrier vector. Many of these players are volunteers for cancer research. Herpesviridae lyco with some gene tweaks has cured several types of soft tissue cancers.
Oh, come on, you know that's genetic. Yeah, I know, we're supposed to pretend anyone can do it with enough hard work, but have you ever actually met someone who can do it just like that? I can think of dozens of players who should be Hall of Famers right now, but they weren't because they couldn't turn into a cheetah in five seconds, and now the MLB's drafting people who can barely even play because they can turn into a cocker spaniel? It's destroying the game.
It's baseball, not shapeshiftingball.
@@qoyote then get to work inventing the gene for turning into a base! Shapeshifting was here first, and I will not let our proud nation's history be neglected by desperate cries for justice!
Don't worry about infield shapeshifting, scoring is actually up in college baseball where coaches are willing to be more experimental, letting hitters and base runners transform too. This is all just coaches at the pro level being stupidly backwards and stubborn in their thought processes, not willing to adapt to the current game. Sure, transforming usually lets the pitcher get a free strike in before the process is completed, but a good base runner can become an elephant to get hit by the pitch, and a good home run hitter can transform in to a gorilla for extra power. You can also strategically counter the transformations of the defense with your own strategies, and I'll never tire of watching an eagle transformation try to run down a cheetah stealing a base. There's strategy here, and the game hasn't been figured out, give hitters time to adapt and this recent drop in scoring will reverse itself.
I can’t believe this
Mark Z U C C nice to meet you can't believe this I'm Ben
Wait no
Yeah, the robot is going to tell me I can't turn into a cheetah...
That is seriously the only reason why I watch Major League Baseball! You take that away and I've got nothing left. Damn it!
The skinwalkers might find this offencive...
I mean that’s kind of unfair to the non-shapesisters.
Chaos Commando seriously, they are MLB players. They can afford to get gene therapy.
#NoWildShape #KeepDruidsOutOfBaseball
#IfYouShapeshiftIGetToPolymorphYouIntoAnEarthworm
#LetTheDruidsPlayBaseball
#TheirBodyTheirChoice
Part 1 of getting recomended 2 years later begins
"Shapeshifters" is a word that was often used by cis-shifters to discriminate aginst them back in the early 2000's. The common and more appropriate term for it now is "transformers". Spread the knowledge 👍🏻
Yeech, shapies, transformers, what's the difference? People are too sensitive these days. Bear up!
Hey, that's cultural appropriation unless you're from Cybertron!
More than meets the eye!
Just imagine how much fun it must be to be on The Onion's photoshop team.