Can be in both sex.... Husband being Toxic..... every body will come to know.....but wife being Toxic nobody knows..... Husband no usually suffers in Silence for the sake of Children or Relationship becoz usually when they diagnose Wife being Toxic....by the age of 40 or 40 plus.....where they won't usually get new relationship/marriage(at this age)
My parents always told me from childhood that betting and gambling is a bad thing. But, now as a married man I feel it is better than the Gamble of MARRIAGE. I suggest young boys to be away from marriage. Take care of your old parents. Take your parents for a vacation and Llive a Happy SINGLE life.
She made you hate your life... gain control over yourself and start doing things you like, like the things you did when single, you will start feeling good again...
Ya men are controlling ??? Never ever . She says why don't you ever want to do anything. I say in my mind " cause I'll make a wrong turn on the way and get into a huge fight then she well yell in public . Oh it's F bad I'm absolutely broken
I am a lady I have realized I am being toxic to my husband .the fear of losing him and about future ,kids makes me do somehow this behavior.i have never realized I am effecting my husbands mental health I am going to work on myself now thanks for the information 🙏
I absolutely don't trust my wife. She hasnt ruined me and my life though, I have allowed her to do so. I wish i could go back in time and never have met her.
Well, on the other hand, we cannot be a control freak either and if you don't control some things, it will go out of hand and she will cross boundaries
Yes, my wife is toxic. My wife is highly manipulative, demanding, threating (often with divorce), explosive anger, name calling, condescending, silent treatment. She is ALWAYS right, never interested in any other point of view to name a few. My wife controls ALL the money and I'm given an allowance. I'm always questioned what I spend my allowance on, but she Never tells me what she spends money on. Yes, my wife is toxic.
Your wife have Narcissist personality disorder. Please check with consultant psychologist and also you will get good information from google and youtube.
See i control the money but he made his own bed when we almost lost everything because he blew his money on bad things. I cant trust him with money now so i told him the choice was his. Let me control the money until i can trust him raising his allowance as i see improvement or i leave. And he agreed to give me the money. I hate it. I feel controling i hate it but like god dammit i do not wanna move into a box with my kids cuz i always try to trust him. So far this video is teaching me im not toxic. Maybe some ways but thank goodness. Im not as bad as my spouse makes me feel :( im in a very toxic relationship with him. I just wanna be happy. He says he doesnt think ill be happy with anyone. Idk maybe. Maybe i should he alone for a while
It’s only too late if your a ball less wuss. Kids are no excuse to stay married to some snatch. It’s actually worse. As much as you try to hide it they see what’s going on and will grow up seeing this as normal in thier relationships . Not to mention they grow up knowing they have a whipped pussy for a father. Show them it’s not ok to be treated poorly.
I realise that in the last 31 years of marriage everything you mentioned is true about my wife. Surprisingly I also recognise my own toxic behaviour after reflecting on these last 30 years. It's not all black and white. I apologised to my wife three years ago and decided to do what I can to remove toxicity from our relationship. On my suggestion we started couples counseling and with good results and so I thought. Gaslighting control and financial control all is true. I love her very much but apparently she doesn't have any feelings for me. So we are living separate lives in different countries. I wish her well. We are not officially divorced but there's no more toxicity due to our distance and my commitment to give her the space she needs.
Just be selfish about your health and well-being and focus on yourself, come what may. I did that but after 11 yrs of torture and am finally happy and free. I had to take a decision and I did before it was too late as it affected my health so much.
13 years & 2 kids. Your video is almost like my life's story. I am living with someone who is ever critical of everything I do. She wouldn't take responsibility or ownership of anything but criticize every decision I take. She'll go out of her way to make me suffer if I am even speaking to my parents or sister. She's the reason I spend every single day for the past many years under stress. I've gained weight & do not feel like moving out for a walk even though I like to play badminton and tennis. I want to work on my career for achieving better prospects but her behaviour creates conditions in my house that I always feel mentally tired and exhausted.
Quit feeling sorry yourself. Get off your ass and do something. Start by walking every day, eating less and getting to bed early. Exercise, 100 push-ups and 100 body weight squats a day. And stop overeating. This is all much easier to do than making your wife happy. And the results will change your life for the better.
Take control of your life. Join a gym. Lose weight that you have gained. Do something for yourself and stop feeling sorry. She won't like it and will try to make your life miserable. Don't retaliate or be cruel. Just do your own thing and improve physical well-being which will give you a positive outlook out of her domain and control.
1. Self Doubt 2. Controlling Behaviour 3. Will make you feel isolated 4. She is Always Right, you are always Wrong 5. Gas Lighting 6. Financial Control 7. She has Zero Concern for you 8. She won't give you nay personal space 9. She does NOT support you
@@bobdobalina8910 this is something all young men need to learn in school because you’re not prepared for it. You fall in love then bam she hit you with shit like this. Then it’s either put up with it or let her have half of everything.
My wife is also super toxic. She never supports me in my decisions and is always critical of what i do. she always demean me in front of my neighbours and family members. it is so painful for the last 25 years. even on a spiritual visit ,she does not miss to fight on very petty issues. she always complains about everything and have a negative view of everything. Anyways, i spend a lot on her and never say 'No' to any of her demands. at times,she is so much abusive with me and calls names to my parents. She does have all the characteristics of a toxic spouse. for the last 3 days, i m damn seriously thinking about moving to other city and live alone.
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. Before you move, we have a video with some tips on how you can deal with a toxic wife: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html - it might help you!
This is so true!!!! Also, there is no solution to such a situation. Work on yourself, gather strength and wisdom, focus on self and make yourself a priority. When you have good people around you, you will no longer need or need to tolerate toxic ones!!!!
My wife has all the characteristics mentioned. We've been through months of counseling, with different counsellors resulting in my wife being told she is the problem and her breaking down in tears with remorse, then going back to square one the very next day denying the outcome. Tried every approach, to no avail.
As is mentioned in this video, toxic people never take responsibility for their behavior because they know very well within themselves that they are wrong. They are highly selfish and don't care exploiting others. It is an illusion to expect that any counselling and therapy will change such people because they do all their bad deeds with full awareness.
I have watched this video and have decided that there are enough difference that, while our relationship is very difficult, it could NOT be considered toxic. This gives me hope. Thank you.
Glad to hear it. Mine was toxic. You absolutely have hope. Many churches have marriage conferences in Feb so I would check that out. Get in some couples counseling so you can both learn to communicate when something bothers you and what you need (and how to give each other what you both need-it can be harder than it seems at first.)
Give her time and she will become much worse. Look at the red flags and decide what you want. I decided to stay for my children and she is killing me slowly
@@davidm4566 I'm *very* skeptical that churches or couples counseling can help a man in this situation, because all these institutions are thoroughly biased in favor of women. The focus always seems to be on comforting / reassuring the woman that she is doing nothing wrong, and chastising the man to guilt-trip him into total meekness / submission to her. I believe this problem is *much more serious* than anyone is letting on, and it's all because the victims (in most cases) are men and the perpetrators are women. In general, we (men) are on our own, no one gives a damn about our feelings, it's all about "what's good for women, what do women want?" The very fact that more and more Y/T videos are coming out on this topic is proof (IMO) that this crisis *cannot*, any longer, be swept under the rug or wished away. Western society is on the brink of total collapse because of feminism and Marxism.
@@BlueFish-kq9fh There are good ones out there. I was getting counseling with my wife until she shut down because me and the therapist were "ganging up on her". No, he called me out on what I was doing wrong and the same for her, she just couldn't handle it because of her narcissism. Anyway, it just shows that there are good ones out there.
I was isolated from my friends and family and ripped to shreds by her I'm out of it and healing thanks to friends family and channels like yours thank you❤
Right. Indian males are thoroughly groomed entire life to feel that their duty is to please and care everybody and everything around. They don't know how to take care of themselves. It is difficult to learn later, but it is really good to learn. It can make you come out of quicksand.
At present we did not expect anything from our wife's, not even love, not even respect, not even peace in life. But we are also not expecting disrespect and every time controlling our emotions.
I had toxic relationship. I walked away from my wife. Everything you listed in video is right. She tried to intimidate me . She always abuse me and my parents. She never allowed me to talk to other relatives. She was evil. Just because of my baby boy i was bearing this torture . Later on i realised that i deserve a better life . I simply walked away from her and decided to never go back.
I know she will never change...after walked away from her...after a month ...i got legal notice with all false allegation ..i filed directly for divorce in a court but now i am thinking about my baby boy...what will be his future without father..her people coming to me for asking my forgivenes and settling up this matter out of court... I m also thinking to give her one last chance...just due to my son....
@@sameermujawar1790 wow thats great that you have thought of giving a last chance, thats your greatness but has she ever approached you directly seeking for a last chance? matter is that if not she has that ego. People coming to you on behalf of her ...requesting or appealing...i am a kind skeptical..Anyways giving her a chance a good move though😅.
She regretted losing me...She came with her people along with my son .... She hugged me and asked for my forgiveness ....I also ask her forgiveness...Matter settled down...l love has been restored again...Let's hope for the beautiful life.....
@@sameermujawar1790 Thats amazing and so sweet...Atleast you both have regretted and asked for forgiveness....thats what is needed...Go ahead and Start a beautiful life..God bless your family...
My wife doesn’t work, doesn’t try to work and if she had a job, found excuses to leave it and dump her crap on me. She spends our paycheck as soon as it hits the bank. She demands I do everything for her. I work 60 hours a week, take care of our child and do nearly all the household chores because she is an excuse within an excuse. She demands I do things for her and expects me to do it without saying anything. I’m constantly picked apart for anything I do, I can’t do anything for myself because it’s wrong to her. If I stand up to her, she turns up the threats and mental and verbal abuse. It’s insane and I know I need to shut her down. I just don’t know what to do in fear of losing everything.
No matter what you lose but you should consider ending this relationship. Things will only become worse with age. Your peacefulness is the most important thing in life.
Don’t kid yourself losing everything is a very strong possibility in a divorce and worse the older you get but hey if you wind up homeless and broke at least you’ll have peace ! Nah no way protect yourself and the life you’ve worked hard to build ..think outside the box
We are on the same situation. My wife and I are in this situation as you describe. She thinks I'm toxic and I think she's toxic, it's never-ending yelling so in the end I shut my mouth and stop engaging with her every time we are in a heated argument. But then I started getting fed up with this situation. We have 2 kids and she does not work which is no issue for me but I was expecting she would help me keep the house clean, cause at the end I'm tired at work then I have to keep the house clean also and even do the dishes and clothes. My main complaint to her she's not contributing at home even with house chores. The house is messed up, and she'll do house chores every time she felt like doing it. My main concern is the kitchen, she rarely cooks, and if she cooks the oven, microwave, and stove are left messy. This messy kitchen is affecting me since I don't want insects especially cockroaches will start to creep out of our home. If I raise this concern with her and remind her every time she leaves the kitchen messy she talks back to me that I'm a nagging husband, toxic husband, and compares me to my father (who is never been a good father or husband). I'm lost on this, it's very difficult to talk to this person especially since I already tried this. I want to talk this out to my relatives cause I really felt there is a need of intervention..
Today's mainstream media ( drama series and movies) and paid social media with an agenda have caused this that women are fed so much lies as all men and in laws are misogynist and cruel etc. With negative thoughts in their subconscious when they get married even the good mens become evil. In your case your wife is also a lazy person and today's women try to fight back as are thought in the same media different techniques. That's why divorce rate has skyrocketed in most countries in past few decades. U should search for how to deal with narcissistic spouse and settle this early and if no improvement just leave the relationship.
Leave now ... separate ... then file for divorce. Life is too short for an unappreciated wife!! It's only going to get worse & her more needy in the years to come. Serenity & Peace before you're stuck for the rest of your days on earth.
I have been trapped by a toxic woman for years, and this all resonates to what you have said in the video. She used me as a bait to get out of her parents' home and from her previous marriages. I ended up in a ditch as a slave to her, because i felt pity for her, as she threatened to take sleeping pills. She has been a user, abuser, and a financial paradite to my life. She stole allof money, destroyed my credit, hid my mail, and when i realized, what was happening, she accused me of wrongdoing and made my life miserable. And the rest is toxic history.
Help me, my wife is like this, I'm so afraid of her that I just sit at home and don't go out or see my family because I don't want her to get in bad mood and get angry with me, I just feel like I'm always walking on thin ice
Remember to be a MAN don't be wimpy or timid . I loss it on my wife when i have had enough of her controlling bs . I MEAN loss it nothing volant but very clear that you better shut up or im going start smashing the house up . Japanese woman are so good to there men they don't even know how to yell . Very calm and i can asure you all the men here hate YELLING from our bitch wife . We need to bring Japanese woman here .
Just do what you want and ignore her. BTW, record her whenever there is an argument. Do not get get angry at all, be fully in control all the time. Unless she accepts your masculinity, divorce her. Keep all the recording since you will need those to prove how bad her behaviour was all the time. She will try to put false 498A but these recordings will prove she is lying. Become free once and for all since people never change, they just become worse over time.
THere is no solution for living with a toxic spouse. Divorce is the only answer. You can worry about all the healing - of yourself - after. As for the (ex) spouse... to hell with them!
Thank you for the video. I understood where I Stand. Can you also make a video on the next steps to be taken so that we can come out and maintain our well-being?
If i show this to my wife, i do not think she will accept it and will try to find reasons to justify her behavior. I have never seen a video i can relate to in this regard. Thank you very much.
I'm glad you found this video helpful. We have some advice on dealing with it here: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html Hopefully that will help you :) Please take care of yourself
My ex wife had multiple narcissist's behaviours but luckily I was aware what she was doing. Even then it was not easy. For that reason it is so much easier now to heal once I understood breaking up was the best decision ever! Happily we have no mortgage and no kids. Guys! Please run for your own life NOW!
See that's the problem who ever came up with the term Happy wife Happy life is got to be the worst and shameful thing to say. Let me put it right Happy spouse Happy house this includes both and not just one gender so I hope that that phase Happy wife Happy house will just disappear cause it's not a true saying in most cases
My Wife of 34 years complains about anything and everything that I do. NOTHING I do, is done to Her approval. Her opinion always overrules mine, she will argue with me over most things. My Wife also has taken control of most, not all of our financial decisions. My Wife rarely, if ever supports me in my successes in life or in my hobbies. I used to be very friendly and outgoing, but now I find my disposition is more dark and negative and often times confrontational, even with some friends. It has most certainly changed me, and if I could do things over again...I might not have married her.
I think you should see first how you are behaving with her, are you supporting her emotionally? Are you supporting her financially? Are you supporting her passion? Are you having intimate relationship with her?
I am proud of my wife. She trusts me with almost everything including, money, emails, and any difficulties/challenges she faces in life despite me encouraging her to be more independent and have greater confidence. I love you .....
In my life , to be honest, there are 50% of the signs strongly present, but 50% not. And it is episodes of extreme toxicity. Also the life partner is normal after all such instances and I am left completely wrecked up and to deal with the after effects completely on my own. The question of separation is impossible because of the children and because of my life life partner financially dependent on me. I find myself completely helpless.
I thought toxic wives are rare until i watched this video..when a wife tries to prove you are wrong and name call your parents …belittle anything that you do for her..doubt anyone that you know or talk to …ask to eat foods that make you sick saying that it is all in your head….keep brining things from the past to tell you how much you dont care for her…pull any excuse in the book that she is quite unique and you are so lucky to have her…I recently woke up and realized how much I ve changed and not to the person i ve wanted to be ..her negativity finally woke me up…Man what was I thinking…trying to convince us with fake love and emotions..this is not what I wanted…am taking a job in a different city to be away from her…my biggest hold are thee kids not her
@allermd40 : " *I thought toxic wives are rare...* " They are not rare, they are fairly common. What is really rare is women / counselors / therapists acknowledging the reality of the problem and not blaming men for it.
I am a wife its been 4 years now...after watching this video m glad I never showed these traits thats the reason why my husband is always there for me....we have kind of accepted our pluses and minuses and help each other accordingly...we never judge each other...he always tells me that it should be us v/s the problem not me v/s you...he has definitely improved my life so much and i ensure to always give him a safe space where he can come to escape from the world
It took me 16 years to realize my wife came into my life only for the sake of using me. By any means. Now i understand that there's nothing called love. It is only a means of using somebody for personal needs, wishes, desires, etc. Needs keep on changing. So does the behaviour.
I have a one year child and i have to go out from my house for dinner since my wife didnt cook thou i had a tiring day, having diiner from a car watching this video,,this video explains my life,all i wanted was a good wife but my wife is toxic as hell she will never listen to my problems
Your video is an eye opener. And after reading many comments, I realise that I am not the only one who has suffered and is suffering for the past 50 years. I didn't celebrate my /our 50th anniversary because I didn't want to. I have been trying to just somehow get on with whatever life is left now and endure all as I have endured for fifty years.
I absolutely loved this video. My wife has always been controlling. Deciding our vacations. Choosing kids' school even without my consent and then forcibly asking for money when she is overspending. Not respecting me and also trained her friends not to respect me. Then shifting blame and said something was wrong with me. I was confused for many years but finally had the courage to walk out when she stopped her wifely duties.
Same here man. I haven't been the greatest husband at times and I can accountably aay I have hurt others... I can also say that she treats me like shit and I don't have to proper tools or vocabulary to accurately say how she does this, but in many ways she does.
I think this is the life story of most Indian Men nowadays. I am a Man with 15 yrs of Marraige with 2 kids, all what you have said, fits right....Thanks a lot for the Video, I will atleast stop to cure her now and start taking care of myself.
I have been toxic towards my husband. I grew up in a toxic household with a narcissist mother. When I got married I had to clue what being healthy was. I still have some of these traits but I am healing myself from all. It even got to the point that my spouse cheated on me not justifying his actions but I am taking accountability on mines and just want to be better.
Jess, at least you realize the problem and are starting to do something about it, without putting all the blame on your husband. That, in itself, puts you in a better position than most other toxic people. Good luck to you!!
So true. My therapist helped me to find that I was not the problem and that my mental health was at stake. It was hard to leave her but now I’m so proud of myself. She did all that you said!
@@smokingcrab2290 Well, you can avoid the "common law marriage" trap by simply avoiding cohabitation. As far as child support is concerned, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, you SHOULD be paying to support your children, as long as they really are yours (something which is often in doubt these days).
This is one of the best videos I have seen. These are times when people measure success only with money and not with the time you are willing to give in a relationship. In times when a husband is a single child it becomes very difficult to explain to a selfish toxic wife the needs of his parents and how he needs to have a balanced approach towards all the roles....role of a son, role of a father and role of a husband.
My husband keeps comparing me with his female friend and keeps telling me how little I make. My in-laws say why i have a cook at home, I should be cooking and cooking 3 times a day. And I'm blamed if the kid gets less marks in exams. Also he is 40+ so whomever is 30+ unmarried women are there in the office, he makes friends with them, off late I noticed, that this is a pattern.
This applies, to husband, wife, girlfriend or a boyfriend. Even friendships. Applies both ways. Unfortunately I am living in this type of a relationship.
Glad this video helped you. We have another video on how you should approach this situation if you have identified your wife is toxic: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html
Here to share my story with the people in comments section as well. I work 2 jobs because my wife hasn't gone back to work when we had a child 6 years ago. The house is a complete mess, the laundry is never done and piles of dirty clothes are in every room on floor I have to help. The toilets are dirty i clean. I work 7 days a week and also need to find time to buy some workclothes when they wear out because thats all I wear everyday, including socks. Last time my wife got clothes it was because I went to buy her some she refuses to go to the stores to dress herself decently, I shop for both of us with what little time I have. I get yelled at for missing my child's school moments because Im always at work, and get yelled at for not planning a vacation for us. I just can't do and plan everything and being scolded for it. I am mentally and physically exhausted. We fight everyday, it starts with me being yelled at for something so miniscule its not worth mentioning to a partner, and results with me exploding lately in front of our child because I cannot take it anymore. I am always afraid of saying or doing anything around her that she will get mad. I sometimes hold my breath when she comes downstairs from a nap that I will get scolded for something like a dog. But now, I no longer can contain my inside rage that has built up for 12 years. and explode screaming profanities at the top of my lungs because I no longer respect her. I feel terrible all around for becoming something I never was but Im tired of being bullied and living in fear. Part of problem is she has lost alot of my respect. I am aware of that fact, and want to be proud of my wife, but most of the time I am dissapointed because the house is a dump, her appearance is terrible, her attitude is lousy, things don't get done unless I do it, always complains and hates my parents who have contributed huge sums of money to us to buy our first house and a new car when we got married. No matter what, she is never grateful and Im tired of working 7 days a week for us to be financially comfortable, if she does nothing but complain as a stay at home wife.
I have tried everything. Now my mental health is worst. I can not even live my life happily. She is being so judgemental. She wants me to love her parents and hates mine. My parents have done something vad with her and i took a stand for her. I stopped talking to my parents i never take care of them because of that reason. But now its been high time. Even after doing this she is still giving me tentrums and i never said a single word to her. My parents also understood their fault but even after that she is not letting it go. I asked her to leave this house but she refused and everyday she is harrassing me for no good reason. Everyone from her side thinks im selfish i dont care about her then let me tell you one more thing I'm in sexless marriage. I totally kill my all sexual desires after marriage. But she never think about that. I never asked her to get physical after hearing that she dont want to she dont like sex from the beginning. Still i love her. My love is pure for her but now it's at its worst stage. And suicide is the only option for me. I don't want to live my life. Just want to end it. So atleast she and my parents can live happily. Im sorry mom dad and wife.... I. Can not tell this to anyone but whatever happened in the past i love you all. Now everything will be ok and no ine is going to put you in more trouble.... Will see you on the other side of the stars............ Hope Jesus forgive me for my sins....
Do opposite, change urself , screw her with money supply, let her feel same as u felt all ths long , let her do sucied why u . Stet dating meeting ppl , believe u r staying with dead person
Things happen for a reason.. run away from her don't turn back.. things will change after a year. Trust me I have come across the same.. your life will be wonderfull. Just trust God and end the relationship.
U r a man be a man don't ever be weak .. Suicide is for cowards who cannot face their problems.. Believe me it only takes a decision from u to stand up for yourself... When there's a will there's a way.. Good luck..
It's the worst relationship of my life ...I lost everything including myself can't recognize who I am anymore..use to be all bright and knowledgeable..fell sick becos of her behaviour then she treat me like a trash, her brothers smoke weed in my house she's defensive her sister brings men to chill she's defensive...my home was torn apart...
Ma'am, Since 13 years I am facing the same issues, my children & my parent also can not do anything in this... It is very critical for me to make situation right or make comfortable.
Thank you so much Pooja - this is incredibly insightful! (I can’t say any more for obvious reasons, but this content is absolutely top notch - so thank you) 🙏🏽 1 question pls: You mentioned speaking to a counsellor AND a therapist. Your link shows a counsellor. Do you also have therapists? Thank you.
It’s 7 years of marriage and after watching your video i can say 95 % of the symptoms are matching and i am confirmed now that i have a toxic wife but still i am not clear how to deal with this now
Pray. Talk to her (but don't directly call her out about being toxic, just address what she does). Maybe she didn't mean to be toxic and will work to change. It's worth a shot. Try a marriage conference-many churches have them around February. Also set up boundaries. You can learn to greyrock when they are being toxic and open up when they are treating you right (a little positive reinforcement never hurts, plus you are teaching them what behavior you will accept and what you won't). Good luck. I accidentally grayrocked my toxic wife of 5 1/2 years because I just shut down from the abuse. She amped it up before discarding me.
@@davidm4566 i have tried many times to talk to her but she is very stubborn and she always reply “ do whatever you like “ but thanks for your advise bro
This is the story of my 28 year relationship/marriage. The more I understand what happened, the happier I am that the divorce is almost final. Still very painful but I think I see light at the end of this tunnel. One last thing, Bonnie, may your karma come back on you three fold.
Boa tarde, sou de Moçambique, è a minha primeira vez neste canal. Quero agradecer pela informação esclarecedora, sou jovem, 38 anos, estou a quase 18 com a minha esposa, ela era respeitosa, cuidadosa, e seguia a minha liderança, bastou casarmos em 2017, que o problema começou atè hoje, e hoje, vivo todos esse sintomas citados neste video e muito mais...já gostaria de ter saído desta relação há anos...mas os meu filhos 😢 A guerra agora è de recuperar a minha autoestima e voltar a ganhar a minha vida.
A Toxic and controlling husband is someone who don't allow his wife to have affairs with other men. A good husband is someone who allows his wife to have an Open Marriage System... 👍
@RoyAsastha : Unfortunately, you are right. There is a widespread feeling among Western women that a married woman has the *right* to go out and bang other men whenever and wherever she pleases, and the husband has no right to object (if he does, he will be called "insecure, toxic and controlling"). And her women friends and relatives will praise her for it and provide moral support and encouragement. Even if they themselves (the friends / relatives) are not cheating on their husbands, they still support the right of *this* woman to cheat. This is certainly shocking to men, but it is very common. No society can long survive this level of moral rot / debauchery. That's why I say that Western society is circling the drain.
She wanted me to clean more. That’s fair. I started doing all the dishes. It wasn’t enough, so I started doing all of the laundry. That wasn’t enough. I did more. That’s not enough. I asked her not to tell me I’m not doing enough for 1 week. She agreed and was back on it the next day. I’m done doing dishes and laundry and anything. If I’m going to be treated like I’m not doing anything, I might as well not do anything.
I am 50 % toxic for my husband... 😂 I searched this video to check how am I for him ... But I'll make it better. But I always want him to think about me and when we are relaxing I want him to hug me and if he doesn't my mood swings are on peak. I didn't knew that it is toxic for him.
It's always a good idea to be honest and open with each other. He might not understand that your mood has shifted because you wanted affection which he didn't give. He might think you're getting angry for no reason and that will leave him feeling confused ad unhappy. Make sure you always let him know if something he does bothers you!
My wife and I are in this situation as you describe. She thinks I'm toxic and I think she's toxic, it's never-ending yelling so in the end I shut my mouth and stop engaging with her every time we are in a heated argument. But then I started getting fed up with this situation. We have 2 kids and she does not work which is no issue for me but I was expecting she would help me keep the house clean, cause at the end I'm tired at work then I have to keep the house clean also and even do the dishes and clothes. My main complaint to her she's not contributing at home even with house chores. The house is messed up, and she'll do house chores every time she felt like doing it. My main concern is the kitchen, she rarely cooks, and if she cooks the oven, microwave, and stove are left messy. This messy kitchen is affecting me since I don't want insects especially cockroaches will start to creep out of our home. If I raise this concern with her and remind her every time she leaves the kitchen messy she talks back to me that I'm a nagging husband, toxic husband, and compares me to my father (who is never been a good father or husband). I'm lost on this, it's very difficult to talk to this person especially since I already tried this. I want to talk this out to my relatives cause I really felt there is a need of intervention..
9 signs your wife is toxic : 1, her eyes are open 2, her eyes are closed 3, her lips move 4, her lips don't move 5, she's standing up 6, she's sitting down 7, she's alive 8, you haven't buried her under the patio yet. 9, she's dead but she is still moaning about something.
3:28 pooja jee For me your advice has come too late. My ex-wife was not just toxic she was the devils own poison. More than all the points you have mentioned and I must say your description is mild compared to what she did to me. Thank God I recovered but it took me a few years. I wish youtube and you had arrived earlier. Please keep up the good work. May Allah bless you and keep you in good health always. ❤❤
everything said is totally correct in my case,,,,i just cant get out of this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,she has been isolating me since 20004,,,,,,,,,first ,,,,relatives,then family ,,,then my parents,,,then ,,,my best friends my job,,,,,,,and now,,,,its come to my kids
This video, speaks to my heart directly. It's happening especially the isolation part. No supportive words and I have work pressure and my son is autistic. Omg
Learn how to stop your wife’s control and manipulation with the help of our counsellor. Find out more:
www.bonobology.com/online-therapy/
What if your husband do these things with you
What if husband do these things with his wife?
Is always women abusive...
Jesus.. described my wife.
Can be in both sex.... Husband being Toxic..... every body will come to know.....but wife being Toxic nobody knows..... Husband no usually suffers in Silence for the sake of Children or Relationship becoz usually when they diagnose Wife being Toxic....by the age of 40 or 40 plus.....where they won't usually get new relationship/marriage(at this age)
Whats even more sad is the amount of men who searched for this video because how their wives are treating them..
I did
So did I
Nail on the head. I'm one of them.
On vacation even. I need to leave her.
😔
My parents always told me from childhood that betting and gambling is a bad thing. But, now as a married man I feel it is better than the Gamble of MARRIAGE.
I suggest young boys to be away from marriage. Take care of your old parents. Take your parents for a vacation and Llive a Happy SINGLE life.
The emotional need and passing youth often makes men make such gambles. But you are right. It is indeed a deadly gamble. Not worth it.
Taking care of your old parent and making them happy gives far more genuine happiness and fulfilment.
So true
True, got married few months ago and suffering now. No way out 😢
@MuzySunk there's always a way out.
I'm a mechanic and I'm sitting out back tearing up because every single thing you listed is accurate. 18 years and 3 kids. I absolutely hate my life.
We’re so sorry to hear that. Having a toxic wife becomes an even more complicated situation when children are involved
She made you hate your life... gain control over yourself and start doing things you like, like the things you did when single, you will start feeling good again...
Watch some Andrew Tate and take the control of your family..
Move on the best way you can bro.
Ya men are controlling ??? Never ever . She says why don't you ever want to do anything. I say in my mind " cause I'll make a wrong turn on the way and get into a huge fight then she well yell in public . Oh it's F bad I'm absolutely broken
I am a lady I have realized I am being toxic to my husband .the fear of losing him and about future ,kids makes me do somehow this behavior.i have never realized I am effecting my husbands mental health I am going to work on myself now thanks for the information 🙏
It’s amazing that you’ve recognised your mistakes and want to make active changes to be better!
I wish my wife starts to think like this.
My girls thinks she right all the time it’s her word or the highway she don’t listen to me or what I have to say but expect me to meet her demands
Same too. I think I'm a toxic wife too 😔
When you have the maturity to self realize that you are toxic, thats a great indiction you are going to be out of that toxic behavior soon. My wishes!
I absolutely don't trust my wife. She hasnt ruined me and my life though, I have allowed her to do so. I wish i could go back in time and never have met her.
Same here.
@@raftaarsingh3327 is your name really Raftaarsigh? I ❤️ your name.
Same 😢
Well, on the other hand, we cannot be a control freak either and if you don't control some things, it will go out of hand and she will cross boundaries
Most wives become toxic after her husband's mother dies
Yes, my wife is toxic. My wife is highly manipulative, demanding, threating (often with divorce), explosive anger, name calling, condescending, silent treatment. She is ALWAYS right, never interested in any other point of view to name a few. My wife controls ALL the money and I'm given an allowance. I'm always questioned what I spend my allowance on, but she Never tells me what she spends money on. Yes, my wife is toxic.
Your wife have Narcissist personality disorder. Please check with consultant psychologist and also you will get good information from google and youtube.
Feels same..
Run like the wind bro. I’m serious. Get out of there today.
I'm a victim of silent treatment (its not treatment ) :(
See i control the money but he made his own bed when we almost lost everything because he blew his money on bad things. I cant trust him with money now so i told him the choice was his. Let me control the money until i can trust him raising his allowance as i see improvement or i leave. And he agreed to give me the money. I hate it. I feel controling i hate it but like god dammit i do not wanna move into a box with my kids cuz i always try to trust him. So far this video is teaching me im not toxic. Maybe some ways but thank goodness. Im not as bad as my spouse makes me feel :( im in a very toxic relationship with him. I just wanna be happy. He says he doesnt think ill be happy with anyone. Idk maybe. Maybe i should he alone for a while
Sucks we don’t learn these things until it’s too late now we’re pretty much screwed…
They wait until you marry them or have children together before they show their 'true self'
@@deamo1119 NOTHING could be more correct than this at the moment
@@deamo1119exactly!!!!!
At least we enjoyed the screwing.
It’s only too late if your a ball less wuss. Kids are no excuse to stay married to some snatch. It’s actually worse. As much as you try to hide it they see what’s going on and will grow up seeing this as normal in thier relationships . Not to mention they grow up knowing they have a whipped pussy for a father. Show them it’s not ok to be treated poorly.
Single here! Living the best of life ever ! 😂😂😂
Be single for ever , stay away from women if you want mental peace ...
I am so happy for you, stay blessed ❤
Dude just stay were u are hahaha
Lol😂😂😂
More power to you. Stay single stay happy.
I realise that in the last 31 years of marriage everything you mentioned is true about my wife. Surprisingly I also recognise my own toxic behaviour after reflecting on these last 30 years. It's not all black and white. I apologised to my wife three years ago and decided to do what I can to remove toxicity from our relationship. On my suggestion we started couples counseling and with good results and so I thought. Gaslighting control and financial control all is true. I love her very much but apparently she doesn't have any feelings for me. So we are living separate lives in different countries. I wish her well. We are not officially divorced but there's no more toxicity due to our distance and my commitment to give her the space she needs.
Keep going. Sounds like you have made positive changes and you're making progress.
Sorry to ask but do you have children? If yes, is your decision affecting them?
Couples counseling almost never fixes marriages. 9 times out of 10 it just leads to the woman leaving.
Because most counselor are always biased towards women . @@JOSEPH-f7u7m
you made and comfortable as becuase staying away as i have grown daughters how it is possible to stay away ?
I’m even afraid of saying anything against her,…fed up of everything,life’s hell now
just leave
Same here😢
I'm in the same boat as you.
Just be selfish about your health and well-being and focus on yourself, come what may. I did that but after 11 yrs of torture and am finally happy and free. I had to take a decision and I did before it was too late as it affected my health so much.
I hear you. Even when I'm just defending myself calmly, she responds with rage.
13 years & 2 kids. Your video is almost like my life's story. I am living with someone who is ever critical of everything I do. She wouldn't take responsibility or ownership of anything but criticize every decision I take. She'll go out of her way to make me suffer if I am even speaking to my parents or sister. She's the reason I spend every single day for the past many years under stress. I've gained weight & do not feel like moving out for a walk even though I like to play badminton and tennis. I want to work on my career for achieving better prospects but her behaviour creates conditions in my house that I always feel mentally tired and exhausted.
Quit feeling sorry yourself. Get off your ass and do something. Start by walking every day, eating less and getting to bed early.
Exercise, 100 push-ups and 100 body weight squats a day.
And stop overeating.
This is all much easier to do than making your wife happy. And the results will change your life for the better.
Take control of your life. Join a gym. Lose weight that you have gained. Do something for yourself and stop feeling sorry. She won't like it and will try to make your life miserable. Don't retaliate or be cruel. Just do your own thing and improve physical well-being which will give you a positive outlook out of her domain and control.
@@nmazhar1979Be extremely manipulative and get in shape and pretend to care then one day dump her and leave the state without warning.
You hate your life but you got 2 kids with her ahahahah thats funny. 13 years and 2 kids... thats very strange
buddy... i can understand u
1. Self Doubt
2. Controlling Behaviour
3. Will make you feel isolated
4. She is Always Right, you are always Wrong
5. Gas Lighting
6. Financial Control
7. She has Zero Concern for you
8. She won't give you nay personal space
9. She does NOT support you
@@bobdobalina8910 this is something all young men need to learn in school because you’re not prepared for it. You fall in love then bam she hit you with shit like this. Then it’s either put up with it or let her have half of everything.
My wife is also super toxic. She never supports me in my decisions and is always critical of what i do. she always demean me in front of my neighbours and family members. it is so painful for the last 25 years. even on a spiritual visit ,she does not miss to fight on very petty issues. she always complains about everything and have a negative view of everything. Anyways, i spend a lot on her and never say 'No' to any of her demands.
at times,she is so much abusive with me and calls names to my parents.
She does have all the characteristics of a toxic spouse. for the last 3 days, i m damn seriously thinking about moving to other city
and live alone.
I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in. Before you move, we have a video with some tips on how you can deal with a toxic wife: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html - it might help you!
Run like the wind brother. I’m serious. Get out of there today.
Ma I know present situations
SvI
@@Bonobologyi think toxic wives more common that what I thought
I wish I could leave behind everything and go away far away..
Same here bro but it’s not easy 😕
Please stay, your wife loves you,im sure
Same here..😢
I wish I could go to Shangri-La & never come back! A mystical place in James Hilton’s book, “Lost Horizon.”
This is so true!!!! Also, there is no solution to such a situation. Work on yourself, gather strength and wisdom, focus on self and make yourself a priority. When you have good people around you, you will no longer need or need to tolerate toxic ones!!!!
marriage itself is toxic
I super agree
Yes
😂😂😂
My wife has all the characteristics mentioned. We've been through months of counseling, with different counsellors resulting in my wife being told she is the problem and her breaking down in tears with remorse, then going back to square one the very next day denying the outcome. Tried every approach, to no avail.
As is mentioned in this video, toxic people never take responsibility for their behavior because they know very well within themselves that they are wrong. They are highly selfish and don't care exploiting others. It is an illusion to expect that any counselling and therapy will change such people because they do all their bad deeds with full awareness.
personal character can't be changed
Wow. Have you tried counselling on your own? To help YOU feel better I mean? (Like she said in the vid). I’m going to try that.
@georgemathewuk I've been looking around my area for a therapist. Definitely open to it. Thanks for the reply.
Mine smeared my name to her Pastor ad the wife. Wen dey heard my side of the story… She ran away from the Church
I have watched this video and have decided that there are enough difference that, while our relationship is very difficult, it could NOT be considered toxic. This gives me hope. Thank you.
Glad to hear it. Mine was toxic.
You absolutely have hope. Many churches have marriage conferences in Feb so I would check that out. Get in some couples counseling so you can both learn to communicate when something bothers you and what you need (and how to give each other what you both need-it can be harder than it seems at first.)
Give her time and she will become much worse. Look at the red flags and decide what you want. I decided to stay for my children and she is killing me slowly
@@davidm4566 I'm *very* skeptical that churches or couples counseling can help a man in this situation, because all these institutions are thoroughly biased in favor of women. The focus always seems to be on comforting / reassuring the woman that she is doing nothing wrong, and chastising the man to guilt-trip him into total meekness / submission to her.
I believe this problem is *much more serious* than anyone is letting on, and it's all because the victims (in most cases) are men and the perpetrators are women. In general, we (men) are on our own, no one gives a damn about our feelings, it's all about "what's good for women, what do women want?"
The very fact that more and more Y/T videos are coming out on this topic is proof (IMO) that this crisis *cannot*, any longer, be swept under the rug or wished away. Western society is on the brink of total collapse because of feminism and Marxism.
@@BlueFish-kq9fh There are good ones out there. I was getting counseling with my wife until she shut down because me and the therapist were "ganging up on her".
No, he called me out on what I was doing wrong and the same for her, she just couldn't handle it because of her narcissism. Anyway, it just shows that there are good ones out there.
I was isolated from my friends and family and ripped to shreds by her I'm out of it and healing thanks to friends family and channels like yours thank you❤
You are a man so you are lying.
Bravo !!Well done !! Please keep sharing your stories across social media - so that people get hope and work towards their own peace
@@NormanVarnadoe Norman I know it’s easier said than done. I hope you’re doing good man.
It took 8 years to identify that it was a toxic relationship right from the start. Now atleast I priortized myself and just moving out to breath again
Walk Away
Awesome! 👍👍👍
Right.
Indian males are thoroughly groomed entire life to feel that their duty is to please and care everybody and everything around. They don't know how to take care of themselves. It is difficult to learn later, but it is really good to learn. It can make you come out of quicksand.
At present we did not expect anything from our wife's, not even love, not even respect, not even peace in life.
But we are also not expecting disrespect and every time controlling our emotions.
😂😂😂 very good u support feminists so enjoy😊😊😊😊😊😊
@@comedyalbums7202no, feminism is what ruined women in the first place. It's a narcissist factory.
Toxic is also using vulnerabilities they are told or realise against you.
I had toxic relationship. I walked away from my wife. Everything you listed in video is right. She tried to intimidate me . She always abuse me and my parents. She never allowed me to talk to other relatives. She was evil. Just because of my baby boy i was bearing this torture . Later on i realised that i deserve a better life . I simply walked away from her and decided to never go back.
I hope my relationship will not end up like yours. I wanna leave her, but i have a baby girl and I dont wanna see her growing up without a father
I know she will never change...after walked away from her...after a month ...i got legal notice with all false allegation ..i filed directly for divorce in a court but now i am thinking about my baby boy...what will be his future without father..her people coming to me for asking my forgivenes and settling up this matter out of court... I m also thinking to give her one last chance...just due to my son....
@@sameermujawar1790 wow thats great that you have thought of giving a last chance, thats your greatness but has she ever approached you directly seeking for a last chance? matter is that if not she has that ego. People coming to you on behalf of her ...requesting or appealing...i am a kind skeptical..Anyways giving her a chance a good move though😅.
She regretted losing me...She came with her people along with my son .... She hugged me and asked for my forgiveness ....I also ask her forgiveness...Matter settled down...l love has been restored again...Let's hope for the beautiful life.....
@@sameermujawar1790 Thats amazing and so sweet...Atleast you both have regretted and asked for forgiveness....thats what is needed...Go ahead and Start a beautiful life..God bless your family...
My wife doesn’t work, doesn’t try to work and if she had a job, found excuses to leave it and dump her crap on me. She spends our paycheck as soon as it hits the bank. She demands I do everything for her. I work 60 hours a week, take care of our child and do nearly all the household chores because she is an excuse within an excuse. She demands I do things for her and expects me to do it without saying anything. I’m constantly picked apart for anything I do, I can’t do anything for myself because it’s wrong to her. If I stand up to her, she turns up the threats and mental and verbal abuse. It’s insane and I know I need to shut her down. I just don’t know what to do in fear of losing everything.
No matter what you lose but you should consider ending this relationship. Things will only become worse with age. Your peacefulness is the most important thing in life.
Don’t kid yourself losing everything is a very strong possibility in a divorce and worse the older you get but hey if you wind up homeless and broke at least you’ll have peace !
Nah no way protect yourself and the life you’ve worked hard to build ..think outside the box
We are on the same situation.
My wife and I are in this situation as you describe.
She thinks I'm toxic and I think she's toxic, it's never-ending yelling so in the end I shut my mouth and stop engaging with her every time we are in a heated argument. But then I started getting fed up with this situation.
We have 2 kids and she does not work which is no issue for me but I was expecting she would help me keep the house clean, cause at the end I'm tired at work then I have to keep the house clean also and even do the dishes and clothes. My main complaint to her she's not contributing at home even with house chores. The house is messed up, and she'll do house chores every time she felt like doing it.
My main concern is the kitchen, she rarely cooks, and if she cooks the oven, microwave, and stove are left messy. This messy kitchen is affecting me since I don't want insects especially cockroaches will start to creep out of our home. If I raise this concern with her and remind her every time she leaves the kitchen messy she talks back to me that I'm a nagging husband, toxic husband, and compares me to my father (who is never been a good father or husband).
I'm lost on this, it's very difficult to talk to this person especially since I already tried this. I want to talk this out to my relatives cause I really felt there is a need of intervention..
Today's mainstream media ( drama series and movies) and paid social media with an agenda have caused this that women are fed so much lies as all men and in laws are misogynist and cruel etc. With negative thoughts in their subconscious when they get married even the good mens become evil. In your case your wife is also a lazy person and today's women try to fight back as are thought in the same media different techniques.
That's why divorce rate has skyrocketed in most countries in past few decades.
U should search for how to deal with narcissistic spouse and settle this early and if no improvement just leave the relationship.
Leave now ... separate ... then file for divorce. Life is too short for an unappreciated wife!!
It's only going to get worse & her more needy in the years to come. Serenity & Peace before you're stuck for the rest of your days on earth.
Very insightful and direct information. Would like to see more realistic content like this!
Thanks!
Thank you, glad you connected with this
I have been trapped by a toxic woman for years, and this all resonates to what you have said in the video. She used me as a bait to get out of her parents' home and from her previous marriages. I ended up in a ditch as a slave to her, because i felt pity for her, as she threatened to take sleeping pills. She has been a user, abuser, and a financial paradite to my life. She stole allof money, destroyed my credit, hid my mail, and when i realized, what was happening, she accused me of wrongdoing and made my life miserable. And the rest is toxic history.
Help me, my wife is like this, I'm so afraid of her that I just sit at home and don't go out or see my family because I don't want her to get in bad mood and get angry with me, I just feel like I'm always walking on thin ice
Communicate what you just said to her. And if she's not willing to change, leave.
Remember to be a MAN don't be wimpy or timid . I loss it on my wife when i have had enough of her controlling bs . I MEAN loss it nothing volant but very clear that you better shut up or im going start smashing the house up . Japanese woman are so good to there men they don't even know how to yell . Very calm and i can asure you all the men here hate YELLING from our bitch wife . We need to bring Japanese woman here .
Just do what you want and ignore her. BTW, record her whenever there is an argument. Do not get get angry at all, be fully in control all the time. Unless she accepts your masculinity, divorce her. Keep all the recording since you will need those to prove how bad her behaviour was all the time. She will try to put false 498A but these recordings will prove she is lying. Become free once and for all since people never change, they just become worse over time.
Run, get away, Brother. They manipulate you by using your family, money, and so forth. I couldn’t change her no matter what.
Run as far as you can. Go visit my Cambodia and find a good wife there, and she'll treat you like a king
THere is no solution for living with a toxic spouse. Divorce is the only answer. You can worry about all the healing - of yourself - after. As for the (ex) spouse... to hell with them!
And if you have kids?
@@deamo1119 Give her a blumpkin on only fans and give the kids up for adoption.
@@deamo1119 Give her a blumpkin on only fans and give the kids up for adoption.
Agreed divorce is the only way but divorce is expensive
Thank you for this ma'am . Apparently I have a toxic wife and I wasn't aware of it . Regards
We’re glad you found the video helpful!
Oh! Thats sad
That’s really painful 😢
Thank you for the video. I understood where I Stand. Can you also make a video on the next steps to be taken so that we can come out and maintain our well-being?
Glad this video helped you. Here is the video you requested: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html
Never trust your wife if she's being in toxic guys.
If i show this to my wife, i do not think she will accept it and will try to find reasons to justify her behavior. I have never seen a video i can relate to in this regard. Thank you very much.
I'm glad you found this video helpful. We have some advice on dealing with it here: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html Hopefully that will help you :) Please take care of yourself
I couldn’t even show this to my wife! She would refuse to watch it !
Came here to see if my wife is toxic but found that I’ve more toxic traits than her. I am improving right now
I can proudly say that none of the points match with my wife's behavior with me. I love her and she is the best partner one can ever have
20 years in and I just want to give up not because I don’t love her but I’m tired of being the blame for everything wrong with my marriage
🫂get well soon dear
My ex wife had multiple narcissist's behaviours but luckily I was aware what she was doing. Even then it was not easy. For that reason it is so much easier now to heal once I understood breaking up was the best decision ever! Happily we have no mortgage and no kids. Guys! Please run for your own life NOW!
A very famous saying “happy wife, happy life” … 99% marriages are where men are henpecked and miserable.
Choose one
Henpecked is a good word for it
That saying is the problem. It turns women into an idol who think their feelings are the measurement of right and wrong.
@@transitionshotline I am 100% sure the 99% is correct.
See that's the problem who ever came up with the term Happy wife Happy life is got to be the worst and shameful thing to say. Let me put it right Happy spouse Happy house this includes both and not just one gender so I hope that that phase Happy wife Happy house will just disappear cause it's not a true saying in most cases
My Wife of 34 years complains about anything and everything that I do. NOTHING I do, is done to Her approval. Her opinion always overrules mine, she will argue with me over most things. My Wife also has taken control of most, not all of our financial decisions. My Wife rarely, if ever supports me in my successes in life or in my hobbies. I used to be very friendly and outgoing, but now I find my disposition is more dark and negative and often times confrontational, even with some friends. It has most certainly changed me, and if I could do things over again...I might not have married her.
I think you should see first how you are behaving with her, are you supporting her emotionally? Are you supporting her financially? Are you supporting her passion? Are you having intimate relationship with her?
I am proud of my wife. She trusts me with almost everything including, money, emails, and any difficulties/challenges she faces in life despite me encouraging her to be more independent and have greater confidence. I love you .....
wonderfully explained maam, thank you very much, my dad advisd me the same , sincere regards
In my life , to be honest, there are 50% of the signs strongly present, but 50% not. And it is episodes of extreme toxicity. Also the life partner is normal after all such instances and I am left completely wrecked up and to deal with the after effects completely on my own. The question of separation is impossible because of the children and because of my life life partner financially dependent on me. I find myself completely helpless.
I have the same problem, have u got the solution?
@@bhaveshkatara8967 🙁 Sorry my friend, please read the last line of my comment, you ll get the answer..
She looks like Narcissist to me!
Great. I cannot agree more with what you are describing as toxic.
I thought toxic wives are rare until i watched this video..when a wife tries to prove you are wrong and name call your parents …belittle anything that you do for her..doubt anyone that you know or talk to …ask to eat foods that make you sick saying that it is all in your head….keep brining things from the past to tell you how much you dont care for her…pull any excuse in the book that she is quite unique and you are so lucky to have her…I recently woke up and realized how much I ve changed and not to the person i ve wanted to be ..her negativity finally woke me up…Man what was I thinking…trying to convince us with fake love and emotions..this is not what I wanted…am taking a job in a different city to be away from her…my biggest hold are thee kids not her
@allermd40 : " *I thought toxic wives are rare...* "
They are not rare, they are fairly common. What is really rare is women / counselors / therapists acknowledging the reality of the problem and not blaming men for it.
I am a wife its been 4 years now...after watching this video m glad I never showed these traits thats the reason why my husband is always there for me....we have kind of accepted our pluses and minuses and help each other accordingly...we never judge each other...he always tells me that it should be us v/s the problem not me v/s you...he has definitely improved my life so much and i ensure to always give him a safe space where he can come to escape from the world
It took me 16 years to realize my wife came into my life only for the sake of using me. By any means.
Now i understand that there's nothing called love. It is only a means of using somebody for personal needs, wishes, desires, etc. Needs keep on changing. So does the behaviour.
Explained in simple manner. Many people would not be knowing this red flags and acting like a robot in their life. Thanks for such awareness
Many thanks for this valuable video 🙏🙏🙏
Wow. I feel so much better Watching this.😊
I have a one year child and i have to go out from my house for dinner since my wife didnt cook thou i had a tiring day, having diiner from a car watching this video,,this video explains my life,all i wanted was a good wife but my wife is toxic as hell she will never listen to my problems
How about divorce
It's not too late to leave. Yourself is the most important.
Your video is an eye opener. And after reading many comments, I realise that I am not the only one who has suffered and is suffering for the past 50 years. I didn't celebrate my /our 50th anniversary because I didn't want to. I have been trying to just somehow get on with whatever life is left now and endure all as I have endured for fifty years.
Only solution is to ditch such toxic people
I absolutely loved this video. My wife has always been controlling. Deciding our vacations. Choosing kids' school even without my consent and then forcibly asking for money when she is overspending. Not respecting me and also trained her friends not to respect me. Then shifting blame and said something was wrong with me. I was confused for many years but finally had the courage to walk out when she stopped her wifely duties.
Thank you. I'm in a very toxic marriage, it's stressful.
Sorry to hear that. Please do write how/what has helped so the readers here can gain some insight.
Same here man. I haven't been the greatest husband at times and I can accountably aay I have hurt others... I can also say that she treats me like shit and I don't have to proper tools or vocabulary to accurately say how she does this, but in many ways she does.
If u are not happy.. If she is not happy them divorce her..
I think this is the life story of most Indian Men nowadays. I am a Man with 15 yrs of Marraige with 2 kids, all what you have said, fits right....Thanks a lot for the Video, I will atleast stop to cure her now and start taking care of myself.
I have been toxic towards my husband. I grew up in a toxic household with a narcissist mother.
When I got married I had to clue what being healthy was. I still have some of these traits but I am healing myself from all. It even got to the point that my spouse cheated on me not justifying his actions but I am taking accountability on mines and just want to be better.
Jess, at least you realize the problem and are starting to do something about it, without putting all the blame on your husband. That, in itself, puts you in a better position than most other toxic people. Good luck to you!!
So true. My therapist helped me to find that I was not the problem and that my mental health was at stake. It was hard to leave her but now I’m so proud of myself. She did all that you said!
The moral of the story is never get married to begin with. You can then walk away at any time with no worries
Did that I’m now 40 years in and 😮👀🤐
It depends. You'll still get boned with the common law marriage bs and if you have a kid you'll still pay child support.
@@smokingcrab2290 Well, you can avoid the "common law marriage" trap by simply avoiding cohabitation. As far as child support is concerned, there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, you SHOULD be paying to support your children, as long as they really are yours (something which is often in doubt these days).
This is one of the best videos I have seen. These are times when people measure success only with money and not with the time you are willing to give in a relationship. In times when a husband is a single child it becomes very difficult to explain to a selfish toxic wife the needs of his parents and how he needs to have a balanced approach towards all the roles....role of a son, role of a father and role of a husband.
Wonderful practical explanation and advise
My husband keeps comparing me with his female friend and keeps telling me how little I make. My in-laws say why i have a cook at home, I should be cooking and cooking 3 times a day. And I'm blamed if the kid gets less marks in exams. Also he is 40+ so whomever is 30+ unmarried women are there in the office, he makes friends with them, off late I noticed, that this is a pattern.
This applies, to husband, wife, girlfriend or a boyfriend. Even friendships. Applies both ways. Unfortunately I am living in this type of a relationship.
You are a blessing to my life this is the video that solved my mystery questions self doubts.....forever grateful
Glad this video helped you. We have another video on how you should approach this situation if you have identified your wife is toxic: th-cam.com/video/05sXK84DYac/w-d-xo.html
Fantastic and quite true observation… I should have seen this video decades ago..Now all the damage has been done in my life 😢
Then you get to the point where you dgaf anymore about what they think and begin to rise up as a Phoenix 😂 stay strong gentlemen
Thanks woman!!!
All these apply to my wife!!
Help me because am concerned with many children I have with her
Should have used a rubber
Very good video, thank you!
Glad you liked it!
Here to share my story with the people in comments section as well.
I work 2 jobs because my wife hasn't gone back to work when we had a child 6 years ago.
The house is a complete mess, the laundry is never done and piles of dirty clothes are in every room on floor I have to help. The toilets are dirty i clean.
I work 7 days a week and also need to find time to buy some workclothes when they wear out because thats all I wear everyday, including socks.
Last time my wife got clothes it was because I went to buy her some she refuses to go to the stores to dress herself decently, I shop for both of us with what little time I have.
I get yelled at for missing my child's school moments because Im always at work, and get yelled at for not planning a vacation for us.
I just can't do and plan everything and being scolded for it. I am mentally and physically exhausted.
We fight everyday, it starts with me being yelled at for something so miniscule its not worth mentioning to a partner, and results with me exploding lately in front of our child because I cannot take it anymore.
I am always afraid of saying or doing anything around her that she will get mad.
I sometimes hold my breath when she comes downstairs from a nap that I will get scolded for something like a dog.
But now, I no longer can contain my inside rage that has built up for 12 years. and explode screaming profanities at the top of my lungs because I no longer respect her.
I feel terrible all around for becoming something I never was but Im tired of being bullied and living in fear. Part of problem is she has lost alot of my respect. I am aware of that fact, and want to be proud of my wife, but most of the time I am dissapointed because the house is a dump, her appearance is terrible, her attitude is lousy, things don't get done unless I do it, always complains and hates my parents who have contributed huge sums of money to us to buy our first house and a new car when we got married.
No matter what, she is never grateful and Im tired of working 7 days a week for us to be financially comfortable, if she does nothing but complain as a stay at home wife.
I have tried everything. Now my mental health is worst. I can not even live my life happily. She is being so judgemental. She wants me to love her parents and hates mine. My parents have done something vad with her and i took a stand for her. I stopped talking to my parents i never take care of them because of that reason. But now its been high time. Even after doing this she is still giving me tentrums and i never said a single word to her. My parents also understood their fault but even after that she is not letting it go. I asked her to leave this house but she refused and everyday she is harrassing me for no good reason. Everyone from her side thinks im selfish i dont care about her then let me tell you one more thing I'm in sexless marriage. I totally kill my all sexual desires after marriage. But she never think about that. I never asked her to get physical after hearing that she dont want to she dont like sex from the beginning. Still i love her. My love is pure for her but now it's at its worst stage. And suicide is the only option for me. I don't want to live my life. Just want to end it. So atleast she and my parents can live happily. Im sorry mom dad and wife.... I. Can not tell this to anyone but whatever happened in the past i love you all. Now everything will be ok and no ine is going to put you in more trouble.... Will see you on the other side of the stars............ Hope Jesus forgive me for my sins....
Do opposite, change urself , screw her with money supply, let her feel same as u felt all ths long , let her do sucied why u . Stet dating meeting ppl , believe u r staying with dead person
Things happen for a reason.. run away from her don't turn back.. things will change after a year. Trust me I have come across the same.. your life will be wonderfull. Just trust God and end the relationship.
U r a man be a man don't ever be weak ..
Suicide is for cowards who cannot face their problems..
Believe me it only takes a decision from u to stand up for yourself...
When there's a will there's a way..
Good luck..
It's the worst relationship of my life ...I lost everything including myself can't recognize who I am anymore..use to be all bright and knowledgeable..fell sick becos of her behaviour then she treat me like a trash, her brothers smoke weed in my house she's defensive her sister brings men to chill she's defensive...my home was torn apart...
Ma'am, Since 13 years I am facing the same issues, my children & my parent also can not do anything in this... It is very critical for me to make situation right or make comfortable.
Very informative Video ❤️❤️
To safe your life just walk away. You have one life to live, enjoy it.
" Happy wife, Happy life is sexist thing" - said by no feminist
Excellent analyses !!
Thank you so much Pooja - this is incredibly insightful! (I can’t say any more for obvious reasons, but this content is absolutely top notch - so thank you) 🙏🏽
1 question pls:
You mentioned speaking to a counsellor AND a therapist. Your link shows a counsellor.
Do you also have therapists? Thank you.
It’s 7 years of marriage and after watching your video i can say 95 % of the symptoms are matching and i am confirmed now that i have a toxic wife but still i am not clear how to deal with this now
Pray. Talk to her (but don't directly call her out about being toxic, just address what she does).
Maybe she didn't mean to be toxic and will work to change. It's worth a shot.
Try a marriage conference-many churches have them around February.
Also set up boundaries. You can learn to greyrock when they are being toxic and open up when they are treating you right (a little positive reinforcement never hurts, plus you are teaching them what behavior you will accept and what you won't).
Good luck. I accidentally grayrocked my toxic wife of 5 1/2 years because I just shut down from the abuse. She amped it up before discarding me.
@@davidm4566 i have tried many times to talk to her but she is very stubborn and she always reply “ do whatever you like “ but thanks for your advise bro
Love marriage or arranged marriage?
@@AshTheDuke unfortunately love marriage 😣
Its too good please also release this video in Hindi for rest people..They will be grateful
I am very sorry and feeling sad for the men, because we searched this is for a reason
This is the story of my 28 year relationship/marriage.
The more I understand what happened, the happier I am that the divorce is almost final.
Still very painful but I think I see light at the end of this tunnel.
One last thing, Bonnie, may your karma come back on you three fold.
Excellent... 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
I never seen any video in this channel, simply subscribed just after watching this one.
With Love🙏
Damn this has been my fiancé for 8 years 😢
OMG
Every single word is true actually! I'm sure huge ground efforts had been made for this
Good men suffer with bad wife Good women suffer with bad man its going vice versa😢
100% accurate... she just does what husband does not like
Boa tarde, sou de Moçambique, è a minha primeira vez neste canal.
Quero agradecer pela informação esclarecedora, sou jovem, 38 anos, estou a quase 18 com a minha esposa, ela era respeitosa, cuidadosa, e seguia a minha liderança, bastou casarmos em 2017, que o problema começou atè hoje, e hoje, vivo todos esse sintomas citados neste video e muito mais...já gostaria de ter saído desta relação há anos...mas os meu filhos 😢
A guerra agora è de recuperar a minha autoestima e voltar a ganhar a minha vida.
Não estas sozinho primo basta Casares ate te ameaçam tipo se quiseres sair vai não tem problema a casa fica comigo è so mandares dinheiro kkkkk
Awesome. God bless u for this unique and kind of bold content in today's world of Main thare pair ki juti na :)
A Toxic and controlling husband is someone who don't allow his wife to have affairs with other men. A good husband is someone who allows his wife to have an Open Marriage System... 👍
Eww no… I don’t want to sleep with a bunch of other people.
Man whose wife is toxic... Always says that..
That whayI love you mom... In my bed room at 1 am
@RoyAsastha : Unfortunately, you are right. There is a widespread feeling among Western women that a married woman has the *right* to go out and bang other men whenever and wherever she pleases, and the husband has no right to object (if he does, he will be called "insecure, toxic and controlling"). And her women friends and relatives will praise her for it and provide moral support and encouragement. Even if they themselves (the friends / relatives) are not cheating on their husbands, they still support the right of *this* woman to cheat. This is certainly shocking to men, but it is very common.
No society can long survive this level of moral rot / debauchery. That's why I say that Western society is circling the drain.
She wanted me to clean more. That’s fair. I started doing all the dishes. It wasn’t enough, so I started doing all of the laundry. That wasn’t enough. I did more. That’s not enough. I asked her not to tell me I’m not doing enough for 1 week. She agreed and was back on it the next day.
I’m done doing dishes and laundry and anything. If I’m going to be treated like I’m not doing anything, I might as well not do anything.
I am 50 % toxic for my husband... 😂 I searched this video to check how am I for him ... But I'll make it better. But I always want him to think about me and when we are relaxing I want him to hug me and if he doesn't my mood swings are on peak. I didn't knew that it is toxic for him.
It's always a good idea to be honest and open with each other. He might not understand that your mood has shifted because you wanted affection which he didn't give. He might think you're getting angry for no reason and that will leave him feeling confused ad unhappy. Make sure you always let him know if something he does bothers you!
Better be open to him about your expectations
We choose when young and ignorant. So important to listen to parents.
My wife and I are in this situation as you describe.
She thinks I'm toxic and I think she's toxic, it's never-ending yelling so in the end I shut my mouth and stop engaging with her every time we are in a heated argument. But then I started getting fed up with this situation.
We have 2 kids and she does not work which is no issue for me but I was expecting she would help me keep the house clean, cause at the end I'm tired at work then I have to keep the house clean also and even do the dishes and clothes. My main complaint to her she's not contributing at home even with house chores. The house is messed up, and she'll do house chores every time she felt like doing it.
My main concern is the kitchen, she rarely cooks, and if she cooks the oven, microwave, and stove are left messy. This messy kitchen is affecting me since I don't want insects especially cockroaches will start to creep out of our home. If I raise this concern with her and remind her every time she leaves the kitchen messy she talks back to me that I'm a nagging husband, toxic husband, and compares me to my father (who is never been a good father or husband).
I'm lost on this, it's very difficult to talk to this person especially since I already tried this. I want to talk this out to my relatives cause I really felt there is a need of intervention..
Whose wife is not toxic😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉😂😂😂😂😂😂
9 signs your wife is toxic :
1, her eyes are open
2, her eyes are closed
3, her lips move
4, her lips don't move
5, she's standing up
6, she's sitting down 7, she's alive
8, you haven't buried her under the patio yet.
9, she's dead but she is still moaning about something.
So u R A women.
😂😂😂😂😂😂
Ur description match to a perfect wife 😜
3:28 pooja jee
For me your advice has come too late. My ex-wife was not just toxic she was the devils own poison. More than all the points you have mentioned and I must say your description is mild compared to what she did to me.
Thank God I recovered but it took me a few years.
I wish youtube and you had arrived earlier. Please keep up the good work. May Allah bless you and keep you in good health always. ❤❤
Wow that is so accurate, Coming this from a woman is so re affirming and relieving
everything said is totally correct in my case,,,,i just cant get out of this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,she has been isolating me since 20004,,,,,,,,,first ,,,,relatives,then family ,,,then my parents,,,then ,,,my best friends my job,,,,,,,and now,,,,its come to my kids
This video, speaks to my heart directly. It's happening especially the isolation part.
No supportive words and I have work pressure and my son is autistic. Omg
💐 Good Conversation