DYLAN MULVANEY'S "DAYS OF GIRLHOOD" MOCKS WOMEN | TRANS GUY REACTS
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- In today's video I talk about Dylan Mulvaney's new song "Days Of Girlhood" and discuss whether or not "Days Of Girlhood" is a misogynistic mockery of what women go through, or just a fun song made by a trans woman who wanted to celebrate her transition in a silly, carefree way.
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Womanhood and girlhood are completely different though.
💯💯💯💯
Say it louder for the people in the back 💯💯💯💯
this argument frustrates me because i even pointed out in my video that a couple months ago there were grown women who were making “girl dinner” and “girl math” their entire personality and it was a huge trend that nobody batted an eye at, but now that a trans woman has put out a song where she describes what “girlhood” means to HER, suddenly there’s a massive difference between womanhood and girlhood. it’s so annoying watching people constantly move the goalposts for trans women. nothing they do is ever enough for y’all
Just to set the record straight, I think "girl math" and "girl dinner" are both super stupid made up internet trends.
Math is math and dinner is dinner. Boys, girls, men, women and everyone in between all hopefully partake in both from time to time, am i right?
But boyhood, girlhood, manhood and womanhood are not stupid, made up trends on the internet, but instead are a very real part of life for every human of every gender-however different their experiences may be.
I do want to also say, that I don't condone the bullying of Dylan or any trans person or any human being at all for that matter. We're all pink and bloody and gross on the inside lol
But also in my own personal experience as a biological female (can't and won't speak for anyone else) there was in fact a massive difference between my girlhood and my womanhood. That's all I was getting at.
But yeah... Girl math? No thanks. Didn't even pass regular math. Just saying.
She's really been put through some terrible dog piling from the internet. Good for her to make a song. I wish her all the best.
i really feel for her! it seems like nothing she does is good enough for the internet. the song was supposed to be just a silly way for her to express her joy from transitioning and it got blown out of proportion imo
Please. He ain’t trans. He’s a whole actor and a bad one at that.
do you genuinely believe that Dylan would have undergone gender affirming surgeries and taken hormone replacement therapy if she wasn’t actually transgender?
would you say the same about me, a trans man? am i just a female who’s a “bad actor” and is making a poor attempt at being a man, despite undergoing surgeries and hormone therapy? or do you only feel that way about trans women, because you feel their existence threatens your ideas about what a woman is?
@@KMark2688💯💯💯💯
And I hope you get the right meds soon or at least visit a gay bar so that you can learn what a Twink is (Dylan's real identity).
Finally, someone agrees with me. I understand that some women are very sensitive about these stereotypes and they have the right to feel how they feel, but Dylan is still allowed to express herself even if people are offended. I’m a cis woman and I didn’t take it as mocking at all, even my most feminist friends enjoy embracing stereotypes sometimes.
My initial reaction was: its not that deep. The girl was obviously singing about a subset of her experiences during the "adolescent" stage of her transition; I think you have to intentionally misunderstand the song to believe that she meant to represent the entire spectrum of the feminine experience through one silly pop song. She is correct in asserting that reasonable people would not have the same reaction to a cis woman writing one girly-pop song about some fun experiences she had that she attributes to her experience of girlhood. I'm not gonna lie, I won't be adding the song to any playlists, but only because I just don't think its very good from a music standpoint. To me, the lyrics are painfully benign.
Ironically enough, focusing the backlash on her trans identity - rather than the quality of the music - has resulted in Dylan's detractors paradoxically imposing a crucial girlhood coming-of-age experience onto her: Constantly receiving critique and ridicule for not presenting herself to the world according to that particular critic's preferred version of femininity. As a guy who was once a pubescent girl getting berated for being too masculine, the treatment she is receiving is as close as you can get to a universal feminine experience. Every time someone points out her flaws and tells her she isn't a real woman, she just gains even more experience with being treated like an average woman.
you explained everything i was trying to convey in my video so well, thank you for this comment!! cis women are constantly moving the goalposts for transgender women and i think that has become PAINFULLY obvious for Dylan..her entire transition has been intensely scrutinised by the public, and there has always been some subset of people who said “it’s not enough” or “you’re not doing it right”. it really makes me feel for Dylan, as a trans person who’s also openly trans online (although to a much lesser degree), i know what it feels like and i genuinely do not know how she handles it!
Um .HE is NOT a SHE
@@krissy9553you thought you did something here krissy lmao
As a cis woman myself I think cis women should try to have thicker skin and be less offended. We know our experience, everyone has a slightly different experience. Dylan isn’t reducing the female experience. She made a goofy fun song, like Rebecca Blacks “Friday”. Do I like the song? No.
But that doesn’t matter.
The transphobia is so strong.
Trans women definitely understand the fear of violence.
Ugh. Cis women. Sit down!
You're part of the sick problem
I think people should get criticised for their actions and not for what they are
if you don’t like her music that’s fine but don’t make it about her gender identity!
@@aktdoahe's not a she no matter how many times you lie
& also i’m tired of women not being allowed to be offended or uncomfortable or else they’re “phobic” lol.
i don’t think every woman who’s critiquing Dylan’s song atm is transphobic. i think that the language they’re using borderlines on bigotry and misogyny, which makes it difficult to distinguish between the women who actually feel like they’ve been made a mockery of and the women who are genuinely just transphobic and want to exclude Dylan from the concept of “girlhood” simply because she’s a transgender woman. that is the point i tried to express in my video, but maybe you didn’t catch that while watching!
Yes, queen. They can live as a woman but they will never get what it is really like for us as it is literally impossible and i miss the days when the old school ones were real about it. *sighs*
Bella L
@@thelestrangelair exactly all we’re asking is to be respectful of our space. like in any situation it is understandable to tread lightly when your new to a space to see how things work etc. when you’re a new employee on a team you sit back & watch how things are run, you don’t step in & try calling shots, changing things & making new rules immediately. So i don’t understand why it’s deemed soo out line to point out by that trans women spend most of their life’s as men/males so they need respect & tread lightly when coming into a NEW space which is the FEMALE SPACE.
THIS
Yeah, I'm so tired of white people not being allowed to be offended or uncomfortable around black people or else they're """racist.""" Crazy world we live in 🙄 (this is what you sound like)
I am a woman, not ever gonna say Cis woman. And as a woman I don't like songs like wap or other songs even from women. Not okay, and not impowering for women to be like that to me at all, so no it would not be okay with me and should not if a woman did it. This song in question is insulting because the singer knows how people feel and continues the act, it is not living life it is continuing to annoy people. I agree that extremes are bad. No one wants trans people gone just because we don't want our sports and personal spaces taken over, please stop saying that as it is not true. We are all fine with old school transexuals who understand biology and work within it not trying to change reality. That's all, Please stop being dramatic.
that’s an interesting perspective to have! you don’t have to call yourself cis, it’s just a way to differentiate between people who are trans and people who aren’t. it’s unfortunate that you think transgender people are “being dramatic” when there’s plenty of instances nowadays of people actively calling for our eradication; instances of hate crimes, government policies that discriminate against trans people specifically, medical professionals refusing to treat us, and more. i understand that it’s hard to believe because you may believe that it’s not happening to you, but it will soon. some government officials have already begun stripping away the rights of women, including taking away access to abortion, birth control, the right to divorce, etc. i believe we should be banding together against the common evil instead of continuing to feed into the “them vs us” narrative that’s being pumped out.
no one is trying to change their reality, trans people are being themselves, stop calling them transexuals or whatever weird terms yo have up on your sleeves, they are as human as any of us!!
Absolutely man! 💯 Im so happy you shared this it would have otherwise gone over my head because I don't generally listen to pop music, but I think her song and video is adorable actually and very fun! I don't know much about her but from the apology video it seems a perfect fit with her sweet and happy girly style and personality.
It sounds to me like someone singing about a perfectly normal modern young womans experience and trying to enjoy life, the only references I can really find to being trans is mentioning solidarity with other girls and women which cis people generally don't give that many fucks about. she def gets it more than I ever will even though I grew up forced to be one. it's like someone telling me I don't know what it's like to be a guy cause I work and go to the gym? like i don't get what being a guy is like because I'm doing typical guy things or something 😂😂 i mean anyone of any gender, can do what they like she could also be going to the gym and still be feminine af I just mean like that's how absurd these particular people complaining sound cause this song and video are insanely normal fun girl vibes.
also sidenote, I forgot you were trans until you mentioned it. not really relevant to anything I just went "oh yeah it's true i forgot"
I was also wondering who the infamous Budweiser stuff was all about, so it's her? dang she seems super fun and cool and down to earth, that's great for a brand like wtf people are dumb as hell for freaking out about that.
anyway thanks for sharing this now I'm off to leave a nice comment on her video!
Well said, and I appreciate your point of view. As a cis woman, I totally agree. Dylan is entitled to her own experience and should be allowed to express herself however she feels. The reaction if a cis woman made this song would be completely different.
Just say that you're a women for god sake. I'm sure people could tell if you had an image on your Comment profile pic if you are in fact a straight chick. The slur, "Cis" is derogatory and was invented by an old German dude, really. SMH. How can you not tell that Dylan is a Twink. Do you even know what a Twink is? Have you ever been to a gay bar? Oh dear....
I don't think that the video is inherently bad and I don' think that Dylan meant any harm but she is adding to a bigger problem of the stereotyping of women. 'Girl math', 'Girl dinner' and all other trends that paint women as overly feminine, frivolous or stupid are reiterating these outdated ideals about women. Idk if this makes sense but yeah.
your comment makes sense but if trends like “girl math” and “girl dinner” were being made mainly by and for women, i would consider them something that seems more empowering than stereotyping? like they were silly trends, but those videos were a place for women to relate to one another’s experiences (before men co-opted the trend into their own versions). i think Dylan’s song was her own way of trying to relate her experiences as a trans woman to the experiences of cis women
There are a multitude of reasons as to why Dylan is or isn’t wrong for this, but one things for certain: She’s caught a lot of heat because of how she markets herself, and this song is only an extension of the gimmick that got her into trouble in the first place. I honestly don’t know why she hasn’t rebranded yet if it’s costing her so much, but I guess profits and clout are a higher priority than anything else.
Lot of people are making the argument that if this were written by a cis woman it wouldn’t be criticized to the same extent, and I agree with that statement. There’s a reason for that, but that conversation has already been had. However, I’d like to mention Kim Petra’s here…She’s a trans woman who built a music career off of sexually explicit/“degenerate” lyrics and imagery, often times encapsulating the bimbo aesthetic/subculture. Yet she isn’t met with overwhelming bigotry and vitriol like Dylan is & she’s had a lot of success. Cis women receive her very well. It all comes back to how she markets and presents herself!
i definitely have wondered before if Dylan would ever try to rebrand herself after her original “days of girlhood” series on Tiktok blew up, and sometimes it seems like her posts are edging in a different direction, but she ultimately circles back to the same aesthetic. i’ve never considered that it was her aesthetic itself that was the cause of the hate she received online, though
I honestly believe her song was based off her series that started her account :)
I 100% support Dylan's journey through WOMANhood. But girlhood is a journey that girls go through as children, that boys or men or trans women will never know. Just like women and girls and trans men will never know the journey of boyhood. It's the term girlhood that gets me more than anything. The song itself does nothing to offend me.
I also know that my opinion matters not.
the thing that cis people don’t understand is that our early transition IS our girl/boyhood. that is the time where we’re experiencing real life as the opposite gender for the first time, it’s our “adolescence”, our time to live out what cis people got to experience in their childhood. we just go through it at a later period.
@@aktdoaokay but question, are trans people REEEEAALLY experiencing life as the opposite gender or are they experiencing trans girl/boyhood (didn’t know how to phrase it)
Because growing up as a cisgender woman, I never felt the need to correct others about my pronouns, my mother taught me about periods, I was taught to be ashamed of my body, I was told to cover up when my ass started to come out and I needed to wear a bra when my breasts came in. The childhood wonder and joy I once experienced was taken from me, every time I hit a milestone in puberty. Suddenly the men and boys are looking at me differently. Boys are making fun of you for something that’s happening biologically. The girls sniff out your insecurities and call them out for public humiliation. The only surgery I have to look forward to is if I have a medical emergency.
Then there’s my perspective of transgender girlhood/boyhood (some of these examples are from people I know who transitioned): where you’re being told by strangers or your own family what you are, you’re correcting people your pronouns, being forced to wear clothes that don’t make you feel confident, people threatening you because you don’t fit their box, etc. Then your friends are looking at you differently because just a year or two ago you were Jessica/Frank and now you’re Joshua/Franny. Hopefully they’re supportive, if not, then I guess you dodged a bullet. And you have the option to alter your body.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is: trans people adolescence might be different compared to cisgender adolescence. There are some similarities but I don’t think we should go as far as to say “experience what cisgender got to experience in their adolescence.”
@@honeybawnches2016 You're saying as if you're trans, you're not so stop making assuptions!!
"if it had been a cis woman making this song then it would have been received different"
i agree, but i think this is due to gallows humor, i was marked as a second class citizen then second i was viewed in utero on an ultrasound screen. It's okay to say that, it's not transphobic. - a trans man.
i know what it's like to be seen as a man from my late teens to current day, but i'm never goin gto pretend to know what it's like to be a 5 year old boy or know what boyhood is like. That being said, the backlash against her is ridiculously overblown and straight hateful.
i’m not sure where gallows humor fits into this situation tbh, i wasn’t trying to be funny by making that point- there are many songs out by cis female artists that have similar themes, but were met with significantly less backlash than Dylan’s.
and as a trans man as well, i disagree with you - i think that trans people do experience boy/girlhood, just at a later phase in our lives, which is why Dylan made the song in the first place. she was celebrating her “adolescence”, her early days of transitioning, and the small joys she found in her newfound girlhood.
i also think there’s another argument to be made that trans people do experience some forms of girl/boyhood as children, speaking from my own childhood experiences, but maybe i’ll make a video about that another day lmao
I disagree and I think fighting among ourselves is what bad people want
As a trans women thank you for saying this and not being so mean Dylan did not having to apologize us trans men and women rock 🤩
The song is literally like a parody, gender identity theory is based on stereotypes and this song just proves that even more..
Dylan is a gay guy
Facts!!! (Is what I would say if I was delusional)
I think what people also forget is women can be misogynistic. If ANYONE sang something like this I'd be uncomfortable and a little bit taken aback. It's not just an pop-y early 2000s dance song, where the singer is usually objectified due to a misogynistic industry, producer, agent, etc via lyrics and a music video (a LOT of singers have come out to speak on this), this is a song that literally defines girlhood as things like retail therapy and taking MEDICATION? it is very anti-feminist, and guess what??? women can be anti-feminist too! I personally believe that if a cis woman wrote this, it would get backlash, but not to this extent, and I'm glad you talk about the nuance here. I think this is where reactionary content and Dylan Mulvaney's controversy (and popularity through it) come into play.
As a trans man I can empathize with her struggles and her "intent" (I often feel missed out on boyhood). but i see cis women especially standing up against this, and I'm here to be with them in this. I didn't really "experience girlhood", at least in the traditional sense (I came out pretty early in teen years). now as an adult I'm coping with not getting boyhood either and understanding that I cant truly understand a lot of what cis men growing up go through.i get it sort of, I can read books or listen or learn. I even relate to some aspects of it, as I did spent my tween/teen/early adult years as a trans guy. But I and im sure several trans people have to grapple with the fact that it'll always feel like we're looking through a window. I think Dylan Mulvaney might have this experience. Not sure if I'm correct to assume this.
i think your final point is correct in that Dylan possibly felt like for most of her life, she’s watched girlhood through a window that she felt she’d never break thru. but i also feel like the things Dylan said in her lyrics (to use your examples, retail therapy and taking medication specifically), she’s only talking about what girlhood is TO HER. in her apology video she states that the song is a personal statement on her early transition days and the joy she found in her newfound “girlhood”. i’m assuming, reflecting on my own experiences when i first started transitioning to male, she’s talking about buying new gender affirming clothes and makeup, and picking up/administering her HRT. so in a way, this song is Dylan’s way to “break thru” the window that used to hold her back from experiencing girlhood. she’s reclaiming it as her own now - it’s a very personal piece of media.
its a silly fun satirical song where shes talking ab her life in the ‘days of girlhood’ tiktok series documenting her early transition. she took her HRT on tuesdays she would crash on mondays before her dose. she shopped a lot. its ab her life in that time period. her days during ‘days of girlhood.’ i think her being trans is the ONLY reason this song is expected to be a take on ALL women and being a woman in its entirety and i think its so normalised to view it thru that lens that we don’t even realise how absurd it is that we are debating a woman’s right to sing about her life during her early transition..
i also think its relevant to state again the medication shes referring to is her HRT shots her oestrogen?? its a song about her early transition shes singing about part of her physical transition.
😊
yeah nah. i definitely understand why people are upset. Because it’s like, it’s not your experience to “joke” about yk? i’m black & it’s like if Rachel Dolezal (a white woman who claims to be black & calls herself “transracial”) was to make a song about “the days of being black” & immediately start singing about black stereotypes. yes it’s offensive because it shows that shes only going off of what she thinks being a girl is all about. yes it would be more digestible if a cis woman made the song because cis woman actually went thru “girlhood” & knows what it’s like to have these stereotypes so it’s ok if she’d want to make a silly song about it. Like dylan only been a “woman” for 2 secs😭 what does she really know about “girlhood”. Dylan has been a man for majority of his life so the same stereotypes she’s singing about never applied to her to begin with so to take that & “be silly” yes it’s giving mocking 🤷🏾♂️.
obviously as a white man i cannot comment on your argument about race, but i can see where you’re coming from with that analogy.
like i said in my video though, as a trans person i do sympathise with Dylan because i know what it’s like to experience girlhood (in my case boyhood) from the “wrong” side for most of my life. even though i was living as a female, i knew deep down i was male, and being forced to present one way when i felt a different way was traumatising at times.. Dylan was only using this song as a way to express how she experiences girlhood, she wasn’t trying to make a blanket statement about what girlhood is or generalise every woman’s experience to fit her definition (which she said in her apology video, it was meant to express the joy of her early transition).
Except skin color/race and gender are not comparable???? Do you seriously think those two things are even remotely similar to compare?? Obviously, if you were raised "as a boy" and lived as a young "man" you will not have the same socialization as someone raised "as a girl" etc etc etc but the fact of the matter is, "girlhood" or "womanhood" or whatever are not INHERENT THINGS to a human like our race and ethnicity is. What I mean by this is, I can adopt femininity and feminine codes in society and occupy the role of "woman", the way that society made it out to be, but someone cannot "occupy" another race or ethnic group/culture in the same way. So yeah, people being "offended" at an actual woman for making a fun silly UNSERIOUS song about being a woman?? Feels dumb, in my humbe opinion.
i can agree with you about this. i feel like concepts such as “girlhood” or “boyhood” are very dependent on an individual’s experiences, so even though there are some aspects of them that society deems as integral, it may not apply for one person or another.
Dylan is really just trying to express thru her lyrics how SHE experiences girlhood, and unfortunately imo, cis women are not understanding that and are assuming that Dylan is trying to make a blanket generalisation of what being a girl means.
@@fantastic.5357 and we’re allowed to have different opinions. you can’t tell people what to feel offended about, tbh it’s not that serious to me either but i think it’s valid to a certain extent, so to tell someone how they can feel about something it’s crazy.
this argument only works if u dont see transgender ppl as valid. and ur comparing them to transracial ppl which is nuts
His song!!! Can you like not disrespect women, by not calling him, what he is ...A MAN ...A man, who is mocking women... Why do you still care more about his feelings, than us women?????
Well, no subscription from me
hi Anna, i’m sorry to hear that you don’t see transgender women as the beautiful women they are, but i’m very glad to hear that you won’t be subscribing to me, as my channel is NOT a safe space for racism, misogyny, transphobia, or bigotry of any kind. you can take that shit elsewhere!
heal ❤
Agree, gay man in drag
Dylan is not a woman or transgender woman. Dylan is a gay man, who was too effeminate and was rejected by gay man and couldn't get famous any other way than wearing multiple skinsuits.
Yas queen. This is insulting.
Bella L
Going into this video I was thinking about all of the backlash that Dylan receives on a daily basis just for being herself and wanting to live her life as a 'girl'. In the beginning of all of this discourse, I took the stance of "She's trans, she's not going to understand everything about being a girl because she was assigned male at birth." And I did believe that she was perpetuating these stereotypes of being a 'girl'. Then when I took a step back from my own perspective of a cis woman and looked at it from the perspective of a trans woman who is finally being able to live her life as the person she was always meant to be; it made sense to me. Dylan is in a new era of her life; she is finally able to live as she wants to and that means living as a 'girl' when she originally was not able to do that because of her assigned gender at birth. She's able to find joy and humour in these little things that make her happy and that make up what girlhood is. Yes, there are stereotypes about being a girl that are in her lyrics and her videos, but they are not in a way that's trying to poke fun at girlhood. I think it's more about her getting to finally experience that.
And to the person who commented that she doesn't know how it feels to walk alone at night; that is ridiculously tone deaf. This young woman has gotten so much hate, death threats, backlash, and I think she had mentioned that she had to hide her location and lay low after her whole beer campaign. Dylan fully understands what it's like to be terrified as a woman and what's horrible about that is that some of it is coming from other women. Like Dylan said, I think people really need to see the humour and the fun that she is trying to experience and let her live her life. She is not hurting anyone and it's nobody's business what she wants to enjoy and how she wants to live her life.
Thank you, Dakota, for your response and for making me really think about how I see myself and how I see others. Kindness and acceptance is what Dylan needs and I hope she is able to see through all the hate. Much love to all you ❤
i really appreciate this comment, it’s like a breath of fresh air compared to some of the other takes people are leaving here 😅 thank you for your support, trans people need allies sticking up for us now more than ever
Just watched it. It's a silly fun song. Any woman hating on it are probably terfs.