My neighbor just asked me if I was pregnant and I had just miscarried after 16 weeks. Yeah, that was like a knife to my heart. You never know what others are going through. It’s important to respect peoples privacy.
im so sorry, that must've felt so horrible 😞 people really just shouldn't ask this, you just don't know the situation and its so invasive & just rude tbh
Even my mommy on her death bed said I'm finally skinny. Broke my heart! I've learned that our bodies are our souls home. That's all!! take care of u ladies U ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I had an aunt say that on her death bed. It took cancer but she lost that thirty pounds. How sad is it as women our dying wish is to be a skinny corpse. Sorry to hear about your mom I lost mine when I was five
Exactly I just posted a similar comment. Our bodies are the house to our soul. We need to love it and care for it- not abuse it ourselves based off of judgements and OPINIONS of others. If I was a teenager and saw this, I would be shocked...because ibwanted to be Baileys 'size' forever. (I'm very tall, and thin) the grass is not greener. Love the body you were born with and take care of it, so it will carry you through this life.
I remember when i was in the hospital with bad influenza and i lost like 15-20 pounds. When i went to work after that, people were like “Wow you look great!!” I’m like, Thanks, I almost died! 🙃
The same thing happened to me when I had the flu a couple years ago. I lost 15-20 pounds. Not going to lie when I started gaining a little back from eating normally again it gave me anxiety. It shouldn't have but sadly it did.
This is something that really helped get me out of my ED - the thought that if I got sick with flu, I probably wouldn't survive without hospitalisation
I lost like 35lbs from crippling depression I only ate enough to stay alive. My weight loss was rapid. Everyone was telling he how great I looked and asked me how I did it. I was so depressed food had no taste. I smothered everything with hot sauce just so I could feel something! Now when I see someone lose weight like that, I ask them if they’re ok before complimenting them at all. I’ll ask them if they did that on purpose or are they struggling. I never told anyone the reason I got so skinny. And now that I’m back to my previous weight I feel like a cow.
same here. Even now my metabolism is very high due to over active thyroid, due to damage caused by my severe eating disorders. Every time I get sick with flu, covid, ect I end up having to go on weight gain diet protocol til my weight returns back to previous weight before getting Sick. Ironic I know
Customers at my job ask me ALL the time if I'm expecting, and now I just smile and say "no, I just like food" very pleasantly. They always look mortified and now I just look forward to THEIR embarrassment.
I work at a bra and swimsuit shop, and it absolutely breaks my heart to see the number of beautiful women, of all shapes and sizes who are terrified of their own bodies. I see so many women, every single day, who look so excited with a bathing suit or a piece of lingerie and say they're scared to try it on because they need to lose weight. I genuinely hate seeing how diet culture has wrecked the self-esteem of so many beautiful women. To anyone reading, no matter what size, age, or how you looked in the past, you are gorgeous now.
@@bela-sofia34 I also am a LMT and I agree it’s so sad. Glamorization of Hollywood’s size 2 bodies has made such a horrific phenomenon of low self esteem. Self love of ones body no matter shape, color, size, health issues, flaws, or blemishes starts from within! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND LOVED! ❤️❤️❤️
As a Gen-Xer, in the 80’s when we were all teens, everyone I knew was bulemic or anorexic. No one thought being curvy was cool. It about killed us all.
Fellow gen-xer. Graduated mid 90's from high school and it was similar. They're were always the same faces in the bathroom between classes desperately trying to purge quietly so others didn't know exactly what they doing. We all knew, anyway.
@@marsoblivi0n945eating disorders are about so much more than what men like.. saying eating disorders are narcissistic is so misinformed, the reality is quite the opposite.
Yes! What you said! VERY PAINFUL. Especially when you've just lost your identical twin boys to miscarriage. You finally feel well enough to go outside of the house. Then the first person you see asks... "When are you expecting?" I couldn't even answer her, I just started bawling.
Honestly it's just sad if you sit back and watch how fast the Kardashians are just grabbing at sticks now. It so sad with all the money's done to them.
The most weight I ever lost was when I was an alcoholic. I was drinking to cope with the trauma that I just suffered and I went from a size 24 to size 12. The praise I got was encouraging me to drink more. I quit drinking when I found out I was pregnant and I gained 80% back. I'm happier and healthier now as I work on my PTSD properly.
I knew a girl with a history of anorexia who dropped lots of weight after a period of stress, and I was shocked to see how many of her friends were egging her on because she "looked so great and healthy". They KNEW her history! Unsurprisingly she was not losing weight in a healthy way, when she settled and got better she became plump again.
@@valkyrie2307 this comment is so unhelpful and presumptive. you are not her doctor, you know absolutely nothing about her health. people can be and are healthy at different sizes, depending on a multitude of things. if this person says she is happy and healthy, believe her. don't immediately doubt someone because you think being larger automatically equals being unhealthy. that's just flat out wrong.
Aww that's sweet! 😍 For real tho, *whoever* 😉 is bringing all these different artistic elements together for the video aesthetics really is serving what could legit be beautiful, richly colored fairytale book pages! Bailey does look like a princess sitting in her gorgeous lux tower 👑💅☺️
My mom recently passed away but when she did she was listening to you . I wanted to say thank you for soothing my mom in her last moments with your humor and darkness which she always loved . Thank you I appreciate it more than you know 🙏
'Treat your body as if it belonged to someone you love' ... best statement I ever heard as a Body Positive group co-facilitator... cause we always tend to have kindness and see the beauty in those we love, but have such a struggle with self-love.
This is something I have to work at doing every single day. I struggled many years from middle school through to my early-mid 20s with anorexia, and it has taken so much hard work to get to the healthier place I’m at today. I have a 5 yo daughter now and I make sure to never talk negatively about my body (or anyone’s bodies) in front of her. Whenever I find myself thinking bad things about my body I have to remind myself that I would never think those things of someone else.
As a person trying to recover from an eating disorder I have to say THANK YOU for bringing this topic up on your platform. More people need to know about diet culture.
A woman who is pregnant and wants to talk about her pregnancy will always bring it up first. There’s never a reason to ask a woman if she’s pregnant, if she is YOULL KNOW FOR SURE 😬
And if they don't know because she doesn't share then maybe she doesn't want to talk about with that person and they have to learn to be OK with that too ❤❤
I am still recovering from anorexia from when I was a teen in the 90's... I hit 46, and I am now, just now, accepting that I am built for comfort and luxury, not speed. I appreciate this episode very much!
Me too!! I was Born in 75 and am 46.. I was bulimic all through the 90’s and in the early 2000 I barely ate and exercised incessantly! Now I eat delicious food and allow myself to enjoy it and keep it down, love lounging around in comfort and adore my curvy body!!!☺️
@@West-rn-showvn-ist-chick well done on coming so far ❤ I had an ED most my teen life and in my early 20s too. Now I'm a total foody and learning to love myself more and more every day ❤ baby steps x
I had a very dear, sweet friend who never lost her "baby bump" after she had her daughter. It never ceased to amaze me how many people would ask her when she was due! (Despite me shaking my head VIGOROUSLY as soon as I realized what they were going to ask) NEVER assume things like that!!!! Btw, Bailey, you are enviously GORGEOUS!!!
I have always had a lower abdominal pooch that I had even at lower weights and am very self conscious about it bc it does make me look pregnant and I am always afraid someone will assume that
I think I told you this before but in case I didn't here it is again, The funniest thing I heard from a woman on one of those advertised diets. The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor and she was dead serious.
It is unfortunately true though. Think of the vegan that lives on oreos and french fries and is still slender. If you're eating unhealthy food, you will just be unhealthy. You can still be slim and unhealthy. Of course, when you start looking at ingredients, being mindful of not putting a lot of junk into your body, then you'll lose weight in a healthy way and will feel a lot better overall.
I lost my mother last year, she was in her early 70s. She had anorexia her entire life. She never came to terms with it or even admitted it. She was about 65 lbs when she died. Many of the things stated here were constantly apart of our lives. Smoking to lose weight, nothing but coffee instead of foisted. These things were happing in our family going back to great grandmas. Tapes worms included. Messed up
I know for sure that the focus on the way we look started generations ago in my family. We all still talk about it...I end up discussing looks with the women in my family even when I try not to. It's like we're caught on a treadmill we can't get off of.
I really wish I could turn back the hands of time and tell myself this when I was younger. I always struggled with my height, weight and breast size and people constantly talking behind my back. People can be so cruel, we need to be embracing and lifting up each other ❤️
Bailey! Sooo well done! I’ve had a long history with anorexia and bursts of bulimia (17 years). I’ve had more feeding tubes than I can count, picc lines, a port, was wheelchair bound, & at one point was urged to consider hospice as my life expectancy was about 4 months. You did amazing at avoiding triggers for those of us with this disorder and I cannot commend you enough on that as it’s easily done. Way to keep being our long distance best friend 😘 For the record, I’m about a year into a solid recovery and going strong 💪
She's just getting her glow back because she went through a hard patch. I'm so glad to see her looking happy again and people are ruining that. Y'all are personal af, even if someone is pregnant, until they decide to announce it it's nobody's business.
@@ashleeketner4408 sorry I misspoke. I somehow thought Bailey and Fernando were married. But they did split back in January and she took quite a few weeks off to have some self-healing . So not divorced but a heartbreak up.
@@cierrabradley2839 I'm so sad to hear that :( they seemed so into eachother. Thanks for explaining ... I thought I missed something in the video which 3 kids home with me so I constantly have to pause videos of I'm watching so it's entirely possible lol
Eating disorder Dietitian here (who is in ED recovery too). PREACH it queen! The amount of damage diet culture does is unbelievable!! One helpful thing- if "body love" feels out of reach right now- look up "Body Neutrality". Much more doable for those struggling!!! Don't give up- these struggles don't have to be forever!! ❤❤
I was recently bulimic and I am currently recovering, but for this past week, I have been eating lots of fruits, vegetables, and meat. And eating grain with only a meal. I feel great and I feel full all the time. I have actually calmed down on binging.
I could talk about this for hours as a Dietitian. Diet culture is a whole mess. Glad you were able to cover some of the topic and bring attention to it.
Glad to see a dietitian who knows what they're talking about! I've talked to a few who had the most messed up views on dieting and working out, which discouraged me from working with one. Wish someone like you was in my city!
@@courtneymsx when I was in school for dietetics, I found out we got some of our materials from a huge dairy company, and I had to go to a medical symposium at a hospital that was funded by multiple dairy and food corporations. Was a bit disillusioning
@@heartdragon2386 That's absolutely disgusting and a betrayal on the part of your educational facility which YOU PAID FOR YOUR EDUCATION FROM but which was obviously taking bribes on the side as well.
@@rayajayce2034 unfortunately, it seems to be the way many schools teach nutrition. One of my classes actually spent a day at a dairy. I didn't go as I had a sick kid. I do know that after they were all citing info they got from them. One of which was easily frozen false.
This episode hit close to home. I’ve dealt with anorexia for 20ish years. I’m in remission but it is still something I deal with on the daily. Thank you Bailey for talking about diets and eating disorders. Love you girl
Much love to you. I was "actively" bulimic for about 6-7 years, but my relationship with food and my body has been toxic for almost my entire adult life. The struggle is real. xo
Ladies me too, over twenty years on and off, more on I'm sad to say. In recovery at the moment. The hardest part is getting help and all this because we're led to believe we're not enough (or there is more of us than is acceptable for the timeframe we are in)
Thank you for this. I am a therapist who works with several women who struggle with body acceptance. I’m going to add this video to a list of fun resources to share to gain some insight into ever evolving beauty standards. You are the best!
I really enjoy your videos, and I'd like to point out that at 23:39 Lagos, Nairobi, and Accra are all cities in Nigeria, Kenya, and Ghana respectively. I understand it was probably a typo to call them countries. I adore the diverse perspective your consistently high quality videos have and I see all of the hard work you and your team put in!
I have a lot of stomach problems and am often bloated. Right before the problems put me in the hospital, women were asking me if I was pregnant. Mind ya own uteruses.
My mom was a swimsuit model in the 90s and Early 2000s and did lots of swimsuit pageants… she’s almost 50 now and still struggles with anorexia 😞 thank you Bailey for bringing light to all of the major issues women experience and cultures experience❤️
Bailey, I binge watched you over and over while pregnant and on maternity leave in late 2020. Now my son get super excited whenever he hears your voice! He's not much of a talker, but boy does he talk to you! It's the most adorable thing! 😍
commenting on anyone’s weight whether it be gained or loss, I feel can be very damaging to one’s mindset. You never know what that person is going through
Y’all this makes me so sad A few years ago I went on ancestry and found out my grandma had a sister who died when she was 23 years old I asked her what happened to her and she told me she became obsessed with loosing weight and essentially starved herself she told me she did reach her goal of being thin but shortly died because she became so sick Made me real sad because I’ve struggled with my weight always but after learning about this I’ve become so much nicer to myself ❤️
I've lost 3 friends to their eating disorders and have many others who have and still struggle. Diet culture is so much more serious, dangerous, manipulative, and evil than people think. Thank you for this.
Even as a 4’11” 90lb teenager, I knew that many of the diet/exercise books & plans (Jane Fonda, etc) were out out by what appeared to be tall/naturally thin women. Now a 58 year-old 5’1” 135lb woman I still feel the same.
A person's diet is simply what they eat. With balance and awareness and allowing yourself grace and love you will achieve the perfect diet for you both mentally and physically. It's not about weight or size or body shape, it's about what makes you feel happy and healthy. I wish we could reclaim the word diet for what it originally meant
My Granny and her sister used to smoke cigarettes and roll eachother like a log across the living room floor to loose weight. This was in the 1940's. She told me it was the dumbest thing she ever did! 😂
I had a guy working at a gas station mistake me for being pregnant before. In his defense I was wearing a coat that is cut similar to a maternity coat; sort of like a cape, but the material was bulky in the front. I was buying something to drink and decided to add a chocolate bar while making the comment "I really shouldn't but it's been a long day." And the guy said, "No worries, you're eating for two!"... 🤣🤣... Then his face dropped when he realized he made a mistake. Poor kid. I wasn't offended, but I did stop wearing that coat! 😂
The Karen Carpenter story did more than anything to advance Eating Disorder awareness. Karen was a beautiful young woman and incredibly talented singer who struggled with both Anorexia Nervosa and laxative abuse. She started abusing thyroid meds to speed her metabolism. By February, 1983, she was beginning recovery, and gaining weight. Unfortunately, the damage she had done to her body was too much and she passed the same month from cardiac complications at 32yo. Her death shocked the world and lead to dramatically increased awareness about Eating Disorders.
It's so sad, I'm sure, for us. For her, I hope this was the best of all possible ways to go. She was recovering well. She was beginning a great relationship. I hope she was happy. :'(
as someone who was a white female tween in the ‘60s, nothing hit my radar except *TWIGGY* - the weird diets i tried to attain her shape were legion, and i was not a chubby girl. fortunately, i was raised on a working farm, in a 3 generation setting. that meant i lived full time with my grandparents, who’d both experienced the great depression as adults, and my parents, who went through it as children. kinda hard to stay on a bizarre “twiggy” diet when your grandma is watching you eat lol! the only other time i tried a fad diet or three was in college - always w my gal pals, and never for longer than two or three days. i’m a vegan now, because i think that’s healthier, but i don’t believe in any type of food restriction.
I was a model as a child into my teen years. My agency actually provided lists of things we could eat that wasn’t food. Writing paper was the number 1 on the list.
I put myself on my first diet at 12 years old. I had one of those mini black and white marble notebooks and would only allow myself to eat between 500-1000 calories a day. Then my dad had me on the treadmill and i was only allowed to eat strawberries and egg whites because I was a size 6. I’m 34 now and still working on fixing my relationship with food. Diet culture is TOXIC.
Lady, unless you are a Williams sister, your dad should not be involved in your weight loss or even looking at your body critically. Does this still happen?
@@anncrane1097 well I went no contact about 6 months ago. And I got married and moved out of the house at 22 to get away from him. He always had something to say.
I struggle with bulimia and having an eating disorder is hard, people can be so nasty. I'm so sorry that somebody even asked that, first off you're here on a platform to share something that you love, that doesn't mean that every aspect of your life is something that should be expected to be shared and if you're glowing. Maybe it's just because you're happy.
I hope your ed is getting better. I know the struggles of having and eating disorder all to well. It's a toxic cycle and nothing is ever enough. I wish you the best.
I have anorexia and i have been struggling with it for so long, and i agree with everything your saying and i hope the best for you and for you to recover, you got this beautiful 😊
This episode is highly appreciated 🤍 I was sexually abused at 18 (I'm 29 now) and I'll never forget my abuser saying " you need to loose weight", right after the disgusting act he put me through. My weight haunted me for years... I couldn't be too thin because then he'd want to do it again, but if I stopped taking care of myself, I felt like noone would ever even set eyes on me again because I wasn't "worth it"
Aww baby im sorry to hear but i hope you’re way better now beautiful. Remember it’s your body and your body only now nobody has control over it so take care of it your body will thank you with health and energy.
I was struggling with my ed relapse lately and honestly this video helped me a bit so thank you, it’s so hard to recover when society still thinks diet equals health and talked about it all the time, it’s so exhausting to hearing. I’m so tired
Jesus, I just wanna be her bestie... I absolutely love this girl so much. Bailey, if you see this, you are so dope and I truly appreciate your presence on this planet 🙌!
This one hit different. It's crazy how the personal image of ourselves can be so easily persuaded by unrealistic advertisements of women who aren't even necessarily healthy. Just woe.
I love this episode SO MUCH. I’m a firm believer in not commenting on other’s bodies, negatively or positively. You never know people’s internal struggles. I’m sick of my value being based on my weight. This video means a lot to me thank you Bailey.
right. unless someone is purposely showing their body off like in progress pictures or something of that nature, there is never a need to comment on anyones body
yes! I've had friends who've told me that during the midst of eating disorders, they were complimented on their slimness while they were literally underweight, and that encouraged them to starve themselves more
The part about Izzy not wanting to be one of the “sad/bad” stories I identified with. I used to be severely depressed and had SI as a teen. I just didn’t want to be part of that statistic so I got through it, got some tattoos to remind myself of the decision and now I’m an experienced ER nurse who works on a team saving lives. My career makes it worth it and being able to help save someone always reminds me of how different things almost were.
My mom is a early gen x, and give me the worst ED of my life when i turn 14 because i stop looking skinnie and star to look like her, she hate hearing people that i look like her, i still recovering for my ed. Parents please avoid this situation on your kids and teaching them how to have a healthy and happy life ❤
The whole idea of eating disorders being a "teenage girl" thing is so ridiculous. One of my mama's close friends died from anorexia about 2 years ago, she was in her 50s. And so many people think anorexia and bulimia are the only EDs to exist, AND that puking is the only form of bulimia purging which is simply not true?? I've lost a couple of friends to their eating disorders. On a slightly happier note though, my best friend started her treatment for her anorexia this week and I'm so proud of her.
Takes 10 minutes working in an office to realise that nearly every single woman in there has at the very least disordered thinking regarding food. So hard when you have an ED to deal with it.
i started realizing i was above “average weight” when i was about 6-7. this began when i was playing tag in church and a kid that was maybe a year or two younger than me tagged me and said “the pregnant lady is it!” i stopped playing after that. i haven’t really ran in front of people since. and i know this is not this little boys fault (he didn’t know better) but that’s how it started
@@valkyrie2307 unfortunately "sticks and stones" isn't true. Words hurt and can cut like a knife. The difference is, wounds heal, but words can be much harder to move on from.
This is my first video I’ve watched of yours, 1) you’re so funny, warm, inviting, and genuine, you are a very comforting energy. 2) amazing topic, well researched, very thoughtful and thorough. 3) I love the aesthetic of the background and your look, you’re GORGEOUS
Adam Wright is a nutrition & fitness influencer I adore who exposes the toxicity of diet culture, fads, and even reacts to other influencers' "what I eat in a day" videos and comments on how healthy or unhealthy (restricting) they are. Adam himself has struggled with an eating disorder and strives to spead awareness on the topic.
I needed this today. I actually cried because I've been depressed and have been using food for a crutch. Due to this I have put on quite a bit of weight. Seriously you're a mind reader! Love you Bailey! ❤
So I got an eating disorder at 14 and I wouldn’t eat more than 1200 calories a day because that’s what I had heard. The fact that her book is negatively effecting people 100 years later is nuts.
People always tell me how skinny I am and I always smile and say thankyou but on the inside I know that half the reason I look the way I do is cause I go through bouts of not eating when I get really depressed.
I have been following Bailey since day dot and it fills my heart with pure fu*kin' joy to see how many subscribers and views she has now! Happy for you queen!
I have an ED that to this day effects most aspects of my life. I got put on a medication that made me gain 50 lbs in a short amount of time. I went out for the first time in a while. I got lunch with a friend at Taco Bell (didn’t even realize Bailey made a Taco Bell comment 🤣) and a random guy asked me how my pregnancy was going. I couldn’t even respond, I was just shocked someone felt the need to assume and then actually voice that to me. It was the first comment I’ve ever got when I gained all that weight. I threw away the food I planned on taking home. Moral of the story; stop commenting on strangers bodies. You have no idea how hurtful it is to some people.
This is such an important subject. I feel so affected by this difficulty of accepting myself the way I’m. I used to be skinny, but I got a lot of weight in the last couple of years, and I struggled with it every day. I eat normal meals, but I always feel bad after eating. I feel like I don’t have value and I’m lazy. I’ve avoided going to my home country to visit my family and friends because I don’t want them to see me like that. Watching this video made me aware of the toxicity we are exposed to every day. Thank you, Bailey
Thank you for doing this video Bailey. This brought a lot of stuff up for me (which I didn't expect), but the positive is that it stopped me before I spiralled - it's so easy to fall into the hole again even if you have managed to climb out many times. I admire you, keep being you! ❣️
I also struggled with body dysmorphia and an editing disorder but I thankful recovered and I now don't feel guilty about what I eat nor do I think about food all the time. It is possible to recover for anybody that still struggles with these types of things!!! Remember that you are not alone and that there are people that want to help you get better ☺.
Also, we all think (or at least I did for a long time) that "dieting" was to be skinnier BUT in the 40s and 50s there were ads saying "Tired of looking sickly in your bathing suit? Try this powder nutrition to become more voluptuous!" Or "Harry doesn't want a stick figure! He wants a woman with substance." Blah blah blah but there were lots of companies selling these things to make woman bigger to be sexier...... It's so bizarre to me.
And yet what they were aspiring towards as an end goal wasn't natural distribution for most people, it was a body shape that was still Kardashian-esque in its impossibly. Marilyn Monroe's body measurements, taken directly from her clothes, were 36-24-34, with her waist going up to 28.5 from what she was wearing at her visual largest. On one hand we're more oversaturated with the imagery now, on the other there's more media coverage of how fake it all is now too.
Until the twentieth century curves were considered sexier. And in some cultures bigger means wealth therefore the heavier a person is the richer they are perceived. And like the old saying. A man wants a little cushion for the pushing.
I just always remember reading those magazines, then going to the bathroom, grabbing my stomach and just wishing I could cut it off. My weight is stress and hormone based, and I’ve tried incredibly hard- and even to my detriment (ie- bulimia and anorexia). At this point my weight is my weight- I can only work out and keep watching my food.
@@Rememberriseagainst If you are on a T4 only medicine it will be hard to lose weight. T3 is the hormone that actually fuels your metabolism but doctors don't prescribe it as standard.
Sorry about the pregnancy questions girl, I had a guy ask me to my face when I was 20 working as a barista. The counter was just under my belly… I had gained a little weight but was still thin. He asked me if I was pregnant, said he noticed I put on a little weight… I don’t even remember the response I just remember running to the back and crying. Lol
And what is bizarre is that he probably was trying to tell you that he had been interested in you. I've had things like this--I was thin and my bosses said I shouldn't lose any more weight unless I was going for a skeletal socialite look...and it was at this point that a guy I was dating who had been married to a flight attendant from Sri Lanka said that I would be "perfect" if I'd just loose 10-15 pounds. Really, people should leave us alone!
trust me.. i’m telling you this now, when men say stuff like that, they actually mean it. many men insult women to put themselves above women.. it’s quite disgusting how manipulation and narcissism is normalized for men.
Baily’s body is my favorite type! I genuinely love hers and I think many people would agree that hers is GORGEOUS and is the one I would love! She’s naturally stunning and she should know that! Baily your body is literally the idol of feminine, and it’s purely beautiful. Love your content and your look! ❤️❤️❤️
I had an eating disorder throughout middle and high school. I have been “recovered” for a decade but still struggle with body image and those disordered thoughts that creep up on me. I just want anyone out there struggling to know they’re not alone and you can do it. I’m always here if anyone needs to chat. Love this episode!
I’m right there with you… I used to starve myself when I was a teenager (food was one of those things I could control) and I still struggle heavily with being comfortable with eating properly (I also forget to eat sometimes because of my ADHD and hyper focus) … I’ve pretty much caused a few health problems for myself now as an adult.
I never write comments, but I felt I had to on this one. I'm in recovery from eating disorders and I was so worried about watching this video in case it triggered a relapse. But then I thought, "this is a Dark History/Bailey video, I know it'll be safe" and it was. Thank you for being so honest, transparent and tactful with the video and all the others you've done ❤️
Late to the game on this one but THANK YOU for mentioning NEDA in your video. My cousin passed away from an eating disorder a couple years ago and they were amazing in spreading awareness to our family and friends.
I sick of both toxic diet culture and toxic body positivity culture. It’s like no one knows what moderation means and takes thing to extremes. It’s crazy. Being happy in our own skin and being healthy is the name of the game, in my opinion.
This one really got me emotional. I’ve struggled with my body image since puberty. I still remember every cruel word uttered to me about my body. Every single day I look at myself and feel ashamed. I try to eat healthy, I don’t deny myself food i really want, I could exercise more but I have EDS which makes my joints unstable, so it’s difficult. If I could just be neutral about my body I’d be happy.
Something that helps me a lot is to remind myself how I would talk to or treat someone about their body. Like if I were to meet someone whose body looked exactly like mine, I know for a fact I wouldn’t be mean to them or think bad things about them the way I do about myself. You deserve love from yourself, if that makes sense. ❤️
I hope you can get the help that you need. There is no shame in seeking professional help in order to become a freer version of yourself. I pray you become free.
Oh man I agree! The health problems these guys still deal with is crazy and in some instances it actually carried through to their future generations. This hits home in our family and it's heartbreaking.
My favourite episode yet! Thank you so much for being entertaining, educating and serious. Thank you for all that you do. PS. I am really enjoying that you don’t have to bleep anymore. I enjoy your enthusiastic swearing enormously.
My sis was just complaining to me about this yesterday! How come she doesn't have her post baby body back.. I said "ok 1st off, you're comparing yourself to these ppl with $ who have housekeepers, nannies, and personal chefs....who have the 8 hours a day to work out. Just stop. Lol" Going to watch now! 💙
I can’t believe we still live in a society where people don’t know that you should never ask a woman if they’re pregnant(probably the same people who go up to women and touch their baby bump) we gotta do better y’all.
yooooo as a dude i would absolutely never assume that lol my ma dukes taught me better than that lol...n the simple fact im extremily scared to be wrong lol....and yea ive never understood that lemme feel up on ur belly thing....such a invasion of someones personal space...
Bailey! My friend recently introduced me to your channel and I’ve been bingeing all your content and THIS by far is my favorite episode. You’re so sincere and it shows. I love how you took a sensitive comment and turned it into a learning experience for all of us. Keep rockin on girlie!
it breaks my heart that you can tell she’s hurting but she smiles and puts out content anyways. remember that you are loved bailey. not just by blood family, but your internet family too❤️.
What’s crazy is that every person requires different food needs. Some need lowers carb diets with higher levels of proteins. It’s all about knowing what your body needs and loving the skin you’re in. It’s hard sometimes though.
I JUST wrote an entire research paper on diet culture and the problems surrounding it. Watching this video was so awesome to see a big creator talk about it! Thank you Bailey, love you so much!!
My late husband had a tapeworm when he was 10, he was in the hospital for a week. He was a chef and always insisted on cooking all meats until completely done. No rare or medium rare meat!
Interesting. My husband's parents, etc etc etc are all doctors. They only eat their meat well-done. Well, except for the cardiologist and his oncologist wife--they are vegetarians. I'm like "give it to me medium rare and where's the salt?"
As a girl that’s always struggled with self image, I cannot emphasize how awesome it is that you covered this topic! It’s crazy how society has all these views and how much of an impact it can cause on everyone. I personally can’t do Instagram because I feel like that’s the main focus or maybe I just can’t fully connect so I just avoid it, I’m sorry people were making comments to you, people are so dumb and don’t realize how much you can hurt someone’s feelings 🤦🏻♀️
100% agree with you. I've had instagram for 10 years, when it was first coming up, and I deleted it a year ago. I will never go back. The IMAGE that people project, even myself, has really made me question society. As well as made me question: what is important to me?
My niece did this to herself thinking she could win back her husband's attentions. She ended up in the hospital because she refused to eat. When they threatened a feeding tube she finally started eating. She has since gotten divorced.
60 yo woman who has recently had weight loss surgery after years of destroying my body with all these diets. I had no idea that all that dieting over the years could do so much damage. I am still undergoing psychological treatment and need to keep that up in the short term. I’m the smallest I have been since I was 18. I feel so much healthier all over.
Hi Nana I have been contimplaing weight loss surger for the same reaosns..I have heard different things, but glad it has made you feel bette..it is a drastic decision, but oine I am willing to take to get healthier once & for all...hopeful it will help and will have long lasting effects:)
@@lisazucker5379I was recommended to think about it by my Rheumatologist. I was going to end up in a wheelchair or bed bound if I didn’t do something drastic.
That’s because iced creams and ices in storefront shops started to become popular at the turn of the last century. So the Gibson Girl ice cream parlor at Disney is decorated in the Belle Époque style that was popular at the time, and has framed images of famous Gibson Girls on the walls. From what I’ve seen, Gibson Girls are the beginning of that idea of the ideal feminine aesthetic but can eat whatever rich and aesthetic foods they want. But the Gibson Girl is also the beginning of beauty standards idolizing adolescent beauty as famously Gibson’s first model was Evelyn Nesbit, who was in her mid-late teens. Her life was a tragedy.
One of the biggest obstacles to recovering from anorexia or bulimia is that a person can’t escape one of the issues, which is food. People recovering from substance abuse problems don’t use those substances but people recovering from eating disorders must still eat. It makes the problem especially hard to get over.
I had an ex tell me he didn’t like my hips because they looked too motherly. No surprise he watched a lot of CP. But I starved myself for 6 months trying to lose my hips. I got crazy thin, but my hips stayed. It was just my bone structure. I’m sick of how our bodies are constantly ridiculed!!!
The crazy thing with your story is I have lived my life with the opposite. I got a “boy” figure. 42’ 32’ 36’ yes no typo lol….. every inch off my waist 2’ falls off my hips. The fact that I naturally birthed 4 children, statistically I shouldn’t have been able to. Society is STUCK on our physical frames and appearance. One day the majority collective will get that it’s our energy and soul that defines us( for lack of a better word)
Never ask a woman if she is pregnant! If she is glowing, say she is glowing. It's way too personal, complicated and invasive.
Yeah EXACTLY!!
Once. 👏🏻 More. 👏🏻 For. 👏🏻 The. 👏🏻Folks. 👏🏻 In. 👏🏻 The. 👏🏻 Back. 👏🏻
Agreed. Or ask when are they going to have kids. Both questions are equally personal and invasive IMO. 😒
@@mitchellfrench6314 Are you 5? Hilarious 🤣😒🖕
@@mitchellfrench6314 are you????
My neighbor just asked me if I was pregnant and I had just miscarried after 16 weeks. Yeah, that was like a knife to my heart. You never know what others are going through. It’s important to respect peoples privacy.
im so sorry, that must've felt so horrible 😞 people really just shouldn't ask this, you just don't know the situation and its so invasive & just rude tbh
Sending my love 🌈
I’m so sorry for your loss, keep your head up beautiful ❤️🤞🏻
I'm so sorry for your loss.
They probably didn't know that, give them a freaking break.
Even my mommy on her death bed said I'm finally skinny. Broke my heart! I've learned that our bodies are our souls home. That's all!! take care of u ladies U ALL ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!
I had an aunt say that on her death bed. It took cancer but she lost that thirty pounds. How sad is it as women our dying wish is to be a skinny corpse. Sorry to hear about your mom I lost mine when I was five
Exactly I just posted a similar comment. Our bodies are the house to our soul. We need to love it and care for it- not abuse it ourselves based off of judgements and OPINIONS of others. If I was a teenager and saw this, I would be shocked...because ibwanted to be Baileys 'size' forever. (I'm very tall, and thin) the grass is not greener. Love the body you were born with and take care of it, so it will carry you through this life.
That breaks my ❤
Disturbing to say the least
That's sad and messed up :(
I remember when i was in the hospital with bad influenza and i lost like 15-20 pounds. When i went to work after that, people were like “Wow you look great!!”
I’m like, Thanks, I almost died! 🙃
😂😂😂
The same thing happened to me when I had the flu a couple years ago. I lost 15-20 pounds. Not going to lie when I started gaining a little back from eating normally again it gave me anxiety. It shouldn't have but sadly it did.
This is something that really helped get me out of my ED - the thought that if I got sick with flu, I probably wouldn't survive without hospitalisation
I lost like 35lbs from crippling depression I only ate enough to stay alive. My weight loss was rapid. Everyone was telling he how great I looked and asked me how I did it. I was so depressed food had no taste. I smothered everything with hot sauce just so I could feel something! Now when I see someone lose weight like that, I ask them if they’re ok before complimenting them at all. I’ll ask them if they did that on purpose or are they struggling. I never told anyone the reason I got so skinny. And now that I’m back to my previous weight I feel like a cow.
same here. Even now my metabolism is very high due to over active thyroid, due to damage caused by my severe eating disorders. Every time I get sick with flu, covid, ect I end up having to go on weight gain diet protocol til my weight returns back to previous weight before getting Sick. Ironic I know
Customers at my job ask me ALL the time if I'm expecting, and now I just smile and say "no, I just like food" very pleasantly. They always look mortified and now I just look forward to THEIR embarrassment.
Love this lol
Well played!!!!!
LOVE that!
When people ask me that, I say "Why? What do you mean?" Make them elaborate. Usually shuts em up.
@@maddiekain7728 they're not trying to be rude like you are... Your belly just looks big
I work at a bra and swimsuit shop, and it absolutely breaks my heart to see the number of beautiful women, of all shapes and sizes who are terrified of their own bodies. I see so many women, every single day, who look so excited with a bathing suit or a piece of lingerie and say they're scared to try it on because they need to lose weight. I genuinely hate seeing how diet culture has wrecked the self-esteem of so many beautiful women. To anyone reading, no matter what size, age, or how you looked in the past, you are gorgeous now.
❤️
As a therapeutic massage practitioner I experienced the same thing on an entirely different level.
true when i had my ED i was never thin enough, even when i was a size 4 it was still not enough, these poor girls are sick/insecure
Idk why, but I teared up reading this. Any shape, size is beautiful.
@@bela-sofia34 I also am a LMT and I agree it’s so sad. Glamorization of Hollywood’s size 2 bodies has made such a horrific phenomenon of low self esteem. Self love of ones body no matter shape, color, size, health issues, flaws, or blemishes starts from within! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND LOVED! ❤️❤️❤️
My mom did the grapefruit diet. She lost weight, but became a different person. Always short tempered. Because she was starving.
I have the same experience as your mom. Especially with Atkins diet. I was so angry and mean all the time! 😢
@@ladyagresaBecause our bodies need carbs.
@@melindaroop1346 Ehm... I thought it was obvious that I'm here hating Atkins.
@@ladyagresa they were explaining why she was angry.
As a Gen-Xer, in the 80’s when we were all teens, everyone I knew was bulemic or anorexic. No one thought being curvy was cool. It about killed us all.
Early 90’s as well. More than half my friend group purged.
Yes!
Fellow gen-xer. Graduated mid 90's from high school and it was similar. They're were always the same faces in the bathroom between classes desperately trying to purge quietly so others didn't know exactly what they doing. We all knew, anyway.
Not everyone. Just superficial narcissists usually..men have always liked curves.
@@marsoblivi0n945eating disorders are about so much more than what men like.. saying eating disorders are narcissistic is so misinformed, the reality is quite the opposite.
Can people stop randomly asking women if they're pregnant? It's literally never okay to ask this. It could be a very painful question for some.
Yes! What you said! VERY PAINFUL. Especially when you've just lost your identical twin boys to miscarriage. You finally feel well enough to go outside of the house. Then the first person you see asks... "When are you expecting?" I couldn't even answer her, I just started bawling.
@@greatobserver4072 I'm sorry for your loss. ❤ fwiw from a stranger.
@@C-SD Thank you.
People do this to celebrity women especially all the time. Like it's so weird.... Like who tf asks that. Is it your business??
Any questions about people's bodies should be off limits. You never know what someone is struggling with.
Kim Kardashian: "I lost 20lbs to fit in this dress!"
Bailey Sarian: "Let's talk about toxic diet culture"👑
She had no place in that beautiful piece of history
In a world full of Kardashian's be a Sarian OK, I need a T-Shirt Bailey, we need shirts!
Honestly it's just sad if you sit back and watch how fast the Kardashians are just grabbing at sticks now. It so sad with all the money's done to them.
It still didn't work .she couldn't even zip it ,it was not made for her .
It felt so disrespectful. Like WHO ARE YOU KIM. The amount of ego to put that dress on that didn’t even fit.
The most weight I ever lost was when I was an alcoholic. I was drinking to cope with the trauma that I just suffered and I went from a size 24 to size 12. The praise I got was encouraging me to drink more. I quit drinking when I found out I was pregnant and I gained 80% back. I'm happier and healthier now as I work on my PTSD properly.
Really happy for you 🥰
Sorry for what you went through, i hope everything is okay now
Please don't trade one addiction (alcohol) for another (food). Both are equally as dangerous.
I knew a girl with a history of anorexia who dropped lots of weight after a period of stress, and I was shocked to see how many of her friends were egging her on because she "looked so great and healthy". They KNEW her history! Unsurprisingly she was not losing weight in a healthy way, when she settled and got better she became plump again.
@@valkyrie2307 this comment is so unhelpful and presumptive. you are not her doctor, you know absolutely nothing about her health. people can be and are healthy at different sizes, depending on a multitude of things. if this person says she is happy and healthy, believe her. don't immediately doubt someone because you think being larger automatically equals being unhealthy. that's just flat out wrong.
@@avar.3768 You can't be obese and healthy, be serious. "Health at every size" is not true
My daughter looked over my shoulder, pointed at you and goes "LOOK, A PRINCESS".
adorable 🥰
Aww!! What a sweetheart💖🌹
How sweet!
Her set up makes her look like jasmine!
Aww that's sweet! 😍
For real tho, *whoever* 😉 is bringing all these different artistic elements together for the video aesthetics really is serving what could legit be beautiful, richly colored fairytale book pages! Bailey does look like a princess sitting in her gorgeous lux tower 👑💅☺️
My mom recently passed away but when she did she was listening to you . I wanted to say thank you for soothing my mom in her last moments with your humor and darkness which she always loved . Thank you I appreciate it more than you know 🙏
What a beautiful thing to share. I hope you are doing well
Thats nice. I’m sorry for your loss, My mom died 11 years ago yesterday.
So sorry to read the passing of your Mom. Glad she still had a sense of humor to the end. It sounds like she was great. 💜
My condolences to you...may she rest in spirit
May she rest in paradise.. my sincere condolences
'Treat your body as if it belonged to someone you love' ... best statement I ever heard as a Body Positive group co-facilitator... cause we always tend to have kindness and see the beauty in those we love, but have such a struggle with self-love.
This just hit me so hard… its so true
💖
Our sad reality. I need to do better!💕
This is something I have to work at doing every single day. I struggled many years from middle school through to my early-mid 20s with anorexia, and it has taken so much hard work to get to the healthier place I’m at today. I have a 5 yo daughter now and I make sure to never talk negatively about my body (or anyone’s bodies) in front of her. Whenever I find myself thinking bad things about my body I have to remind myself that I would never think those things of someone else.
@@ohyesitsjackies power to you 💖
As a person trying to recover from an eating disorder I have to say THANK YOU for bringing this topic up on your platform. More people need to know about diet culture.
A woman who is pregnant and wants to talk about her pregnancy will always bring it up first. There’s never a reason to ask a woman if she’s pregnant, if she is YOULL KNOW FOR SURE 😬
And if they don't know because she doesn't share then maybe she doesn't want to talk about with that person and they have to learn to be OK with that too ❤❤
I am still recovering from anorexia from when I was a teen in the 90's... I hit 46, and I am now, just now, accepting that I am built for comfort and luxury, not speed. I appreciate this episode very much!
❤️
I love this so much 💖💖💖
Me too!! I was Born in 75 and am 46.. I was bulimic all through the 90’s and in the early 2000 I barely ate and exercised incessantly! Now I eat delicious food and allow myself to enjoy it and keep it down, love lounging around in comfort and adore my curvy body!!!☺️
I love the way you phrased that 🤣
@@West-rn-showvn-ist-chick well done on coming so far ❤ I had an ED most my teen life and in my early 20s too. Now I'm a total foody and learning to love myself more and more every day ❤ baby steps x
I had a very dear, sweet friend who never lost her "baby bump" after she had her daughter. It never ceased to amaze me how many people would ask her when she was due! (Despite me shaking my head VIGOROUSLY as soon as I realized what they were going to ask) NEVER assume things like that!!!! Btw, Bailey, you are enviously GORGEOUS!!!
Z
People have no common sense!
I have always had a lower abdominal pooch that I had even at lower weights and am very self conscious about it bc it does make me look pregnant and I am always afraid someone will assume that
Also a lot of women have problems with their periods etc that create bloating and a huge stomach which I have.
@@chanelfitzgerald YES! I have endometriosis and bloat to the point that I look 6 months pregnant. You just never know what someone is going through
I think I told you this before but in case I didn't here it is again, The funniest thing I heard from a woman on one of those advertised diets. The first thing you lose on a diet is your sense of humor and she was dead serious.
“it’s almost like there’s no right way to have a body” PREACH!
I feel like one of the biggest scams is telling us to focus on calories instead of ingredients and what things are made of
only shop on the outside aisles of the store! produce, meats and dairy!
Definitely
@@squishmcphee2529 same 💜
It is unfortunately true though. Think of the vegan that lives on oreos and french fries and is still slender. If you're eating unhealthy food, you will just be unhealthy. You can still be slim and unhealthy. Of course, when you start looking at ingredients, being mindful of not putting a lot of junk into your body, then you'll lose weight in a healthy way and will feel a lot better overall.
‼️‼️‼️
I lost my mother last year, she was in her early 70s. She had anorexia her entire life. She never came to terms with it or even admitted it. She was about 65 lbs when she died. Many of the things stated here were constantly apart of our lives. Smoking to lose weight, nothing but coffee instead of foisted. These things were happing in our family going back to great grandmas. Tapes worms included. Messed up
I know for sure that the focus on the way we look started generations ago in my family. We all still talk about it...I end up discussing looks with the women in my family even when I try not to. It's like we're caught on a treadmill we can't get off of.
I really wish I could turn back the hands of time and tell myself this when I was younger. I always struggled with my height, weight and breast size and people constantly talking behind my back. People can be so cruel, we need to be embracing and lifting up each other ❤️
Keep saying that. Seriously. It might be just the message that someone needs to hear.
Bailey! Sooo well done! I’ve had a long history with anorexia and bursts of bulimia (17 years). I’ve had more feeding tubes than I can count, picc lines, a port, was wheelchair bound, & at one point was urged to consider hospice as my life expectancy was about 4 months. You did amazing at avoiding triggers for those of us with this disorder and I cannot commend you enough on that as it’s easily done. Way to keep being our long distance best friend 😘
For the record, I’m about a year into a solid recovery and going strong 💪
Proud of you for getting help! Best of luck with your recovery. We're glad you're here with us.
Proud of you!😊
so proud of you and happy that you're still here with us! 🫂
Triggers are YOUR responsibility
Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐 🥳
She's just getting her glow back because she went through a hard patch. I'm so glad to see her looking happy again and people are ruining that.
Y'all are personal af, even if someone is pregnant, until they decide to announce it it's nobody's business.
What happened? i wish she’s well
@@noofk6208 getting divorced
@@cierrabradley2839 wait who's getting divorced?
@@ashleeketner4408 sorry I misspoke. I somehow thought Bailey and Fernando were married. But they did split back in January and she took quite a few weeks off to have some self-healing . So not divorced but a heartbreak up.
@@cierrabradley2839 I'm so sad to hear that :( they seemed so into eachother. Thanks for explaining ... I thought I missed something in the video which 3 kids home with me so I constantly have to pause videos of I'm watching so it's entirely possible lol
Eating disorder Dietitian here (who is in ED recovery too). PREACH it queen! The amount of damage diet culture does is unbelievable!! One helpful thing- if "body love" feels out of reach right now- look up "Body Neutrality". Much more doable for those struggling!!! Don't give up- these struggles don't have to be forever!! ❤❤
I was recently bulimic and I am currently recovering, but for this past week, I have been eating lots of fruits, vegetables, and meat. And eating grain with only a meal. I feel great and I feel full all the time. I have actually calmed down on binging.
Serenity Troupe This is wonderful to read! 👌My twins suffered from ED's so I've got some experience.
Congratulations!!! You’re doing amazing! ❤
I am so proud of you!!
Keep going tran you're brain and always remember you are beautiful and deserve to be happy . You will learn to love your self.much love
Frankly I lost weight and felt better AFTER I stopped being bulimic. Don’t go back! ❤
I could talk about this for hours as a Dietitian. Diet culture is a whole mess. Glad you were able to cover some of the topic and bring attention to it.
Glad to see a dietitian who knows what they're talking about! I've talked to a few who had the most messed up views on dieting and working out, which discouraged me from working with one. Wish someone like you was in my city!
@@courtneymsx when I was in school for dietetics, I found out we got some of our materials from a huge dairy company, and I had to go to a medical symposium at a hospital that was funded by multiple dairy and food corporations. Was a bit disillusioning
@@heartdragon2386 That's absolutely disgusting and a betrayal on the part of your educational facility which YOU PAID FOR YOUR EDUCATION FROM but which was obviously taking bribes on the side as well.
@@rayajayce2034 unfortunately, it seems to be the way many schools teach nutrition. One of my classes actually spent a day at a dairy. I didn't go as I had a sick kid. I do know that after they were all citing info they got from them. One of which was easily frozen false.
Dieticians don't get enough credit especially in the medical field
This episode hit close to home. I’ve dealt with anorexia for 20ish years. I’m in remission but it is still something I deal with on the daily. Thank you Bailey for talking about diets and eating disorders. Love you girl
Much love to you. I was "actively" bulimic for about 6-7 years, but my relationship with food and my body has been toxic for almost my entire adult life. The struggle is real. xo
Ladies me too, over twenty years on and off, more on I'm sad to say. In recovery at the moment. The hardest part is getting help and all this because we're led to believe we're not enough (or there is more of us than is acceptable for the timeframe we are in)
I hope your doing well. I didn't a research paper on baleima and anorexia when I was in middle school (42now) it really stuck with me.
Same here 😭 about 7 years and still going I just don’t like food
Same! I wasted almost 20 years trying to stay at 7st6..now I’m 28 and a healthy 8st4 🎉
Thank you for this. I am a therapist who works with several women who struggle with body acceptance. I’m going to add this video to a list of fun resources to share to gain some insight into ever evolving beauty standards. You are the best!
I really enjoy your videos, and I'd like to point out that at 23:39 Lagos, Nairobi, and Accra are all cities in Nigeria, Kenya, and Ghana respectively. I understand it was probably a typo to call them countries. I adore the diverse perspective your consistently high quality videos have and I see all of the hard work you and your team put in!
I was actually about to come comment this, thanks for saying it
I have a lot of stomach problems and am often bloated. Right before the problems put me in the hospital, women were asking me if I was pregnant. Mind ya own uteruses.
Mind your own uteruses 😂 I love that
😂😂😂😂😂👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
😂🤣
😂😂😂
I feel you. I have IBS and everything bloats me. I am sure most days I probably look pregnant. It's very frustrating
My mom was a swimsuit model in the 90s and Early 2000s and did lots of swimsuit pageants… she’s almost 50 now and still struggles with anorexia 😞 thank you Bailey for bringing light to all of the major issues women experience and cultures experience❤️
Oh wow ! I'm sorry to hear that ! I hope she's doing better !
I am so sorry :( sending love to you and your mom.
Bailey, I binge watched you over and over while pregnant and on maternity leave in late 2020. Now my son get super excited whenever he hears your voice! He's not much of a talker, but boy does he talk to you! It's the most adorable thing! 😍
How adorable! 😃
commenting on anyone’s weight whether it be gained or loss, I feel can be very damaging to one’s mindset. You never know what that person is going through
That's why I don't do it unless they actually want to talk about it themselves.
Y’all this makes me so sad
A few years ago I went on ancestry and found out my grandma had a sister who died when she was 23 years old
I asked her what happened to her and she told me she became obsessed with loosing weight and essentially starved herself she told me she did reach her goal of being thin but shortly died because she became so sick
Made me real sad because I’ve struggled with my weight always but after learning about this I’ve become so much nicer to myself ❤️
I've lost 3 friends to their eating disorders and have many others who have and still struggle. Diet culture is so much more serious, dangerous, manipulative, and evil than people think. Thank you for this.
So sorry for your losses 😥 Diet culture really is a monster, isn't it? I'm sure it was never intended to get this serious.
Even as a 4’11” 90lb teenager, I knew that many of the diet/exercise books & plans (Jane Fonda, etc) were out out by what appeared to be tall/naturally thin women. Now a 58 year-old 5’1” 135lb woman I still feel the same.
As a 5”2 91 lbs 31 yr old with a miserable eating disorder, I truly do hope one day I can be comfy at 100+lbs and be happy
A person's diet is simply what they eat. With balance and awareness and allowing yourself grace and love you will achieve the perfect diet for you both mentally and physically. It's not about weight or size or body shape, it's about what makes you feel happy and healthy. I wish we could reclaim the word diet for what it originally meant
🫐🧺🎣
My Granny and her sister used to smoke cigarettes and roll eachother like a log across the living room floor to loose weight. This was in the 1940's. She told me it was the dumbest thing she ever did! 😂
well these days they just rub literal rolling pins on womens stomachs and charge them hundreds for it lol tell gma don’t feel so bad
This is my favorite comment
the rolling was meant to break down cellulite 😂
😂😂😂
This made me laugh 😅😅 man, diet culture really goes places... 🤣
The way she is sitting and speaking , it’s so calming , reminds me of like a story time on CBeebies or something 😂💕
I had a guy working at a gas station mistake me for being pregnant before. In his defense I was wearing a coat that is cut similar to a maternity coat; sort of like a cape, but the material was bulky in the front. I was buying something to drink and decided to add a chocolate bar while making the comment "I really shouldn't but it's been a long day." And the guy said, "No worries, you're eating for two!"... 🤣🤣... Then his face dropped when he realized he made a mistake. Poor kid. I wasn't offended, but I did stop wearing that coat! 😂
I would of said in that case I’ll get another one 😂
At least you weren't an oversensitive B about it!
@@gforceforever ugh....I hate you people
Hey, he had the self-awareness already to realize it's a whoopsie
I’m loving your hair like that!!! 🔥
Right?! She looks so gorgeous!!
It’s so precious
The Karen Carpenter story did more than anything to advance Eating Disorder awareness. Karen was a beautiful young woman and incredibly talented singer who struggled with both Anorexia Nervosa and laxative abuse. She started abusing thyroid meds to speed her metabolism. By February, 1983, she was beginning recovery, and gaining weight. Unfortunately, the damage she had done to her body was too much and she passed the same month from cardiac complications at 32yo. Her death shocked the world and lead to dramatically increased awareness about Eating Disorders.
Also a ‘contagion”. (Unfortunately).
I'm surprised she wasn't mentioned in this 🤷🏽♀️
Oof I remember watching a documentary on her when I was like 4 by accident. I’m 30 and scenes of it have stuck with me until this day.
It's so sad, I'm sure, for us. For her, I hope this was the best of all possible ways to go. She was recovering well. She was beginning a great relationship. I hope she was happy. :'(
Watch Todd Hayes’ movie Superstar about her from 1987- it is all done with Barbies but it’s really poignant and sad.
as someone who was a white female tween in the ‘60s, nothing hit my radar except *TWIGGY* - the weird diets i tried to attain her shape were legion, and i was not a chubby girl. fortunately, i was raised on a working farm, in a 3 generation setting. that meant i lived full time with my grandparents, who’d both experienced the great depression as adults, and my parents, who went through it as children. kinda hard to stay on a bizarre “twiggy” diet when your grandma is watching you eat lol! the only other time i tried a fad diet or three was in college - always w my gal pals, and never for longer than two or three days. i’m a vegan now, because i think that’s healthier, but i don’t believe in any type of food restriction.
I was a model as a child into my teen years. My agency actually provided lists of things we could eat that wasn’t food. Writing paper was the number 1 on the list.
I hope you eat normally now and don't have to fit your body into unrealistic standarts anymore
That's horrifying.
I put myself on my first diet at 12 years old. I had one of those mini black and white marble notebooks and would only allow myself to eat between 500-1000 calories a day. Then my dad had me on the treadmill and i was only allowed to eat strawberries and egg whites because I was a size 6. I’m 34 now and still working on fixing my relationship with food. Diet culture is TOXIC.
Lady, unless you are a Williams sister, your dad should not be involved in your weight loss or even looking at your body critically. Does this still happen?
@@anncrane1097 well I went no contact about 6 months ago. And I got married and moved out of the house at 22 to get away from him. He always had something to say.
I know how you feel. I’m there with you. 28 now and my relationship with food is horrendous
@@anncrane1097 100000%
@@mirrrstery 💜
I struggle with bulimia and having an eating disorder is hard, people can be so nasty. I'm so sorry that somebody even asked that, first off you're here on a platform to share something that you love, that doesn't mean that every aspect of your life is something that should be expected to be shared and if you're glowing. Maybe it's just because you're happy.
I hope your ed is getting better. I know the struggles of having and eating disorder all to well. It's a toxic cycle and nothing is ever enough. I wish you the best.
Exactly .. Her private life is her business
❤
Sending love to you. ❤️
I have anorexia and i have been struggling with it for so long, and i agree with everything your saying and i hope the best for you and for you to recover, you got this beautiful 😊
Yes
This episode is highly appreciated 🤍 I was sexually abused at 18 (I'm 29 now) and I'll never forget my abuser saying " you need to loose weight", right after the disgusting act he put me through. My weight haunted me for years... I couldn't be too thin because then he'd want to do it again, but if I stopped taking care of myself, I felt like noone would ever even set eyes on me again because I wasn't "worth it"
Aww baby im sorry to hear but i hope you’re way better now beautiful. Remember it’s your body and your body only now nobody has control over it so take care of it your body will thank you with health and energy.
What a swine !
You are strong and beautiful 💕
The pain gets smaller each day :)
That’s horrible, nobody deserves to be treated this way. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Wow, that’s very tragic and I hope you found your healing.
You are Beautiful just the Way you are!
I was struggling with my ed relapse lately and honestly this video helped me a bit so thank you, it’s so hard to recover when society still thinks diet equals health and talked about it all the time, it’s so exhausting to hearing. I’m so tired
Jesus, I just wanna be her bestie... I absolutely love this girl so much. Bailey, if you see this, you are so dope and I truly appreciate your presence on this planet 🙌!
This one hit different. It's crazy how the personal image of ourselves can be so easily persuaded by unrealistic advertisements of women who aren't even necessarily healthy. Just woe.
Illusion is powerful
Yes your so right. I couldn't of said it better myself!
Or aren't even neccessarily real. Gibson lady, Barbie, Betty Boop.
Sometimes true, but the bodies on instagram models are obtainable. These are still real women. Granted genetics play a part
@@MrDeano-eu9rg nothing is real on Instagram it's all photoshopped. Even the pictures you can't even tell
I love this episode SO MUCH. I’m a firm believer in not commenting on other’s bodies, negatively or positively. You never know people’s internal struggles. I’m sick of my value being based on my weight. This video means a lot to me thank you Bailey.
right. unless someone is purposely showing their body off like in progress pictures or something of that nature, there is never a need to comment on anyones body
Agreed! Compliments on personality are always so much more sincere to me
yes! I've had friends who've told me that during the midst of eating disorders, they were complimented on their slimness while they were literally underweight, and that encouraged them to starve themselves more
The part about Izzy not wanting to be one of the “sad/bad” stories I identified with. I used to be severely depressed and had SI as a teen. I just didn’t want to be part of that statistic so I got through it, got some tattoos to remind myself of the decision and now I’m an experienced ER nurse who works on a team saving lives. My career makes it worth it and being able to help save someone always reminds me of how different things almost were.
My mom is a early gen x, and give me the worst ED of my life when i turn 14 because i stop looking skinnie and star to look like her, she hate hearing people that i look like her, i still recovering for my ed.
Parents please avoid this situation on your kids and teaching them how to have a healthy and happy life ❤
The whole idea of eating disorders being a "teenage girl" thing is so ridiculous. One of my mama's close friends died from anorexia about 2 years ago, she was in her 50s.
And so many people think anorexia and bulimia are the only EDs to exist, AND that puking is the only form of bulimia purging which is simply not true?? I've lost a couple of friends to their eating disorders. On a slightly happier note though, my best friend started her treatment for her anorexia this week and I'm so proud of her.
even if it was a "teenage girl" thing, the idea that anyone would refer to a child's life-threatening illness so dismissively is terrifying
It's crazy. People have done studies about this and EDs literally effect so many people around the world. Not just teens or women.
Takes 10 minutes working in an office to realise that nearly every single woman in there has at the very least disordered thinking regarding food. So hard when you have an ED to deal with it.
My best friend started treatment as well! Very proud 🥺
…and, men suffer from eating disorders too. I feel like that’s overlooked a lot.
i started realizing i was above “average weight” when i was about 6-7. this began when i was playing tag in church and a kid that was maybe a year or two younger than me tagged me and said “the pregnant lady is it!” i stopped playing after that. i haven’t really ran in front of people since. and i know this is not this little boys fault (he didn’t know better) but that’s how it started
I am so sorry :(
So, Bella, you're blaming your actions and choices on a little boy? Sounds sane.
@@valkyrie2307 unfortunately "sticks and stones" isn't true. Words hurt and can cut like a knife. The difference is, wounds heal, but words can be much harder to move on from.
what part of "i know this isn't the little boys fault" did you not understand
@@valkyrie2307 She literally said “I know it wasn’t the little boys fault he didn’t know better”
This is my first video I’ve watched of yours, 1) you’re so funny, warm, inviting, and genuine, you are a very comforting energy. 2) amazing topic, well researched, very thoughtful and thorough. 3) I love the aesthetic of the background and your look, you’re GORGEOUS
Adam Wright is a nutrition & fitness influencer I adore who exposes the toxicity of diet culture, fads, and even reacts to other influencers' "what I eat in a day" videos and comments on how healthy or unhealthy (restricting) they are. Adam himself has struggled with an eating disorder and strives to spead awareness on the topic.
I needed this today. I actually cried because I've been depressed and have been using food for a crutch. Due to this I have put on quite a bit of weight. Seriously you're a mind reader! Love you Bailey! ❤
Same here.
We’re all in sync 🫠
Ugh, same. My therapist right now is Dr. Pepper
It happens to all of us babe! Don’t feel bad about being human ❤️
Here I am. Same position 🙁
Jawaher Hajji's story is intereting as well as very sad and deserves to be covered. Please talk about it
The description of this vid has an email address you can send case suggestions to!
Yes
Yes
@@_duaa yes'
Yes
Bailey is like modern day Elvira 🥰
Yes!! My exact thought.
So I got an eating disorder at 14 and I wouldn’t eat more than 1200 calories a day because that’s what I had heard. The fact that her book is negatively effecting people 100 years later is nuts.
I legit needed this I’m 28 and my weight fluctuates like crazy and my depression goes along with it. This legit helped me… thanks 🌹🧸
People always tell me how skinny I am and I always smile and say thankyou but on the inside I know that half the reason I look the way I do is cause I go through bouts of not eating when I get really depressed.
Your not alone, more then jus me prolly thought this along with you
@@shannenamaya2407 thankyou
Bailey when do we recieve our Dark History diplomas? You should do Quizzes 🤣🔥
Imagine Dark History Trivia Night Livestreams!!
the next day she releases a kahoot and if u fail ur blocked from the channel!!!!!!
I’d win for sure 😂
@@haileyblarg2339 BRING IT ON!!!
Solid idea.
I have been following Bailey since day dot and it fills my heart with pure fu*kin' joy to see how many subscribers and views she has now! Happy for you queen!
Man, when Bailey said “you CAN recover” I broke…. You have no idea how much I needed this video Bailey, thank you so much ❤
I have an ED that to this day effects most aspects of my life. I got put on a medication that made me gain 50 lbs in a short amount of time. I went out for the first time in a while. I got lunch with a friend at Taco Bell (didn’t even realize Bailey made a Taco Bell comment 🤣) and a random guy asked me how my pregnancy was going. I couldn’t even respond, I was just shocked someone felt the need to assume and then actually voice that to me. It was the first comment I’ve ever got when I gained all that weight. I threw away the food I planned on taking home.
Moral of the story; stop commenting on strangers bodies. You have no idea how hurtful it is to some people.
This is such an important subject. I feel so affected by this difficulty of accepting myself the way I’m. I used to be skinny, but I got a lot of weight in the last couple of years, and I struggled with it every day. I eat normal meals, but I always feel bad after eating. I feel like I don’t have value and I’m lazy. I’ve avoided going to my home country to visit my family and friends because I don’t want them to see me like that. Watching this video made me aware of the toxicity we are exposed to every day. Thank you, Bailey
Thank you for doing this video Bailey. This brought a lot of stuff up for me (which I didn't expect), but the positive is that it stopped me before I spiralled - it's so easy to fall into the hole again even if you have managed to climb out many times. I admire you, keep being you! ❣️
I also struggled with body dysmorphia and an editing disorder but I thankful recovered and I now don't feel guilty about what I eat nor do I think about food all the time. It is possible to recover for anybody that still struggles with these types of things!!! Remember that you are not alone and that there are people that want to help you get better ☺.
Also, we all think (or at least I did for a long time) that "dieting" was to be skinnier BUT in the 40s and 50s there were ads saying "Tired of looking sickly in your bathing suit? Try this powder nutrition to become more voluptuous!" Or "Harry doesn't want a stick figure! He wants a woman with substance." Blah blah blah but there were lots of companies selling these things to make woman bigger to be sexier...... It's so bizarre to me.
Your name is spelled wrong it’s depressed, like me:)
And yet what they were aspiring towards as an end goal wasn't natural distribution for most people, it was a body shape that was still Kardashian-esque in its impossibly. Marilyn Monroe's body measurements, taken directly from her clothes, were 36-24-34, with her waist going up to 28.5 from what she was wearing at her visual largest.
On one hand we're more oversaturated with the imagery now, on the other there's more media coverage of how fake it all is now too.
Until the twentieth century curves were considered sexier. And in some cultures bigger means wealth therefore the heavier a person is the richer they are perceived. And like the old saying. A man wants a little cushion for the pushing.
Either way it's weird..like let women decide how they wanna look
Yea
I just always remember reading those magazines, then going to the bathroom, grabbing my stomach and just wishing I could cut it off. My weight is stress and hormone based, and I’ve tried incredibly hard- and even to my detriment (ie- bulimia and anorexia). At this point my weight is my weight- I can only work out and keep watching my food.
I'm not alone ❣️ thank you 💞 I've low thyroid disorder it makes loosing weight really hard and I don't eat Sweet or carbs = /
@@Rememberriseagainst If you are on a T4 only medicine it will be hard to lose weight. T3 is the hormone that actually fuels your metabolism but doctors don't prescribe it as standard.
That's odd
You would think they would give a s*t about helping ppl 🤷🙄
@@lynncrf which is which
Sorry about the pregnancy questions girl, I had a guy ask me to my face when I was 20 working as a barista. The counter was just under my belly… I had gained a little weight but was still thin. He asked me if I was pregnant, said he noticed I put on a little weight… I don’t even remember the response I just remember running to the back and crying. Lol
And what is bizarre is that he probably was trying to tell you that he had been interested in you. I've had things like this--I was thin and my bosses said I shouldn't lose any more weight unless I was going for a skeletal socialite look...and it was at this point that a guy I was dating who had been married to a flight attendant from Sri Lanka said that I would be "perfect" if I'd just loose 10-15 pounds. Really, people should leave us alone!
trust me.. i’m telling you this now, when men say stuff like that, they actually mean it. many men insult women to put themselves above women.. it’s quite disgusting how manipulation and narcissism is normalized for men.
@@Electraa. I also hate that a friend once said to me "you looked better with long hair". 🙄
Baily’s body is my favorite type! I genuinely love hers and I think many people would agree that hers is GORGEOUS and is the one I would love! She’s naturally stunning and she should know that! Baily your body is literally the idol of feminine, and it’s purely beautiful. Love your content and your look! ❤️❤️❤️
Nah...Marilyn Monroe still holds that spot.
This woman is beautiful though, but not the ideal female body.✌️
I had an eating disorder throughout middle and high school. I have been “recovered” for a decade but still struggle with body image and those disordered thoughts that creep up on me. I just want anyone out there struggling to know they’re not alone and you can do it. I’m always here if anyone needs to chat. Love this episode!
I’m right there with you… I used to starve myself when I was a teenager (food was one of those things I could control) and I still struggle heavily with being comfortable with eating properly (I also forget to eat sometimes because of my ADHD and hyper focus) … I’ve pretty much caused a few health problems for myself now as an adult.
I'm 45 and I still have problems with this. So this episode is great.
I never write comments, but I felt I had to on this one. I'm in recovery from eating disorders and I was so worried about watching this video in case it triggered a relapse. But then I thought, "this is a Dark History/Bailey video, I know it'll be safe" and it was. Thank you for being so honest, transparent and tactful with the video and all the others you've done ❤️
Great job! Sending love your way! Keep up with treatment. 🥰
@@deannalowman2299 thank you! 🥰
@@rebeccagrice3919 triggers are YOUR responsibility to heal
I struggle too 🥺🥺
Sending love your way💜💜 keep going and loving yourself
Late to the game on this one but THANK YOU for mentioning NEDA in your video. My cousin passed away from an eating disorder a couple years ago and they were amazing in spreading awareness to our family and friends.
I sick of both toxic diet culture and toxic body positivity culture. It’s like no one knows what moderation means and takes thing to extremes. It’s crazy. Being happy in our own skin and being healthy is the name of the game, in my opinion.
This one really got me emotional. I’ve struggled with my body image since puberty. I still remember every cruel word uttered to me about my body. Every single day I look at myself and feel ashamed. I try to eat healthy, I don’t deny myself food i really want, I could exercise more but I have EDS which makes my joints unstable, so it’s difficult. If I could just be neutral about my body I’d be happy.
I bet ur actually really pretty
Something that helps me a lot is to remind myself how I would talk to or treat someone about their body. Like if I were to meet someone whose body looked exactly like mine, I know for a fact I wouldn’t be mean to them or think bad things about them the way I do about myself. You deserve love from yourself, if that makes sense. ❤️
That everyone. You're not special.
@@Toastymosty69 what is wrong with you?? She is being vulnerable, respect that
I hope you can get the help that you need. There is no shame in seeking professional help in order to become a freer version of yourself. I pray you become free.
hey Bailey! You should consider doing a dark history on agent orange, what happened in Vietnam. It’s not nearly talked about enough. love you! peace
Oh man I agree! The health problems these guys still deal with is crazy and in some instances it actually carried through to their future generations. This hits home in our family and it's heartbreaking.
I agree!
Agreed 👍
It's in my family as well.
Yes!!!!!!!!
I could have saved myself so much grief if the body positivity movement was around when I was a child and teenager. Thank you for making this video 💕
My favourite episode yet! Thank you so much for being entertaining, educating and serious.
Thank you for all that you do.
PS. I am really enjoying that you don’t have to bleep anymore. I enjoy your enthusiastic swearing enormously.
My sis was just complaining to me about this yesterday! How come she doesn't have her post baby body back.. I said "ok 1st off, you're comparing yourself to these ppl with $ who have housekeepers, nannies, and personal chefs....who have the 8 hours a day to work out. Just stop. Lol"
Going to watch now!
💙
and the money to get treatments for their skin and stuff 😅 it really adds up
I can’t believe we still live in a society where people don’t know that you should never ask a woman if they’re pregnant(probably the same people who go up to women and touch their baby bump) we gotta do better y’all.
Yes?! I cringe when I see people grab a pregnant woman's tummy. Sometimes perfect strangers.
yooooo as a dude i would absolutely never assume that lol my ma dukes taught me better than that lol...n the simple fact im extremily scared to be wrong lol....and yea ive never understood that lemme feel up on ur belly thing....such a invasion of someones personal space...
Well society doesn’t care about insulting or hurting women so it’s not that surprising
Bailey! My friend recently introduced me to your channel and I’ve been bingeing all your content and THIS by far is my favorite episode. You’re so sincere and it shows. I love how you took a sensitive comment and turned it into a learning experience for all of us. Keep rockin on girlie!
it breaks my heart that you can tell she’s hurting but she smiles and puts out content anyways. remember that you are loved bailey. not just by blood family, but your internet family too❤️.
What’s crazy is that every person requires different food needs. Some need lowers carb diets with higher levels of proteins. It’s all about knowing what your body needs and loving the skin you’re in. It’s hard sometimes though.
So true! I tried eating low carb for a while and I was insanely hungry now matter how much I ate. It just doesn’t work for me
I JUST wrote an entire research paper on diet culture and the problems surrounding it. Watching this video was so awesome to see a big creator talk about it! Thank you Bailey, love you so much!!
Asking a woman if she is pregnant is the most invasive question to ask, it can be hurtful to those who have miscarried or can’t get pregnant at all
Great job! Self awareness & self acceptance are so important- thank you!
My late husband had a tapeworm when he was 10, he was in the hospital for a week. He was a chef and always insisted on cooking all meats until completely done. No rare or medium rare meat!
Interesting. My husband's parents, etc etc etc are all doctors. They only eat their meat well-done. Well, except for the cardiologist and his oncologist wife--they are vegetarians. I'm like "give it to me medium rare and where's the salt?"
As a girl that’s always struggled with self image, I cannot emphasize how awesome it is that you covered this topic! It’s crazy how society has all these views and how much of an impact it can cause on everyone. I personally can’t do Instagram because I feel like that’s the main focus or maybe I just can’t fully connect so I just avoid it, I’m sorry people were making comments to you, people are so dumb and don’t realize how much you can hurt someone’s feelings 🤦🏻♀️
Please cover the story of jawher hajji😭😭
100% agree with you. I've had instagram for 10 years, when it was first coming up, and I deleted it a year ago. I will never go back. The IMAGE that people project, even myself, has really made me question society. As well as made me question: what is important to me?
i love the positive vibes in the comments. if we outwardly love/accept others, it’s easier to do the same to ourselves
How have I missed this episode of dark history!!! Thank you Bailey for doing this. You are a Queen!!
My niece did this to herself thinking she could win back her husband's attentions. She ended up in the hospital because she refused to eat. When they threatened a feeding tube she finally started eating. She has since gotten divorced.
and youre obese but no one speaks on it. hypocritical.
I hope that she is safe and well now, I'm so sorry she had to experience hurt like that.
60 yo woman who has recently had weight loss surgery after years of destroying my body with all these diets. I had no idea that all that dieting over the years could do so much damage. I am still undergoing psychological treatment and need to keep that up in the short term. I’m the smallest I have been since I was 18. I feel so much healthier all over.
Hi Nana I have been contimplaing weight loss surger for the same reaosns..I have heard different things, but glad it has made you feel bette..it is a drastic decision, but oine I am willing to take to get healthier once & for all...hopeful it will help and will have long lasting effects:)
@@lisazucker5379I was recommended to think about it by my Rheumatologist. I was going to end up in a wheelchair or bed bound if I didn’t do something drastic.
It’s funny that the “Gibson girl” was used as an image of the “ideal” body type but it’s also the name of an ice cream shop at a theme park.
That’s because iced creams and ices in storefront shops started to become popular at the turn of the last century. So the Gibson Girl ice cream parlor at Disney is decorated in the Belle Époque style that was popular at the time, and has framed images of famous Gibson Girls on the walls. From what I’ve seen, Gibson Girls are the beginning of that idea of the ideal feminine aesthetic but can eat whatever rich and aesthetic foods they want. But the Gibson Girl is also the beginning of beauty standards idolizing adolescent beauty as famously Gibson’s first model was Evelyn Nesbit, who was in her mid-late teens. Her life was a tragedy.
One of the biggest obstacles to recovering from anorexia or bulimia is that a person can’t escape one of the issues, which is food. People recovering from substance abuse problems don’t use those substances but people recovering from eating disorders must still eat. It makes the problem especially hard to get over.
I had an ex tell me he didn’t like my hips because they looked too motherly. No surprise he watched a lot of CP. But I starved myself for 6 months trying to lose my hips. I got crazy thin, but my hips stayed. It was just my bone structure. I’m sick of how our bodies are constantly ridiculed!!!
Wow I’m so sorry! How did you find out he watched cp?? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
He watched CP?!! I hope you reported or report him to the police. That’s extremely disturbing
Birthing hips are super hot. I have them too from my bone structure. Rock them 🤘
The crazy thing with your story is I have lived my life with the opposite. I got a “boy” figure. 42’ 32’ 36’ yes no typo lol….. every inch off my waist 2’ falls off my hips. The fact that I naturally birthed 4 children, statistically I shouldn’t have been able to. Society is STUCK on our physical frames and appearance. One day the majority collective will get that it’s our energy and soul that defines us( for lack of a better word)
that’s ridiculous, i wish i had larger hips because i think they’re so pretty