Will interrupting himself to yell "shut the fuck up" at a column that *he* was reading has to be an all-time Chapo moment. Here's to Chicago's greatest columnist, from a comedic standpoint anyhow. It's not exactly an 8-hour mega cut, but not everyone can be Rod Dreher (thank Christ).
This writing is actually incredible in a way. These reading series are usually excruciating, but this one is unironically enjoyable, if not necessarily for all the reasons Kass intends.
I somewhat take it back. Further in, some of these paragraphs are brutal. He has lost the maudlin sparseness. Still, I think there is some spark there.
Oh my god they figured it out. Kass has the mind of a Hollowed. This is what is running through the minds of all the mobs in Dark Souls. His more introspective focused writing about walking the dog and shit is what is going through the head of some of the optional bosses. A stream of consciousness undulating between nostalgic joy and confused terror or focused despair about a dying world they are helpless to save even though it's exactly what they helped create.
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR PIECE OF BANANA PIE. YOU WILL LIGHT YOUR CIGAR. YOU WILL BASK WITH YOUR SONS AND WIFE. YOU WILL HAVE A PAIR OF CARGO SHORTS. YOU WILL EAT THE BUGS. YOU WILL LIVE IN THE POD. AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY
The truly amazing thing is that he was a terrestrial radio personality for over a decade. If ever there were a truer death knell for that medium I haven’t heard it.
I still don’t fully understand what that meant. I get that they explained it was supposed to be a pithy turn of phrase but I noticed nobody could say what it’s meaning is.
I legitimately think if he had about 2 editing passes that Kass would be an incredible fucking author. This is some of the most harrowing shit I've ever heard.
Not so sure. He was supposed to be the next Royko. Not close. He used to be pretty good at fleshing out corruption in Chicago politics & downstate in Springfield. He took a hard right turn when George W was named president. He started writing more about national politics. His analysis was predictably partisan & uninteresting & wrong once his thoughts cross the state line.
As someone of Greek descent and also Midwestern (though from CLE, not Chi) I ponder using Kass as a totem or guidestone for my next however many years of marriage and family life
3:33 Zeus the wonder dog 18:14 Queen Elisabeth & Kass' mother 35:57 Kass at the hardware store with his "life coach" crushing his bunions (soccer, the beautiful game & "Alone" TV show) 52:35 Fathers day & cargo shorts ("She denies him pie these days", telepathic sabretooth tiger, chicken recipes)
Huh, the book Kass is talking about, I'm pretty sure my dad read that when he was a kid. I know he still has his copy, because I remember him telling me about the psychic cat. I may have to dig it out.
John Kass, Mr page 2 on the Trib, a once on the ball observer of Chicago & downstate political corruption has declined into a sad angry FoX Republican moaner with a webpage. The man who once thought he would be the 2nd coming of Mike Royko.
I think the "beautiful and loving life coach, that's why my feet hurt so much" is talking about the dog. In another article he wrote he talks about walking his dog, Zeus.
The Daily Wire needs to hire John Kass to write and direct their films. They would probably still not be good, but at least rhey would probably be very striking and memorable as some kind of ripoff of Bergman or Lynch.
"The Rats Will Come" and the bleak scene of his family's passive scorn is hundred times more compelling than Ben Shebibo's cumulative body of work, and the best part is that it's entirely unintentional.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 78 | คู่เอก "ปกรณ์ vs ฟาบิโอ"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/LSOmgl0Th2c/mqdefault.jpg)
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That sounds like something out of Twin Peaks. "She denies him pies these days." "The owls are not what they seem."
Will interrupting himself to yell "shut the fuck up" at a column that *he* was reading has to be an all-time Chapo moment. Here's to Chicago's greatest columnist, from a comedic standpoint anyhow. It's not exactly an 8-hour mega cut, but not everyone can be Rod Dreher (thank Christ).
felix's truly joyful laughter.cackling at john kass' cursed greek tragedy of an existence was amazing
Kass' writing is basically just Rorschach's journal, huh?
Kass is basically Will Farrell’s character from Stranger Than Fiction but his author is Scandinavian and the audiobook-narration is by Werner Herzog.
@@elijahwilensky3318 I can hear him now. "She denies him pies these days"
@@elijahwilensky3318 wq as
Unlike a lot of writers they feature, John’s writing is powerfully evocative. Not for the reasons he intends, but still.
He’s like if Cormac McCarthy created Ignatius Reilly.
This is the perfect picture of john cass
Kevin Spacey's notebooks in Se7en are lighter reads than this.
Jesus christ…that photo of Kass is so fucking bleak. Truly a man alone with his thoughts & nothing else
Punished Kass
Right. It precisely sums up his tragic existence.
@@plutarchtheoligarch1657 A one man Last Supper
The man who's been denied pies.
Theres very clearly also a bowl of soup, his most suitable companion.
The rats are coming
I’m stealing that
This writing is actually incredible in a way. These reading series are usually excruciating, but this one is unironically enjoyable, if not necessarily for all the reasons Kass intends.
I somewhat take it back. Further in, some of these paragraphs are brutal. He has lost the maudlin sparseness. Still, I think there is some spark there.
Jesus, this piece is almost borderline on the same level of Jacob's Ladder's misery, his Chicago might as well his own Silent Hill
Oh my god they figured it out. Kass has the mind of a Hollowed. This is what is running through the minds of all the mobs in Dark Souls. His more introspective focused writing about walking the dog and shit is what is going through the head of some of the optional bosses. A stream of consciousness undulating between nostalgic joy and confused terror or focused despair about a dying world they are helpless to save even though it's exactly what they helped create.
Drink every time he says "football, the beautiful game"
How I have LONGED for this! Ass, Grass or Kass is probably my favorite deranged conservative columnist the Dry Boys have covered.
Kass is a delicious slice of Suburban Sadness
Just further proof that no matter how much success or wealth or attention the suburban hogs get, it will never fill the void inside.
*extremely Lana Del Rey voice*
talkin bout that suburbanite
suburbanite sadness
talkin bout that suburbanite
suburbanite sadness
whoa ooh oooh oooh
YOU WILL HAVE YOUR PIECE OF BANANA PIE. YOU WILL LIGHT YOUR CIGAR. YOU WILL BASK WITH YOUR SONS AND WIFE. YOU WILL HAVE A PAIR OF CARGO SHORTS. YOU WILL EAT THE BUGS. YOU WILL LIVE IN THE POD. AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY
As s detestable as I find his personal beliefs I find kass more likable and relatable than say a Trevor Noah type
I learned recently that John lives in Saint John, Indiana. Which is one town over from me, the fact he pretends he’s from Chicago he’s hilarious
The truly amazing thing is that he was a terrestrial radio personality for over a decade. If ever there were a truer death knell for that medium I haven’t heard it.
kass is probably somehow descended from all the trojan concubines and murdered achaean kings
“Banana Republic Pudding”
I still don’t fully understand what that meant. I get that they explained it was supposed to be a pithy turn of phrase but I noticed nobody could say what it’s meaning is.
He has to have Banana Republic Pudding because she denies him pies these days! Weren't you listening?🤣
The only reason to go to the UK: glistening wet beef.
Sloppy steaks rule tho
Three part dreher lore, McGriddle and now kass…. You are treating us. Assuming the Douthat comp is dropping next.
Thanks for this.
Felix just accidentally came up with the perfect name for John Kass’ columns;
“Kass-line of Sorrow”
I legitimately think if he had about 2 editing passes that Kass would be an incredible fucking author. This is some of the most harrowing shit I've ever heard.
Not so sure.
He was supposed to be
the next Royko.
Not close.
He used to be pretty good at fleshing out corruption in Chicago politics & downstate in Springfield. He took a hard right turn when George W was named president. He started writing more about national politics.
His analysis was predictably partisan & uninteresting & wrong once his thoughts cross the state line.
"mind thoughts"
Close cousins with
"mouth words"
Or "brain genius"
Foot-shoes
Middle America's most bedraggled chronicler of fanciful grievance
the background picture for this is so perfect. long live and suffer j. kass
Not to be mistaken with antoher schlubby boomer man-of-letters, Jon Katz.
John kass is the world's saddest man, someone who if they killed themselves people would only ask "why did it take him so long?"
I'm still choking on mind-tiger! Thanks for posting! I listened twice and laughed all the way through 🤣
On the health front things have gotten worse for Kass. He's had a stroke and open heart surgery in 2023.
Prayers up
Owned
john kass basically lives in stephen king's Misery
just let the man wear his cargo shorts
im 18 seconds into john kass' podcast "the chicago way" about the recent solar eclipse & hes talking about his pancreas
SHE DENIES HIM PIES THESE DAYS!!!
As someone of Greek descent and also Midwestern (though from CLE, not Chi) I ponder using Kass as a totem or guidestone for my next however many years of marriage and family life
Further proof, if you needed it, that Illinois is the best of the Midwest. Wisconsin could never.
For sure
Seconded - having lived north of the city most of my life, Wisconsin is only good in a few places and in limited doses
Denying your husband pies and cargo shorts is how you get the movie My Big Fat Greek Divorce.
Mind Dreams of my Motherwife: Musings and Boythoughts from the Sadiverse (a novel)
Chapter 1: The Queen is dead, Long Live the Sausage King of Chicago
boy dreams and mind thoughts is right up there with she denies him pies these days
My favorite K hole
This guy is like William H. Gass crossed with Homer Simpson.
There be no pies where we're going.
Human pot pie still counts as pie.
3:33 Zeus the wonder dog
18:14 Queen Elisabeth & Kass' mother
35:57 Kass at the hardware store with his "life coach" crushing his bunions (soccer, the beautiful game & "Alone" TV show)
52:35 Fathers day & cargo shorts ("She denies him pie these days", telepathic sabretooth tiger, chicken recipes)
“like so many broken promises…”
Old Man Rorschach
Huh, the book Kass is talking about, I'm pretty sure my dad read that when he was a kid. I know he still has his copy, because I remember him telling me about the psychic cat. I may have to dig it out.
It's called A boy and his Dog, or at least the movie based on it is.
"Boy dreams..."
*dead*
John Kass, Mr page 2 on the Trib, a once on the ball observer of Chicago & downstate political corruption has declined into a sad angry FoX Republican moaner with a webpage. The man who once thought he would be the 2nd coming of Mike Royko.
he's like John Self from Money
The ever present single downvote is almost heartwarming.
Imagine being that person.
I think the "beautiful and loving life coach, that's why my feet hurt so much" is talking about the dog. In another article he wrote he talks about walking his dog, Zeus.
Nevermind his explanation made much less sense
The Daily Wire needs to hire John Kass to write and direct their films. They would probably still not be good, but at least rhey would probably be very striking and memorable as some kind of ripoff of Bergman or Lynch.
Hendricks gin is a UK product, guy.
Oh my God this fucking guy LMFAOOOOO😭😭😭😭😭😭
He looks like a bloated David Lynch. Same writing style too.
David Lunch
"Believe it or not, I've always been susceptible to dark spiritual charms of jesters."
"Elaborate on that."
"No."
id really like a john kass/mancow crossover
Kass 2 Kass
Wait did they say Bosch or vaush
Bosch lol
That's why I was scrolling.
I wonder what premier league team he supports?
Everton FC might provide a suitable level of low-level despair & resignation
god, felix is so unfunny
Wdym he is the funniest member
"The Rats Will Come" and the bleak scene of his family's passive scorn is hundred times more compelling than Ben Shebibo's cumulative body of work, and the best part is that it's entirely unintentional.