Back in the 80s we had a new employee start at our company, to break the ice I asked him what was his favourite film and he he said "Aliens". Then I asked him "what's the worst film you've ever seen?" and he said "Star Crystal". I thought "We're going to be friends". We still are.
Are you joking?? Here in Austin a large number of people would have been glued to their seats with this. We have (or had) fairly frequent showings of The Room that people actually pay to watch. We love Bad Cinema!
I attended film school with the producer/co-writer/editor of this movie - Eric Woster. I was briefly re-acquainted with him not long before his untimely passing in 1992 at the young age of 33. He was ambitious and oddly obsessive - as anyone would have to be to make any kind of low-budget, independent movie - so I extend accolades for that. He showed me a prototype of a home-made steady-cam he was making out of wood and surgical tubing. Again, I was impressed by his daring and ambition, but not convinced it would actually work. I took the easy route, and worked on other people's movies for a guaranteed paycheck, while he gambled on autonomy and potential fame, or infamy.
"...in the 2 days before the accident, it went from barely being able to move to be able to find its way out of a maze that a nine month old chimp couldn't figure out." ... what? It's like they're comparing apples to orangutans. Am I supposed to be more impressed by the alien or by the baby chimp?
The poster reads: "It is the year 2035. Scientists have discovered a new life form. They're about to wish they hadn't." This describes an alien species who have discovered humans by catching a broadcast of "Star Crystal".
Taking aside the primary school level of acting, the funny thing is that, had the screenplay set it up correctly writing the crew members' death properly, the plot twist would have made for something original. Although there is no redemption for the song.
"There's a song" Possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard you say, Robin. And don't the lyrics say something like "in space, no one can hear you scream?"
At 2:39, The Device, makes a cameo appearance. This contraption with the tubes with the blinking back and forth red lights in them, has more acting credits and been in more movies than most Hollywood actors have. It fills my heart with glee every time I see it. No one knows what purpose it serves, but it seems to be in every space ship, or science lab, in a HUGE number of movies and TV shows. It seriously needs a fan club at this point. I wonder where The Device is now. Does some lucky collector have it in their living room?
The Device has a colleague whose career was limited to the 1950s: The Dome. Usually mounted on a dais in the middle of the control room, translucent, with one or more softly glowing, colored, lights.
This was one of those old "grindhouse" movies that used to play at the drive in but people went to the drive in to make out the movie was just an excuse to be there
This reminds me of a junior high film project one part of our 7th grade class made. Everybody was ripping from Alien and ET. My group made a prison comedy.
I dunno why they didn't stick more to the gimmick. First ship - eliminated. Spacstation - blown up. Escape ship - terminated. I see no reason why they couldn't bring in a fourth, rescue ship.
2:39 That prop has a very fine pedigree. It appears in Wrath of Khan, The Last Starfighter, The Incredible Hulk tv movie, Star Trek The Next Generation, Lois and Clark, the New Adventures of Superman, and Airplane 2.
Amazing what a big pair of eyes can do, like change a rampaging Alien into a lovable E.T. As for other Alien rip-offs, have you seen "The Intruder Within"? It's basically Alien on an oil rig and made for television.
I saw escaletors and some kind of display window, it seems they filmed in some shopping center... Or maybe It was the shopping center of the space satellite base...
There's still 1985's CREATURE (aka Titan Find), which isn't half bad IMO. Also, this movie's twist might have been decent had it been set up properly; as presented it just comes off as an asspull done purely to 'subvert expectations'.
I remember when I first watched this film, already appalled by the grotesque sentimentality of the final act, thought to myself, "This is so cheesy. What are they gonna do now, throw in a love ballad?" Three minutes later, "Dammit, I was only kidding!!"
Truly horrifying. And that's just the song! The monster near the end looks familiar. I was going to ask what film they ripped the footage from, but it seems to be original. Has another film ripped this footage off? Or have two films used the same monster prop?
It really is like they were making an 'Alien' rip-off, got board & switched it to an 'ET' rip-off! That's similar to what happened to Ray Dennis Steckler when he was making 'Ratfink A Boo Boo'!
I’d love to see a remake where Garr is the hero. Or we think the first crew is innocent, but are actually working for a big evil corp. New crew chases Garr, think attempts to communicate are a trap, until they learn the truth.
"Are there any more 'Alien' ripoffs?" 1) Something Is Waiting On The Dark Side Of The Moon 2) and there'll definitely be another soon as I can scrounge up $2 mil.
I didn't recognize this old movie until the tentacles went chasing blondes down a duct... Then I remembered the whole let down ending... Alien reads the bible and lets jesus into its hearts... If they had two aliens, then one could have stayed bad, leading to a showdown! :)
Okay, when does some bright person produce Robin's screenplays? Oh yes, there must be many! A good writer, presenter, video expert, and genre movie expert.. of course he writes screenplays!
One of the worst sci-fi movies ever made! And one of the funniest Dark Corners reviews! The integration of the movie clips was particularly brilliant, the best being the one at 02:06.
How can Mr Blobby use the computer? No hands or other digits & the computer is voice locked to the Marjoe Gortner look-alike. Does it slap the keys with its tentacles?
Like most movies it doesn't go far enough. It doesn't fight being boring by really going over the top. There should have been five more songs and some of them should have been duets between the monster and various crew people. They should have leaned into the badness like that soccer on Mars stuff. Playing it more or less straight doomed them to dullsville.
There are always more Alien knock offs. It is the way of things. Maybe try Harbinger Down , the movie made by the special effects company screwed over by the Thing prequel replacing all their work with CGI?
You might know about films but you need to learn how a ship works. I'm not sure about the more modern ships, but on 1960s and earlier that speed control on the bridge did nothing apart from send a signal to the engine room telling them to decrease or increase engine power. So the guy in the film is correct. He HAS to go into the engine room to control the speed.
Well.. let’s see... There’s: Inseminoid Biohazard Alien Predator Deep Space Alien From the Dark Scared to Death Alien Contamination Forbidden World Galaxy of Terror Xtro The Beast Within (maybe?) I might be missing a few others, but I don’t know which of those you’ve done yet.
Well we've done The Beast Within, Xtro, Galaxy of Terror and Forbidden World (also a film called Scared to Death but I doubt it's the same one). Tried Alien Contamination but was just bored. Still quite a few to do...
@@robinbailes5236 aww.. I rather liked *Alien Contamination.* Sure, it probably helps that the first time I saw it was a midnight Saturday night on Elvira’s *Movie Macabre* (and they didn’t cut out the gore!) when I was 14... but still... it’s got Goblin music! And Italian Michael Caine! If you thought that was boring, you’re probably not going to like the rest of the rip-offs you haven’t covered. Hell, after doing *Star Crystal* (which I thought was dreadfully boring even when I first watched it on HBO in the 80’s... I didn’t even make it to the “melted ET” scenes) I’m surprised you found *Alien Contamination* to be the one that was _too boring_ to do. Regardless, I appreciate the quick reply. Off to watch *Xtro* review!
Back in the 80s we had a new employee start at our company, to break the ice I asked him what was his favourite film and he he said "Aliens". Then I asked him "what's the worst film you've ever seen?" and he said "Star Crystal". I thought "We're going to be friends". We still are.
This is the sort of film you put on when you want guests who've out stayed their welcome to leave.
Are you joking?? Here in Austin a large number of people would have been glued to their seats with this. We have (or had) fairly frequent showings of The Room that people actually pay to watch. We love Bad Cinema!
It cut off the Air Supply? They’re all out of love!
Or they're Lost In Love and they don't know much.
Ouch!
They're so lost without it
🤣🤣
One of the most WTF?! Endings of all time. I remember staring at the screen with an open mouth as the final song started😂
We saw this on the big screen at an all-night sci-fi festival, and the "twist ending"...took our entire audience by surprise, to say the least. 😱🤦🤣
I attended film school with the producer/co-writer/editor of this movie - Eric Woster. I was briefly re-acquainted with him not long before his untimely passing in 1992 at the young age of 33. He was ambitious and oddly obsessive - as anyone would have to be to make any kind of low-budget, independent movie - so I extend accolades for that. He showed me a prototype of a home-made steady-cam he was making out of wood and surgical tubing. Again, I was impressed by his daring and ambition, but not convinced it would actually work. I took the easy route, and worked on other people's movies for a guaranteed paycheck, while he gambled on autonomy and potential fame, or infamy.
And he's certainly made his mark.
Looks like their ship was made from 8 Tupperware cups.
"...in the 2 days before the accident, it went from barely being able to move to be able to find its way out of a maze that a nine month old chimp couldn't figure out."
... what? It's like they're comparing apples to orangutans. Am I supposed to be more impressed by the alien or by the baby chimp?
"I killed in self-defense".
From being forced to navigate a maze???
That must have been one evil maze!
The poster reads: "It is the year 2035. Scientists have discovered a new life form. They're about to wish they hadn't."
This describes an alien species who have discovered humans by catching a broadcast of "Star Crystal".
It wasn't until I saw the alien that I realized I had seen this movie decades ago on TV. Must have repressed the memory.
Same.
I must get myself a 'Hot Girls Alarm'
The lady singing the end credits song was the voice of Daphne in Scooby Doo!
hahahaha trivia for the next unmasked party.
Zoinks!!
Danger prone Daphne does it again.
Saw this on cable when I was a kid and it freaked me out. Watching it again as an adult and it just makes me laugh!
Taking aside the primary school level of acting, the funny thing is that, had the screenplay set it up correctly writing the crew members' death properly, the plot twist would have made for something original.
Although there is no redemption for the song.
Good heavens, Robin! The fact that hairdressers are under lockdown doesn't mean you're not allowed to wash that thing.
True story, even before lockdowns were a thing Robin cut his own hair.
Could have gone the Jeremy Jahns route and just let it grow out. Jahns now looks as if he was born in a manger.
@@skylx0812 Jahns looks terrible these days
....God, When that song played, warm tea almost came out o` my nose! Nice one Robin!
There's a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan or JJ Abrams. And I really mean that.
"There's a song"
Possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard you say, Robin.
And don't the lyrics say something like "in space, no one can hear you scream?"
Wow, I haven't watched in a while-- I'm happy your reviews are longer than they used to be. You always make me smile.
Tentacles got her and she wasn't even a Japanese schoolgirl.
Well, to be fair the tentacles weren't phallic shaped so Japanese schoolgirls would be be remotely interested.
7:03 It's the repurposed fan blades and plastic Solo cups which really bring out the authentic feel of spacecraft.
I don't care how sorry the alien was, it killed off the hot blonde.
Unforgivable.
Yeah they stood there and watched their friends get Pac-Man.
At 2:39, The Device, makes a cameo appearance. This contraption with the tubes with the blinking back and forth red lights in them, has more acting credits and been in more movies than most Hollywood actors have. It fills my heart with glee every time I see it. No one knows what purpose it serves, but it seems to be in every space ship, or science lab, in a HUGE number of movies and TV shows. It seriously needs a fan club at this point. I wonder where The Device is now. Does some lucky collector have it in their living room?
The Device has a colleague whose career was limited to the 1950s: The Dome. Usually mounted on a dais in the middle of the control room, translucent, with one or more softly glowing, colored, lights.
This was one of those old "grindhouse" movies that used to play at the drive in but people went to the drive in to make out the movie was just an excuse to be there
This reminds me of a junior high film project one part of our 7th grade class made. Everybody was ripping from Alien and ET.
My group made a prison comedy.
I dunno why they didn't stick more to the gimmick. First ship - eliminated. Spacstation - blown up. Escape ship - terminated.
I see no reason why they couldn't bring in a fourth, rescue ship.
2:39 That prop has a very fine pedigree. It appears in Wrath of Khan, The Last Starfighter, The Incredible Hulk tv movie, Star Trek The Next Generation, Lois and Clark, the New Adventures of Superman, and Airplane 2.
I truly lost it when the song came in. That’s when it went from bad movie to trash art hahah!
Gots ta have ventilator shafts in the ship. That's the cut and dry rule since "It! The Terror From Beyond Space."
Amazing what a big pair of eyes can do, like change a rampaging Alien into a lovable E.T.
As for other Alien rip-offs, have you seen "The Intruder Within"? It's basically Alien on an oil rig and made for television.
I saw escaletors and some kind of display window, it seems they filmed in some shopping center... Or maybe It was the shopping center of the space satellite base...
There's still 1985's CREATURE (aka Titan Find), which isn't half bad IMO.
Also, this movie's twist might have been decent had it been set up properly; as presented it just comes off as an asspull done purely to 'subvert expectations'.
I remember when I first watched this film, already appalled by the grotesque sentimentality of the final act, thought to myself, "This is so cheesy. What are they gonna do now, throw in a love ballad?"
Three minutes later, "Dammit, I was only kidding!!"
Truly horrifying. And that's just the song!
The monster near the end looks familiar. I was going to ask what film they ripped the footage from, but it seems to be original. Has another film ripped this footage off? Or have two films used the same monster prop?
“It’s got a song”. Terrifying words. However, it beats the living daylights out of “Rock and the Alien”
Some of these really low budget films have decent effects and good looking monsters, it's just everything else that truly sucks.
1:55 20 wasted minutes? No, 20 successfully padded minutes.
The song from "Manos Hands of Fate" was even better.
Manos was just better.
@@Bigbadwhitecracker Thats what I was gonna say.😆 Everything in Manos was better than this 💩
The theme to The Last Dinosaur is a classic compared to that shrieking.
I think it's time for Law and Order to bring the alien creature up on multiple first degree murder charges pled down to second degree
It really is like they were making an 'Alien' rip-off, got board & switched it to an 'ET' rip-off! That's similar to what happened to Ray Dennis Steckler when he was making 'Ratfink A Boo Boo'!
Now you make me want to see someone making an 'ET' rip-off get bored and switch it to an 'Alien' rip-off!
@@namelessjedi2242 So when Cleaborp gets ill... Instead of recovering he attaches a face-hugger on Peter Coyote!?! That could work!
This one sounds amazingly inept. I may have to see this.
Its like Zrek aka E.T fused with The Blob
DCR, have you reviewed ''The Yesterday Machine''(1963) ?
I think it fits your critter-ium !
I’d love to see a remake where Garr is the hero. Or we think the first crew is innocent, but are actually working for a big evil corp. New crew chases Garr, think attempts to communicate are a trap, until they learn the truth.
0:22 that is a tricorder prop from *Star Trek II.*
"Are there any more 'Alien' ripoffs?"
1) Something Is Waiting On The Dark Side Of The Moon
2) and there'll definitely be another soon as I can scrounge up $2 mil.
Star Trek Strange New Worlds 1x09
I didn't recognize this old movie until the tentacles went chasing blondes down a duct...
Then I remembered the whole let down ending... Alien reads the bible and lets jesus into its hearts...
If they had two aliens, then one could have stayed bad, leading to a showdown! :)
Classic case of "One good idea...better save it for the end. But how to get there?"
I've seen this, and while I remember it as being awful, I think traumatic amnesia must have blotted out any memory of the song at the end.
I literally burst out laughing when the song came on 😂
Wait, I'm confused... what does the title have to do with the movie?
Good question.
"What happened to the space station?!"
Somebody put an egg in the microwave
I was expecting another smaller escape pod and another rescue team.
Cheap is one thing, but there is nothing that can get around the sin of bad writing, bad acting, and bad directing.
2:36 Like how the stars are shining through the planet.
The song was performed by Daphne from Scooby Doo!
6:11 In A.D 2101. War was beginning.
We get signal!
Main screen turn on!
"Four hours of work" is about right! Holy shit, that thing is horrible.
Okay, when does some bright person produce Robin's screenplays? Oh yes, there must be many! A good writer, presenter, video expert, and genre movie expert.. of course he writes screenplays!
Dark Corners Reviews would you please do a review on 1946's Devil Monster?
One of the worst sci-fi movies ever made! And one of the funniest Dark Corners reviews! The integration of the movie clips was particularly brilliant, the best being the one at 02:06.
Well the alien DID look pretty cool and there's that theme song by Dolly Parton...
Love this channel.....keep up the great work. 👍🏻
How can Mr Blobby use the computer? No hands or other digits & the computer is voice locked to the Marjoe Gortner look-alike. Does it slap the keys with its tentacles?
I always enjoy loud explosions in a vacuum.
Like most movies it doesn't go far enough. It doesn't fight being boring by really going over the top. There should have been five more songs and some of them should have been duets between the monster and various crew people. They should have leaned into the badness like that soccer on Mars stuff. Playing it more or less straight doomed them to dullsville.
Something more like Little Shop of Horrors in Space as conceived by Andy Warhol, John Waters, Russ Meyer, and Busby Berkeley? Sign me up! Lol
The filmmakers weren’t sued for copying the ET character? Or did Spielberg just think it wasn’t worth the effort.
I remember this one. Late night cable fare. And the ending made no sense.
I had this on VHS. Took me about 4 tries to finish it as i kept falling asleep. Better than Melatonin!
That "song" is amazing!
It looks like Tweety-Pie if he lived a Windscale.
In space, no one can hear you cream.
I mean, scream.
Just when you think a movie can't get any worse...
Let me alone?! I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself!😂
the ending reminds a little of Ted Nicolaou's ''Terror Vision" (1986), but is much lamer.
Where does the title 'Star Crystal' come in? I don't see any crystal but there is plenty of space!
That end song! Hilarious!
i LOVE your reviews and this channel!
Is it ALIEN? Is it E.T.? No, it's a plucked killer space turkey. With tentacles...
He was.
Please do The Alligator People (alligator in pants)!
1:36 The shortest movie I ever watch.
1:45 Oh wait, nevermind.
Galaxy of terror, crwature by Bill Malone, night of the creeps, Lilly cat, contamination
I'm laughing my Bee hind off.
"Never thought of that." HA HA HA
From the academy of wooden acting, this film chose the stumps.
There are always more Alien knock offs. It is the way of things. Maybe try Harbinger Down
, the movie made by the special effects company screwed over by the Thing prequel replacing all their work with CGI?
Liked both HD and the Thing prequel. Actually thought The Thing 2011 was quite good.
Dark Corners, thank you for the warning!!!🙏👌👽❤️
You might know about films but you need to learn how a ship works. I'm not sure about the more modern ships, but on 1960s and earlier that speed control on the bridge did nothing apart from send a signal to the engine room telling them to decrease or increase engine power. So the guy in the film is correct. He HAS to go into the engine room to control the speed.
Either that, or if he really wanted to slow the spaceship down he would have thrown an anchor out the window.
@@DarkCornersReviews Sorry that wouldn't work. He could only do that at a parking meteor 😃
I hope we are not getting to the end of the Alien rip-offs
Remember this lol. Had it on vhs
I’m gonna say it… I’d actually like Alien more if it had this ending.
What?-'what levels 4 on?'- 2!-um
This is funny🤣🤣. I am gonna go binge watch. Subscribed.
Welcome. We have lots to get through, so quit your job and settle in for the next few weeks.
@@DarkCornersReviews just handed my resignation. I hope it's worth it🤣
When you get to the Miami Connection review, you'll know it was worth it
And i thought the writers for the CW Batwoman show were horrid..Bloody Hell!!!
Well.. let’s see...
There’s:
Inseminoid
Biohazard
Alien Predator
Deep Space
Alien From the Dark
Scared to Death
Alien Contamination
Forbidden World
Galaxy of Terror
Xtro
The Beast Within (maybe?)
I might be missing a few others, but I don’t know which of those you’ve done yet.
Well we've done The Beast Within, Xtro, Galaxy of Terror and Forbidden World (also a film called Scared to Death but I doubt it's the same one). Tried Alien Contamination but was just bored. Still quite a few to do...
@@robinbailes5236 aww.. I rather liked *Alien Contamination.* Sure, it probably helps that the first time I saw it was a midnight Saturday night on Elvira’s *Movie Macabre* (and they didn’t cut out the gore!) when I was 14... but still... it’s got Goblin music! And Italian Michael Caine!
If you thought that was boring, you’re probably not going to like the rest of the rip-offs you haven’t covered.
Hell, after doing *Star Crystal* (which I thought was dreadfully boring even when I first watched it on HBO in the 80’s... I didn’t even make it to the “melted ET” scenes) I’m surprised you found *Alien Contamination* to be the one that was _too boring_ to do.
Regardless, I appreciate the quick reply.
Off to watch *Xtro* review!
I enjoyed watching this movie, it's such a bad movie that it's good. The ending is a big WTF? ending. Totally ridiculous but still a guilty pleasure.
Killing the crew by cutting off life support; it just stole a scene from "2001"!
Great review. Looks like that had to be painful to watch.
All that running around only to be exploded.🤷🏿♂️
That was what caused the station to explode; all of the crew ran headlong in to each other and reached critical mass.