Having my last memories be spending the night with friends, singing, dancing, throwing paper airplanes and laughing in the early hours of the morning, it’s horrible he’s gone but I can’t imagine a better way to spend my last night. I hope you’re all okay, sorry for your loss x
@@angelabenedict I know (from my experiences) that there are no words that can lessen the agony of your loss. I wish there were; I’d pour them into your heart. It’s not fair, you’re right. I’m sorry. This is the 3rd anniversary of my young, vibrant mum’s passing. Despite having insurance and frequent exams by specialists, her doctors committed medical negligence/malpractice. I know too well the torture from thoughts of “If only I had done this… I should’ve done this too… Why didn’t I do this…”. I’m so truly sorry you’re experiencing that! ♥️ It’s been 5 years since we lost my sister at only 16, and as I get closer to that age I’m scared of what I’ll feel. I can only tell you grief changes - but you know that already, having lost your dad when you were younger. I’m very sorry for that loss too! ♥️ Bless you, beloved “Auntie” Angela. May your joyful memories of him become a balm to soothe your pain. Waiting for the autopsy results is extremely hard! I think it really delays the healing and mourning process. I’m sorry ♥️
Cybergod died!? Omg! That SUCKS!!!!! I remember talking to him in your streams & having so much fun seeing what he had to say! I'm very very very so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
I don't know of many resources in my area, but for anyone in Texas in or around San Antonio, the Arthur Nagel Clinic in Bandera is essentially a free clinic, they ask for donations but it's not mandatory (please donate if you can) there's no mandatory fee for visits, consultations, etc and they will do EVERYTHING in their power to help you get medication, treatment, tests, etc for as little cost to you as possible. EVERYONE put the patients AND families first and was friendly, compassionate, and helpful at all times. They WANT to help people.
So sorry for your loss. Our health is definitely not something to play about it or put off, especially the older we get! He’s lucky he had people who loved and cared about him in all aspects. He will always be with you and your loved ones. Thank you for posting this to bring awareness but also give us an insight on who he was as a person. May he rest in peace 🕊️🖤
I'm really glad for that. I wanted to share that video from him on New Year's Eve with all of the groceries because that encompassed his personality so much. He was generous, almost to a fault. If we were having an event we had to make sure to tell him not to bring anything at all or just bring one thing and we would name that one thing very specifically because if you did not what you would end up with is that video you saw. He would spend nearly $300 on snacks for everyone. He just wanted to make people happy and showering them with drinks at clubs or snacks was kind of his way of doing that. When he did, he made sure to make a show of it because he was definitely not short on personality!
I have AFIB. These tachycardia type conditions are no joke. They say they don't kill you, but if you don't manage them and take meds and let your heart keep racing, that racing, weakens it until it's too late. Guys BEWARE.
Exactly. Anything that messes with the heart Is something that should never be ignored. Tachycardia is all around terrifying when you're experiencing it. Your chilling in your slippers, watching a film all cozy on your couch one minute, the next minute your heart decides to reenact the conditions of running down a hill full speed. That ain't normal. Those kinds of ups and downs and excessive pumping, it takes its toll.
Thank you, Angela. I've also been experiencing chest pains for months now, but haven't done anything about it 'cause I'm stubborn and think that it'll just go away on its own. I have a doctors appointment coming up & i think i will tell my doctor about it. I am so sorry for your loss. You definitely gave him a family. 🖤💐
I’m so sorry for your loss, Angela. My sister passed away this January and it still doesn’t feel real. I’m sending love to you and your husband during this difficult time 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's incredibly tough and painful. Siblings are like extensions of ourselves in a lot of ways. Sending you love and thoughts. 🖤
As someone with a bad heart I truly am so sorry for your loss..I was told so many times I wouldn't make it out of my teens alive but I keep fighting everyday..Thank you for being there for ur friend and allowing him to fully be himself..sending warm cosmic hugs to you and ur hubby..🖤
I'm so sorry. I just lost my brother last year and then my grandpa this year. It really is sad how you can be with someone one second and then the next you never see them again. Sending hugs and all my love to you.
Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a sibling has to be gut-wrenching. It's almost like an extension of yourself. I'm so sorry For your grandfather as well. Grandpa's are special people, for sure. You never quite know what they're going to do. Mine used to like to pretend to steal batteries from the store and blame it on being senile because he was curious as to how much people could get away with when they're old. He was a funny guy. Thank you so much for all the kind words, I'm sending love and positive thoughts right back.
Been watching since I was 15 and Id like to thank you for always being so thoughtful and caring. You’ve introduced probably thousands of people to this subculture and its history.
I always learn from you and this experience is no different. Sending you and your husband my deepest condolences. This video gave me cause to reflect on lost friends. I’m grateful to you and to be a part of this community.
It makes me happy to hear that you do Get positive experiences from my content and the community. Thank you for the kind words. I'm truly sorry for the friends that you've lost. It's never easy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone we love, or close to, isn't easy. I've been fortunate enough to be apart of this community for the last 7 months now. And it's because of people like you, that i feel that the Goth community is the place where i belong.
OMG! I HAD NO IDEA. I have him as a Facebook friend and had no idea that he passed. How horrifically horrible! 😧😣😢💔💔💔 My sincerest and utmost heartfelt condolences to you, his family and to all who knew him and loved him well. 🖤🕯🖤
I know, a lot of people didn't. Usually they have this feature where Facebook has a legacy to pass so others know what happened and then a close family member can take over the page to keep their memory alive but I don't think that happened for him.
My deepest condolences, Angela. 😞 This video really hit home, since I'm currently grieving the passing of my grandma, my uncle and my former work colleague. I'm sending you lots of love and strength. May your wonderful friend rest in peace and may his loving memory surround you like a warm hug.
Oh no, that's too many at one time. One is hard enough but three, he must be really going through it. Thank you for the love and strength, and sending some right back.
I miss him so much Ang 💔 He was like a brother to us and he gave everyone the world and put others first before himself. Still coping with his passing. I’m here if you need me😢
We are not taught to think of friends like people we love. Like people who can break our hearts. But losing friends is so painful. They are the family we choose, and not the one we tolerate.
I learned not too too long ago, the real meaning behind the saying 'blood is thicker than water'. That's the card family like to pull a lot when they think we are choosing friends over them. As it turns out that " has been distorted and changed over the years. The real quote is 'The covenant of the blood is thicker than the water of the womb.' meaning that We have stronger bonds with those we choose and bleed with than family. To be honest, that makes a ton more sense because the majority of my family are giant asshole, fail humans with the exception of a few and all of my friends are awesome.
@@angelabenedict Wow, that really got to me. I've got a mix of both my family of orgin as well. But my friends are all amazing. I feel like friends aren't even a good enough word for them. They are like soulmates, but in a platonic sense.
Im so so sorry for your lost, and know exactly how you are feeling right now. I lost a dear friend that knew since we were both 16 years old ,it’s been 5 years and it is still hard to believe he’s gone. Sending you a huge hug 🖤💜🖤
I'm so sorry to hear that. That was a friend from your formative years. You experienced life and growth together. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry deeply for your loss for both you and your husband. I understand your feelings of basically shock and how unfair this situation feels. My dad came home from work one day in 1990, took a shower, said he was feeling better than he had been in a long time (he had been dealing with chest & shoulder pain for a couple years) and an hour later he was gone from a heart attack. The just absolute level of shock everyone felt was palpable. He was only 46. Everyone, go to the doctor, please. In 2016 at the age of 41 I had been dealing with a few years of chest pain, anxiety and tachycardia. It took seeing 3 different doctors but I finally found one that ordered the right test and I found myself having a stent placed in my heart for 2 major blockages. Turns out, I was a few days away from having the same heart attack my dad had because there seems to be a congenital heart issue in my family that was unknown. Listen to your body, listen to family and friends when they tell you to see a doctor. They're telling you because they LOVE you. They aren't nagging. You're never "too young" for anything to possibly happen. And please, please, never take a single day for granted.
My Granddad came back from an event with the family, said he felt tired. Sat down in his favourite chair, went to sleep and never woke up. It was kinda creepy.
Thank you. I understand, what do you say what's something like this? I always struggle as well when I know someone has lost someone close, there's never anything to say that we're really help But it feels wrong saying nothing at all. That's a hard thing all around.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Angela. He looked like such a fun loving goofball. May he rest in peace. I lost both of my parents within 3 months of each other this year and my best friend 3 months before that, so I definitely know catastrophic loss. They are always with you. Take comfort in that.
He was definitely a character. When he was around, you knew it! I'm so sorry for what happened to you, that truly is catastrophic. I hope that you had friends and family around you to help you cope with this. You need an army of support after something like that.
Condolences to you and your husband. I do remember seeing him in your livestreams in the past and he always seemed like such a sweetheart. I lost a loved one a couple years back and it’s still painful to remember. Sending so much and support your way. You are very loved
I'm so sorry for your loss. He clearly bought a lot of joy and happiness to you and your partner's lives. Having experienced watching my closest friend of over 20 years pass away in hospital late last year I can empathise with what you're going through. Much love, thank you for sharing.
Angela, I’m so sorry for your loss😢. It’s not easy losing friends & I’ve lost far too many from my 20s onward. You never forget how they impacted your live & how much you will always love them. May you get some closure & peace. With💚, Jet 🧡🎸🎶⚡️🤘🦋🏍🦇🦇🦇🎃👻👻👻
@@angelabenedict - absolutely! We’re not taught a how to deal with friend losses; in my family barely taught how to deal with family as I was told there always w/ us. I know all my dear loved ones are w/ me; starting in around August/ September when the veil gets thin they start talking to me so I know they’re there. (One needs to stop, he fucked me big time & I forgave him but he keeps bugging me & he chose to take his life🙄.) I hope you get the same confirmation. With💚! Jet 😘🧡
@@angelabenedict - I think it’s because we choose friends unlike family. Wishing you healing; I have CPTSD as well & know all too well how hard it is to heal after such a shock. 😘🧡
Sending huge love your way, this is so incredibly hard to go through. We are going through this with my mums best friend. She went on holiday, went to bed feeling unwell, and never woke up. Absolutely devastating. Life is short. So much sympathy. I'm so so sorry Angela. My heart goes out to you.
Everybody grieves differently, and I know words don’t fix what you’re going through - but I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your friend with us. It’s wonderful that we get to hold onto these memories alongside you!
Thank you for watching! Honestly, I just wanted the rest of the world to see him for who he really was. That personality, his generosity. That whole performance he did with the food. That was just so intrinsically him. He wanted to make people happy and he was generous sometimes to a fault. Whenever we were having an event and he was coming over he would always ask what to bring and we had to be very careful on how we answered that. If you tell him nothing his brain simply could not accept that and he would end up in the grocery store and buy everything. So we figured out, after that video performance of him unloading all the groceries - if you tell him to bring a very specific item. Like for example can you bring two bags of tortilla chips and salsa. The worst he'll do is probably add some soda to the mix as well but that's it. If you allow him free rein, $300 later, you got a table full of food that you don't know what to do with. But that was just his generosity.
Those beautiful things we have in life, suddenly stolen from us, never to be replaced, leaving behind an emptiness, a void, nothing but a question mark that can never be answered. A silence where once lived character and a segment of time erased and re-directed. . We remain but nothing's the same and one day we too, will leave the same void, the same questions. Life is a mystery and every moment so precious, but memories remain that prove we were there.
It's the shock and the questions without answers that hurt the most. Sometimes I wonder if we had a definitive answer as to what happened and where he went, would this be any less traumatic and painful? Because at the moment it just feels senseless and cruel.
@@angelabenedict I think it will help but only time will heal. I often feel death is the ultimate sin because it feels like something that should never be done. I hope you come to terms with things and that life bestows a peace upon you.
So sorry for your loss Angela. Losing someone very close, especially the way you experienced it without a proper closure...must feel very surreal. It hits differently, when compared to someone passing away in a more common and natural way. Sending lots of virtual hugs on your way.
My heart goes out to your husband and you, friends and his family. Friends are family! The blood of the covenant is thicker then the water of the womb. Again, love and light to y'all.
Exactly! You're the first person that's ever used that term with me correctly lol. I've had douchey family try to play that blood is thicker than water nonsense with me when they were jerks, my friends were cooler and they were using the phrase wrong anyway! Thank you for the kind words.
Thank you so much 🖤 I'm hoping that definitive answers will provide some level of closure. It won't bring him back, we've certainly racked our brains with wacky ideas as to how we could make that possible but, for right now I think just knowing what happened to our friend will have to suffice.
I'm so sorry that this has happened to your friend and that you're going through this incredibly painful time. I too had a friend who died very suddenly 1 night, I was the very last person he spoke to. He was morbidly obese and his poor heart just couldn't take the strain any longer. He wasn't even 40. It was a painful time but I know that health was a key factor. I know it's not always considered acceptable to point something like that out but I think it's important to acknowledge, as it shows how incredibly important it is to keep yourself relatively fit and healthy - not fanatically so but extremes at either end are always so very risky and if that even hits home with 1 person..... I hope you can continue to look back at all the positives, you're so lucky to have all the photos and videos that you have of him, that can be a real comfort to you, Stuart and your friend's family too. Lots of love. C. XOXO
Angela, thank you for sharing this with us. The most important thing we have in life is connection. When we lose a person we have found such a deep connection with, it is devastating. Worse when it is so sudden and unexplained. The love you had for him shines through so brightly in this video and I hope that soon you will have some peace and some answers. Please share more memories if you can, he seems like an amazing man. I'm so sorry for your loss
I am in the Funeral Care industry, and I tell everyone who mentions it that growing more introspective as time passes is not a solitary phenomenon, even if may feel like it. I feel it too, and it's something that occurs with everyone who is bereaved. I try to balance each heavy worry with an equally fun memory. I don't believe our loved ones would wish unending grief on us. I give you and your loved ones my deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing this vulnerability with us, and thank you for advocating wellness (both physical and mental) to your viewers. Best wishes 🥺🖤
I am so very sorry for your loss, but glad you have wonderful memories to cherish of him in the good times you were able to share. I recently lost a childhood best friend on October 7 shortly after his 49th birthday and his memorial was today. You raise a very good point. Listen to your body, if something feels wrong get it checked out if you can, And don’t take any time with loved ones for granted.
I'm so sorry for your loss it's always sad when a young and amazing person is gone too soon. I lost my soulmate last year, and I thought I was the only one who downloaded ghost apps. lol, yeah, I would literally go to sleep with the necrophonic app playing hyperfixated much 😅 again. Sorry for your loss. You have an amazing memory of your last day with him cherish that. It sounds like he was the heart of your group without knowing it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that must be like. I guess sometimes the brain can't cope with the sudden disappearance of this person from literal existence that you look for alternative methods to reach out. It's like, okay if I can't text, I'm going to find alternative methods.
This is so tragic and I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand your sister standing in his parking place and looking for his ghost. I've done things like that. When I've had a loss that was so unfair and unexpected I find myself looking for evidence of their existence. Like I need something tangible to fill the hole the person left. You have wonderful memories of your friend and he did look like a fun guy to be around.
That's very kind of you to say, thank you. 🖤 That night we all went out together, he didn't realize that my sister has a major intolerance to alcohol. Where part Asian and apparently are tolerance to alcohol is where that shows up. She's far worse than I am as in, one drink will make her violently sick. That of course doesn't stop her and he bought her a drink and felt terrible as she sit on the floor with her eyes closed and headphones on her ears. He basically sat on the floor with her stroking her hand until she felt better. After that we went for breakfast and she remarked on how sweet and good natured he is. A few hours later when we found out what happened, since the memory of him comforting her on the floor was just a few hours before and then spending those next few hours having bagels and iced tea together - she too took it very very hard. She was the first one that suggested we download the app and try it. It seems interesting when the words pop up on the screen but then it sort of loses its effectiveness when you get a pop-up ad.
I'm so very sorry for your loss and hope you and your family can cope and still celebrate his life with the things he loved to do. I've had a very similar experience with a family friend, really it was my dad that had lost his childhood friend in such a similar way. I really wish people we care so much about would take health things serious, regardless if they hate doctors. The damage it causes when losing them is not mendable. At least he was with people he loved and had the time of his life.
I'm sorry for your loss Angela. That surrealism that you describe when losing someone close to you is tough to deal. Just like you opening up the E.V.P. app (dont know if its spelled like that), I use to ride by where a loved one was staying and I wouldn't be believe that he was gone for many years. It still doesn't feel like its real to this day.
he was genuinely just ✨vibing✨ and I'm so, so very glad that he had that time, and ya'll got to share the moment with him. My heart breaks at the abruptness of the loss, and for how much it's impacted ya'll. Words don't do much most of the time, but my thoughts are with you and my heart aches for your pain and at the loss of such a lovely soul 🖤
Really sad situation dear Angela and I can feel your pain and sadness in your voice and face. Sorry for your loss. My feelings are with you. Stay strong. 🖤
My condolences and hoping the best for your family 🖤 truly my heart goes out to you all and you’re right it’s a strange and almost enraging feeling having a friend go cuz they are such a constant in our lives. I wish nothing but healing for you all. And thank you for the reminder to mind our health.
He seemed like such a sweet, fun person. That video of him throwing groceries around reminded me of something my mom would do. Made me smile. I'm so sorry for your loss. May he rest peacefully. ♥Also wishing you and your family positivity and healing moving forward. The last year was my first time experiencing the losses of a couple really close to me, it doesn't feel fair. I still miss their presence daily.
He seemed like a ray of goth sunshine 🦇 his last day sounded like a beautiful one surrounded by people who care. So sorry for your loss!
Having my last memories be spending the night with friends, singing, dancing, throwing paper airplanes and laughing in the early hours of the morning, it’s horrible he’s gone but I can’t imagine a better way to spend my last night. I hope you’re all okay, sorry for your loss x
May his memory be a blessing ❤
We got some photo paper and we plan to print out his photos to make a collage. That way where ever we move, he comes along.
@@angelabenedict I know (from my experiences) that there are no words that can lessen the agony of your loss. I wish there were; I’d pour them into your heart. It’s not fair, you’re right. I’m sorry. This is the 3rd anniversary of my young, vibrant mum’s passing. Despite having insurance and frequent exams by specialists, her doctors committed medical negligence/malpractice. I know too well the torture from thoughts of “If only I had done this… I should’ve done this too… Why didn’t I do this…”. I’m so truly sorry you’re experiencing that! ♥️ It’s been 5 years since we lost my sister at only 16, and as I get closer to that age I’m scared of what I’ll feel. I can only tell you grief changes - but you know that already, having lost your dad when you were younger. I’m very sorry for that loss too! ♥️ Bless you, beloved “Auntie” Angela. May your joyful memories of him become a balm to soothe your pain. Waiting for the autopsy results is extremely hard! I think it really delays the healing and mourning process. I’m sorry ♥️
Cybergod died!? Omg! That SUCKS!!!!! I remember talking to him in your streams & having so much fun seeing what he had to say! I'm very very very so sorry for your loss. Hugs.
Even in text form, he was a force. It doesn't seem real.
I don't know of many resources in my area, but for anyone in Texas in or around San Antonio, the Arthur Nagel Clinic in Bandera is essentially a free clinic, they ask for donations but it's not mandatory (please donate if you can) there's no mandatory fee for visits, consultations, etc and they will do EVERYTHING in their power to help you get medication, treatment, tests, etc for as little cost to you as possible. EVERYONE put the patients AND families first and was friendly, compassionate, and helpful at all times. They WANT to help people.
Thanks, I needed this, for I’m in Texas/San Antonio too, & I’ve been trying to get checked out with stuff, so I appreciate it!
Nice message. Glad to know that not every medication needs money in USA. I wish that clinic to grow in future.
Seems like a fun dude. Rest in peace.
He was. He was a genuinely good human being. Hilarious and since he was such a constant feature here, it's now very quiet because he was the opposite.
Dude, this is so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
He'll definitely be missed. Thank you so much for the kind words 🖤
So sorry for your loss. Our health is definitely not something to play about it or put off, especially the older we get! He’s lucky he had people who loved and cared about him in all aspects. He will always be with you and your loved ones. Thank you for posting this to bring awareness but also give us an insight on who he was as a person. May he rest in peace 🕊️🖤
I'm really glad for that. I wanted to share that video from him on New Year's Eve with all of the groceries because that encompassed his personality so much. He was generous, almost to a fault. If we were having an event we had to make sure to tell him not to bring anything at all or just bring one thing and we would name that one thing very specifically because if you did not what you would end up with is that video you saw. He would spend nearly $300 on snacks for everyone. He just wanted to make people happy and showering them with drinks at clubs or snacks was kind of his way of doing that. When he did, he made sure to make a show of it because he was definitely not short on personality!
I have AFIB. These tachycardia type conditions are no joke. They say they don't kill you, but if you don't manage them and take meds and let your heart keep racing, that racing, weakens it until it's too late. Guys BEWARE.
Exactly. Anything that messes with the heart Is something that should never be ignored. Tachycardia is all around terrifying when you're experiencing it. Your chilling in your slippers, watching a film all cozy on your couch one minute, the next minute your heart decides to reenact the conditions of running down a hill full speed. That ain't normal. Those kinds of ups and downs and excessive pumping, it takes its toll.
Exactly. Im on metoprolol for it, and when I miss a dose I KNOW
@@k.a.2241 It's good to hear that you are consistent with your medication.
@@k.a.2241I take that too....pink pill....
i don't usually comment, but i want to give my condolences.. im truly so sorry ♡ much love to you
Thank you so much for commenting. Your condolences mean a lot. He will always be missed 🖤
oh man, he was the sweetest guy! 😢I'm so sorry for your loss Angela
Thank you. He's going to be missed forever🖤
Deeply, sorry for your loss 😢 🖤
Thank you 🖤
I'm sorry for your loss Angela. Keeping you in my blessings and sending love to you.
Thank you 🖤 Positive energy is always welcomed and appreciated 🖤
Thank you, Angela. I've also been experiencing chest pains for months now, but haven't done anything about it 'cause I'm stubborn and think that it'll just go away on its own. I have a doctors appointment coming up & i think i will tell my doctor about it. I am so sorry for your loss. You definitely gave him a family. 🖤💐
I’m so sorry for your loss, Angela. My sister passed away this January and it still doesn’t feel real. I’m sending love to you and your husband during this difficult time 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss. That's incredibly tough and painful. Siblings are like extensions of ourselves in a lot of ways. Sending you love and thoughts. 🖤
Thank you ❤️ it has been a rough year so far but I will live for her.
@@cheyennemarie6116 It hurts fiercely; I am sorry with all my heart!
As someone with a bad heart I truly am so sorry for your loss..I was told so many times I wouldn't make it out of my teens alive but I keep fighting everyday..Thank you for being there for ur friend and allowing him to fully be himself..sending warm cosmic hugs to you and ur hubby..🖤
I just got to the video of your friend goofing off. He seemed like such a gem. May he rest in peace. 🖤🥺
I still see him in that spot, acting like a crazy man. We loved the crap out of him.
I'm so sorry. I just lost my brother last year and then my grandpa this year. It really is sad how you can be with someone one second and then the next you never see them again. Sending hugs and all my love to you.
Oh no, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a sibling has to be gut-wrenching. It's almost like an extension of yourself. I'm so sorry For your grandfather as well. Grandpa's are special people, for sure. You never quite know what they're going to do. Mine used to like to pretend to steal batteries from the store and blame it on being senile because he was curious as to how much people could get away with when they're old. He was a funny guy. Thank you so much for all the kind words, I'm sending love and positive thoughts right back.
Been watching since I was 15 and Id like to thank you for always being so thoughtful and caring. You’ve introduced probably thousands of people to this subculture and its history.
That means a lot to me. Thank you so much for being part of the community 🖤
I'm so sorry. You all were lucky to have each other. It looks like you have a beautiful group of friends.
Thank you 🖤 Honestly, I feel fortunate every day for the friends that I have. They're awesome. 🖤
I'm so so sorry about everything you're going through and for your loss. Sending lots of love your way 🖤
Thank you 🖤 I will happily accept love and well wishes. 🖤
I'm so very sorry you're going through this. Deepest condolences 🖤
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Im so sorry angela. bless you, truly.
Thank you 🖤
Angela am so sorry for your loss am legit tearing up writing this. I’ll pray a Rosary for him you and your family 😢🙏🏼💔🖤
Thank you so much 🖤 I really appreciate it. 🖤
I always learn from you and this experience is no different. Sending you and your husband my deepest condolences. This video gave me cause to reflect on lost friends. I’m grateful to you and to be a part of this community.
It makes me happy to hear that you do Get positive experiences from my content and the community. Thank you for the kind words. I'm truly sorry for the friends that you've lost. It's never easy.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone we love, or close to, isn't easy. I've been fortunate enough to be apart of this community for the last 7 months now. And it's because of people like you, that i feel that the Goth community is the place where i belong.
So sorry to hear that. 🖤
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OMG! I HAD NO IDEA. I have him as a Facebook friend and had no idea that he passed. How horrifically horrible!
😧😣😢💔💔💔
My sincerest and utmost heartfelt condolences to you, his family and to all who knew him and loved him well.
🖤🕯🖤
I know, a lot of people didn't. Usually they have this feature where Facebook has a legacy to pass so others know what happened and then a close family member can take over the page to keep their memory alive but I don't think that happened for him.
I'm so sorry for your loss noble Angela. Sending positive energy. 🖤
Thank you so much. 🖤
My deepest condolences, Angela. 😞
This video really hit home, since I'm currently grieving the passing of my grandma, my uncle and my former work colleague. I'm sending you lots of love and strength. May your wonderful friend rest in peace and may his loving memory surround you like a warm hug.
Oh no, that's too many at one time. One is hard enough but three, he must be really going through it. Thank you for the love and strength, and sending some right back.
I'm just here crying and I didn't even know him but seeing the videos and hearing about him it really hit. I am so sorry for your loss 😔
I miss him so much Ang 💔 He was like a brother to us and he gave everyone the world and put others first before himself. Still coping with his passing. I’m here if you need me😢
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you good vibes. 🖤
Thank you. Good vibes are always welcome and appreciated. 🖤
Condolences and best wishes to you and your loved ones 🖤
Thank you 🖤
We are not taught to think of friends like people we love. Like people who can break our hearts. But losing friends is so painful. They are the family we choose, and not the one we tolerate.
I learned not too too long ago, the real meaning behind the saying 'blood is thicker than water'. That's the card family like to pull a lot when they think we are choosing friends over them. As it turns out that " has been distorted and changed over the years. The real quote is 'The covenant of the blood is thicker than the water of the womb.' meaning that We have stronger bonds with those we choose and bleed with than family. To be honest, that makes a ton more sense because the majority of my family are giant asshole, fail humans with the exception of a few and all of my friends are awesome.
@@angelabenedict Wow, that really got to me. I've got a mix of both my family of orgin as well. But my friends are all amazing. I feel like friends aren't even a good enough word for them. They are like soulmates, but in a platonic sense.
Im so so sorry for your lost, and know exactly how you are feeling right now. I lost a dear friend that knew since we were both 16 years old ,it’s been 5 years and it is still hard to believe he’s gone. Sending you a huge hug 🖤💜🖤
I'm so sorry to hear that. That was a friend from your formative years. You experienced life and growth together. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you I'm so sorry.
@@angelabenedict Thank you, Yes, It truly sucks 💔
I'm so sorry deeply for your loss for both you and your husband. I understand your feelings of basically shock and how unfair this situation feels. My dad came home from work one day in 1990, took a shower, said he was feeling better than he had been in a long time (he had been dealing with chest & shoulder pain for a couple years) and an hour later he was gone from a heart attack. The just absolute level of shock everyone felt was palpable. He was only 46. Everyone, go to the doctor, please. In 2016 at the age of 41 I had been dealing with a few years of chest pain, anxiety and tachycardia. It took seeing 3 different doctors but I finally found one that ordered the right test and I found myself having a stent placed in my heart for 2 major blockages. Turns out, I was a few days away from having the same heart attack my dad had because there seems to be a congenital heart issue in my family that was unknown. Listen to your body, listen to family and friends when they tell you to see a doctor. They're telling you because they LOVE you. They aren't nagging. You're never "too young" for anything to possibly happen. And please, please, never take a single day for granted.
My Granddad came back from an event with the family, said he felt tired. Sat down in his favourite chair, went to sleep and never woke up. It was kinda creepy.
I'm so glad you're still here. Kudos to you for being persistent and listening to your body
He was a very chill person Angela. Rest In Peace CyberGod🕊️🕊️
I'm sorry. I hope you are doing ok. Your content also got me back into the Goth scene.❤
I'm happy to hear that I was able to help you 🖤
I'm so sorry, Angela. There are just no words.
Thank you. I understand, what do you say what's something like this? I always struggle as well when I know someone has lost someone close, there's never anything to say that we're really help But it feels wrong saying nothing at all. That's a hard thing all around.
I'm so so sorry for your loss, Angela. He looked like such a fun loving goofball. May he rest in peace. I lost both of my parents within 3 months of each other this year and my best friend 3 months before that, so I definitely know catastrophic loss. They are always with you. Take comfort in that.
He was definitely a character. When he was around, you knew it! I'm so sorry for what happened to you, that truly is catastrophic. I hope that you had friends and family around you to help you cope with this. You need an army of support after something like that.
My condolences 🖤
And thank you for raising awareness about the importance of staying on top of your health. We only have one body.
Condolences to you and your husband. I do remember seeing him in your livestreams in the past and he always seemed like such a sweetheart. I lost a loved one a couple years back and it’s still painful to remember. Sending so much and support your way. You are very loved
I'm so sorry for your loss, Angela
Thank you 🖤
Hoping you get a nice long streak of happy stuff soon.
Thank you. I've got the palo santo and I'm smoking literally everything. 🖤
Sorry for your loss!
🖤Thank you🖤
So so sorry for your and your husband's loss. My condolences. At least you had him while he was here. Cherish that at least. Take care.
Mike was so awesome on the live streams. I am so sorry Angela and Stuart. My heart goes out to you both. 🖤
I'm so sorry for your loss. He clearly bought a lot of joy and happiness to you and your partner's lives. Having experienced watching my closest friend of over 20 years pass away in hospital late last year I can empathise with what you're going through. Much love, thank you for sharing.
Angela, I’m so sorry for your loss😢. It’s not easy losing friends & I’ve lost far too many from my 20s onward. You never forget how they impacted your live & how much you will always love them. May you get some closure & peace. With💚, Jet 🧡🎸🎶⚡️🤘🦋🏍🦇🦇🦇🎃👻👻👻
Friends are difficult. It's like they take up a special place in the heart and hit different.
@@angelabenedict - absolutely! We’re not taught a how to deal with friend losses; in my family barely taught how to deal with family as I was told there always w/ us. I know all my dear loved ones are w/ me; starting in around August/ September when the veil gets thin they start talking to me so I know they’re there. (One needs to stop, he fucked me big time & I forgave him but he keeps bugging me & he chose to take his life🙄.) I hope you get the same confirmation. With💚! Jet 😘🧡
@@angelabenedict - I think it’s because we choose friends unlike family. Wishing you healing; I have CPTSD as well & know all too well how hard it is to heal after such a shock. 😘🧡
Loosing a loved and cherished family member is always hard! 💜
May he rest in peace knowing he was loved 💜💜
😢
Very sorry to hear this news. Condolences to you, your husband and your friends and family.
Thank you for your kind words. We're slowly getting through it. Shock is a powerful thing.
Sorry for your loss 🖤
Thank you 🖤
I am so sorry for the loss. He was a beautiful soul. Praying for the family. Sending hugs.
Sending huge love your way, this is so incredibly hard to go through. We are going through this with my mums best friend. She went on holiday, went to bed feeling unwell, and never woke up. Absolutely devastating. Life is short. So much sympathy. I'm so so sorry Angela. My heart goes out to you.
Everybody grieves differently, and I know words don’t fix what you’re going through - but I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your friend with us. It’s wonderful that we get to hold onto these memories alongside you!
Thank you for watching! Honestly, I just wanted the rest of the world to see him for who he really was. That personality, his generosity. That whole performance he did with the food. That was just so intrinsically him. He wanted to make people happy and he was generous sometimes to a fault. Whenever we were having an event and he was coming over he would always ask what to bring and we had to be very careful on how we answered that. If you tell him nothing his brain simply could not accept that and he would end up in the grocery store and buy everything. So we figured out, after that video performance of him unloading all the groceries - if you tell him to bring a very specific item. Like for example can you bring two bags of tortilla chips and salsa. The worst he'll do is probably add some soda to the mix as well but that's it. If you allow him free rein, $300 later, you got a table full of food that you don't know what to do with. But that was just his generosity.
Those beautiful things we have in life, suddenly stolen from us, never to be replaced, leaving behind an emptiness, a void, nothing but a question mark that can never be answered. A silence where once lived character and a segment of time erased and re-directed. . We remain but nothing's the same and one day we too, will leave the same void, the same questions. Life is a mystery and every moment so precious, but memories remain that prove we were there.
It's the shock and the questions without answers that hurt the most. Sometimes I wonder if we had a definitive answer as to what happened and where he went, would this be any less traumatic and painful? Because at the moment it just feels senseless and cruel.
@@angelabenedict I think it will help but only time will heal. I often feel death is the ultimate sin because it feels like something that should never be done. I hope you come to terms with things and that life bestows a peace upon you.
So very sorry for your loss my friend. Sending much love to you both.
Thank you 🖤 Just waiting on those answers. Hopefully it provides some closure.
My condolences, I'm truly sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your memories about him and may he rest in peace.
I am so, genuinely sorry for your loss. This video touched me deeply. I hope you will be alright.
Thank you so much for watching. It means a lot that you got to see who he truly was. 🖤
So sorry for your loss Angela. Losing someone very close, especially the way you experienced it without a proper closure...must feel very surreal. It hits differently, when compared to someone passing away in a more common and natural way.
Sending lots of virtual hugs on your way.
"A Cybergoth shaped hole" I was searching for the words to describe that kind of grief, like a world full of empty spaces. So sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss, my condolences. Sending much Love & Support, stay strong Angela! 🖤
My condolences. Losing someone close is always difficult. It makes every moment spent with them that much more special in retrospect.
Be well🖤
Sorry for your loss
I'm so sorry for your loss Angela. 💔
Thank you 🖤
*virtual hug*
Thank you 🖤
So sorry for your loss, condolences to you and your husband, your mutual friends and his family.
Thank you 🖤
My heart goes out to your husband and you, friends and his family.
Friends are family! The blood of the covenant is thicker then the water of the womb.
Again, love and light to y'all.
Exactly! You're the first person that's ever used that term with me correctly lol. I've had douchey family try to play that blood is thicker than water nonsense with me when they were jerks, my friends were cooler and they were using the phrase wrong anyway! Thank you for the kind words.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for giving a beautiful soul a family and community. Take all the time you need.
Sorry for your loss. Praying everyone impacted finds closure.
Thank you so much 🖤 I'm hoping that definitive answers will provide some level of closure. It won't bring him back, we've certainly racked our brains with wacky ideas as to how we could make that possible but, for right now I think just knowing what happened to our friend will have to suffice.
Condolences to you, your husband and your friends. Losing someone so close is hard❤❤❤
I'm so sorry that this has happened to your friend and that you're going through this incredibly painful time.
I too had a friend who died very suddenly 1 night, I was the very last person he spoke to. He was morbidly obese and his poor heart just couldn't take the strain any longer. He wasn't even 40. It was a painful time but I know that health was a key factor. I know it's not always considered acceptable to point something like that out but I think it's important to acknowledge, as it shows how incredibly important it is to keep yourself relatively fit and healthy - not fanatically so but extremes at either end are always so very risky and if that even hits home with 1 person.....
I hope you can continue to look back at all the positives, you're so lucky to have all the photos and videos that you have of him, that can be a real comfort to you, Stuart and your friend's family too.
Lots of love. C. XOXO
Angela, thank you for sharing this with us. The most important thing we have in life is connection. When we lose a person we have found such a deep connection with, it is devastating. Worse when it is so sudden and unexplained. The love you had for him shines through so brightly in this video and I hope that soon you will have some peace and some answers. Please share more memories if you can, he seems like an amazing man. I'm so sorry for your loss
I am in the Funeral Care industry, and I tell everyone who mentions it that growing more introspective as time passes is not a solitary phenomenon, even if may feel like it. I feel it too, and it's something that occurs with everyone who is bereaved. I try to balance each heavy worry with an equally fun memory. I don't believe our loved ones would wish unending grief on us.
I give you and your loved ones my deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing this vulnerability with us, and thank you for advocating wellness (both physical and mental) to your viewers.
Best wishes 🥺🖤
I'm sorry for your tragic loss and a rough year, I hope your holding up, condolences x
Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm hanging in there, for sure.
@angelabenedict no problem speak for everyone when I say we are all rooting for you 🖤
I am so sorry for your loss, he seemed like such a vibrant and joyous soul 🖤
So sorry for your loss Angela. Sending love and healing vibes your way.❤
I am so very sorry for your loss, but glad you have wonderful memories to cherish of him in the good times you were able to share. I recently lost a childhood best friend on October 7 shortly after his 49th birthday and his memorial was today. You raise a very good point. Listen to your body, if something feels wrong get it checked out if you can, And don’t take any time with loved ones for granted.
I’m so sorry for your loss, prayers out to you
I'm so sorry for your loss. This reminds me of a friend of mine who passed suddenly four years ago. It still doesn't feel real.
I'm so sorry... Sending love and blessings ❤❤🥺🥺
Thank you for the love and well wishes. They're greatly appreciated and welcomed 🖤
I'm sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences. Hail the Traveler 🖤🖤🖤
I'm so sorry for your loss it's always sad when a young and amazing person is gone too soon. I lost my soulmate last year, and I thought I was the only one who downloaded ghost apps. lol, yeah, I would literally go to sleep with the necrophonic app playing hyperfixated much 😅 again. Sorry for your loss. You have an amazing memory of your last day with him cherish that. It sounds like he was the heart of your group without knowing it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that must be like. I guess sometimes the brain can't cope with the sudden disappearance of this person from literal existence that you look for alternative methods to reach out. It's like, okay if I can't text, I'm going to find alternative methods.
This is so tragic and I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand your sister standing in his parking place and looking for his ghost. I've done things like that. When I've had a loss that was so unfair and unexpected I find myself looking for evidence of their existence. Like I need something tangible to fill the hole the person left. You have wonderful memories of your friend and he did look like a fun guy to be around.
That's very kind of you to say, thank you. 🖤 That night we all went out together, he didn't realize that my sister has a major intolerance to alcohol. Where part Asian and apparently are tolerance to alcohol is where that shows up. She's far worse than I am as in, one drink will make her violently sick. That of course doesn't stop her and he bought her a drink and felt terrible as she sit on the floor with her eyes closed and headphones on her ears. He basically sat on the floor with her stroking her hand until she felt better. After that we went for breakfast and she remarked on how sweet and good natured he is. A few hours later when we found out what happened, since the memory of him comforting her on the floor was just a few hours before and then spending those next few hours having bagels and iced tea together - she too took it very very hard. She was the first one that suggested we download the app and try it. It seems interesting when the words pop up on the screen but then it sort of loses its effectiveness when you get a pop-up ad.
I’m sorry for your loss . Your right always cherish those loved ones in your life because life is way too short . Hugs 🖤💜🖤
I'm so very sorry for your loss and hope you and your family can cope and still celebrate his life with the things he loved to do. I've had a very similar experience with a family friend, really it was my dad that had lost his childhood friend in such a similar way. I really wish people we care so much about would take health things serious, regardless if they hate doctors. The damage it causes when losing them is not mendable. At least he was with people he loved and had the time of his life.
I'm sorry for your loss Angela. That surrealism that you describe when losing someone close to you is tough to deal. Just like you opening up the E.V.P. app (dont know if its spelled like that), I use to ride by where a loved one was staying and I wouldn't be believe that he was gone for many years. It still doesn't feel like its real to this day.
he was genuinely just ✨vibing✨ and I'm so, so very glad that he had that time, and ya'll got to share the moment with him. My heart breaks at the abruptness of the loss, and for how much it's impacted ya'll. Words don't do much most of the time, but my thoughts are with you and my heart aches for your pain and at the loss of such a lovely soul 🖤
I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 sending you lots of love hugs and prayers 🩷🙏
Really sad situation dear Angela and I can feel your pain and sadness in your voice and face. Sorry for your loss.
My feelings are with you. Stay strong. 🖤
My condolences and hoping the best for your family 🖤 truly my heart goes out to you all and you’re right it’s a strange and almost enraging feeling having a friend go cuz they are such a constant in our lives. I wish nothing but healing for you all. And thank you for the reminder to mind our health.
Angela, so very sorry for your loss.
He seemed like such a sweet, fun person. That video of him throwing groceries around reminded me of something my mom would do. Made me smile. I'm so sorry for your loss. May he rest peacefully. ♥Also wishing you and your family positivity and healing moving forward. The last year was my first time experiencing the losses of a couple really close to me, it doesn't feel fair. I still miss their presence daily.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you 🖤
Another thing Angie '' no goodbyes, just good memories'' 🐱🐱
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤
Thank you 🖤
RIP Cybergod. We could feel his love through the screen in the chat 🌹
Going back to the last save point. I needed that today, thank you Mama Bat. Im so sorry for your loss.
Sometimes we all need to go back to the last save point.
Oh hun! My heart goes out to you and your family! Big hugs. ❤🫂