Public transport meltdown/shutdown - Autism unmasking
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024
- I don't often use public transport as I find it overwhelming. Since actively unmasking I have become more aware of what is going on for me and today I realised just how tilted public transport can be for me. Perhaps today was an exceptional experience and I was just unlucky, or maybe this is exactly how I have felt many times before but only now I am able to make sense of it. Going to need a better plan for future public transport experiences!
Thank you so so much for watching and sharing, it helps massively!
Some people use ear plugs or headphones to help block out some of the noise in a crowded setting. The hood might be a good idea if it's not too warm. Dark glasses could make it feel less intense when people are crowding in on you and it might make you seem like you would be less open to being spoken to. You don't want to interact with other people when you are starting to feel overwhelmed. You have a good idea about planning the trip out better and maybe scouting out the "safest" place to sit in the train or bus. A day-old newspaper placed as barrier between you and a seat might help to make the experience less unpleasant. Your phone or an interesting book could offer a welcome distraction from the sensory onslaught. I hope that your trip goes better for you Gina as you learn what works best for you.
Thank you for sharing. I have discovered noise cancelling headphones, which literally changed my world. When I wear them in the airport it makes me feel like I am in my own bubble. Not sure if that is good or bad, but it definitely is less stressful.
I liked your description of disliking the motion of buses. I am the exact opposite the movement is enjoyable and helps me feel more regulated. Just now realizing that giving up that control of my movement somehow lightens the overload of other senses. Which is weird because I really like being in control of the things and people around me. I'm guessing it is like a stem for me perhaps.
I, too, am becoming aware of my sensory issues when I am in overstimulating environments. I agree that this new awareness feels scary. I also must have masked my way through those horrendous situations in the past. I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me to know that I am not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so sorry this happened to you. The tips others have offered in the comments are helpful.
I'm very thankful you posted this video because this is how I feel around a lot of people and when I go on public transport, it was awful when I had to go to school as a teenager with the whole bus filled with other teenagers and I really struggle to be around strangers, there are so many sensory issues with that and I hate being perceived. I need a lot of space. I don't know if I could do it now, I want to go to places by bus but since I started unmasking I'm much more aware of how I react and what really happens in my brain. I think it will be very hard but it's also good to prepare like you're saying so we make it easier and to recover and be honest about how we feel.
I don't think I can provide any tips but I do think what you lay out in terms of planning will help considerably. Its certainly what I would try.
Your thoughts on how you used to operate masking versus now is helpful to me. I am very negative about unmasking currently as I am worried I am far less resilient. What you describe about using up everything during the day and being in a bad mood at home is relatable and being able to both work/commute but still have energy for home would be the ideal. And maybe you will still reach this. I also hope that unmasking at 1st is like being unfit but as you increase your activities you develop a sort of increased energy with your unmasking (getting fitter). This may just be due to refining ones planning as you describe but any way to increase this energy appeals to me.
Thank you for sharing. I can relate with struggling to talk about something i experienced like that. Bc it's like having to re-live it again. You are brave. I can't handle public transportation. That blasted pigeon! I had a meltdown a couple days ago in front of my husband and son
Yes, I knew that if I was going to share this experience then I needed to do it straight away because I want to forget about it except as a reminder that I need to plan more proactively in the future. I haven't had a meltdown like that for a while so it's shaken me up a bit.
@@TheGreatReveal i can understand. Thank you for sharing your experiences. I do that on my channel too. We need more people to be willing to share so we all feel less alone and more understood❤️
ive never ever been on public transport by myself. i will only go with a companion. and im proud of my accomplishments. the crowds, the personal space invasion, the smells, the lights, the noise, the commotion, the dirt, the waiting, the movement, the navigating. the hot seat made me want to dissociate. no thanks. my tip is...we need allistic public transportation and autistic non public transportation.
Oh wouldn't that be wonderful!
Sympathies, public transport is its own special circle of hell for anyone with any sort of sensitivities. I relied on it for three decades and it seemed to me that people just got less and less bearable over time on account of increasingly selfish attitudes and ignorant behaviour.
That said, hypervigilance and masking are absolutely necessary to survive public transit. It gets easier to make pragmatic adaptations the more often that one uses it (and you're absolutely spot on re: hood up, hair back, and managing space); but considering the added burden this puts on you after a day's work and the cumulative load of regularly enduring the transit experience, it may be worth asking for a remote work accommodation or adjusted schedule to avoid rush hour.
Even when one successfully establishes a bearable transit routine there is always some random chaotic factor that will threaten one's composure, and subjecting oneself to that perpetually unpredictable environment gets old fast. It's absurd that any human being should be expected to simultaneously maintain both hypervigilance and unobtrusiveness but to ask that of already-masking neurodivergents is just insane. I second the suggestion re: headphones and advise adding some "extreme" metal music to your commute playlists so that you can have a virtual sensory release as needed (evidently this tactic is very common among we AuDHDs.)
I'll spare you my 30 years of transit horror stories; suffice to say you're definitely not alone!
It is absolutely exhausting constantly being on hypervigilance. I feel for you with 30 years of public transport, I am very grateful I do not have this anymore as I am working remotely, but I need to better prepare myself for when I do go on public transport to reduce the overload.