I'm 60, and started sewing when I was 10. Started sewing for 'pin money' 40 years ago. As a member of the SCA, I've gone to classes to stretch my knowledge on other fiber related skills. In one of those classes, I learned to spin. I felt like a cack handed 3 year old. My yarn was lumpy, thick, thin, and the only thing consistent about it was that it was cream coloured. It was a wonderful class, and I still have that first bit of yarn. One of the instructors also noticed something that I had never thought about, but to this day makes a great deal of difference. I'm 'right-handed'. Or at least I always thought that I was. As she was working with me, she asked me why I was spinning 'off-handed'. I didn't know what she meant. She put the wool and spindle in a left orientation and it was like a switch was tripped. My second attempt was pretty good. She just smiled at me, and has called me Lefty ever since. A month or so later, I asked my mom when I started being 'right handed', and she explained that I hadn't decided which hand to use, so the teacher decided for me. (lightbulb moment!) Since then, I've learned that many things that I have issues with right-handed make far more sense when I use my left.
Oh Jaye, you are that rarest of the rare...ambidextrous! I'm aggressively left, and the problems I've encountered have forced adaptations I never would have thought. Do try left handed tools, they might prove amazingly comfortable to you. My left handed scissors are the most zealously guarded tool I own. Carefully hidden and lovingly stored, I'll never part with them.
@@DodiTov I have been exploring left handed tools. Two of the biggest discoveries were a left-handed Inkle loom, and... that I could switch my mouse to the left! I've recently gotten a pair of left handed scissors. :)
Oh yes, 63 and got the ruler smack. But I got one up on that teacher, I do 80 percent of tasks with either hand, especially mechanical tasks. So does my son who was left handed and decided he wanted to be like mom and be able to use both hands. Comes in very handy😁
@@evestone5361 Cool. It certainly does help to be able to use both hands. My #3 son is an OMG lefty. When he was having issues writing, I found him a left hand nib fountain pen. He wore it out. He's learned over time to use his right as he is a chef.
Jaye Sudar I spin left and right handed! I am self taught and just did what felt right to me which was mostly left handed. I switch back and forth for plying too. I thought I was the only one! My grandmother knit and sewed left handed, but she was a school teacher so she had to write with her right hand to teach. I think she was probably ambidextrous too!
About 20 years ago, when I started to study Japanese, I was standing on the metro platform and saw a Japanese girl. I decided just to talk to her in Japanese. She was surprised and delighted to speak to someone in her own language. I'm fluent now, but back then that little step forward, that little courageous act helped me understand that it was ok not to speak perfectly. It helped me on the way to getting where I am now with my proficiency.
One of the reasons a lot of beginners in anything, really, me included, are afraid of being a begginner are people treating you Like you should already know whatever it is you are asking *cough* teachers and profesors *cough*. You are treated like a moron for asking. Probably the best advice I've been given (well, maybe not THE best, but it is up there) was in my second anatomy lecture in uni. 'Ask questions. And I'm not going to say there are no stupid questions-there are INCREDIBLY stupid questions. But you are at the beginning of your medical journey and it is better to ask a stupid question now then to do a stupid thing later.' So many other profesors were the type to shame you for asking things 'You should have already learned that, how are you studying medicine and don't already know??'. But that professor? You could've point to a femur ask 'Is that part od the leg?' and she'd still answer without shaming you. She was amazing.
I do computer programming for a living. One of the first things I tell any new programmers I interact with is "There's no stupid questions, only stupid answers." Because if you legit don't understand something, the question isn't stupid. And if I can't explain it in a way that makes sense, that's on me, not them.
@@tajhamarleau6700 I think that my professor was refering to those 'is bone made out of bone tissue?' types of questions. But for the most part I do also agree with your sentiment. One time one brave soul asked one professor somethinga ne je went on long tangent on how we should already know it and how stupid se are for not knowing it and then another brave soul Said 'BUT WE HAVEN'T LEARNED THAT YET!'. Only then did the profesore realize that the module the thing on question was supposed to be taught in only came AFTER his module. He did apologize however and procedeed to ask whether we already learned stuff related to the topic of every following lecture.
@@elenanojkovic2554 Tbh, if I got a "is bone made out of bone tissue?" kind of question, it *would* probably give me pause for a moment, but then I'd answer and ask questions of my own to try to figure out why they asked something so seemingly silly. There's usually an interesting thought process behind those kinds of questions. Either that or there's some strange misinformation going around. XD
I always say the only truly stupid question is the one that isn't asked, because you'll never know the answer to it. I've also found that some question sound stupid because people struggle to formulate it in words. It's hard to know what you don't know when you don't know...
@@Dwynfal Not knowing what you don't know is rough. I came up with an analogy about that long ago after dealing with people who were supposed to be teaching me, but expected me to just ask questions. It's like being in a dark room and told to ask questions. I don't even know where to start asking. Let me at least get a nightlight on in here first so I can have somewhere to start.
Mary Coffin, that´s right! I always ask the „dumb question“. And every time i ask it, i look around. And there is always someone looking glad, thinking “thank goodness, someone is asking that!”
I'm a librarian and one of my duties is helping patrons use our computers (or at least was before the plague). I frequently heard people telling me that they were stupid for not knowing how to use one. I would tell them that the only reason that I know a little more than them is that I use them everyday and have for decades. Most people are more capable than they think they are. It's the ones that think that they know everything that are scary. I am definitely one who gets paralyzed by the fear of failing. I had not sewn in years, but decided to make masks for the family this spring. I was surprised how difficult it was to cut out that fabric. I was terrified of making a mistake. I watched a video over and over again and read the very limited instructions a few times and actually made a mask that fitted to my face and looked OK. I even added the touch of sewing an ornament hanger wire into the mask to make it fit better. Then I made a few more. It's just a cotton mask, but I felt great when it was finished. Now I'm thinking about taking a sewing class.
As an instructor, I love beginners and beginner's questions. So many of their classmates benefit from beginner's questions. It helps to remind myself of this when I am at the beginning of something.
When I see a fellow student's hand go down in class, I'll just skip right to the point. "If you have a question, there's a good chance someone else has that same question, so you might as well ask now." It always gets them to ask their question, and more often than not I myself benefit from the instructor's answer that follows, or at lest the peek into the other student's thought process. Questions are more important than we give them credit for.
When I taught myself to weld, my dad wasn't around enough to teach me, so he gave me one 30 minute lesson. Now over 15 years later I get mad when people say "you are so talented, you can just do anything. I wish I could do that." I get mad because it isn't talent, it was 15 years of failing! Countless hours of welds that were no good, but I kept failing until my welds were good. But through all that time, I never hated my failures because everyone is slightly better than the last. I loved this video, thank you. ❤❤❤
I still need to learn welding! My Dad was hot rod mechanic, and whenever I feel bad for not learning things from him I remember that he just put a lot of time into it, and he made most of his mistakes before I was around to see them.
@@Velostigmat You should learn, I only know how to stick weld. But you should learn, there are lots of videos on TH-cam these days, and used welders are cheaper than you would think.
I've always wanted to weld. I go to sign up for a class and they won't let me because I'm a girl. That makes me mad. I'd love to do craft items to sale. 💜Connie Smith in Salt Lake City Utah.
@@conniesmith3169 That makes me so mad!!! Metallica (the band) set up grants at a college here, it is for women who want a degree in welding or machining. Just by a welder and start watching TH-cam videos, I know you can do it! If you were in Kansas I would teach you what I know.
Hi Cathy, I am a beginner in sewing historic/vintage costume, but not new to sewing. I have made a few first dresses that even as a person who has sewn modern clothes for years, my venture into costume sewing is not perfect and completely new. I am so thankful to you and all those in the costuming community that make these encouraging videos about being a beginner and where tobstart. You have really helped me get the confidence and drive to start and keep trying and failing forward. To answer your question of one way in which I think I have been a good beginner, I have to tell you about the time I made my first 1920s 1 hour dress. I had no pattern and was drafting it from an article I found online from and old magazine. The armscye was drafted too short. Suffice to say, I got stuck in the dress mockup and my husband had to come and cut me out of the dress. There I was with my arms stuck in the air and the dress over my upper half of my body was just stuck. I had never drafted anything before. I didn’t even like altering patterns. But I wanted to make this dress so bad that after me and my husband had a good laugh, I vowed to conquer this simple 1920s 1 hour pattern and I did. I have since made 3. This is probably the most simple pattern to but being able to complete this dress makes me feel like I have joined the costuming community.
i recently unlocked the ability to knit! i have been trying to learn how to knit for almost 17 years now, always stuck at the most basic beginner level. i could cast on, knit a few rows then suddenly end up creating a whole bunch of new stitches out of nowhere, and I just could not get my hands to purl for the life of me. almost every year I get the urge to try learning again and every year I just don't understand and put it down again. the urge hit again this year just after my birthday and at first I thought "no, don't even bother. if you haven't gotten it by now you aren't ever going to get it." but then i realized that's a really mean thing to say to yourself. i grabbed my old needles, a dusty ball of yarn from the closet, and sat down and tried again. i began, started knitting a few rows, but i wasn't adding new stitches. i got comfortable just doing that for a bit before i got to the dreaded purl. i gave it a shot and guess what, it clicked. it finally made sense. after 17 years of trying it FINALLY made sense. it made sense enough that i was able to learn how to complete my project and not unravel it. is it great? not even close, but its something i was able to actually make. im just so excited and happy to finally have been able to get it to click after so long of trying, and that i can finally get to the fun stuff like following a pattern. i really think the thing that allowed me to finally get it to click was changing my mentality. stop being so mean to myself, allowing myself to just try and not caring about the outcome. you really can be your own worst enemy when it comes to learning new things. be nice to yourself and don't give up. it may take you a day to learn or it may take you 17 years, just keep trying.
I have a knitting mantra: in, around, through and off. I say it for every stitch - not out loud these days but it's still there in my mind. My older sisters, both accomplished knitters would tease me mercilessly, but the mantra got me through! 😂
So glad it finally clicked!! My first project was a dishcloth for my mom, which she loving teased by saying it looked like it grew a whole lot of tumors! I hope you love your new step in the journey with the craft. 💛
I also just re-taught myself to knit! I was “good enough” as a kid when my mum taught me the basics (but she quickly got frustrated with me). Recently, I had the revelation of “I can sew... but I don’t want to buy another ready-to-wear sweater anytime soon.” So I just... practiced. Now on my way to knitting my first cardigan and I’m so excited!
smallishkae oh, you can do it!! I haven’t bought a machine made cardigan in nearly 4 years. They aren’t nearly as hard as they seem, especially if you start with a fairly basic pattern like a top down raglan.
You're such a wonderful inspiration, Cathy! I've wanted to learn to sew for YEARS but I've never made the time to do so. Since losing my job due to COVID, I found the wonderful historical dress community here and have fallen in LOVE (I went to Uni for History, so of course this is possibly the best thing ever in my eyes). I'm a total beginner, I've never sewed anything. Because money is tight right now, instead of buying supplies to start I've taken to doing what I do best: research. The other day I had the most amazing moment watching a video because I knew the names of THREE WHOLE STITCHES before the person said what they are! I literally did a little dance on my couch because I KNEW SOMETHING! Three weeks in and I'm excited that I knew something off the cuff! :D
I have a similar beginning! I’m a very research oriented person in the first place, but I think I watched CosTube and historical & vintage sewing videos for 6 months before I ever actually picked up a needle and thread. By the time that first project came around it felt like such a breeze because of the base knowledge I had going in. My next project is going to involve a little bit of self drafting and draping because I want to make a 40s version of a 70s pinafore I saw on an etsy listing, so I’ve ordered a couple books and I plan on watching as many videos as I can find about draping before I every go to a mock up. I know not everyone out there can learn this way, but it’s fun knowing there are other people out there who are starting out the way I did :) I hope you find work soon and can afford to make all the projects you can dream up!
Same here - thanks, Covid! I lost my job and suddenly got lots and lots of time... thanks to discovering the costuming community on Instagram I know what to do with all that time!
Cathy, I wish I'd seen this years ago when I was still studying ballet in New York. I was certainly not a beginner by the time I got there, but I had worked so hard for so long (15 hours a day, 6 days a week since I was 9...) That I was so, so tired. For every thing I got right I ground down harder on myself because it wasn't ALL right, that I entirely burned myself out. I wish I had the advice to find inspiration to keep going and to reward myself. But even now as I painstakingly fell stitch every seam on this stupid 18th century men's shirt (thanks Bernadette Banner) I've sat here and watched your videos about the Peacock gown and dreamt of the beautiful things I want to make in the future. All while you kept me company. So thank you Cathy, for being a fantastic mentor.
I think my best beginner story is about me and ballet. I took a few ballet classes as a kid, but I wasn't able to keep doing it, even though I would've liked to, and I kind of forgot about it. Well, two moves and around seven years later, I suddenly found myself in a position where I could take classes again. I got started, and boy, was I bad. I was twice the age of my classmates, with half the experience, and I felt like I was the worst dancer ever. I wasn't flexible, I didn't know more than the barest of basics, and I was in an intermediate class, to make matters worse, because I was too old for the beginner classes. But I kept doing it. I would go right when we were supposed to go left, struggle through barre going at half speed, and in the wrong pattern, I would use the wrong arms, and look at my feet, and generally struggle. But I'd ask questions. I'd go home and look up anything I could, and practice again and again. I was bad, but I was stubborn. And slowly, slowly, I began to improve. Two years later, I'm still usually the worst in the room, but I give it all I can, I apply all the feedback I'm given, and I get there. I still go the wrong way a lot, and use the wrong foot, but I'm still here, and learning. I remember having a breakthrough moment a few months ago, when a friend wanted me to help her learn some ballet. I would look at myself dancing, and actually see someone who knew what they were doing! I would do 6 or 7 chainé turns, and then remember that I could barely do three without falling over a year ago. I would do steps, and realize that those steps I was doing without really thinking, were steps I could barely execute at all just a few months prior. I wasn't perfect, certainly, but I was so much better than I ever expected to be. One thing I really didn't realize until that moment was that, through having to be corrected time and time again, and through listening to everyone else's notes, I had learned how to teach. I could tell what wasn't right, and how to fix it, while still knowing how it feels to not get it. It made me a much more compassionate teacher. Being a good beginner gave me skills many dancers never have, and that's something I'm really proud of. So yeah, that's my story!
As a trained art teacher, I've had many students who were frustrated they couldn't make an amazing piece of artwork the first time they used a new media. I would ask them "what does a small child learning to draw do?" They would respond, "The child scribbles." I would then tell them that "every time we learn a new skill, we have a scribble stage. So of course it isn't going to look as we expect because we are still learning." That seemed to help people realized that the scribble stage is an important part of the learning process. Thanks for your video Madam Hay!
As someone who’s just picked up her childhood love of drawing again in her 30’s and has been quite frustrated with the results: that is AMAZING advice! Seeing it as an essential stage & not failure is so helpful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
@sweetie dahling! Also, Good for you for picking it up again. So many children stop making art because they “can’t draw” which translated means “I’m having a hard time drawing realistically” (preteens reach the “want to draw realistically stage” of development, but without the training and patience to do it so many people stop drawing at this age). As a result so many adults will tell you that they aren’t artists because they can’t draw! What they forget is that many great artist don’t need to or are good at drawing. Kind of a tangent but wanted to let you know, I’m proud of you for getting back into it.
I keep reminding myself "No one is BORN knowing this stuff." I've even said that to people who try to shame me for asking a seemingly (to them) simple question. Everyone learned this (whatever) at some point in time; I know I have a good brain, there is no reason I can't learn it as well.
Yes!! I was in my *thirties* before I started looking at people I knew who had learned to knit or crochet or sew or embroider, and say to myself, "Well if *they* can learn to do it, *I* certainly can!"
I don’t think I have ever been so inspired by a video💚✨. A beginner moment. A friend of mine wanted a pair of fair isle style mittens for her daughter. I had never tried fair isle, but I figured this was the time to learn. And I did it! I had to take the yarn out twice when I first started, but I got it on the third time and now I love fair isle knitting! 💚✨🖤
I was a beginner at sewing 18 months ago. I had never touched a machine in my life and wanted so badly to make a costume. I ended up making my own wedding dress a few months ago with 600 hours of work and hand embroidery and showed it off to 250 people on my wedding day. The mistakes are how we learn. The darts on my first dress were hideous 😂 Thank you for your inspiration in helping me be where I want to be.
From Ira Glass: "Nobody tells people who are beginners - and I really wish somebody had told this to me - is that all of us who do creative work … we get into it because we have good taste. But it’s like there’s a gap, that for the first couple years that you’re making stuff, what you’re making isn’t so good, OK? It’s not that great. It’s really not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not quite that good. But your taste - the thing that got you into the game - your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you, you know what I mean? A lot of people never get past that phase. A lot of people at that point, they quit. And the thing I would just like say to you with all my heart is that most everybody I know who does interesting creative work, they went through a phase of years where they had really good taste and they could tell what they were making wasn’t as good as they wanted it to be - they knew it fell short, it didn’t have the special thing that we wanted it to have. And the thing I would say to you is everybody goes through that. And for you to go through it, if you’re going through it right now, if you’re just getting out of that phase - you gotta know it’s totally normal."
As someone who has just exited college and is building a career in a nationwide company, the biggest complement that I've received is that I ask a lot of questions and learn things quickly. I've recently been shifted to the "more advanced" side of the team as one of my peers is about to go on maternity leave so after 6 months of getting processes down, I'm starting anew. I'm working hard to be a good beginner and advocating for myself to my manager and supervisor so I have enough time to do things twice when I inevitably fail and have to restart tasks.
I've been working in my field for 25+ years. One thing I've always been told is that I ask a lot of questions but it's a good thing because I was obviously more concerned with improving my skill set than protecting my ego. Good luck with your future endeavors.
While I was watching I remembered this quote: “I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.” I think that my own expectations have often gotten in the way of my improvement, but truly that example with the baby was perfect :) I should celebrate what I do instead of berating myself for every single thing I perceive as wrong.
My beginner moment happened a few days ago actually. I'm making a patch for my boyfriend as a present for his graduation. It's this cute lil cactus with a graduation cap on top. I've been doing cross stitch for around 3 years I believe, but embroidery was a completely different task for me, and I really wanted to do a french knot to fill in the cactus body. Now, for months, this stitch had eluded me. I absolutely could not figure it out, but the other day, after the thread just sinking through the fabric for the nteenth time, I watched another beginners embroidery video, and slowly followed the persons movements, and I did it! the stitch stayed on top of the fabric! Now, the cactus body is almost filled in, and my french knots have gotten super good, and I'm very proud of doing that one little stitch. Thank you for the inspiring video Ms. Hay. I greatly appreciate the boost of self esteem I get after watching you.
I'm amazing at being a first time mom 🥰 I have realized that I actually can be in the moment for the first time in my life and I'm enjoying it so so so much 😍 And also she loves me for it, I really can tell 💖🍀
I read something recently in a book about kids and resilience that seems to me to be applicable to all of us, in that we don't often get taught to enjoy the process of learning, rather it's taught as a chore that you have to get through in order to achieve the shiny thing at the end. We say things like 'oh that looks too difficult for you, why don't you try this easier thing instead' and celebrate when something has come easily to them. Instead we could say 'oh that seemed really easy for you, lets try this harder thing to give you more of an enjoyable challenge.' It flips that idea on it's head of 'you're no good because you're a beginner and haven't yet achieved excellence' into 'you're a beginner - how wonderful that you're taking on this new challenge and learning something new or developing your skills!'
Just remember as beginners,noone is standing over you with a stopwatch. Its your own journey. Making my own blouse and finishing it and trying it on was a milestone in my beginnership. Very satisfying!
I'm making a skirt from scratch. Its my 4th ever garment to make. Its a simple circleskirt, and I'm mostly using handstitching for the first time. I learned how to properly sew in a zipper and at this very moment, Im trying to sew on hooks and eyes, also for the first time. And i know that every stitch is wonky, and the pattern doesnt really match up but hey, thats kinda the excitement of making the first few sewingprojects, right? (Also im not using a pattern, just winging it and a bit of thoughtfullness) Thank you for the inspiration, Cathy :)
A hand sewn skirt was my second ever project (I'm now on #4 lol) and it's so exciting to start making these projects and have them come together. I wish you luck on your sewing journey! Also The Pattern Making Primer by Jo Barnfield and Andrew Richards is a good read when making your own patterns (though honestly some packing paper, a measuring tape and a sharpie is often all I've been using lol
I've never sewn fabric before (I'm married to a leatherworker), but we decided to make a Regency petticoat in the week leading up to CoCoVid. It wasn't going to be perfect & that was OK. I made a mistake with the spacing of the pintucks, & decided I preferred the mistake. It's still not finished, but soon I'll have a petticoat for my Napoleonic kit 😊
Hi Cathy! Ok so I’ll try to keep this short, but tbh that probably won’t happen lol Hello, my name is Christabel, I am 15, and I live with a family that is not very supportive/good for my mental health which means I have quite a few mental problems and doubts in my abilitybut watching your videos have helped me tremendously in finding the light at the end of the tunnel. My dream is to become a writer and an animator, and I feel like I can do it, even though no one really supports it. I feel like when I write and draw that I am living the story of my life I have always wanted. I have always daydreamed that I was in a beautiful story, as a form of escape from my messy life, and I hope one day I can create that for others too. I have learned that i can’t chase anyone else’s dreams for my life, but I can and will do whatever I need to achieve my own. I feel like you’re like my cool aunt who believes in what I want to do lol. I know it’s kinda cheesy, but your videos are amazing pep talks to make me feel like I can achieve anything I set my mind to. Well this comment is quite long and doesn’t really make sense, but I just want to thank you for all your kind and inspiring words that help me keep going and creating :) Much love from America -Christabel
As soon as I've accomplished a mini victory, I stop what I'm doing and take a break. The break times serves as a time to let the happy sink in, take a breather knowing there's far more to go, and reward myself with a snack or just the scenery of a different room (eyes need breaks too!) or some fresh air. ...And sometimes I'll watch a Cathy Hay video
I went through fashion school, I legit thought I was going to have to quit after one week when I couldn't even figure out how to operate the industrial machines. It's just a matter of attempting at something you don't understand enough times until it starts to make sense.
OMG, it was the computer program for graphic design. A month my instructor worked with me, then bingo, the lights turned on. Got my associates any several completion awards for designs and photography. Then I couldn't get a job in the field and worked a non design job for 20 years. Totally confused by computers again, so back to basics. But will learn again, to use it for resources to do my own thing for me and my wardrobe. So a crazy circle to be a beginner again at 63. 😁
I'm an aspiring author, and I've gone through my fair share of beginner struggles. I've been writing, probably since I could pick up a pencil, and yet I always saw my improvement as minimal. I never saw anything I could be proud of because I was so blinded by these works of fiction that authors who had been at it for years had created. I'm not going to be that great at writing at 12 years old. In fact, when I compare myself, there are so many things to improve on, I commonly get overwhelmed, and shut down. However, as I write and as I see the sentences slowly become a story that paints a picture in someone's mind, I remember why I wanted to write for my career. It brings me so much joy to read books, to escape into a world where I'm not concerned about my family's financial situation, or whether I'm going to get shoved into a locker tomorrow at school. I want to be able to be that form of comfort to others. As I've gone through my trials and errors, even though I'm still a child, I've learned that all of the mistakes I make, and all of the times I get so frustrated I want to throw my computer across my room, are worth what the end result will be. I want to be great at writing. I don't need to be the next C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling to be a good author, and that's what so many people don't realize. Even if you aren't a huge celebrity, or making millions, you can still be amazing at something and help people. It all starts with being an amateur, a novice who knows nothing about what to do, but the important part is that you persevere through the struggles.
This video comes on the right moment I’m 34 and I’m turning my career around and I’m a beginner again and I feel so unsafe, insecure... so scared! Thanks for this!
@@ellenuttmark7946 I went back to school at 28 to finish my BSW. I had the time of my life. I was focused with my goal in mind. I wouldn't have been able to do that at 19. I was able to appreciate what I was doing and the empowering feeling it gave me knowing I was accomplishing my goal. You will do this!!!
Look over the things you have accomplished in your life so far. Write them down and I mean every thing (!), tape them to the bathroom mirror and congratulate yourself on those accomplishments each morning. Puts things in perspective. You have made it each day in those 34 years and there were times it was not easy but you did it. You found a way to get through that time and make it to the next day, the next week, month and year. Use that feeling of accomplishment and self awareness in taking on this new career path!!
wandering Inge oh my god thanks so much!!!! That comment just made my day! I officially changed career today and I was feeling quite overwhelmed, so please I read your comment! Little gestures like this make me day brighter and lighter!
First off, you are amazing! When I first started historic fencing week after week I would practice the moves and practice and practice til my arms and feet were in sync (I am the clumsiest person ever) and I didn't have to think about where my plastic practice sword was supposed to go for each move. Then one day a few weeks in my instructor said "ok today you are going to spar with Nathan" (I had watched Nathan in competitions before and he was amazing) and my immediate response was "oh no im not nearly that good" but he tossed me a helmet and a metal sparring sword. I stepped into the circle scared out of my mind, but then my muscles took over and my brain went into "whats his stance? OK hes in X stance so he's going to strike with X strike" and then hs did and i parried without even thinking about it. After about 5 minutes of back and forth I landed my first strike and almost jumped out of my skin! For so long I had seen people sparring and exchanging blows and thought "I'd never be that good" or "it will take me years to get to that level" but then I was in the circle and I did the thing and realized "I'm only ever going to get better by sparring with people better than me!" It was this amazing "Ahah!" Moment. And now im taking those lessons into the sewing room and applying them there.
I have been horseback riding off and on for 10 years at various camps and stables. The summer after my first horse camp experience, my dad took me to a place for a trainer to assess my level, and I got to canter for the first time in my life. I had a solid seat, and my dad said my face lit up in pure joy. I continued riding that horse at that stable and failed miserably at controlling and working with the horse for the entire summer. I left the stable and wasn't able to ride again until the following summer at a different stable, where I mucked stalls in exchange for lessons. I felt my dad had hyped up my skill level to this trainer, and I felt like I could never complete the barn tasks to her satisfaction. All I wanted was a place where I could ride freely and bond with a horse, which I didn't get. Fast-forward to last summer where I was able to work at a camp safely, in spite of Covid, and I was horse staff. I don't know what happened, but I was fully at home in the barn and around the horses. I confidently rode every horse the camp had from a big Belgian draft horse to what were technically ponies, and I am certified as a level 2 instructor. While I am no expert horsewoman, I have gained enough experience and expertise to inspire other young children to love horses the way I do.
This Vlog is so me at the moment, I've been sewing since I was 15 and I'm now 54, life is a funny thing, I worked hard and loved to learn and get new skills, but 3 years ago I had a mental melt down and had to be medicated and still am just not so much, what this has taught me is do what you have always wanted and try new stuff but don't let the fear get to you, foundation garments I've made but dress inner foundation is a different ball game, so there's a project. Hand sewing is a love of mine but to hand sew whole garment, yes there another whole new project, so what I'm trying to say is, your never to old and you will never know every thing but you can have a go and just relax and enjoy because that's why we are who we are "creative Sensitive people" so go and do before your to old and regret it. Jason from Stoke on Trent 🤓
I have to remind myself that projects won’t end up as I hope when I’m just starting out but that I can always do a project again. That my first pair of pants won’t be perfect but that I can always make a second one that still won’t be perfect but will probably be better!
I'm doing it Cathy. At 50, I'm escaping all of my demons and starting my new beginning. My house sold within 3 days and i bought a beautiful little retirement park home by the coast with a spare room for sewing. The closing date is only days away. The horizon now reveals a renewed hope of freedom, interior design, historical research, learning, costumery, playing with my cats, and long walks along the coast wearing copious amounts of vintage tweed and handmade historical garments. Thank you, my dearest Cathy Hay, for sharing your journey and for providing a truly safe space that allows HSPs to breathe again. You are forever an inspiration. From Leicester (but not for much longer) with love. Tonia xXx
Dear Cathy, When you used the baby learning to walk allegory I had to laugh out loud. I learned how to walk really late, my parents even had to send me to ergo therapy to get me walking. I knew how to speak very well before I even learned how to walk. I used to focus on the fact that I was a very early speaker and be a little ashamed of my late walking endeavours. Your video made me look at it in a different way: I took my time with walking and needed a little help to get started but now I am as good a walker as anybody else. I was a great beginner as a baby. To new beginnings! Thank you and lots of love!
Omg, I had the exact same experience with learning to walk! I could talk in full sentences pretty early on, but it took sooo long (and many hours of ergo therapy) until I was able to walk without losing balance and tripping over my own feet. I love your take on it though- it‘s true, by now I can’t all just fine. What an achievement! :)
I am a late walker too, but I started babbling and asking questions very early. My parents have a favorite story of me. My brother was just born, and I was feeling superior to him, so I know exactly how old I was. At 25 months of age, I told my parents (in German): „I want the Person, who‘s name starts with the letter m to change my diaper!“ I think I started walking so late, because I could tell people from a very early age what I wanted, so they would get it for me.
My daughter was opposite, she walked when she was 9months old, but she didn't start talking until she was 18 months old. I was not worried about her, I knew that when she started talking, she would never stop, lol. I was right (she is 16 now ♥️)
So I'm coming back to sewing after 12-ish years and I never really did hand stitching, so I figured I'd start easy and make a sewing bag, then I made it hard on myself by giving the bag compartments. And I was hemming(not the sewing kind) and hawing about how everyone would see my 'awful noob stitching' where I attached the compartment walls to the outer walls. At some point I decided that the whole bag would be two layers of fabric and I realized that all I had to do if I wanted to not have to look at it later and think 'I could do this so much better now' 5 years down my road was only stitch the compartment walls to the inside layer of the outer walls, and I was doing tabletop gaming with my friends and working on it when I exclaimed "I'M AN ACCIDENTAL GENIUS!" and got to feel really good that a decision I made was a good one for the thing I'm working on on levels that I hadn't originally intended.
First of all, I am so proud of you Cathy, your voice is stronger and you sounded wonderful!!!! thank you for your wonderful videos Growing up I could not learn to read nor write, (I am 60) and they didn't know much about learning disabilities, and coming from an extremely abusive home, being told I was too stupid to learn did not help matters. I was forced to quit school at 15, to watch my younger siblings (I was told I was too stupid to learn, I would have to marry and have children, so I didn't need to waste time in school) after I left home at 17, I went back to school, I could barely read or write, but they passed me. After I married and had the support and encouragement of my husband I learned how to read. Because of my Dyslexia, I am not a great speller. The good Lord has brought me a long way. It took me till my early 30's to get up the confidence to go to college and I was so shocked when I had a 4.0 avg. I now speak at women's groups, giving hope to others, to never-give-up. Somethings we have to take baby steps along the way. byw, I am not a sewer, but love watching your videos and learning, my art of choice is journal making and painting
I got my first job as an apprentice pattern maker while still in school in Cleveland, Ohio. I worked two years there. I moved to a better paying job and better quality garments. I got married and moved to New Jersey, to work in New York. My first 10 jobs I was fired after a short time.(Days) Each time I picked myself up and went to another interview. I had to make a pattern to get the job., but I was using their paper and fabric and seamstresses to sew my garments so I learned "Factory methods" by failing. I opened my own shop and sewed wedding dresses and sold Vintage clothing for three years. I could pay the rent but that's about all. It was fun, and I learned a lot. When I went back to NY I landed a job with Calvin Klein doing the Collection ! I had learned draping and sewing, so I could fake my way into any interview and get the job! I did well there and so it just goes to show failing is educational! Love you videos!
Wow! Yes, I have started sewing again in the lockdown. I sewed as a teenager, my Mum was a gifted sewer but our teacher/student relationship was fraught with our other issues and different learning styles. So after making some masks, with my new birthday sewing machine, I decided to make a dress. I bought a simple pattern from Amazon and forged ahead. Every thing that is right and wrong about the finished dress was a wonderful learning experience. From not having a flow-y enough fabric, to attempting a “not in the pattern” scalloped hem. From ignoring interfacing to constantly trying it on and adjusting the left shoulder seam until it fit perfectly. In my career life I work with babies....so hurray! clever girl! I did it!
My Concept Art teacher said to me once: Yes! You’re a beginner and you’re slow and that’s why you have me here helping you and teaching you, but if this class was about creativity or absorbing culture for illustrations, I would be the one paying you to teach me.
I stitched my first ever successful buttonhole in a garment yesterday. Did I show all my friends? Yes. Did I care that none of them really cared? No. Am I super proud of that little buttonhole? Yes!
I think everything you said it’s very important! Everybody has to start somewhere! When I started sewing I couldn’t even thread the machine! And now I sell my creations Online! We gotta be kinder with ourselves... life is a constant learning! Happy sewing everybody! :-)
A few years ago I was inspired to take up miniatures. I saw all some amazing dolls houses, in which it was impossible to tell, from the images, whether it was a full size scene or a miniature. I wanted that. Initially, I worked exclusively with store bought furniture, decor etc. Every time I looked at the rooms I decorated and filled I was disappointed. As far as I could see, I never got past the "dolls house" look. I kept plugging away at it, however, because I loved all the times when I could make things myself. I never reached the point where I could make my own wooden furniture, but I did make lots of items that dressed the rooms. Even so, it never looked "good enough" to me, until I spent time and took some decent photo's of my work. I nervously took them in to show to folk at work. Their response made my jaw drop. One person made my day. He said, "Oh, I thought I was looking at real rooms." I had "arrived" and yet been so wrapped up in my own insecurity that I had not even noticed. Some years later I gave up that hobby, (would you believe, because I didn't have room?). The lessons I took away were...if you want to be good you have to practice, but also that I am my own worst critic.
@9:36 Cathy being an encouraging mum is MOOD and I'm here for it. DO THE THING! And keep on learning while doing the thing. I want to be a beginner all my life in the sense that I want to have the humility to know that there will always be someone who knows more than me, and that I can learn something from anyone. And if others see me as that person, I want them to feel encourage. :-) ♥♥♥
I am a balloon artist and I had a gig today were I meet a lady that wants to learn to twist balloons and it felt very good to be able to give her tips and advice. It was cool to see her genuine excitement for it and I kind of miss the excitement of a “new world” opening up to me with balloon art. That is what sewing is for me now, yes it is daunting, it’s scary but it is indeed exciting! It is like stepping into a new world as I learn more and more I become more familiar and confident with it.
I teach wireworking and I always encourage my students to keep the first piece they make and to put it in a place of honour. That piece is a benchmark for their creative journey, and is a reminder of the excitement they have felt in this new craft. It's a touchstone for the days when being creative hits a speed bump. ❤ I still have the very first piece I made, now 25 years later, and it's always inspiring to see how far I've come.
I feel like I was a really good beginner at crochet because I kind of became obsessed with beautiful yarn over night. I picked up the basics pretty fast and I didn't mind pulling out my work because I was just so happy to have lovely yarn in my hands and the idea of being able to make soft fluffy beautiful works of art. It was low stakes because anything I messed up with could be undone very easily or corrected later in the work with ease. I am now so obsessed with yarn 5 years later I have started spinning and I am going to start a degree in knitwear in September. The funny thing is, despite being now quite proficient, I still prefer he really beginner patterns because I prefer to have simple repeating stitches, because I can work from muscle memory and do something else like listen to the radio, which I can't do with a really complicated pattern.
I soooo get that. I also love doing really simple beginners level patterns. It’s amazing to when I can just get into a rhythm of crocheting and get out of my own head a little. The one crochet project that I was most proud of was a laundry basket that I made for my little sister’s new baby. Absolutely nothing but straight single crochet. One. Stitch. At. A. Time. And I made a laundry basket large enough to hold a bushel of laundry. In two weeks time. I really should have paced myself more and taken more time to make it, as I also had horrible hand pain for three weeks after, but we all learn at our own pace, eh?
I think the best beginner moment for me is when you finish a project and you get to wear what you made out in the world. There is such pride and joy that comes from being able to say to someone, "I made this!" Even if it's something really simple or not "perfect"
I recently unlocked the Gardening Level, and every new bud or leaf is a tiny yayyy you did it!! I practice on dying plants in the discount section of my local big box garden store, and just try to get them to survive and thrive. I don't know what I'm supposed to do A LOT.
I will never forget that lovely coffee we had in Costa, all those years ago. You were telling me about how you wanted to move on from sewing commissions, when YWU was an idea. I am so proud if how far you have come since then.
I know nothing about sewing or have anything more than a vague interest on it, but as an aspiring writer these tips are still really precious and inspiring. Thank you ♥️
My first figure drawing class in college was my best beginner experience. I was in school for sculpture and ceramics, and was by no means an ammeter at drawing, but this was the first time I'd taken a class to learn to draw people. I had an excellent professor who told us during almost every demonstration he gave that we just weren't going to pick it up right away and we shouldn't expect to. He also told us that if we did it right we'd learn more from each other than we would from him, and he encouraged us to get up from our easels and spend a few minutes watching each other draw. We critiqued each other too, told each other what we liked about others drawings and what we thought didn't work or needed improvement. It was tough at first. We had to learn how to take criticism and how to ignore it if we didn't agree, we had to learn how to give good criticism, we had to learn how to see our models without embarrassing them or feeling embarrassed ourselves, we had to learn to draw with nu-pastel which I don't think anyone of us had ever used before, and we had to learn to see how we drew and how our peers drew (this is the hardest one really, honest self awareness is tough). About a month or so into the class, we all started to get the hang of things. We started being able to give really good criticism, and we started to be able to take criticism really well in a way that made us all better artists. And we started to be able to see that we were all getting something different from the professor when he would demonstrate at the beginning of class, and then we started to learn those things from each other at least as much as we learned from the professor. We all became good friends and respected and valued each other and worked together to make everyone in the class as good as they could be in a semester. We all grew tremendously in drawing skill during that class. To this day it is the fastest and best I have ever learned a skill. I learned a couple of really important things during that class: 1: Saying you don't like something a person has made isn't helpful to a maker, and neither is saying "I love it". Be specific with your praise and with your criticism. "That line forms a tangent with this other line, and it's distracting to the picture as a whole" is helpful. "I really admire your color pallet, it reminds of this other thing that I love and think is designed really well." is also helpful. If you're going to give feedback, make sure you know WHY you feel the way you do before you offer your critique. This is ESPECIALLY true when you're critiquing yourself. 2: When you identify something in your own work that bothers you, take the time to figure out why it's wrong and how to fix it. And when you see something you love in yours or someone else's work, figure out why it works and repeat or emulate it in your own work. 3: "you're better than me" and "I'm better than you" are the death of learning, the death of improvement, and the death of creativity. The only person you should EVER compare yourself to is you from last month. As long as you're better than you were, than you have no reason to be down on yourself. And I really mean you from last month. Off days are a thing, so are difficult weeks, so don't compare yourself to you from yesterday, go a little farther back. It's not cheating to set yourself up for success here. And 4: If you don't understand something, ASK! it's not going to get better if you don't stand up and say "I didn't understand what you just said, could you please walk me though that again," to your teacher. If you're suffering or struggling in silence, it's not making you stronger, it's not making you better at learning, it's distracting you from picking up your new skill as fast and as well as you could be. I think it's important to celebrate your victories too, like Kathy said. I'm awful at that part, and I frequently have to abandon my projects because I just can't stand the thought of continuing the slog that whatever latest project has become. I think that's what I'm going to work on this week. Starting right now, by going and looking at the last thing I made, and really enjoying everything I managed to get right. There's a lot of stuff I got right, and I haven't allowed myself to see it and be happy about it yet.
“You’re allowed to be back at when you start,” 💯. You’re even allowed to be bad and make mistakes when your experienced 😂. We are life long learners on this journey. 💛
Cathy, I was listening to the call driving her home from from camp. I let her watch the call so she could understand what was going on. She was enamored you replied.
As a former "Gifted and Talented Kid," I find being a beginner to be rather difficult. I picked up so many things so easily as a kid that when I ran into something I didn't get right away I figured I was bad at it and quit trying (this is a common experience for kids who were considered G&T, I'm told). My best friend of over 20 years is a professional theatrical costumer at a big university, and she's taught me most of what I know about sewing. I will never approach her level of expertise, but I'm finally reaching a point where I'm mostly satisfied with what I can produce. It helped, in our early years of friendship, that she kept pictures of her earliest sewing projects to prove to people that everyone starts out badly! In our shared historical recreation hobby, my true passion was dance - something I never tried before getting involved in this group. I was bad at first, but so were most of the people I was dancing with (we were all college students). I kept with the dance community and while I never reached the pinnacle of skill, I did reach a point where I could comfortable pick up a new dance relatively quickly. After nearly 20 years of memorizing the choreography of 15th and 16th Century European dances, I let a different friend talk me into taking a beginning class in American Tribal Style Belly Dance. I'd been interested in learning this for a while, I just needed an extra nudge to get started. The first class was excruciating. Everything I did was wrong - my posture was bad, my muscle control was non-existent, my stamina was gone, it was a total failure. After talking over the humiliation I felt with my friend in the class, we realized several things: this was a completely different style of dance than what we were used to, and it used completely different muscle groups to achieve completely different body movements. Then we realized that while we were veterans of the European Renaissance dance styles, we'd only been learning ATS for two hours. We gave ourselves and each other permission to be absolute beginners once again, and decided not to quit after just one class. I stuck with it for several years because I really enjoyed it. I never became particularly good at it, but I did achieve a level of skill that I was mostly satisfied with.
I started sewing in 1968, my mother taught me--my first dress was a simple empire waist dress in embroidered Swiss batiste. My Mother was OCD about sewing, I ripped each seam out at least 3 times. They had to be a perfect 5/8". It served me well, but made me crazy! In the last year, I have been teaching myself to drape and to alter patterns to suit myself. I had taken classes 15 years ago to make to fit myself because I wanted an evening gown made from a vintage Kimono. I took apart the Kimono, ironed it and made the gown with fabric that was 14" wide. I decided if I could do that, I could drape. I have made a few things that were really sad in my own opinion, but I have kept it up and finally made a complete 1780 gown and it is beautiful. I felt great after all the hard work!
This makes me think of the two walls in front of my house. My dad had a big idea, that he was going to make rock walls of limestone on either side of the driveway, and over the course of two summers (with a year between) we finished the first and then much of the second (in progress still). Finishing that first wall on the left side, he was so so proud, he was so pleased at what we had made. Fast forward to working on the second, he had talked to my neighbor (who works in construction) for tips, and looked into different tools, and we had repaved our driveway between walls and learned about working and smoothing concrete and leveling it - and going into that second wall, with all this new knowledge, the first wall looks so messy! In hindsight, just stacking stones might get a sturdy wall but it sure didn't look pretty! The first wall has mortar squished out between stones, while on the right side I smoothed out every line of mortar one by one, and dad chipped away at stones to make the shapes fit together in a more pleasing way instead of keeping the shape the stones came from the quarry. It's a much better wall, objectively, but whenever my dad talks about the project, the /way/ he talks about it is very reminiscent of this! He talks about it and says "I sure didn't know what I was doing, I was so proud of myself laying those stones." He talks about how accomplished he felt doing it and finishing it, instead of the way he could talk about it (the bad habit I have about my own projects) that devalues it in hindsight, that says "wow that looks like crap, how amateur". He instead says how proud he was working on it, and how proud he is of how far he has come on the other side. Sure, they don't match, but if he wanted a perfect wall he could have hired someone to do it. DIY projects around the house are something he really enjoys, and enjoying the process as an amateur is really important to keep going. Anyways, thanks for sharing this video - you always have such wise words to share.
Oh, I think I had my amazing beginner moment in my first year at university. It made me realize I was free to try new stuff - skies wouldn't burn, world wouldn't end, I wouldn't be expelled if I messed things up a little in the process :3 I'm doing a degree in computer science, and one of our maths exams was in conference format. I really wanted to do my presentation about Lewis Carroll's "Symbolic Logic", but uh-oh, self doubt. So next term I found the courage to ask our professor if I could do this, and he agreed! Also, he always says "there is no such thing as a stupid question" - if you're a beginner, there is no need to be ashamed if you don't understand something )
I have NO experience in woodworking, but I just finished & placed the top of my custom sewing table. I made LOTS of mistakes & it is far from perfect. I’m thrilled it’s done, I learned a lot, now I can carry on to being a beginner at something else.
Teaching science in a lab, I tell my students that I'd rather they ask the question they think is stupid, than them make a stupid dangerous mistake because they didn't. It is very satisfying to see a student get it. In knitting my mom was great at teaching it, She gave me random yarn, and comfy needles. showed me how to cast on, and told me to cast on 100 stitches, then showed the knit and purl and I was to knit 100 rows. The first ones were real ugly but I did about 200-300 rows. It didn't have to be "something" it was a rectangle, that's it. I succeeded at making a rectangle. We still have that rectangle, messy stitches and all. It's protecting something from dust now. I've been knitting for 16 years now, I can do much better and make complicated things. I'm still happy with my first rectangle.
A baby that pulls him- or herself up for the first time wears a look of triumph and sheer joy. When those first wobbly steps are taken, Baby's joy and wonderment are contagious. Babies do not let their _fear_ of trying something new overwhelm them; they go for it. When they learn one thing, the build on it (hence child-proof locks and top shelves). When it comes to adults trying new things, the best advice comes from Mary Poppins: Start at the very beginning A very good place to start (The song, Do Re Mi, is all about learning new things by starting at the very beginning, and building.)
I've always been terrible at learning languages, but wanted to use lockdown as an opportunity to re-learn and improve upon some basic Italian I used to know. So I finally installed the Duolingo app on my phone and have been doing a little bit of practice every single day, and am currently up to a 68-day streak of learning! It's so satisfying to feel my brain remembering what I used to know, and beginning to understand more vocab. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND HOW ITALIAN VERBS WORK!! Hurray :D
More than you're terrible at learning languages, most likely you haven't dedicated enough time to learn them. Languages take a lot of time and effort to learn them. Look at children, in spite of what we're told, they don't learn to speak effortlessly. It take them years. A five years old can speak reasonably well but they have a limited vocabulary and grammar knowledge, and they still need to learn how to write properly. And that after five years of constant practice being in constant contact with the language. But we have been made believe that dedicating a couple of hours every week in six month we should be able hold our ground in an international conference meeting. No wonder people feel like a failure when it comes to learn a language.
Huzzah!!!! I took a Spanish major in college, but then I let my brain rust for nearly ten years. Embarrassingly enough, I couldn’t carry on a conversation anymore. I also started using Duolingo, and I’ve gotten really good results from it. It’s such a good feeling to knock the rust out of the corners of my brain.
I'm a professional beginner who has a long history of trying new things and abandoning them when I'm not immediately good at it. When I decided to pursue sewing it was the first time I was excited to be a beginner. I was just as invested in the process as I was the end result. I wanted to take my time learning and make crappy things! I think this shift was the result of the nature of sewing and the wonderful CosTube community. Firstly, all you have to know is a basic running stitch and you can complete something! So many of the hobbies or skills I've tried require lots of practice before you have something to show for it. With sewing you can mend a little ripped seam, make a nice little pillow, or even a sampler. I tend to be an instant gratification monster and looking at it this way helped me a lot. I can know next to nothing but still create SOMETHING! I came into the CosTube community looking at all you wonderful, kind, experienced makers and instead of seeing people who were miles better than me and being intimidated, I saw people who knew what they were doing and still made silly mistakes sometimes. People with years and years of experience who still got stymied by projects. You normalized messing up and making something that maybe you're not so proud of or that you have a long period of frustration about. A shift in perspective makes all the difference!
Great advice Cathy. I posted my very first TH-cam video this week. I had been wanting to start a youtube channel for years but found myself getting very discouraged watching other youtube videos feeling like I would never be that good so just didn't do it. After watching a tonne of videos during CoCoVid I finally got up the courage to do the thing and I hit publish on a video I just made. I did send the link to a dear friend to tell me her honest opinion and she said it was pretty good for my first, her 16 yr however told me everything that was wrong with it and things I needed to change to make it better. For the first time in my life I was able to take that and not get extremely upset and hurt by criticism. It was my first video and won't be as good as people that have thousands of subs and many videos under their belt. I'm still learning and it will come with practice. Pushing publish on that first video was terrifying and I know it is far from perfect but it has sparked a lot of video ideas swirling and I am excited to see where that brings me. Getting better definitely comes with practice and time.
I think one of the reasons I like trying a lot of new things is because I give myself permission to be bad at a new thing. I don’t expect it to turn out at all, so if it’s a functional item, I’m already doing better than I anticipate. My first yarn I made was truly dreadful. You actually couldn’t knit or crochet with it because it would fall apart. I’ve kept my first two skeins because I just like to look at them and every new skein I make looks better and better in comparison. About 3-4 years after I started, one of my mentors told me, “you’re spinning frog hair now, you’ve improved so much!” It meant so much to me, as I’d invested myself heart and soul into learning spinning, watching DVD’s, going to fiber festivals, reading books, etc. I still have so much to learn, as I struggle with intentional spinning, getting the exact size I want, but it’s a fun journey. And as long as it’s a fun journey, that’s the important part. While I can apply this to my crafts, like cheesemaking and sewing and crocheting, I have a hard time applying it to learning Bangla and exercising, so I still needed to hear this video. And I’m very proud of you on your Yoga videos! Go you!
I love your gentle wisdom, so relevant, so kind and so understanding. Thank you. I needed this. So glad it popped up on my feed and I decided to watch it again. I needed to hear it today 😊
I took Pole Dancing lessons last year... and lets just say I was really good at failing 😎😎 And now with a little bit more honesty: i took Those classes and stopped - but not because I failed at it, but because it wasn't really my thing and i'm weirdly proud of that. I learned a lot about failing and being okay with that in those classes. 😊
I love that feeling of being a beginner - not knowing how much you don't know and just giving it a go. It's also great when you need to teach others something, to be regularly reminded about what it's like to be the learner and the beginning of their journey.
I NEEDED this video! My guy and I are trying to work on my skill and ability to encourage myself, "be your own cheerleader." I was diagnosed with ADHD the month I turned 30. I'm 32 and still learning about this neurological disorder. One of the things I recently learned is that it seems ADHD brains (unknown if this applies to all ADHD diagnoses, or just a percentage) do not have enough norepinephrine and dopamine receptors. These are the reward hormones, so not having enough receptors for me oftentimes means I need to consciously and purposefully dwell on what I accomplished, maybe even journal it, because the "reward sensation" in my brain is so short and fleeting that I cannot remember how it feels to accomplish a task or goal. Sometimes I've even forgotten altogether that I accomplished a difficult task or goal because I may even feel neutral about having done it. Consciously I know I should feel good about having done it, and yet... While it can seem like a drawback to know I have ADHD, having an explanation for why I struggle in so many different areas actually helps empower me to know they're connected and there are potential solutions. It is also massively empowering to know the answer is not merely that I am lazy, unmotivated, etc., etc. My boyfriend and I share a 3 bedroom house. We each have our own room, then the master is our bedroom. He has experience as a psych nurse, and has wonderful organizational skills. I want to be organized, but don't know how besides just throwing everything away. My amazing guy has been helping me organize my room. Whenever I exhibit signs of getting overwhelmed, or if I've been working for a long stretch, he pauses to hug and kiss me, reassure me and calm me so that I wouldn't give up or lose progress. If I couldn't keep my focus on which task to prioritize, he would direct my focus for me. Thanks be to God, because of him, my room is almost organized enough I can actually start making my first sewing projects in the coming months! I can't wait!
Having the right teacher can help with being a good beginner! The lady I bought my sewing machine from let me learn how to use it as I paid for it. She was my cheerleader!!! She would be all excited about the fact that I was making a quilt. It's a simple 9" squares put together quilt. Nothing fancy but she made me feel like I was making a ball gown!
When I retired I knew that my current hobbies were sedentary so I took up walking and walking more than a few miles was difficult, a year later we had new people in our group and they were looking up to me as a good walker. and I realised how comfortable I was walking 10 miles plus, I also took up bowling still quite bad at that but it is enjoyable.
I was also about to make a walking analogy - when I set out to walk a marathon, I cannot think at the start "have to go this whole distance," I have to think first about the first 100 steps (did I actually manage to put my shoes on correctly? still an issue to check), and then the first mile, and hour, and so on... The further ahead I look, unless it is for the sake of pacing, the more futile it seems. Walking has helped me so much to come to so many of the same conclusions for life that Cathy was talking about. It's fun to celebrate the small victories, to have a goal, but to be mindful of the present task at hand. As a teacher, it's something I have to remind myself in a similar manner - both in regards to myself, to teachers with more or less experience, and to students. Those a-ha moments are grand. Admittedly, sometimes it's the kids who never seem to have them and are in the bottom half of the class, yet still, consistently, plugging away that I privately cheer for the most.
What has helped me a lot is the mindset "For every time I'm wrong I learn something new". Asking questions and trying out new stuff isn't so scary when you see it as a learning experience!
i am a beginner. two days ago i took the plunge and created my first item of clothing, a set of pajama pants with pockets, without a pattern, completely hand sewn. today they are finished. they are totally crappy :D and i love the seams on the sides, they look amazing. The pockets are a whole other story. These are the worst pockets anyone ever made and I am super proud of them. they are two inches lower than they should be, and i can see the joint seam where they were inserted. and I don't care because they are there and they function. I didn't know to make the back larger than the front to allow for you know, my back side, so i had to invent something to raise the back, so I made a two inch addition to the waist, inserted the draw string, and it looks like it was always supposed to be like that. It only took 13 hours for me to hand sew that additional part on the waist. Thank you Netflix for keeping me sane for that. I had made one shirt, in my home economics class 30 years ago in school. I am a master quilter, i can hand sew fairly well, if on a straight line or a curved line but on something that will always be flat like a quilt. I am discovering that clothing is a whole different universe, and i have a goal to make a corset in the next year, but for now, These Pants are my first step.
In the US Marine Corps, they say to be a great leader you have to have been a good follower. I think that is basically what you are saying here: be a good beginner so that you can give yourself the time and space to apprentice into a role, ultimately, of mastery.
As a perfectionist, I’ve always been a terrible beginner. I never wanted to try things outside of my comfort zone because I didn’t want to be bad at something. But having worked as a middle and high school teacher for seven years, I have come to appreciate the struggle and determination that comes with learning something new. I took up sewing in May after finding a beautiful vintage sewing machine on sale for only $30. I had been watching costuming and sewing videos on TH-cam for months and I think these videos have helped me start my journey in the right place. Watching someone more experienced share the entire process of making a garnet from start to finish, with all the frustrations and set backs that entails, reminded me that I shouldn’t expect things to be perfect the first time. I’ve had to rip out and resew countless seams, been confused by patterns, made mistakes cutting things out, sewn things on backwards...you name it. But I knew that these things were all part of the journey. It’s been a great opportunity for me to foster my own “growth mindset” and I really value what I’ve learned over past month. I also love the linen shorts I made, even though I hemmed them inside out!
Cathy! I didn’t think I could love you anymore and then I learned you’re also a ballroom dancer! I’ve been doing it for a few years now and I’m still such a beginner. It’s always fun to go to the big competitions and see the stunning Championship-level couples glide effortlessly across the floor. It makes me feel better because I can look at them and think, “Eventually. We’ll get there someday.” In another world I’m a beginner at sewing. Literally just started my first project (a pair of pajama pants) a few weeks ago. I’ve been turning and felling seams and when I did my first felling stitch I thought, “Looks pretty good! Not too shabby for a first pass at this.” Now I assure you my felling is not beautiful. It definitely has problems. But you know what? I think it’s pretty darn good for someone who has never felled before.
I started crocheting when I was 5. I don't really remember being a beginner at that. But I loved the look of knit sweaters. One day I decided I was going to teach myself to knit. I took my two year old down to the craft store and purchased a beginner knitting book with a sweater pattern I could make "for my husband", a pair of knitting needles in the correct size and several cheap giant balls of yarn. Making it for my husband was a nice excuse to keep me motivated, especially because he was away for work at the time, but I knew even then that it was just an excuse and he would likely never wear it. I made a matching sweater for my son. They both turned out terrible. My husband wore his twice, just for me. And they both wore them for a picture. But by the time I finished those sweaters, I was a competent enough knitter to enjoy doing it. I recently (thirteen years later) decided that sweater yarn was the perfect accent color for a set of amigurumi animals I'm making from my yarn stash, so supplies invested in as a beginner don't have to stay in beginner quality projects.
I started sewing again last year, after a long hiatus. I was rubbish. Couldn't remember things, cracked it and chucked it in. Started again...again this year. Calmly, more relaxed and determined to have fun and I am. I ask questions, watch tutorials (just discovered you tube!) and just plod along.
Becoming a parent is the biggest learning curve and to be honest you are always a beginner because your child constantly changes. However, you do learn to laugh at yourself and how to deal with embarrassment. Your analogy of a baby learning to walk is spot on. We have to be kind to ourselves. Try to find other beginners near you and encourage each other. X
I love your chit-chat chin-wags! The way I handle being a beginner is what you said about dancing and just having fun. Before we go to school, we learn through playing. Then we go to school and we have to be serious and playing is only for recess (if we are lucky to have one). We're conditioned to think we have to get it right first thing and if we don't we'll get a bad grade and be judged, and quite possibly embarrassed in front of our peers. Whether from teachers or parents, all this fear leads to the paralysis of perfectionism. There are a whole host of reasons for being intimidated and overwhelmed, but when you can make it a game or keep your humour about it, you're much more likely to practice more--which is the key to getting better at it! Not comparing yourself to others is important, and also not having unrealistic expectations of what you should accomplish by a certain time is critical, as well. I'll never be a Bernadette Banner with teeny back stitches and meticulous goose-quilled boning to make a corset. I'm never going to want to reconstruct the Peacock Dress, either. Thank goodness you're doing that! I'm happy to be along for the journey of others and perhaps down the road I'll aspire to do more. But for now, I don't put that pressure on myself. I'm olde enough to feel like _If it's not fun, I'm not doing it!_
After my first lessons in horsemanship I came home - full of enthusiasm - and tried to replicate what I 'd learned with my own horse. She reared up (stood on her hindlegs) for 3 months everytime I tried to tell her to come to a stop. To this day my sister likes to quote me for saying "today was a great day, she didn't even rear up'. That was more than 10 years ago and I Iaugh everytime someone tells me my horse is so well behaved "she must have been born that way". Nope, it took years of trial an error, lots of lessons, and lots of self-awareness to first change myself and then my horse....
I’m the ‘afraid to fail’ type, and I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect from step 1 that I wind up immobilizing myself. (You can’t fail if you don’t try, right?) This is what I did that I think was a mature way of dealing with failure-and it’s the 1st time I’ve been able to do it this sincerely in my life: Just 2 weeks ago I started my 1st ever sewing project. A pair of flannel pajamas bottoms. I had to borrow a sewing machine and be taught how it worked, how to thread it, what _kind_ of thread to use, how to thread and work the bobbin. I knew _nothing_ ! I bought all the accoutrements, scissors, pins, rulers, etc. without going over-board incase I sucked or hated the process. I watched videos. Got inspired. I took apart some old scrubs and used them as pattern pieces. I asked my mom, who used to make clothes for us as kids...40 years ago, to help and guide. Turns out flannel is one of the hardest fabrics to work with as it stretches, deforms, and shreds. 🤷🏼♀️. Didn’t know that, but I dealt with it. Turns out 3 yards of fabric wasn’t enough because I didn’t consider the width of the fabric, and it was way to narrow, so I had to go back and buy 3 more yards. 🤷🏼♀️ But this gave me the opportunity to use scraps to test out the various stitches my machine made and the pull on them and see, physically, how they work. I also used the scraps to practice different seaming techniques and found out what would work for this fabric and these pajamas. The rest is being made into an easy, square, stuffed cat bed-so Mr. Belvedere benefitted, as well. Then I started drawing out the pattern on the clothe. It was _immediately_ apparent that I had no idea what I was doing. My mother and I worked on the math for about an hour and a half, then kept realizing we were adding wrong. She also clued me in that I didn’t need to worry about a bunch of measurements as pajama bottoms are _not_ a fitted garment! 🤷🏼♀️😂 We started laughing, got two panels done and ate a wonderful dinner. 4 hours of work...2 leg panels. A week later I got back to it. I realized I couldn’t remember what my notes on the measurements meant. 🤦🏼♀️ I almost had to redo everything. That felt defeating, but I walked away for a few minutes and pretty soon my Mom and I were laughing about it. I took pictures and posted on fb. My friends laughed with me. I then went back to it and cut out the last two leg panels. It was when I went to pin them together that I realized they were entirely different shapes. 😧. I could pin them. The seams would touch in about 60% of the leg. I just sat there. My Mom came over and insisted it would work. She said we could sew extra material in the wonky leg and just have a crazy seam. After all-_they’re just pajama bottoms!!_ It took a while, because I was really beginning to beat myself up, and was thinking I was going to have to by 3 _more_ yards of fabric, (what a waste!), when it occurred to me that, in fact, these really were just a pair of pajama bottoms and it didn’t matter _how_ wonky they were, because I’m just sleeping in them!! Finally, I started laughing and joking about them. I even decided I’m going to intentionally screw up the good leg and put a funky seam in that side, too! In doing so, I’m learning about piecing, _and_ , more importantly, _I have a funny story to tell_ ! Cuz when my friends see pictures of this train wreck on my fb wall, they’re going to laugh their butts off. The comments will be amazing. I’m looking forward to the humor. 🤗 I’m 51 years old. A perfectionist. A control-freak. I have never had so many struggles in one process in my life and yet, finally, as I struggled to learn the basics, and screwed up one thing after another, I was able to _laugh_ ! Finally!! Excuse my language, here, but it was like a f-ing breath of fresh air, and I haven’t had one in so long I can’t even remember the last time I took one! From one ‘afraid to fail’ person to all the others: For the love of God, learn to laugh off your mistakes and turn them into fun learning experiences!! No one else sees you as a failure. Only you do, and it’s bullsh*t. Failure is the best way to learn! ❤️❤️❤️
I have been drawing for a little under two years now and I still feel like a beginner. My proportions are not always right, and I usually have those days where I just have to cover up a drawing and start over because i just wasn’t satisfied with it. But I have hanged all my first drawings for the last twelve sketchbooks on my wall just besides my desk and they serve as a reminder that “hey, I am doing progress and in a few years time, I will have be even better than I am now”. I am not ashamed of them because they are a a part of the journey and without them I would not be where I am today (even if that isn’t a lot). I am just starting out on my sewing, riding and piano adventures and this video is so helpful. The riding coach I have been riding with so far has really helped me and I am more than happy to receive feedback from her even if that is quite frequent. Thank you, Cathy, for making this video!
5:35 "You get to the place where you are feeling what they feel and imagining how it feels to get that level of skill" - THIS! Yes, this is exactly what happened to me after watching at least 15 of Bernadette's videos (I started there then I got here to you Cathy). I started to actually enjoy hand stitching, and before that I never enjoyed it. But just watching Bernadette being so passionate about it, excited, doing it so patiently, meticulously and gracefully, this just made me absorb that feeling.
When I first learned to crochet in college, from my grandmother, I only knew one stitch. It wasn't great, and my scarves were very wavy, but it was a scarf and it was crocheting. And a friend of mine in college got excited by this and wanted me to teach her. She took that one stitch I managed to teach her (backwards, because I was left-handed) and went on for years, making amigurumi animals and things that I never learned. Sometimes your one little beginner thing that you're not even good at will excite someone else to try.
I'm a slow beginner. In the sense that I need to read and think way more ahead than I technically need to get started. Yet, somehow mentally I do need that. Couple of years ago I learned to accept that that is how I roll. I need the theoretical bits of extra to give me the courage to problem solve creatively once I get started. That said, there still is the beginning. Years ago I learned spinning. Cleaning the wool, carding it, spinning it. And in one of the things I read or saw the advise to cherish the first yards of home spun yarn as the most precious thing. It would look like pregnant earthworms. But never ever would you be able to recreate the structure of what you can make in the beginning, even when trying really hard to get that effect in bulky art yarn. Best advise ever! And it's true. The first time a kid draws a human, potato head, legs and arms is so precious. And it can't be recreated. Not in that joyful exploring way. So, yes, very slow starter here. It can take me months and months of mental preparation. But when I start, I revel, also in the mistakes.
I think a big reason I've made a switch in interest from drawing to sewing is the fact that it is so easy to compare your work to other people's but when I'm sewing and making things that are unique I don't have an example of something that is "better". With drawing I used to get frustrated cause I had ideas but they weren't translating to paper the way I wanted, I felt like I was constantly trying to imitate other artists and existing concepts. It makes me kinda sad to think if I had decided to stick with drawing and pursue a career in art I could have been really good but I quit because I felt discouraged when I looked at other people's work. Which is a shame because I wasn't bad at drawing, in fact I really like my art now but I just never knew how to view my work without seeing everything flaw and thing that I didn't like about it. So if you're feeling discouraged just remember that you won't automatically be good at everything. And its not a talent to be good at something but it is a skill that you learn. (This is very long and I'm kinda just writing this to encourage myself to not get too discouraged about my current sewing project because its not working out how I wanted it to, but if it helps anyone else then that's cool)
I’ve been sewing for 50 years and I still learn something new every crazy new project I attempt. One thing I will tell you is a very good sewing machine is a must. Fabric pulls through the sewing foot area much better on a good machine. I can’t hand sew as beautiful as Cathy Hay does. Hey that’s ok.😁
I learned the basics of knitting when I was 5 years old, but I never progressed past knitting a square. At age 22, I inherited a bunch of knitting needles and decided to really learn, so I bought books and made a bunch of little things like scarves, mittens knit flat and seamed and such. Easy projects. Two years after I picked up that first project, I offered to make a shawl for my mom, had her choose one from a wonderful book, and said I’d make it for Christmas. It took months to find yarn in the exact color she wanted, it was October before I found it, and the shawl was a touch over 1.5 meters square. I knit like crazy trying to get it done only to discover a mistake 7 cm back at a point when each row was 3500 stitches long and took an hour for me to knit...3 days before Christmas. My “I get it!” moment came when I figured out how to correct the mistake without ripping out 400+ m of yarn. If I hadn’t had that “aha” moment, I wouldn’t have been able to bind off that last stitch on Christmas Eve, just in time to get it under the tree. It’s still my favorite project because I learned so much from it.
I bought myself a sewing machine under quarantine, with the intention to learn to sew clothes for myself. I'm taking a sewing class, and after having sewed my first pair of pants, I got so intimidated by the next project which is a skirt, with a lot of little mock-ups to learn the techniques. I got so intimidated that I've parked that class for a while. But by some happy accident, I discovered sewing bags - so I make bags and lots of them. Whenever I get to finish a bag I'm so happy and feel so accomplished. Within the last week, the desire to make clothes are slowly coming back. I'm finding dresses and skirts that look like something I could make as a beginner, and that will give me the confidence to pick up my sewing class again. It definitely feels the break from clothes making and having success with something else, was right for me. I find that my road to learning to sew clothes is not as straight forward as I originally thought it would be, but what I've picked up along the way is so much more giving and fun, that I'm no longer doubting that I will learn eventually. I just need to take detours from time to time. I find that I'm sewing stuff I never thought I would sew, nor being proud of. The best compliment was when I showed a bag I made to my husband which had been at sea for 2 months, and my son replies "Oh I thought you had bought it" My heart just melted with pride.
"It's okay to be bad at things."
"Being a beginner is worth investing in."
SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS PLEASE
Can I just say thank you for your words.... They count for more than just sewing
Okay, but I need a clip of you cheering the baby "Yay!! Look at you!! You did it!!" For every time I finish a big step in a project.
Yes ! This ! ;)
I feel like I'm about to become a gif. 😄
@@CathyHay the Gift of a Gif ! ;)
Cathy, you may be come a gif. Although what a beautiful up beat gif
Think of it as "I DID IT", with a big fat "I", like a toddler would proudly say.
I'm 60, and started sewing when I was 10. Started sewing for 'pin money' 40 years ago. As a member of the SCA, I've gone to classes to stretch my knowledge on other fiber related skills. In one of those classes, I learned to spin. I felt like a cack handed 3 year old. My yarn was lumpy, thick, thin, and the only thing consistent about it was that it was cream coloured. It was a wonderful class, and I still have that first bit of yarn. One of the instructors also noticed something that I had never thought about, but to this day makes a great deal of difference. I'm 'right-handed'. Or at least I always thought that I was. As she was working with me, she asked me why I was spinning 'off-handed'. I didn't know what she meant. She put the wool and spindle in a left orientation and it was like a switch was tripped. My second attempt was pretty good. She just smiled at me, and has called me Lefty ever since. A month or so later, I asked my mom when I started being 'right handed', and she explained that I hadn't decided which hand to use, so the teacher decided for me. (lightbulb moment!) Since then, I've learned that many things that I have issues with right-handed make far more sense when I use my left.
Oh Jaye, you are that rarest of the rare...ambidextrous! I'm aggressively left, and the problems I've encountered have forced adaptations I never would have thought. Do try left handed tools, they might prove amazingly comfortable to you. My left handed scissors are the most zealously guarded tool I own. Carefully hidden and lovingly stored, I'll never part with them.
@@DodiTov I have been exploring left handed tools. Two of the biggest discoveries were a left-handed Inkle loom, and... that I could switch my mouse to the left! I've recently gotten a pair of left handed scissors. :)
Oh yes, 63 and got the ruler smack. But I got one up on that teacher, I do 80 percent of tasks with either hand, especially mechanical tasks. So does my son who was left handed and decided he wanted to be like mom and be able to use both hands. Comes in very handy😁
@@evestone5361 Cool. It certainly does help to be able to use both hands. My #3 son is an OMG lefty. When he was having issues writing, I found him a left hand nib fountain pen. He wore it out. He's learned over time to use his right as he is a chef.
Jaye Sudar I spin left and right handed! I am self taught and just did what felt right to me which was mostly left handed. I switch back and forth for plying too. I thought I was the only one! My grandmother knit and sewed left handed, but she was a school teacher so she had to write with her right hand to teach. I think she was probably ambidextrous too!
About 20 years ago, when I started to study Japanese, I was standing on the metro platform and saw a Japanese girl. I decided just to talk to her in Japanese. She was surprised and delighted to speak to someone in her own language. I'm fluent now, but back then that little step forward, that little courageous act helped me understand that it was ok not to speak perfectly. It helped me on the way to getting where I am now with my proficiency.
I can't wait to do that with a Chinese class I'm taking this year in school.
I want to do that with Swedish, but Swedish speakers are rare in my corner of Canada
One of the reasons a lot of beginners in anything, really, me included, are afraid of being a begginner are people treating you Like you should already know whatever it is you are asking *cough* teachers and profesors *cough*. You are treated like a moron for asking.
Probably the best advice I've been given (well, maybe not THE best, but it is up there) was in my second anatomy lecture in uni. 'Ask questions. And I'm not going to say there are no stupid questions-there are INCREDIBLY stupid questions. But you are at the beginning of your medical journey and it is better to ask a stupid question now then to do a stupid thing later.'
So many other profesors were the type to shame you for asking things 'You should have already learned that, how are you studying medicine and don't already know??'. But that professor? You could've point to a femur ask 'Is that part od the leg?' and she'd still answer without shaming you. She was amazing.
I do computer programming for a living. One of the first things I tell any new programmers I interact with is "There's no stupid questions, only stupid answers." Because if you legit don't understand something, the question isn't stupid. And if I can't explain it in a way that makes sense, that's on me, not them.
@@tajhamarleau6700 I think that my professor was refering to those 'is bone made out of bone tissue?' types of questions.
But for the most part I do also agree with your sentiment. One time one brave soul asked one professor somethinga ne je went on long tangent on how we should already know it and how stupid se are for not knowing it and then another brave soul Said 'BUT WE HAVEN'T LEARNED THAT YET!'. Only then did the profesore realize that the module the thing on question was supposed to be taught in only came AFTER his module.
He did apologize however and procedeed to ask whether we already learned stuff related to the topic of every following lecture.
@@elenanojkovic2554 Tbh, if I got a "is bone made out of bone tissue?" kind of question, it *would* probably give me pause for a moment, but then I'd answer and ask questions of my own to try to figure out why they asked something so seemingly silly. There's usually an interesting thought process behind those kinds of questions. Either that or there's some strange misinformation going around. XD
I always say the only truly stupid question is the one that isn't asked, because you'll never know the answer to it.
I've also found that some question sound stupid because people struggle to formulate it in words. It's hard to know what you don't know when you don't know...
@@Dwynfal Not knowing what you don't know is rough. I came up with an analogy about that long ago after dealing with people who were supposed to be teaching me, but expected me to just ask questions. It's like being in a dark room and told to ask questions. I don't even know where to start asking. Let me at least get a nightlight on in here first so I can have somewhere to start.
My motto has always been: I'd rather ask the dumb question and be thought an idiot, than NOT ask the question and BE an idiot.
I like that!!
Mary Coffin, that´s right! I always ask the „dumb question“. And every time i ask it, i look around. And there is always someone looking glad, thinking “thank goodness, someone is asking that!”
I'm a librarian and one of my duties is helping patrons use our computers (or at least was before the plague). I frequently heard people telling me that they were stupid for not knowing how to use one. I would tell them that the only reason that I know a little more than them is that I use them everyday and have for decades. Most people are more capable than they think they are. It's the ones that think that they know everything that are scary.
I am definitely one who gets paralyzed by the fear of failing. I had not sewn in years, but decided to make masks for the family this spring. I was surprised how difficult it was to cut out that fabric. I was terrified of making a mistake. I watched a video over and over again and read the very limited instructions a few times and actually made a mask that fitted to my face and looked OK. I even added the touch of sewing an ornament hanger wire into the mask to make it fit better. Then I made a few more. It's just a cotton mask, but I felt great when it was finished. Now I'm thinking about taking a sewing class.
As an instructor, I love beginners and beginner's questions. So many of their classmates benefit from beginner's questions. It helps to remind myself of this when I am at the beginning of something.
When I see a fellow student's hand go down in class, I'll just skip right to the point. "If you have a question, there's a good chance someone else has that same question, so you might as well ask now." It always gets them to ask their question, and more often than not I myself benefit from the instructor's answer that follows, or at lest the peek into the other student's thought process. Questions are more important than we give them credit for.
When I taught myself to weld, my dad wasn't around enough to teach me, so he gave me one 30 minute lesson. Now over 15 years later I get mad when people say "you are so talented, you can just do anything. I wish I could do that." I get mad because it isn't talent, it was 15 years of failing! Countless hours of welds that were no good, but I kept failing until my welds were good. But through all that time, I never hated my failures because everyone is slightly better than the last.
I loved this video, thank you. ❤❤❤
Yes!
I still need to learn welding! My Dad was hot rod mechanic, and whenever I feel bad for not learning things from him I remember that he just put a lot of time into it, and he made most of his mistakes before I was around to see them.
@@Velostigmat You should learn, I only know how to stick weld. But you should learn, there are lots of videos on TH-cam these days, and used welders are cheaper than you would think.
I've always wanted to weld. I go to sign up for a class and they won't let me because I'm a girl. That makes me mad. I'd love to do craft items to sale. 💜Connie Smith in Salt Lake City Utah.
@@conniesmith3169 That makes me so mad!!! Metallica (the band) set up grants at a college here, it is for women who want a degree in welding or machining.
Just by a welder and start watching TH-cam videos, I know you can do it! If you were in Kansas I would teach you what I know.
Cathy's impression of a mom cheering on a baby is the fuel I needed to survive 2020
Hi Cathy, I am a beginner in sewing historic/vintage costume, but not new to sewing. I have made a few first dresses that even as a person who has sewn modern clothes for years, my venture into costume sewing is not perfect and completely new. I am so thankful to you and all those in the costuming community that make these encouraging videos about being a beginner and where tobstart. You have really helped me get the confidence and drive to start and keep trying and failing forward. To answer your question of one way in which I think I have been a good beginner, I have to tell you about the time I made my first 1920s 1 hour dress. I had no pattern and was drafting it from an article I found online from and old magazine. The armscye was drafted too short. Suffice to say, I got stuck in the dress mockup and my husband had to come and cut me out of the dress. There I was with my arms stuck in the air and the dress over my upper half of my body was just stuck. I had never drafted anything before. I didn’t even like altering patterns. But I wanted to make this dress so bad that after me and my husband had a good laugh, I vowed to conquer this simple 1920s 1 hour pattern and I did. I have since made 3. This is probably the most simple pattern to but being able to complete this dress makes me feel like I have joined the costuming community.
As a beginner there Is so much out here that you can learn from
i recently unlocked the ability to knit! i have been trying to learn how to knit for almost 17 years now, always stuck at the most basic beginner level. i could cast on, knit a few rows then suddenly end up creating a whole bunch of new stitches out of nowhere, and I just could not get my hands to purl for the life of me. almost every year I get the urge to try learning again and every year I just don't understand and put it down again.
the urge hit again this year just after my birthday and at first I thought "no, don't even bother. if you haven't gotten it by now you aren't ever going to get it." but then i realized that's a really mean thing to say to yourself. i grabbed my old needles, a dusty ball of yarn from the closet, and sat down and tried again. i began, started knitting a few rows, but i wasn't adding new stitches. i got comfortable just doing that for a bit before i got to the dreaded purl. i gave it a shot and guess what, it clicked. it finally made sense. after 17 years of trying it FINALLY made sense. it made sense enough that i was able to learn how to complete my project and not unravel it. is it great? not even close, but its something i was able to actually make.
im just so excited and happy to finally have been able to get it to click after so long of trying, and that i can finally get to the fun stuff like following a pattern. i really think the thing that allowed me to finally get it to click was changing my mentality. stop being so mean to myself, allowing myself to just try and not caring about the outcome. you really can be your own worst enemy when it comes to learning new things. be nice to yourself and don't give up. it may take you a day to learn or it may take you 17 years, just keep trying.
I have a knitting mantra: in, around, through and off. I say it for every stitch - not out loud these days but it's still there in my mind. My older sisters, both accomplished knitters would tease me mercilessly, but the mantra got me through! 😂
So glad it finally clicked!! My first project was a dishcloth for my mom, which she loving teased by saying it looked like it grew a whole lot of tumors! I hope you love your new step in the journey with the craft. 💛
YAY!! CONGRATULATIONS!
I also just re-taught myself to knit! I was “good enough” as a kid when my mum taught me the basics (but she quickly got frustrated with me). Recently, I had the revelation of “I can sew... but I don’t want to buy another ready-to-wear sweater anytime soon.” So I just... practiced. Now on my way to knitting my first cardigan and I’m so excited!
smallishkae oh, you can do it!! I haven’t bought a machine made cardigan in nearly 4 years. They aren’t nearly as hard as they seem, especially if you start with a fairly basic pattern like a top down raglan.
You're such a wonderful inspiration, Cathy! I've wanted to learn to sew for YEARS but I've never made the time to do so. Since losing my job due to COVID, I found the wonderful historical dress community here and have fallen in LOVE (I went to Uni for History, so of course this is possibly the best thing ever in my eyes). I'm a total beginner, I've never sewed anything. Because money is tight right now, instead of buying supplies to start I've taken to doing what I do best: research. The other day I had the most amazing moment watching a video because I knew the names of THREE WHOLE STITCHES before the person said what they are! I literally did a little dance on my couch because I KNEW SOMETHING! Three weeks in and I'm excited that I knew something off the cuff! :D
I have a similar beginning! I’m a very research oriented person in the first place, but I think I watched CosTube and historical & vintage sewing videos for 6 months before I ever actually picked up a needle and thread. By the time that first project came around it felt like such a breeze because of the base knowledge I had going in. My next project is going to involve a little bit of self drafting and draping because I want to make a 40s version of a 70s pinafore I saw on an etsy listing, so I’ve ordered a couple books and I plan on watching as many videos as I can find about draping before I every go to a mock up. I know not everyone out there can learn this way, but it’s fun knowing there are other people out there who are starting out the way I did :) I hope you find work soon and can afford to make all the projects you can dream up!
I totally love the image of you dancing on couch because you knew the names of 3 stitches 🧵- it’s beautiful to find your niche
Same here - thanks, Covid! I lost my job and suddenly got lots and lots of time... thanks to discovering the costuming community on Instagram I know what to do with all that time!
Cathy,
I wish I'd seen this years ago when I was still studying ballet in New York. I was certainly not a beginner by the time I got there, but I had worked so hard for so long (15 hours a day, 6 days a week since I was 9...) That I was so, so tired. For every thing I got right I ground down harder on myself because it wasn't ALL right, that I entirely burned myself out. I wish I had the advice to find inspiration to keep going and to reward myself.
But even now as I painstakingly fell stitch every seam on this stupid 18th century men's shirt (thanks Bernadette Banner) I've sat here and watched your videos about the Peacock gown and dreamt of the beautiful things I want to make in the future. All while you kept me company.
So thank you Cathy, for being a fantastic mentor.
Your dance story is delightful, please keep dancing when the pandemic is over, you're right, you can feel others people feelings.
I think my best beginner story is about me and ballet. I took a few ballet classes as a kid, but I wasn't able to keep doing it, even though I would've liked to, and I kind of forgot about it. Well, two moves and around seven years later, I suddenly found myself in a position where I could take classes again. I got started, and boy, was I bad. I was twice the age of my classmates, with half the experience, and I felt like I was the worst dancer ever. I wasn't flexible, I didn't know more than the barest of basics, and I was in an intermediate class, to make matters worse, because I was too old for the beginner classes. But I kept doing it. I would go right when we were supposed to go left, struggle through barre going at half speed, and in the wrong pattern, I would use the wrong arms, and look at my feet, and generally struggle. But I'd ask questions. I'd go home and look up anything I could, and practice again and again. I was bad, but I was stubborn. And slowly, slowly, I began to improve. Two years later, I'm still usually the worst in the room, but I give it all I can, I apply all the feedback I'm given, and I get there. I still go the wrong way a lot, and use the wrong foot, but I'm still here, and learning. I remember having a breakthrough moment a few months ago, when a friend wanted me to help her learn some ballet. I would look at myself dancing, and actually see someone who knew what they were doing! I would do 6 or 7 chainé turns, and then remember that I could barely do three without falling over a year ago. I would do steps, and realize that those steps I was doing without really thinking, were steps I could barely execute at all just a few months prior. I wasn't perfect, certainly, but I was so much better than I ever expected to be. One thing I really didn't realize until that moment was that, through having to be corrected time and time again, and through listening to everyone else's notes, I had learned how to teach. I could tell what wasn't right, and how to fix it, while still knowing how it feels to not get it. It made me a much more compassionate teacher. Being a good beginner gave me skills many dancers never have, and that's something I'm really proud of. So yeah, that's my story!
As a trained art teacher, I've had many students who were frustrated they couldn't make an amazing piece of artwork the first time they used a new media. I would ask them "what does a small child learning to draw do?" They would respond, "The child scribbles." I would then tell them that "every time we learn a new skill, we have a scribble stage. So of course it isn't going to look as we expect because we are still learning." That seemed to help people realized that the scribble stage is an important part of the learning process. Thanks for your video Madam Hay!
As someone who’s just picked up her childhood love of drawing again in her 30’s and has been quite frustrated with the results: that is AMAZING advice! Seeing it as an essential stage & not failure is so helpful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.
You’re welcome Sweetie Dahling. I’m glad my words helped you!
@Cory Van Zytveld "Scribbling"? Scribbling. Yes, _scribbling_. SCRIBBLING! YES! Thank you!
@ruby nibs yes!!!!! Keep on scribbling!
@sweetie dahling! Also, Good for you for picking it up again. So many children stop making art because they “can’t draw” which translated means “I’m having a hard time drawing realistically” (preteens reach the “want to draw realistically stage” of development, but without the training and patience to do it so many people stop drawing at this age). As a result so many adults will tell you that they aren’t artists because they can’t draw! What they forget is that many great artist don’t need to or are good at drawing. Kind of a tangent but wanted to let you know, I’m proud of you for getting back into it.
I keep reminding myself "No one is BORN knowing this stuff." I've even said that to people who try to shame me for asking a seemingly (to them) simple question. Everyone learned this (whatever) at some point in time; I know I have a good brain, there is no reason I can't learn it as well.
Yes!! I was in my *thirties* before I started looking at people I knew who had learned to knit or crochet or sew or embroider, and say to myself, "Well if *they* can learn to do it, *I* certainly can!"
I don’t think I have ever been so inspired by a video💚✨. A beginner moment. A friend of mine wanted a pair of fair isle style mittens for her daughter. I had never tried fair isle, but I figured this was the time to learn. And I did it! I had to take the yarn out twice when I first started, but I got it on the third time and now I love fair isle knitting! 💚✨🖤
I was a beginner at sewing 18 months ago. I had never touched a machine in my life and wanted so badly to make a costume. I ended up making my own wedding dress a few months ago with 600 hours of work and hand embroidery and showed it off to 250 people on my wedding day. The mistakes are how we learn. The darts on my first dress were hideous 😂 Thank you for your inspiration in helping me be where I want to be.
From Ira Glass: "Nobody tells people who are beginners - and I really wish somebody had told this to me - is that all of us who do creative work … we get into it because we have good taste. But it’s like there’s a gap, that for the first couple years that you’re making stuff, what you’re making isn’t so good, OK? It’s not that great. It’s really not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not quite that good. But your taste - the thing that got you into the game - your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you, you know what I mean?
A lot of people never get past that phase. A lot of people at that point, they quit. And the thing I would just like say to you with all my heart is that most everybody I know who does interesting creative work, they went through a phase of years where they had really good taste and they could tell what they were making wasn’t as good as they wanted it to be - they knew it fell short, it didn’t have the special thing that we wanted it to have.
And the thing I would say to you is everybody goes through that. And for you to go through it, if you’re going through it right now, if you’re just getting out of that phase - you gotta know it’s totally normal."
As someone who has just exited college and is building a career in a nationwide company, the biggest complement that I've received is that I ask a lot of questions and learn things quickly. I've recently been shifted to the "more advanced" side of the team as one of my peers is about to go on maternity leave so after 6 months of getting processes down, I'm starting anew. I'm working hard to be a good beginner and advocating for myself to my manager and supervisor so I have enough time to do things twice when I inevitably fail and have to restart tasks.
I've been working in my field for 25+ years. One thing I've always been told is that I ask a lot of questions but it's a good thing because I was obviously more concerned with improving my skill set than protecting my ego. Good luck with your future endeavors.
While I was watching I remembered this quote: “I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me.”
I think that my own expectations have often gotten in the way of my improvement, but truly that example with the baby was perfect :) I should celebrate what I do instead of berating myself for every single thing I perceive as wrong.
This really resonated with me also!
Wow! Love the quote
My beginner moment happened a few days ago actually. I'm making a patch for my boyfriend as a present for his graduation. It's this cute lil cactus with a graduation cap on top. I've been doing cross stitch for around 3 years I believe, but embroidery was a completely different task for me, and I really wanted to do a french knot to fill in the cactus body. Now, for months, this stitch had eluded me. I absolutely could not figure it out, but the other day, after the thread just sinking through the fabric for the nteenth time, I watched another beginners embroidery video, and slowly followed the persons movements, and I did it! the stitch stayed on top of the fabric! Now, the cactus body is almost filled in, and my french knots have gotten super good, and I'm very proud of doing that one little stitch.
Thank you for the inspiring video Ms. Hay. I greatly appreciate the boost of self esteem I get after watching you.
I'm amazing at being a first time mom 🥰 I have realized that I actually can be in the moment for the first time in my life and I'm enjoying it so so so much 😍 And also she loves me for it, I really can tell 💖🍀
I read something recently in a book about kids and resilience that seems to me to be applicable to all of us, in that we don't often get taught to enjoy the process of learning, rather it's taught as a chore that you have to get through in order to achieve the shiny thing at the end. We say things like 'oh that looks too difficult for you, why don't you try this easier thing instead' and celebrate when something has come easily to them. Instead we could say 'oh that seemed really easy for you, lets try this harder thing to give you more of an enjoyable challenge.' It flips that idea on it's head of 'you're no good because you're a beginner and haven't yet achieved excellence' into 'you're a beginner - how wonderful that you're taking on this new challenge and learning something new or developing your skills!'
Ooh, I really like that! We used to learn things for fun before that got trained out of us.
Just remember as beginners,noone is standing over you with a stopwatch. Its your own journey. Making my own blouse and finishing it and trying it on was a milestone in my beginnership. Very satisfying!
I'm making a skirt from scratch. Its my 4th ever garment to make. Its a simple circleskirt, and I'm mostly using handstitching for the first time. I learned how to properly sew in a zipper and at this very moment, Im trying to sew on hooks and eyes, also for the first time. And i know that every stitch is wonky, and the pattern doesnt really match up but hey, thats kinda the excitement of making the first few sewingprojects, right? (Also im not using a pattern, just winging it and a bit of thoughtfullness)
Thank you for the inspiration, Cathy :)
Luca Mannstein - enjoy this skirt. When someone compliments you on it, say “Thank you.”
A hand sewn skirt was my second ever project (I'm now on #4 lol) and it's so exciting to start making these projects and have them come together. I wish you luck on your sewing journey! Also The Pattern Making Primer by Jo Barnfield and Andrew Richards is a good read when making your own patterns (though honestly some packing paper, a measuring tape and a sharpie is often all I've been using lol
Thank you, Cathy. One of my favorite sayings is, "Have the courage to suck at trying something new today."
I've never sewn fabric before (I'm married to a leatherworker), but we decided to make a Regency petticoat in the week leading up to CoCoVid. It wasn't going to be perfect & that was OK. I made a mistake with the spacing of the pintucks, & decided I preferred the mistake. It's still not finished, but soon I'll have a petticoat for my Napoleonic kit 😊
Hi Cathy!
Ok so I’ll try to keep this short, but tbh that probably won’t happen lol
Hello, my name is Christabel, I am 15, and I live with a family that is not very supportive/good for my mental health which means I have quite a few mental problems and doubts in my abilitybut watching your videos have helped me tremendously in finding the light at the end of the tunnel. My dream is to become a writer and an animator, and I feel like I can do it, even though no one really supports it. I feel like when I write and draw that I am living the story of my life I have always wanted. I have always daydreamed that I was in a beautiful story, as a form of escape from my messy life, and I hope one day I can create that for others too. I have learned that i can’t chase anyone else’s dreams for my life, but I can and will do whatever I need to achieve my own. I feel like you’re like my cool aunt who believes in what I want to do lol. I know it’s kinda cheesy, but your videos are amazing pep talks to make me feel like I can achieve anything I set my mind to.
Well this comment is quite long and doesn’t really make sense, but I just want to thank you for all your kind and inspiring words that help me keep going and creating :)
Much love from America
-Christabel
As soon as I've accomplished a mini victory, I stop what I'm doing and take a break. The break times serves as a time to let the happy sink in, take a breather knowing there's far more to go, and reward myself with a snack or just the scenery of a different room (eyes need breaks too!) or some fresh air.
...And sometimes I'll watch a Cathy Hay video
I went through fashion school, I legit thought I was going to have to quit after one week when I couldn't even figure out how to operate the industrial machines. It's just a matter of attempting at something you don't understand enough times until it starts to make sense.
OMG, it was the computer program for graphic design. A month my instructor worked with me, then bingo, the lights turned on. Got my associates any several completion awards for designs and photography. Then I couldn't get a job in the field and worked a non design job for 20 years. Totally confused by computers again, so back to basics. But will learn again, to use it for resources to do my own thing for me and my wardrobe. So a crazy circle to be a beginner again at 63. 😁
I'm an aspiring author, and I've gone through my fair share of beginner struggles.
I've been writing, probably since I could pick up a pencil, and yet I always saw my improvement as minimal. I never saw anything I could be proud of because I was so blinded by these works of fiction that authors who had been at it for years had created. I'm not going to be that great at writing at 12 years old. In fact, when I compare myself, there are so many things to improve on, I commonly get overwhelmed, and shut down.
However, as I write and as I see the sentences slowly become a story that paints a picture in someone's mind, I remember why I wanted to write for my career. It brings me so much joy to read books, to escape into a world where I'm not concerned about my family's financial situation, or whether I'm going to get shoved into a locker tomorrow at school. I want to be able to be that form of comfort to others.
As I've gone through my trials and errors, even though I'm still a child, I've learned that all of the mistakes I make, and all of the times I get so frustrated I want to throw my computer across my room, are worth what the end result will be. I want to be great at writing. I don't need to be the next C.S. Lewis or J.K. Rowling to be a good author, and that's what so many people don't realize.
Even if you aren't a huge celebrity, or making millions, you can still be amazing at something and help people. It all starts with being an amateur, a novice who knows nothing about what to do, but the important part is that you persevere through the struggles.
This video comes on the right moment I’m 34 and I’m turning my career around and I’m a beginner again and I feel so unsafe, insecure... so scared! Thanks for this!
I feel this! I just turned 31 and just went back to school... it's terrifying. We've got this though!
@@ellenuttmark7946 I went back to school at 28 to finish my BSW. I had the time of my life. I was focused with my goal in mind. I wouldn't have been able to do that at 19. I was able to appreciate what I was doing and the empowering feeling it gave me knowing I was accomplishing my goal. You will do this!!!
Look over the things you have accomplished in your life so far. Write them down and I mean every thing (!), tape them to the bathroom mirror and congratulate yourself on those accomplishments each morning. Puts things in perspective. You have made it each day in those 34 years and there were times it was not easy but you did it. You found a way to get through that time and make it to the next day, the next week, month and year. Use that feeling of accomplishment and self awareness in taking on this new career path!!
We believe it you! You can do it! (I started my business 3yrs ago and encouragement from random strangers can be very uplifting!)
wandering Inge oh my god thanks so much!!!! That comment just made my day! I officially changed career today and I was feeling quite overwhelmed, so please I read your comment! Little gestures like this make me day brighter and lighter!
First off, you are amazing!
When I first started historic fencing week after week I would practice the moves and practice and practice til my arms and feet were in sync (I am the clumsiest person ever) and I didn't have to think about where my plastic practice sword was supposed to go for each move. Then one day a few weeks in my instructor said "ok today you are going to spar with Nathan" (I had watched Nathan in competitions before and he was amazing) and my immediate response was "oh no im not nearly that good" but he tossed me a helmet and a metal sparring sword. I stepped into the circle scared out of my mind, but then my muscles took over and my brain went into "whats his stance? OK hes in X stance so he's going to strike with X strike" and then hs did and i parried without even thinking about it. After about 5 minutes of back and forth I landed my first strike and almost jumped out of my skin! For so long I had seen people sparring and exchanging blows and thought "I'd never be that good" or "it will take me years to get to that level" but then I was in the circle and I did the thing and realized "I'm only ever going to get better by sparring with people better than me!" It was this amazing "Ahah!" Moment. And now im taking those lessons into the sewing room and applying them there.
I have been horseback riding off and on for 10 years at various camps and stables. The summer after my first horse camp experience, my dad took me to a place for a trainer to assess my level, and I got to canter for the first time in my life. I had a solid seat, and my dad said my face lit up in pure joy. I continued riding that horse at that stable and failed miserably at controlling and working with the horse for the entire summer. I left the stable and wasn't able to ride again until the following summer at a different stable, where I mucked stalls in exchange for lessons. I felt my dad had hyped up my skill level to this trainer, and I felt like I could never complete the barn tasks to her satisfaction. All I wanted was a place where I could ride freely and bond with a horse, which I didn't get. Fast-forward to last summer where I was able to work at a camp safely, in spite of Covid, and I was horse staff. I don't know what happened, but I was fully at home in the barn and around the horses. I confidently rode every horse the camp had from a big Belgian draft horse to what were technically ponies, and I am certified as a level 2 instructor. While I am no expert horsewoman, I have gained enough experience and expertise to inspire other young children to love horses the way I do.
This Vlog is so me at the moment, I've been sewing since I was 15 and I'm now 54, life is a funny thing, I worked hard and loved to learn and get new skills, but 3 years ago I had a mental melt down and had to be medicated and still am just not so much, what this has taught me is do what you have always wanted and try new stuff but don't let the fear get to you, foundation garments I've made but dress inner foundation is a different ball game, so there's a project. Hand sewing is a love of mine but to hand sew whole garment, yes there another whole new project, so what I'm trying to say is, your never to old and you will never know every thing but you can have a go and just relax and enjoy because that's why we are who we are "creative Sensitive people" so go and do before your to old and regret it. Jason from Stoke on Trent 🤓
I have to remind myself that projects won’t end up as I hope when I’m just starting out but that I can always do a project again. That my first pair of pants won’t be perfect but that I can always make a second one that still won’t be perfect but will probably be better!
I'm doing it Cathy. At 50, I'm escaping all of my demons and starting my new beginning. My house sold within 3 days and i bought a beautiful little retirement park home by the coast with a spare room for sewing. The closing date is only days away. The horizon now reveals a renewed hope of freedom, interior design, historical research, learning, costumery, playing with my cats, and long walks along the coast wearing copious amounts of vintage tweed and handmade historical garments. Thank you, my dearest Cathy Hay, for sharing your journey and for providing a truly safe space that allows HSPs to breathe again. You are forever an inspiration. From Leicester (but not for much longer) with love. Tonia xXx
Dear Cathy,
When you used the baby learning to walk allegory I had to laugh out loud. I learned how to walk really late, my parents even had to send me to ergo therapy to get me walking. I knew how to speak very well before I even learned how to walk. I used to focus on the fact that I was a very early speaker and be a little ashamed of my late walking endeavours. Your video made me look at it in a different way: I took my time with walking and needed a little help to get started but now I am as good a walker as anybody else. I was a great beginner as a baby. To new beginnings!
Thank you and lots of love!
Omg, I had the exact same experience with learning to walk! I could talk in full sentences pretty early on, but it took sooo long (and many hours of ergo therapy) until I was able to walk without losing balance and tripping over my own feet. I love your take on it though- it‘s true, by now I can’t all just fine. What an achievement! :)
I am a late walker too, but I started babbling and asking questions very early. My parents have a favorite story of me. My brother was just born, and I was feeling superior to him, so I know exactly how old I was. At 25 months of age, I told my parents (in German): „I want the Person, who‘s name starts with the letter m to change my diaper!“
I think I started walking so late, because I could tell people from a very early age what I wanted, so they would get it for me.
My daughter was opposite, she walked when she was 9months old, but she didn't start talking until she was 18 months old. I was not worried about her, I knew that when she started talking, she would never stop, lol. I was right (she is 16 now ♥️)
So I'm coming back to sewing after 12-ish years and I never really did hand stitching, so I figured I'd start easy and make a sewing bag, then I made it hard on myself by giving the bag compartments. And I was hemming(not the sewing kind) and hawing about how everyone would see my 'awful noob stitching' where I attached the compartment walls to the outer walls. At some point I decided that the whole bag would be two layers of fabric and I realized that all I had to do if I wanted to not have to look at it later and think 'I could do this so much better now' 5 years down my road was only stitch the compartment walls to the inside layer of the outer walls, and I was doing tabletop gaming with my friends and working on it when I exclaimed "I'M AN ACCIDENTAL GENIUS!" and got to feel really good that a decision I made was a good one for the thing I'm working on on levels that I hadn't originally intended.
First of all, I am so proud of you Cathy, your voice is stronger and you sounded wonderful!!!! thank you for your wonderful videos
Growing up I could not learn to read nor write, (I am 60) and they didn't know much about learning disabilities, and coming from an extremely abusive home, being told I was too stupid to learn did not help matters. I was forced to quit school at 15, to watch my younger siblings (I was told I was too stupid to learn, I would have to marry and have children, so I didn't need to waste time in school) after I left home at 17, I went back to school, I could barely read or write, but they passed me.
After I married and had the support and encouragement of my husband I learned how to read. Because of my Dyslexia, I am not a great speller. The good Lord has brought me a long way. It took me till my early 30's to get up the confidence to go to college and I was so shocked when I had a 4.0 avg.
I now speak at women's groups, giving hope to others, to never-give-up. Somethings we have to take baby steps along the way.
byw, I am not a sewer, but love watching your videos and learning, my art of choice is journal making and painting
I got my first job as an apprentice pattern maker while still in school in Cleveland, Ohio. I worked two years there. I moved to a better paying job and better quality garments. I got married and moved to New Jersey, to work in New York. My first 10 jobs I was fired after a short time.(Days) Each time I picked myself up and went to another interview. I had to make a pattern to get the job., but I was using their paper and fabric and seamstresses to sew my garments so I learned "Factory methods" by failing. I opened my own shop and sewed wedding dresses and sold Vintage clothing for three years. I could pay the rent but that's about all. It was fun, and I learned a lot. When I went back to NY I landed a job with Calvin Klein doing the Collection ! I had learned draping and sewing, so I could fake my way into any interview and get the job! I did well there and so it just goes to show failing is educational! Love you videos!
Wow! Yes, I have started sewing again in the lockdown. I sewed as a teenager, my Mum was a gifted sewer but our teacher/student relationship was fraught with our other issues and different learning styles. So after making some masks, with my new birthday sewing machine, I decided to make a dress. I bought a simple pattern from Amazon and forged ahead. Every thing that is right and wrong about the finished dress was a wonderful learning experience. From not having a flow-y enough fabric, to attempting a “not in the pattern” scalloped hem. From ignoring interfacing to constantly trying it on and adjusting the left shoulder seam until it fit perfectly. In my career life I work with babies....so hurray! clever girl! I did it!
My Concept Art teacher said to me once: Yes! You’re a beginner and you’re slow and that’s why you have me here helping you and teaching you, but if this class was about creativity or absorbing culture for illustrations, I would be the one paying you to teach me.
I stitched my first ever successful buttonhole in a garment yesterday. Did I show all my friends? Yes. Did I care that none of them really cared? No. Am I super proud of that little buttonhole? Yes!
I think everything you said it’s very important! Everybody has to start somewhere! When I started sewing I couldn’t even thread the machine! And now I sell my creations
Online! We gotta be kinder with ourselves... life is a constant learning! Happy sewing everybody! :-)
A few years ago I was inspired to take up miniatures. I saw all some amazing dolls houses, in which it was impossible to tell, from the images, whether it was a full size scene or a miniature. I wanted that. Initially, I worked exclusively with store bought furniture, decor etc. Every time I looked at the rooms I decorated and filled I was disappointed. As far as I could see, I never got past the "dolls house" look. I kept plugging away at it, however, because I loved all the times when I could make things myself. I never reached the point where I could make my own wooden furniture, but I did make lots of items that dressed the rooms. Even so, it never looked "good enough" to me, until I spent time and took some decent photo's of my work. I nervously took them in to show to folk at work. Their response made my jaw drop. One person made my day. He said, "Oh, I thought I was looking at real rooms." I had "arrived" and yet been so wrapped up in my own insecurity that I had not even noticed. Some years later I gave up that hobby, (would you believe, because I didn't have room?). The lessons I took away were...if you want to be good you have to practice, but also that I am my own worst critic.
'You can do it too!' I'm going to start cheering for myself like I would for a toddler trying to walk ❤️
@9:36 Cathy being an encouraging mum is MOOD and I'm here for it. DO THE THING! And keep on learning while doing the thing.
I want to be a beginner all my life in the sense that I want to have the humility to know that there will always be someone who knows more than me, and that I can learn something from anyone. And if others see me as that person, I want them to feel encourage. :-) ♥♥♥
I am a balloon artist and I had a gig today were I meet a lady that wants to learn to twist balloons and it felt very good to be able to give her tips and advice. It was cool to see her genuine excitement for it and I kind of miss the excitement of a “new world” opening up to me with balloon art.
That is what sewing is for me now, yes it is daunting, it’s scary but it is indeed exciting! It is like stepping into a new world as I learn more and more I become more familiar and confident with it.
I teach wireworking and I always encourage my students to keep the first piece they make and to put it in a place of honour. That piece is a benchmark for their creative journey, and is a reminder of the excitement they have felt in this new craft. It's a touchstone for the days when being creative hits a speed bump. ❤ I still have the very first piece I made, now 25 years later, and it's always inspiring to see how far I've come.
I feel like I was a really good beginner at crochet because I kind of became obsessed with beautiful yarn over night. I picked up the basics pretty fast and I didn't mind pulling out my work because I was just so happy to have lovely yarn in my hands and the idea of being able to make soft fluffy beautiful works of art. It was low stakes because anything I messed up with could be undone very easily or corrected later in the work with ease. I am now so obsessed with yarn 5 years later I have started spinning and I am going to start a degree in knitwear in September. The funny thing is, despite being now quite proficient, I still prefer he really beginner patterns because I prefer to have simple repeating stitches, because I can work from muscle memory and do something else like listen to the radio, which I can't do with a really complicated pattern.
I soooo get that. I also love doing really simple beginners level patterns. It’s amazing to when I can just get into a rhythm of crocheting and get out of my own head a little. The one crochet project that I was most proud of was a laundry basket that I made for my little sister’s new baby. Absolutely nothing but straight single crochet. One. Stitch. At. A. Time. And I made a laundry basket large enough to hold a bushel of laundry. In two weeks time. I really should have paced myself more and taken more time to make it, as I also had horrible hand pain for three weeks after, but we all learn at our own pace, eh?
I think the best beginner moment for me is when you finish a project and you get to wear what you made out in the world. There is such pride and joy that comes from being able to say to someone, "I made this!" Even if it's something really simple or not "perfect"
I recently unlocked the Gardening Level, and every new bud or leaf is a tiny yayyy you did it!! I practice on dying plants in the discount section of my local big box garden store, and just try to get them to survive and thrive. I don't know what I'm supposed to do A LOT.
I will never forget that lovely coffee we had in Costa, all those years ago. You were telling me about how you wanted to move on from sewing commissions, when YWU was an idea. I am so proud if how far you have come since then.
I know nothing about sewing or have anything more than a vague interest on it, but as an aspiring writer these tips are still really precious and inspiring. Thank you ♥️
My first figure drawing class in college was my best beginner experience. I was in school for sculpture and ceramics, and was by no means an ammeter at drawing, but this was the first time I'd taken a class to learn to draw people. I had an excellent professor who told us during almost every demonstration he gave that we just weren't going to pick it up right away and we shouldn't expect to. He also told us that if we did it right we'd learn more from each other than we would from him, and he encouraged us to get up from our easels and spend a few minutes watching each other draw. We critiqued each other too, told each other what we liked about others drawings and what we thought didn't work or needed improvement. It was tough at first. We had to learn how to take criticism and how to ignore it if we didn't agree, we had to learn how to give good criticism, we had to learn how to see our models without embarrassing them or feeling embarrassed ourselves, we had to learn to draw with nu-pastel which I don't think anyone of us had ever used before, and we had to learn to see how we drew and how our peers drew (this is the hardest one really, honest self awareness is tough). About a month or so into the class, we all started to get the hang of things. We started being able to give really good criticism, and we started to be able to take criticism really well in a way that made us all better artists. And we started to be able to see that we were all getting something different from the professor when he would demonstrate at the beginning of class, and then we started to learn those things from each other at least as much as we learned from the professor. We all became good friends and respected and valued each other and worked together to make everyone in the class as good as they could be in a semester. We all grew tremendously in drawing skill during that class. To this day it is the fastest and best I have ever learned a skill.
I learned a couple of really important things during that class:
1: Saying you don't like something a person has made isn't helpful to a maker, and neither is saying "I love it". Be specific with your praise and with your criticism. "That line forms a tangent with this other line, and it's distracting to the picture as a whole" is helpful. "I really admire your color pallet, it reminds of this other thing that I love and think is designed really well." is also helpful. If you're going to give feedback, make sure you know WHY you feel the way you do before you offer your critique. This is ESPECIALLY true when you're critiquing yourself.
2: When you identify something in your own work that bothers you, take the time to figure out why it's wrong and how to fix it. And when you see something you love in yours or someone else's work, figure out why it works and repeat or emulate it in your own work.
3: "you're better than me" and "I'm better than you" are the death of learning, the death of improvement, and the death of creativity. The only person you should EVER compare yourself to is you from last month. As long as you're better than you were, than you have no reason to be down on yourself. And I really mean you from last month. Off days are a thing, so are difficult weeks, so don't compare yourself to you from yesterday, go a little farther back. It's not cheating to set yourself up for success here.
And 4: If you don't understand something, ASK! it's not going to get better if you don't stand up and say "I didn't understand what you just said, could you please walk me though that again," to your teacher. If you're suffering or struggling in silence, it's not making you stronger, it's not making you better at learning, it's distracting you from picking up your new skill as fast and as well as you could be.
I think it's important to celebrate your victories too, like Kathy said. I'm awful at that part, and I frequently have to abandon my projects because I just can't stand the thought of continuing the slog that whatever latest project has become. I think that's what I'm going to work on this week. Starting right now, by going and looking at the last thing I made, and really enjoying everything I managed to get right. There's a lot of stuff I got right, and I haven't allowed myself to see it and be happy about it yet.
“You’re allowed to be back at when you start,” 💯. You’re even allowed to be bad and make mistakes when your experienced 😂. We are life long learners on this journey. 💛
When Cathy Hay posts another video to add to the arsenal of "anyone but Mom" ♡
The added bonus is when your child admires Cathy Hay.
Izzy said hi on the call last night! I remember!!
Cathy,
I was listening to the call driving her home from from camp. I let her watch the call so she could understand what was going on. She was enamored you replied.
As a former "Gifted and Talented Kid," I find being a beginner to be rather difficult. I picked up so many things so easily as a kid that when I ran into something I didn't get right away I figured I was bad at it and quit trying (this is a common experience for kids who were considered G&T, I'm told). My best friend of over 20 years is a professional theatrical costumer at a big university, and she's taught me most of what I know about sewing. I will never approach her level of expertise, but I'm finally reaching a point where I'm mostly satisfied with what I can produce. It helped, in our early years of friendship, that she kept pictures of her earliest sewing projects to prove to people that everyone starts out badly! In our shared historical recreation hobby, my true passion was dance - something I never tried before getting involved in this group. I was bad at first, but so were most of the people I was dancing with (we were all college students). I kept with the dance community and while I never reached the pinnacle of skill, I did reach a point where I could comfortable pick up a new dance relatively quickly. After nearly 20 years of memorizing the choreography of 15th and 16th Century European dances, I let a different friend talk me into taking a beginning class in American Tribal Style Belly Dance. I'd been interested in learning this for a while, I just needed an extra nudge to get started. The first class was excruciating. Everything I did was wrong - my posture was bad, my muscle control was non-existent, my stamina was gone, it was a total failure. After talking over the humiliation I felt with my friend in the class, we realized several things: this was a completely different style of dance than what we were used to, and it used completely different muscle groups to achieve completely different body movements. Then we realized that while we were veterans of the European Renaissance dance styles, we'd only been learning ATS for two hours. We gave ourselves and each other permission to be absolute beginners once again, and decided not to quit after just one class. I stuck with it for several years because I really enjoyed it. I never became particularly good at it, but I did achieve a level of skill that I was mostly satisfied with.
I started sewing in 1968, my mother taught me--my first dress was a simple empire waist dress in embroidered Swiss batiste. My Mother was OCD about sewing, I ripped each seam out at least 3 times. They had to be a perfect 5/8". It served me well, but made me crazy! In the last year, I have been teaching myself to drape and to alter patterns to suit myself. I had taken classes 15 years ago to make to fit myself because I wanted an evening gown made from a vintage Kimono. I took apart the Kimono, ironed it and made the gown with fabric that was 14" wide. I decided if I could do that, I could drape. I have made a few things that were really sad in my own opinion, but I have kept it up and finally made a complete 1780 gown and it is beautiful. I felt great after all the hard work!
This makes me think of the two walls in front of my house. My dad had a big idea, that he was going to make rock walls of limestone on either side of the driveway, and over the course of two summers (with a year between) we finished the first and then much of the second (in progress still). Finishing that first wall on the left side, he was so so proud, he was so pleased at what we had made. Fast forward to working on the second, he had talked to my neighbor (who works in construction) for tips, and looked into different tools, and we had repaved our driveway between walls and learned about working and smoothing concrete and leveling it - and going into that second wall, with all this new knowledge, the first wall looks so messy! In hindsight, just stacking stones might get a sturdy wall but it sure didn't look pretty! The first wall has mortar squished out between stones, while on the right side I smoothed out every line of mortar one by one, and dad chipped away at stones to make the shapes fit together in a more pleasing way instead of keeping the shape the stones came from the quarry. It's a much better wall, objectively, but whenever my dad talks about the project, the /way/ he talks about it is very reminiscent of this! He talks about it and says "I sure didn't know what I was doing, I was so proud of myself laying those stones." He talks about how accomplished he felt doing it and finishing it, instead of the way he could talk about it (the bad habit I have about my own projects) that devalues it in hindsight, that says "wow that looks like crap, how amateur". He instead says how proud he was working on it, and how proud he is of how far he has come on the other side. Sure, they don't match, but if he wanted a perfect wall he could have hired someone to do it. DIY projects around the house are something he really enjoys, and enjoying the process as an amateur is really important to keep going. Anyways, thanks for sharing this video - you always have such wise words to share.
Oh, I think I had my amazing beginner moment in my first year at university. It made me realize I was free to try new stuff - skies wouldn't burn, world wouldn't end, I wouldn't be expelled if I messed things up a little in the process :3
I'm doing a degree in computer science, and one of our maths exams was in conference format. I really wanted to do my presentation about Lewis Carroll's "Symbolic Logic", but uh-oh, self doubt. So next term I found the courage to ask our professor if I could do this, and he agreed!
Also, he always says "there is no such thing as a stupid question" - if you're a beginner, there is no need to be ashamed if you don't understand something )
I have NO experience in woodworking, but I just finished & placed the top of my custom sewing table. I made LOTS of mistakes & it is far from perfect. I’m thrilled it’s done, I learned a lot, now I can carry on to being a beginner at something else.
Teaching science in a lab, I tell my students that I'd rather they ask the question they think is stupid, than them make a stupid dangerous mistake because they didn't. It is very satisfying to see a student get it. In knitting my mom was great at teaching it, She gave me random yarn, and comfy needles. showed me how to cast on, and told me to cast on 100 stitches, then showed the knit and purl and I was to knit 100 rows. The first ones were real ugly but I did about 200-300 rows. It didn't have to be "something" it was a rectangle, that's it. I succeeded at making a rectangle. We still have that rectangle, messy stitches and all. It's protecting something from dust now. I've been knitting for 16 years now, I can do much better and make complicated things. I'm still happy with my first rectangle.
A baby that pulls him- or herself up for the first time wears a look of triumph and sheer joy. When those first wobbly steps are taken, Baby's joy and wonderment are contagious. Babies do not let their _fear_ of trying something new overwhelm them; they go for it. When they learn one thing, the build on it (hence child-proof locks and top shelves). When it comes to adults trying new things, the best advice comes from Mary Poppins:
Start at the very beginning
A very good place to start
(The song, Do Re Mi, is all about learning new things by starting at the very beginning, and building.)
I've always been terrible at learning languages, but wanted to use lockdown as an opportunity to re-learn and improve upon some basic Italian I used to know. So I finally installed the Duolingo app on my phone and have been doing a little bit of practice every single day, and am currently up to a 68-day streak of learning! It's so satisfying to feel my brain remembering what I used to know, and beginning to understand more vocab. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND HOW ITALIAN VERBS WORK!! Hurray :D
More than you're terrible at learning languages, most likely you haven't dedicated enough time to learn them. Languages take a lot of time and effort to learn them. Look at children, in spite of what we're told, they don't learn to speak effortlessly. It take them years. A five years old can speak reasonably well but they have a limited vocabulary and grammar knowledge, and they still need to learn how to write properly. And that after five years of constant practice being in constant contact with the language. But we have been made believe that dedicating a couple of hours every week in six month we should be able hold our ground in an international conference meeting. No wonder people feel like a failure when it comes to learn a language.
Huzzah!!!! I took a Spanish major in college, but then I let my brain rust for nearly ten years. Embarrassingly enough, I couldn’t carry on a conversation anymore. I also started using Duolingo, and I’ve gotten really good results from it. It’s such a good feeling to knock the rust out of the corners of my brain.
I'm a professional beginner who has a long history of trying new things and abandoning them when I'm not immediately good at it. When I decided to pursue sewing it was the first time I was excited to be a beginner. I was just as invested in the process as I was the end result. I wanted to take my time learning and make crappy things! I think this shift was the result of the nature of sewing and the wonderful CosTube community.
Firstly, all you have to know is a basic running stitch and you can complete something! So many of the hobbies or skills I've tried require lots of practice before you have something to show for it. With sewing you can mend a little ripped seam, make a nice little pillow, or even a sampler. I tend to be an instant gratification monster and looking at it this way helped me a lot. I can know next to nothing but still create SOMETHING!
I came into the CosTube community looking at all you wonderful, kind, experienced makers and instead of seeing people who were miles better than me and being intimidated, I saw people who knew what they were doing and still made silly mistakes sometimes. People with years and years of experience who still got stymied by projects. You normalized messing up and making something that maybe you're not so proud of or that you have a long period of frustration about. A shift in perspective makes all the difference!
Great advice Cathy. I posted my very first TH-cam video this week. I had been wanting to start a youtube channel for years but found myself getting very discouraged watching other youtube videos feeling like I would never be that good so just didn't do it. After watching a tonne of videos during CoCoVid I finally got up the courage to do the thing and I hit publish on a video I just made. I did send the link to a dear friend to tell me her honest opinion and she said it was pretty good for my first, her 16 yr however told me everything that was wrong with it and things I needed to change to make it better. For the first time in my life I was able to take that and not get extremely upset and hurt by criticism. It was my first video and won't be as good as people that have thousands of subs and many videos under their belt. I'm still learning and it will come with practice. Pushing publish on that first video was terrifying and I know it is far from perfect but it has sparked a lot of video ideas swirling and I am excited to see where that brings me. Getting better definitely comes with practice and time.
I think one of the reasons I like trying a lot of new things is because I give myself permission to be bad at a new thing. I don’t expect it to turn out at all, so if it’s a functional item, I’m already doing better than I anticipate. My first yarn I made was truly dreadful. You actually couldn’t knit or crochet with it because it would fall apart. I’ve kept my first two skeins because I just like to look at them and every new skein I make looks better and better in comparison. About 3-4 years after I started, one of my mentors told me, “you’re spinning frog hair now, you’ve improved so much!” It meant so much to me, as I’d invested myself heart and soul into learning spinning, watching DVD’s, going to fiber festivals, reading books, etc. I still have so much to learn, as I struggle with intentional spinning, getting the exact size I want, but it’s a fun journey. And as long as it’s a fun journey, that’s the important part. While I can apply this to my crafts, like cheesemaking and sewing and crocheting, I have a hard time applying it to learning Bangla and exercising, so I still needed to hear this video. And I’m very proud of you on your Yoga videos! Go you!
I love your gentle wisdom, so relevant, so kind and so understanding. Thank you. I needed this. So glad it popped up on my feed and I decided to watch it again. I needed to hear it today 😊
I took Pole Dancing lessons last year... and lets just say I was really good at failing 😎😎
And now with a little bit more honesty: i took Those classes and stopped - but not because I failed at it, but because it wasn't really my thing and i'm weirdly proud of that.
I learned a lot about failing and being okay with that in those classes. 😊
I love that feeling of being a beginner - not knowing how much you don't know and just giving it a go. It's also great when you need to teach others something, to be regularly reminded about what it's like to be the learner and the beginning of their journey.
I NEEDED this video! My guy and I are trying to work on my skill and ability to encourage myself, "be your own cheerleader." I was diagnosed with ADHD the month I turned 30. I'm 32 and still learning about this neurological disorder. One of the things I recently learned is that it seems ADHD brains (unknown if this applies to all ADHD diagnoses, or just a percentage) do not have enough norepinephrine and dopamine receptors. These are the reward hormones, so not having enough receptors for me oftentimes means I need to consciously and purposefully dwell on what I accomplished, maybe even journal it, because the "reward sensation" in my brain is so short and fleeting that I cannot remember how it feels to accomplish a task or goal. Sometimes I've even forgotten altogether that I accomplished a difficult task or goal because I may even feel neutral about having done it. Consciously I know I should feel good about having done it, and yet...
While it can seem like a drawback to know I have ADHD, having an explanation for why I struggle in so many different areas actually helps empower me to know they're connected and there are potential solutions. It is also massively empowering to know the answer is not merely that I am lazy, unmotivated, etc., etc. My boyfriend and I share a 3 bedroom house. We each have our own room, then the master is our bedroom. He has experience as a psych nurse, and has wonderful organizational skills. I want to be organized, but don't know how besides just throwing everything away. My amazing guy has been helping me organize my room. Whenever I exhibit signs of getting overwhelmed, or if I've been working for a long stretch, he pauses to hug and kiss me, reassure me and calm me so that I wouldn't give up or lose progress. If I couldn't keep my focus on which task to prioritize, he would direct my focus for me. Thanks be to God, because of him, my room is almost organized enough I can actually start making my first sewing projects in the coming months! I can't wait!
Having the right teacher can help with being a good beginner! The lady I bought my sewing machine from let me learn how to use it as I paid for it. She was my cheerleader!!! She would be all excited about the fact that I was making a quilt. It's a simple 9" squares put together quilt. Nothing fancy but she made me feel like I was making a ball gown!
When I retired I knew that my current hobbies were sedentary so I took up walking and walking more than a few miles was difficult, a year later we had new people in our group and they were looking up to me as a good walker. and I realised how comfortable I was walking 10 miles plus, I also took up bowling still quite bad at that but it is enjoyable.
I was also about to make a walking analogy - when I set out to walk a marathon, I cannot think at the start "have to go this whole distance," I have to think first about the first 100 steps (did I actually manage to put my shoes on correctly? still an issue to check), and then the first mile, and hour, and so on... The further ahead I look, unless it is for the sake of pacing, the more futile it seems. Walking has helped me so much to come to so many of the same conclusions for life that Cathy was talking about. It's fun to celebrate the small victories, to have a goal, but to be mindful of the present task at hand. As a teacher, it's something I have to remind myself in a similar manner - both in regards to myself, to teachers with more or less experience, and to students. Those a-ha moments are grand. Admittedly, sometimes it's the kids who never seem to have them and are in the bottom half of the class, yet still, consistently, plugging away that I privately cheer for the most.
What has helped me a lot is the mindset "For every time I'm wrong I learn something new". Asking questions and trying out new stuff isn't so scary when you see it as a learning experience!
i am a beginner. two days ago i took the plunge and created my first item of clothing, a set of pajama pants with pockets, without a pattern, completely hand sewn. today they are finished. they are totally crappy :D and i love the seams on the sides, they look amazing. The pockets are a whole other story. These are the worst pockets anyone ever made and I am super proud of them. they are two inches lower than they should be, and i can see the joint seam where they were inserted. and I don't care because they are there and they function. I didn't know to make the back larger than the front to allow for you know, my back side, so i had to invent something to raise the back, so I made a two inch addition to the waist, inserted the draw string, and it looks like it was always supposed to be like that. It only took 13 hours for me to hand sew that additional part on the waist. Thank you Netflix for keeping me sane for that.
I had made one shirt, in my home economics class 30 years ago in school. I am a master quilter, i can hand sew fairly well, if on a straight line or a curved line but on something that will always be flat like a quilt. I am discovering that clothing is a whole different universe, and i have a goal to make a corset in the next year, but for now, These Pants are
my first step.
In the US Marine Corps, they say to be a great leader you have to have been a good follower. I think that is basically what you are saying here: be a good beginner so that you can give yourself the time and space to apprentice into a role, ultimately, of mastery.
As a perfectionist, I’ve always been a terrible beginner. I never wanted to try things outside of my comfort zone because I didn’t want to be bad at something. But having worked as a middle and high school teacher for seven years, I have come to appreciate the struggle and determination that comes with learning something new. I took up sewing in May after finding a beautiful vintage sewing machine on sale for only $30. I had been watching costuming and sewing videos on TH-cam for months and I think these videos have helped me start my journey in the right place. Watching someone more experienced share the entire process of making a garnet from start to finish, with all the frustrations and set backs that entails, reminded me that I shouldn’t expect things to be perfect the first time. I’ve had to rip out and resew countless seams, been confused by patterns, made mistakes cutting things out, sewn things on backwards...you name it. But I knew that these things were all part of the journey. It’s been a great opportunity for me to foster my own “growth mindset” and I really value what I’ve learned over past month. I also love the linen shorts I made, even though I hemmed them inside out!
Cathy! I didn’t think I could love you anymore and then I learned you’re also a ballroom dancer! I’ve been doing it for a few years now and I’m still such a beginner. It’s always fun to go to the big competitions and see the stunning Championship-level couples glide effortlessly across the floor. It makes me feel better because I can look at them and think, “Eventually. We’ll get there someday.” In another world I’m a beginner at sewing. Literally just started my first project (a pair of pajama pants) a few weeks ago. I’ve been turning and felling seams and when I did my first felling stitch I thought, “Looks pretty good! Not too shabby for a first pass at this.” Now I assure you my felling is not beautiful. It definitely has problems. But you know what? I think it’s pretty darn good for someone who has never felled before.
I started crocheting when I was 5. I don't really remember being a beginner at that. But I loved the look of knit sweaters. One day I decided I was going to teach myself to knit. I took my two year old down to the craft store and purchased a beginner knitting book with a sweater pattern I could make "for my husband", a pair of knitting needles in the correct size and several cheap giant balls of yarn. Making it for my husband was a nice excuse to keep me motivated, especially because he was away for work at the time, but I knew even then that it was just an excuse and he would likely never wear it. I made a matching sweater for my son. They both turned out terrible. My husband wore his twice, just for me. And they both wore them for a picture. But by the time I finished those sweaters, I was a competent enough knitter to enjoy doing it. I recently (thirteen years later) decided that sweater yarn was the perfect accent color for a set of amigurumi animals I'm making from my yarn stash, so supplies invested in as a beginner don't have to stay in beginner quality projects.
I started sewing again last year, after a long hiatus. I was rubbish. Couldn't remember things, cracked it and chucked it in. Started again...again this year. Calmly, more relaxed and determined to have fun and I am. I ask questions, watch tutorials (just discovered you tube!) and just plod along.
Becoming a parent is the biggest learning curve and to be honest you are always a beginner because your child constantly changes. However, you do learn to laugh at yourself and how to deal with embarrassment. Your analogy of a baby learning to walk is spot on. We have to be kind to ourselves. Try to find other beginners near you and encourage each other. X
I love your chit-chat chin-wags! The way I handle being a beginner is what you said about dancing and just having fun. Before we go to school, we learn through playing. Then we go to school and we have to be serious and playing is only for recess (if we are lucky to have one). We're conditioned to think we have to get it right first thing and if we don't we'll get a bad grade and be judged, and quite possibly embarrassed in front of our peers. Whether from teachers or parents, all this fear leads to the paralysis of perfectionism. There are a whole host of reasons for being intimidated and overwhelmed, but when you can make it a game or keep your humour about it, you're much more likely to practice more--which is the key to getting better at it!
Not comparing yourself to others is important, and also not having unrealistic expectations of what you should accomplish by a certain time is critical, as well. I'll never be a Bernadette Banner with teeny back stitches and meticulous goose-quilled boning to make a corset. I'm never going to want to reconstruct the Peacock Dress, either. Thank goodness you're doing that! I'm happy to be along for the journey of others and perhaps down the road I'll aspire to do more. But for now, I don't put that pressure on myself. I'm olde enough to feel like _If it's not fun, I'm not doing it!_
After my first lessons in horsemanship I came home - full of enthusiasm - and tried to replicate what I 'd learned with my own horse. She reared up (stood on her hindlegs) for 3 months everytime I tried to tell her to come to a stop. To this day my sister likes to quote me for saying "today was a great day, she didn't even rear up'. That was more than 10 years ago and I Iaugh everytime someone tells me my horse is so well behaved "she must have been born that way". Nope, it took years of trial an error, lots of lessons, and lots of self-awareness to first change myself and then my horse....
I’m the ‘afraid to fail’ type, and I put so much pressure on myself to be perfect from step 1 that I wind up immobilizing myself. (You can’t fail if you don’t try, right?) This is what I did that I think was a mature way of dealing with failure-and it’s the 1st time I’ve been able to do it this sincerely in my life:
Just 2 weeks ago I started my 1st ever sewing project. A pair of flannel pajamas bottoms. I had to borrow a sewing machine and be taught how it worked, how to thread it, what _kind_ of thread to use, how to thread and work the bobbin. I knew _nothing_ !
I bought all the accoutrements, scissors, pins, rulers, etc. without going over-board incase I sucked or hated the process. I watched videos. Got inspired.
I took apart some old scrubs and used them as pattern pieces. I asked my mom, who used to make clothes for us as kids...40 years ago, to help
and guide.
Turns out flannel is one of the hardest fabrics to work with as it stretches, deforms, and shreds. 🤷🏼♀️. Didn’t know that, but I dealt with it.
Turns out 3 yards of fabric wasn’t enough because I didn’t consider the width of the fabric, and it was way to narrow, so I had to go back and buy 3 more yards. 🤷🏼♀️ But this gave me the opportunity to use scraps to test out the various stitches my machine made and the pull on them and see, physically, how they work. I also used the scraps to practice different seaming techniques and found out what would work for this fabric and these pajamas. The rest is being made into an easy, square, stuffed cat bed-so Mr. Belvedere benefitted, as well.
Then I started drawing out the pattern on the clothe. It was _immediately_ apparent that I had no idea what I was doing. My mother and I worked on the math for about an hour and a half, then kept realizing we were adding wrong. She also clued me in that I didn’t need to worry about a bunch of measurements as pajama bottoms are _not_ a fitted garment! 🤷🏼♀️😂 We started laughing, got two panels done and ate a wonderful dinner. 4 hours of work...2 leg panels.
A week later I got back to it. I realized I couldn’t remember what my notes on the measurements meant. 🤦🏼♀️ I almost had to redo everything. That felt defeating, but I walked away for a few minutes and pretty soon my Mom and I were laughing about it. I took pictures and posted on fb. My friends laughed with me. I then went back to it and cut out the last two leg panels.
It was when I went to pin them together that I realized they were entirely different shapes. 😧. I could pin them. The seams would touch in about 60% of the leg. I just sat there. My Mom came over and insisted it would work. She said we could sew extra material in the wonky leg and just have a crazy seam. After all-_they’re just pajama bottoms!!_ It took a while, because I was really beginning to beat myself up, and was thinking I was going to have to by 3 _more_ yards of fabric, (what a waste!), when it occurred to me that, in fact, these really were just a pair of pajama bottoms and it didn’t matter _how_ wonky they were, because I’m just sleeping in them!!
Finally, I started laughing and joking about them. I even decided I’m going to intentionally screw up the good leg and put a funky seam in that side, too! In doing so, I’m learning about piecing, _and_ , more importantly, _I have a funny story to tell_ ! Cuz when my friends see pictures of this train wreck on my fb wall, they’re going to laugh their butts off. The comments will be amazing. I’m looking forward to the humor. 🤗
I’m 51 years old. A perfectionist. A control-freak. I have never had so many struggles in one process in my life and yet, finally, as I struggled to learn the basics, and screwed up one thing after another, I was able to _laugh_ ! Finally!!
Excuse my language, here, but it was like a f-ing breath of fresh air, and I haven’t had one in so long I can’t even remember the last time I took one!
From one ‘afraid to fail’ person to all the others: For the love of God, learn to laugh off your mistakes and turn them into fun learning experiences!! No one else sees you as a failure. Only you do, and it’s bullsh*t. Failure is the best way to learn! ❤️❤️❤️
I have been drawing for a little under two years now and I still feel like a beginner. My proportions are not always right, and I usually have those days where I just have to cover up a drawing and start over because i just wasn’t satisfied with it. But I have hanged all my first drawings for the last twelve sketchbooks on my wall just besides my desk and they serve as a reminder that “hey, I am doing progress and in a few years time, I will have be even better than I am now”. I am not ashamed of them because they are a a part of the journey and without them I would not be where I am today (even if that isn’t a lot). I am just starting out on my sewing, riding and piano adventures and this video is so helpful. The riding coach I have been riding with so far has really helped me and I am more than happy to receive feedback from her even if that is quite frequent. Thank you, Cathy, for making this video!
5:35 "You get to the place where you are feeling what they feel and imagining how it feels to get that level of skill" -
THIS! Yes, this is exactly what happened to me after watching at least 15 of Bernadette's videos (I started there then I got here to you Cathy). I started to actually enjoy hand stitching, and before that I never enjoyed it. But just watching Bernadette being so passionate about it, excited, doing it so patiently, meticulously and gracefully, this just made me absorb that feeling.
When I first learned to crochet in college, from my grandmother, I only knew one stitch. It wasn't great, and my scarves were very wavy, but it was a scarf and it was crocheting. And a friend of mine in college got excited by this and wanted me to teach her. She took that one stitch I managed to teach her (backwards, because I was left-handed) and went on for years, making amigurumi animals and things that I never learned. Sometimes your one little beginner thing that you're not even good at will excite someone else to try.
I'm a slow beginner. In the sense that I need to read and think way more ahead than I technically need to get started. Yet, somehow mentally I do need that. Couple of years ago I learned to accept that that is how I roll. I need the theoretical bits of extra to give me the courage to problem solve creatively once I get started.
That said, there still is the beginning. Years ago I learned spinning. Cleaning the wool, carding it, spinning it. And in one of the things I read or saw the advise to cherish the first yards of home spun yarn as the most precious thing. It would look like pregnant earthworms. But never ever would you be able to recreate the structure of what you can make in the beginning, even when trying really hard to get that effect in bulky art yarn. Best advise ever!
And it's true. The first time a kid draws a human, potato head, legs and arms is so precious. And it can't be recreated. Not in that joyful exploring way.
So, yes, very slow starter here. It can take me months and months of mental preparation. But when I start, I revel, also in the mistakes.
I think a big reason I've made a switch in interest from drawing to sewing is the fact that it is so easy to compare your work to other people's but when I'm sewing and making things that are unique I don't have an example of something that is "better". With drawing I used to get frustrated cause I had ideas but they weren't translating to paper the way I wanted, I felt like I was constantly trying to imitate other artists and existing concepts. It makes me kinda sad to think if I had decided to stick with drawing and pursue a career in art I could have been really good but I quit because I felt discouraged when I looked at other people's work. Which is a shame because I wasn't bad at drawing, in fact I really like my art now but I just never knew how to view my work without seeing everything flaw and thing that I didn't like about it. So if you're feeling discouraged just remember that you won't automatically be good at everything. And its not a talent to be good at something but it is a skill that you learn. (This is very long and I'm kinda just writing this to encourage myself to not get too discouraged about my current sewing project because its not working out how I wanted it to, but if it helps anyone else then that's cool)
Your personality really comes out when you are praising others, even just as an example. I can really see the kindness in your heart.
I’ve been sewing for 50 years and I still learn something new every crazy new project I attempt. One thing I will tell you is a very good sewing machine is a must. Fabric pulls through the sewing foot area much better on a good machine. I can’t hand sew as beautiful as Cathy Hay does. Hey that’s ok.😁
I learned the basics of knitting when I was 5 years old, but I never progressed past knitting a square. At age 22, I inherited a bunch of knitting needles and decided to really learn, so I bought books and made a bunch of little things like scarves, mittens knit flat and seamed and such. Easy projects. Two years after I picked up that first project, I offered to make a shawl for my mom, had her choose one from a wonderful book, and said I’d make it for Christmas. It took months to find yarn in the exact color she wanted, it was October before I found it, and the shawl was a touch over 1.5 meters square. I knit like crazy trying to get it done only to discover a mistake 7 cm back at a point when each row was 3500 stitches long and took an hour for me to knit...3 days before Christmas. My “I get it!” moment came when I figured out how to correct the mistake without ripping out 400+ m of yarn. If I hadn’t had that “aha” moment, I wouldn’t have been able to bind off that last stitch on Christmas Eve, just in time to get it under the tree. It’s still my favorite project because I learned so much from it.
I bought myself a sewing machine under quarantine, with the intention to learn to sew clothes for myself. I'm taking a sewing class, and after having sewed my first pair of pants, I got so intimidated by the next project which is a skirt, with a lot of little mock-ups to learn the techniques. I got so intimidated that I've parked that class for a while. But by some happy accident, I discovered sewing bags - so I make bags and lots of them. Whenever I get to finish a bag I'm so happy and feel so accomplished. Within the last week, the desire to make clothes are slowly coming back. I'm finding dresses and skirts that look like something I could make as a beginner, and that will give me the confidence to pick up my sewing class again. It definitely feels the break from clothes making and having success with something else, was right for me. I find that my road to learning to sew clothes is not as straight forward as I originally thought it would be, but what I've picked up along the way is so much more giving and fun, that I'm no longer doubting that I will learn eventually. I just need to take detours from time to time. I find that I'm sewing stuff I never thought I would sew, nor being proud of. The best compliment was when I showed a bag I made to my husband which had been at sea for 2 months, and my son replies "Oh I thought you had bought it" My heart just melted with pride.