Narcissist's Victim: NO CONTACT Rules
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 เม.ย. 2014
- Everything You Need to Know about Narcissists, Psychopaths, and Abuse - click on this link: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq...
Refuse All Contact
Be sure to maintain as much contact with your abuser as the courts, counsellors, mediators, guardians, or law enforcement officials mandate.
Do NOT contravene the decisions of the system. Work from the inside to change judgments, evaluations, or rulings -- but NEVER rebel against them or ignore them. You will only turn the system against you and your interests.
But with the exception of the minimum mandated by the courts -- decline any and all gratuitous contact with the narcissist.
Do not respond to his pleading, romantic, nostalgic, flattering, or threatening e-mail messages.
Return all gifts he sends you.
Refuse him entry to your premises. Do not even respond to the intercom.
Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice while making clear to him, in a single, polite but firm, sentence, that you are determined not to talk to him.
Do not answer his letters.
Do not visit him on special occasions, or in emergencies.
Do not respond to questions, requests, or pleas forwarded to you through third parties.
Disconnect from third parties whom you know are spying on you at his behest.
Do not discuss him with your children.
Do not gossip about him.
Do not ask him for anything, even if you are in dire need.
When you are forced to meet him, do not discuss your personal affairs -- or his.
Relegate any inevitable contact with him -- when and where possible -- to professionals: your lawyer, or your accountant.
Insist on Your Boundaries -- Resist Abuse
· Refuse to accept abusive behavior. Demand reasonably predictable and rational actions and reactions. Insist on respect for your boundaries, predilections, preferences, and priorities.
· Demand a just and proportional treatment. Reject or ignore unjust and capricious behavior.
· If you are up to the inevitable confrontation, react in kind. Let him taste some of his own medicine.
· Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable. Do not succumb to blackmail.
· If things get rough- disengage, involve law enforcement officers, friends and colleagues, or threaten him (legally).
· Do not keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser's weapon.
· Never give him a second chance. React with your full arsenal to the first transgression.
· Be guarded. Don't be too forthcoming in a first or casual meeting. Gather intelligence.
· Be yourself. Don't misrepresent your wishes, boundaries, preferences, priorities, and red lines.
· Do not behave inconsistently. Do not go back on your word. Be firm and resolute.
· Stay away from such quagmires. Scrutinize every offer and suggestion, no matter how innocuous.
· Prepare backup plans. Keep others informed of your whereabouts and appraised of your situation.
· Be vigilant and doubting. Do not be gullible and suggestible. Better safe than sorry.
· Often the abuser's proxies are unaware of their role. Expose him. Inform them. Demonstrate to them how they are being abused, misused, and plain used by the abuser.
· Trap your abuser. Treat him as he treats you. Involve others. Bring it into the open. Nothing like sunshine to disinfest abuse.
(From the book "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" by Sam Vaknin - Click on this link to purchase the print book, or 16 e-books, or 3 DVDs with 16 hours of video lectures on narcissists, psychopaths, and abuse in relationships: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/the...)
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1 year no contact as of midnight!!!
how has that been going for as its been one year now
Nice
"Nothing like sunshine to disinfect abuse." What an excellent quote. Abuse victims need to expose their abuser instead of keeping silent.
Theagenthollyhock I DID YAYYYYY
That’s exactly what I did I told everybody
Mother & Father As I’m starting to think I’m one 🤔
Mother & Father I started thinking I was one 🤔
You must expose them don’t stay quiet
No contact set me free!!!
Grayling Selvidge
Me too 👍🏽
Ditto! It's good to be free 😉
Amen!!!
No contact is not easy.....deep inside of us we still miss them... that's why perhaps even after declaring to ourselves that we have moved on, still we watch these videos as subconscious way to connect with them somehow...with the traces of them...i hate the devil but still miss the child in him so badly...still perceive him as a helpless immutable child...and it is actually very disturbing to my progress of getting over him...
You are an Indian like me, suffering like me... I agree with your words.... Are you on Facebook?
So true. It feels like everyday I am forced to let him slip away. These videos are the last vestiges I have of him. It just makes me sad. No contact is so cruel because I care about him but I know its as useless as putting urself in a lions cage and not getting hurt
I know it's been a year, but I'm going through your comment right now. I hope things are better for you.
@@MissManaged1001 agreed.
So true sadly
NO CONTACT.. I will never answer his calls, texts, etc.. I have no children with the covert narcissist. I've been no contact for about a month and a half, and feel so much better. It took me one month to get over the addiction, and we were a long distance relationship. I wish you All the strength needed to set yourselves free. Thank you, Sam! Susan P.
I like that "stay out of La La Land."
The fog
I love that. That is 100% accurate.
Indeed, because it really is la la land.
True
No contact really is the only way to go. Thank you Sam for all the knowledge that you share.
+Una Mujakovic true: th-cam.com/video/UEFK1C36ios/w-d-xo.html
+Una Mujakovic Zero Contact all the way..! am running away from a Narcisistic Witch..!
It's not to PUNISH the abuser but to SAVE the target's life and allow healing. It breaks the spell the narcissist has over yiu.
@@whygohome172 Agree. Narc abuse is disturbing. No contact is the only solution. You feel contaminated and get sick. The victim has to avoid the Narc to allow time for healing and repair.
@@dumblizzie also, many women think they will heal from physical abuse but my friend's battering triggered Addison's disease which mean it burned out her adrenal gland so she had to take steroids the rest of her life and wear a medic alert bracelet in case she got into an accident the paramedics would know to give her a big injection of adrenalin so she could go into shock. The steroids cut her life short. Sometimes you do NOT recover from domestic violence.
Went no contact for many years. Due to circumstances had to engage, disaster, no contact a 2nd time for years. Again, contact needed. Backstabbed hard. They never ever change. No contact forever no matter what is the only way. Thanks Sam!
Never give him a second chance.- This is it.
I thought everyone was normal IRL, Years later face palming at my stupidness, people can be fkd up.
Hey, ease up on yourself! Only a TINY percent of the public knows what we here know now! You weren't stupid. You were just uninformed, like the rest of us. I never heard of a Narcissist until just this year, and I am ancient!
They are incredibly manipulative people. No remorse at all but use our loyalty and responsible ethics to lure us back. Never thought id be here. But acknowledging this is the first step. Good luck and God Bless everyone
you wasnt stupid. it was lack of life experience / information. NO ONE knows everything.
"nothing like sunshine to disinfect abuse" well said.
I no longer talk to my brother. My mother and I are still close, she is always saying things like: you can't change your family, you have a responsibility to him blah blah, but I hold firm. I feel like for the first time I'm truly living my life. Sam you are a breath of fresh air thank you for all the help.
Jim G don’t fall for her attempt to manipulate you wi h a sense of obligation to him. You may need to set a boundary with your mom on this issue.
That's old fashioned. You don't owe your brother a fuckn thing, especially when it is pain that you are being demanded to pay. Live in love, leave that spirit murderer behind.
Brilliant advice. No contact came easily for me. I'm very lucky in that respect.
I envy you. That ability was so grossly emaciated. I had to build it up. It took time and I endured a sad amount of abuse until I was strong enough to admit that my daughter was dead inside. 1 year no contact today! I feel utterly fantastic and free to grow and step out into a new world.
i shared a rental contract with one, she threatened to destroy my life's work with the simultaneous habit of victimizing herself to our entire community whilst blackmailing me, over a discard period of 7 months she rendered bankrupt, i paid asshole tax for so long to move my things discreetly one by one then relocate my whole life in the process of developing some fake grandiose false self of my own planning this just to cope with the non stop abuse, daily benial insanity and the protection of my loved ones, pets and my true home. Thanks to Vaknin's advice, consider yourself lucky for not jogging through a social minefield of non stop agonizing misery. after this nightmare i lost nothing but gaining the wisdom of getting my life back.
I found it helpful to journal all of the lies. When I read them I am affirmed in my decision to stay away.
Powerful ⚡️📢 Why couldn't we learn this earlier before going through hell? Starts when we're so young and vulnerable anyway. How could we avoid it? Seems like being honest and kind is killing us.
Yes, I thought so too. If I just keep using my tender side, they will melt into a warm, caring person... Nope. I needed to develop my masculine side and use it, in order to survive. Leave, protect, say no. Drop guilt. You're worth it. They've become a zombie. Get away, they are toast inside.
I'm 23, n pretty much all my life I've succumbed to this form of abuse both physically and emotionally Thanks for reminding me that I'm on the right path.
"No Contact" means NO CONTACT... What is not to understand?
you are a special man. thank you for devoting your attentions to this scourge.
True because when you try to manipulate them back it always back fires against you !
SO glad to hear I did the right thing years ago! Thank you Sam!
Moving out of town helps. Really.
I'm in the early stages of no contact. My soon-to-be ex wife is a malignant narcissist. She's absolutely terrifying, sadistic, and cruel. Of course, being the male... I'm the one who is now homeless and has lost everything. Also... we have a beautiful 3 year old boy whom I have not seen in almost 6 months. He's suffering badly from this too... and of course, he's the most important person in all this. It's truly hell on earth. I don't even have any confidence that I'll actually survive this. I have ZERO support or resources. My life has been completely destroyed by my wife, and by my own family. It's a living nightmare.
Hang in there, it gets better yes still hell but you will survive it because your son needs you to be his stable loving parent. (I speak from experience)
Learn all you can from these videos they really help when things are rough. You got this💪😎🙌
"Let him taste one of his own medicine" amazing 😍
I'll narcissize with him 😅
Wonderful advice Sam! Thank you so much. These truths can be applied to every aspect of life...for EVERYONE! Not just victims of narcissists.
I am 2 months into no contact and he is searching for me and getting friends to try and get me back to him. No chance.
Carrie, STAY STRONG! You can do it! If you weaken, go to a mirror and tell your reflection every reason you NOW KNOW to keep away from the narc.
The amount of knowledge I have gained by watching your videos is tremendous. Being able to have someone to educate one about narcissism helps with understanding, coping and moving on. Your book is very valuable to me. I am not only a victim of a narcissistic abusive relationship but I also began to understand I have narcissistic qualities as well which I have not been able to recognize before. Thank you Dr. Vaknin, you bring value to a lot of people in a genuine way.
Strongly and clearly stated. I hope the victims of narcissists will take your advice. It takes strength, time and healing, this will help them do it.
“Do not go back to La La Land”
LOL
How to deal with the flying monkeys. That's the hard part. You take your distance from the Marc but you also have to cut a large proportion of your acquaintance.
Dear Sam, you are a brave soul, thanks a lot for all your advice.
These videos are so helpful in keeping me focused.THANK YOU!
You have been more helpful than you can ever know, thank you!
Yes, like a stroke of lightning from above! Learning about narcissists has changed my life, my brooding, my self-respect, most of my "why" questions, etc.
Sam rocks! And it's the best advice ever! Thanks for your uploads they kept my sanity (just) ! No contact takes a lot of time and determination but the best route to take 😊
I have a people phobia, especially when they show any form of negative emotion, particularly anger. Even though I am nearly 50, I am speechless when someone shows negative emotion, and the only way I know how to behave around abusive bulllies is to obey them, because, frankly I am too terrified to do anything else, so I spend a lot of my life avoiding predatory people, beause I dont want to be obedient to bulllies as it makes my self respect shrink.
Does anyone experience this and know how to deal with it in a way they can respect themselves for?
Fobile Moan I feel like that a lot, any bit of anger or upsetness in people makes me really uncomfortable. I need to learn to not care what people think and realize that it's OK to put myself first
Now imagine if you live with them and there is no way out away from them, life turns into a very long never ending nightmare.
I’ve just gone no contact wi h a former abusive psychopath friend from many years ago. I haven’t heard from her in years, and now in the past few days she has bombarded me with calls and emails. I’ve told her I want no contact from her in a very calm concise manner and blocked her on email, social media, phone, etc. Thankfully she now lives far away. What a relief. I don’t need her drama and negativity in my life.
Brave of you! Keep us posted if she tries to bug you. We will share your aggravation! It has been one year since you posted here. Hope that means all is well!!
Thank you for this video Sam!
Thank you for these videos!!! :D I'm trying to move on from a former friendship with such a person. The No Contact thing is hard, and I've even caved in at times; but now I'm going to stick to my guns once and for all.
Robust and powerful advice. Fantastic.
@Sam Vaknin by the way thank you for enlightening me with your videos. they are all very helpful. keep it up and more power!
I like Sam Vaknin ! My healing has begun !!!
That is the ONLY solution. I know, that's the route I had to take. The ONLY route, that I wanted to take. In the very beginning, he tried to contact me through the phone, mail and through third parties(his mom). I figured it out, how to...avoid contact, as my life moved forward. By the time i left him, I didn't never want to see or hear from him ever again. I made it a life's mission, to keep him out of my new life...I had to threaten him with going to jail, before...It worked. i had to stick to this. I made this work.
Keep posting, Alice. What you learned in your struggle will help everyone who reads this page.
Thank you Sam for your videos; I've followed you for many years and although I only discovered you because of my boyfriend's strange behaviour, I (all too often) thought, No! I misunderstood him.
He's not like that and here I am again feeling 100% sure, I was right all along.
I've blocked him from everything and began a divorce application today.
Thankfully, there's an option for a No Fault divorce.
Clear and concise. Thank you!
I wish you would do a video about the charisma that surrounds narc/sospth.
I can not understand how they light up the sky the way they do when they are so dark. It’s like a superpower. What is that phenomenon?
Satan always appears as an angel of light....
I finally freed myself from his grasp 7 months ago. I escaped one day with 2 large dogs and no plans for the future. Only to get out. I am living with my wonderful sister. I am still trying to make my life work. Then last week I got very weak and I called him. I do not ever want to go back. Yet I miss him. What is wrong with me?
Quetzalcoatl When victims become narcissists www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq42.html
It's happening to me. I see it. I'm acting like a spoiled, little brat. I'm trying meditation and Yoga now to try to get myself in some sort of order.
My ex still contacts me almost daily. It's been a year and 4 months. I don't wish harm to him but he is like poison. He still believes I'm coming back.
I'll stop whining now!
Great advice; don't look back.
Thank you Sam.
Thank you Sam!!!
this is what my family have done to me from a child .ive gone no contact
Be STRONG!!! I see you posted this two years ago, so all must be good!
Thank you, Sam.
I'm sorry.but law enforcement and justice system don't care.
Thank you for your interesting video. Everything you suggest is very true and important. When dealing with a Narcissist, He or she will always try different tactics and strategies to contact you and pull you back to their territory, trying to get information from you, so he or she will be able later to use the information to harm you and destroy your life. So be careful!! Do not corporate. One suggestion is to say you are not feeling well today and that you are in a hurry to the doctor 😷 (you have a cold and sneeze 😪😩 all the time while escaping quickly. Efrat. 😀 Israel .🌸
Merci..Sam..and Merci encore…….
Hi Sam, I just want to say that your videos have really really helped me and changed my life. I have just been watching a few about dealing with my children and I am a little confused, in this video it says do not discuss anything with my children and in another one it says to tell my children the truth. My ex is a typical gas lighter and ambient abuser. I kept quiet for years and then began to tell the truth in defense of the lies he was telling the children about me. My children do no know who to trust, my son who is 16 is living with him full time and sadly he used to abuse me ambiently which is very hard for me to deal with as I have been left quite down with all this going on and on and on. My daughter lives with me and she is confused and my ex turns everyone against me to leave me with no support which I am now rebuilding. Your clarity of this would be greatly appreciated. I also appreciate that you have used your knowledge of being labelled a narcissist to help others :)
Nowhere in this or any other video do I say not to discuss anything with your children. I do recommend, however, not to gossip, badmouth, or smear. Tell Your Children the Truth samvak.tripod.com/abuse13.html
I didn't know much about narcissism but I had to get rid of some so called friends because of it. I know what it is now and I am better off and made the right choices.
I've made it so clear I don't want anything to do with them,and yet they continually harrass,stalk,use other people to interact with me,who I all ignore,they just can't accept it,I would never want anything to do with abusers,and that's what they are,bullies,with no lives of their own so they want to destroy mine and other people's,it's really good advice in your video,I have done all of the things you say,I'm letting the law handle it been 2 years
Greatest logical reasoning on the web
Thank you so much!
this is going to be painful battle 😞
Very good advice.
From past experience I've learned that going no contact alone does not always work. When it comes to narcissists who want something from you, they can find ways to initiate contact, to a point that you have no ways to avoid it until a legal settlement is reached (which can take too much time in some cases... even years... even until one of you ceases to exist).
In that case, the best approach I've found so far is to let the NPD affected individual "win" in something I deem minor and (s)he deems major in terms of supply, and then go no contact. Found peace from 2 people that way. One for 3 years so far and one for 7 years so far.
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
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vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
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vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
I am the family scapegoat and stayed at home till age 25 as I did not know I was being abused. I had no suppport or validation from siblings, so I thought I was the faulty one. Even now, I worry that I bring out the worst in people for some unknown reason. I self isolate a lot unless with trusted people, a small minority, to avoid trouble, as I am borderrline and us borderliners feel emotions magnified many times, so, sometimes, people are painful to be around.
thank you Sam Vaknin
All the items my narcissist abuser left here at my place I got rid of.and am staying no contact as recommended by my psychiatrist and therapist.
thank you
you are telling the truth
I met a narcissist woman who wanted to marry me. I cut her off right a way. I had a narcissist boss, it was hell.
thanks Sam 😁
Thanx.
Wow! It’s incredible how I did all of these things without seeing this video. I went stoic on my abuser. The only contact I ever had after I discarded him was a secondary devalue. Then I returned all his dollar tree gifts in a box in the mail. Then fill a police report. The flying monkeys had been deployed. I paid them no mind shock to see them being manipulated by a person they all knew was a ‘bad guy.’ I’d thought to let them know what really happened then I talked myself out of it many times. Maybe with enough time having pass by, come another I would give them a little hint into who they think this person is and let them know they’re being manipulated by the manipulator. What a waste of a human
A walking breathing demon
Thank god!
They are terrible stalkers and wont take no for an answer
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
Thanks!
I will have no further contact with my abusive, narcissistic troublemaking sister who has caused a separation between my estranged daughter and I. I do believe that, as a counselor, that both have BPD as well as NPD. I believe my mother may have had that too. It can be genetic right.
+Glen Russell -I should add that I am onto her and did not get drawn into her crap but did walk away, although she will never apologize or realize the harm she has done mainly to the relationship to her & me. It felt good to let go.
+Glen Russell a lot of women with mental disorders are in fact victims of narcissists and sadists. and, yes it is genetic, and it sex linked, to males. you may also look up the term "over methylation" and see extreme stress can cause schizoid and neurotic behavior, and possibly they (and their similarly affected offspring) be treated with simple vitamins like niacin and b6, magnesium, zinc, and lecithin, with very good results.
+ElevenHundred Sounds - I am familiar with all & treatments. and have even counselled a few. Thanks.
Do a video on Narcissists and Crime :)
My brother and i had a falling out because i discovered he is a psychopath who was manipulating me for months. i used the No Contact rule but my family keep telling me that i should try to mend my relationship with him and establish a friendship. my family don't understand what a psychopath is and think it is only a disorder belonging to people in a mental institution.
Excellent rule.
Thankyou
You are such an interesting and brilliant man to listen to--and I have watched many (most) of your videos. I agree with you here--that no contact is most likely the only and best solution. Still, (as you know), I admit that in the hoovering stage, it is often difficult to resist the "charm" of that "honeymoon" stage...and is frustrating to realize that the narcissist does not really LOVE you, but is only trying to "suck" you back in due to jealousy or lack of current narcissistic supply, etc. Thank you so much for your wisdom and insight. I am a real fan! :) Best wishes, Coral
Thank you for your kind words. Sam
You're very welcome, Sam! :)
That is a great rule...but what if the family court (as in UK) force you to do so because there is a child involved?
Narcississt is the light and most beautiful person on the outside .And inside when they rech home is like electricity gone and you are on your phone .
And what about covert borderline ? He is always seeking to be in any possible contact to feel secure somehow ?
Thank you Sam. I am in process of no contact. He tries. He tries everything including talking to my friends. He texts me about various things. I don't reply. No contact for 2 weeks so far. Thank you. Your videos help me daily. I need a book now.
Lily, it has been nine months since you posted this. Are you still doing fine? I bet you are! This website changed my life!
YES!
Send back all the presents is a good advice! My narcissistic friend manipulated my neighbor to stole it from the attic. xD (greetings from Germany)
6:13 Amen brother
I still work with mine but not everyday. No Eye contact. Should we make eye contact, I break it. I don't not speak to him and haven't actually had to yet but we did have to work one on one for about 10 min. We were actually able to do it with no words. Part of me think he's giving me the silent treatment anyway so I think thats how its working also. He is blocked on my phone but is still on my Facebook only because I didn't want him to think he was getting to me. This seems to be working and hopefully this is helpful to others who still have to see them.
you brave soul, I think that being forced to be in the presence of a narc would be too much for me, and my spirit would finally break, because its already damaged by past effects of abuse that I am struggling to conquer
What if you have a child with a Narcissist and Social Services, Drug and Alcohol advocates and the Clinical Psychologist are focused on re-establishing a relationship between him and our daughte (aged 8)r?
At the tender age of seven our daughter endured emotional abuse at his hands. When it was clear his behaviour was effecting her self esteem and confidence I took the plunge, ended the relationship and went No Contact.
Although our daughter is frightened by her father's past actions and inappropriate communication with her, understandably she still loves him. At the same time she has made it clear she does not want to telephone him or see him at a Contact Centre under supervision.
Typical of a Narcissist, her father takes no responsibility for the psychological harm he has contributed, and refutes all she divulged to professionals stating that all that she expressed were a result of being brainwashed by me. He continues this argument to this day along with seeking to expose me as a lier instead of regaining his daughter's trust in him.
He has never, and will never take ownership of his despicable behaviour and actions. For him, it was always easy to blame another person i.e. me. He is an extremely clever and plausible man, whereby manipulating people into believing he is the injured party is effortless for him.
Regrettably the 'powers of be,' the professionals, cannot appreciate that for my daughter to be happy again I need to take steps to heal from 10 years of mental abuse. I cannot do this successfully if I'm being forced to stay in, albeit indirectly, contact with this man.
They are naïve to think I could co-parent with a Narcissist. I have known him for 10 years, if it was that simple, then I wouldn't have continued to forgive him and take him back.
I'm aware from articles written about Narcissistc abuse that Parallel Parenting is a safer option. I just don't know. When I encounter him, the street, at core meetings, child protection conferences, contact centre he continues to press my buttons. It's as if a mist comes before my eyes and into my brain. I can't see or think decisively. (After all,he has worked on me for 10 years.)
I don't want to get wound up about his lies, accusations, lack of insight or forethought as to what he has done to our daughter. I've tried not to get drawn into his delusional rants and rise above it. More so now I understand he is doing his best to regain control over me, and break me in order to show the authorities I am not of sound mind.
He succeeded in the past because I was so distraught that the man I loved could be so unkind and cruel. I know his game plan but I am frightened.
Any suggestions, assistance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for listening. Apologies for going on.
Thank you prof.
I have a friend who keeps telling me that i must confront my family abuser ncluding my father.
She tells me I'm weak fearful and don't trust in God.
I'm very confused as I'm thinking of moving away from this long time friend.
Someone please help me!
sorry you do go somewhat into that...
I am sitting here with the gifts he sent me during the no-contact. Won't returning them to him only create a situation for him to react to?
I was thinking of taking everything to a thrift store.
Anyone have advice?
how do I get a N (an ex) to remove photographs of me on his blog. There isn't anything incriminating about the pictures, I just don't want to be associated with him. He likes leaving them up to seem down to earth and friendly (baiting future supply) and because it annoys me. How do I maintain No Contact and get them down?
Sam, is there any hope that I can reprogram my brain to stop getting narcs in my life/
smedley Butler The way I do it is that is soon as I see narc tendencies I run from the person and refused to have them in my life.
Mr. Vaknin, I have gone no contact with my Narcissist Mother for almost two years now after educating myself and coming to many painful realizations. I ignore her letters, gifts, phone calls and text messages. She has given up for the most part but every once and awhile she will still try and reach out to me via phone. I am committed to no contact as it has significantly changed my life for the better. I am curious will she eventually give up or will ignoring be a regular part of life for me now? Does she mistake my silence for something else and is there anything I can do to make it stop for good?
Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000 How does the narcissist treat his former Sources of Narcissistic Supply? www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq76.html#former
How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers
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vaksam.tripod.com/4.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq75.html
vaksam.tripod.com/journal68.html
vaksam.tripod.com/journal56.html
Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse3.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse19.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse20.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse12.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse13.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse5.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse6.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
Working with the System and with Professionals
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
After going no contact with one. It got easier to cut others off with little or no explanation of why ending the relationships. It's the effort some go to still be involved in our lives is weird.
can u do a video on how to maintain limited contact with a narcissistic father ?
Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the links:
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4727
I have a question. My mother has npd. Six months ago I decided to go no contact. Since then my npd mother has sent my siblings after me. I have had to delete me email, block people on facebook, and change my number four times.My siblings are not stopping. They got on a plane and randomly showed up on my doorstep. Now they are calling me at work. What do you think I should do?
+perry ana This si abuse by proxy www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse11.html
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
Please help
Why i feel so scared of losing him for ever if i go no contact for ever. Im just afraid and i hope a little hope of him recovering one day..
This is so difficult. My attorney does not understand this. I've asked her to negotiate a no-contact order but she says we need to co-parent. I told her about parallel parenting, but she didn't seem to know what it was. Help!
I'm no lawyer, but with this post sends good luck that things will go right for you.
I took your advice to divorce my ex.
However i now have just 18 daughter with her 6 months old baby, and my daughter is very much a manipulator and user.
If it was only her, i would kick her out, but there is my grand daughter...
What am i supposed to do ?
Your should treat your daughter as you would any other abuser.
How to Cope with Narcissistic and Psychopathic Abusers
vaksam.tripod.com/faq4.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily19.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily20.html
vaksam.tripod.com/npdtips.html
vaksam.tripod.com/5.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html
vaksam.tripod.com/4.html
vaksam.tripod.com/faq75.html
vaksam.tripod.com/journal68.html
vaksam.tripod.com/journal56.html
Strategies for Coping with Abusers (General)
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse3.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse19.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse20.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse12.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse13.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse5.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse6.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily13.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily5.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily6.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily8.html
Working with the System and with Professionals
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily11.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily12.html
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
For me no contact didnt work, i went no contact with my narcissistic parents once one year and once 5 months, but somehow I always went back. until in the middle of the narcissist fire I saw through. And then it dropped. Id say ghost them in your HEAD first, and everything will follow.
is it advisible if i act INDIFFERENT towards them? im not providing any form of narcissitic supply. pls help.. thanks
Read these: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq4.html and www.narcissistic-abuse.com/abuse3.html
I have anxiety do not leave home struggle to look after myself and rely on my narc dad if I need help getting places. Thankfully I do not live with him. What do I do? I need help
+Emily I agree, go no contact. Relying on a narc has you eating out of thier hands, not to mention laying your soul to waste. My narc behaving parents hated it when I let home, I confided in them alot because they bred me to be dependent on them and my world small, so they could control me, it destroyed me, I have BPD and cptsd from the years of abuse.
Thank you I really need some help or pointing to where i will find the answers in your books Sam i left my home with nothing four yrs ago and since lost my business as a therapist and moved house three times My ex is lying to and making our sixteen year old son abuse me like his puppet and act as a spy This got do bad last week that I had to stop seeing my son who chooses to live with his dad it is very hard for me to know that our son does not know who to trust and is living with a dangerous man emotionally as he is definitely a gas lighter
How to Cope with Stalkers and Paranoids
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21b.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse21a.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse15.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily14.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily16.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily17.html
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily18.html
Narcissistic and psychopathic parents and their children - click on the links:
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4727
Do you have a video on how to communicate when there is visitation of small children involved?
Yes, I do.
Sam Vaknin
What is the video link Sam. Would love to know
Craig Shell Search my channel.