Yvonne's anecdote about Toast telling her to not be mean to his friend (referring to Yvonne) was very relatable... If we wouldn't say that about our best friend, why would we say it about ourselves?
Because we are our worst critics and we see ourselves in every single light (good and bad) and tend to hyper focus on the bad details. At least, that's how I've viewed self-criticism
I'd say its because friendship is sort of like an agreement where being nice to each other/helping each other out are the terms. There's no such thing between you and yourself so you're free to harshly criticize yourself for the sake of self improvement
@@punyrice5640 I think basic friendships can be seen as transactional, which is how I interpreted your reply. Deeper friendships aren't so black and white. Fairweather friends don't usually stick around when the storms come crashing in...
@@katesomnia I agree, friends who don't help you improve as a person and encourage your bad habits aren't true friends in my opinion. I think fair criticism shows how honest that friend is and how concerned they are for you.
My issue with confidence I think stems from at some point in my life, the concepts of 'confidence' and 'arrogance' got mixed together in my mind, and I almost fear becoming confident because of it.
I agree with that. While I was growing up I was worried that if I was too 'confident' and got too comfortable with myself that I'd turn into some kind of narcissistic asshole. Figured it was safer just to steer clear of it
Agreed . It’s hard to find the balance between confidence and staying humble . Sometimes when I look at myself I’m like Damn I look good and then the words stay humble pop into my head and it’s like my brain is fighting with itself
Yeah, confidence "from within" is not a thing, and I wish he's stop repeating this. People conflate self-esteem and confidence A LOT (even harvard psychiatrists, apparently).
@@Dimitris_Half So, you should be confident in flying a helicopter just because you have high self-esteem? You absolutely CAN be confident in a given field without 'believing in yourself' if you have a very high degree of success and competence. I mean you don't have to take my word for it, there's plenty of research out there: self-esteem is basically reverse trait Neuroticism.
I’m always just a lurker and never a commenter but I wanted to say that I REALLY related to how Yvonne’s feeling with always feeling like I could be better, disliking my appearance, and having trouble accepting that I’m enough. It’s insane how similar we think about ourselves. Thank you both so much for this video!
@@delevator8755 I feel that way about it sometimes too but half the time I’m thinking about other people “They’re so great! There’s no way they’re not confident about their abilities or appearance because they’re awesome”
Do you ever feel like that as a woman if you're given a compliment that you're brought up or 'society' says if you don't be modest and refuse it that you're labeled as being conceited or full of yourself? I have always felt like that and compliments or praise make me uncomfortable a lot.
@@mingle27 I think you’re probably right that it stems from a society thing with how women are expected to be but personally, I feel like I have to be modest or refuse a compliment just to be considered a good person in general. Very good point though
@@aries6896 right?! It just feels so unnatural to have somebody say something they genuinely feel about you and to not be like oh no everybody does nice things or anybody can create something like that or whatever it relates to. Meanwhile I give out compliments all the time when I think people are doing something really nice or smart or how they dress and I just expect them to take it so what a weird double standard LOL
1:14:38 This is actually a really good example of lack of confidence. One thing that a life coach told me that is a good first step to boosting confidence is to be more assertive. So instead of asking "do you mind if I use the bathroom?", say "I'm going to use the bathroom, brb". It's not like someone's gonna berate you, as long as you make your intentions clear, and it's subtle, but that sort of thinking has helped boost mine.
@@dusk5956 I think yes, just because having kids just get up and walk out of class could be disruptive. I imagine some students would abuse that as well.
This whole stream and her experiences and explanations were so relatable. It was a huge help to see it in someone else and realise I do the same, especially in someone I admire
Yvonne is such a sweet girl, it's good to see her back! ... But holy shit all these recent topics feel like I'm being personally attacked wtf Dr.K what is this wavelength hacking
I think Yvonne feels like a supporting character in everyone elses’s story. Sometimes the spotlight ain’t for everyone. Being the stage controller, janitor, and backup dancer are underrated but are always a HUGE boost for the overall presentation
To me, she seems like a very kind, humble supportive person. But, I don't think that means she can't also be a leader and main character. I like the aspect of Taoist philosophy that encourages spontaneous action and not limiting ourselves to a predetermined mindset. Water can be soft but it can also carve through the largest mountain.
That asking "do you want me to make you cry on stream" thing made me laugh though. I love your videos dude. You have no idea how much this has helped me right now.
"I think i'm good at minimizing things in my life" "like your accomplishement" damn it felt like a decisive hit in a boxing match. You know yvonne just throw a powerful straight but dr. K duck, pass under and rise for a crushing uppercut.
This shows how you can't logically convince yourself into confidence or accepting compliments, especially when the factors you're battling against are emotional / instinctual. You always need the appropriate tool for the job; you wouldn't try to pull out nails with a flashlight.
I'm so grateful for watching this interview, i just realised how hard on myself i can get and how I sometimes don't appreciate the effort i put into stuff i do, it opened my eye, u gotta be kind to urself and have some compassion, be proud you've come along way, 1 step is surely worth more than zero
I remeber that time when toast was streaming on twitch and said to chat that (non-verbatim) "Hey Chat, isn't Yvonnie beautiful without makeup?" man I remembered how toast's chat was typing how she's so pretty. WidepeepoHappy
I'd take a manager who cares over a manager who has all the top qualifications any day. It's amazing that she treats people like people and not just employees or robots. That's not common in my experience.
From my understanding, Yvonne is more of an employee of the other offlinetv members. But during offlinetv productions the power dynamic doesn't seem to be present, or at least it's not apparent.
It is WILD how effective it can be to just go through the thought process of "would I say this to my friend? No? Then why would I say it to myself?" That’s how I’ve gotten over my emotional problems with food and body image.
I hope Yvonne all the happiness in the world T.T I really enjoy watching her content, her reaction is one of the best, not seen too dramatic or fake, it's really her, it's genuine, it bring joys to the community
Yvonne, even if you don't feel that you're that pretty, just the fact that you are streaming and ok with being on camera is amazing. I wish I had the courage to do that.
30:43 also. He also has the same look as he asks Yvonne what "getting ahead of herself" means and she drops that her parents seem to have raised her not to be too overconfident in her abilities, because she can always do better and there are always other people who achieve more.
Body dysmorphia is becoming a prevalent issue today. As a person with bdd myself, its a complex mental illness that seriously gets in the way of you living a fulfilling, content life. Body dysmorphia doesnt only apply to someone who sees disfigured or untrue version of their body in the mirror. Its also the case for someone who sees their body/ face for what it is and unable to live a normal life because they're too fixated on their flaws. Some even feel like they're defective or abnormal because of their appearance(this would be me). I watched the old session Dr.K did with a girl with body dysmorphia, and he seemed to have difficulty making progress. Body dysmorphia is just really difficult to treat.. and I hope something close to cure gets discovered one day.
The word you're looking for is dysphoria. It's most often used in the context of gender dysphoria where we see our bodies for what they are but are upset about them.
my analogy is a bit wierd. imagine you're forced to let this stranger follow you around. theres nothing wrong with them but they dont communicate to you. all they do is stare at you with a blank stare. all the time. you can distract yourself from them, but then you look at them just to be sure. there he is staring. always staring. they always stare. you cant disrtact yourself anymore, youre always uncomfortable. you try to sleep but this stranger stands there at the foot of the bed. looks at you. silently. and stares. you start to hate this stare. their presence, you start to wish they would be gone. that you could sleep without that strangers eyes weighing on you. you wish theyd disapear. but there is a problem though. that stranger is you. and you are them. my experience is from nerve damage before getting used to the feeling of.. . feelinglesnes. I had a lil body dysmorphia (I think). anyway the thought of cleaving my finger off. did cross my mind. a couple of times atleast. to how it felt to mee was. that my finger wasnt mine. using it didnt feel the same. i was constantly aware of the wierd "feeling". pain caused by the finger. ecs. and i wanted this strange off putting feeling gone. Im lucky i got used to it. if i didnt i might have trimmed my finger a bit
Do you smell what the Doc is cooking?!? You Rock GG ❤️ Thanks for helping so many people, your videos give me such awesome insights. I’m always stoked to see when you’ve new uploaded
WHERE DOES MY CONFIDENCE CORRELATE WITH MY VALUES - This didn't make me think for long, BUT it answered one of my hardest questions about myself. What certain thing that I value am I missing that is causing me to not be confident in myself. Experience, Everyone in my family is in a relationship and has been in numerous relationships especially by my age (19). I'm the odd one out and I don't have any relationship experience or much social skills. That actually really bothers me more then I realized and puts me in a loop of not being confident because I don't have experience so I don't put myself out there which just leads to me losing any chance of getting experience. And no I don't mean just in sex, but just I have no experience of feeling loved romantically which just lowers my confidence so much. And its a feedback loop. I'm kind of stuck, people can give me advice but I guess im scared to put myself out there so I do feel like this is solvable like yvonne says how she can workout and she thinks it'll help. So I still think my reasoning is unjustified but doesn't make me anymore confident.
I think alot of people can relate to yvonne's issue not just girls, especially the confidence in how you look at urself. i sure do,. Recently ive started a small routine for skin care and it has helped, i just started using a cleanser, nothing drawn out or fancy but it makes me feel like im taking better care of myself. im not sure if it's helping with acne or anything yet but it does just make me feel better about myself, if only a small amount.
0:01 "..but the interesting thing is WHEN people chase confidence, what they chase is ACHIEVEMENT. which is MISSING THE POINT because what it actually does is places your value in yourself to be CONDITIONAL on your success and that actually is the OPPOSITE of confidence."
For me, I feel like praise feels meaningless unless someone is able to appreciate something I put my heart and soul into. It's like I put conditions on people that must be met before I can take their compliments.
This comment section did not pass the vibe check. Yvonne is a beautiful individual but saying that “she’s pretty she shouldn’t feel that way” THAT IS THE PROBLEM,,,THATS WHAT SHE STRUGGLES WITH, stop please. Have some common sense and comfort her in a way that doesn’t invalidate the way she feels. She is a human being and like all of us she is flawed, the only difference is that a good chunk of her life is out for everyone to see. This does not allow you to make judgments based off certain things you’ve seen and assume and then take that assumption for a fact. Don’t psychoanalyze, you’re not a psychiatrist, nor are you her therapist. You don’t know her. I don’t know her. She’s been through a lot and is already braver than any of you motherfuckers judging her behind a screen while she wears her heart on a sleeve.
@@isaaccardin nah, I was here a few hours earlier. There were a bunch of Predmyster stans hateposting right as the video went up, and their comments were deleted since then.
@@ctographerm3285 damn fuck that guy's fans. i would say the same about him, it really seems like he hasn't changed at all, but i'm not the right person to judge that
you said it better than I could! There's less of it now, but when the video released, a large portion was straight up invalidating her based on what we see ( not representative of her entire life. )
The compliments that land for me and the ones that made her emotional is specific praise about something meaningful. “You’re smart/pretty.” feels like something vague a complete stranger could say but someone who knows you could tell you the about the deeper qualities that lead to the why of the compliment. He didn’t just say “You’re a good leader.” He gave her specific praise about what she’s doing and why those qualities translate to good leadership.
Its not like it would be possible to get it from the outside ;D Everything external is fleeing and subject to rapid change. Confidence based on external things is just as feeling too
Also, an honest question: How do I find a therapist like Dr. K? I gave therapy a try again and expressed my goals, hoping we could discuss and explore the way Dr. K does with his clients but it just doesn't go that route. I seek understanding, but they just want to give me solutions.
thats why im scared the fuck out of therapy ( that they just give a fast solution) also doesnt help that idk what i want and how to deal with some shit, so.... HELP! xD
He's a doctor. That's probably the difference. Education levels. A normal talk therapist or councillor doesn't have the skill set someone like Dr K does. They just don't. Because Dr K has gone through a BUNCH more school to be where he is. I've been to talk therapists and they mainly help with surface level stuff. If you want a deeper dive that has the potential of being triggering because of how deep they might delve to get to the root of issues... It's expensive. Because they are highly trained professionals.
@@brndaBUM thx you! also wish you the blest! ( kill me xD). Hope that he/she will help you with whatever you are dealing with . i can kinda cope with that different city, but he never and will never get back. sadly.
@@AnxietyRat interesting, sadly i just have enough money to get a "normal pshycologist?" pd: sorry if i dont get it xD, its hard to me to really understand more than two sentences
I like the fact he gives her the choice ❤i feel Yvonne lives in the world of fantasy to protect herself from what she believes the real world thinks about her. I think a good cry does good sometimes. Asking myself multiples times in a row if I am good enough, if it is my fault, if I am a good person releases a lot of tension. But she has so much minimized her emotions that she does not allow herself to cry
Man I feel like this video has helped tons. I've been taking the wrong angle. Funny he mentions an exe, for weeks when I'm in situations, instead of overanalysing, I just chill out and try to understand what my brain is doing.
People seem to have a misunderstanding of what confidence is. Yvonne said, “I’m not trying to be super mega I can achieve anything.” The person in the quote doesn’t sound confident, but maybe has an inflated ego, and comes off as insecure. This misunderstanding may be a part of why narcissists gain in our society. Because we misunderstand confidence. They are actually insecure, and frankly, jerks. Actual confidence in society needs to replace it, but first we must understand what that even is. 1:31:35 but wait for quote (less than a min. Away).
Yvonne: *Actually a beautiful person inside and out, can’t see why others think she’s beautiful and great….* Me: *Knows I’m ugly AF with a horrible monotone country ass voice and fighting inherited made pattern Baldness, Still gets compliments from the occasional Viewer on my streams, now has Girlfriend (somehow)* Keep yo head up girl you are amazing, never let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially if it’s yourself, I know, I was born to be the best of the best and I put myself down all the time because I always end up being the worst in everything I do. You are awesome Yvonne!
40:46 Thats what i asked my mom about before i had an otoplasty surgery and she was : you are not ugly your ears are not bad. After the surgery she was like : They were horrible, they looked so bad. 😂
Confidence doesn´t come from external factors, people, things etc. it comes from within knowing that when it rains you can dance in it... There´s no measurement bar that concludes if someone is confident or not.
@@Dimitris_Half It´s not, if you need that then you have a lot of reflection to do. If you or anyone can´t be happy in their own company, nobody else actually will. YOU come first, always, not others. If you need external validation, then you´re not confident. I can be alone and still be the same way, that´s called being authentic.
It's curious how some people are visibly pretty, a lot of people tell them they are pretty, and they don't feel pretty all that much, while some people like myself, don't really get compliments very often, has never had a girlfriend, but I'm still quite pleased with how I look. Huh...
I think it's interesting too. I'd venture a guess that it has to do with objectification. Women especially get their looks focused on so much that it seems like something that can make or break your confidence and worth, and then you pick it apart more often like that's your default mode because everyone has an opinion about it. My husband feels fairly confident about his looks and I feel less confident about mine even though people say/imply that I'm more attractive than he is. But he doesn't feel the need to be super attractive. It's fascinating.
people tell me that i’m pretty fairly often and i’ve never really felt pretty except for in those moments…I think you get addicted to outside validation if it’s given to you often enough
I'm certain that in most cases women have it very differently than men. Different creatures that get a different kind of attention and expectations. I also get that some people are more attractive overall than others, and that there are opinions and all. But I don't get sometimes feeling pretty and sometimes not. That's a notion that is entirely up to how other people are looking at you. Like sure, you can dress up and be prettier and more attractive that way, but it's not like it changed you from ugly to pretty, it just presents you better. So to me, if a person is pretty than that person is pretty, I don't get not FEELING pretty. If someone else tells me I'm ugly I'll be like "ok, that's fine, that doesn't make me ugly, though".
The reason they don't feel it's because it isn't being said by people they follow. Think of this way, getting compliments from your mother are not as important as getting compliments from your crush.
omg i’m such a people pleaser, i can’t comprehend not saying ”thank you” no matter how little i believe their compliment 😅 i’d feel so rude and ungrateful just sitting there and bad for the other person for not aknowlidging their effort
@@darklaw7635 or maybe i just have manners? lmao, ever thought of that? you also thank people when u get a gift u don’t like, it’s just the kind thing to do
@@J33SS it's one thing being mannered because because it's your character and another being mannered out of whim. In other words, you are mannered because you pity them and don't want seem rude to other people. You can receive a gift you don't like but you should thankful and appreciate that people spend on you. Instead of acknowledging like if you are their boss
All of this resonated with me (apart from the looks thing). I always thought I was pathetic compared with other people. Inferior. When people compliment me it sounds disingenuous, like they're just trying to make me feel better. This has plagued me all my 37 years. So much that I still haven't left home, and that makes me feel even worse.
@@Queizar_X If you are not backing off when a girl is scared or/and uncomfortable it means a) you didn't notice it which betrays an extreme lack of social awareness or b) you are profiting off that to try to coerce her into doing something she might not want to do. If you want a girlfriend you try to go on dates and find a person with whomt hings seem to be going well and the vibes are positive. You don't randomly try to go for it with a friend who is not aware of what you are doing and gives you no indication of them wanting that. If you do anyways you pay a lot of attention to their reaction and if it seems like they're uncomfortable you instantly back off. It's basic social awareness i don't know what else to tell you.
It's gonna take me forever to go through all his videos, has Dr. K talked with anyone who has no friends and never been in a relationship because they stay home all the time? Or any adults who are still immature because they lack any social contact since school?
@@AdrianGarcia-qh3fm From what I remember the incel's lack of success with women wasn't from a lack of trying, he just kept getting rejected, so he must have had social contacts. I didn't watch the entire thing.
Catch when you're attaching your self-worth to something, make a note of it in your head and see the danger of it. Eventually you'll stop and you'll be able to accept who you are and where you're at.
I had a dream where Dr. K was my psychiatrist and he turned out to be a drug kingpin. His lackey threw me off a balcony and he stood there like it was nothing. I cannot look at him the same anymore. Im just kidding Dr. K's an awesome dude and I have nothing but respect for him but that is actually a dream I had. Weird.
Science is slowly making progress on *why* we dream, outside of the REM cycle. A popular theory is that dreams aren’t literal, but more symbolic. Some schools of thought also say the people places and things (all the nouns lol) are versions of you.
So I didn't fully get it, in order to be more confident "I need to accept what I am", the message was that, right? Like yes I have things that I am not proud of, or not fully good at, but it is OK, even IF I DON'T CHANGE IT. And then afterwards if I decide to improve certain aspects It is just to add to the confidence I already have, not necessarily cause confidence growth,right? And if it is all that then how can I persuade myself that I am OK, even though there are things I don't like about myself?
I think you got it. As for the "How can I begin to do this?" With therapy. That's it. You can't do it alone. Or it's extremely extremely extremely hard to do on your own. You will probably need the help and guidance of a therapist. Most people do.
I think their point was that insatisfaction never disappears, you might fix one thing about yourself, but then you'll get worried about something else. and no one can be perfect so you would never be enough. So the problem is the desire for perfection. To fix that you need to reocognize that imperfection in life is what makes it worth having. Without faliure and hardship our journey would not be exciting and meaningful- Overcoming things would have no meaning. Recognize that everyone has shortcomings (even ones they can't change like medical conditions ect..), but everyone still brings value to the world in one way or another. Put your self-worth in your ability to bring use/ value to the world.
@@eladcohen4039 I feel like this "you will always find flaws with yourself" meme is so fucking unreal. I used to be a skinny twig and couldnt even take my shirt off without feeling increadible shame and hated my body for it, now I've worked out and no longer feel that way. According to this meme something else should weigh me down just as much, well it doesnt. I still have things I dont think are fucking perfect but in comparison its whatever. You can and should improve yourself imo just dont get fucking obsessed with it.
@@Hoppitot Exacly, I think it's good to try to grow and overcome your flaws, but to also be realsitic about them. I think we attribute unproporional amount of attention to negetive aspects of ourselves (we evolved that way evoloutionarily speaking), but less to the positive. So we shouldn't let our fears dictate our actions, bu rather the want to make things better.
I can relate a lot with Ivonne. I'm an ISTJ and highly critical of myself, have high expectations for myself. I'm very duty driven as well. I feel like everything I do is just fine and minimal, like there is so much more I can do. Things come easy and I do take the value off of those things. All her comments about appearance also hit home. This was a great topic to cover.
1:27:40 "One of the hardest, if not the hardest patients I have ever worked with are the people who are BODY BUILDERS with Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)."
1:28:54 Here he says "As long as you're thinking about becoming prettier you're not gonna be confident." 1:25:12 And yet here he says "It's not about living to a standard, it's just saying 'Hey, like, I can -- That's where confidence comes from, it's sorta looking at your life and saying like... 'This could be better, I'm gonna do something about that.''" Is it me or are those two statements contradictory? What if realistically you could be prettier and then work towards that? Are you confident? Yes? No? Will you gain confidence from actively trying t... ahh.. I don't understand this..
I'm a dummy so dont necessarily listen to this. Dr. K has talked in the past about sewing seeds without expecting any of them to grow (in a different context, but I felt it applied). That is something that could be done here. Do things that ~could~ make your appearance better/make you more confident, but also dont expect anything from it. But, once again, this is a personal, nonprofessional conversion, so take it with a grain of salt 😂
@@brennawenger4091 Aha, so as long as you're not overly attached to that future possibility it's fine? You shouldn't rely solely on that future thing to fix your confidence because it won't, but at the same time you can focus on trying to improve yourself with realistic expectations? P.S. I don't think you're a dummy.
Youre taking 1:28:54, yes the goal is to become better and better, but hes saying "prettier" as a compararive word to another person, so look for what you cab improve and improve that, focus on yourself. If you focus on being prettier than another person, thats where confidence wont come.
Whats DrK is saying that people think confidence is obtained by success and achievements but that makes confidence have requirements. DrK says that confidence is obtained when you are ok with yourself no matter where you at even if you aren't your best.
This is interesting, I have the same confidence problems, however, the source is the complete polar opposite.....single child as well, but parents did not really pay attention, I am trying to get ahead of others (unsuccessfully), magnifying my issues, ....
Does anyone else think that Dr K looks like the Indian version of Michael Douglas with the headphones on? Looks like he's going to say "Greed is good" any moment.
Toasts line about "hey that's my friend you are talking about" when yvonne is down on herself is so good.
When did she said this, because I think I missed it😅
@@luukvanvulpen at 12:00
He's so sweet
Toast is the real hero here
Lmao I remember that meme, it was with a doge I think haha
Yvonne's anecdote about Toast telling her to not be mean to his friend (referring to Yvonne) was very relatable... If we wouldn't say that about our best friend, why would we say it about ourselves?
Because we are our worst critics and we see ourselves in every single light (good and bad) and tend to hyper focus on the bad details. At least, that's how I've viewed self-criticism
Toast is always such an amazing guy.
I'd say its because friendship is sort of like an agreement where being nice to each other/helping each other out are the terms.
There's no such thing between you and yourself so you're free to harshly criticize yourself for the sake of self improvement
@@punyrice5640 I think basic friendships can be seen as transactional, which is how I interpreted your reply. Deeper friendships aren't so black and white. Fairweather friends don't usually stick around when the storms come crashing in...
@@katesomnia I agree, friends who don't help you improve as a person and encourage your bad habits aren't true friends in my opinion. I think fair criticism shows how honest that friend is and how concerned they are for you.
My issue with confidence I think stems from at some point in my life, the concepts of 'confidence' and 'arrogance' got mixed together in my mind, and I almost fear becoming confident because of it.
I agree with that. While I was growing up I was worried that if I was too 'confident' and got too comfortable with myself that I'd turn into some kind of narcissistic asshole. Figured it was safer just to steer clear of it
Agreed . It’s hard to find the balance between confidence and staying humble . Sometimes when I look at myself I’m like Damn I look good and then the words stay humble pop into my head and it’s like my brain is fighting with itself
Yeah, confidence "from within" is not a thing, and I wish he's stop repeating this. People conflate self-esteem and confidence A LOT (even harvard psychiatrists, apparently).
@@Dimitris_Half So, you should be confident in flying a helicopter just because you have high self-esteem? You absolutely CAN be confident in a given field without 'believing in yourself' if you have a very high degree of success and competence. I mean you don't have to take my word for it, there's plenty of research out there: self-esteem is basically reverse trait Neuroticism.
@@Dimitris_Half What if you've never been in one?
I’m always just a lurker and never a commenter but I wanted to say that I REALLY related to how Yvonne’s feeling with always feeling like I could be better, disliking my appearance, and having trouble accepting that I’m enough. It’s insane how similar we think about ourselves. Thank you both so much for this video!
Me too. I genuinely find it hard to believe that everyone doesn't feel the same way.
@@delevator8755 I feel that way about it sometimes too but half the time I’m thinking about other people “They’re so great! There’s no way they’re not confident about their abilities or appearance because they’re awesome”
Do you ever feel like that as a woman if you're given a compliment that you're brought up or 'society' says if you don't be modest and refuse it that you're labeled as being conceited or full of yourself? I have always felt like that and compliments or praise make me uncomfortable a lot.
@@mingle27 I think you’re probably right that it stems from a society thing with how women are expected to be but personally, I feel like I have to be modest or refuse a compliment just to be considered a good person in general. Very good point though
@@aries6896 right?! It just feels so unnatural to have somebody say something they genuinely feel about you and to not be like oh no everybody does nice things or anybody can create something like that or whatever it relates to. Meanwhile I give out compliments all the time when I think people are doing something really nice or smart or how they dress and I just expect them to take it so what a weird double standard LOL
1:14:38 This is actually a really good example of lack of confidence. One thing that a life coach told me that is a good first step to boosting confidence is to be more assertive. So instead of asking "do you mind if I use the bathroom?", say "I'm going to use the bathroom, brb". It's not like someone's gonna berate you, as long as you make your intentions clear, and it's subtle, but that sort of thinking has helped boost mine.
I agree. Do you think children should ask to use the restrooms in school?
@@dusk5956 I think yes, just because having kids just get up and walk out of class could be disruptive. I imagine some students would abuse that as well.
Wow simple but makes so much sense. As the youngest child I had no choice to submit to others growing up.
This whole stream and her experiences and explanations were so relatable. It was a huge help to see it in someone else and realise I do the same, especially in someone I admire
Yvonne is such a sweet girl, it's good to see her back!
... But holy shit all these recent topics feel like I'm being personally attacked wtf Dr.K what is this wavelength hacking
wavelength hacking haha
You shouldn’t feel attacked. If what Dr. K is saying resonates with you, use his advice to better yourself
@@bobbuilder7952 It’s called using humour to hide our own insecurities
I love that the meditation timestamp starts with "OH SHIT I forgot meditation"
I think Yvonne feels like a supporting character in everyone elses’s story.
Sometimes the spotlight ain’t for everyone. Being the stage controller, janitor, and backup dancer are underrated but are always a HUGE boost for the overall presentation
To me, she seems like a very kind, humble supportive person. But, I don't think that means she can't also be a leader and main character. I like the aspect of Taoist philosophy that encourages spontaneous action and not limiting ourselves to a predetermined mindset. Water can be soft but it can also carve through the largest mountain.
That asking "do you want me to make you cry on stream" thing made me laugh though. I love your videos dude. You have no idea how much this has helped me right now.
"I think i'm good at minimizing things in my life" "like your accomplishement" damn it felt like a decisive hit in a boxing match. You know yvonne just throw a powerful straight but dr. K duck, pass under and rise for a crushing uppercut.
Your comment just gave me the best stroke I’ve ever had in my life
KNOCKOUT BLOW!!
Hit her with the emotional cross-counter.
This shows how you can't logically convince yourself into confidence or accepting compliments, especially when the factors you're battling against are emotional / instinctual. You always need the appropriate tool for the job; you wouldn't try to pull out nails with a flashlight.
weird analogy
@@OM-qb9lm You try to pull out nails with a flashlight? No wonder
how is it weird
"you wouldn't try to pull out nails with a flashlight"
If you believe in yourself you can achieve anything.
@@theeternalgus9119 LET'S DO IT, SOMEBoDY GET ME A FLASLIGYHT
Yvonne is a sweetheart, great to see her on again.
I'm so grateful for watching this interview, i just realised how hard on myself i can get and how I sometimes don't appreciate the effort i put into stuff i do, it opened my eye, u gotta be kind to urself and have some compassion, be proud you've come along way, 1 step is surely worth more than zero
As a father of two daughters, I can see myself needing to reference this video in the future, as they move through middle and high school. Thank you
I remeber that time when toast was streaming on twitch and said to chat that (non-verbatim) "Hey Chat, isn't Yvonnie beautiful without makeup?" man I remembered how toast's chat was typing how she's so pretty. WidepeepoHappy
I'd take a manager who cares over a manager who has all the top qualifications any day. It's amazing that she treats people like people and not just employees or robots. That's not common in my experience.
From my understanding, Yvonne is more of an employee of the other offlinetv members. But during offlinetv productions the power dynamic doesn't seem to be present, or at least it's not apparent.
@@ragamuffin1588 tbf, their line of work is a lot more personal than the average business. employer/employee lines tend to get blurred.
It is WILD how effective it can be to just go through the thought process of "would I say this to my friend? No? Then why would I say it to myself?"
That’s how I’ve gotten over my emotional problems with food and body image.
I hope Yvonne all the happiness in the world T.T I really enjoy watching her content, her reaction is one of the best, not seen too dramatic or fake, it's really her, it's genuine, it bring joys to the community
Yvonne, even if you don't feel that you're that pretty, just the fact that you are streaming and ok with being on camera is amazing. I wish I had the courage to do that.
I love Dr. K's smiles when he realizes something about his guest (e.g. 6:06)
30:43 also. He also has the same look as he asks Yvonne what "getting ahead of herself" means and she drops that her parents seem to have raised her not to be too overconfident in her abilities, because she can always do better and there are always other people who achieve more.
I love Yvonne, she has grown so much and I think it's fair to say, we're all proud of her.
Body dysmorphia is becoming a prevalent issue today. As a person with bdd myself, its a complex mental illness that seriously gets in the way of you living a fulfilling, content life. Body dysmorphia doesnt only apply to someone who sees disfigured or untrue version of their body in the mirror. Its also the case for someone who sees their body/ face for what it is and unable to live a normal life because they're too fixated on their flaws. Some even feel like they're defective or abnormal because of their appearance(this would be me). I watched the old session Dr.K did with a girl with body dysmorphia, and he seemed to have difficulty making progress. Body dysmorphia is just really difficult to treat.. and I hope something close to cure gets discovered one day.
i cant understand it and probably never will , but damn that sounds like eating grapefruit ( the bad way i suffer with grapefruit)
People generaly dont give a shit about how we look compared to ourselves
I'd love for Dr. K to revisit the subject
The word you're looking for is dysphoria. It's most often used in the context of gender dysphoria where we see our bodies for what they are but are upset about them.
my analogy is a bit wierd. imagine you're forced to let this stranger follow you around. theres nothing wrong with them but they dont communicate to you. all they do is stare at you with a blank stare. all the time. you can distract yourself from them, but then you look at them just to be sure. there he is staring. always staring. they always stare. you
cant disrtact yourself anymore, youre always uncomfortable. you try to sleep but this stranger stands there at the foot of the bed. looks at you. silently. and stares. you start to hate this stare. their presence, you start to wish they would be gone. that you could sleep without that strangers eyes weighing on you. you wish theyd disapear. but there is a problem though. that stranger is you. and you are them.
my experience is from nerve damage before getting used to the feeling of.. . feelinglesnes. I had a lil body dysmorphia (I think). anyway the thought of cleaving my finger off. did cross my mind. a couple of times atleast.
to how it felt to mee was. that my finger wasnt mine. using it didnt feel the same. i was constantly aware of the wierd "feeling". pain caused by the finger. ecs. and i wanted this strange off putting feeling gone. Im lucky i got used to it. if i didnt i might have trimmed my finger a bit
Do you smell what the Doc is cooking?!? You Rock GG ❤️ Thanks for helping so many people, your videos give me such awesome insights. I’m always stoked to see when you’ve new uploaded
WHERE DOES MY CONFIDENCE CORRELATE WITH MY VALUES - This didn't make me think for long, BUT it answered one of my hardest questions about myself. What certain thing that I value am I missing that is causing me to not be confident in myself.
Experience, Everyone in my family is in a relationship and has been in numerous relationships especially by my age (19). I'm the odd one out and I don't have any relationship experience or much social skills. That actually really bothers me more then I realized and puts me in a loop of not being confident because I don't have experience so I don't put myself out there which just leads to me losing any chance of getting experience. And no I don't mean just in sex, but just I have no experience of feeling loved romantically which just lowers my confidence so much. And its a feedback loop.
I'm kind of stuck, people can give me advice but I guess im scared to put myself out there so I do feel like this is solvable like yvonne says how she can workout and she thinks it'll help. So I still think my reasoning is unjustified but doesn't make me anymore confident.
I think alot of people can relate to yvonne's issue not just girls, especially the confidence in how you look at urself. i sure do,. Recently ive started a small routine for skin care and it has helped, i just started using a cleanser, nothing drawn out or fancy but it makes me feel like im taking better care of myself. im not sure if it's helping with acne or anything yet but it does just make me feel better about myself, if only a small amount.
damn, after a few dozen videos, I too can finally say that this episode resonated w me so much! Thank you, Yvonne!
Not everyone has the charisma to entertain people or even be likable, Yvonne has a lot of those!
0:01 "..but the interesting thing is
WHEN people chase confidence,
what they chase is ACHIEVEMENT.
which is MISSING THE POINT
because what it actually does is
places your value in yourself to be CONDITIONAL on your success
and that actually is the OPPOSITE of confidence."
For me, I feel like praise feels meaningless unless someone is able to appreciate something I put my heart and soul into. It's like I put conditions on people that must be met before I can take their compliments.
That's toxic
@@darklaw7635 Yup.
you gotta take what it is good and bad
i don’t get how to be different from this..
@@alix6553 appreciate compliments and the motive behind it. People complimenting you is a sign of submission which is hard to obtain
Progress! Not that it's required of any guest, but it's nice to see people get more in touch with themselves.
Great Video! If only I heard this 10 years earlier. Better now than never.
This comment section did not pass the vibe check. Yvonne is a beautiful individual but saying that “she’s pretty she shouldn’t feel that way” THAT IS THE PROBLEM,,,THATS WHAT SHE STRUGGLES WITH, stop please. Have some common sense and comfort her in a way that doesn’t invalidate the way she feels. She is a human being and like all of us she is flawed, the only difference is that a good chunk of her life is out for everyone to see. This does not allow you to make judgments based off certain things you’ve seen and assume and then take that assumption for a fact. Don’t psychoanalyze, you’re not a psychiatrist, nor are you her therapist. You don’t know her. I don’t know her. She’s been through a lot and is already braver than any of you motherfuckers judging her behind a screen while she wears her heart on a sleeve.
I combed through the comments like the degen I am and I did not see one example of what your talking about. You just wanted to rant :P
@@isaaccardin nah, I was here a few hours earlier. There were a bunch of Predmyster stans hateposting right as the video went up, and their comments were deleted since then.
@@ctographerm3285 damn fuck that guy's fans. i would say the same about him, it really seems like he hasn't changed at all, but i'm not the right person to judge that
you said it better than I could! There's less of it now, but when the video released, a large portion was straight up invalidating her based on what we see ( not representative of her entire life. )
The compliments that land for me and the ones that made her emotional is specific praise about something meaningful. “You’re smart/pretty.” feels like something vague a complete stranger could say but someone who knows you could tell you the about the deeper qualities that lead to the why of the compliment. He didn’t just say “You’re a good leader.” He gave her specific praise about what she’s doing and why those qualities translate to good leadership.
Its not like it would be possible to get it from the outside ;D Everything external is fleeing and subject to rapid change. Confidence based on external things is just as feeling too
Yea, like when you got one of those "motivational" conferences in school and 20 min later are like "meh".
Also, an honest question: How do I find a therapist like Dr. K? I gave therapy a try again and expressed my goals, hoping we could discuss and explore the way Dr. K does with his clients but it just doesn't go that route. I seek understanding, but they just want to give me solutions.
thats why im scared the fuck out of therapy ( that they just give a fast solution) also doesnt help that idk what i want and how to deal with some shit, so.... HELP! xD
That's strange because Dr.k has said that therapists are not trained to give solutions and that is the problem for a certain group of ppl
He's a doctor. That's probably the difference. Education levels. A normal talk therapist or councillor doesn't have the skill set someone like Dr K does. They just don't. Because Dr K has gone through a BUNCH more school to be where he is. I've been to talk therapists and they mainly help with surface level stuff. If you want a deeper dive that has the potential of being triggering because of how deep they might delve to get to the root of issues... It's expensive. Because they are highly trained professionals.
@@brndaBUM thx you! also wish you the blest! ( kill me xD). Hope that he/she will help you with whatever you are dealing with . i can kinda cope with that different city, but he never and will never get back. sadly.
@@AnxietyRat interesting, sadly i just have enough money to get a "normal pshycologist?"
pd: sorry if i dont get it xD, its hard to me to really understand more than two sentences
I like the fact he gives her the choice ❤i feel Yvonne lives in the world of fantasy to protect herself from what she believes the real world thinks about her. I think a good cry does good sometimes. Asking myself multiples times in a row if I am good enough, if it is my fault, if I am a good person releases a lot of tension. But she has so much minimized her emotions that she does not allow herself to cry
Petition to have Dr. Gamer just ask "Cry or no cry?" at the beginning of interviews
7:30 Less than 10 minutes in & Dr K explains how human mind works. This Dude's a genius !
Man I feel like this video has helped tons. I've been taking the wrong angle. Funny he mentions an exe, for weeks when I'm in situations, instead of overanalysing, I just chill out and try to understand what my brain is doing.
Some one tell Yvonne her face is not too round. Her cheeks are cute and it’s a distinguishing feature.
Yes! And it's such a youthful feature. She won't even have them forever because of aging and it'll probably work in her favor even more
16:04 this is the most league of legends thing I've ever heard
1:14:38 "It never ceases to amaze me how people apologize for leaving to use the restroom." 😆
The whole time I'm just thinking about that scene in spongebob where they're like THE POWER WITHIN
Dr. "I know it's kind of weird" K
People seem to have a misunderstanding of what confidence is. Yvonne said, “I’m not trying to be super mega I can achieve anything.” The person in the quote doesn’t sound confident, but maybe has an inflated ego, and comes off as insecure.
This misunderstanding may be a part of why narcissists gain in our society. Because we misunderstand confidence. They are actually insecure, and frankly, jerks. Actual confidence in society needs to replace it, but first we must understand what that even is.
1:31:35 but wait for quote (less than a min. Away).
Yvonne: *Actually a beautiful person inside and out, can’t see why others think she’s beautiful and great….*
Me: *Knows I’m ugly AF with a horrible monotone country ass voice and fighting inherited made pattern Baldness, Still gets compliments from the occasional Viewer on my streams, now has Girlfriend (somehow)*
Keep yo head up girl you are amazing, never let anyone tell you otherwise. Especially if it’s yourself, I know, I was born to be the best of the best and I put myself down all the time because I always end up being the worst in everything I do. You are awesome Yvonne!
20:58 That transition between expressions LOL
can tell by the title i needed this video for a while lol
40:46 Thats what i asked my mom about before i had an otoplasty surgery and she was : you are not ugly your ears are not bad. After the surgery she was like : They were horrible, they looked so bad. 😂
Confidence doesn´t come from external factors, people, things etc. it comes from within knowing that when it rains you can dance in it...
There´s no measurement bar that concludes if someone is confident or not.
@@Dimitris_Half It actually doesn´t, external can be easily taken away, then what...Don´t confuse false confidence with actual inner confidence.
@@Dimitris_Half It´s not, if you need that then you have a lot of reflection to do. If you or anyone can´t be happy in their own company, nobody else actually will. YOU come first, always, not others. If you need external validation, then you´re not confident. I can be alone and still be the same way, that´s called being authentic.
@@Dimitris_Half You need more self reflection than I thought...Good luck with that
1:31:43 "The more that you observe,
the more you go to the gym,
the more that you look at yourself like
the more your confidence will grow."
Great video!!!!
She is so pretty ❤
30:00 fck I feel that on a spiritual level
I have teary eyes since almost the beginning of the stream.
Me when i watch literally any of dr k's streams
It's curious how some people are visibly pretty, a lot of people tell them they are pretty, and they don't feel pretty all that much, while some people like myself, don't really get compliments very often, has never had a girlfriend, but I'm still quite pleased with how I look. Huh...
I think it's interesting too. I'd venture a guess that it has to do with objectification. Women especially get their looks focused on so much that it seems like something that can make or break your confidence and worth, and then you pick it apart more often like that's your default mode because everyone has an opinion about it. My husband feels fairly confident about his looks and I feel less confident about mine even though people say/imply that I'm more attractive than he is. But he doesn't feel the need to be super attractive. It's fascinating.
It's because confidence comes from within, no matter how many compliments you throw at someone who's insecure, they won't believe you
people tell me that i’m pretty fairly often and i’ve never really felt pretty except for in those moments…I think you get addicted to outside validation if it’s given to you often enough
I'm certain that in most cases women have it very differently than men. Different creatures that get a different kind of attention and expectations. I also get that some people are more attractive overall than others, and that there are opinions and all.
But I don't get sometimes feeling pretty and sometimes not. That's a notion that is entirely up to how other people are looking at you. Like sure, you can dress up and be prettier and more attractive that way, but it's not like it changed you from ugly to pretty, it just presents you better. So to me, if a person is pretty than that person is pretty, I don't get not FEELING pretty. If someone else tells me I'm ugly I'll be like "ok, that's fine, that doesn't make me ugly, though".
The reason they don't feel it's because it isn't being said by people they follow. Think of this way, getting compliments from your mother are not as important as getting compliments from your crush.
omg i’m such a people pleaser, i can’t comprehend not saying ”thank you” no matter how little i believe their compliment 😅 i’d feel so rude and ungrateful just sitting there and bad for the other person for not aknowlidging their effort
Sounds narcissist
@@darklaw7635 wait what, who?
When you say thank you, you don't meant it. You do it because you don't want to seem like a bad person. It's all about yourself
@@darklaw7635 or maybe i just have manners? lmao, ever thought of that? you also thank people when u get a gift u don’t like, it’s just the kind thing to do
@@J33SS it's one thing being mannered because because it's your character and another being mannered out of whim.
In other words, you are mannered because you pity them and don't want seem rude to other people.
You can receive a gift you don't like but you should thankful and appreciate that people spend on you. Instead of acknowledging like if you are their boss
When someone I care about beats themself up, I love to say “hey! Don’t talk about my friend like that”
All of this resonated with me (apart from the looks thing). I always thought I was pathetic compared with other people. Inferior.
When people compliment me it sounds disingenuous, like they're just trying to make me feel better.
This has plagued me all my 37 years. So much that I still haven't left home, and that makes me feel even worse.
It's great to see my favorite malder back on Dr. K!
What is a malder?
@ŠĐČĆŽ I see, ty
i hope one day i can get this much help for whatever im going through
I love this!
Thank you Yvonne for this talk. ♡ It was really nice to hear your perspective.
the first one was so good i'm excited foe this one LETS GOOOOO
1:34:00 "Why can't you just bestow upon him the awesomeness that is Yvonne?"
("He must be a lucky dude..")
54:22 "..because what I'm hearing you say is, 'If he was less loyal, I wouldn't be enough.;"
I like to hear these interviews with youtube rain in the background
most relatable interview
It's great that she thinks her friends are pretty but I'd love to let her know that she's as beautiful as well.
@@Queizar_X Better a simp than someone who idolizes a sex predator.
@@ctographerm3285 Truuuuuuu
I love your name.
@@Queizar_X If you are not backing off when a girl is scared or/and uncomfortable it means a) you didn't notice it which betrays an extreme lack of social awareness or b) you are profiting off that to try to coerce her into doing something she might not want to do. If you want a girlfriend you try to go on dates and find a person with whomt hings seem to be going well and the vibes are positive. You don't randomly try to go for it with a friend who is not aware of what you are doing and gives you no indication of them wanting that. If you do anyways you pay a lot of attention to their reaction and if it seems like they're uncomfortable you instantly back off. It's basic social awareness i don't know what else to tell you.
@@vladys5238 just report him, dont waste braincells in people like that
Yay! One of my favorite interviews from around when I started watching was the first Yvonne one :)
1:38:26 How to take a compliment
1:39:13 "You're very pretty."
1:40:25 "So, should we try again?" "Here we go." 😆
I'm always baffled when people feel insecure about how they look when they are together with someone and have another 20 lined up to be with them.
It's gonna take me forever to go through all his videos, has Dr. K talked with anyone who has no friends and never been in a relationship because they stay home all the time? Or any adults who are still immature because they lack any social contact since school?
Yes. Go watch the interviews of the girl with social anxiety or the incel dude
@@AdrianGarcia-qh3fm From what I remember the incel's lack of success with women wasn't from a lack of trying, he just kept getting rejected, so he must have had social contacts. I didn't watch the entire thing.
This reminded me of the mc from mushoku tensei
This is something I’m struggling with right now. This should be helpful for me, thanks Dr K!
Yvonnie 2.0 let's go!
She's so agreeable
Maybe I missed it or im dumb, but I'm still a little confused about how exactly a person is supposed to "build confidence"?
Catch when you're attaching your self-worth to something, make a note of it in your head and see the danger of it. Eventually you'll stop and you'll be able to accept who you are and where you're at.
Self Acceptance. Inner self work, it takes time. Feeling as if you are enough.
This one was very important to me
1:21:05 On not being enough, or being replaceable.
Asian upbrining
"be a doctor or lawyer; otherwise, you don't deserve to be confident."
I'm definitely going to use this tiring meditation
It'd be really nice if you managed to bring Whim Hof for an interview
I had a dream where Dr. K was my psychiatrist and he turned out to be a drug kingpin. His lackey threw me off a balcony and he stood there like it was nothing. I cannot look at him the same anymore.
Im just kidding Dr. K's an awesome dude and I have nothing but respect for him but that is actually a dream I had. Weird.
Science is slowly making progress on *why* we dream, outside of the REM cycle. A popular theory is that dreams aren’t literal, but more symbolic. Some schools of thought also say the people places and things (all the nouns lol) are versions of you.
Time for Dr. K to start a dream interpretation playlist 🤣
That's... awesome. I mean, I'm sorry, but from the outside that dream sounds amazing.
I would love to have a session with you Dr K
38:10 "What did it feel like not getting 1st, 2nd, and 3rd?"
So I didn't fully get it, in order to be more confident "I need to accept what I am", the message was that, right? Like yes I have things that I am not proud of, or not fully good at, but it is OK, even
IF I DON'T CHANGE IT. And then afterwards if I decide to improve certain aspects It is just to add to the confidence I already have, not necessarily cause confidence growth,right? And if it is all that then how can I persuade myself that I am OK, even though there are things I don't like about myself?
I think you got it. As for the "How can I begin to do this?" With therapy. That's it. You can't do it alone. Or it's extremely extremely extremely hard to do on your own. You will probably need the help and guidance of a therapist. Most people do.
I think their point was that insatisfaction never disappears, you might fix one thing about yourself, but then you'll get worried about something else. and no one can be perfect so you would never be enough. So the problem is the desire for perfection.
To fix that you need to reocognize that imperfection in life is what makes it worth having. Without faliure and hardship our journey would not be exciting and meaningful- Overcoming things would have no meaning. Recognize that everyone has shortcomings (even ones they can't change like medical conditions ect..), but everyone still brings value to the world in one way or another. Put your self-worth in your ability to bring use/ value to the world.
@@eladcohen4039 I feel like this "you will always find flaws with yourself" meme is so fucking unreal. I used to be a skinny twig and couldnt even take my shirt off without feeling increadible shame and hated my body for it, now I've worked out and no longer feel that way. According to this meme something else should weigh me down just as much, well it doesnt. I still have things I dont think are fucking perfect but in comparison its whatever. You can and should improve yourself imo just dont get fucking obsessed with it.
@@Hoppitot Exacly, I think it's good to try to grow and overcome your flaws, but to also be realsitic about them. I think we attribute unproporional amount of attention to negetive aspects of ourselves (we evolved that way evoloutionarily speaking), but less to the positive. So we shouldn't let our fears dictate our actions, bu rather the want to make things better.
Being ok with yourself it's true confidence but society punishes you for thinking that way.
51:42 "CONFIDENCE is NOT about belief.
In fact, it's the EXACT OPPOSITE."
55:15 "How do you feel about yourself in that relationship?"
I can relate a lot with Ivonne. I'm an ISTJ and highly critical of myself, have high expectations for myself. I'm very duty driven as well.
I feel like everything I do is just fine and minimal, like there is so much more I can do. Things come easy and I do take the value off of those things.
All her comments about appearance also hit home.
This was a great topic to cover.
1:27:40 "One of the hardest, if not the hardest patients I have ever worked with are the people who are BODY BUILDERS with Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)."
54:44 "Whether you're enough doesn't depend on your boyfriend's loyalty."
I love how her and Leslie respond hysterically the same
1:35:24 "You think he's a lucky dude?
1:39:13 "You're very pretty"
*silence ensues for 10 seconds*
30:08 I can relate to that..
1:28:54 Here he says "As long as you're thinking about becoming prettier you're not gonna be confident."
1:25:12 And yet here he says "It's not about living to a standard, it's just saying 'Hey, like, I can -- That's where confidence comes from, it's sorta looking at your life and saying like... 'This could be better, I'm gonna do something about that.''"
Is it me or are those two statements contradictory? What if realistically you could be prettier and then work towards that? Are you confident? Yes? No? Will you gain confidence from actively trying t... ahh.. I don't understand this..
I'm a dummy so dont necessarily listen to this. Dr. K has talked in the past about sewing seeds without expecting any of them to grow (in a different context, but I felt it applied). That is something that could be done here. Do things that ~could~ make your appearance better/make you more confident, but also dont expect anything from it. But, once again, this is a personal, nonprofessional conversion, so take it with a grain of salt 😂
@@brennawenger4091 Aha, so as long as you're not overly attached to that future possibility it's fine? You shouldn't rely solely on that future thing to fix your confidence because it won't, but at the same time you can focus on trying to improve yourself with realistic expectations?
P.S. I don't think you're a dummy.
Youre taking 1:28:54, yes the goal is to become better and better, but hes saying "prettier" as a compararive word to another person, so look for what you cab improve and improve that, focus on yourself. If you focus on being prettier than another person, thats where confidence wont come.
@@sighser4388 Yup, makes sense, thanks.
Whats DrK is saying that people think confidence is obtained by success and achievements but that makes confidence have requirements.
DrK says that confidence is obtained when you are ok with yourself no matter where you at even if you aren't your best.
This is interesting, I have the same confidence problems, however, the source is the complete polar opposite.....single child as well, but parents did not really pay attention, I am trying to get ahead of others (unsuccessfully), magnifying my issues, ....
Does anyone else think that Dr K looks like the Indian version of Michael Douglas with the headphones on? Looks like he's going to say "Greed is good" any moment.
When you're getting top in your test results and you're only average looking. That idea made my empathy senses click
25:21 "Confidence DOESN'T seem to correlate with attractiveness."
Norton Security Suite has detected a mind virus in replaceable.exe. To feel secure in yourself, it is recommended that you delete this file.