I want to add a weakness. My bf is an intj. I think one of infj's weaknesses is the ability to articulate. An infj brain is like a tree with countless branches. When I try to present or explain something I have tons of info I want to share that I end up saying things that are unnecessary. It's like tons of info wanting to come out in a rush at the same time. Do you experience that? An intj can give fewer points and their ideas come across\s faster and easier. That is one thing I am working on, because if we want to be great communicators, we need to express ourselves more effectively.
The ability to articulate my thoughts verbally, and yes I couldn't agree more. I always feel stupid trying to explain something verbally because whatever is in my head can't seem to find its way out the way I want it to, or I just end up rambling. I too feel like I have a lot of thoughts floating around in my mind at the same time and that certainly doesn't help when trying to communicate orally. I absolutely feel like that inability is a huge flaw of being INFJ and I'm not really sure what to do about it. I try to communicate through writing whenever it's possible because of how much easier it is. It lets me think everything through before I put it out there. That isn't to say the rambling part is non-existent because it really depends on the nature of the conversation. If it's deep and reflective for instance, I can just go on and on about the different ideas I have on the subject. However I'm only turning 18 this month and it was just recently I learned that my type or the type I'm closest to is INFJ so I haven't had much experience exploring it and its different aspects. I'd love to find another INFJ and discuss similarities and differences!
Erin Inquire this is interesting. I am an INFP. My sister is an ISTJ, and my ex is an INTJ. Both have told me i tend to include too much detail and go off on a tangent when trying to explain one thing. I just feel that whatever extra info i include helps created a more-well rounded picture to help the receiver better understand the story or situation. Maybe it is the FP and TJ conflict. Idk.
The way I explained it to an INTJ is - it is because INFJs see and understand more. For me to go on many details, is like going through a maze and actually see what is happening real time - even if there are a thousand things happening, I can articulate them for you - IF you will learn to be patient in listening. Sounds familiar? :)
I see it as very visual and complex and general. Very much like smoke and mirrors, a painting, writing, lot of imagination floating around... :) Yeah, I have that articulation thing, I thought it was inherited just the way of processing haha
Erin Inquire Yes, I like the tree analogy. Sometimes I feel like my head is full of useless trivia, but I can pull it up when it is useful. When I try to explain something to another person, I tend to tell a story because I want them to really understand all the facets. They try to cut me off and interrupt. If they listen to the whole thing, they will say "OK, so basically you mean this: ................................... then they will say one sentence. They can summarize it, but it doesn't have the details and the flavor and the emotion. It's like a rice cake. But it is as if I am incapable of doing that myself, I HAVE to tell the story. My ex husband used to make me tell him what happened in a movie if I had watched it and he had missed it. I didn't like it, because it took me forever to describe the movie to him. Every scene important to the plot, every bit of dialogue between characters, every explosion and car chase, all of it. Took about a half hour. Then months later he would tell me that he had watched that movie, and at first he though he had deja vu and had already seen it, then he would remember I had described it to him. See? I can't even leave a short comment.
I agree with the music thing. I also tend to obsess over songs, artists, and albums. I can spend like weeks or even months listening to the same artist or album. I guess I just become so fascinated that I keep listening to know every detail of the music. After a few weeks or months I'll dump it and change to a different one. Anyone relate to that?
Yes, INFJ euphoria is a thing. All the time, especially as a Christian, I think it's so easy to get to that place of connecting with God, or bigger things... spirits of the ages, of nations, of people. Concepts can be felt, their energies grasped and experienced, as well as understood. This is a lot of the joy of life for me.
Mostly, though, the greatest of joys is in experiencing God. If you haven't already, I would strongly recommend reading the book “Desiring God” by John Piper. A very good read. Also, the Church Fathers are not to be neglected even seeing how old and ancient they are. Saint Augustine in his “Confessions” is great, and so relatable, and so deep. Oh, and even though it's in the Bible, Ecclesiastes is some serious Ti. And 1 John is great. (I'd read the book of John after that.) And then Romans if you're still benefitting. There is no concept loftier, nor energies more satisfying or overwhelming than that which may be experienced in resonance with the Spirit of the Triune God, to have Him sing within your spirit, granting you peace and purpose, meaning and life-I mean ζωή (spiritual life) not namely βίος (which is of matter and the things which might be physically touched that are alive) in this, in the sense of ζωή, life is abundant in Him. I'd strongly recommending tasting of Him before dismissing Him and the life and some of the many dimensions of “energy” that is within Him, if you haven't already. He is good-a close Father, a most intimate of friends, even as He is a guiding Spirit. He truly is of dimensions beyond us, possessing all previous dimensions-including sentience, albeit in more dimensions than I can grasp. Because of this, one never goes bored of knowing, and spending time with, and learning about-and experiencing-this One You know, though, I did hear also, that when He took on humanity-a mortal body, which now has blossomed into immortality-He took on our own personality, the personality of the INFJ. Though in this-that the Christ was, and perhaps still is, an INFJ-I am not entirely sure or confident, though I suppose it is possible that such could be the case. In learning more about this God, it is likely that the one may learn more about oneself than previously known or experienced, even in the experiencing of the Divine. In losing ourselves to Him, we find ourselves. It is a strange thing to consider, but I've found it indeed to be true.
Don't know if you're a Christian or not... (though from what you've said and the way you are I think you could be?) What I've said still stands as shared and I think it could still be really interesting regardless. :-) Relatable if you're a Christian, if you're not, maybe a new thing to look into? Though I bet you already have if you're anything like me. Though there's always more. Trust me in that. (Though I'm sure you already know.)
I know INFJs mean well when they say Jesus was an INFJ, but the honest truth is that He wasn't. God is like the human body in that He is the whole source, but we humans make up the individual parts within the body and are interdependent upon one another. Likewise, God's attributes can easily be seen in every personality type, as He is the whole body, and we are just the parts. So yes, INFJs have attributes of Jesus, but so does the ST, SF, NT personality type. I say this as an INFJ. :-)
Sorry that's all so long! It'll take a while to process through, and will also take at least 30 minutes to listen to the bit of the C.S. Lewis audiobook, not including maybe also reading or listening to Saint Athanatius's work “On the Incarnation”, and then more research might be required as well on the Theology of the Incarnation and the early Church Councils concerning Christology. (But if you're faithful to look into all of these things, you will emerge from it all much stronger and much greater in knowledge and faith.) This is your challenge, sister in Christ and person of the same personality and friend, should you choose to accept ;)
This guy is so INFJ. INFJ me relates... friendly acquaintances easily yes, music ecstacy yes, fall in love deeply yes (have a hard time finding a partner that can feel the same because of this), people open up to me easily (except INFJs lol) , leadership obligations but hesitant yes. I could go on but ..agreed, agreed on all..oh my gosh yes..
The Good 1. Ability to adapt relational a. (warm, friendly, familiar) 2. Ability to feel music a. (overwhelming release of ecstasy ) 3. Able to Love Extremely Deeply a. Sometimes envy otters that are able to 4. Good Judger of Character a. r "connection, understand, articulate what you're going through better than you can yourself" 5. Reluctant Leader able to fill the vacuum a. "caution some will value my position, authority, power over o The Challenging 1. Withhold our ideals To avoid Conflict a. Under the surface of are likability b. feel like we are faking it socially and struggle to fell authentic because ) c. Action Plan: Pick and choose my battle, expect conflict 70-80% of the time in my relationship, see conflict as a necessary pathway to lasting growth, intimacy and peace 2. Second Guess Ourselves a. Learning to embrace what I don't know and take the time of joy, happiness and ecstasy and let it be 3. Tend to "Idealize" our significant others denying reality a. My partner is human and has flaws b. My projection of who I want others to be is not real, fair and 4. Absorbed People psychic Garbage (cofessions of secrets, hurts, hang-ups) a. Remember it's not good to take on other people's burdens enabling them , its unhealthy, stressful and harmful for use b. Set the boundaries up front "Meet me for coffee from 5-6pm Monday" c. Recognize the individuals that have a pattern of dumping and put a system in place to put your self-care and well being ahead of their hurting. (hurt people, hurt people) 5. We Avoid Leadership , When the world around us need Us most a. The stakes are high, many leaders today lack ability to make quality choices and perspective…but I avoid it b. INFJ know the world would value and largely benefit from what we have to offer in the political, social, intellectual and spiritual landscape.
I'm an INFJ and completely relate to your response to music. It doesn't happen very often but more so with certain songs. Kinda like goosebumps or hair raising up. It's cool that I'm not the only one.
From my own observation of my self and other Infjs is that since infjs are often misunderstood they tend to have beliefs that something is wrong with them and so they develop a sort of inferiority complex but then when they find out that they really are infj they develop a sort of superiority complex over other personality types to make up for that feeling of inferiority. I get the happiness in finally figuring out there's nothing wrong with us (or anyone actually) and that were special, but see everyone is special in their own way. No one is better or lesser than others. I'd say this is a common trap for all people and especially injs to fall into. Thinking that were inferior and then thinking were actually special compared to others is a defense mechanism which totally isn't personal. And this weakness can become a strength because when we are honest with ourselves and work on this dynamic (for those who have it) well have something else to empathize with people :)
INFJ here. You're on point with my personal experiences 100% across the board. I know most people don't have the patience to wait for our thoughts and ideas to "fully bake" (for lack of better terminology), but we do have a wisdom that's hard to come by for most due to the depth to which we understand a subject. We sometimes get in our own way in situations because of our Blindspot being our understanding of ourselves or our capabilities, or both at times. It's great to see and hear from another INFJ no matter the topic. Thanks for the video!
Yeah, things like that porn-joke opener... Those who aren't INFJs have absolutely NO idea how bizarre the inner-workings of our minds are, to the point that some might even be afraid to tread around in our heads. We are capable of such beauty and light, and such strange, dark deviance... Also, we're much funnier than we're given credit for. ;)
Brian, my suggestion is for you to consider making a video about INFJs and competent leadership, so sorely lacking in our country, and how reserved or reluctant INFJs can harness their enormous hidden potential to learn to step forward into leadership positions. I have found there are many available good leadership seminars and books that can be very helpful. INFJ, be all you can be! The world awaits you.
Are not INFJs judgmental? I read several times that they are quite known for being judgmental. Either for self preservation (scan to see if the person fits their structure moral values, .... ) and also for high standards they have (on themselves and also others.. ). Their strong value system often means they can be rather judgmental of others. What I read, INFJs are usually tolerant but can find it difficult to accept people they see as superficial, fake or insincere. INFJs often say they like observing people from a distance before deciding whether they want to get to know them better. But what does observing people and "conclusion" about them mean ? Not that they are judgmental ? Not sure here. I do not see "tolerant" and "judgmental" as opposite words. Are they?
I totally agree with feeling the mood of music. I feel the highs and low, the happiness and sadness of music very deeply. I think everything we experience is spiritual. We feel everything deeply. Not that all the other personality types don't but I know we INFJ's do.
yea definitely feel music deeply.. but it can get hard to enjoy those moments when there happens to be someone witnessing the "ecstasy" moments of musical bliss.. without them thinking you're an absolute basket case:p .. I was driving a co-worker home awhile ago when the song -the air that I breath by the hollies, came on and within a minute I just broke down and had to pullover - just to get my emotions/torrential downpour of tears under control... aghhh INFJ awkwardness - It never ends:/ lol
Actually I just found that I am INFP. I wasn't sure if I was INFJ or INFP. So with that said this must be true for INFP also. I would like to add that I don't pay much attention to lyrics. It all about the mood of the music for me. I'll pay more attention to how the lyrics are expressed as suppose to what the vocalist is conveying.
I love what you said about seeing other personality types being able to hop from one relationship to the other, and still be in "love" every time, all over again. I spent about 2 years asking myself if I was certifiably crazy, watching EVERYONE do this sort of moving on, while I was still writing poems about love, seeing it all over my world, and just feeling like it would never vanish.
Hi. Fellow infj lurker here. Part of my reluctance to lead is due to how complicated interactions can be. I can sometimes influence people with chicanery - influencing their decisions in a way that makes them think it's their idea. This talent seems useful, but multiply it by the habit of overamalyzing and there isn't enough time in the day for thinking through all the possibilities. I am more comfortable as a facilitator or guide because I'm removed from the process that way.
i just found out I'm an ENFP and while researching, i kept seeing over and over again how the ENFP and the INFJ are extremely compatible.... basically all the videos I've come across have told me that i need an INFJ in my life! haha so naturally i became curious like hmm i wonder what an INFJ is like? because i dont know whether or not I've ever come across one before.. so i did what any creature of curiousity would do and looked up the INFJ type and you popped up... now after watching you, i can soooooo easily see what they were talking about.. I can so easily see myself just listening to you speak for hours and hours and never growing tired of you haha.. PS The Giver is one of my favorite books
Jessica Arana I know it's been a year since you last wrote your comment here, but I just wanted to say my current gf is enfp and even though the relationship is still new, we have hit it off wonderfully. Also it was just recently that she took the test. We found each other and knew it was love before knowing she was enfp. Hope you are well. I'm sure an infj would be a great match for you. Good luck, we are a rare bunch. :)
Watching this video was like listening to my own mind. You're so similar to me that it's scary! As an INFJ, I completely understand and can relate to everything you said. The response to music thing is so true. When I'm listening to music, I tend to feel like I'm not on this planet. As you said, it's hard to explain. It's like I feel the music so deep, physically, in my heart and soul, that it becomes part of me and moulds my feelings/emotions. A song that does this to me is 'With or Without You' by U2. I'm also very hesitant in regards to leadership positions. I'd rather work in the background, quietly doing my thing. I don't want the responsibility that leadership brings. Like you, people seem to tell me things they haven't told anyone else. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone in this - I so often feel disconnected and different.
I love your videos ^^ Watching you is very relaxing. I also have never seen an INFJ man before. I've been wondering a lot lately, how much of the "INFJ" traits are really specific to INFJs, or are just the way people are in general. Like, I've honestly never thought about it until you said it, but the music thing is SOOOOO true. It especially happens when I dance. And have sex. I literally get caught up and feel this sense that I am in heaven - literally. Haha. But I would have just expected that was common to everyone. I mean, everyone loves music and dancing and sex right? Random thoughts.
Idealizing partners. It's cruel to put anyone on a pedestal because the person will eventually and inevitably fall from it. One thing I've tried - and I think this has really helped - is to stop forcing our love to meet my ideal, and, instead, bring my ideal to meet our love. I have found that this isn't much like "settling" after all because, once I put it into practice, it has been enriching and liberating. So far, so good anyway. :) I like this approach because I want to marry my vision with reality, and this fits with that goal. Also, it enables me to see many good things I was blind to when I was pining after an unrealistic ideal in this area.
That's great advice Chandra. You mind me asking how many years it took for you to figure this out? I know it's kind of personal and you don't have to answer on youtube haha.
We've been married 14 years, and that revelation was somewhat recent in its more refined form, but it's actually part of an ongoing process that started three years ago. I told my husband that I don't ask for perfection, but that I do ask for growth - both as individuals and as a couple. Always. As in never ending growth throughout life. For some, this is apparently a high demand, but he is fine with this. (He tests INTJ, and I've yet to see him shy from anything challenging in life.) The problem arises when we try to force our way of being onto each other. I can't force an NT into an NF ideal way of being, and he can't force an NF into an NT way of being. But we both have needs that need to be met in the relationship, so we work toward understanding each other constantly. It's not always easy, but, because I have proof of serious progress over the years, I feel we're on the right track.
That's what is great about MBTI. It allows us to better understand our own weakness and strengths as well as our partners. But I think the key word is 'understanding' here. It does get rough when we want someone to change for the better and they won't. At the same time they might be having the same issue with us. I'm glad you've been working at your relationship for 14 years! That's awesome!
I've watched all of your videos, and I will probably watch them all again. Out of many self-proclaimed INFJ's here on TH-cam, you are the only one who... makes me feel as if I'm watching myself making a video. All of your mannerisms, and train of thought are VERY "infj" in my opinion. There's kind of a softness yet dynamic quality to your speech, and also the impression (as a viewer) that your thoughts are surfacing from a giant sea of subconscious-- which is just screaming introverted intuition (with harmony as the carrier). Anyway man, I wish you would make more videos! Regardless of their "subject", whatever you have to say will undoubtedly be a pleasure to your viewers. So, carry on, and take care. (And post more damn videos lol) :)
I'm an INFJ pastor, I have been blessed with the gift of playing piano and organ. I also sing. And yes, I feel music so deeply that it annoys me when others in church don't seem to have a clue. I love the older hymns and melodious songs that have complexity, beauty, and depth far more than the modern CCM worship songs that seem shallow, beat driven, and basic. There are certain songs and parts of songs that move me to tears and shouts and exsatacy. I guess that's why I will always be an old line Pentecostal at heart. I can't experience that depth in most other churches.
yes to the overwhelming ecstasy! Only bits here and there but it hits so hard- to the core. Sometimes I start bawling because it's so intense! I almost always feel like I am "faking it" socially. Refreshing to hear your take on pick and choosing battles. Loved this video..it made me feel better about being an INFJ :)
By over-analysing, do you mean for instance when a social encounter ends, and you immediately replay the scenario in your head, i.e. thinking about whether you used the best choice of words and phrases, and how your body language came across? I think INFJ personalities are defined just as much by our interactions with others as by our consistent inner dialog. It's hard to get outside of my own head sometimes. Do you have any advice on how to manage this?
Exactly what i was thinking. I was just having this inner dialogue about how i NEED to start talking more and maybe express myself a little bit better to the world around me because i'm at a stage where this whole inner self-talk is getting really overwhelming and quite tiring tbh.
Oh wow.. The thing you just said about music, especially some specific melodies just stir up so intense deep emotions. I've tried talking to people about this thing and I feel like many people believe they do relate and that it's not really so special, but I don't think that they really comprehend the intensity and depth of the emotions that stir up in those moments. I could be wrong, but I feel like if they really related, they'd be EXTREMELY excited about the subject. :)
Totally agree about the music thing. I get chills with certain melodies strike a chord (no pun intended) which is why I think I like such an eclectic range of music. Almost like I am still searching for the perfect melody or note or something. As for the love issue, I am all in or all out. No inbetween.
"Overwhelming ecstasy when listening to music" Oh my God yes! It feels so amazing. I haven't met a lot of people that can FEEL that way. It's like entering a trance right?
Brian, I never post comments on youtube videos but your profound ability to empathize with me through a screen has left me catalyzed. As a 16 year old INFJ girl, the paradoxes of my personality type in relation to my adolescent surroundings often confounds me. For once I feel completely understood, not just by someone else, but by myself through your video. I am strangely a INFJ with a lot of leadership roles so I also found your points about leadership to be particularly compelling. You have left me with a lot to think about. Thank you for that. As for the music, I have a neurological condition called synesthesia. My brain cross-wires senses so, for me, every song has color and stimulates a physical response on my body. For example, this one song called eyes by rouge wave has very particular colors and at the 1:50 min mark, there is a sudden shit of movement which is triggered across my upper body. It might be something for you to look into. My letters and numbers also have color and when I interact with others I can physically feel objects in their hands or their body movements (its called mirror touch). I'm not sure if any of this is similar to what you experience but thought it was worth mentioning.
Hey Hana, I feel very honored that you would write this to me! And I wish I had your vocabulary and concise writing style at age 16. Wowzers! Can I give you some advice that I wish I had been given when I was your age? It's okay to second guess yourself and distrust yourself occasionally, but find a way to make your mind and decisions come back down to solid ground. If you have any older/wiser family members or friends, seek out their counsel. It should be a person your trust. If that person(s) doesn't exist, then trust in your own intuition as you develop who you are and who you want to become. I haven't heard of synesthesia before and it doesn't sound like something I have. I'm kind of jealous that you get to have those experiences though. Same with mirror touch, I don't think I've experienced that before (but I'm sure happy you do). I do enjoy Rouge Wave's eyes. Do you see any colors on "Falling Slowly", off of the "Once" soundtrack? th-cam.com/video/lWE64Tg0FwY/w-d-xo.html
+Brian Schultz , thank you for the advice. fortunately, I am surrounded by incredibly intellectual and kind adults. I should probably take advantage of that more often. I had also just watched your most recent video on success and thought the crux of what you said to be very important. Especially coming from a school which is extremely competitive, I feel that insight is unfortunately lost around my peers. Thank you for reminding me that still exists. Falling Slowly has been a long standing favorite of mine. Glen Hansard's green voice dances around blues and purples (probably from the piano) and pairs with the females light yellow voice. I actually have a playlist on my Spotify called synesthesia which features the 8 songs that creates the most interesting colors and physical feelings.
Hana M fairly sure i have some form of synesthesia too. Probably more than one, but honestly it's confusing knowing for sure what's caused by my wild imagination, my INFJ sensibility to inputs and what could be a neurological condition. Comment it's old, still if you read this, i'd be curious on whatever you feel like sharing on these : We move as one-Antigone & Francois X Journey Home-Antigone & Francois X Distant Eyes-Sidewalks and Skeletons Snow Dive-Jukka Rintamäki Take your time and i strongly advise wearing headphones and being comfortable in a dark room :)
Making friends easily: I am not the same. I can be friendly, nice, sweet, and polite which can naturally draw people to me but I am mostly guarded. Besides that, I almost always discourage intimate conversations with people like coworkers or strangers because I want my alone time and space and silence. Music: I have songs I like that doesn't match my personality, like Eminem. He has songs that may sound appalling to others but I like them even if I cannot relate it to my personal life, I just simply like how feelings and thoughts were expressed through the lyrics. Love extremely/deeply: TOTALLY 100% true for me. It is BOTH a decision to love and feelings of love. If you know what that means. Good judgment of people: I feel like I have this super power. It only takes a tone of their voice, match with their facial expression and body language - I can already make a prediction on who they are or if we will potentially get along or not. I am always often right. In fact, I don’t remember a time I was wrong. Leadership: I think I am natural leader being an infj. We are smart, and we are best with people so we can therefore lead and persuade easily. Admit it, we can be manipulators, we are just too nice/kind to not do it with bad intentions. I hope I will not have to (evil grin). YES, I get totally drained when in crowded places for a long period of time, or even in a small group where people are constantly talking for hours. I want to disappear and I'd imagine myself getting transported to some place where I can have total silence. INFJs can potentially be good leaders and teachers....if only teachers are paid well. Thanks Brian. Great video.
I obsess with songs, lyrics and beats with music of any genre. I read people so easy, love so hard, I will avoid public speaking in a leadership role and I’m great at delegating those kinda things (reluctant leader). Strangers always open up to me and I just can’t fake it ✌🏼❤️
Brian, I dont know if you will read this, but I am happy and laughing watching your video. I love when you say "people are people", and then you smile. Do I know that smile! ;) i try to hide it all the time, otherwise i have to explain myself for 45 minutes and still come out looking rather lunatic xD Hope you are well!
Brian! Great insights Sir! I myself am an INFJ and I can relate on everything from, music ( I play the piano by ear), to volunteering in small groups of shy/super introverted people. I also find it crazy how much we retain the emotions and feelings of those around us. Loved the video! This is the first I have watched, I hope there are more.
Feeling music is such an important part of myself. I really enjoyed watching you speak as I can see my own facial expressions and mannerisms in you too. Very comforting.
Absolutely understand about "connecting" with music. Certain chord schemes, notes, or just damn fine story telling are like salve to my soul. Another INFJ kindred here. Thanks for sharing.
I can relate to your experience with music as well. For me it's classical music like Nocturne No.2 in E flat major.....when i was younger I was obsessed with music that made me feel this way. Personally I think classical composition can only be genuinely appreciated by INFJ persons..actual lyrics make things more digestible for the majority...but the notes the chords and their progressions, although they might be heard as just an elaborate expression of fundamentals and skill, all of it (to me) is perfectly articulated emotion, without words, which is kinda how INFJ typically function lol
I agree wholeheartedly, about loving very deeply. The hardest part is, I believe, we very much need the same from our partners, or we have an inner sadness as a result of our partners not being able to reciprocate. I am starting over in my life and partnered relationship of 13 years, to my sadness, but now looking forward to a future partner who can love deeply. As an INFJ, I believe we need to experience a deep love with our partner because we want to be understood on our deepest level and want to know our partners on their deepest level.
Leadership roles "obligated to step in"...I KNOW RIGHT !!!! I totally relate. This is great. The more of these INFJ videos I see (I'm on a binge these last few days) the more I feel awake. Alive, excited, I'm not alone.
Hi, thank you for making this. It's cool to see another INFJs honest perspective - especially since you discovered your type somewhat recently. It's quite addicting to read/see people describe behaviors that I've had trouble defining my entire life. I want to start off by saying how much I LOVE your backyard! The plants, the decorations..ahh - so beautiful. As far as the music - have you ever heard of the term "musical frission"? It basically describes the physical reactions (goosebumps, tingling sensation in the spine, etc.) that occur when you hear a piece of music. I assume every type has experienced this sensation before, but perhaps us intuitive-types experience it on a deeper level/more often. It's a beautiful gift to be able to connect to music in such a way! I also listen to pieces over and over again to embrace that "special" moment in a song. Funny you mentioned Rage Against the Machine - one of my favorite musical "moments" from them is stuck in a song I really don't enjoy! It's in "Microphone Fiend" between 2:48 and 4:15. Sometimes I'll just replay that section over and over again because it's so damn satisfying! I find it interesting that you work a 9-5 job and do life coaching on the side. I just graduated college and am trying to figure out my path and life coaching is something I'd love to do - especially for teenagers in high school. I have so many questions about that but I don't feel like it's necessary to ask them in this comment! And depression groups - wow..how inspiring. I'd love to get involved with something like that, but I'm only 24 and am not sure how people would take to someone so young being a life coach/group leader. As far as leadership roles - YES! I completely agree! I'll adjust my role in a group to fill what's needed in the group. I think it's a big responsibility though - I'm more of a leader in the sense that my ideas are going to better the group/enhance the outcome. Not so much in sense that I can easily be authoritative and demanding with other people - I hate that. When you mentioned the second negative thing about being an INFJ, or over analyzing something after you've experienced it - I immediately though of the "Ni-Ti" loop. This is delving into the functions of the MBTI system so it's very hard for people unfamiliar with functions to understand. But if you want to hear how other INFJs have put this phenomenon into words/examples then check out this thread on Reddit. I found it very helpful in understanding my tendency to overthink things www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/3rkbjh/eli5_whats_the_niti_loop/ Idealizing parters - yes I struggle with this very much - to the point where I'm afraid it'll cause me to do something drastic that I'll regret down the road. Statistically, INFJs tend to be the most unhappy types in marriages :( Well I loved your video and am looking forward to hopefully seeing more! I related very much to each of the good/bad things you listed and know there are so many INFJs out there who would benefit from listening. Thanks again for sharing this with me!
Wow! Thanks for the response! It is pretty awesome just seeing other people out there who think and feel similarly. And thanks for loving my backyard. Hopefully it’ll survive this summer. I did just read a study about musical frission and it’s not INFJ specific apparently. However there are some personality types that won’t get musical frission. It has a lot to do with how open one is to new experiences. Most people get goosebumps and skin orgasms but I can sense a lot of those “feel good” hormones are being released into my body as well (dopamine, endorphins etc.). I didn’t get ‘the feels’ on that one part of the Rage song, but I can see how you might. I’ve noticed a good buildup in a song can send me over the edge. I’ve put only my favorite parts of songs on repeat too haha. The “Ni-Ti” loop thread was really insightful, thank you. I do fall victim to myself just living in my own head sometimes. I think some people who aren’t INFJ’s see that as being thoughtful and complex but when I get in that loop it is borderline brain torture that’s self-imposed. Not a fun place to be. So I’m a little hesitant to give out my personal email via youtube but you can contact me through my site if you like www.westcoast-wellness.com if you’d like to chat about life coaching and what NOT to do. I was really the king of figuring things out the hard way and I wish I had some better guidance right after college. Thanks for all the support and resources and hope to see more videos from you as well :)
I enjoyed your video & saw similarities so I figured I would comment on a few things you spoke about. 1 - You're the first person that has ever mentioned Outro by M83. I downloaded it when I heard it in the movie "The Fifth Estate". The scene where it's played feels very powerful because of the song. 2 - I am, and have been for 25 years, a HUGE fan of Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails. Hands down, he's my favorite artist ever. He writes all the music and it really is like poetry, even though most of it is painful. I have read that some people think Trent Reznor is INFJ. 3 - I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable in a leadership or management role for the single reason that I don't like telling people what to do. Perhaps that's why I never really got ahead in life, I'm always just keeping my head above water for as long as I can remember.
As a fellow INFJ I got your vibe the whole video!I could respond to each of your points to explain and expound but that would take pages and pages.Music! Yes! I'll explain that one. INFJs are attracted to art, poetry, novels, movies, and of course music.I became imprinted on music as an older child when I took guitar lessons. Later on, I took to rock, then new wave and punk. Most recently and luckily, I had an epiphany! I have dumped the older vintage stuff and 80's stuff and now love alternative rock and dancepop. As an INFJ this was wonderful as I was stuck in a void of not liking contemporary music which was fortuitous because as a music listener the old stuff would frequently remind me (an INFJ phenomenon...deja vu!) of negative past events such as tough times in school or broken relationships. Not until later did I realize that my guitar method books (Mel Bay) were peppered with blues scales. As you know blues was the foundation of early rock and roll and still my ear immediately catches the embedded "five-note blues riff" even in modern rock and country songs.I have had exposure to classical too as I played string bass in high school.Anyway. I have what is called "Ray's Grand Unifying Theory." In relation to music...music is composed of physical sound waves and have huge similarity to Columbia U.'s physicist Brian Greene and the 3-D vibrating "string theory" of the four fundamental forces of the universe (which are??). In a grand sense, everything, our bodies, our minds, WE...ARE MUSIC! Every nerve potential, every dream , every atom of every molecule of every tissue.The sound waves, picked up by the ears are transmitted from the inner ear cochlea then sent to the nucleus accumbens a part of the limbic system of the brain...the pleasure center...where the feel good chemical and neurotransmitter dopamine is secreted, reinforcing our attraction to music (relatedly, this is why many musicians fire up when jamming and composing as THC causes dopamine release in the brain...and music is said...ahem...so they tell me...to be 3X as enjoyable!).Evolutionary biologists postulate that our ears are genetically attuned to music as musical sounds (such as pharyngeal ululations and guttural sounds that can carry a great distance, or even yells) PRECEDED the arrival of language! The FIRST method of human to human communication. Also...the beat...the beat of music also recalls ("religious instinct") the pagan drum beat of the earliest tribal dance/trance religious ceremonies of ancient hunter gatherers! Additionally, young people like the fast driving vibrating beat of contemporary music because that sensation reminds of the excited (movement, rhythmic dance, sex) cardiovascular system (heart pounding and racing).Lastly, some musical riffs...Adele's music as a classic example, are filled with "appoggiaturas"...slightly dissonant notes at lyric ends that when resolved, cause sudden emotion and bring tears to the eyes.Here is one of my favorite pop songs from a while back but it is filled with emotion, lyrically and musically ("sad" minor chords and tear-jerking appoggiaturas) and even the video is a symbolic goldmine for INFJs! The song is by Philly area singer Christina Perri and her song, "Jar of Hearts (2010)." Note the dark post-apocalyptic (a breakup) smoke-filled streets of love's battlefield! Note the burnt rose petals/ash, the blood red parking space lines and the "Voldemort/dementor" effect.. th-cam.com/video/8v_4O44sfjM/w-d-xo.html I love learning song intros and hooks on my electric. All INFJs should learn to play a musical instrument...guitar(!)...so you are "in tune" with the expanse! DO IT! I'll save my newest favorite "hit" song for another post...genre "futurepop," as INFJs live in the future (the past, and present)." If anyone is interested. "Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway (from 'The City On the Edge of Forever')." Let me know.Excellent work, keep on. I love your citing an example from life to demonstrate each point. You speak in parables...did you know that?
Hey Ray! Thanks for the comment. I think you and I would get along really well in 'real life'. Thanks for the Jar of Hearts song, that song is quite beautiful. I'll wait for a breakup and start listening to that song more ;) Thanks also for mentioning deja vu. It's such a fascinating experience and I might talk more about it in another video. Thanks again, Brian
Media is a blessing in the sense it brought infjs together.we spent most of our lives feeling unique in the more isolated meaning of the word and it is just soul lifting to watch your video and see hear and feel myself in you. Your channel is the third infj channel I've looked at and we all have the same things to say...it's affirming. Thank you for your contribution. you took leadership within the infj community by posting your videos, because not many if us would. Thanks so much:)
when I was a small child my mother had an orchestral record album of wedding music. It was all performed by the Hollywood Bowl of Los Angeles CA. I can remember loving the beauty of the music and how it affected me so deeply. Some of the music was so sweet to me. especially the violins, that it would make me cry because I could feel it from deep within. When I shared with her why I was crying, she laughed at me. I knew she did not understand and I could care less but I still feel music on a deep level as a mature adult today....
People always tell me I look familiar! And ask me if I am a member of this place or go that place a lot! I didn't know that other INFJs had this experience. At first I thought it was just a cheesy pick up line. Lol. But it happens too often with people who wouldn't be in the category of wanting to be in a romantic relationship. Parts of songs, certain lyrics seem to come straight out of my soul, it changes over the years depending on what I'm going through. I'm not surprised you are so interested in other INFJ videos. INFJ males are the rarest of all the MBTI, so you probably haven't met another one in real life. You are more comfortable in your skin than the INFJ males I have observed online (and the one I knew in real life. I actually showed him about the type and he had always just thought he was different than everyone else). I also have people open up to me about very personal matters and usually fairly fast when I meet them. This happening so often lead me to go back to school (I was a social worker for a few years after college), I went to grad school for mental health counseling bc I thought it would be something I might be naturally good at. With the girl you mentioned to had a crush on you that's actually called transference in counseling. She was projecting the positive feelings she got in your group on to you as an individual. It's a common problem in mental health counseling. The backyard you are filming in is very beautiful! I also get deep into self analysis. Which is good to a point, but can become a negative, like you said. So thanks for the video! I subscribed to your channel. You are the first INFJ guy I have found on TH-cam whose videos I really relate to. Keep up the good work! 💜☮️💟
It's so interesting you mention this. I have this happen ALL the time! I'm actually quite terrible with remembering names, but I will NEVER forget a face. So when someone mentions that I look familiar, I often think there was something else. Hearing other INFS run into this a lot is so bizzare though.
I just stumbled across this INFJ thing within the last month. I have struggled with my uniqueness my entire life, never feeling like I fit anywhere. I have never taken the Myers Briggs, but I relate to everything you and others have said about the INFJ personality. I was just thinking last week about doing some life coaching, but I'm concerned because I feel so deeply, I dwell on other's issues too much and worry about them. I am twice your age and I feel things even more deeply than ever. I am finally discovering that I am not the unique freak that I believed I was. Everything you said and the way you said it was me! I wish I could meet you or someone like us in person and have a deep discussion about what this is all about. I am just glad that I am not alone with this. We could use a forum where we could more privately share our thoughts and feelings (youtube seems too public if you know what I mean).
Agree completely, always felt "different" it's nice to know their are people in the world similar to my normal way of being. That it's not strange, just another way of being. There's comfort in that :) Thank you for sharing!! Btw-I thought it was awesome how spoke of feeling music. Made me smile and brought me back to when I started dance at 14. My teacher asked me how it was possible that I was always in perfect time when I couldn't count music.. to me I couldn't be bothered to count when it felt so natural and instinctive to move with the music as I became it... like riding a wave only it moves through u and every cell in your being lights up.
As a fellow INFJ I agree with your insights. On the music yes I find it communicates directly with my soul be that a happy or sad feeling and you’re right it can just be a note or melody. I listen to a wide range of genres. The theme to Schindler’s list moves me so much that I feel the sadness, pain, suffering and at the same time the beauty in the music and I get tearful. On loving deeply yes I can get totally obsessed with certain people and fantasise about them and well enough said. Great to hear from you and sending you love and peace. Thanks
I LIKE that description.."an overwhelming ecstasy". TRUE here too. It's like I go into a trance almost and time stops, my focus goes inward and I really can throw myself into it and I MUST dance or move to it! It's almost sexual. The performer in me usually hidden just wants to shine!!
Thank you for posting this video because I found it refreshingly honest and without a hidden motive besides the search for truth and sincere expression. Sometimes I feel very alone as an INFJ and with a unique perspective. Thank you for expressing many of my own thoughts.
I can't believe how you describe me with such accuracy. Until very recently i discovered i was like this. ALl my life i knew i was so different, felt so different, always caring more about others than myself. I hate to see the lack of balance and injustice of the world and that just scares and enrages me. I coulnd't agree more about all that you said, specially the music part. I love M83, and btw thank you for that other song Grace, which i didnt know. I just love how music makes me feel, and i think it is mostly because i can't feel this authentic with nobody else. It is as you said we easilty make friends, but never in a way we wanted it to be, because we have such high standards of how life should be. And this scares me as i am so young and feel so alone. In my 22 yeas of life i have striving for helping others find their purpose, and often feel used, as i give so much and get so little. I'm kind of the glue in most social groups, as i get people together and often get those leadership roles, don't really know why, but everytime people point at me to become their leader and lead them, which scares the heck out of me, beacuse i feel so much pressure. Anyway thank you for your testemony, it helped me realize i'm not alone with this thoughts. P:S: One of my favourite things to do is just lie in bed, all dark, put some music, instrumental mostly (such as m83), and just feel. Nothing else, not thinking, not singing. Just listen and feel the music. Then my mind often wonders to the meaning of life, and i feel alive.
I feel like you just summed up who I am. I'm the same with music, and also live dancing. It affects me so intensely. There's such a flood of emotion that happens.
INFJ here. What you said about music was interesting, and I could really relate to what you were saying (and judging by the comments so did other INFJs). Music has always been really powerful for me and I can really feel it moving me in a way similar to what you were describing. One song that has always 'got me' like this is the song "I'll be OK" by Nothing More. I would be interested in hearing other songs that do this too and I am sure to give them a listen. Keep making videos, they are very interesting!
You're the first person that I've heard describe being able to feel music, other than myself. I've had people ask me about that since I can remember and couldn't explain it other than I could feel the music. So it's an INFJ thing, haha, good to know. :-D
I feel the music too. Sometimes it moves me to dance, and I do... sometimes it really just stops me dead in my tracks. I'm glad he mentioned the music thing too. I thought I was the only one.
Haha, I thought I was the only one too. Most of the times where people asked me that was back in the dance club days. It was just so easy to get lost in it, I couldn't see how they couldn't do it.
Hi Brian! I am an INFJ. I have experienced the same uphoria with music, during certain parts or aspects of the music, as far back as I can remember as a young child. I loved opera and now as a Christian, have a more intense experience/sensation with gospel/Christian music. I believe, it is an ability to feel/connect with the intention of the music. I could not imagine living without this!
That feeling of wonder in music will only be amplified as you grow in your knowledge of theology, and then eventually you'll be able to feel that wonder and overwhelming sense of awe and then of being loved so overwhelmingly and wholly at most any time within your inner person through prayer. Be constant in prayer! It's God's desire to pour grace upon grace upon us, but we must position ourself under the waterfall of His grace and it will come 😊 Grce&Pce!
I love this video. Thanks for sharing! It's nice to know that there are people out there that truly get me. Rare in our world. *waves hi to all the INFJs*
ENFP here and I absolutely relate to what you said about "feeling music", on a deeper level than most. So much so that certain songs I cannot listen to because of the reaction I get when I hear it. Very interesting you mention this!
I enjoy watching the INFJ videos too, and also am relieved to know there are others who have this challenging psyche. I learn a lot of strategies to employ in dealing with my INFJness from fellow INFJs. Thanks for posting.
Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjackpot!!! Loved the your message Brian! I'm a song "skipper"...it drives my friends nuts...hahahaha!!! I only like parts of songs and it's rare that I listen to a song the entire way through, but I love music, love to dance, and enjoy the energy it puts into me! One of my favorite things to do is roadtrip with my favorite tunes! I'm still new to the INFJ awakening...for years I felt just like you, the oddball, like no one understood, an outcast, different, awkward and the guilt of feeling like I could never be my full self around people was something that bothered me. Always having to wear a mask, especially at work! But now I'm beginning to understand. It is exciting to finally find answers to all of my questions. Great video, thank you for sharing...best wishes on your journey!!
Definitely get the familiarity thing a lot. It’s quite funny 😆 being a mini celeb or an old soul. I’d agree that I also feel music deeply... I can especially appreciate instrumental music. I love to dance 💃🏻 and so I appreciate music that makes me move. We are definitely secret keepers however I tend to let the secret go not long after. I’m a vault because the secret never moves from short term memory to long term so people can be rest assured that we won’t remember it to retell it. The cool 😎 thing about INFJs is we are not only leaders inadvertently but also counselors/therapists/beacons of light. This makes us pretty well attuned to people, their motivations, their inner conflicts, wants and needs. This also means that sometimes what the person needs to know to grow is not always prepared in their life journey to hear the truth. I appreciate you pointing out the physical and emotional draining of people spilling into us. It’s almost as if we are constantly being challenged to flex our boundary/self preservation muscles 💪🏼 as we try to help. I’d add that INFJs are quite resourceful and self-policing. I agree with a lot of the points you made! Great video and insight.
Yes yes and yes I can definitely relate to you and music !!!! I also "feel" music on every level. Its so awesome to hear someone else say this ! Thank you for your video. I relate to everything you have said. Its so good to know that there are other people like me in the world!!!!!
hahaha man I died when you mentioned Celine Dion 's O Holy Night... the part where she sings "fall on your knees.." always gets me.. its almost like a prelude to a damn orgasym
I just watched your video as I just recently took the Myers-Briggs test and found out I am also a INFJ. In your video, you talked about music and feeling it. I also have always thought that of myself, and tell people that when I dance to music the music dictates the movements, and I usually get weird looks. However what you are referring to I believe is EMOTION we feel emotion intensely and when whomever is singing or playing the music, if they are intense with their emotions we can feel it and overtakes our emotions. I have also really enjoyed watching peoples INFJ videos.
Firstly you aren't alone. I can't speak for all INFJs but in my experience I do feel an intense emotion while listening to some songs. However for me it's not only music, this happens with movies, tv shows or even someone just talking. It's almost as if in the moment the artist is bleeding their emotion into the piece and I can absorb it in a sense. I reconcile that by recognizing it's not necessarily my emotions I'm feeling. It's a part of them. It's like seeing the real them, if only for a brief moment. With that being said I don't ask myself what or why I'm feeling a certain way but what or how the artist was feeling. It can get confusing at times deciphering my own emotions from that of other people. The leadership role dilemma is pretty spot on. I don't want to be a leader but I feel sometimes people need to be led and I can do that. It's a strange dynamic, a bit hard to explain. Thank you for sharing.
So i took the test a couple of days ago and lo and behold, i am INFJ. Now im "obsessed" with finding more info and stumbled upon your videos. I can really relate to what you say.....regarding the music especially and definitely the loving hard part. When im listening to music i turn it into my own music video with choreography lol lots of dancing in my head. Anyway, great video! 👍
I agree with everything, particularly the music part. When I hear a song that I connect to (regardless of genre) I can get goosebumps, I might cry, and I kind of go into a trance where the music is the only thing that I'm focused on and I can relate so many abstract concepts to it, without thinking, but rather FEELING them. It's very intense. An INFJ problem that I wonder about often involves our desire for harmony within a group and our intuitive understanding of other people. Sometimes, when I first meet people, I am very easygoing and polite and I show them whatever part of myself I know they will like. I wear many masks to please other people, and it's not like I'm fabricating these personas, but I am showcasing only the parts of my personality that will appeal to them. I know what they desire from another person because I can sense what is lacking in their lives or what they need to reach their full potential. As a result, people who are not INFJ's might think that we are very close friends and act like they understand me and they want to monopolize me, when in reality it takes me years to consider someone as a friend. I also want a lot of time to myself, being an introvert. When someone starts to act like they understand me and I owe them a lot of my time before I am emotionally invested in them as a friend, I might feel like they're trying to control me or I might be put off. Simultaneously, I understand WHY they are acting that way and I blame myself for being overly-accommodating. I get angry at myself for being put off by their overly familiar behavior when I helped foster that feeling. I might even feel like a fake, even though I never lied to them. It's a conflict between wanting to make people happy and understand them, but also wanting to be private.
INFP here. Male INFPs are fairly rare. The way you are about ideas I am about values and authenticity. If I had a dime for every person who thought they’d met me before...what is that? Music is the highest art...it’s the least verbal. Aural ideas go deeper into the brain than images or words, according to Oliver Sachs’ final book. It’s like painting with emotions. In the ancient world it was initially a healing art. Paradox: I’m very guarded and private despite being very enquiring after everyone I meet. Getting me to tell you what’s really going on inside is hard on me, however, put me in a group and I will find the moral center of that group, whatever it is trying to achieve and I will lead the group there, whether or not I’m the nominal leader, which completely baffles me every time it happens. I will love to the point of selflessness and not in a healthy way often. I see the best in the worst people, their value or ideal, and have a rough time setting boundaries. I I.D. with you very much and once thought I was INFJ but I’ve since tested INFP often. Good luck my rare brother, take very good care of yourself and thanks for opening up.
I felt really calm listening to you talk, and what's so interesting (despite knowing we have this ability) is the moments I understood you most is when you were trying to articulate some of your thoughts. piggybacking of something you mentioned, I feel like with music it is an affinity for the melody and lyrics that is most closest to our emotions. Much like the music in movies that tells you a scary scene is moments away. It's the same for us with music; but instead of illiciting an emotion or energy it compliments it.
You mentioned about hiding the fact that we have advice that could help others, but so many times my advice has been blown off as if it was just hot air or they get defensive so that I am apprehesive to do it anymore. Sad for others and me, because, yes, I have to stifle who I really am to keep the peace and not feel like I am just ignored.
You sound just like me 5 weeks ago, when I discovered I'm INFJ. I've only just had to you in the last 5 minutes. just had to say in regards to music. I play music in a band have done for years, so I'm musically minded. I really relate to you on hear things in music. I'm harmony orientated. It doesn't have to be the lyrics, just the chord progressio can really affect me. I feel the emotion in a vocal at on a certain lyric. If I'm right in the moment at eye shed a tear easily. Can really mess with me. i love it. Everything you are saying is resonating with me. Thanks for share, helps me a lot
Well thats great what i observed about INFJ is when they talk people listen and whats wwird about it people will feel because when they talk u can tell thats coming from their heart not from their mind so you will feel it true ,youre very lucky to have that gift......
hi, another INFJ here. you made a very accurate video about our type! as i was reading the comments, i realized i must say something about this leadership-thing, what i always felt is that i'd like to be a "commander" near a king. Not the king, or the leader, but I would support someone with all my resources who is a true leader of a good cause and has developed integrity. All fellow INFJ-s i've seen and listened to through their videos, were sympathetic. And i was always smilng, thinking: "Hello my friend, i don't know you but I understand a piece of you deeply".
That's the key phrase there: developed integrity. It's really hard for me (and us) to put our effort and love and devotion into things and people that aren't moral and ethical. Glad you can relate :)
I feel that. I'd like to be an advisor to the king as well-kind of like Samuel to David, or Daniel to the king of Babylon. Prophet of truth/cupbearer to the king. To be able to counsel those of wisdom and knowledge and the power of how to make the changes that need to be made-this seems best to me-being greatly trusted as wise in what is right. I'm not a leader, at least not in that administrative/CEO/Commander-in-chief kind of sense. But I do have a lot of knowledge that I would like to inform the decisions of leaders.
And therein I might be able to change the world :) Anyone else feel this? (Eventually though, we might find that we have to step up and lead ourselves, if there is no one else, and then maybe we can delegate.)
I feel the music thing too!!! it's so weird because I do alot of self analysis afterwards also. I don't have a remedy. I usually just think it out until I'm satisfied. I'm an infj also btw!
This is the first time I've seen someone so much like me, except for the music part. Thank you for sharing so much, even the little awkwardnesses, where so much INFJ shows through.
I experience the same thing with some music. It's like the music is playing me. I get into a blissful melancholic state for a while. Yes, it occurs among a wide variety of styles, but will not occur with certain styles also.
I'm an INFJ as well & totally relate to Artists like M83. I really love to listen to Spatial & electronic synth music. Artists like Ulrich Schnauss, M83, Tycho, FM Attack are on repeat on my playlist. I also connect with people on an intimate level and far & few but deep relationships with people. You got it spot on about INFJ's falling in Love. I still struggle to let go of my ex and thoughts from the past linger every now & then.
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Knowing we aren’t alone is such a relief. Then its about trying to figure out what to do with “it”. Thanks for sharing!
Love this video. I'm the same way and I can relate to the music thing. The number one song that gets me every time is Ludovico Einaudi's Life. It's everything. I hope to see more videos from you. :)
Wow, great video! I hope you share more. You described the INFJ experience very well, especially the part about the music, and the fact that there is no one genre that creates that healing emotional response. I can get an emotional response within me (hard to describe, I know), but it's like a cleansing release wave, letting go of bottled up emotions, and it feels really good. The funny thing, is I can get this emotional response from everything from Sesame Street to Pink Floyd. There are certain lyrics, certain notes, certain ways that a singer even sings one phrase with deep emotion, that will cause this response. Until I found the INFJ community, I never realized it was something that other people experienced.
Everything from Sesame Street to Pink Floyd! Yup, I get it haha. There's a guitar solo in Comfortably Numb that I have to play over and over again every time I hear it.
Wow. I’ve never heard anyone mention the music phenomenon before. I’ve always been drawn to music and can literally feel it. It’s weird. And the leadership bit? That’s been my whole life. Being involuntarily voted into things or pushed to lead projects and being burnt out but finding it a moral obligation not one for status climbing. Great video. Everything was on point. 👌🏽
Wow! Felt the same thing with that Celine Dion O Holy Night (and often pieces of other songs, too). But I would have labeled it more euphoria than ecstasy because I view the latter as more physical and, while there's definitely a physical element to the impact (like tingles?), it's more strongly emotional/mental for me. And totally relate to everything else you are saying, too
Yeah, I agree about the necessity for more INFJs in leadership roles, they most often assess a situation very thoughtfully and not just reactionally, and they often have a deep understanding of human beings and situations that could be incredibly useful in many different areas of leadership.
Hi Brian, I really enjoyed watching your video. I recently discovered that I have an INFJ personality type by taking the test. It's so amazing how now understand a lot of my behaviors and why I'm alone a lot. I have battled codependency also and I think that many of this personality type can fall into this trap easily. I do have a very high intuition to the point of what some might call psychic though it seems to be out of my control. I seem to have many acquaintances on a surface level, but very few individuals with whom I share a deep connection. I also certainly agree with you about the empathic ability. I get extremely drained when talking to and dealing with people as they feel the need to dump all of their emotional stuff on me. It seems as if it just naturally happens all of the time and I become so depleted. Its the worst feeling. I find that I often have to detach by just sitting in a quiet room alone with no sound. Also it helps when I go out in nature and meditate.
Everything you're saying is spot on Milton. When you figured out you were an INFJ, did you have that "Aha!" moment where things in your past just made a lot more sense?
+Brian Schultz Yeah a lot of things made sense. Through counseling ,I've been studying a lot about codependency. With the INJF personality and the codependent traits, it exactly describes me.
Everyone...gives me their secrets. I've had so many people crying on my shoulder and admitting things they've never told anyone else within hours of meeting me. I am definitely apprehensive about taking on the leadership roles. I know I have to ability to be successful in the role, but I'm not terribly fond of the spotlight. Though I don't like confrontation, I find it difficult to not lend that advice to a person I know I can help. It's not always advice so much as making people aware of what's motivating them to act in a certain way. It's hard not to idealize our partners because we see potential not only for the relationship but also for the potential of our partner/friends. You should definitely take time to recharge when talking about other people's problems. INFJ empathy is beyond the comprehension of most people because we seem to take on the pain of the person. I think INFJs would likely make better advisers than leaders. We tend to be too idealistic and always want the role to have meaning.
Your video and Tom Davison's vids ... love them, I totally relate. Especially the stepping up when needed but don't love it and people choosing to share things they haven't with others.
I love listening to other INFJ's post videos because I can relate so much! (Like when you were talking about being able to "feel" music, that happens to all the time but I didn't even know how to put it into words, or even knew that was a thing other people felt until you talked about it.) Plus I feel like since INFJ's are fairly uncommon, that tends to come with the feeling of being misunderstood and alone so the fact that you're talking about INFJ related things makes me feel not so alone in sense. So thank you for making videos, you should definitely make more! :)
Thanks Brooke. I'm currently hiding in my INFJ cave waiting for all the crazy stuff happening in the news to pass over. Then I'll resurface haha. Have a great day!
I'm an INTP and I can "feel" music too. I think it's because, as an INTP, feelings don't come too naturally for us, therefore music becomes our feelings-if that makes any sense. In short, music just helps me experience those feelings that I don't normally have.
I want to add a weakness. My bf is an intj. I think one of infj's weaknesses is the ability to articulate. An infj brain is like a tree with countless branches. When I try to present or explain something I have tons of info I want to share that I end up saying things that are unnecessary. It's like tons of info wanting to come out in a rush at the same time. Do you experience that? An intj can give fewer points and their ideas come across\s faster and easier. That is one thing I am working on, because if we want to be great communicators, we need to express ourselves more effectively.
The ability to articulate my thoughts verbally, and yes I couldn't agree more. I always feel stupid trying to explain something verbally because whatever is in my head can't seem to find its way out the way I want it to, or I just end up rambling. I too feel like I have a lot of thoughts floating around in my mind at the same time and that certainly doesn't help when trying to communicate orally.
I absolutely feel like that inability is a huge flaw of being INFJ and I'm not really sure what to do about it. I try to communicate through writing whenever it's possible because of how much easier it is. It lets me think everything through before I put it out there. That isn't to say the rambling part is non-existent because it really depends on the nature of the conversation. If it's deep and reflective for instance, I can just go on and on about the different ideas I have on the subject.
However I'm only turning 18 this month and it was just recently I learned that my type or the type I'm closest to is INFJ so I haven't had much experience exploring it and its different aspects. I'd love to find another INFJ and discuss similarities and differences!
Erin Inquire this is interesting.
I am an INFP. My sister is an ISTJ, and my ex is an INTJ. Both have told me i tend to include too much detail and go off on a tangent when trying to explain one thing. I just feel that whatever extra info i include helps created a more-well rounded picture to help the receiver better understand the story or situation. Maybe it is the FP and TJ conflict. Idk.
The way I explained it to an INTJ is - it is because INFJs see and understand more. For me to go on many details, is like going through a maze and actually see what is happening real time - even if there are a thousand things happening, I can articulate them for you - IF you will learn to be patient in listening. Sounds familiar? :)
I see it as very visual and complex and general. Very much like smoke and mirrors, a painting, writing, lot of imagination floating around... :) Yeah, I have that articulation thing, I thought it was inherited just the way of processing haha
Erin Inquire Yes, I like the tree analogy. Sometimes I feel like my head is full of useless trivia, but I can pull it up when it is useful. When I try to explain something to another person, I tend to tell a story because I want them to really understand all the facets. They try to cut me off and interrupt. If they listen to the whole thing, they will say "OK, so basically you mean this: ................................... then they will say one sentence. They can summarize it, but it doesn't have the details and the flavor and the emotion. It's like a rice cake. But it is as if I am incapable of doing that myself, I HAVE to tell the story.
My ex husband used to make me tell him what happened in a movie if I had watched it and he had missed it. I didn't like it, because it took me forever to describe the movie to him. Every scene important to the plot, every bit of dialogue between characters, every explosion and car chase, all of it. Took about a half hour. Then months later he would tell me that he had watched that movie, and at first he though he had deja vu and had already seen it, then he would remember I had described it to him.
See? I can't even leave a short comment.
I agree with the music thing. I also tend to obsess over songs, artists, and albums. I can spend like weeks or even months listening to the same artist or album. I guess I just become so fascinated that I keep listening to know every detail of the music. After a few weeks or months I'll dump it and change to a different one. Anyone relate to that?
Yes! I completely agree. Totally me.
Same there, most with music than other type of art
right now im on a nirvana binge. its been 3 weeks straight haha
YES.
yessss
Yes, INFJ euphoria is a thing. All the time, especially as a Christian, I think it's so easy to get to that place of connecting with God, or bigger things... spirits of the ages, of nations, of people. Concepts can be felt, their energies grasped and experienced, as well as understood. This is a lot of the joy of life for me.
Mostly, though, the greatest of joys is in experiencing God. If you haven't already, I would strongly recommend reading the book “Desiring God” by John Piper. A very good read. Also, the Church Fathers are not to be neglected even seeing how old and ancient they are. Saint Augustine in his “Confessions” is great, and so relatable, and so deep. Oh, and even though it's in the Bible, Ecclesiastes is some serious Ti. And 1 John is great. (I'd read the book of John after that.) And then Romans if you're still benefitting.
There is no concept loftier, nor energies more satisfying or overwhelming than that which may be experienced in resonance with the Spirit of the Triune God, to have Him sing within your spirit, granting you peace and purpose, meaning and life-I mean ζωή (spiritual life) not namely βίος (which is of matter and the things which might be physically touched that are alive) in this, in the sense of ζωή, life is abundant in Him. I'd strongly recommending tasting of Him before dismissing Him and the life and some of the many dimensions of “energy” that is within Him, if you haven't already. He is good-a close Father, a most intimate of friends, even as He is a guiding Spirit. He truly is of dimensions beyond us, possessing all previous dimensions-including sentience, albeit in more dimensions than I can grasp. Because of this, one never goes bored of knowing, and spending time with, and learning about-and experiencing-this One
You know, though, I did hear also, that when He took on humanity-a mortal body, which now has blossomed into immortality-He took on our own personality, the personality of the INFJ. Though in this-that the Christ was, and perhaps still is, an INFJ-I am not entirely sure or confident, though I suppose it is possible that such could be the case. In learning more about this God, it is likely that the one may learn more about oneself than previously known or experienced, even in the experiencing of the Divine. In losing ourselves to Him, we find ourselves. It is a strange thing to consider, but I've found it indeed to be true.
Don't know if you're a Christian or not... (though from what you've said and the way you are I think you could be?) What I've said still stands as shared and I think it could still be really interesting regardless. :-)
Relatable if you're a Christian, if you're not, maybe a new thing to look into? Though I bet you already have if you're anything like me. Though there's always more. Trust me in that. (Though I'm sure you already know.)
Regardless, keep on keeping on! You've got a great heart!
I know INFJs mean well when they say Jesus was an INFJ, but the honest truth is that He wasn't.
God is like the human body in that He is the whole source, but we humans make up the individual parts within the body and are interdependent upon one another. Likewise, God's attributes can easily be seen in every personality type, as He is the whole body, and we are just the parts.
So yes, INFJs have attributes of Jesus, but so does the ST, SF, NT personality type. I say this as an INFJ. :-)
Sorry that's all so long! It'll take a while to process through, and will also take at least 30 minutes to listen to the bit of the C.S. Lewis audiobook, not including maybe also reading or listening to Saint Athanatius's work “On the Incarnation”, and then more research might be required as well on the Theology of the Incarnation and the early Church Councils concerning Christology. (But if you're faithful to look into all of these things, you will emerge from it all much stronger and much greater in knowledge and faith.)
This is your challenge, sister in Christ and person of the same personality and friend, should you choose to accept ;)
This guy is so INFJ. INFJ me relates... friendly acquaintances easily yes, music ecstacy yes, fall in love deeply yes (have a hard time finding a partner that can feel the same because of this), people open up to me easily (except INFJs lol) , leadership obligations but hesitant yes. I could go on but ..agreed, agreed on all..oh my gosh yes..
Desiree Zeller How he speaks or just talks in general...that's INFJ-y as fuck. Also...it's me as fuck.
The Good
1. Ability to adapt relational
a. (warm, friendly, familiar)
2. Ability to feel music
a. (overwhelming release of ecstasy )
3. Able to Love Extremely Deeply
a. Sometimes envy otters that are able to
4. Good Judger of Character
a. r "connection, understand, articulate what you're going through better than you can yourself"
5. Reluctant Leader able to fill the vacuum
a. "caution some will value my position, authority, power over o
The Challenging
1. Withhold our ideals To avoid Conflict
a. Under the surface of are likability
b. feel like we are faking it socially and struggle to fell authentic because )
c. Action Plan: Pick and choose my battle, expect conflict 70-80% of the time in my relationship, see conflict as a necessary pathway to lasting growth, intimacy and peace
2. Second Guess Ourselves
a. Learning to embrace what I don't know and take the time of joy, happiness and ecstasy and let it be
3. Tend to "Idealize" our significant others denying reality
a. My partner is human and has flaws
b. My projection of who I want others to be is not real, fair and
4. Absorbed People psychic Garbage (cofessions of secrets, hurts, hang-ups)
a. Remember it's not good to take on other people's burdens enabling them , its unhealthy, stressful and harmful for use
b. Set the boundaries up front "Meet me for coffee from 5-6pm Monday"
c. Recognize the individuals that have a pattern of dumping and put a system in place to put your self-care and well being ahead of their hurting. (hurt people, hurt people)
5. We Avoid Leadership , When the world around us need Us most
a. The stakes are high, many leaders today lack ability to make quality choices and perspective…but I avoid it
b. INFJ know the world would value and largely benefit from what we have to offer in the political, social, intellectual and spiritual landscape.
I'm an INFJ and completely relate to your response to music. It doesn't happen very often but more so with certain songs. Kinda like goosebumps or hair raising up. It's cool that I'm not the only one.
That's awesome Scott. Any particular songs that do this to you?
+Brian Schultz two songs by Jars of Clay get me every time. "Work" and "Dead Man (Carry Me)"
My favorite Christian singer is Jon Foreman, you should check out some of his stuff! Check out "Waste" by Seether as well.
+Brian Schultz Switchfoot is awesome and so is Jon's solo stuff!
Happens to me with an instrumental combination itself and/or the sound of a singer’s voice- never the lyrics.
From my own observation of my self and other Infjs is that since infjs are often misunderstood they tend to have beliefs that something is wrong with them and so they develop a sort of inferiority complex but then when they find out that they really are infj they develop a sort of superiority complex over other personality types to make up for that feeling of inferiority. I get the happiness in finally figuring out there's nothing wrong with us (or anyone actually) and that were special, but see everyone is special in their own way. No one is better or lesser than others. I'd say this is a common trap for all people and especially injs to fall into. Thinking that were inferior and then thinking were actually special compared to others is a defense mechanism which totally isn't personal. And this weakness can become a strength because when we are honest with ourselves and work on this dynamic (for those who have it) well have something else to empathize with people :)
INFJ here. You're on point with my personal experiences 100% across the board. I know most people don't have the patience to wait for our thoughts and ideas to "fully bake" (for lack of better terminology), but we do have a wisdom that's hard to come by for most due to the depth to which we understand a subject. We sometimes get in our own way in situations because of our Blindspot being our understanding of ourselves or our capabilities, or both at times. It's great to see and hear from another INFJ no matter the topic. Thanks for the video!
Love it. I'm also INFJ-Highly sensitive and introverted. It's amazing finding other like-minded people :)
Yeah, things like that porn-joke opener... Those who aren't INFJs have absolutely NO idea how bizarre the inner-workings of our minds are, to the point that some might even be afraid to tread around in our heads. We are capable of such beauty and light, and such strange, dark deviance... Also, we're much funnier than we're given credit for. ;)
Brian, my suggestion is for you to consider making a video about INFJs and competent leadership, so sorely lacking in our country, and how reserved or reluctant INFJs can harness their enormous hidden potential to learn to step forward into leadership positions. I have found there are many available good leadership seminars and books that can be very helpful. INFJ, be all you can be! The world awaits you.
i think people disclose alot to infjs because they know that we have compassion for people and we dont have judgmental views towards people.
Are not INFJs judgmental? I read several times that they are quite known for being judgmental. Either for self preservation (scan to see if the person fits their structure moral values, .... ) and also for high standards they have (on themselves and also others.. ). Their strong value system often means they can be rather judgmental of others. What I read, INFJs are usually tolerant but can find it difficult to accept people they see as superficial, fake or insincere. INFJs often say they like observing people from a distance before deciding whether they want to get to know them better. But what does observing people and "conclusion" about them mean ? Not that they are judgmental ? Not sure here. I do not see "tolerant" and "judgmental" as opposite words. Are they?
We aren't judgemental but we have the ability to make snap judgements of situations, motives, or intentions. Our feelers are a curse and a blessing!
I totally agree with feeling the mood of music. I feel the highs and low, the happiness and sadness of music very deeply. I think everything we experience is spiritual. We feel everything deeply. Not that all the other personality types don't but I know we INFJ's do.
Keep on feelin' Marc :)
yea definitely feel music deeply.. but it can get hard to enjoy those moments when there happens to be someone witnessing the "ecstasy" moments of musical bliss.. without them thinking you're an absolute basket case:p .. I was driving a co-worker home awhile ago when the song -the air that I breath by the hollies, came on and within a minute I just broke down and had to pullover - just to get my emotions/torrential downpour of tears under control... aghhh INFJ awkwardness - It never ends:/ lol
Actually I just found that I am INFP. I wasn't sure if I was INFJ or INFP. So with that said this must be true for INFP also. I would like to add that I don't pay much attention to lyrics. It all about the mood of the music for me. I'll pay more attention to how the lyrics are expressed as suppose to what the vocalist is conveying.
I love what you said about seeing other personality types being able to hop from one relationship to the other, and still be in "love" every time, all over again. I spent about 2 years asking myself if I was certifiably crazy, watching EVERYONE do this sort of moving on, while I was still writing poems about love, seeing it all over my world, and just feeling like it would never vanish.
Hi. Fellow infj lurker here. Part of my reluctance to lead is due to how complicated interactions can be. I can sometimes influence people with chicanery - influencing their decisions in a way that makes them think it's their idea. This talent seems useful, but multiply it by the habit of overamalyzing and there isn't enough time in the day for thinking through all the possibilities. I am more comfortable as a facilitator or guide because I'm removed from the process that way.
i just found out I'm an ENFP and while researching, i kept seeing over and over again how the ENFP and the INFJ are extremely compatible.... basically all the videos I've come across have told me that i need an INFJ in my life! haha so naturally i became curious like hmm i wonder what an INFJ is like? because i dont know whether or not I've ever come across one before.. so i did what any creature of curiousity would do and looked up the INFJ type and you popped up... now after watching you, i can soooooo easily see what they were talking about.. I can so easily see myself just listening to you speak for hours and hours and never growing tired of you haha.. PS The Giver is one of my favorite books
Jessica Arana I know it's been a year since you last wrote your comment here, but I just wanted to say my current gf is enfp and even though the relationship is still new, we have hit it off wonderfully. Also it was just recently that she took the test. We found each other and knew it was love before knowing she was enfp.
Hope you are well. I'm sure an infj would be a great match for you. Good luck, we are a rare bunch. :)
Watching this video was like listening to my own mind. You're so similar to me that it's scary! As an INFJ, I completely understand and can relate to everything you said. The response to music thing is so true. When I'm listening to music, I tend to feel like I'm not on this planet. As you said, it's hard to explain. It's like I feel the music so deep, physically, in my heart and soul, that it becomes part of me and moulds my feelings/emotions. A song that does this to me is 'With or Without You' by U2. I'm also very hesitant in regards to leadership positions. I'd rather work in the background, quietly doing my thing. I don't want the responsibility that leadership brings. Like you, people seem to tell me things they haven't told anyone else. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone in this - I so often feel disconnected and different.
I love your videos ^^ Watching you is very relaxing. I also have never seen an INFJ man before. I've been wondering a lot lately, how much of the "INFJ" traits are really specific to INFJs, or are just the way people are in general. Like, I've honestly never thought about it until you said it, but the music thing is SOOOOO true. It especially happens when I dance. And have sex. I literally get caught up and feel this sense that I am in heaven - literally. Haha. But I would have just expected that was common to everyone. I mean, everyone loves music and dancing and sex right? Random thoughts.
Idealizing partners. It's cruel to put anyone on a pedestal because the person will eventually and inevitably fall from it. One thing I've tried - and I think this has really helped - is to stop forcing our love to meet my ideal, and, instead, bring my ideal to meet our love. I have found that this isn't much like "settling" after all because, once I put it into practice, it has been enriching and liberating. So far, so good anyway. :) I like this approach because I want to marry my vision with reality, and this fits with that goal. Also, it enables me to see many good things I was blind to when I was pining after an unrealistic ideal in this area.
That's great advice Chandra. You mind me asking how many years it took for you to figure this out? I know it's kind of personal and you don't have to answer on youtube haha.
We've been married 14 years, and that revelation was somewhat recent in its more refined form, but it's actually part of an ongoing process that started three years ago. I told my husband that I don't ask for perfection, but that I do ask for growth - both as individuals and as a couple. Always. As in never ending growth throughout life. For some, this is apparently a high demand, but he is fine with this. (He tests INTJ, and I've yet to see him shy from anything challenging in life.) The problem arises when we try to force our way of being onto each other. I can't force an NT into an NF ideal way of being, and he can't force an NF into an NT way of being. But we both have needs that need to be met in the relationship, so we work toward understanding each other constantly. It's not always easy, but, because I have proof of serious progress over the years, I feel we're on the right track.
(sorry I put that reply in the wrong spot the first time) :)
That's what is great about MBTI. It allows us to better understand our own weakness and strengths as well as our partners. But I think the key word is 'understanding' here. It does get rough when we want someone to change for the better and they won't. At the same time they might be having the same issue with us. I'm glad you've been working at your relationship for 14 years! That's awesome!
I've watched all of your videos, and I will probably watch them all again. Out of many self-proclaimed INFJ's here on TH-cam, you are the only one who... makes me feel as if I'm watching myself making a video. All of your mannerisms, and train of thought are VERY "infj" in my opinion. There's kind of a softness yet dynamic quality to your speech, and also the impression (as a viewer) that your thoughts are surfacing from a giant sea of subconscious-- which is just screaming introverted intuition (with harmony as the carrier). Anyway man, I wish you would make more videos! Regardless of their "subject", whatever you have to say will undoubtedly be a pleasure to your viewers. So, carry on, and take care. (And post more damn videos lol) :)
I'm an INFJ pastor, I have been blessed with the gift of playing piano and organ. I also sing. And yes, I feel music so deeply that it annoys me when others in church don't seem to have a clue. I love the older hymns and melodious songs that have complexity, beauty, and depth far more than the modern CCM worship songs that seem shallow, beat driven, and basic. There are certain songs and parts of songs that move me to tears and shouts and exsatacy. I guess that's why I will always be an old line Pentecostal at heart. I can't experience that depth in most other churches.
yes to the overwhelming ecstasy! Only bits here and there but it hits so hard- to the core. Sometimes I start bawling because it's so intense!
I almost always feel like I am "faking it" socially. Refreshing to hear your take on pick and choosing battles. Loved this video..it made me feel better about being an INFJ :)
By over-analysing, do you mean for instance when a social encounter ends, and you immediately replay the scenario in your head, i.e. thinking about whether you used the best choice of words and phrases, and how your body language came across? I think INFJ personalities are defined just as much by our interactions with others as by our consistent inner dialog. It's hard to get outside of my own head sometimes. Do you have any advice on how to manage this?
Sums me up to a tee! Desperately want to get out of my own head so I can live a less constrained and more fluid life.
Flow and be willing not to know. Flow is the opposite of know
Exactly what i was thinking. I was just having this inner dialogue about how i NEED to start talking more and maybe express myself a little bit better to the world around me because i'm at a stage where this whole inner self-talk is getting really overwhelming and quite tiring tbh.
YES
Oh wow.. The thing you just said about music, especially some specific melodies just stir up so intense deep emotions.
I've tried talking to people about this thing and I feel like many people believe they do relate and that it's not really so special, but I don't think that they really comprehend the intensity and depth of the emotions that stir up in those moments.
I could be wrong, but I feel like if they really related, they'd be EXTREMELY excited about the subject. :)
Totally agree about the music thing. I get chills with certain melodies strike a chord (no pun intended) which is why I think I like such an eclectic range of music. Almost like I am still searching for the perfect melody or note or something. As for the love issue, I am all in or all out. No inbetween.
Dude, this guy screams INFJ. The INFJ in me relates 100% with every word you said.
"Overwhelming ecstasy when listening to music" Oh my God yes! It feels so amazing. I haven't met a lot of people that can FEEL that way. It's like entering a trance right?
Brian, I never post comments on youtube videos but your profound ability to empathize with me through a screen has left me catalyzed. As a 16 year old INFJ girl, the paradoxes of my personality type in relation to my adolescent surroundings often confounds me. For once I feel completely understood, not just by someone else, but by myself through your video. I am strangely a INFJ with a lot of leadership roles so I also found your points about leadership to be particularly compelling. You have left me with a lot to think about. Thank you for that.
As for the music, I have a neurological condition called synesthesia. My brain cross-wires senses so, for me, every song has color and stimulates a physical response on my body. For example, this one song called eyes by rouge wave has very particular colors and at the 1:50 min mark, there is a sudden shit of movement which is triggered across my upper body. It might be something for you to look into. My letters and numbers also have color and when I interact with others I can physically feel objects in their hands or their body movements (its called mirror touch). I'm not sure if any of this is similar to what you experience but thought it was worth mentioning.
Hey Hana, I feel very honored that you would write this to me! And I wish I had your vocabulary and concise writing style at age 16. Wowzers! Can I give you some advice that I wish I had been given when I was your age? It's okay to second guess yourself and distrust yourself occasionally, but find a way to make your mind and decisions come back down to solid ground. If you have any older/wiser family members or friends, seek out their counsel. It should be a person your trust. If that person(s) doesn't exist, then trust in your own intuition as you develop who you are and who you want to become.
I haven't heard of synesthesia before and it doesn't sound like something I have. I'm kind of jealous that you get to have those experiences though. Same with mirror touch, I don't think I've experienced that before (but I'm sure happy you do). I do enjoy Rouge Wave's eyes. Do you see any colors on "Falling Slowly", off of the "Once" soundtrack? th-cam.com/video/lWE64Tg0FwY/w-d-xo.html
+Brian Schultz , thank you for the advice. fortunately, I am surrounded by incredibly intellectual and kind adults. I should probably take advantage of that more often. I had also just watched your most recent video on success and thought the crux of what you said to be very important. Especially coming from a school which is extremely competitive, I feel that insight is unfortunately lost around my peers. Thank you for reminding me that still exists.
Falling Slowly has been a long standing favorite of mine. Glen Hansard's green voice dances around blues and purples (probably from the piano) and pairs with the females light yellow voice. I actually have a playlist on my Spotify called synesthesia which features the 8 songs that creates the most interesting colors and physical feelings.
Hana M fairly sure i have some form of synesthesia too. Probably more than one, but honestly it's confusing knowing for sure what's caused by my wild imagination, my INFJ sensibility to inputs and what could be a neurological condition. Comment it's old, still if you read this, i'd be curious on whatever you feel like sharing on these :
We move as one-Antigone & Francois X
Journey Home-Antigone & Francois X
Distant Eyes-Sidewalks and Skeletons
Snow Dive-Jukka Rintamäki
Take your time and i strongly advise wearing headphones and being comfortable in a dark room :)
Hey, you wrote "sudden 'shit' of movement" 😆😆
Making friends easily: I am not the same. I can be friendly, nice, sweet, and polite which can naturally draw people to me but I am mostly guarded. Besides that, I almost always discourage intimate conversations with people like coworkers or strangers because I want my alone time and space and silence. Music: I have songs I like that doesn't match my personality, like Eminem. He has songs that may sound appalling to others but I like them even if I cannot relate it to my personal life, I just simply like how feelings and thoughts were expressed through the lyrics. Love extremely/deeply: TOTALLY 100% true for me. It is BOTH a decision to love and feelings of love. If you know what that means. Good judgment of people: I feel like I have this super power. It only takes a tone of their voice, match with their facial expression and body language - I can already make a prediction on who they are or if we will potentially get along or not. I am always often right. In fact, I don’t remember a time I was wrong. Leadership: I think I am natural leader being an infj. We are smart, and we are best with people so we can therefore lead and persuade easily. Admit it, we can be manipulators, we are just too nice/kind to not do it with bad intentions. I hope I will not have to (evil grin). YES, I get totally drained when in crowded places for a long period of time, or even in a small group where people are constantly talking for hours. I want to disappear and I'd imagine myself getting transported to some place where I can have total silence. INFJs can potentially be good leaders and teachers....if only teachers are paid well. Thanks Brian. Great video.
I obsess with songs, lyrics and beats with music of any genre. I read people so easy, love so hard, I will avoid public speaking in a leadership role and I’m great at delegating those kinda things (reluctant leader). Strangers always open up to me and I just can’t fake it ✌🏼❤️
Brian, I dont know if you will read this, but I am happy and laughing watching your video. I love when you say "people are people", and then you smile. Do I know that smile! ;) i try to hide it all the time, otherwise i have to explain myself for 45 minutes and still come out looking rather lunatic xD Hope you are well!
the overwhelming ecstasy from music like YES finally someone explained it exactly how it feels thank u
Brian! Great insights Sir! I myself am an INFJ and I can relate on everything from, music ( I play the piano by ear), to volunteering in small groups of shy/super introverted people. I also find it crazy how much we retain the emotions and feelings of those around us. Loved the video! This is the first I have watched, I hope there are more.
"You must watch a lot of porn" I'm stealing this😂
INFJ & Highly sensitive person - classical musician & concert photographer here. To keep it short, the stage is my playground.
Just found out I'm an INFJ today. Guess what my first thought was...
... I'm not alone! :)
Feeling music is such an important part of myself. I really enjoyed watching you speak as I can see my own facial expressions and mannerisms in you too. Very comforting.
Absolutely understand about "connecting" with music. Certain chord schemes, notes, or just damn fine story telling are like salve to my soul. Another INFJ kindred here. Thanks for sharing.
I can relate to your experience with music as well. For me it's classical music like Nocturne No.2 in E flat major.....when i was younger I was obsessed with music that made me feel this way. Personally I think classical composition can only be genuinely appreciated by INFJ persons..actual lyrics make things more digestible for the majority...but the notes the chords and their progressions, although they might be heard as just an elaborate expression of fundamentals and skill, all of it (to me) is perfectly articulated emotion, without words, which is kinda how INFJ typically function lol
honeygurlangel lol
I agree wholeheartedly, about loving very deeply. The hardest part is, I believe, we very much need the same from our partners, or we have an inner sadness as a result of our partners not being able to reciprocate. I am starting over in my life and partnered relationship of 13 years, to my sadness, but now looking forward to a future partner who can love deeply. As an INFJ, I believe we need to experience a deep love with our partner because we want to be understood on our deepest level and want to know our partners on their deepest level.
Leadership roles "obligated to step in"...I KNOW RIGHT !!!! I totally relate. This is great. The more of these INFJ videos I see (I'm on a binge these last few days) the more I feel awake. Alive, excited, I'm not alone.
Hi, thank you for making this. It's cool to see another INFJs honest perspective - especially since you discovered your type somewhat recently. It's quite addicting to read/see people describe behaviors that I've had trouble defining my entire life.
I want to start off by saying how much I LOVE your backyard! The plants, the decorations..ahh - so beautiful.
As far as the music - have you ever heard of the term "musical frission"? It basically describes the physical reactions (goosebumps, tingling sensation in the spine, etc.) that occur when you hear a piece of music. I assume every type has experienced this sensation before, but perhaps us intuitive-types experience it on a deeper level/more often. It's a beautiful gift to be able to connect to music in such a way!
I also listen to pieces over and over again to embrace that "special" moment in a song. Funny you mentioned Rage Against the Machine - one of my favorite musical "moments" from them is stuck in a song I really don't enjoy! It's in "Microphone Fiend" between 2:48 and 4:15. Sometimes I'll just replay that section over and over again because it's so damn satisfying!
I find it interesting that you work a 9-5 job and do life coaching on the side. I just graduated college and am trying to figure out my path and life coaching is something I'd love to do - especially for teenagers in high school. I have so many questions about that but I don't feel like it's necessary to ask them in this comment! And depression groups - wow..how inspiring. I'd love to get involved with something like that, but I'm only 24 and am not sure how people would take to someone so young being a life coach/group leader.
As far as leadership roles - YES! I completely agree! I'll adjust my role in a group to fill what's needed in the group. I think it's a big responsibility though - I'm more of a leader in the sense that my ideas are going to better the group/enhance the outcome. Not so much in sense that I can easily be authoritative and demanding with other people - I hate that.
When you mentioned the second negative thing about being an INFJ, or over analyzing something after you've experienced it - I immediately though of the "Ni-Ti" loop. This is delving into the functions of the MBTI system so it's very hard for people unfamiliar with functions to understand. But if you want to hear how other INFJs have put this phenomenon into words/examples then check out this thread on Reddit. I found it very helpful in understanding my tendency to overthink things
www.reddit.com/r/infj/comments/3rkbjh/eli5_whats_the_niti_loop/
Idealizing parters - yes I struggle with this very much - to the point where I'm afraid it'll cause me to do something drastic that I'll regret down the road. Statistically, INFJs tend to be the most unhappy types in marriages :(
Well I loved your video and am looking forward to hopefully seeing more! I related very much to each of the good/bad things you listed and know there are so many INFJs out there who would benefit from listening. Thanks again for sharing this with me!
Wow! Thanks for the response! It is pretty awesome just seeing other people out there who think and feel similarly.
And thanks for loving my backyard. Hopefully it’ll survive this summer.
I did just read a study about musical frission and it’s not INFJ specific apparently. However there are some personality types that won’t get musical frission. It has a lot to do with how open one is to new experiences. Most people get goosebumps and skin orgasms but I can sense a lot of those “feel good” hormones are being released into my body as well (dopamine, endorphins etc.).
I didn’t get ‘the feels’ on that one part of the Rage song, but I can see how you might. I’ve noticed a good buildup in a song can send me over the edge. I’ve put only my favorite parts of songs on repeat too haha.
The “Ni-Ti” loop thread was really insightful, thank you. I do fall victim to myself just living in my own head sometimes. I think some people who aren’t INFJ’s see that as being thoughtful and complex but when I get in that loop it is borderline brain torture that’s self-imposed. Not a fun place to be.
So I’m a little hesitant to give out my personal email via youtube but you can contact me through my site if you like www.westcoast-wellness.com if you’d like to chat about life coaching and what NOT to do. I was really the king of figuring things out the hard way and I wish I had some better guidance right after college.
Thanks for all the support and resources and hope to see more videos from you as well :)
I enjoyed your video & saw similarities so I figured I would comment on a few things you spoke about.
1 - You're the first person that has ever mentioned Outro by M83. I downloaded it when I heard it in the movie "The Fifth Estate". The scene where it's played feels very powerful because of the song.
2 - I am, and have been for 25 years, a HUGE fan of Trent Reznor/Nine Inch Nails. Hands down, he's my favorite artist ever. He writes all the music and it really is like poetry, even though most of it is painful. I have read that some people think Trent Reznor is INFJ.
3 - I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable in a leadership or management role for the single reason that I don't like telling people what to do. Perhaps that's why I never really got ahead in life, I'm always just keeping my head above water for as long as I can remember.
As a fellow INFJ I got your vibe the whole video!I could respond to each of your points to explain and expound but that would take pages and pages.Music! Yes! I'll explain that one. INFJs are attracted to art, poetry, novels, movies, and of course music.I became imprinted on music as an older child when I took guitar lessons. Later on, I took to rock, then new wave and punk. Most recently and luckily, I had an epiphany! I have dumped the older vintage stuff and 80's stuff and now love alternative rock and dancepop. As an INFJ this was wonderful as I was stuck in a void of not liking contemporary music which was fortuitous because as a music listener the old stuff would frequently remind me (an INFJ phenomenon...deja vu!) of negative past events such as tough times in school or broken relationships. Not until later did I realize that my guitar method books (Mel Bay) were peppered with blues scales. As you know blues was the foundation of early rock and roll and still my ear immediately catches the embedded "five-note blues riff" even in modern rock and country songs.I have had exposure to classical too as I played string bass in high school.Anyway. I have what is called "Ray's Grand Unifying Theory." In relation to music...music is composed of physical sound waves and have huge similarity to Columbia U.'s physicist Brian Greene and the 3-D vibrating "string theory" of the four fundamental forces of the universe (which are??). In a grand sense, everything, our bodies, our minds, WE...ARE MUSIC! Every nerve potential, every dream , every atom of every molecule of every tissue.The sound waves, picked up by the ears are transmitted from the inner ear cochlea then sent to the nucleus accumbens a part of the limbic system of the brain...the pleasure center...where the feel good chemical and neurotransmitter dopamine is secreted, reinforcing our attraction to music (relatedly, this is why many musicians fire up when jamming and composing as THC causes dopamine release in the brain...and music is said...ahem...so they tell me...to be 3X as enjoyable!).Evolutionary biologists postulate that our ears are genetically attuned to music as musical sounds (such as pharyngeal ululations and guttural sounds that can carry a great distance, or even yells) PRECEDED the arrival of language! The FIRST method of human to human communication. Also...the beat...the beat of music also recalls ("religious instinct") the pagan drum beat of the earliest tribal dance/trance religious ceremonies of ancient hunter gatherers! Additionally, young people like the fast driving vibrating beat of contemporary music because that sensation reminds of the excited (movement, rhythmic dance, sex) cardiovascular system (heart pounding and racing).Lastly, some musical riffs...Adele's music as a classic example, are filled with "appoggiaturas"...slightly dissonant notes at lyric ends that when resolved, cause sudden emotion and bring tears to the eyes.Here is one of my favorite pop songs from a while back but it is filled with emotion, lyrically and musically ("sad" minor chords and tear-jerking appoggiaturas) and even the video is a symbolic goldmine for INFJs! The song is by Philly area singer Christina Perri and her song, "Jar of Hearts (2010)." Note the dark post-apocalyptic (a breakup) smoke-filled streets of love's battlefield! Note the burnt rose petals/ash, the blood red parking space lines and the "Voldemort/dementor" effect.. th-cam.com/video/8v_4O44sfjM/w-d-xo.html I love learning song intros and hooks on my electric. All INFJs should learn to play a musical instrument...guitar(!)...so you are "in tune" with the expanse! DO IT! I'll save my newest favorite "hit" song for another post...genre "futurepop," as INFJs live in the future (the past, and present)." If anyone is interested. "Many such journeys are possible. Let me be your gateway (from 'The City On the Edge of Forever')." Let me know.Excellent work, keep on. I love your citing an example from life to demonstrate each point. You speak in parables...did you know that?
Hey Ray! Thanks for the comment. I think you and I would get along really well in 'real life'. Thanks for the Jar of Hearts song, that song is quite beautiful. I'll wait for a breakup and start listening to that song more ;)
Thanks also for mentioning deja vu. It's such a fascinating experience and I might talk more about it in another video.
Thanks again,
Brian
Media is a blessing in the sense it brought infjs together.we spent most of our lives feeling unique in the more isolated meaning of the word and it is just soul lifting to watch your video and see hear and feel myself in you. Your channel is the third infj channel I've looked at and we all have the same things to say...it's affirming. Thank you for your contribution. you took leadership within the infj community by posting your videos, because not many if us would. Thanks so much:)
when I was a small child my mother had an orchestral record album of wedding music. It was all performed by the Hollywood Bowl of Los Angeles CA. I can remember loving the beauty of the music and how it affected me so deeply. Some of the music was so sweet to me. especially the violins, that it would make me cry because I could feel it from deep within. When I shared with her why I was crying, she laughed at me. I knew she did not understand and I could care less but I still feel music on a deep level as a mature adult today....
Feeling music, exactly. Thank you.
People always tell me I look familiar! And ask me if I am a member of this place or go that place a lot! I didn't know that other INFJs had this experience. At first I thought it was just a cheesy pick up line. Lol. But it happens too often with people who wouldn't be in the category of wanting to be in a romantic relationship. Parts of songs, certain lyrics seem to come straight out of my soul, it changes over the years depending on what I'm going through. I'm not surprised you are so interested in other INFJ videos. INFJ males are the rarest of all the MBTI, so you probably haven't met another one in real life. You are more comfortable in your skin than the INFJ males I have observed online (and the one I knew in real life. I actually showed him about the type and he had always just thought he was different than everyone else). I also have people open up to me about very personal matters and usually fairly fast when I meet them.
This happening so often lead me to go back to school (I was a social worker for a few years after college), I went to grad school for mental health counseling bc I thought it would be something I might be naturally good at. With the girl you mentioned to had a crush on you that's actually called transference in counseling. She was projecting the positive feelings she got in your group on to you as an individual. It's a common problem in mental health counseling. The backyard you are filming in is very beautiful! I also get deep into self analysis. Which is good to a point, but can become a negative, like you said. So thanks for the video! I subscribed to your channel. You are the first INFJ guy I have found on TH-cam whose videos I really relate to. Keep up the good work! 💜☮️💟
It's so interesting you mention this. I have this happen ALL the time! I'm actually quite terrible with remembering names, but I will NEVER forget a face. So when someone mentions that I look familiar, I often think there was something else. Hearing other INFS run into this a lot is so bizzare though.
I just stumbled across this INFJ thing within the last month. I have struggled with my uniqueness my entire life, never feeling like I fit anywhere. I have never taken the Myers Briggs, but I relate to everything you and others have said about the INFJ personality. I was just thinking last week about doing some life coaching, but I'm concerned because I feel so deeply, I dwell on other's issues too much and worry about them. I am twice your age and I feel things even more deeply than ever. I am finally discovering that I am not the unique freak that I believed I was. Everything you said and the way you said it was me! I wish I could meet you or someone like us in person and have a deep discussion about what this is all about. I am just glad that I am not alone with this. We could use a forum where we could more privately share our thoughts and feelings (youtube seems too public if you know what I mean).
Agree completely, always felt "different" it's nice to know their are people in the world similar to my normal way of being. That it's not strange, just another way of being. There's comfort in that :) Thank you for sharing!!
Btw-I thought it was awesome how spoke of feeling music. Made me smile and brought me back to when I started dance at 14. My teacher asked me how it was possible that I was always in perfect time when I couldn't count music.. to me I couldn't be bothered to count when it felt so natural and instinctive to move with the music as I became it... like riding a wave only it moves through u and every cell in your being lights up.
As a fellow INFJ I agree with your insights. On the music yes I find it communicates directly with my soul be that a happy or sad feeling and you’re right it can just be a note or melody. I listen to a wide range of genres. The theme to Schindler’s list moves me so much that I feel the sadness, pain, suffering and at the same time the beauty in the music and I get tearful. On loving deeply yes I can get totally obsessed with certain people and fantasise about them and well enough said. Great to hear from you and sending you love and peace. Thanks
I LIKE that description.."an overwhelming ecstasy". TRUE here too. It's like I go into a trance almost and time stops, my focus goes inward and I really can throw myself into it and I MUST dance or move to it! It's almost sexual. The performer in me usually hidden just wants to shine!!
Thank you for posting this video because I found it refreshingly honest and without a hidden motive besides the search for truth and sincere expression. Sometimes I feel very alone as an INFJ and with a unique perspective. Thank you for expressing many of my own thoughts.
Haha Brother! It’s strange how we may live totally different life styles, but holly crap we feel life the same. Godspeed my dude.
I can't believe how you describe me with such accuracy. Until very recently i discovered i was like this. ALl my life i knew i was so different, felt so different, always caring more about others than myself. I hate to see the lack of balance and injustice of the world and that just scares and enrages me. I coulnd't agree more about all that you said, specially the music part. I love M83, and btw thank you for that other song Grace, which i didnt know. I just love how music makes me feel, and i think it is mostly because i can't feel this authentic with nobody else. It is as you said we easilty make friends, but never in a way we wanted it to be, because we have such high standards of how life should be. And this scares me as i am so young and feel so alone. In my 22 yeas of life i have striving for helping others find their purpose, and often feel used, as i give so much and get so little. I'm kind of the glue in most social groups, as i get people together and often get those leadership roles, don't really know why, but everytime people point at me to become their leader and lead them, which scares the heck out of me, beacuse i feel so much pressure.
Anyway thank you for your testemony, it helped me realize i'm not alone with this thoughts.
P:S: One of my favourite things to do is just lie in bed, all dark, put some music, instrumental mostly (such as m83), and just feel. Nothing else, not thinking, not singing. Just listen and feel the music. Then my mind often wonders to the meaning of life, and i feel alive.
I feel like you just summed up who I am. I'm the same with music, and also live dancing. It affects me so intensely. There's such a flood of emotion that happens.
INFJ here. What you said about music was interesting, and I could really relate to what you were saying (and judging by the comments so did other INFJs). Music has always been really powerful for me and I can really feel it moving me in a way similar to what you were describing. One song that has always 'got me' like this is the song "I'll be OK" by Nothing More. I would be interested in hearing other songs that do this too and I am sure to give them a listen. Keep making videos, they are very interesting!
You're the first person that I've heard describe being able to feel music, other than myself. I've had people ask me about that since I can remember and couldn't explain it other than I could feel the music. So it's an INFJ thing, haha, good to know. :-D
That's awesome Shelly! Yup, there's nothing quite like it :^)
I feel the music too. Sometimes it moves me to dance, and I do... sometimes it really just stops me dead in my tracks. I'm glad he mentioned the music thing too. I thought I was the only one.
Haha, I thought I was the only one too. Most of the times where people asked me that was back in the dance club days. It was just so easy to get lost in it, I couldn't see how they couldn't do it.
Hi Brian! I am an INFJ. I have experienced the same uphoria with music, during certain parts or aspects of the music, as far back as I can remember as a young child. I loved opera and now as a Christian, have a more intense experience/sensation with gospel/Christian music. I believe, it is an ability to feel/connect with the intention of the music. I could not imagine living without this!
That feeling of wonder in music will only be amplified as you grow in your knowledge of theology, and then eventually you'll be able to feel that wonder and overwhelming sense of awe and then of being loved so overwhelmingly and wholly at most any time within your inner person through prayer. Be constant in prayer! It's God's desire to pour grace upon grace upon us, but we must position ourself under the waterfall of His grace and it will come 😊 Grce&Pce!
I love this video. Thanks for sharing! It's nice to know that there are people out there that truly get me. Rare in our world. *waves hi to all the INFJs*
ENFP here and I absolutely relate to what you said about "feeling music", on a deeper level than most. So much so that certain songs I cannot listen to because of the reaction I get when I hear it. Very interesting you mention this!
I enjoy watching the INFJ videos too, and also am relieved to know there are others who have this challenging psyche. I learn a lot of strategies to employ in dealing with my INFJness from fellow INFJs. Thanks for posting.
I am an infj just getting into starting my own buisness....a life coach is something I could truly benefit from. good work !!!
Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjackpot!!! Loved the your message Brian! I'm a song "skipper"...it drives my friends nuts...hahahaha!!! I only like parts of songs and it's rare that I listen to a song the entire way through, but I love music, love to dance, and enjoy the energy it puts into me! One of my favorite things to do is roadtrip with my favorite tunes! I'm still new to the INFJ awakening...for years I felt just like you, the oddball, like no one understood, an outcast, different, awkward and the guilt of feeling like I could never be my full self around people was something that bothered me. Always having to wear a mask, especially at work! But now I'm beginning to understand. It is exciting to finally find answers to all of my questions. Great video, thank you for sharing...best wishes on your journey!!
Definitely get the familiarity thing a lot. It’s quite funny 😆 being a mini celeb or an old soul.
I’d agree that I also feel music deeply... I can especially appreciate instrumental music. I love to dance 💃🏻 and so I appreciate music that makes me move.
We are definitely secret keepers however I tend to let the secret go not long after. I’m a vault because the secret never moves from short term memory to long term so people can be rest assured that we won’t remember it to retell it.
The cool 😎 thing about INFJs is we are not only leaders inadvertently but also counselors/therapists/beacons of light. This makes us pretty well attuned to people, their motivations, their inner conflicts, wants and needs. This also means that sometimes what the person needs to know to grow is not always prepared in their life journey to hear the truth. I appreciate you pointing out the physical and emotional draining of people spilling into us. It’s almost as if we are constantly being challenged to flex our boundary/self preservation muscles 💪🏼 as we try to help.
I’d add that INFJs are quite resourceful and self-policing. I agree with a lot of the points you made! Great video and insight.
Yes yes and yes I can definitely relate to you and music !!!! I also "feel" music on every level. Its so awesome to hear someone else say this ! Thank you for your video. I relate to everything you have said. Its so good to know that there are other people like me in the world!!!!!
hahaha man I died when you mentioned Celine Dion 's O Holy Night... the part where she sings "fall on your knees.." always gets me.. its almost like a prelude to a damn orgasym
pibadar yessssss. So true.
^ ^
I just watched your video as I just recently took the Myers-Briggs test and found out I am also a INFJ. In your video, you talked about music and feeling it. I also have always thought that of myself, and tell people that when I dance to music the music dictates the movements, and I usually get weird looks. However what you are referring to I believe is EMOTION we feel emotion intensely and when whomever is singing or playing the music, if they are intense with their emotions we can feel it and overtakes our emotions. I have also really enjoyed watching peoples INFJ videos.
Firstly you aren't alone. I can't speak for all INFJs but in my experience I do feel an intense emotion while listening to some songs. However for me it's not only music, this happens with movies, tv shows or even someone just talking. It's almost as if in the moment the artist is bleeding their emotion into the piece and I can absorb it in a sense. I reconcile that by recognizing it's not necessarily my emotions I'm feeling. It's a part of them. It's like seeing the real them, if only for a brief moment. With that being said I don't ask myself what or why I'm feeling a certain way but what or how the artist was feeling. It can get confusing at times deciphering my own emotions from that of other people.
The leadership role dilemma is pretty spot on. I don't want to be a leader but I feel sometimes people need to be led and I can do that. It's a strange dynamic, a bit hard to explain.
Thank you for sharing.
So i took the test a couple of days ago and lo and behold, i am INFJ. Now im "obsessed" with finding more info and stumbled upon your videos. I can really relate to what you say.....regarding the music especially and definitely the loving hard part. When im listening to music i turn it into my own music video with choreography lol lots of dancing in my head. Anyway, great video! 👍
I agree with everything, particularly the music part. When I hear a song that I connect to (regardless of genre) I can get goosebumps, I might cry, and I kind of go into a trance where the music is the only thing that I'm focused on and I can relate so many abstract concepts to it, without thinking, but rather FEELING them. It's very intense.
An INFJ problem that I wonder about often involves our desire for harmony within a group and our intuitive understanding of other people. Sometimes, when I first meet people, I am very easygoing and polite and I show them whatever part of myself I know they will like. I wear many masks to please other people, and it's not like I'm fabricating these personas, but I am showcasing only the parts of my personality that will appeal to them. I know what they desire from another person because I can sense what is lacking in their lives or what they need to reach their full potential. As a result, people who are not INFJ's might think that we are very close friends and act like they understand me and they want to monopolize me, when in reality it takes me years to consider someone as a friend. I also want a lot of time to myself, being an introvert. When someone starts to act like they understand me and I owe them a lot of my time before I am emotionally invested in them as a friend, I might feel like they're trying to control me or I might be put off. Simultaneously, I understand WHY they are acting that way and I blame myself for being overly-accommodating. I get angry at myself for being put off by their overly familiar behavior when I helped foster that feeling. I might even feel like a fake, even though I never lied to them.
It's a conflict between wanting to make people happy and understand them, but also wanting to be private.
INFP here. Male INFPs are fairly rare. The way you are about ideas I am about values and authenticity. If I had a dime for every person who thought they’d met me before...what is that? Music is the highest art...it’s the least verbal. Aural ideas go deeper into the brain than images or words, according to Oliver Sachs’ final book. It’s like painting with emotions. In the ancient world it was initially a healing art. Paradox: I’m very guarded and private despite being very enquiring after everyone I meet. Getting me to tell you what’s really going on inside is hard on me, however, put me in a group and I will find the moral center of that group, whatever it is trying to achieve and I will lead the group there, whether or not I’m the nominal leader, which completely baffles me every time it happens. I will love to the point of selflessness and not in a healthy way often. I see the best in the worst people, their value or ideal, and have a rough time setting boundaries. I I.D. with you very much and once thought I was INFJ but I’ve since tested INFP often. Good luck my rare brother, take very good care of yourself and thanks for opening up.
I felt really calm listening to you talk, and what's so interesting (despite knowing we have this ability) is the moments I understood you most is when you were trying to articulate some of your thoughts. piggybacking of something you mentioned, I feel like with music it is an affinity for the melody and lyrics that is most closest to our emotions. Much like the music in movies that tells you a scary scene is moments away. It's the same for us with music; but instead of illiciting an emotion or energy it compliments it.
You mentioned about hiding the fact that we have advice that could help others, but so many times my advice has been blown off as if it was just hot air or they get defensive so that I am apprehesive to do it anymore. Sad for others and me, because, yes, I have to stifle who I really am to keep the peace and not feel like I am just ignored.
You sound just like me 5 weeks ago, when I discovered I'm INFJ. I've only just had to you in the last 5 minutes. just had to say in regards to music. I play music in a band have done for years, so I'm musically minded. I really relate to you on hear things in music. I'm harmony orientated. It doesn't have to be the lyrics, just the chord progressio can really affect me. I feel the emotion in a vocal at on a certain lyric. If I'm right in the moment at eye shed a tear easily. Can really mess with me. i love it. Everything you are saying is resonating with me. Thanks for share, helps me a lot
a great addition to INFJ search results, thanks for the video!
Well thats great what i observed about INFJ is when they talk people listen and whats wwird about it people will feel because when they talk u can tell thats coming from their heart not from their mind so you will feel it true ,youre very lucky to have that gift......
Info euphoria is well earned bc such a huge relief to find out that we are understood and not alone!
hi, another INFJ here. you made a very accurate video about our type! as i was reading the comments, i realized i must say something about this leadership-thing, what i always felt is that i'd like to be a "commander" near a king. Not the king, or the leader, but I would support someone with all my resources who is a true leader of a good cause and has developed integrity. All fellow INFJ-s i've seen and listened to through their videos, were sympathetic. And i was always smilng, thinking: "Hello my friend, i don't know you but I understand a piece of you deeply".
That's the key phrase there: developed integrity. It's really hard for me (and us) to put our effort and love and devotion into things and people that aren't moral and ethical. Glad you can relate :)
I feel that. I'd like to be an advisor to the king as well-kind of like Samuel to David, or Daniel to the king of Babylon. Prophet of truth/cupbearer to the king. To be able to counsel those of wisdom and knowledge and the power of how to make the changes that need to be made-this seems best to me-being greatly trusted as wise in what is right. I'm not a leader, at least not in that administrative/CEO/Commander-in-chief kind of sense. But I do have a lot of knowledge that I would like to inform the decisions of leaders.
And therein I might be able to change the world :) Anyone else feel this? (Eventually though, we might find that we have to step up and lead ourselves, if there is no one else, and then maybe we can delegate.)
I feel the music thing too!!! it's so weird because I do alot of self analysis afterwards also. I don't have a remedy. I usually just think it out until I'm satisfied. I'm an infj also btw!
This is the first time I've seen someone so much like me, except for the music part. Thank you for sharing so much, even the little awkwardnesses, where so much INFJ shows through.
I experience the same thing with some music. It's like the music is playing me. I get into a blissful melancholic state for a while. Yes, it occurs among a wide variety of styles, but will not occur with certain styles also.
I'm an INFJ as well & totally relate to Artists like M83. I really love to listen to Spatial & electronic synth music. Artists like Ulrich Schnauss, M83, Tycho, FM Attack are on repeat on my playlist. I also connect with people on an intimate level and far & few but deep relationships with people. You got it spot on about INFJ's falling in Love. I still struggle to let go of my ex and thoughts from the past linger every now & then.
Thanks so much for making this video. I relate perfectly to everything you said.
Thanks for watching Sarah! Glad you can relate :)
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!
Knowing we aren’t alone is such a relief. Then its about trying to figure out what to do with “it”.
Thanks for sharing!
Love this video. I'm the same way and I can relate to the music thing. The number one song that gets me every time is Ludovico Einaudi's Life. It's everything. I hope to see more videos from you. :)
That's a great song! There's a part during the last half where it's just violins and it gets my heart beating very fast.
Wow, great video! I hope you share more. You described the INFJ experience very well, especially the part about the music, and the fact that there is no one genre that creates that healing emotional response. I can get an emotional response within me (hard to describe, I know), but it's like a cleansing release wave, letting go of bottled up emotions, and it feels really good. The funny thing, is I can get this emotional response from everything from Sesame Street to Pink Floyd. There are certain lyrics, certain notes, certain ways that a singer even sings one phrase with deep emotion, that will cause this response. Until I found the INFJ community, I never realized it was something that other people experienced.
Everything from Sesame Street to Pink Floyd! Yup, I get it haha. There's a guitar solo in Comfortably Numb that I have to play over and over again every time I hear it.
Wow. I’ve never heard anyone mention the music phenomenon before. I’ve always been drawn to music and can literally feel it. It’s weird.
And the leadership bit? That’s been my whole life. Being involuntarily voted into things or pushed to lead projects and being burnt out but finding it a moral obligation not one for status climbing.
Great video. Everything was on point. 👌🏽
Do you get goose bumps sometimes when listening to music sometimes? im an INFJ
Wow! Felt the same thing with that Celine Dion O Holy Night (and often pieces of other songs, too). But I would have labeled it more euphoria than ecstasy because I view the latter as more physical and, while there's definitely a physical element to the impact (like tingles?), it's more strongly emotional/mental for me. And totally relate to everything else you are saying, too
When we catch the vibe of powerful music, we literally feel it. Just enjoy it.
Yeah, I agree about the necessity for more INFJs in leadership roles, they most often assess a situation very thoughtfully and not just reactionally, and they often have a deep understanding of human beings and situations that could be incredibly useful in many different areas of leadership.
I have never related to another infj as I do you! Everything you said was spot on, great video👍🏽
I am an INFJ and I love your voice :) thanks for sharing!
Hi Brian, I really enjoyed watching your video. I recently discovered that I have an INFJ personality type by taking the test. It's so amazing how now understand a lot of my behaviors and why I'm alone a lot. I have battled codependency also and I think that many of this personality type can fall into this trap easily. I do have a very high intuition to the point of what some might call psychic though it seems to be out of my control. I seem to have many acquaintances on a surface level, but very few individuals with whom I share a deep connection. I also certainly agree with you about the empathic ability. I get extremely drained when talking to and dealing with people as they feel the need to dump all of their emotional stuff on me. It seems as if it just naturally happens all of the time and I become so depleted. Its the worst feeling. I find that I often have to detach by just sitting in a quiet room alone with no sound. Also it helps when I go out in nature and meditate.
Everything you're saying is spot on Milton. When you figured out you were an INFJ, did you have that "Aha!" moment where things in your past just made a lot more sense?
+Brian Schultz Yeah a lot of things made sense. Through counseling ,I've been studying a lot about codependency. With the INJF personality and the codependent traits, it exactly describes me.
Nailed it. I instantly felt connected to you. You're a beautiful person, my friend.
Everyone...gives me their secrets. I've had so many people crying on my shoulder and admitting things they've never told anyone else within hours of meeting me.
I am definitely apprehensive about taking on the leadership roles. I know I have to ability to be successful in the role, but I'm not terribly fond of the spotlight.
Though I don't like confrontation, I find it difficult to not lend that advice to a person I know I can help. It's not always advice so much as making people aware of what's motivating them to act in a certain way.
It's hard not to idealize our partners because we see potential not only for the relationship but also for the potential of our partner/friends. You should definitely take time to recharge when talking about other people's problems. INFJ empathy is beyond the comprehension of most people because we seem to take on the pain of the person.
I think INFJs would likely make better advisers than leaders. We tend to be too idealistic and always want the role to have meaning.
Your video and Tom Davison's vids ... love them, I totally relate. Especially the stepping up when needed but don't love it and people choosing to share things they haven't with others.
I love listening to other INFJ's post videos because I can relate so much! (Like when you were talking about being able to "feel" music, that happens to all the time but I didn't even know how to put it into words, or even knew that was a thing other people felt until you talked about it.) Plus I feel like since INFJ's are fairly uncommon, that tends to come with the feeling of being misunderstood and alone so the fact that you're talking about INFJ related things makes me feel not so alone in sense. So thank you for making videos, you should definitely make more! :)
Thanks Brooke. I'm currently hiding in my INFJ cave waiting for all the crazy stuff happening in the news to pass over. Then I'll resurface haha. Have a great day!
I'm an INTP and I can "feel" music too. I think it's because, as an INTP, feelings don't come too naturally for us, therefore music becomes our feelings-if that makes any sense. In short, music just helps me experience those feelings that I don't normally have.