In Online Dating, Everyone's a Little Bit Racist
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ต.ค. 2014
- OKCupid is one of the largest dating sites in the world with over 4 million monthly active users. While the explicit purpose of OKCupid is to help users find romance, the site's co-founder Christian Rudder has discovered a dual purpose for the information produced through the dating site.
Courting controversy, Rudder has sorted through the data of 25 million users, revealing findings on beauty, attraction, race, and gender. Rudder has recently released some of those numbers in a book titled Dataclysm. In this short video, Rudder shares some of his discoveries and discusses “who we are when we think no one’s looking.”
Subscribe to The Atlantic on TH-cam: bit.ly/1pE29OW
Twitter: / theatlanticvid
Facebook: / theatlantic
Google+: plus.google.com/+TheAtlantic
Subscribe to The Atlantic on TH-cam: bit.ly/subAtlanticYT - วิทยาศาสตร์และเทคโนโลยี
![รุ่นใหญ่ EP.2 บุกบ้าน เสรีพิศุทธ์ ระหว่าง บิ๊กต่อ กับ บิ๊กโจ๊ก อา รักใครมากกว่า ?? l [Nickynachat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/j2inUqhN__0/mqdefault.jpg)
His hair is so majestic...
u wouldnt be saying that if he was an asian man
It's gay like him
😂
he probably never washes it, or washes with grandpa's pine tar soap.
@@jloza2257 Or Black
in other words, if your not in the top 20% percent of males, dont join dating sites
30 million users but still don't have a match.... :( Haha
This comment is 8 months old... has the situation changed for you bro?
2 years later, update?
@@isx158 nah I got fatter and sadder lmao
@@cheeriomartinez fuck that app
ur not white thats why. If you got fatter and sadder while being white, you would still get dates. Welcome to reality.
Making the ineffible totally f-able, that's hilarious
People want their children to look like them and want someone with similar experiences. Hence they stay within race.
MK thats wack
MK naaah I think people just have types and find different people attractive. It’s the same as being more attracted to brunettes than blonds. It’s bot racist or discrimination it’s just preference
People's kids can look like them even if they are with a partner of a different race.
I'm White and I'll probably end up with a Japanese woman soooo....
In the future everyone is mixed so... 😂
I’m happy to know the people that want to date me a black woman actually pick people by their character and not skin color. It just shows the percentage of actual decent people out in the world.
of course! i think dating "preferences" or biases have taught me the importance of icons and role models too. im an indian american (like the eastern subcontinent) born and raised here and i really think black women indian guys and some other groups struggle from a lack of representation. most of my guy friends have said to myself or my black male friends "im sorry but im honestly not attracted to *insert friends race* women" and the women theyre attracted to tend to largely be based off of models, singers, actresses, and i think most importantly characters. I myself have found my preferences shift greatly and become so much more broad as ive grown and consumed different things but the traditionally attractive skinny white female is still very much ingrained in many guys heads. thats not to say theres anything wrong with being attracted to skinny white women its just that for the longest time they were the only ones you saw in roles or positions we admired and found attractive or even fantasized about. I think this extends from body types where weve seen a shift from model skinny being ideal to "thick" and varied body types being very popularly accepted as attractive. A recent example i think is good also is hoyeun jung from squid game the show was so popular and people liked her character so much i see guys that had no interest in women of her body type or asian girls that see her as a 10/10 beautiful. sorry if i went on a tangent just felt this was kind of an epiphany for me as a guy becoming more open minded in my consideration of who I would date
@@alalal123421 There's plenty of black representation in pop culture. If anything there's probably an over representation, especially in certain fields.
same as south asian male
@@trailersfromhell2539 over representation ? When was the last time black men were casted in a big role ? Stop thé cope it’s more so an over representation of whyte males
This is actually so screwed up.... this age gap thing... my question would be.... do they not have mirrors at home? Do they think a 21 yr old would actually love them? Are they so naive to think that IF a 21 yr old does allow herself to be picked up.... it's about them vs their money? So I guess this is why both women and men of a certain age up... just wind up being all alone.... because of the guys!! The unrealisticness of it is mind boggling!
Oookay kids, hows about we slow our respective rolls and consider the fact that our mate preferences are unconsciously dictated to us by evolutionary processes.
Our mate choice affects the probability of our own genes reproductive success and evolutionarily speaking, it’s unfortunately different for the sexes.
I’m not saying that this is in any way morally or ethically correct in our modern context, but if you actually want to understand unconscious sexual preferences..
The most successful strategy for males was arguably to “hit it and quit it” with any reproductively viable female. (20-25 is arguably the peak period for reproductive success in human females)
In contrast, the optimum strategy for human females was to long term pair bond with a male who would both protect and provide resources for her and the offspring, which is more likely in a peer male (but not younger males because they appear incompetent to the female)
Sexual interaction problems don’t arise from people thinking about their evolved reproductive instincts.
It’s the opposite.
21 is peak fertility and yes the women would prefer older men. Doesnt really matter
@@pawnjp7946 this is why you don't base your mentality on half baked knowledge. first fo all even in the study itself, all women preferred young or younger male, so I don't see how women are finding young men to be incompetent. It's not just women that in their reproductive peak in their 20s but men too. men have their biological clock and perhaps that explain why all women preferred young men in their 20s or men much younger than they are.
Globally most young women marry within 1 year or 1-5 years older and younger. In fact women are most likely to marry 1-3 years younger than 4-5 years older.
@@MK-ex4pb Except that the women didn't prefer older man. All women in the OKC data preferred men in their 20s or men 1-8 years younger.
@@shintiariva6012 false
Oh man I’d love to see more of that data
Oml. Hai Kovu.
Im just curious to know how many of those working at these dating websites/apps are actually not single?
Hi
Considering how he say it increased cynicism, guess some may stay single or away from their apps🤣
song in the end?
He’s cute. Bright-eyed, kind, and nerdy.
Indira Jakarta you trying to hit on the Co-Founder. LOL. Been there, no worries.
I just kept thinking of the avenue Q song
Maybe this has more to do with the people OKCupid attracts. Dreads has never been a thing for me or my family, I don't really know what neo-soul or even what soul actually is for its genre, the most I know about Jamie Foxx is that I think he is a comedian... Those white stereotypes on huntin and fishin were never a thing among my friends until I moved to a flyover state and weren't a thing abroad. Etc.
Me thinking: “Ineffible?... Ineffible. What does that mean-OHHHHHH”
Unfortunately I couldn't match the criteria of the women in those online dating sites. Most of the women were interested in 6'0" white caucasian men. During my stay in Canada I experienced a lot of rejection due to my height, ethnicity and skin color
@Yo Mama I got tired of all the racism and Islamophobia which I experienced back in Canada. I tried all the dating sites and I couldn't establish any communication and then the only ones available were women 20, 30 years older than me!, only cougars!
@@Willys_GreyhoundM38 go where latinos are valued....Canada has 0 latino culture
@@Willys_GreyhoundM38 Where do you live now and how is your dating life doing now ?
@@TrappedInTheNorth I decided to leave Canada and then I moved back to Mexico
@@Willys_GreyhoundM38 I am in the same situation as you used to be in, living in Denmark as a Somali guy can not get any girls, made a fake tinder profile with a white guy below my looks and he got many matches. White girls only wants their own men even if you grow up among them like I did
So Jared Taylor is right...?
Jared Taylor is always right.
@@AlexP-jz9sg But going full SS is not right and you be in wrong if you tried too.
@@Not-Ap White advocacy and race realism are not nazism. Acknowledging social realities and scientific research, however controversial, is critical to advancing as a species. And it is OK to be white. 👍
@@AlexP-jz9sg I never said it wasn't but your true enemy is //the people\\ who enabled all this. Not minorities. There being used as pawns in the game between you and //the people\\ have been playing for centuries. Minorities just want to be left alone and if they had known about the tit for tat match you had going with them they would have never willing gone along with it.
Which thing? I find it really sad that white men are being forced to be with black women, but no one can call out the black guy above in the comments for only wanting to be with white women and Latino women. Is it just me or does it seem harder to find a dating partner with in one's own race?
A preference for a particular kind of mate is NOT racist. Preferences for mates based on physical characteristics may be shallow, unrealistic, and self-defeating, but they are not inherently racist.
I don't think it's wrong. If you aren't into fat people then you aren't into fat people. If you aren't into black men or asian women then that's just how it is. Just like you can't control if you're gay or straight you can't control who you find attractive, and if you don't find someone attractive then you shouldn't be in a physical relationship with them.
For me, personally, I cannot date fat women. I find them extremely unappealing. I don't think they are bad people or anything, they just aren't my preference.
Yeah, nah it's racist.
It's racist. If you say "I won't date black people," it means you're saying you believe ALL black people are ugly or unattractive. You're negatively generalizing an entire group of people by virtue of their race. So yes, you're being racist.
Also, it's important to examine and consider WHY you won't date black people. Why you think they're "unattractive" (really, you're gonna say that when Lupita Nyong'o exists?) or unworthy of your time. That's undeniably rooted in racist expectations and standards of beauty created by European colonizers. Like, break out of that bullshit.
Callie S Okay, then I’m a racist because I prefer to date white and Asian women. I’m also fat phobic because I don’t date fat people. I a transphobic too because I’d never date a trans girl. I don’t care what you label me.
Uh, yeah, you are. You're also an adult virgin.
Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. Doesn't me we go around committing hate crimes. Look around and you will find no one's really color blind. Maybe it"s a fact we all should face...everyone makes judgments based on race.
(Anyone that gets this earns points)
@Mike Jones Well yes but was hoping someone knew the reference
Avenue Q
Yes but real issue living this way not healthy long term. Whites don't want to be harassed by people they don't find attractive and ethnic minorities want to have some sort of sense self esteem which can only occur if there not drowning in white culture 247 from 1 to age 30. If we continue down this road ethnic tensions will simply continue to boil and boil until they explode.
Never understood this concept, what's so hard with understanding people on a case by case basis? More accurate to say we all have biasis but depending on how we act on those biases in regards to race can make us racist.
Your a whyte male correct?
I think there is this erroneous supposition that everyone starts on a level playing field with an even score. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I guess it is sad that some people in a heterogenous country, some cultures and ethnicities are valued much more than others. My cousin Dennis is tall, blond, green-eyed and hung. He is handsome. He gets hit on all the time by men and women. Life is not fair in that some people have money, position, power, and looks and others don't. I must point out that Dennis never established his own value, it is the people that want him that did that. Instead of hinting that white people are unfairly advantaged, maybe non-Caucasian people have their values askew by placing white folks on a pedestal.
@Riso Being ashamed of what you are will get you zip. If you don't believe you have something to offer a prospective partner, then nobody will. I am not perfect, but I believe I have something to offer a lover. So thankfully I do all right as a gay man. The world is ready to cut everyone down a notch don't you help them out!
@Riso I think the difference is in the gay community, white gays are placed on the top of the ranking in desirability. Even more so if you are preppy, WASPY, blond, and muscular. Gay Black men in particular do not want other black or brown men. They chase and lust after the white gays. So I guess you don't know this dynamic b/c you are not in the gay community.
Um...how do you know your cousin is hung?
@@OnanX501 He is my housemate and closest friend. He is not especially modest. He sometimes walks around in his underwear, or wears a robe and nothing else after he showers. Even if he didn't, you could see his bulge.
@@mjbaz1 😨🤢 I hate housemates like that. Especially family..🙄
I'm not an American or Western so I need to understand why when someone doesn't like to be married to someone from a different race it's considered "Racism"?!
That's not Racism! That's Choice and Preference.
It's because there are some people in the west that are very loud, very far left on the political spectrum, and very fucking sensitive that think everything is racist. Seriously. It's because in the west a small group of people have made a lot of money off of "fighting racism" and as racism increasingly vanishes, they need to create new enemies to fight, and so... everything became racist. For example when Obama became president Al Sharpton gave a speech reminding everyone that American society is still racist, and that it doesn't matter that the president is black, or that there are black billionaires on wall street, or in the music business, or any other walk of life. They have a vested interest in racism staying alive, because when your job is to fight racism professionally, there needs to be racism or you're unemployed.
@@williehawaii9967 see, now, that was just blatantly racist
XxxBrielleRosadoxxX how is that racist? You’re the one thinking about race
@Albert Jackson What?
Stop pretending that racism doesn't exist outside of America and the West. You know we have the internet. We see you.
Humans are predictable yet unpredictable. That sounds about right.
Now Christian Rudder is not saying having a dating preference means a person is racist. He is simply saying that when you have a group of women who almost no American men want to date, then racist attitudes are playing a part of that in some cases. Of course, he is not claiming that if you don't want to date a certain race that means you are racist b/c of course people are attracted to different things. He is simply saying that the fact that you have only one race of women who hardly no men are open to means that prejudice attitudes are playing a part in why hardly no men like that race of woman.
He is not saying that. What he is saying is that there is a standard of beauty set by the media that influences how attractive certain races are considered.
social conditioning
Men need to go with someone their own age and attractiveness level. Sheesh.
Women need to accept that 6 foot tall rich men don't want obese single mothers.
Who said they did
Why would men in their thirties and forties date their own age level? Women that age look terrible, especially if they're not Asian or Hispanic.... your average white girl has hit The Wall by 37, no matter what they used to look like in high school or college. Meanwhile men that age can look great, at least compared to their female counterparts. Not all of course , but men often age like wine while women age like milk. There are also a huge amount of young women looking to date older men, probably as a result of growing up without fathers in their lives thanks to the corrupt family court system. A buddy of mine went back to college at age 38, and college girls actively pursued him and were quite direct about it. There is literally no good reason for a man in that age range to date his own age and put up with saggy, wrinkly hag single mothers, especially if he keeps in shape and has aged well.
@@kimberlybrookes5844 iam here for you
Tyler Durden - Nope.
Prejudice and Racism are 2 different things
Cryptic comment with no explanation. Aren't we talking about *racial* prejudice, which is essentially racism?
@@jamiehayes5753 Yep. This attempt to narrow the definition so that it's only "prejudice plus power" is sadly common. Really I think many in the SJW or "anti-racist" camps just use it to saddle racism onto whites while dodging their own potential guilt of it.
You know when people say "I'm not racist but" I'm beginning to think what follows isn't always racist, but rather a boundary thing. I'm not racist (boundary) I can date my own race.
@@jairaleejones1010 Having a 'boundary' or personal preference here is never racist.
This guy seems cool.
I used to use hot or not
Oh OkCupid, you adorable nerdy matchmakers. I still miss the wonderful Journals you had.
0:00 LOL wagecucking BLACKPILLED him
Facts
Well not literally hit but still yell out loud
Maybe we need to redefine “racism” since if everyone is racist, then no one is.
Aragorn Stellar - yeah, nah that's not how it works.
Maybe we need to use basic logic.
Everyone can be racist as long as they all meet the definition of racist.
The whole concept of "race' as it applies to homo sapiens is a social construct with no basis in biology or anthropology. Hence, the word "racist" is subjective and can be twisted around to mean whatever the defendants lawyer wants it to mean. It's the modern equivalent of accusing someone of being a witch.
Which will only make people even more openly prejudiced and will lead to war.
It's nice that you're examining the complexity of that data, but sites like Tinder, Bumble or Match do nothing to help tackle racism in dating.
How would you propose an app does that?
@@acdeeiprrt I think the problem isn't just that, looking at the data surveys show Asian men rank as the absolute lowest on the scale of attention and attraction with only 1.9% interest followed by Black Women. The only way is if the Algorithms mitigated that somehow.
@@JoshDRivia4 that's what I'm asking. How do you think an app can/should change people's racial preferences? All I can think of is changing who you get shown. If there are still some white people, the sexual racists will still choose them, and if people see only people of color, it'll be far too obvious.
@@acdeeiprrt In all fairness, I'm not actually sure it's racism and this past year I've had a theory it's inherent racial profiling, I think people see the difference and think that it's not going to be ideal in a partner.
My suggestion was a change to the algorithm that most dating apps have.
So an example is, the most inactive profiles are put at the bottom of the list, but the profiles with the least attention are put on top (which in this instance is likely the multi-culture profiles.
Another is what your suggestion, you should be able to select on race. This is as you say too obvious and opens up a real can of worms if people anaylsed it, but then you'd have the truth of the matter.
If you don't want to date a man you're a homophobe, if you don't want to date a trans woman you're transphobic, if you don't want to date a poc you are racist.
It's as simple as that!.
- how can we force sex on those bigoted white men?
This also has alot to do with economics. I'd like to see the stats on educated and wealthy (income of 150k+) black/latino men in comparison to educated white men. I'd assume that the levels are pretty comparable. I don't know how to solve the issue with women, but I know for men income and education plays a major role in attractiveness past adolescence. Most of the black guys using online dating are probably broke and that's the issue
Jason Young not really cuz I went to UNH n there was plenty of black men there n I never saw one good looming white girl hook up with one except one good looking basketball player (no homo) but other then that the only white girls black guys couod get were the ugly ones or fat ones
There aren’t many black men making over 100k or super educated tbh. A lot are in prison or in poverty or have a lot of kids etc. It is a minority of black men that are wealthy and educated with no kids and single still at the same time
Y’all are trash human beings
A study actually showed that cuz they is no way in hell blaq men are considered unattractive
What do you know! Stereotypes are true.
Everyone knows stereotypes are based on SOME truth. But still isn't good measure to use stereotypes to assume you know a person.
@@ELP1125 I'm not sure everyone knows that. I think there are a lot of people (especially on the left of the political spectrum) who believe stereotypes have no basis in truth.
He doesn't look like a CEO at all😅
I'm not being mean...🤦♀️
His hair is shit
Most of them don't.
hi friends am new here
can i get my match here
Men find 20 to 21 the most attractive because that's peak fertility. DUH
Lol one year difference you must be so smart
These dudes aren't trying to get them pregnant and build families, it's literally smash and pass. 🤦🏾♂️
I think the biggest problem here is OKCupid doesn't know that everyone can't be racist. As such, they can't fully comprehend its complexity.
MzShonuff123 You are basically just a racist black man right?
Feels v dated. 2 sexes? 4 races? Um...
omg ew the age thing is so gross
Being attracted to a specific race is not a preference, it's a type of orientation. Just like how dating only men doesn't make you sexist, dating only white people doesn't make you racist. If you're gay, you don't "prefer" men; you're attracted to only men. If you only like white men, then that falls under the umbrella of a sexual orientation, but instead of it being related to gender it's related to race. There's a huge difference between a sexual preference and a sexual orientation. A preference is like if you prefer someone who has blue eyes, but it's not a deal-breaker. An orientation is what you are naturally and instinctively attracted to and IS a deal-breaker. There is NOTHING wrong with your sexual orientation, and you should not feel ashamed about who you are and are not attracted to. Stop shaming people for loving who they love.
Race is not a sexual orientation. Like it or not racial preferences are dictated by society and stereotypes. IE racism. You seem to feel uncomfortable about this topic with those kind of mental gymnastics
Sexual Preference = Social Reponse
Sexual Orientation = Biological Response
Your house is stank!
What hes shown is that the age gap isn't creepy, its biological.
You're assuming that those responses are based on biology and not culture. In society, older men are encourage to desire younger women while older women are discouraged to want younger men. Sure, in some feminists circles it's the other way around, but let's be honest it's not exactly mainstream.
Right, Thanks neosoontoretro. Totally cultural! (in the dominant capitalist, patriarchal, protestant vein here in America) This phenomena lessons (though not really significantly) in less mainstream groups. it's funny how dating is really at the core of our sociological behaviors and beliefs. (i mean it is the basis for family, which is usually the basis/excuse for money/success, which is really the driving force of our culture). I'd be curious to know how this ratio holds up among self-proclaimed relationship anarchists and polyamorists. i doubt it changes hardly at all.
How do you know it's "totally cultural!" though? It makes biological sense for men to be attracted to women in their biological prime, which wanes over time; unlike male fertility.
Dr. Riq I think the misconception that only female fertility decreases kinda highlights the cultural influence there. Men have a prime as well. Sperm motility is at its highest before 25 and sperm counts start dropping after the mid-30s. There is a difference in that sperm production never ceases while egg production does, so there is usually an "end" to female fertility, but it's not like men are perpetual baby makers. There is plenty of biological incentive for a woman to seek a younger partner, but at the same time, there's the gendered double standard that continues to treat men over 35 as eligible while labelling women of the same age as spinsters. There's certainly a biological side to it, but it's hard to ignore the cultural bias that influences what people want.
@@NathanielKorb it's not culture, it's biology you idiot
People date within their own race, how surprising.
They're looking at the reasoning behind that.
it's not fucking racist for the architecture of your mind (which you can't control) to prefer one thing over another. If we didn't/don't have preferences we probably wouldn't survive or be able to adapt to a world where preferences might actually matter. It's biology.
sexual preferences are not biologic, they're social and cultural.
@@anne-claudelparr-rousseau4299 i've never heard something so stupid before, sexual preferences happen in the mind, therefor they're biological. That's pretty simple to understand
@@BLUEGENE13 I’m a sexologist. I’ve been studying, reading, thinking and writing about sexuality for years. You are not going to tell me that preferences are biological. Have a good day ✌🏽
Socially and cultural are black males outside of black society consider Ed attractive and u have dark or brown Hispanics are they attracted to black Americans
Is it your biology telling you that one race isn't attractive compared to another, or is it a learned behavior through social conditioning...hmm 🤔
I need a white girl
Sir NUNDA - why though?
I really love them why don't you accept me email josephasukenye@yahoo.com
@@kimberlybrookes5844 I really love them why don't you accept me? My email is josephasukenye@yahoo.com
@Vincent Smith I have several reasons and where iam living you can't find them
@Vincent Smith Reasons are within me and they might not impressive to you so it is as it is
Why is a homosexual running okcupid?
You're a messed up person.
Because he's smarter than you
Why is a homophobe like you on this video if you have a problem with that
This is true. I'm a black guy who's into white girls and Latinas. I fantasize mostly about white girls and Latinas. If I were to engage in a three-way, it would be with a white girl and a Latina. The vast majority of women I date will be white women and Latinas. And I know at this point that my wife will either be white or Latina.
Latina is not a race
Are you trolling? 😂😂
Shake Shack Is Better Than Five Guys 😂😂
Could you say white and latina one more time, so that we get it..you really like white and latina haha
@@brokenquill9277 I know. It's an ethnicity. Still, everyone has their biases.