Toxic relationships | When I'm Not Around (Kdramas)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ก.ค. 2024
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TO UNDERSTAND THE VIDEO PLEASE READ MY ARTICLE : marietbytb.blogspot.com/2022/...
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NAME OF DRAMAS:
0:00 : My roomate is a Gumiho
0:06 : Love Alarm
0:14 : Cheer up
0:21 : Nevertheless
0:26 : The smile has left your eyes
0:30 : True Beauty
0:36 : Backstreet rookie
0:40 : My roomate is a gumiho
0:45 : Nevertheless
0:49 : Tempted
0:54 : It's okay to not be okay
0:57 : My roomate is a gumiho
0:59 : It's okay to not be okay
1:02 : My roomate is a gumiho
1:06 : Backstreet rookie
1:11 : The smile has left your eyes
1:15 : True Beauty
1:18 : It's okay to not be okay
1:21 : Love Alarm
1:24 : Nevertheless
1:28 : Backstreet rookie
1:32 : The smile has left your eyes
1:37 : True Beauty
1:43 : Cheer up
1:47 : My roomate is a gumiho
1:51 : Nevertheless
1:54 : It's okay to not be okay
1:57 : Nevertheless
1:58 : True Beauty
2:01 : Nevertheless
2:05 : Cheer up
2:11 : My roomate is a gumiho
2:18 : The smile has left your eyes
2:22 : It's okay to not be okay
2:25 : Backstreet rookie
2:29 : Cheer up
2:32 : Love alarm
2:39 : The smile has left your eyes
2:47 : My roomate is a gumiho
2:53 : Nevertheless
2:57 : It's okay to not be okay
3:05 : Tempted
3:12 : Nevertheless
3:20 : NOTE
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II. Informations:
- Music: When I'm Not Around - Jessie Murph
- Program: Sony Vegas pro 13
- Colouring: Candy by coldties
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Tags:
#kdrama #kdramaedit #kdramas #kdramaedits #drama #dramakorea #dramas #toxic #toxicrelationships #redflags #abuse #playboy #badboy #domesticviolence - ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
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For this video, I have to admit I was a bit lazy and I didn't have the energy to do as much research as for my previous videos. Instead, I suggest a little text to illustrate the subject of this video:
" He was the most handsome boy in the whole school, he had the face of an idol, the physique of a jock and the smile of a fallen angel. With a confident look on his face, his chin up, one had never seen him without company. Boys and girls were constantly on his tail. His ex-girlfriends hated him, boys were secretly jealous of him, but everyone, everyone knew him. In spite of his impressive dating record, everyone thought he was unable to love. And despite his bad boy looks, it was impossible to hate him. But it seemed like fate was out to get even.
She was a girl who was both ordinary and strange, she had friends but she always looked like she was alone. She didn't have much more than beautiful shy eyes and a naivety that protected her from the much less shy eyes of the most beautiful boy in school. She wasn't really interested in him, she was aware of his reputation and her mind was stuck elsewhere, on another guy. But the womanizer thought he knew "that kind of girl", as he said, no one had ever resisted him and he especially hated this other guy who seemed to be luckier in capturing the girl's intention.
But after a while he started to get impatient, how could she be so difficult? He was obviously making an impression on her, he was sure of it, it was enough for him to insist a little more, this kind of girls didn't know what they wanted, they would say no when they thought yes. And anyway, he would definitely not let that other guy get her, win her. He had never lost, he didn't know how to lose; no, he wasn't a loser. He ALWAYS got what he wanted, this girl would be no exception.
go why was she looking at him so indifferently? Why did his moves make him look like a desperate guy? Was he desperate? Why did she have to make him feel that way? He felt like he was losing his mind, his frustration was getting too overwhelming. And this other guy was still on his way, he would eventually pull him out of it one way or another. He wanted to smash him in the face.
The girl was getting away from him, he couldn't let her slip through his fingers like that. He loved her, terribly, madly; no, he passionately hated her. She loved him too, he just needed to insist a little more, with a bit of perseverance he would eventually get her, she just didn't know what she wanted and her "no's" weren't sincere.
His heart ached but he refused to suffer alone, he refused to give up so quickly. She just didn't know what she was missing, she just could not give him up, right ? She couldn't turn him down, she had no right to say no, she could not escape him.
Why did she have to push him so far?
If she hadn't said no, if she had chosen him, if she had given in to him, he wouldn't have had to follow her that night.
If she hadn't turned him down once again, if she had not backed away from his kiss, he wouldn't have had to grip her arm so tightly.
And damn it, if she hadn't pulled out of his grip, if she hadn't turned her back on him, I wouldn't have had to kill her."
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You can read this text on my blog too : marietbytb.blogspot.com/2022/11/the-romanticization-of-bad-boys-and.html
This text was meant to show you (with a different ending) what I am highlighting in my video:
- There is a bad boy who has never fallen in love
- He is interested in this girl and practically stalks her
- He falls in love with this girl
- Has a desperate phase between denial and sadness
- He then returns to his insistence thinking he still has a chance
- He may become violent if it doesn't work (Nevertheless)
The conclusion of all this is:
- He does not respect the FL boundaries
- He thinks he can force her into loving him
- He does not take her rejections seriously
= He does not respect her consent
- He is behaving in a more than insistent manner, almost like a stalker
The problem is:
- These behaviors are justified by the fact that he eventually falls in love
- The Female Lead is presented as a heartless bitch for rejecting him
- He is portrayed as a poor boy for whom we feel pity
- Most of the time this is amplified by the fact that he had a hard life (Daddy issues...)
- He is not represented as a stalker at all: the actor is mostly handsome, he is either the Male Lead or the Second Lead and is therefore not at all presented in the image of the usual stalker (often in dramas the stalkers are old men introverted and "ugly", although there are some exceptions)
- His actions are justified and romanticized: he is just trying to get what he wants because you should (in dramas) never give up, and do your best to get what you want, otherwise you are a coward: it is clearly stalker mindset
P. S: I say "he" because it's mostly boys but in the video you can see that it's not always the case!
Thanks for watching!
YOU'VE GOT A BLOG NOW?! YOOOOOO that's great! Heading there right now!! 🏃🏾♀️💨
you should b an author
Your article is very spot on, I hate this kind of guys. And I hate that they’re romanticised even more. The creators of these dramas are fucking batshit crazy for promoting these jock-stalkers as something that every girl wants to have in her life.
your blog is amazing 💜💜💜
Beautiful video and really great blog..keep doing this👍👍
I appreciate you adding male victims in the video too. Abusive behaviors from women tend to get overlooked either because they have pretty privilege or because people don't actually believe women can be predators. I can't count the amount of edits I've seen of abusive female characters (as well as male) being portrayed as "cool" or "badass" just because they're seen as conventionally attractive.
A person endangering the life of another person, and being abusive is not "badass", it's not "female empowerment". It's just plain toxicity.
I actually made a video about it ! : th-cam.com/video/JTAc80nTOm8/w-d-xo.html
Exactly! You spoke the facts
Literally i’m so thankful for your edits pointing out romanticised toxic relationships. Its so crucial to be able to recognise that red flags are not cute.
my lord, sun-oh's character in love alarm was so entitled, greedy and possessive. never understood why more people didn't root for hyeyeoung and wanted jojo to go back to him like what do people on the internet have against enjoying healthy relationships, i'll never know
thanks for keeping such posts coming! especially during a time where "red flags" are romanticized
As someone who has never dated before, these videos have given me valuable knowledge while I also can watch great edits about shows I like. Though, I wouldn't call myself completely clueless, I am quite naive, so thank you for giving me eye-openers. Great to see how you have passion for educating people on matters, which aren't taught in (most) schools.😊Stay healthy!
same, i'm so appreciative such videos! it will help me find a healthy love in future and be careful of toxic love around me!
I love this especially that you included Cheer Up. I saw so many people romanticizing Suho's behavior and saying that they wanted him with Haeyi like she didn't say "no" over and over and over. Guys who don't listen to a girls no at the start probably won't listen to it later. Thats so dangerous and no means no. Asking for her weakness...nothing like what flowers she likes or what her favorite movie is?🚩🚩 Kissing her when she's blackout drunk? 🚩🚩🚩 it makes me nervous seeing so many ppl go 🥰😍 when guys do things like this
This was beautifully done, you managed to get the point and emotion through with the scenes, colouring and the music - truly a masterpiece once again.
That was a wonderful edit. You've portrayed the topic very clearly by choosing the right scenes. I think there are many more shows that need to be included in this category, especially the ones that are glorified as cult classics despite the toxic traits of male leads in them (boys over flowers for example). Rather than glorifying tropes such as bullying the one you like, ignoring consents and refusals, it's time for dramas to portray healthy relationships such as the one in Run On.
I have a series of videos on this subject :) ! th-cam.com/play/PLs3PRZziKKpYtY1URFTMhzMcEfp2Qsboa.html
baek in hyuk always used to to portray red flag roles and people wanted the female lead to end up with him, and now that he is playing a green flag they want the main lead to end up with the second lead who is also a red flag.
God your explanation and the whole article is surreal. You’ve said everything we could ever think to say, I love the way it seemed like you were telling a story within a story. Good job👍🏻 . Have you ever thought of giving writing a try?
I actually wrote a few fanfictions but I'm not good at finishing my work haha I'm also a graduate in Philosophy so I kind of write 'articles' sometimes
I'm so happy that you took my suggestion and put ko mun yeong from it's okay to not be okay in it too 🥰 Even tho I love that couple, they're very toxic and her behaviour was never really treated as such
I appreciate that you added scenes from its okay to not be okay...it was clear as day how she manipulated him into stuff and was following him everywhere but people seem to ignore that when they see their favourite actors and idols playing the part... Lovely edit btw 🙂
the fact that you portrayed how toxic the couple was in it's okay to not be okay as well just proves how good of an editor and critic you are !! I see many always say that they are perfect but I am just thinking of the red flags the FL has shown throughout and wondering if the boy did that would there be the same response-?? like honestly her behavior was a bit scary and also the past should never be used as a way to gain sympathy and excuse their toxic current behavior, 99.9% of the time the mommy and daddy issues will somehow excuse all the disgusting shit done by them!
but also the smile has left your eyes, he genuinely scared me and she really made me question how in the end she was still able to choose him, like he even somehow did kill her best friend directly or not,,, it's as if she forgot that whole part.
and as for tempted, I am not making up excuses for his behavior but I do believe his "friends" played a huge role in the way he executed his terrible personality, though in the end they did eventually split up and he did grow himself to a better person (wish there was more to that tbh)
and also last but not least, the worst portrayal of this trope has got to be the entire boys over flowers series, just because the actors are cute (thai ver.) doesn't mean the behavior of the ML should be excused, I can't wrap my head around how that comic has had so many versions made yet no one sees the jarring amount of toxic behavior in ALL versions.
Eagerly looking forward to your edit!
Every time , every video , explanation of yours is such an eye opener! And makes me question things i see/ have seen in dramas
I've never really paid attention to that before but your video made me realise a lot of romance writers continuously write their "flirtatious" characters as people with issues & predatory behaviour. Which in the end presents 2 different issues:
The one you pointed out in your video and another one that as something to do with the way some people view sex & non romantic partnerships.
Because when you think about it, the fictional fboy is just another version of the bad boy archetype whose bad behaviour is caused by trauma & who will change his ways thanks to the pure heart of the female lead.
Each different bad boy archetype as a reason for which he's bad: the delinquant doesn't follow the rules, the mafioso/asssassin kills people, the loner refuses to socialise, etc
So what's the issue with the flirt? Is it the fact that he acts like a predator? Nope, the writers always present that as romantic. The fact that he treats his partners like 💩? Nope because most of the time it is implied that those girls kinda "deserved" it (they're presented as stupid/mean or just not as great as the female lead), after all a bad boy would never hurt someone who doesn't slightly deserve it (the delinquant only bullies bad guys and the mafioso/assassin only kills criminals, unless it's dark romance but that's another topic) . What makes the flirt bad for the writers is that they're flirts, that they've 0 interest in romance, that's what the female lead will fix. A character cannot be a flirt and not have issues and they cannot be uninterested in romance without being almost abusive.
Of course, female characters who are flirts in romance have it way worse (btw I found the ones you picked to be very interesting profiles: the teenager girl who "tempts" a grown man and the woman with mental health issues that "explain" why she's a predator) than the male characters. They're sl*t shamed by their writers while the male characters are treated like victims. But I really find it interesting how conservative ideologies and heteronormativity continue to influence the romance genre.
Cannot wait ~ I've always liked your edits.
Another masterpiece from Marie✨
You know I love that your edits gives off a certain vibe...I think that's very cool
Marie! I missed you so much! It's another amazing edit from you. I love how your choice of song suits the theme and scenes so well. It's a masterpiece really.
AHHHHH MARIE I'VE MISSED YOUR MASTERPIECES SO MUCH OMG THANK YOU FOR THE TIME AND EFFORT YOU'VE PUT INTO THESE VIDEOS AND A BLOG TOO!
Another day, another slay! I've finished my weak so now I can finally sit down and watch the things I enjoy, this include your videos 😙 I had no idea on how to help you this time so I'm intrigued about what you'll teach us this time 🤓
This being said, the new comment section option is very cool, hope that'll encourage people to post intelligent things.
Would love to see the opposite with some healthy relationships! My personal suggestion would be our sweet lead couples from Thirty But Seventeen and Angel's Last Mission: Love, our badass couple from Happiness and our Crash Landing On You couple :)
I already made one :)
Dudee shim hae sun dramas are always so good. Like angel last mission and still 17
What a masterpiece 👌👌
This is soo good and your writhing is fantastic!!! Also, I think a video about healthy relationships will be a great comparation, of course if you do so wish to do it. I know you did one in the past and I found out so many wonderfull shows that I would not found elseware, but that amount of content is so little and its good to spread the positivity. (sorry for bad english, keep the good work :D )
Thank you !! I already have one on my channel :) th-cam.com/video/i2f7UufPmxM/w-d-xo.html
@@marietb haha, yeah I did say that I knew that you did one in the past
also why does song kang get the toxic bad boy role like let my man have a good role for once please 😭😭
thank you for adding both female and male examples!!
Most of this is all true and they all had toxic relationships but not True beauty it was more heartbreaking and sad but not toxic:)
Hanseojun isn't toxic at all...he was just sad he didn't do a single thing to jugyeong
Read the pinned comment :)
i’m gonna need a weak hero class 1 edit🥹
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true beauty on video omg 😭😭😭😭😭 noooo
I have a question!!
In true beauty, suho was the one who was toxic most of the time but seojun was toxic or not??
Seojun 😭😭😭
Who is the toxic one in Backstreet Rookie? I always see this getting reccomended so I am surprised to see it here.
Is the girl I forgot her name is
Can I have the list of the kdramas please?
Cheer up
Nevertheless
My boyfriend is an gumiho
Smile that left your eyes
Love alarm
True beauty
Its okay to not to be okay
Backstreet rookie
Tempted
yo!!!!
All of these were toxic relationships except Seojun and Jukyeong. Seojun was not toxic at all. It was Suho and Jukyeong who were toxic. Suho would constantly control Jukyeong. He told her to quit her part-time job because she was working with Seojun. Even before Suho and Jukyeong started dating, Suho would control her not letting Seojun talk to her.
I've shown multiple times how Suho was toxic in my other videos (I even made a video especially on him). But I also wanted to show that Seojun is yet another cliché in kdramas, because some of his actions weren't healthy. It doesn't change the fact that Suho was controling
suho should be here instead of seo jun
He's already in all the previous videos 😅 And Seojun fits the subject of the video more
HAN SEO JUN???? WDYM BY HE'S TOXIC? BRUH😭😭😭
ماشفت البث
slayyyy
0:49??
Tempted
Sorry but why does seojun true beauty enter this video? Isn't suho far more alarming than him??
Exactly suho was a red flag walking
@@HobanProduction no suho is more toxic and he doesn't have any character development, also they are romanticizing his toxic traits, seojun is less toxic and have character development also during the show he was realizing his mistakes faster and try to fix himself,and another point they don't romanticize him that's why i think suho is the real red flag to me
@@HobanProduction i know they were bad in many things but again suho never changed also he treats juyeong as his toy from the start and he will never let her go, seojun looks normal to me, suho is creepy and manipulative, he never even care to tell seojun the truth about their friend and didn't care to help his childhood friend kangsoojin even though he knew why she got abused by her dad because she always got second or third place in the school but he didn't care to help or even ask her if she is okay, he didn't even care about his father when he was in a coma and was crying over the girl and didn't even apologize to him after blaming his father about their friend especially his dad told him the truth , all i can say that suho is bad with so many people around him and only care about the girl but still acting like victim, they are normalizing suho toxic treats that's why i think he is the worst
Thank you thank you thank you for this, toxic abusive relationships are so much more common then people seem to think, and with such a variety of different kinds of abusive behavior that doesn't always include physical assault (emotional, verbal, overbearingly possessive, etc)...anyone can be abused by their intimate partner, doesn't matter their gender or size/strength, the toxicity of abuse in a relationship is pervasive because once it starts it just continues to grow like a malignant cancer, it DOES NOT go away or stop because the abuser is incapable of change no matter what their victim does to 'make things better/make their partner happy' ...if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship please reach out for help, either with friends/family or a national domestic abuse hotline...do not wait and hope for things to change, you have so much more worth and value then to be an emotional/physical punching bag for someone else, you are loved and cherished, and most of all you will be mourned if the worse were to happen so please do not hesitate to get help and get somewhere safe where you no longer have to live in pain and fear 🫂❤️🩹🫶🏻