Thanks for this! I'm turning 50 next month and never married or had kids and often feel different from my peers. Many of them judge me also for not wanting the hustle. They are all Directors and Chiefs now, and I'm just a Sr. Manager. They talk to me like I need to strive for more and question me like they don't understand why I'm not motivated to make Director. My motto follows Robert Frost's poem the road not taken and that I took the road less traveled by, but it has made all the difference :) You just have to have the strength to accept that others will judge you for your choices and know that they were the right ones for you! We all have different wants/needs, and it's ok if our lives are not cookie cutter!
My best friend died last month (78)...she was extremely social and lived life to the fullest. She was always giving you stuff (whether you wanted it or not) and cooking for others. She bought most of her clothes at Old Navy (made them look fabulous)! Her apartment was modest...but she loved it and it fit her needs. She didnt know the extent of my luxury addiction and always encouraged me to wear and use my stuff. I tend to be a bit of a hoarder...ahem collector...and have decided to curb the spending on luxury items and enjoy what I own. As I helped clear out her apartment one of her friends said.."this is how we all will end up, someone clearing out our stuff." I thought I was her "best" friend but have come to realize that each of her friends was her "best" friend. Isn't that wonderful that someone can make you feel so special? To work you are replaceable but to loved ones you are one of a kind. Anyway....enjoy life and spend time with those you love and who love you...every moment is precious.
Why is it that once we reach our goals we should set more for ourselves? Being content with our life means that we're satisfied with what we have and who we are 😌 ✨️ love this video Dayle!
Dayle, you haven’t lost your mojo…your hustle, you’re transforming and transcending, pursuing new journeys, perspectives and interests! It’s a beautiful thing. ❤ your video. Posts you share don’t always have to focus on handbags or other lux items. They’re fun and I enjoy, yet I greatly appreciate the reflections and musings you share with us. 😊
Thank you for sharing this, Dayle! I‘m a bit younger and definitely feel that there is much more to come in my professional life but I also realized that it doesn‘t have to be only the climbing up higher and higher. There was an opportunity last year which was temping at the first sight but I quickly realized that it would make me miserable (considering the overall situation of this particular job) and I decided that my personal peace of mind and happiness is weighting higher for me. I had to learn in the past how not to do the ‚right things‘ and how to truly feel what’s best for me and go for it. This journey and where I am now just makes me happy. It’s nice to see you staying true to yourself, this is what I wish every person could experience.
My husband and I are the same way! We aren’t a big party people. We’ve been married 17 years and I find the idea of planning parties more stressful than they’re worth. We didn’t have a big wedding and we don’t throw huge parties for our kids either. This video completely makes me feel seen. I just want to comfortably make my way through the rest of my life.
One of the beautiful things nobody really tells you about moving into your 40s (and even more in your 50s) is how freeing it is to shift your focus away from making life choices that make people outside of your innermost circle happy and toward your own enjoyment. I've been self-employed for 10 years now. I make more than I ever did as an employee, and I get to spend the majority of my working hours doing things I find fulfilling and enjoyable. I've learned to brush it off when well-meaning friends take a break from complaining about their own jobs to send me job postings, lol.
This is really interesting Dayle, thanks for sharing. I completely hear you on people asking when you'll hire team members etc. but that doesn't always mean happiness or success, infact quite the opposite if you don't want it. great chat!
I can definitely relate to much of this. My husband and I have chosen the route of simplifying life and early retirement. Although by most standards we aren’t living the simple life. And I do just have a made up story I use now for small talk when because it’s simply easier. Most just can’t comprehend a different way of doing things and seeing outside their own lense
Oh yes, retirement is one of the next big steps and I believe we will be doing it differently than most we know. I love that you have a story to simplify it!
Hi Dayle, I would flip this around the other way and say you are already a success. You are a very successful business consultant, with a good income, have financial independence, and have a loving marriage. That is success. These are inspirations for many people. I wouldn’t feel downbeat on all these things. You are to be admired xx
Oh Samantha, that is so kind. I think I feel good about my choices but I wonder if I’m taking an easy road and that’s a waste of a good life or that is a good life?
You bought up questions I ask myself all the time! I really hustled to get to my happiness today, and sometimes think about where my extreme hustling abilities went 😂! Listening to you I realised I haven’t lost my hustle at all, it’s just that my hustle is so much more relaxed because I know and trust what I’m doing 😎. Thank you for your thought provoking topic ❤.
You're living your passion Jane and what's been pointed out to me is that contentment is actually the alien feeling and that's good but so uncomfortable because we rarely feel it!
I totally get it. I’m 65 but at your age I had started and run 2 successful businesses. I had enough to be comfortable and travel. I was that Type A hard driven goal oriented achiever. I think some of what you are feeling starts to come naturally as you mature. This is a journey unique to each of us. Some of what you decide will be determined by the income you require. My husband and I have completely downsized. I still travel once a year but everything else is small and manageable. With that comes the need for less income. We are extremely happy having less responsibility and less money going out. Many people have to check their ego to live more simply. In the end, be happy without the stress! Life will be sweeter! Our biggest regrets looking back were feeling like we had to keep up with the big homes and BMW. We had them all. Getting rid of all of that has given us such freedom!
Everything you stated at 6:45 is my struggle. My hubby and I have a business and since my background had been corporate HR, it made sense I’m the HR director at our company (in addition to other back office stuff). Hiring and managing ppl are no longer the same as in my former corporate world. IT IS SO STRESSFUL bc it’s so much more PERSONAL. I literally have to go to therapy about it sometimes. Not many ppl understand that unless you run your own business. Thx for the video. ❤
Hi darling! What you are trying to say is that you are happy and content! And that is LUXURY! people are always wanting more, looking ahead and never enjoying the moment. You are awesome and and I agree with you! Bless you
Loved this ❤ I’m an IT consultant and we’re child free 😊I have also reached a point in my career where I’m quite happy where I am and don’t feel the need to break any more glass ceilings, just enjoying where I am now ❤
I can relate to every word of this, from the career to the house to the car to the child free 40-something married life. I'll just say...SAME. 🙂 Still figuring it all out. Thanks for sharing, Dayle!
I’m very similar Dayle. I’m 10 yrs on you.For me, the pandemic changed my thought processes. Now I’m more like cash is king, lower my mortgage, spend time with my family and time on myself. Handbags sit very low down on my list now. I still love them but I’m more into maintaining my physical and mental health. I’ve created a new hustle! You could try creating yr own and flicking that switch over. ❤
Great video dayle! Success is different to everyone, but most people haven't reflected on what success really means to them, so instead just assume it's more money/more things. When they see others making choices different to their own, they question if they made the right choices.. misery loves company as they say 😂 You're unapologetically you, living life on your own terms and perhaps going against the grain in your own generation, I massively respect you for that. I'm 28 and the life you have carved out is what many of my peers and younger gen z women want! You're not the odd one out, you're just ahead of time and a trailblazer! When I watch your videos, I always think damn I hope I'm like you in my 40s! Enjoy your extra free time and less life stresses/responsibilities, you're living the blueprint for many of us a generation below, cheers to you!! ❤
In the words of Samantha Jones, "Bravo honey, Bravo!" Dayle, you are a very successful human being in my eyes and you inspire me so much! I loved this video and the reality is, not one size fits all when it comes to a whole lot of things, success is definitely one of them.
Dayle, I have never commented before but watched from the very beginning. But this video made me feel compelled to comment. I am in my thirties, unmarried, and childless, but I just got into my dream job almost four months ago. I genuinely love going to work and I love getting to go home at the end of the day and leave it there. Everyone tells me at my current and previous job that I have potential to make it to Director or Assistant Director. My family thinks the same, but the truth is I'm not sure I want to go much higher even if I am capable of doing it (sometimes I'm not sure if I am). I just don't think I would be very happy and I really want to be happy. It's hard to explain that to people, but I feel like you so beautifully captured it.
Thanks so much for taking the moment to share this with us - I have been so happy to connect with so many people whom all thought we were alone… sometimes this platform is fabulous!
Can totally relate! I have struggled for the last several years when I get asked at work where I see my career going and where I want to be in 5 years, etc. I have no desire to be part of a C suite. That drive and hustle was lost on me a long time ago when my father passed away at 54. I want to enjoy my life and the experiences and memories with my family and friends. Not spend it behind a computer screen.
Oh Lisa, I’m sorry you lost your Dad so young. He has definitely shaped your life and I see you and your family prioritizing all of the important things
I completely understand how you feel. Having employees/ bigger house/ higher positions might count as going up the ladder but the stress and responsibilities that comes with it is also waaay more! Think of how much we can save on skin care and maintenance 😉
Hi Dayle. I just quit my job in a senior role after 20 years. It’s the best decision I could have ever made. I feel like for a new chapter and it feels so good and freeing. Tfs 😊
What a heart warming true to yourself wonderful video beautiful Dayle. You always 'do you' and that is one of your many endearing qualities. You and Mr Addiction were truly meant to find each other and spend your wonderful life together. I loved this video and loved listening to how you feel about your life. Much love. Jenni. XX ❤
Thank you Jenni, we are the most unlikely of couples but we work and making our own way is so great. Others reactions are also entertaining to observe- we used to think everyone was weird, but now we know it’s us!
I can completely understand everything you said. I also relate to most of it. I’m a former accountant & I just couldn’t keep up with the expectations anymore. I absolutely loved my clients (they were/are amazing inspirational people) & am looking for ways to re-connect with people in their demographic without working with them simply because of the wisdom they share when you take a genuine interest. As long as you’re happy, I don’t think other people’s opinions or expectations matter. I love watching your videos because you’re relatable, not because of your love of luxury (I personally don’t have aspirations to own too many more designer items than I already do & am not subscribed to many other designer luxury channels), but because of your personality, your age, the country you live in (I currently live in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland), I don’t have children of my own either, etc. Everyone has their own goals, “normal” is just another way of saying “boring” to me, so I personally love that we’re all a little bit different.
Heidi This comment - thank you! It never occurred to me that people watch my channel for our shared interests and luxury not being one of them. That’s given me a whole new perspective!
I march to the beat of my own drum. People around me always have their own opinions of what they expect of me as a 30 year old professional and i just dont care. What is 'normal' anyway? No one gets to decide my normal but me. ❤ Great video!
These are my favorite videos of yours - ones where you just share your perspective on life. I too love luxury, but not nearly with the voracity you do lol! I just enjoy your candid, humorous personality! Hubs and I decided to go the child free route, and I work part time in events, teach yoga, resell luxury and NOW have a fledgling YT channel. There is no hustle in any of those paths - I just enjoy them. My mom died suddenly a couple of years ago at age 55, and it completely changed my focus to my loved ones, my health and wellness, and enjoyment of the everyday! That’s all that matters to me - being present and loving the simple mundanity of life.
Thank you lovely, I always film and hold them. While thinking about whether they really did my channel and then…when I publish people really connect and I think do more…. But I have the same doubts next time 🤦🏻♀️ I’m sorry you lost your Mum so early, it sounds like loosing her has given you the unexpected gift of a new perspective, remember her in your choices to live simply x
Dayle, this is such a fab video, everything you have said resonates with me as a childless (by choice), self employed lady. I don’t want the hassle of having staff and premises, I don’t want the stress of children. And parties - god no!! You haven’t lost your hustle, you have got your own hustle, doing what makes you happy.
Thank you for sharing your feelings. Sounds like you are successful; you know what you want and you went for it. As long as you and your husband are content with where you are, sit back and enjoy life. I left the corporate life five years ago and have never regretted a moment. Everyday is a holiday!
I felt this, i get questioning stares because i am wanting to step away from the C suite at 41, that in itself will take time but i’ve done that level of work for long enough x
I’m in wild agreement with you! As a fellow coach who also left corporate to start my own business, I have lots to say about this topic as well. When people ask me if I’d go back I used to say that it wouldn’t be kind to my nervous system, but now it’s more the freedom of choice. To choose something other than what society projects as the image of success can feel like being a rebel or swimming against the tide, but it’s possible and there is another way. At the end of the day it’s about tuning into what you want and not what culture and society tell you that you should want. ❤
Dearest Dayle. Now is the time to kick back and enjoy your successes. Thousands love you and your U Tube channel, me included. You have a successful consulting business. If you develop more goals I'm sure you'll achieve them. xxx
I'm a fellow alien... I get it. Me, no kids.. when the opportunities to move up at work came, I took them, but when the really big ones presented , I had a really good think and the answer was clear. Thanks, but no thanks. Took leave , sold the big house ,got rid of excess like boats and stuff, and haven't looked back. My husband and I say 'no one's coming,' and we laugh. It has been a real game changer . We also say, 'You won't find me where you left me'. That road less travelled has made all the difference. ❤ Great video for people to ponder.
This was a fab video and so interesting, loved hearing how your measures of success have evolved and adapted ! Could certainly relate to a lot of these. What I have found interesting over time in my own life is how some of the things I dreamed of when I was young and thought would make me feel successful, actually didn’t when I had them or I felt awkward about them so never enjoyed them fully. Have a wonderful day ☺️☺️
I’m right there with you. I accomplished everything I had ever wanted at 29/30. I know crazy. But now I have no goals, interests or desire to do more. Inner hustler me says do more but there is no goal in mind. That’s where I’m struggling. I feel lost. I need a good kick in the rear to get me back on track. The pandemic really threw me off and my inner hunger to do more went away 😢
House vs home is how it should be. My house isn’t huge but it’s definitely not small. It’s exactly what we need and we are so happy. It’s a home. I love it. I love how you think 🫶🏼
What a great video and a great message! I reflected a bit during the pandemic and realized that I liked my work, but didn’t feel strongly about the purpose/mission. Ultimately made the move to a nonprofit and even though it’s less money, I feel so great about how my efforts contribute to this mission that I believe in very strongly. It has made a huge difference in how fulfilled I feel overall. Not for everyone but it was just right for me!
Hi, I laughed when you told the story about your car. I have a Mercedes and I'm not attached to it either. I lease so there's no attachment. I've had high end cars for the past 20 years but this was the "holy grail" one for me. And to my surprise...it doesn't do anything better than any other car. As a matter of fact I have had issues with it way too many times. I think I had my fill of luxury cars and New York is inundated with car jackers and car thieves so I think I'm going to downsize when this lease is up. I've climbed the ladder in my field, unfortunately the field I chose (social services) the salaries are very low. I'm 55 and my hip hurts so my hustle is definitely tainted, lol. Thanks for sharing! 😊
Amazing video!!! Sending you love! ❤️ People should now understand that no everyone wants a corporate job to become successful! You do whatever make you happy! And that’s enough! 😊
You haven't lost hustle, you've gained perspective. I'm an exec in public service and have recently explained that I'm not interested in being Chief or Dep Sec, I'm looking for the sweet spot of interesting work, balance of accountability, people around me and money. I'm open about it with higher powers and they completely understand, and support it. Same with Husband - some keep saying to expand his business but everyone who has done that wishes back for the sweet spot. We live in a paid off modest home in an 'Australian Dream' location while friends take on crazy mortgages. We could upgrade but I also love my choices here and don't want to give them up for bigger square footage.
Dayle I've been watching you reach this point with great interest as you have a healthy sense of self and your sense of humour is infectious! As I've said a few times, you're a creative. And the creative process necessarily involves error. And there is no urgency. So my when you're ready you won't overthink it you will just do something else with your energy as an adjunct to what you do now, it will gradually become obvious to you. I've suggested painting and drawing but what you end up doing with your excess energy and get differently fulfilled is what you decide. You're already doing it but more is to come. It's a journey for all of us, a truism but when you deeply feel that, material things definitely gain perspective. It's funny how the desired object starts to lose its lustre ever so slowly and then you realise, yes I still like it but it's not 'to die for' anymore.
@@DaylesAddiction I'm a very tiny sub-influencer Dayle operating in the shadow world of YT comment...lol! (and I made a grammatical error in my post above but never mind!). But my point is the made to order Fendi isn't going to have popular appeal and that's OK. A true artist walks to the beat of their own drum. Such a person isn't market-driven and in some ways it's better to make a living in the commercial world to fund your artistic endeavours. So keeping any need for popular acceptance apart from art means you truly can be autonomous. If that makes sense. JIMO.
I was born into a family (immediate family only..) of 'my life my rules' so i get it. Keep doing you Dayle and block out the noise, but you are good at that so I have full faith youll live a thriving life. from my own context - I was raised partly in asia, my parents currently live in Iraq, I run marathons instead of drinking alcohol, amongst other things, so yeah I have felt like an outsider my whole life😂😂😂 I honestly fully embrace it, I love being on the outside. It's pretty darn good out here. Keep going Dayle!
We put so much pressure on ourselves to ‘conform’ but for what reason? I stepped away from my career last year and I have never felt so free! Go with your gut! It never lets you down. It’s irrelevant what others think x
Awww we’re the same age, you have such a baby face (that’s a good thing😆)Girl I feel the same way!! My manager asked me why I wasn’t in a higher position because with the way I work I should be. I thought to myself ‘more money more problems’. As much as I could use more money I’m cool with my current role 😂 When God is ready for me to move up it will happen but as for now I’m in no hurry. And as for parties, I’m right there with you 😂
Thank you for sharing. It sounds that you know exactly what you are doing and know what makes you happy and that is success. I wish you the best with all you are doing.
You are definitely doing it right. Do not doubt yourself unless the doubts are real ones coming from within. The doubts planted in your life from other people are ones you should not listen to.
Dayle, I completely understand what you mean and you have not lost your hustle and I have not lost mine either. I agree, there seems to be an old/out dated thinking that a successful life is one that has linear progression with a "better" job title, a "better" car, a "better" house. These are all things pretty much material things but what about job satisfaction and less stress. I am in my mid to late 40's and was asked if I wanted to go into management ("move up") many many years ago but I wasn't interested in that job or the "hustle"/game to move up the corporate ladder where I work and have no regrets but I did end up taking different jobs at the same organization. Besides, it is unclear what is involved in some of these higher paying jobs based on a title but because it is higher pay some people define themselves by their jobs and to them they have become a success. I think it is how you live your life everyday/inner growth that makes a person a success and as long as you are happy/satisfied and managing everything fine then that is all that matters, there is nothing wrong with staying in one place to still be a success. Thanks for sharing Xx.
Thanks for sharing your own experience Elina - you're so right. I have coached people who had the 'top job' just waiting for them and instead designed their own 'dream job' which was just amazing and inspiring to witness.
I totally agree. I work in the corporate world, love my job and I’m happy where I am. I don’t have aspirations to move up more, because my career isn’t my identity. Also, the extra money isn’t worth the extra stress and workload. I value my work life balance, and the fact that when I go home, I don’t bring work with me. I am motivated to do my best and enjoy taking on new projects, but I don’t feel the need for the higher title.
I currently work as an independent IT contractor, I’ve got no title, but earn more than the bunnies who do! I can also work as much or little as I choose, and am responsible for nothing. An enviable position to be in.
Are any of us ‘normal’? What does that even look like anymore? I think we live the life that works for us and no one has a right to pass judgment on our choices. You do you! A happy Dayle is a fun Dayle!
Not to mention all the upkeep and maintenance work , cleaning that a McMansion entails. Also, there’s nothing more depressing than a massive home where many rooms are never ever used ( eg: dining room, sitting room ). It almost feels like a ghost wing of the house to me. A warm, cozy home is so essential to our wellbeing
Great topic Dayle. I wonder sometimes if we are actually being taught to question whether we are truly happy/content and feeling successful- like a kind of gaslighting! I’m pretty sure the constant striving for more or bigger or better is not in most people’s best interest- but somehow we are made to feel we should be and in a corporate environment that striving normally benefits someone else! Sorry if that sounds a bit cynical - I don’t think how you are feeling sounds alien, I think it sounds like knowing yourself well and what fits best for you and your husband ❤
That's an interesting point Fiona - you're right - turning away from what we know will fulfil us is really foiling our own success to the benefit of some other anonymous soul!
I‘ve never been into reaching cooperate milestones as status symbol or big business success, eventhough I do enjoy the fine things in life. But the biggest succes one can achieve, is beeing actually happy (which is not necessarily connected to money or a prestigious job). Not having to worry too much about money for sure helps, but everything over a certain point is just „bonus“ and maybe not even worth the stress to get there. My thoughts on the topic 💕
I think contentment and fulfillment are coming through strongly for me in the comments… such an odd tension in these feelings. We kind of aren’t taught to recognize them as easily as others.
100% agree and understand. I stepped down from a leadership role so I could work at home which saves me 3 hours a day! Commuting is a soul sucker and complete waste of time. I spent so much time and energy keeping my team happy and employed and now I just worry about me. I do my work and at the end of the day I am DONE. No after hours phone calls or texts while I am hiking, shopping, traveling or with my family. I am about 6 years from retirement and just going to ride it out . I am not interested in any brass ring…but I will take a diamond one! 😂
Do what makes you happy.... Only ....forget what others do or say. I was so driven at work until I had a meltdown it's then I realised what matters to me. I'm 42 and lost my hussle at work but gained other interests.... like handbags 😅. Keep smiling 😃 life is too short. Kisses from dubai
WE have just sold our house to down size. We want a smaller house so we have more time for each other and our two teenage children. It is more about who you live with and not where you live. I turn 50 in eighteen months and I want to go away for it. I have no interest in a party. Great video. Do what makes you happy.
Dayle we’re all different, not only job, bag, lifestyle but health wise. If you have yr health & Mr. A is recovering from his surgery. My life was going in a totally different direction until several sliding doors moments. 6 MVA’s over both hemispheres & trapped under building scaffolding (no I wasn’t driving started my “crash career @ 18 mths of age). Trust me you haven’t lost “yr hustle” as long as you have yr health it’s the diamond in yr corner. You have a lovely hubby, house & what you need & can fill-in the wants “blank” whenever you so desire. There’s no need to move house, you love where you live. No use being the richest person in the grave yard, enjoy yr life throw yr shoulders back & “be in the moment”. Yes I have friends that have huge businesses, others that have been married & now single & a few that are still happily married with or without children I accept people as they are & “variety is the spice of life”. I’m so happy that you have yr own consulting business & do what you with such aplomb. 😘💐 PS give Gary a hug pigeon lovers unite LOL
Min you always bring perspective and humour. You’re right, without health, the other choices pale. Gary says hi!! But he may avoid traveling in a vehicle with you, he’s very delicate! 😘
It's actually liberating to live your own version of a rich life. A lot of people who are climbing the ladder probably want to get off that treadmill right now.
I can relate to this so much, I’m a one man business and I don’t want more ! We eloped to Barbados on our own to get Married and it’s our 10 year anniversary next year that will also elope for and celebrate on our own ! I have no children through choice so can’t relate with a lot of people my age but I do find that I’m expected to visit others and don’t get many visitors (which I actually secretly love) but I’m happy as things are ❤
I can completely relate and the worst thing is that im like this since i was a kid. I never really had any ambition. Everything i have done kinda fell out of nowhere and landed on my hand. Even my career i was applying for an internship for a role in accounting and due to some internal issues i was asked to help the AML department and now i have a career in AML. I refused the promotions i was given because i wanted to maintain my work-life balance ⚖️. People looked down on that but i couldn’t care less. I don’t really have any goals in terms of career and i think the only ambition i have is i want to get a role where i can work for less months in a year like 7/8 months and have 4/5 months unpaid leave. Im not really sure this is realistic but moving up the ladder sounds such a hastle for me. When it comes to family i dont want to have that either. I just want minimum responsibilities possible
Aaah you sound like us. We did a Weddingmoon just the 2 of us. We didn’t want the stress of a huge party. You can’t please everybody. Once we married thru the church (cause it was a 2nd marriage for me) then we had a simple dinner with close family and a few friends. Like 80 people. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve mentioned. As we get older we look at things differently and what really matters, and what’s important to both of you. It’s ok to not want more. Sometimes the higher up the chain you move, it’s more stress and more hours. It’s all about quality of life. 😊. Plus the bigger the house the more rooms to clean, or the more we have to pay the cleaning ladies. Those are funds for the bag and vacation bucket. 😊
I am very close in age to you. I have seen colleagues about ten years older retire and are now trying to downsize and move to a smaller home. I have friends and family who recently made decisions to earn less as they value their time more than money, and/or got out of managerial positions to reduce the stress in their life. I either associate with those in a non-traditional crowd, or the line of thinking you speak about is becoming more common!
I loved this video, i can understand everything but writing what i feel is a different story. You are such a beautiful and special woman, lots of love from Holland again. (And you do not look 42!!! ,32 was my guess, )💘💞💜💜
I truly think that people get caught up in hustle and they think that it’s good. Though I believe we are here for fun, love and laughter, not working all the time. Life is meant to be easy and if you follow your highest excitement in all things then it will flow naturally and be easy. Anyway my point is, you get it! 🎉😂❤
Sometimes it’s hard to see people work themselves into poor health and stress and broken relationships for their other goals…. I hate watching that happen.
Dayle, I'm 30 and have no hustle haha! I don't think anything you're saying is odd or alien at all! I have so much freedom in my schedule, and I wouldn't trade that for a boost in "status" (corporate or social). Also, when it comes to celebrating your marriage, of course have a party whenever you want, but it sounds like you celebrate your marriage everyday. Ben and I got married with 7 people present, and I feel we celebrate our life together with friends and family every time we catch up over coffee or go out to dinner. None if this sounds bad if you're content ❤Did you 'lose' your hustle *or* did you ditch a mentality that no longer served you?
I hear you. The life season of bigger and better and hustle hustle left well before Covid and those two years of lockdowns just cemented it firmly in place. I would like to say that eventually the comments about how and why you choose to spend your time and energy differently stop …
You know you’ve lost your hustle when you look at things like a new job or a new house and think it’s just a lot of work. I’d love some tips on how to explain to people that you don’t want to entertain, you don’t particularly enjoy parties, you enjoy your own company and you don’t mind being alone.
Leslie!! Oh I feel you!! Tips - don’t explain, just learn to get better at politely declining invites. I think we can tend to over explain. We decided to start saying no a lot more and once you get into the hang of it, it’s so easy. Or to say not then but can do an alternative…. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.
I feel you Dayle! I don’t want children, romantic relationships or excessive spending. Further, I want to be self employed with no employees so I can totally relate with the feeling of being different or bucking norms😂
I just relinquished a permanent public position to a life as a casual. All job security gone. I left as Iwas being bullied and I couldn’t take it anymore, I no longer prescribe to the hustle. I inherited money and around the same time and lost another parent. Life is hard and people can’t be utter a holes. Stuff the hustle.
It’s funny how the way you feel about these things change over time as I feel a lot the same and we too got married elsewhere with just our closest and always said at 10 tyrars we’d renew and do something bigger and then 15 then it was 20 years and now I have no interest in doing it at all 🤷🏼♀️
If there are billions of people on this planet, there should be billions of ways to live your life and have happiness. Sometimes, what makes us happy changes with life's experiences. Do you and focus on what makes you happy today.😊
I’ve never ever had any corporate bone in my body 😂 I’m a hands on, help others type of person. Any one being all judgy is just sad and shallow. Life only happens once so do what you love and be kind. The end ❤😊
Thank you for sharing your thoughts I am younger than you and don't have the drive to work the office politics to climb the corporate ladder. I am simply not interested in more responsibilities and being in the limelight. I am happy with an 8 to 6 job from Monday to Friday and even better if I can work from home. I see younger people being promoted and I seriously don't care much. I was hired for my knowledge and experience, nowhere in my job description was listed I had to kiss @ss. I also prefer to keep my distance from most colleagues because they only talk about money, bonuses and the best bar to go have drinks, they have a very shallow and empty life IMO. To me, it is important my faith, family, friends and to travel to see my family since I live on my own. And I can live within my means in a humble place, pay for my plane tickets and save for the future. when the day I need more money comes, I will simply switch jobs because that is how you move upwards in NYC. People here move every 2 to 3 years to climb the ladder or to improve work conditions.
I'm a similar age and this totally resonates! I'm successful by most standards, at a good corporate level, but I feel the not having kids really chages things. Whereas people with kids are always busy, I have the luxury (and curse!) of getting to fill my time. but I also feel I need to work to add meaning to my life if that makes sense? Such a complicated topic :/ Long story short I feel you, but how do we add meaning and ambitions?
Purpose? I think if we know our purpose it doesn’t matter if we’re busy or not, when we do any activity or engage in any relationship we live our purpose- mine is ‘I strive to be proud of everything I’m a part of’.
We all have different lives, we all make different choices and those choices should be respected. For me, I spent most of my life raising a family and my career wasn’t important. Now in my late 50’s career is important to me but I still don’t know what I REALLY want to do when I grow up 😂 I do wonder what could have been if I’d made different choices when I was younger. IDK 🤷🏼♀️ P.S. off topic, what happened with you and Dacob on his live? I came in right at the end. Sounded serious, Dacob was grumpy.
That's right - we do Gianna and at times we can call feel alone and I think it's been great to hear from so many on this topic. The livestream was very upsetting for many reasons.
Thanks for this! I'm turning 50 next month and never married or had kids and often feel different from my peers. Many of them judge me also for not wanting the hustle. They are all Directors and Chiefs now, and I'm just a Sr. Manager. They talk to me like I need to strive for more and question me like they don't understand why I'm not motivated to make Director. My motto follows Robert Frost's poem the road not taken and that I took the road less traveled by, but it has made all the difference :) You just have to have the strength to accept that others will judge you for your choices and know that they were the right ones for you! We all have different wants/needs, and it's ok if our lives are not cookie cutter!
Thanks for sharing Lee, I think it’s empowering to edit that ‘busy’ out of our lives 💕
My best friend died last month (78)...she was extremely social and lived life to the fullest. She was always giving you stuff (whether you wanted it or not) and cooking for others. She bought most of her clothes at Old Navy (made them look fabulous)! Her apartment was modest...but she loved it and it fit her needs. She didnt know the extent of my luxury addiction and always encouraged me to wear and use my stuff. I tend to be a bit of a hoarder...ahem collector...and have decided to curb the spending on luxury items and enjoy what I own. As I helped clear out her apartment one of her friends said.."this is how we all will end up, someone clearing out our stuff." I thought I was her "best" friend but have come to realize that each of her friends was her "best" friend. Isn't that wonderful that someone can make you feel so special? To work you are replaceable but to loved ones you are one of a kind. Anyway....enjoy life and spend time with those you love and who love you...every moment is precious.
🥹🥹🥹
This really hit me in the head and the heart, what a beautiful story- thank you for sharing 💕
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Why is it that once we reach our goals we should set more for ourselves? Being content with our life means that we're satisfied with what we have and who we are 😌 ✨️ love this video Dayle!
Nicole that’s such a great point - is contentment such a strange feeling we don’t recognize it as good!
Dayle, you haven’t lost your mojo…your hustle, you’re transforming and transcending, pursuing new journeys, perspectives and interests! It’s a beautiful thing. ❤ your video. Posts you share don’t always have to focus on handbags or other lux items. They’re fun and I enjoy, yet I greatly appreciate the reflections and musings you share with us. 😊
Thank you so much for sharing those lovely thoughts... I'll try to incorporate more musings.
Thank you for sharing this, Dayle! I‘m a bit younger and definitely feel that there is much more to come in my professional life but I also realized that it doesn‘t have to be only the climbing up higher and higher. There was an opportunity last year which was temping at the first sight but I quickly realized that it would make me miserable (considering the overall situation of this particular job) and I decided that my personal peace of mind and happiness is weighting higher for me. I had to learn in the past how not to do the ‚right things‘ and how to truly feel what’s best for me and go for it. This journey and where I am now just makes me happy.
It’s nice to see you staying true to yourself, this is what I wish every person could experience.
Sometimes saying no is the most empowering thing you can do! Thank you for sharing Lexi!
There is no such thing as normal 😂 and as long as you are both happy, that’s all that matters in your world 💕
There is plenty of normal where I live 🤣
To hell with "traditional". Your life - your rules. Basically, you live your life like you choose your bags. By staying true to yourself. ♥
With furry things and fake birds!
@@DaylesAddiction 😂😂😂 I just spit out my tea
My husband and I are the same way! We aren’t a big party people. We’ve been married 17 years and I find the idea of planning parties more stressful than they’re worth. We didn’t have a big wedding and we don’t throw huge parties for our kids either. This video completely makes me feel seen. I just want to comfortably make my way through the rest of my life.
I see you Jane and there are quite a few of us I’ve discovered! Phew, we aren’t alone!
It’s often on the road less travelled that one finds the magic in life. Thanks for the authentic and refreshing content 😊
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
One of the beautiful things nobody really tells you about moving into your 40s (and even more in your 50s) is how freeing it is to shift your focus away from making life choices that make people outside of your innermost circle happy and toward your own enjoyment.
I've been self-employed for 10 years now. I make more than I ever did as an employee, and I get to spend the majority of my working hours doing things I find fulfilling and enjoyable. I've learned to brush it off when well-meaning friends take a break from complaining about their own jobs to send me job postings, lol.
🤣🤣🤣 thanks but I’m good!
This is so inspirational Veronica - thank you for sharing!
This is really interesting Dayle, thanks for sharing. I completely hear you on people asking when you'll hire team members etc. but that doesn't always mean happiness or success, infact quite the opposite if you don't want it. great chat!
Thanks Steph, I’m about to take on a new career challenge and feel like this video may have shaken me! 🤣🤣
@@DaylesAddiction Owww can't wait to hear about that! Exciting times
I can definitely relate to much of this. My husband and I have chosen the route of simplifying life and early retirement. Although by most standards we aren’t living the simple life. And I do just have a made up story I use now for small talk when because it’s simply easier. Most just can’t comprehend a different way of doing things and seeing outside their own lense
Oh yes, retirement is one of the next big steps and I believe we will be doing it differently than most we know. I love that you have a story to simplify it!
Hi Dayle, I would flip this around the other way and say you are already a success. You are a very successful business consultant, with a good income, have financial independence, and have a loving marriage. That is success. These are inspirations for many people. I wouldn’t feel downbeat on all these things. You are to be admired xx
Oh Samantha, that is so kind. I think I feel good about my choices but I wonder if I’m taking an easy road and that’s a waste of a good life or that is a good life?
@@DaylesAddiction all you need to ask yourself is “am I happy?” AND “will we have funds at retirement to take care of ourselves?” NOTHING ELSE.
You bought up questions I ask myself all the time! I really hustled to get to my happiness today, and sometimes think about where my extreme hustling abilities went 😂! Listening to you I realised I haven’t lost my hustle at all, it’s just that my hustle is so much more relaxed because I know and trust what I’m doing 😎. Thank you for your thought provoking topic ❤.
You're living your passion Jane and what's been pointed out to me is that contentment is actually the alien feeling and that's good but so uncomfortable because we rarely feel it!
@@DaylesAddiction FACTS!!!
Thank you again for an eye opening, thought provoking video 💖
I totally get it. I’m 65 but at your age I had started and run 2 successful businesses. I had enough to be comfortable and travel. I was that Type A hard driven goal oriented achiever. I think some of what you are feeling starts to come naturally as you mature. This is a journey unique to each of us. Some of what you decide will be determined by the income you require. My husband and I have completely downsized. I still travel once a year but everything else is small and manageable. With that comes the need for less income. We are extremely happy having less responsibility and less money going out. Many people have to check their ego to live more simply. In the end, be happy without the stress! Life will be sweeter! Our biggest regrets looking back were feeling like we had to keep up with the big homes and BMW. We had them all. Getting rid of all of that has given us such freedom!
Freedom to do and be as you please! Great and inspiring share, thank you!
I'm glad you've realized this and are happy with it. I understand.
Thanks Autumn 🙌🏼
Everything you stated at 6:45 is my struggle. My hubby and I have a business and since my background had been corporate HR, it made sense I’m the HR director at our company (in addition to other back office stuff). Hiring and managing ppl are no longer the same as in my former corporate world. IT IS SO STRESSFUL bc it’s so much more PERSONAL. I literally have to go to therapy about it sometimes. Not many ppl understand that unless you run your own business. Thx for the video. ❤
It’s really really tough, I support a few small businesses and I see their anguish. Keep going and fulfilling your ambitions!!
Hi darling! What you are trying to say is that you are happy and content! And that is LUXURY! people are always wanting more, looking ahead and never enjoying the moment. You are awesome and and I agree with you! Bless you
You’re right - it’s a weird feeling but it’s lovely!
Loved this ❤ I’m an IT consultant and we’re child free 😊I have also reached a point in my career where I’m quite happy where I am and don’t feel the need to break any more glass ceilings, just enjoying where I am now ❤
It’s an odd feeling to find contentment at this time in life
I can relate to every word of this, from the career to the house to the car to the child free 40-something married life. I'll just say...SAME. 🙂 Still figuring it all out. Thanks for sharing, Dayle!
I think we will always be figuring it out and that’s life! I see you 💕
I’m very similar Dayle. I’m 10 yrs on you.For me, the pandemic changed my thought processes. Now I’m more like cash is king, lower my mortgage, spend time with my family and time on myself. Handbags sit very low down on my list now. I still love them but I’m more into maintaining my physical and mental health. I’ve created a new hustle! You could try creating yr own and flicking that switch over. ❤
I’ve been focusing on health more the past three weeks and making it my new challenge. Small things each day consistently…. Feels good!
Great video dayle! Success is different to everyone, but most people haven't reflected on what success really means to them, so instead just assume it's more money/more things. When they see others making choices different to their own, they question if they made the right choices.. misery loves company as they say 😂 You're unapologetically you, living life on your own terms and perhaps going against the grain in your own generation, I massively respect you for that. I'm 28 and the life you have carved out is what many of my peers and younger gen z women want! You're not the odd one out, you're just ahead of time and a trailblazer! When I watch your videos, I always think damn I hope I'm like you in my 40s! Enjoy your extra free time and less life stresses/responsibilities, you're living the blueprint for many of us a generation below, cheers to you!! ❤
Clare... thank you, can you be my fabulous younger mentor!
In the words of Samantha Jones, "Bravo honey, Bravo!"
Dayle, you are a very successful human being in my eyes and you inspire me so much! I loved this video and the reality is, not one size fits all when it comes to a whole lot of things, success is definitely one of them.
You’re always so kind and fabulous! Thank you 💕
Dayle, I have never commented before but watched from the very beginning. But this video made me feel compelled to comment. I am in my thirties, unmarried, and childless, but I just got into my dream job almost four months ago. I genuinely love going to work and I love getting to go home at the end of the day and leave it there. Everyone tells me at my current and previous job that I have potential to make it to Director or Assistant Director. My family thinks the same, but the truth is I'm not sure I want to go much higher even if I am capable of doing it (sometimes I'm not sure if I am). I just don't think I would be very happy and I really want to be happy. It's hard to explain that to people, but I feel like you so beautifully captured it.
Thanks so much for taking the moment to share this with us - I have been so happy to connect with so many people whom all thought we were alone… sometimes this platform is fabulous!
that neckline is so beautiful on you, dayle! perfect to wear with this topic.
Thank you 😊
Can totally relate! I have struggled for the last several years when I get asked at work where I see my career going and where I want to be in 5 years, etc. I have no desire to be part of a C suite. That drive and hustle was lost on me a long time ago when my father passed away at 54. I want to enjoy my life and the experiences and memories with my family and friends. Not spend it behind a computer screen.
Oh Lisa, I’m sorry you lost your Dad so young. He has definitely shaped your life and I see you and your family prioritizing all of the important things
I completely understand how you feel. Having employees/ bigger house/ higher positions might count as going up the ladder but the stress and responsibilities that comes with it is also waaay more! Think of how much we can save on skin care and maintenance 😉
Oh I know
Our current home and garden is too much!!
Hi Dayle. I just quit my job in a senior role after 20 years. It’s the best decision I could have ever made. I feel like for a new chapter and it feels so good and freeing. Tfs 😊
Congratulations that’s so inspirational!
What a heart warming true to yourself wonderful video beautiful Dayle. You always 'do you' and that is one of your many endearing qualities. You and Mr Addiction were truly meant to find each other and spend your wonderful life together. I loved this video and loved listening to how you feel about your life. Much love. Jenni. XX ❤
Thank you Jenni, we are the most unlikely of couples but we work and making our own way is so great. Others reactions are also entertaining to observe- we used to think everyone was weird, but now we know it’s us!
I can completely understand everything you said. I also relate to most of it. I’m a former accountant & I just couldn’t keep up with the expectations anymore. I absolutely loved my clients (they were/are amazing inspirational people) & am looking for ways to re-connect with people in their demographic without working with them simply because of the wisdom they share when you take a genuine interest.
As long as you’re happy, I don’t think other people’s opinions or expectations matter. I love watching your videos because you’re relatable, not because of your love of luxury (I personally don’t have aspirations to own too many more designer items than I already do & am not subscribed to many other designer luxury channels), but because of your personality, your age, the country you live in (I currently live in the Sunshine Coast Hinterland), I don’t have children of my own either, etc. Everyone has their own goals, “normal” is just another way of saying “boring” to me, so I personally love that we’re all a little bit different.
Heidi
This comment - thank you! It never occurred to me that people watch my channel for our shared interests and luxury not being one of them.
That’s given me a whole new perspective!
I march to the beat of my own drum. People around me always have their own opinions of what they expect of me as a 30 year old professional and i just dont care. What is 'normal' anyway? No one gets to decide my normal but me. ❤ Great video!
So well said 👏👏👏
These are my favorite videos of yours - ones where you just share your perspective on life. I too love luxury, but not nearly with the voracity you do lol! I just enjoy your candid, humorous personality! Hubs and I decided to go the child free route, and I work part time in events, teach yoga, resell luxury and NOW have a fledgling YT channel. There is no hustle in any of those paths - I just enjoy them. My mom died suddenly a couple of years ago at age 55, and it completely changed my focus to my loved ones, my health and wellness, and enjoyment of the everyday! That’s all that matters to me - being present and loving the simple mundanity of life.
Thank you lovely, I always film and hold them. While thinking about whether they really did my channel and then…when I publish people really connect and I think do more…. But I have the same doubts next time 🤦🏻♀️
I’m sorry you lost your Mum so early, it sounds like loosing her has given you the unexpected gift of a new perspective, remember her in your choices to live simply x
Agreed different people have different paths. As long as the path that you are on makes you content and happy, that's most important.
It’s odd that I didn’t recognize it as contentment initially - a weird tension about not doing anything other than what I want… thanks Andrew
Dayle, this is such a fab video, everything you have said resonates with me as a childless (by choice), self employed lady. I don’t want the hassle of having staff and premises, I don’t want the stress of children. And parties - god no!! You haven’t lost your hustle, you have got your own hustle, doing what makes you happy.
Here’s to you Stella 🥂and thanks for clapping me!!
Thank you for sharing your feelings. Sounds like you are successful; you know what you want and you went for it. As long as you and your husband are content with where you are, sit back and enjoy life. I left the corporate life five years ago and have never regretted a moment. Everyday is a holiday!
Thanks Phyllis - contentment is oddly disconcerting, so unfamiliar
I felt this, i get questioning stares because i am wanting to step away from the C suite at 41, that in itself will take time but i’ve done that level of work for long enough x
You have, you’ve set the standard and the foundation to sit in the back seat and enjoy the ride!
I’m in wild agreement with you! As a fellow coach who also left corporate to start my own business, I have lots to say about this topic as well. When people ask me if I’d go back I used to say that it wouldn’t be kind to my nervous system, but now it’s more the freedom of choice. To choose something other than what society projects as the image of success can feel like being a rebel or swimming against the tide, but it’s possible and there is another way. At the end of the day it’s about tuning into what you want and not what culture and society tell you that you should want. ❤
It’s ironic that I help people do this as a professional but it’s challenging to do it for yourself with the same vigor!
@@DaylesAddiction isn’t that always the way!!
Thanks for sharing, I live a very different live and it’s nice to relate to someone else at least a little bit.
💃🏻🥂
You have an amazing home ❤❤❤ and your makeup looks amazing too 😉 and your hustles just fine 😊
Thank you Shaz x
Dearest Dayle. Now is the time to kick back and enjoy your successes. Thousands love you and your U Tube channel, me included. You have a successful consulting business. If you develop more goals I'm sure you'll achieve them. xxx
Thanks Genelle that’s a super kind thing to offer me, thank you 😊
Sometimes it's helpful to ask oneself what is your sense of purpose? That motivates me both professional and personally.
Absolutely it’s personal and important
I'm a fellow alien... I get it. Me, no kids.. when the opportunities to move up at work came, I took them, but when the really big ones presented , I had a really good think and the answer was clear. Thanks, but no thanks. Took leave , sold the big house ,got rid of excess like boats and stuff, and haven't looked back. My husband and I say 'no one's coming,' and we laugh. It has been a real game changer . We also say, 'You won't find me where you left me'. That road less travelled has made all the difference. ❤ Great video for people to ponder.
I love this! Thank you for sharing - our saying is ‘we’re the weird ones!’ 🤣🤣
This was a fab video and so interesting, loved hearing how your measures of success have evolved and adapted ! Could certainly relate to a lot of these. What I have found interesting over time in my own life is how some of the things I dreamed of when I was young and thought would make me feel successful, actually didn’t when I had them or I felt awkward about them so never enjoyed them fully. Have a wonderful day ☺️☺️
So true Nick - our evolution is the best part of life and living - when we surprise ourselves!
I’m right there with you. I accomplished everything I had ever wanted at 29/30. I know crazy. But now I have no goals, interests or desire to do more. Inner hustler me says do more but there is no goal in mind. That’s where I’m struggling. I feel lost. I need a good kick in the rear to get me back on track. The pandemic really threw me off and my inner hunger to do more went away 😢
Me too! How can we find our motivation to do things that are productive and bring us contentment too!
House vs home is how it should be. My house isn’t huge but it’s definitely not small. It’s exactly what we need and we are so happy. It’s a home. I love it. I love how you think 🫶🏼
Thanks lovely - sometimes its best knowing you can but choosing not to because that's what you choose, not everyone else!
What a great video and a great message! I reflected a bit during the pandemic and realized that I liked my work, but didn’t feel strongly about the purpose/mission. Ultimately made the move to a nonprofit and even though it’s less money, I feel so great about how my efforts contribute to this mission that I believe in very strongly. It has made a huge difference in how fulfilled I feel overall. Not for everyone but it was just right for me!
How uplifting and such an important story to share! Thank you!
Hi, I laughed when you told the story about your car. I have a Mercedes and I'm not attached to it either. I lease so there's no attachment. I've had high end cars for the past 20 years but this was the "holy grail" one for me. And to my surprise...it doesn't do anything better than any other car. As a matter of fact I have had issues with it way too many times. I think I had my fill of luxury cars and New York is inundated with car jackers and car thieves so I think I'm going to downsize when this lease is up. I've climbed the ladder in my field, unfortunately the field I chose (social services) the salaries are very low. I'm 55 and my hip hurts so my hustle is definitely tainted, lol. Thanks for sharing! 😊
It’s so funny how these things loose their glimmer and we reflect on how much they once meant to us… who even was I back then?
Great video Dayle.
I’ve been living as an ‘alien’ for pretty my whole life 😂
Also, your eyeshadow looks especially lovely in this video ❤
Well it’s nice to meet you 🖖🏼😘
Amazing video!!! Sending you love! ❤️ People should now understand that no everyone wants a corporate job to become successful! You do whatever make you happy! And that’s enough! 😊
There are many ways to get to that point, it’s not linear!
You haven't lost hustle, you've gained perspective. I'm an exec in public service and have recently explained that I'm not interested in being Chief or Dep Sec, I'm looking for the sweet spot of interesting work, balance of accountability, people around me and money. I'm open about it with higher powers and they completely understand, and support it. Same with Husband - some keep saying to expand his business but everyone who has done that wishes back for the sweet spot.
We live in a paid off modest home in an 'Australian Dream' location while friends take on crazy mortgages. We could upgrade but I also love my choices here and don't want to give them up for bigger square footage.
Oh that is so fantastic! This makes me super happy to read! Very inspiring!
Dayle I've been watching you reach this point with great interest as you have a healthy sense of self and your sense of humour is infectious!
As I've said a few times, you're a creative. And the creative process necessarily involves error. And there is no urgency.
So my when you're ready you won't overthink it you will just do something else with your energy as an adjunct to what you do now, it will gradually become obvious to you.
I've suggested painting and drawing but what you end up doing with your excess energy and get differently fulfilled is what you decide.
You're already doing it but more is to come.
It's a journey for all of us, a truism but when you deeply feel that, material things definitely gain perspective.
It's funny how the desired object starts to lose its lustre ever so slowly and then you realise, yes I still like it but it's not 'to die for' anymore.
You’re a wise woman Deborah, you’re right!
@@DaylesAddiction I'm a very tiny sub-influencer Dayle operating in the shadow world of YT comment...lol! (and I made a grammatical error in my post above but never mind!).
But my point is the made to order Fendi isn't going to have popular appeal and that's OK. A true artist walks to the beat of their own drum. Such a person isn't market-driven and in some ways it's better to make a living in the commercial world to fund your artistic endeavours. So keeping any need for popular acceptance apart from art means you truly can be autonomous. If that makes sense. JIMO.
I was born into a family (immediate family only..) of 'my life my rules' so i get it. Keep doing you Dayle and block out the noise, but you are good at that so I have full faith youll live a thriving life.
from my own context - I was raised partly in asia, my parents currently live in Iraq, I run marathons instead of drinking alcohol, amongst other things, so yeah I have felt like an outsider my whole life😂😂😂 I honestly fully embrace it, I love being on the outside. It's pretty darn good out here. Keep going Dayle!
The outside is where it’s at holly! I see you 💃🏻💃🏻
We put so much pressure on ourselves to ‘conform’ but for what reason? I stepped away from my career last year and I have never felt so free! Go with your gut! It never lets you down. It’s irrelevant what others think x
You’re so right Deb
I don’t think that there are enough people talking about the alternatives!
I hear everything you said! 💕
Thanks Jude 🫶🏻
Awww we’re the same age, you have such a baby face (that’s a good thing😆)Girl I feel the same way!! My manager asked me why I wasn’t in a higher position because with the way I work I should be. I thought to myself ‘more money more problems’. As much as I could use more money I’m cool with my current role 😂 When God is ready for me to move up it will happen but as for now I’m in no hurry. And as for parties, I’m right there with you 😂
hee hee - well thanks I'll take it as a compliment babe! I'm happy to celebrate others but I hate parties for me... can't stand it!
Thank you for sharing. It sounds that you know exactly what you are doing and know what makes you happy and that is success. I wish you the best with all you are doing.
Thank you! It’s often challenging when you don’t see others on a similar path - you think, am I doing it right?
You are definitely doing it right. Do not doubt yourself unless the doubts are real ones coming from within. The doubts planted in your life from other people are ones you should not listen to.
One last comment, the true measure of success is your true happiness...how much u love, and are loved.
Also very true!
Whatever makes you happy, you're a strong person 😊❤
Thanks lovely 🥰
@Dayle's Addiction of course, your welcome 💜😊
Dayle, I completely understand what you mean and you have not lost your hustle and I have not lost mine either. I agree, there seems to be an old/out dated thinking that a successful life is one that has linear progression with a "better" job title, a "better" car, a "better" house. These are all things pretty much material things but what about job satisfaction and less stress. I am in my mid to late 40's and was asked if I wanted to go into management ("move up") many many years ago but I wasn't interested in that job or the "hustle"/game to move up the corporate ladder where I work and have no regrets but I did end up taking different jobs at the same organization. Besides, it is unclear what is involved in some of these higher paying jobs based on a title but because it is higher pay some people define themselves by their jobs and to them they have become a success. I think it is how you live your life everyday/inner growth that makes a person a success and as long as you are happy/satisfied and managing everything fine then that is all that matters, there is nothing wrong with staying in one place to still be a success. Thanks for sharing Xx.
Thanks for sharing your own experience Elina - you're so right. I have coached people who had the 'top job' just waiting for them and instead designed their own 'dream job' which was just amazing and inspiring to witness.
I totally agree. I work in the corporate world, love my job and I’m happy where I am. I don’t have aspirations to move up more, because my career isn’t my identity. Also, the extra money isn’t worth the extra stress and workload. I value my work life balance, and the fact that when I go home, I don’t bring work with me. I am motivated to do my best and enjoy taking on new projects, but I don’t feel the need for the higher title.
That’s right - the sweet spot is small and once you land it you hold on for dear life!
I currently work as an independent IT contractor, I’ve got no title, but earn more than the bunnies who do! I can also work as much or little as I choose, and am responsible for nothing. An enviable position to be in.
High five to you! That’s the way 😉
Are any of us ‘normal’? What does that even look like anymore? I think we live the life that works for us and no one has a right to pass judgment on our choices. You do you! A happy Dayle is a fun Dayle!
RIP Hustle!
Being the best you is success
Very true
Not to mention all the upkeep and maintenance work , cleaning that a McMansion entails. Also, there’s nothing more depressing than a massive home where many rooms are never ever used ( eg: dining room, sitting room ). It almost feels like a ghost wing of the house to me. A warm, cozy home is so essential to our wellbeing
Feels like a big hug just sitting in your cosy lounge 🥰🥰💕
Great topic Dayle. I wonder sometimes if we are actually being taught to question whether we are truly happy/content and feeling successful- like a kind of gaslighting! I’m pretty sure the constant striving for more or bigger or better is not in most people’s best interest- but somehow we are made to feel we should be and in a corporate environment that striving normally benefits someone else! Sorry if that sounds a bit cynical - I don’t think how you are feeling sounds alien, I think it sounds like knowing yourself well and what fits best for you and your husband ❤
That's an interesting point Fiona - you're right - turning away from what we know will fulfil us is really foiling our own success to the benefit of some other anonymous soul!
That’s me 100%! 🤗 I wouldn’t have it any other way, either! 🎉❤
Here’s to defining your own happiness!
Your skin looks amazing
Thank you 😊
I‘ve never been into reaching cooperate milestones as status symbol or big business success, eventhough I do enjoy the fine things in life. But the biggest succes one can achieve, is beeing actually happy (which is not necessarily connected to money or a prestigious job). Not having to worry too much about money for sure helps, but everything over a certain point is just „bonus“ and maybe not even worth the stress to get there. My thoughts on the topic 💕
I think contentment and fulfillment are coming through strongly for me in the comments… such an odd tension in these feelings. We kind of aren’t taught to recognize them as easily as others.
Dayle, we all go through this and and I know what you mean ❤😊
I see you 😘
@Dayle's Addiction yep 😊❤
100% agree and understand. I stepped down from a leadership role so I could work at home which saves me 3 hours a day! Commuting is a soul sucker and complete waste of time. I spent so much time and energy keeping my team happy and employed and now I just worry about me. I do my work and at the end of the day I am DONE. No after hours phone calls or texts while I am hiking, shopping, traveling or with my family. I am about 6 years from retirement and just going to ride it out . I am not interested in any brass ring…but I will take a diamond one! 😂
Yes 🙌🏼 Janet this is what it’s all about, work smarter not harder! Congratulations 🍾
Phenomenal video lovely
Thanks Melissa, I really appreciate it 💕
Do what makes you happy.... Only ....forget what others do or say. I was so driven at work until I had a meltdown it's then I realised what matters to me. I'm 42 and lost my hussle at work but gained other interests.... like handbags 😅. Keep smiling 😃 life is too short. Kisses from dubai
Oh I see you Marion! I hope you’re well now!
WE have just sold our house to down size. We want a smaller house so we have more time for each other and our two teenage children. It is more about who you live with and not where you live. I turn 50 in eighteen months and I want to go away for it. I have no interest in a party. Great video. Do what makes you happy.
Couldn’t agree more Susan!! Enjoy!
Sounds good to me Dayle 😊
💃🏻💕
Dayle we’re all different, not only job, bag, lifestyle but health wise. If you have yr health & Mr. A is recovering from his surgery. My life was going in a totally different direction until several sliding doors moments. 6 MVA’s over both hemispheres & trapped under building scaffolding (no I wasn’t driving started my “crash career @ 18 mths of age). Trust me you haven’t lost “yr hustle” as long as you have yr health it’s the diamond in yr corner. You have a lovely hubby, house & what you need & can fill-in the wants “blank” whenever you so desire. There’s no need to move house, you love where you live. No use being the richest person in the grave yard, enjoy yr life throw yr shoulders back & “be in the moment”. Yes I have friends that have huge businesses, others that have been married & now single & a few that are still happily married with or without children I accept people as they are & “variety is the spice of life”. I’m so happy that you have yr own consulting business & do what you with such aplomb. 😘💐 PS give Gary a hug pigeon lovers unite LOL
Min you always bring perspective and humour. You’re right, without health, the other choices pale.
Gary says hi!! But he may avoid traveling in a vehicle with you, he’s very delicate! 😘
Always important to listen to your heart. It sounds like you are doing just that.
I am, thank you Mary 😊
It's actually liberating to live your own version of a rich life. A lot of people who are climbing the ladder probably want to get off that treadmill right now.
Very true, I feel for people who see it as failure instead of power to make the right call for themselves.
I can relate to this so much, I’m a one man business and I don’t want more ! We eloped to Barbados on our own to get Married and it’s our 10 year anniversary next year that will also elope for and celebrate on our own ! I have no children through choice so can’t relate with a lot of people my age but I do find that I’m expected to visit others and don’t get many visitors (which I actually secretly love) but I’m happy as things are ❤
We are literally living the same life!!
Thanks for sharing J x
@@DaylesAddiction yours is just a better climate 😆🙌🏻
I am an unconventional alien who loves handbags and purple. You have a friend in me too. 👾💜👜
Are you me in another form??🖖🏼
Your makeup looks beautiful
Thank you!
I can completely relate and the worst thing is that im like this since i was a kid. I never really had any ambition. Everything i have done kinda fell out of nowhere and landed on my hand. Even my career i was applying for an internship for a role in accounting and due to some internal issues i was asked to help the AML department and now i have a career in AML. I refused the promotions i was given because i wanted to maintain my work-life balance ⚖️. People looked down on that but i couldn’t care less. I don’t really have any goals in terms of career and i think the only ambition i have is i want to get a role where i can work for less months in a year like 7/8 months and have 4/5 months unpaid leave. Im not really sure this is realistic but moving up the ladder sounds such a hastle for me. When it comes to family i dont want to have that either. I just want minimum responsibilities possible
It’s a great goal to have, I’m sure you could achieve it Ash!
Interesting video, really! Thank you for it! ♥️
Thanks Diane - I hope you’re well 💕
@@DaylesAddiction I’m good, thank you! 💗
Aaah you sound like us. We did a Weddingmoon just the 2 of us. We didn’t want the stress of a huge party. You can’t please everybody. Once we married thru the church (cause it was a 2nd marriage for me) then we had a simple dinner with close family and a few friends. Like 80 people. I can relate to a lot of what you’ve mentioned. As we get older we look at things differently and what really matters, and what’s important to both of you. It’s ok to not want more. Sometimes the higher up the chain you move, it’s more stress and more hours. It’s all about quality of life. 😊. Plus the bigger the house the more rooms to clean, or the more we have to pay the cleaning ladies. Those are funds for the bag and vacation bucket. 😊
So well said Laura!!! Thank you for sharing so generously!
I am very close in age to you. I have seen colleagues about ten years older retire and are now trying to downsize and move to a smaller home. I have friends and family who recently made decisions to earn less as they value their time more than money, and/or got out of managerial positions to reduce the stress in their life. I either associate with those in a non-traditional crowd, or the line of thinking you speak about is becoming more common!
There aren’t too many people in the middle I find it’s one extreme or the other!
I loved this video, i can understand everything but writing what i feel is a different story. You are such a beautiful and special woman, lots of love from Holland again. (And you do not look 42!!! ,32 was my guess, )💘💞💜💜
Arlette you're too kind!
I truly think that people get caught up in hustle and they think that it’s good. Though I believe we are here for fun, love and laughter, not working all the time. Life is meant to be easy and if you follow your highest excitement in all things then it will flow naturally and be easy. Anyway my point is, you get it! 🎉😂❤
Sometimes it’s hard to see people work themselves into poor health and stress and broken relationships for their other goals…. I hate watching that happen.
Dayle, I'm 30 and have no hustle haha! I don't think anything you're saying is odd or alien at all! I have so much freedom in my schedule, and I wouldn't trade that for a boost in "status" (corporate or social). Also, when it comes to celebrating your marriage, of course have a party whenever you want, but it sounds like you celebrate your marriage everyday. Ben and I got married with 7 people present, and I feel we celebrate our life together with friends and family every time we catch up over coffee or go out to dinner. None if this sounds bad if you're content ❤Did you 'lose' your hustle *or* did you ditch a mentality that no longer served you?
Good challenge!!! Something to think about!
🎵 Do the hustle 💃
💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻
I hear you. The life season of bigger and better and hustle hustle left well before Covid and those two years of lockdowns just cemented it firmly in place. I would like to say that eventually the comments about how and why you choose to spend your time and energy differently stop …
But they don’t…. 🤣🤣
We just get better at caring less!
Yep, and get more stubborn too!
You know you’ve lost your hustle when you look at things like a new job or a new house and think it’s just a lot of work. I’d love some tips on how to explain to people that you don’t want to entertain, you don’t particularly enjoy parties, you enjoy your own company and you don’t mind being alone.
Leslie!! Oh I feel you!!
Tips - don’t explain, just learn to get better at politely declining invites. I think we can tend to over explain. We decided to start saying no a lot more and once you get into the hang of it, it’s so easy. Or to say not then but can do an alternative…. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.
I feel you Dayle! I don’t want children, romantic relationships or excessive spending. Further, I want to be self employed with no employees so I can totally relate with the feeling of being different or bucking norms😂
And that's why you have your own train!!! 🚆
It’s a good place to be. Joyful place
Contentment 😊
I just relinquished a permanent public position to a life as a casual. All job security gone. I left as Iwas being bullied and I couldn’t take it anymore, I no longer prescribe to the hustle. I inherited money and around the same time and lost another parent. Life is hard and people can’t be utter a holes. Stuff the hustle.
You’ve had a rough few years but here you are, living and giving! 💕
@@DaylesAddiction ❤❤❤
It’s funny how the way you feel about these things change over time as I feel a lot the same and we too got married elsewhere with just our closest and always said at 10 tyrars we’d renew and do something bigger and then 15 then it was 20 years and now I have no interest in doing it at all 🤷🏼♀️
It's the worst part of the wedding for me... it goes too fast, it creates so much drama and stress! It's lovely to skip that bit!
Sounds like you are at a place of contentment, enjoy it.
Yes contentment - it has its own challenges oddly! 🤣
If there are billions of people on this planet, there should be billions of ways to live your life and have happiness. Sometimes, what makes us happy changes with life's experiences. Do you and focus on what makes you happy today.😊
Perfectly put!
I’ve never ever had any corporate bone in my body 😂 I’m a hands on, help others type of person. Any one being all judgy is just sad and shallow. Life only happens once so do what you love and be kind. The end ❤😊
Amen 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing your thoughts
I am younger than you and don't have the drive to work the office politics to climb the corporate ladder. I am simply not interested in more responsibilities and being in the limelight. I am happy with an 8 to 6 job from Monday to Friday and even better if I can work from home.
I see younger people being promoted and I seriously don't care much. I was hired for my knowledge and experience, nowhere in my job description was listed I had to kiss @ss. I also prefer to keep my distance from most colleagues because they only talk about money, bonuses and the best bar to go have drinks, they have a very shallow and empty life IMO.
To me, it is important my faith, family, friends and to travel to see my family since I live on my own. And I can live within my means in a humble place, pay for my plane tickets and save for the future.
when the day I need more money comes, I will simply switch jobs because that is how you move upwards in NYC. People here move every 2 to 3 years to climb the ladder or to improve work conditions.
Thanks for sharing your approach, you sound quite content!
I'm a similar age and this totally resonates! I'm successful by most standards, at a good corporate level, but I feel the not having kids really chages things. Whereas people with kids are always busy, I have the luxury (and curse!) of getting to fill my time. but I also feel I need to work to add meaning to my life if that makes sense? Such a complicated topic :/ Long story short I feel you, but how do we add meaning and ambitions?
Purpose? I think if we know our purpose it doesn’t matter if we’re busy or not, when we do any activity or engage in any relationship we live our purpose- mine is ‘I strive to be proud of everything I’m a part of’.
@@DaylesAddiction I love that!
We all have different lives, we all make different choices and those choices should be respected. For me, I spent most of my life raising a family and my career wasn’t important. Now in my late 50’s career is important to me but I still don’t know what I REALLY want to do when I grow up 😂 I do wonder what could have been if I’d made different choices when I was younger. IDK 🤷🏼♀️
P.S. off topic, what happened with you and Dacob on his live? I came in right at the end. Sounded serious, Dacob was grumpy.
That's right - we do Gianna and at times we can call feel alone and I think it's been great to hear from so many on this topic. The livestream was very upsetting for many reasons.