I wanted to tell you. Your video about scarcity consciousness finally made it click. I had been depressed. suicidal even and watching TONS of videos about narcissists. The truth is none of them would stick. they would help for a bit but then that. and the metaphor about the garden did it. My ex wasn't psychotic, wasn't physically abusive, is rich and successful. He is also emotionally abusive, hurtful, never accepts blame, etc etc. I was constantly unhappy, I still wanted him. I finally see that he was unable to ever truly be a good partner. I finally see that its on me to walk away from this 'one' person who i think can feed me. I have met great guys since. And now I see that they are better for me. They are CAPABLE of love and kindness. Im stoked about life again! Thank you so much. YOU are an angel!
This sounds like my guy full on the emotional abuse, it really leaves no evidence and he is very calculating. Just broke no contact feel so annoyed because I will have to face the repocussions of this, he has a sicko smug new supply, when I was the new supply I made sure not to rub it in anyone’s face but boy is this new supply going to town it’s torture.
I went no contact 6 years ago only to have a friend tell me he was deathly ill. So I contacted his mother! well he suvived and the next thing l started getting emails from him. my survivor healthy self kicked in and I stopped him in his tracks :) this video was such a wonderful support and confirmation for me! Thank you. No contact! The only way!!!
Thank you dear Melanie. That is exactly how I feel. Once we heal certain parts of us, there is no way to be back to what we were like before. Set backs are just temporary experiences and our consciousness knows that...
"You need to be held accountable" - this was exactly how I have felt time and time again. Thanks Melanie for explaining why you think this, and what you must do.
That's right, it is like talking to a broken record. An inanimate object that can't listen to you and keeps saying the same thing over and over! It's like a bad joke.
Sean Dupree oh shit dude, I’m so sorry she’s abusing you. It’s true, most wont believe narcissist abuse, much less from a woman!!! But don’t give up. The answer is here in our own growth and mindset and hard inner work!
Say this you go no contact because of whatever happened in the abuse they Hoover you you do not respond to the Hoover and then a month later or 3 months later you respond What does that show anybody not even a narcissist it shows them that you still care it shows them you're thinking of them and the narcissist will take that response and suck your blood dry ..then ghost you and you'll be worse off you damned if you do damned if you don't Remember you wouldn't just go no contact with somebody that was enhancing and making your life better remember why you went no contact sit there and think days and days before you respond
Absolutely true. Unfortunately I struggle with my mind. I have a very difficult time trying to think of Ah the negative she was. I’m stuck in the trauma bond and have no clue how in hell to get out.
My problem is I never break no contact, he does. I can stay away forever but it is always him that calls me and I melt. I gotta get away and get healthy
@@rosettemarshall3024 If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
@@rosettemarshall3024 I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
OMG- the craziest false belief that you mentioned about "If I see the narc, I'll get triggered and know what to work on so he's helping me evolve myself." WOW That's exactly what I thought for so long. Even till last night I was confused about this. Thanks for clearing this up for me.
Thanks 💯♥️ and Yes almost same Life story Melanie... 2 Steps forward and One back. For US not too US. “ Love is the Drug, the Narc is the Pusher, and the Victim the Addict!!! Blessings too all Thrivers 🦋
Thank you for making these videos, they have been much help to me. I am now in the area of no contact and it feels exactly as you say but I am doing it!! Years ago I actually went against my partener and went out and got my career, I explored many fields in such a short time!!! matron field, security field, medical field and another area of security! I stopped working in 2008 and broke alot of contact with people and things that did not feel right and like you, the second time around is ahhh I am not sure how to explain it other then freedom!
I understand the wanting to not give up but Im so thankful after watching this video thay I have never had an addictive personality! although I do love my coffee:) I have attracted narcissist many times but this last one was by far the most sadistic he is the only one that has been a nightmare to get rid of. I am praying he will leave me alone now that he sees that I know what he is and want nothing to do with him which means Im no longer a source of supply. I am working on forgiving myself for being so blind. He knew what he was doing from day one. He gives me the heebie geebies. I pray he will finally give up! Thank you for your videos you have great insight and an interesting view point!:) Lots of love and light your way. Thank you for spreading awareness.
Excellent delivery of the whole truth about how and why we break contact ❤ and how futile it is to do so. Yes, we want them to willingly take responsibility for what they have done to us but they are intently pointing out blame because they cannot admit to being anything other than the false self they have created. What was so confusing to me (co-dependant/empath) is how they play the humble or indignant victim card after they have harmed an intimate partner or close family member. Also how some family members are either very naive or even complicit in taking the narcissists word and their side in every relationship break-up when it should be glaringly obvious what the truth is. Triangulation? even when they see the victim with a cast on and all of that victims material possessions are in the narcissists home now. Willingly blind to protect the family image/name?
Mel, I applaud, welcome & loooove your honesty & transparency. By doing so, you have helped so many people to understand what the heck is going on with our addiction. You have helped us to NOT feel like a fool & a loser for breaking NO CONTACT. Thank you for explaining the rooted trauma in ourselves that must be acknowledged & healed. I had never heard of Quantum Freedom Healing but it makes so much sense.The fact that it worked for you is HUGE & so very encouraging. How do we go about freeing ourselves ? I just got hoovered last night & today after the usual ghosting.The break up is still fresh & I am still in love with him. Ugh ! Shite ! I NEED the Quantum healing before I go something foolish. Thank you for caring & sharing your valuable information & yourself. You are truly loved for your beautiful heart. God bless you, Spirit of Light & Love. 🕊
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Anytime I get the urge to call my narassistic ex, I listen to Kelsea Ballerini's song called Peter Pan. I helps me remember that he will never change and that I already gave it my all before and ended up hurt
love your work Melanie and yes I used many of your same reasons...the funniest is once a week visits to get triggered...yup I considered that. To hear you speak out loud what I was thinking I laughed out loud at how ludicrous that was. Thanks for your honesty and a quantum way to resolve rather than my ' ludicrously funny' ideas,
Your amazing every video I am getting it through all your videos, I am relating to all of this. I am so done and going to do this work, I deserve to heal for real
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Hi Hulia en Mexico - you go straight up to it - the pain, locate it, shift it out of your body and bring in Source/God/Creation/Universe (whatever YOU call it) to fill up with. All done with NO fear. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/pain-is-not-a-timeline-how-to-shift-through-pain-powerfully/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank you for your response and link, Can you please have someone email me in regards to different playment plans, I missed the free course because I was already a member as in regards to signin in to your newsletter, it would not accept me
I just broke no cotact after 1.5 months and feel so so horrible! I have been in depression since we broke up and feel like I am falling apart and have very little contact with people in my life. The holidays are coming and I have a Son!!!!!
Hi Hulia, Here's another one for you Sweetheart th-cam.com/video/TwqXPs4KRJY/w-d-xo.html Please don't beat yourself up over this, nearly everyone does it! until you shift out the wounds and change beliefs you will be drawn back in. Are you working with NARP? If so, please take all this to the NARP Forum where you will receive support and guidance on how to heal this. If not, I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you, especially the ebook How to do No Contact www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse xoxox
I already applied, and I participated in an online workshop. I have emailed your group to send me programs of payment and of assistance and still have not had a response. I do not know if my Xis a narcissist or not but I need help. Thank You
thank goodness before I had to call and negotiate a reunion I found Melanie. I have even 7+ months later been still so wrapped up in the emotional charge. I'm in 2 12-step programs and still..... sometimes I have to just come in the morning to listen and be reinforced that reuniting with a destructive force is not the answer.
Blooming...Congratulations ! I pray that you stay strong & courageous. The destruction that these creatures hurl upon the empathetic & kind human beings is evil & cruel. It/they are nothing short of a demonic stronghold. I have only 2 months of limited contact & am struggling to do No Contact. But God can do the impossible.Keep your faith & trust in Him. I am. God bless you. Hang in there. I'm doing my utmost best also. 🕊
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Thank you. You've helped me so much. Wish I could have no contact but we have a child together and it's been so hard. Do you have a video about co-parenting with a narcissist.
This is a great video. I was married to a narcisist for 2.5 years. It was extremely hard when we separated. I hoped and prayed for restoration prerry much the whole marriage . Then, after separating I started praying for discernment and wisdom. Boy did I get it. Its like every Avenue information could come my way it came. I reached out to his ex wife and asked her am I loosing my mind of is he a narcisist? She said he IS !! And from there I watched your videos alot and Dr. Carter and Romani and started healing. By 6 months I was so good with the divorce. My dog chihuahua I had 17 years, who was my rock and companion , passed suddenly 6 weeks after ex left me and I had nothing to hold on to . All my grief turned to his passing . All I had was Jesus and HE became my rock! Almost 4 years after I am doing wonderful and blessed. Still havent dated one person. Still have some anxiety but my heart is healed ! I miss my dog terrible though. I remember your kitty passed a while back so I'm sure you can relate. Your story is incredible. Thank you.
this is how I felt because I was trying to do nc without blocking because I found it hard to block people and would sometimes unblock again.. which I'm sure he used this in his smear campaign to say I'm emotionally unstable because I would block/ then unblock. so this time I tried nc without blocking but he kept reaching out, every other day so I had to block finally otherwise subtlely the cycle would start again and I would get sucked in again. I used to tell myself that I would only be around him for a little while and that he was helping me with my triggers until I started working on myself inside even more. I am just praying that I don't unblock again.
The Healing Heart...Yes, "a demonic nightmare " !Thank God there are beautiful people like Melanie to share of herself & her valuable information to help suffering victims like us. God bless you. 🕊
What does it mean when they contact you? My narc contacted me. Sending condolences to me for my lost in my family. Then continued conversation afterwards until i ask a question they didnt want to answer. Also saying they love me always and forever. Even though i know they lives with his new supply.
They are after Narcissistic Supply hun. This explains some more for you ... blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-is-narcissistic-supply/ If you would like to know more I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you understand more and know there is a solution of he won't contact you again xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
I broke no-contact after two months on Easter and sent him a gift and a nice card. He of course kept the gift and then kept on ghosting me. Believe it or not it helped the healing process because it reminded me what a despicable person he is and how I'm better off now.
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
I just want to say that listening to you has been good for my psychie because my narcissist was an Aussie and threw that in my face all the time. She constantly told me how inferior I was as a Canadian. Have you ever seen this kinda thing with different Nationalities? tell me not all Australians are like that?
Please please! I’m hoping somebody can answer this-I went no contact about a week ago via text which I immediately blocked so I never got a response obviously. I wasn’t quick enough in blocking my email and I got 2 vile nasty horrible emails about what a terrible person I was. We knew he would do that right? I shut that account down to so he has no way to get a hold of me unless it’s through postal mail or showing up which I seriously doubt he will do. Anyway everything was going great until I saw him on television this morning. There is a huge funeral where I live and he is in public safety so he had to be there. Excuse me for saying this but I completely lost my shit -all I wanted to do was contact him .seriously. Have not but it seems like I am counting the minutes. Now all of a sudden I want to cry etc. Can somebody tell me if this is normal and what to do? Please please!
Hi Amber, yes, it's perfectly normal!! You are not going crazy Sweetheart, it's the addiction to the narcissist kicking in. I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse and have a look at these videos to help you understand what is happening right now for you th-cam.com/video/tg7DtfY8BCk/w-d-xo.html Love and blessings to you xoxox
I still have hope she can change, I genuinely don't wish her ill will, I hope she gets all the help she needs. I get a panicked feeling just posting this comment because she follows my social media and has her friends follow my online posts and sends them to me. Its so beyond anything I ever thought would happen to me :-(
Hey Melani thank you for the profound video. Now he is sleeping in the guests room, I do feel much better now that we are not talking or dealing with each other at all. yet, I am still afraid of sending him out, I did that three times during the past three years, and every time I begged him to come back home! I did some healing work on my subconscious, I do feel more empowered now yet am not sure if this empowerment would survive the panic attacks of losing him! what should I do?
Wiley I promise you that when you address the trauma in your body that is getting triggered there will be NO charge - period. That is the experience we all live when we do the inner work in the way that works ... xoxox
hi Melanie.. this is so true. i broke no contact a few days ago, so today i started meditating and feel better, but i need to know how to ended. my son is eighting still living with me. and i dont know how to convince him to leave this place. and the worst part is that my son wont leave, because he knows that "the narcisist" is the one who is working at the moment. so i really need your help in this. i dont know what would happen if i left and would leave my son in such a toxic" enviroment. which is actually a very dangers zone." im not talking about physically but especially mentally and emotionally. :/ i hope i can hear from you soon. this is a very tough spot.' thanks again Melanie ♡
Hallo Melanie, it is such a great explanation and help in this matter. You are completely right and thanks for sharing this informations. My gf, who I had a far distance relationship with for over a year, broke up with me 4 weeks ago and I am going throught the NC phase. I realize she is a true narcissist and I can feel myself in almost everything that you are saying. I ll check out more videos from you and I also can recommend Corey Wayne`s channel for men in similiar situations. Feeling like giving you a hug now. Greetings from germany.
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Seems like a good trick is profiling the narc or associating them with images that stimulate a negative or turn off value. Knowing my own beliefs and moral values, that the narc by no means can uphold those principles with me so it was easy for me in less than three months time to have that frame of mind towards her. Today she texted me for a phone number. I texted only the number and nothing more. I didn't wait, I don't feel the need to be malicious, but more like a chore that I want to get done as quickly as possible so as to alleviate the unpleasantness about it. If there is no emotional energy to put into it it doesn't feel like much of a breach. I was a bit agitated for a half hour and yelled "whore" with some zesty adjectives attached to it but I'm no worse for the wear. Lol
I broke no contact after 7months because I thought it would be good for our now 18month old baby but I end up feeling hurt all over again so I'm back no contact and wont break it again. I only reached out because he kept trying to reach me🥺
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Natalie the NARP Program is exactly that system www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp Check it out plus research all the reviews on it. You will see there is a way to heal from this. xoxo
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
came upon this video and page via a friend's facebook and can tell from this alone there is much to check out. Question in the short term, what happens when the narcissist(s) are your parents and parts of your family? How does one cope with that? Does anything change there vs. when dealing with a narcissistic lover or spouse? I went through a period of about 3-4 years without contact on my dad's side of the family (have always lived with my mom's side and they also have their own narcissistic issues I should add as well at times) before going back a couple of years ago and sometimes I have regretted it and contemplated walking away again, only to feel bad about the idea of it and thus staying put. It's always been rough on me dealing with them in particular with my dad with clashes over many many things, some valid issues maybe on my side that I am working to deal with, others not as valid. Has often felt like I have to walk on eggshells which is not fun to say the least as I am sure you know. Any thoughts here? I would greatly appreciate it.
Ajk I have created some videos, article and radio shows about Family Of Origin narcissistic abuse - including parents. If you google my name + family and parents you will find these resources. I hope that will help. Yes, also (and you will understand this better by going through this material) the healing from any narcissist is exactly the same process. xoxo
Hi Melanie- I didn't see the link for the blog, maybe this is the right place? I broke NC by sending a HBD text message yesterday. I am in major cognitive dissonance right now, I cried like a baby all night last night, and most of today. It makes NO sense to me why I CANNOT seem to let go of this and get over him. Like you, I went almost an entire year NC, but when I got really strong and got my life back on track, he sniffed me out and I let him back in again last December, it was the usual intermittent reinforcing mind games in covert fashion. I kept myself in a state of mindfulness, but the obsession kicked in. Ultimately sabotaging everything I had worked for, and I wound up with a whole new set of health problems to boot. He is now in a new relationship with someone else, yet continues to try to contact me. This I know because I feel the psychic pull and accidentally found a way to discover when he attempts contacting me. I am insane right now and my mind is playing all kinds of tricks on me. I need your help, I can't do this anymore, I need to get my life and myself back. I don't want to live this way.
Hi Olivia, it is above now blog.melanietoniaevans.com ... and yes of course you can comment here. You poor thing Olivia, I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it all so well!! Olivia these two suggestions are the best of the best that help people recovery from what you are struggling with in this Community - www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar These are the Core Work of Thriver Recovery I hope this helps xoxox
Thank you for sending me the information. I am going to do it. I am in the process of moving, because I can no longer afford my apt., but I am doing this as soon as I can find a way. Thank you!
Someone pls tell me. We broke up 1 week and he called me yesterday i did not respond him. And today i viewed his whatsp statuses by mistake. Does it break the NC?
Being with a narcissist is like being in jail waiting on death row. Its a sick, sick nauseating feeling. They need to stay single. U cannot deal with them on any level.
hi Mel, I broke contact after 11 mos. For the kids. I just felt things could be better now that he's not as mean as he used to. but I know he has not changed, and will not change. I'm not sure if I can continue living like walking on eggshells, and be VERY careful of my words & actions, so not to awake the beast in him. It is so inauthentic! I know it is ridiculous, why I have to put up with that kind of life. still confused, even after doing NARP a couple of times, and re-watching Ur videos for almost a year.
3ranchview come into the NARP Forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and we will help support and guide you. The Module work - especially at the start needs to be very dedicated, because there its lots of trauma we need to shift to get well. That is what Mod 1 is all about. xoxo
Hi Melanie! your videos helped me alot but I wonder can you make a video how to deal with the narc when you are constantly around him(i go in the same class as the guy)
What if the mother shows no signs of narcissism? I’ve been going thru this for over a decade. What if the child has been influenced by a third party? Years and years of her “Stepmother talking in her ear? Prying into how I lived my life, always dropping negative things about me? My daughter wedding was The Worst Day of My Life, when her stepmother stood up when it was the parents time to stand. My daughter was my life and she knew it. This not only ripped apart my heart and it almost killed me. This is an epidemic now. Even for the parents who never abused them? Who only loved them? Took good care of them? Your actions by you enabling and encourage them No Contact destroys an entries family. Exactly who is the Narcissist?
Noreen, my heart goes out to you with everything you've been through. Sweetheart please I'd love to sign up to my Free 16 Day Recovery course where you can learn more and get deeper understandings and truths so you can start healing from this for real. www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Melanie, You had mentioned that you have been "spiritual for ages". Now that you have found internal enlightenment has your spiritual belief changed in any way? You had mentioned your Christian friends even told you that God did not want you to be in a bad relationship. Do you believe in the Christian God that has the son of Jesus? I'm asking you for personal reasons. Ever since I have had internal enlightenment I am now viewing "God" differently. I am seeing a much bigger picture of how the brain thinks and how God fits into that thinking pattern. If you have had differences in that belief if it was a learned structure from you early upbringing I would love to know if your thinking has changed in relation to "spiritual" or "religion"? Thanks if you're willing to share.
Nick my spiritual beliefs have become so much wider and inclusive than they were previously. I am happy to share. I don’t believe there is a “path” to God because God and us are already one - it is only our delusions about separation (traumas of being unloveable, unworthy and defective) that have ever separated us. I actually never believed a denominational religious sense … it never resonated with me - even as a young child, yet I totally acknowledge that any “way” people can hand over the burden (release trauma) and have faith in a Higher Power brings salvation when the focus is to release Who We Are Not (fear and pain) and allow Source / God (acceptance and love) to flow through us. I hope that makes sense. xoxox
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. Yes, it makes sense. I grew up Greek Orthodox and I actually grew up in Greece for my first 9 years of life and had attended church every Sunday begrudgingly. I have never felt comfortable in church as I watched all the people pray for their suffering to end. I could easily see how someone could take advantage of someone in that state of mind and I always felt much more in tune with a higher power when I was alone instead of a large crowd. I also do understand how some people find comfort in those group type of events. I don't believe I would have been able to understand any of your videos if I had not been a victim of narcissistic abuse. I love the piece and comfort that radiates off of you and the message you share in bringing kindness to the world.
Richard Grannon was able to give a pretty good explanation of "God" from the psychology viewpoint NOT the religious one. It helped me get a better understanding of what I was feeling about "God". If you're interested it's a bit triggering for people with deep religious connections/beliefs. th-cam.com/video/UldLYUSYQtQ/w-d-xo.html
+Melanie Tonia Evans Dear Melanie on the other page some Whisperer trolled me. I don't know her and she made a false accusation I was on Pinterest? I gave her a no contact but after suffering what I went through. ive never been on Pinterest. This Whisperer isn't defining me but defining herself to judge. And if I was a narc I memorizrd all the tactic's. well I unsubscribe. Think someone needs to screen trolls out. Im moving on. most of these sites are lemonade stands. 💀
Hey Mel, I got some interesting questions for you. do you divide narcicistic abuse in overt and covert abuse? For example there can be more suddle embodied BS just like "don't have any emotional needs, you are never seen" for me it has something to do with an addiction to alcohol and having no empathie, could we also call this narcicistic abuse? all right, doesn't matter how we call it. it's just the impact that matters. kindest regards.
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Many people in the community go Strict Modified No Contact when they have children vilamor007, I explain how to do this in the free ebook in the New Life starter pack ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm this will help you xoxox
I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that kept going back and now I know why. I live with him so it’s hard. But enough is enough. No more excuses plus he’s not that wonderful of a person for me to keep him in my life yet alone sleep with him. I feel like I woke up twice. 25 years of HELL AND FALSENESS AND FAKE. So glad to be untied with the 🤮
No. Not the way we can love. Love require intimacy, respect, empathy. The narc is not capable of this. He will only 'love; what you can provide , not you.
Australia gave women the right to vote first? Or are you thinking of New Zealand 🇳🇿 with Australia second? But I, a woman from the county of woman's rights still has the same ancient truma of needing a man. Still with my trauma bonded partner and needs this community's support ❤
hello "MTE" (just kidding Melanie) i may sound crazy here, but my husband is amazing..believe it or not my narcissist is a friend i made long ago. i was bullied and isolated in my younger years and making friends is such a big deal for me so i joined a mom's group years ago. i have no idea what happened but this friend started as a social contact within the group and one day she started calling and texting all the time. she made me feel like she really wanted to be my friend and started calling me BFF. we would have tons of fun together and because of all the feeling of closeness i ignored and tolerated the times when she would be bossy or controlling because i had the close friendship that i longed for. i did my best to be a good friend and one day i made a joke about her and she got unreasonably upset. Granted her and I joked all the time about other people and other things so i didn't understand her degree of upset. Honestly, it never got better again, it seemed like everything I said she took as a personal attack. She said she wanted cookies once so i took her a bag of cookies as a gift, then she made a comment on facebook saying she has been trying to diet and she needs a friend that won't bring her cookies. so i felt bad and tried to diet with her. but again another day she found a way to take a comment personally and this time she told me her feelings were more important than the friendship and i felt so terrible i went months tring to fix myself thinking it was somehow my fault the friendship ended. I felt again like the child that had be abandon by friends and didn't know why. well after "fixing" myself i went back to try the friendship again, apologizing for whatever things i had unknowingly done. i tried to do everything that i thought she wanted me to do and say. but she kept finding ways to reject me or blame me for things i didn''t mean. For example; i sent her a text message asking about her how she felt about hanging out on her birthday and she blocked me and told me i was disturbing her on her family vacation. There was no way to know she was on a family vacation at that moment and she told me i was making her mad asking her questions and trying to be her friend again. The tricky part is the moment i moved on i apologized for anything i may have done wrong and decided to move on. she messaged me and said she was mad and i would still be blocked on her phone but when we see each other at the moms group it's still ok to talk. in my mind i keep thinking about how i can convince her that she was wrong about all the times she took a comment as a personal attack. and when it feels safe i try to explain a moment from the past to clearify and she blows up all over again. and for some stupid reason i keep feeling like im the one that is wrong. well anyway your videos and words have been helping a lot. i still get urges to want to explain to her how she misunderstood something i said but i know she will just blow up at me and blame me for something else i don't mean to say. the hard part is i stopped going to the group to avoid her and she messaged me saying not to stop coming to the group because of her. i honestly love the group but im afraid to be in the same room as her. i feel like that experience has made me avoid trying to make new friends in my adulthood. my long winded point is that my "Super Narc" lol is a friendship not a relationship. is that weird?
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Melanie I was with a Narcissist like 6 years ago stayed in the relationship for 2.5 years. Not until I went NC and I was so stunned to find out he was a Narcissist. I couldn’t understand why he acted the way he did until I researched his behavior . I found a web site Kim Seed and I was so stunned of how this Website described my Ex to the last word . I even wrote in how did you know this ? I went NC for 4 yrs did Great and I got my Power back . It was Devastating to my self to go through all the hurt it left me . I had a older Sister that helped me so much and she hated him for all that he put me through . Then 4 yrs later my older sister that was my Rock passed away and it’s has been a year since her Passing. I had seen him through the 4 yrs with his new supply and he would have the nerve to greet me every time . My defense was that I hated him so bad I wouldn’t acknowledge him at all . I wouldn’t say hi I would just turn me head . We went to the same Gambling casinos do sometimes I would see him with her . Anyway one night I go into the Casino and I run into him and him and his Mom are giving their respects to me about my Sister. Anyway I ran into them again and I made the stupid mistake of unblocking him from my fb acct after being blocked all this time prior . What a dumb move that was . During this 1 st year of my Sister passing a lot has changed in my Life . I have a Disabled Brother that I care for all by myself . When I need breaks I have a niece that comes to stay with him so I can get out . Anyway I ended up tuning into him at the Casino by then he was not with his ex . Their relationship had run its course and they were done . So I run into him and he’s not blocked anymore from my fb and I get a message on messenger from him asking me to go his house and drink with him . I go and we start seeing each other again every day for 3-4 months . The relationship is the same before but what I noticed this time is I’m getting Frustrated with the things he was always asking me to do this for him or that ? I was voicing my Frustration and started not to give in as much and he was getting on my nerves . I felt like he trying to Suck our Everything out of me and it was Annoying!!!! Anyway then the Silent Treatment cake where he said he was Depressed then when I was allowed to go his house I noticed like a Burger King bag was on the other side of his bed . It was a indication that he had someone else in his room . Hmm !!! I didn’t say anything about until he started the silent Treatment again . I confronted him and told him if he was seeing someone else just to say it so I could walk away . You know them he lied and said I was just so Jealous . He didn’t have no one there . Of course picking a fight with me . So more days went by with no Text from him . Then a week after that I just went NC on him again. He owed me some money but of course it was too hard to even see if he would pay me back or not . I was just done . I heard from his mom she is talking to him again . I’m assuming they are back together. So I beat myself why would I go back knowing what a Jerk he is to me!!! I’m so Mad at myself . When I went back I was feeling really Lonely in my Life . So it’s been 6 days but the first days it was really hard to stop crying and going through my Healing . My therapy for me is Praying to my God to mend my Broken Heart again . To take all my Feelings for him away from me !!!! I’m still hurting but I know I can get back to that place where I feel free from Loving and caring about him again . When I have no feelings that I care what he does or who he’s with I will be ok . Also I’m working on my own Hurts from the past . I know the girl he with now is a pill popper and she has a lot of family and self problems so I know it not going to get better for her either. All I know she can deal with his Bullshit !!! I will be at Peace again . Thank you for sharing your Journey with us !!!
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Hi Alesia, sweetheart, I know that this makes things difficult, but even this can be navigated deftly when we are not in trauma. This resource might help you get started with my best advice on how to parallel parent with a narcissist: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/parallel-parenting-the-evolutionary-way-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/ Love and blessings xoxo
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
I wanted to tell you. Your video about scarcity consciousness finally made it click. I had been depressed. suicidal even and watching TONS of videos about narcissists. The truth is none of them would stick. they would help for a bit but then that. and the metaphor about the garden did it.
My ex wasn't psychotic, wasn't physically abusive, is rich and successful. He is also emotionally abusive, hurtful, never accepts blame, etc etc. I was constantly unhappy, I still wanted him. I finally see that he was unable to ever truly be a good partner. I finally see that its on me to walk away from this 'one' person who i think can feed me. I have met great guys since. And now I see that they are better for me. They are CAPABLE of love and kindness. Im stoked about life again! Thank you so much. YOU are an angel!
Give it time. You will heal and be better than before. Stay strong, do the inner work.
This sounds like my guy full on the emotional abuse, it really leaves no evidence and he is very calculating. Just broke no contact feel so annoyed because I will have to face the repocussions of this, he has a sicko smug new supply, when I was the new supply I made sure not to rub it in anyone’s face but boy is this new supply going to town it’s torture.
I went no contact 6 years ago only to have a friend tell me he was deathly ill. So I contacted his mother! well he suvived and the next thing l started getting emails from him. my survivor healthy self kicked in and I stopped him in his tracks :) this video was such a wonderful support and confirmation for me! Thank you. No contact! The only way!!!
I don't view it as an addiction NOW , I view it as having been a disconnect with myself, it's great he's free to be him and I am free to be me.
Thank you dear Melanie. That is exactly how I feel. Once we heal certain parts of us, there is no way to be back to what we were like before. Set backs are just temporary experiences and our consciousness knows that...
Thrive on Dear One xoxox
"You need to be held accountable" - this was exactly how I have felt time and time again. Thanks Melanie for explaining why you think this, and what you must do.
My pleasure Mark xoxo
before awakening i almost died, exhausted and breathing so badly, so sick, i had to live my life behind to survive. That's hard
That's right, it is like talking to a broken record. An inanimate object that can't listen to you and keeps saying the same thing over and over! It's like a bad joke.
I caved last night after 50 days no contact. I'm not mad at myself but I feel more powerful than I have been.
52 for me, and I don’t feel bad for breaking it but we do go back to square one 1
The marriage for life thing was a major belief for me too Melanie, thank you for this.
Its my pleasure Joe and I hope this has helped xoxox
Sean Dupree oh shit dude, I’m so sorry she’s abusing you. It’s true, most wont believe narcissist abuse, much less from a woman!!! But don’t give up. The answer is here in our own growth and mindset and hard inner work!
Say this you go no contact because of whatever happened in the abuse they Hoover you you do not respond to the Hoover and then a month later or 3 months later you respond
What does that show anybody not even a narcissist it shows them that you still care it shows them you're thinking of them and the narcissist will take that response and suck your blood dry ..then ghost you and you'll be worse off you damned if you do damned if you don't
Remember you wouldn't just go no contact with somebody that was enhancing and making your life better remember why you went no contact sit there and think days and days before you respond
That's what happened to me and I feel so upset about it. I want to take my power back so bad.
Absolutely true. Unfortunately I struggle with my mind. I have a very difficult time trying to think of Ah the negative she was. I’m stuck in the trauma bond and have no clue how in hell to get out.
@@crusitacorral8326 can we talk
@@khushbusingh1014 Of course
@@crusitacorral8326 do you have instagram?
Wish I found you 8y ago Mel. You are just phenomenal!!!
As you spoke, million light bulbs were gleaming in side my being. This is my awakening!!!!
Eyes wide opened ,omg liberating ,bless you.
This clicked to me 100% !!! 😘thank you a million times ! Awakening has the way for me happen step by step!
This video just kept me from making a very bad decision to call the Narc.
My problem is I never break no contact, he does. I can stay away forever but it is always him that calls me and I melt. I gotta get away and get healthy
@@rosettemarshall3024 If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
@@rosettemarshall3024 I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
@@rosettemarshall3024 Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
OMG- the craziest false belief that you mentioned about "If I see the narc, I'll get triggered and know what to work on so he's helping me evolve myself." WOW That's exactly what I thought for so long. Even till last night I was confused about this. Thanks for clearing this up for me.
The right answers at the right time! Thanks for being and doing your precious work for people!:)
Thanks 💯♥️ and Yes almost same Life story Melanie... 2 Steps forward and One back. For US not too US. “ Love is the Drug, the Narc is the Pusher, and the Victim the Addict!!! Blessings too all Thrivers 🦋
Thank you for making these videos, they have been much help to me. I am now in the area of no contact and it feels exactly as you say but I am doing it!! Years ago I actually went against my partener and went out and got my career, I explored many fields in such a short time!!! matron field, security field, medical field and another area of security! I stopped working in 2008 and broke alot of contact with people and things that did not feel right and like you, the second time around is ahhh I am not sure how to explain it other then freedom!
I understand the wanting to not give up but Im so thankful after watching this video thay I have never had an addictive personality! although I do love my coffee:) I have attracted narcissist many times but this last one was by far the most sadistic he is the only one that has been a nightmare to get rid of. I am praying he will leave me alone now that he sees that I know what he is and want nothing to do with him which means Im no longer a source of supply. I am working on forgiving myself for being so blind. He knew what he was doing from day one. He gives me the heebie geebies. I pray he will finally give up! Thank you for your videos you have great insight and an interesting view point!:) Lots of love and light your way. Thank you for spreading awareness.
Excellent delivery of the whole truth about how and why we break contact ❤ and how futile it is to do so. Yes, we want them to willingly take responsibility for what they have done to us but they are intently pointing out blame because they cannot admit to being anything other than the false self they have created. What was so confusing to me (co-dependant/empath) is how they play the humble or indignant victim card after they have harmed an intimate partner or close family member. Also how some family members are either very naive or even complicit in taking the narcissists word and their side in every relationship break-up when it should be glaringly obvious what the truth is. Triangulation? even when they see the victim with a cast on and all of that victims material possessions are in the narcissists home now. Willingly blind to protect the family image/name?
Mel, I applaud, welcome & loooove your honesty & transparency. By doing so, you have helped so many people to understand what the heck is going on with our addiction. You have helped us to NOT feel like a fool & a loser for breaking NO CONTACT. Thank you for explaining the rooted trauma in ourselves that must be acknowledged & healed. I had never heard of Quantum Freedom Healing but it makes so much sense.The fact that it worked for you is HUGE & so very encouraging. How do we go about freeing ourselves ? I just got hoovered last night & today after the usual ghosting.The break up is still fresh & I am still in love with him. Ugh ! Shite ! I NEED the Quantum healing before I go something foolish. Thank you for caring & sharing your valuable information & yourself. You are truly loved for your beautiful heart. God bless you, Spirit of Light & Love. 🕊
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
Mel you are absolutely on the button about this. Thanks again 👍🏻😁
My pleasure Jason and thank you! xox
im afraid to break no contact cause it might keep them from dying....
"No contact" - is a therapy tool. ''Contact'' after you've been encouraged to process your own thoughts is actually a good thing...
Set off some pretty disturbing alarms for me. Missing chunks of my childhood. I'm "getting it"... terrifying but okay. I can do this.
Found you 💜listening and put in practice all you say !!! Thank you ❤️ ! I love you're decorations and the outfit !
Anytime I get the urge to call my narassistic ex, I listen to Kelsea Ballerini's song called Peter Pan. I helps me remember that he will never change and that I already gave it my all before and ended up hurt
love your work Melanie and yes I used many of your same reasons...the funniest is once a week visits to get triggered...yup I considered that. To hear you speak out loud what I was thinking I laughed out loud at how ludicrous that was. Thanks for your honesty and a quantum way to resolve rather than my ' ludicrously funny' ideas,
You are light Melanie! Thank you so much for your continued inspiration and validation! Love you lots!! ❤️
My pleasure Red Lily, much love to you too! xoxox
THANK YOU Melanie😥💙👍.
Your amazing every video I am getting it through all your videos, I am relating to all of this. I am so done and going to do this work, I deserve to heal for real
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
God!!! I love listening to Melanie explaining things that I can relate to my very blood vessels!!!
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
Excellent! Melanie, you've been thru so much & now thrive so beautifully. hugs to you, pets to Tiggy.
Daphne thank you sweetheart for your lovely words and hugs. Tiggy says Hi and much love back!! xoxox
How do you do quantum freedom healing when your body is in so much PAIN?
Hi Hulia en Mexico - you go straight up to it - the pain, locate it, shift it out of your body and bring in Source/God/Creation/Universe (whatever YOU call it) to fill up with. All done with NO fear. blog.melanietoniaevans.com/pain-is-not-a-timeline-how-to-shift-through-pain-powerfully/ Love and blessings to you xoxox
Thank you for your response and link, Can you please have someone email me in regards to different playment plans, I missed the free course because I was already a member as in regards to signin in to your newsletter, it would not accept me
Wow, I’m speechless. I want to be free
Perfect video! Perfect timing! Thank you Melanie for sharing your experiences!!! Life saving! xoxo
Angineering you are so welcome :) xoxo
I just broke no cotact after 1.5 months and feel so so horrible! I have been in depression since we broke up and feel like I am falling apart and have very little contact with people in my life. The holidays are coming and I have a Son!!!!!
Hi Hulia, Here's another one for you Sweetheart th-cam.com/video/TwqXPs4KRJY/w-d-xo.html Please don't beat yourself up over this, nearly everyone does it! until you shift out the wounds and change beliefs you will be drawn back in. Are you working with NARP? If so, please take all this to the NARP Forum where you will receive support and guidance on how to heal this. If not, I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you, especially the ebook How to do No Contact www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse xoxox
I already applied, and I participated in an online workshop. I have emailed your group to send me programs of payment and of assistance and still have not had a response. I do not know if my Xis a narcissist or not but I need help. Thank You
Hi Hulia - I'm chasing it up hun, apologies for any delay. Love and blessings xoxox
thank goodness before I had to call and negotiate a reunion I found Melanie. I have even 7+ months later been still so wrapped up in the emotional charge. I'm in 2 12-step programs and still..... sometimes I have to just come in the morning to listen and be reinforced that reuniting with a destructive force is not the answer.
Blooming...Congratulations ! I pray that you stay strong & courageous. The destruction that these creatures hurl upon the empathetic & kind human beings is evil & cruel. It/they are nothing short of a demonic stronghold. I have only 2 months of limited contact & am struggling to do No Contact. But God can do the impossible.Keep your faith & trust in Him. I am. God bless you. Hang in there. I'm doing my utmost best also. 🕊
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Thank you. You've helped me so much. Wish I could have no contact but we have a child together and it's been so hard. Do you have a video about co-parenting with a narcissist.
"This old chestnut" lol yup
This is a great video. I was married to a narcisist for 2.5 years. It was extremely hard when we separated. I hoped and prayed for restoration prerry much the whole marriage . Then, after separating I started praying for discernment and wisdom. Boy did I get it. Its like every Avenue information could come my way it came. I reached out to his ex wife and asked her am I loosing my mind of is he a narcisist? She said he IS !! And from there I watched your videos alot and Dr. Carter and Romani and started healing. By 6 months I was so good with the divorce. My dog chihuahua I had 17 years, who was my rock and companion , passed suddenly 6 weeks after ex left me and I had nothing to hold on to . All my grief turned to his passing . All I had was Jesus and HE became my rock! Almost 4 years after I am doing wonderful and blessed. Still havent dated one person. Still have some anxiety but my heart is healed ! I miss my dog terrible though. I remember your kitty passed a while back so I'm sure you can relate. Your story is incredible. Thank you.
Smiling My Thanks ~
this is how I felt because I was trying to do nc without blocking because I found it hard to block people and would sometimes unblock again.. which I'm sure he used this in his smear campaign to say I'm emotionally unstable because I would block/ then unblock. so this time I tried nc without blocking but he kept reaching out, every other day so I had to block finally otherwise subtlely the cycle would start again and I would get sucked in again. I used to tell myself that I would only be around him for a little while and that he was helping me with my triggers until I started working on myself inside even more. I am just praying that I don't unblock again.
"The bowels of Hell" ~ Yup 😕
The Healing Heart...Yes, "a demonic nightmare " !Thank God there are beautiful people like Melanie to share of herself & her valuable information to help suffering victims like us. God bless you. 🕊
awesome Mel! x
What does it mean when they contact you? My narc contacted me. Sending condolences to me for my lost in my family. Then continued conversation afterwards until i ask a question they didnt want to answer. Also saying they love me always and forever. Even though i know they lives with his new supply.
They are after Narcissistic Supply hun. This explains some more for you ... blog.melanietoniaevans.com/what-is-narcissistic-supply/ If you would like to know more I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you understand more and know there is a solution of he won't contact you again xoxox
www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm
Yup, my life!! Wow!
I NEEDED THIS
I broke no-contact after two months on Easter and sent him a gift and a nice card. He of course kept the gift and then kept on ghosting me. Believe it or not it helped the healing process because it reminded me what a despicable person he is and how I'm better off now.
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
I just want to say that listening to you has been good for my psychie because my narcissist was an Aussie and threw that in my face all the time. She constantly told me how inferior I was as a Canadian. Have you ever seen this kinda thing with different Nationalities? tell me not all Australians are like that?
Susan, its a narcissistic thing!! Totally not about cultures! xoxo
Not all of us Aussies are like that!! ❤
Please please! I’m hoping somebody can answer this-I went no contact about a week ago via text which I immediately blocked so I never got a response obviously. I wasn’t quick enough in blocking my email and I got 2 vile nasty horrible emails about what a terrible person I was. We knew he would do that right? I shut that account down to so he has no way to get a hold of me unless it’s through postal mail or showing up which I seriously doubt he will do. Anyway everything was going great until I saw him on television this morning. There is a huge funeral where I live and he is in public safety so he had to be there. Excuse me for saying this but I completely lost my shit -all I wanted to do was contact him .seriously. Have not but it seems like I am counting the minutes. Now all of a sudden I want to cry etc. Can somebody tell me if this is normal and what to do? Please please!
Hi Amber, yes, it's perfectly normal!! You are not going crazy Sweetheart, it's the addiction to the narcissist kicking in. I would love you to connect to my free resources to help you www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse and have a look at these videos to help you understand what is happening right now for you th-cam.com/video/tg7DtfY8BCk/w-d-xo.html Love and blessings to you xoxox
I still have hope she can change, I genuinely don't wish her ill will, I hope she gets all the help she needs. I get a panicked feeling just posting this comment because she follows my social media and has her friends follow my online posts and sends them to me. Its so beyond anything I ever thought would happen to me :-(
A narc will never ever change. Go away as quickly as You can. Narcs are demons.
Hey Melani thank you for the profound video. Now he is sleeping in the guests room, I do feel much better now that we are not talking or dealing with each other at all. yet, I am still afraid of sending him out, I did that three times during the past three years, and every time I begged him to come back home! I did some healing work on my subconscious, I do feel more empowered now yet am not sure if this empowerment would survive the panic attacks of losing him! what should I do?
What to do if the narc is a parent and expects contact on a regular basis?
Low-contact! Keep it all about the kids and keep the convo short to the point. Almost one word to a few word sentences.
low contact and when you feel ready financially, leave
So let them expect.....so what?
Coming up to one year no contact! However sightings of narc in car are common. I'll never get used to that adrenaline surge...
Wiley I promise you that when you address the trauma in your body that is getting triggered there will be NO charge - period. That is the experience we all live when we do the inner work in the way that works ... xoxox
hi Melanie.. this is so true. i broke no contact a few days ago, so today i started meditating and feel better, but i need to know how to ended. my son is eighting still living with me. and i dont know how to convince him to leave this place. and the worst part is that my son wont leave, because he knows that "the narcisist" is the one who is working at the moment. so i really need your help in this. i dont know what would happen if i left and would leave my son in such a toxic" enviroment. which is actually a very dangers zone." im not talking about physically but especially mentally and emotionally. :/ i hope i can hear from you soon. this is a very tough spot.'
thanks again Melanie
♡
Hallo Melanie, it is such a great explanation and help in this matter. You are completely right and thanks for sharing this informations. My gf, who I had a far distance relationship with for over a year, broke up with me 4 weeks ago and I am going throught the NC phase. I realize she is a true narcissist and I can feel myself in almost everything that you are saying.
I ll check out more videos from you and I also can recommend Corey Wayne`s channel for men in similiar situations. Feeling like giving you a hug now.
Greetings from germany.
Hi Chrissi, I am so pleased this information is helping you. A big cyber hug back to you from Australia xoxox
"Less than" never again!
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
Seems like a good trick is profiling the narc or associating them with images that stimulate a negative or turn off value. Knowing my own beliefs and moral values, that the narc by no means can uphold those principles with me so it was easy for me in less than three months time to have that frame of mind towards her. Today she texted me for a phone number. I texted only the number and nothing more. I didn't wait, I don't feel the need to be malicious, but more like a chore that I want to get done as quickly as possible so as to alleviate the unpleasantness about it. If there is no emotional energy to put into it it doesn't feel like much of a breach. I was a bit agitated for a half hour and yelled "whore" with some zesty adjectives attached to it but I'm no worse for the wear. Lol
I broke no contact after 7months because I thought it would be good for our now 18month old baby but I end up feeling hurt all over again so I'm back no contact and wont break it again. I only reached out because he kept trying to reach me🥺
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
How do you release and heal the trauma it seem s kind of difficult where to start?
Natalie the NARP Program is exactly that system www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp Check it out plus research all the reviews on it. You will see there is a way to heal from this. xoxo
Melanie Tonia Evans
brilliant. thank you.
My pleasure CandyAppleRed xoxox
omg i can totally relate its horrible i feel like a herion adict never used of course but im saverly trauma bonded severly depressed
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
came upon this video and page via a friend's facebook and can tell from this alone there is much to check out. Question in the short term, what happens when the narcissist(s) are your parents and parts of your family? How does one cope with that? Does anything change there vs. when dealing with a narcissistic lover or spouse? I went through a period of about 3-4 years without contact on my dad's side of the family (have always lived with my mom's side and they also have their own narcissistic issues I should add as well at times) before going back a couple of years ago and sometimes I have regretted it and contemplated walking away again, only to feel bad about the idea of it and thus staying put. It's always been rough on me dealing with them in particular with my dad with clashes over many many things, some valid issues maybe on my side that I am working to deal with, others not as valid. Has often felt like I have to walk on eggshells which is not fun to say the least as I am sure you know. Any thoughts here? I would greatly appreciate it.
Ajk I have created some videos, article and radio shows about Family Of Origin narcissistic abuse - including parents. If you google my name + family and parents you will find these resources. I hope that will help. Yes, also (and you will understand this better by going through this material) the healing from any narcissist is exactly the same process. xoxo
Hi Melanie-
I didn't see the link for the blog, maybe this is the right place?
I broke NC by sending a HBD text message yesterday. I am in major cognitive dissonance right now, I cried like a baby all night last night, and most of today. It makes NO sense to me why I CANNOT seem to let go of this and get over him. Like you, I went almost an entire year NC, but when I got really strong and got my life back on track, he sniffed me out and I let him back in again last December, it was the usual intermittent reinforcing mind games in covert fashion. I kept myself in a state of mindfulness, but the obsession kicked in. Ultimately sabotaging everything I had worked for, and I wound up with a whole new set of health problems to boot. He is now in a new relationship with someone else, yet continues to try to contact me. This I know because I feel the psychic pull and accidentally found a way to discover when he attempts contacting me. I am insane right now and my mind is playing all kinds of tricks on me. I need your help, I can't do this anymore, I need to get my life and myself back. I don't want to live this way.
Hi Olivia, it is above now blog.melanietoniaevans.com ... and yes of course you can comment here.
You poor thing Olivia, I am so sorry you are going through this, I know it all so well!!
Olivia these two suggestions are the best of the best that help people recovery from what you are struggling with in this Community -
www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp and www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
These are the Core Work of Thriver Recovery
I hope this helps xoxox
Thank you for sending me the information. I am going to do it. I am in the process of moving, because I can no longer afford my apt., but I am doing this as soon as I can find a way. Thank you!
This is awesome
Someone pls tell me. We broke up 1 week and he called me yesterday i did not respond him. And today i viewed his whatsp statuses by mistake. Does it break the NC?
Hi Awanthi,
This resource can help: th-cam.com/video/i58f8mXbuGI/w-d-xo.html
Love and blessings xoxox
Being with a narcissist is like being in jail waiting on death row.
Its a sick, sick nauseating feeling.
They need to stay single. U cannot deal with them on any level.
hi Mel, I broke contact after 11 mos. For the kids. I just felt things could be better now that he's not as mean as he used to. but I know he has not changed, and will not change. I'm not sure if I can continue living like walking on eggshells, and be VERY careful of my words & actions, so not to awake the beast in him. It is so inauthentic! I know it is ridiculous, why I have to put up with that kind of life. still confused, even after doing NARP a couple of times, and re-watching Ur videos for almost a year.
3ranchview come into the NARP Forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/member and we will help support and guide you. The Module work - especially at the start needs to be very dedicated, because there its lots of trauma we need to shift to get well. That is what Mod 1 is all about. xoxo
Great Video.
Hi Melanie! your videos helped me alot but I wonder can you make a video how to deal with the narc when you are constantly around him(i go in the same class as the guy)
Advice is good too! (i asked to much)
I may do this in the future - yes Proja! xoxox
+Melanie Tonia Evans Thank ypu,infinite love!♥
What if the mother shows no signs of narcissism?
I’ve been going thru this for over a decade. What if the child has been influenced by a third party? Years and years of her “Stepmother talking in her ear? Prying into how I lived my life, always dropping negative things about me? My daughter wedding was The Worst Day of My Life, when her stepmother stood up when it was the parents time to stand. My daughter was my life and she knew it. This not only ripped apart my heart and it almost killed me. This is an epidemic now. Even for the parents who never abused them? Who only loved them? Took good care of them? Your actions by you enabling and encourage them No Contact destroys an entries family. Exactly who is the Narcissist?
Noreen, my heart goes out to you with everything you've been through. Sweetheart please I'd love to sign up to my Free 16 Day Recovery course where you can learn more and get deeper understandings and truths so you can start healing from this for real. www.youcanthrivebook.com/freecourse Love and blessings xoxox
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Melanie, You had mentioned that you have been "spiritual for ages". Now that you have found internal enlightenment has your spiritual belief changed in any way? You had mentioned your Christian friends even told you that God did not want you to be in a bad relationship. Do you believe in the Christian God that has the son of Jesus? I'm asking you for personal reasons. Ever since I have had internal enlightenment I am now viewing "God" differently. I am seeing a much bigger picture of how the brain thinks and how God fits into that thinking pattern. If you have had differences in that belief if it was a learned structure from you early upbringing I would love to know if your thinking has changed in relation to "spiritual" or "religion"? Thanks if you're willing to share.
Nick my spiritual beliefs have become so much wider and inclusive than they were previously. I am happy to share. I don’t believe there is a “path” to God because God and us are already one - it is only our delusions about separation (traumas of being unloveable, unworthy and defective) that have ever separated us. I actually never believed a denominational religious sense … it never resonated with me - even as a young child, yet I totally acknowledge that any “way” people can hand over the burden (release trauma) and have faith in a Higher Power brings salvation when the focus is to release Who We Are Not (fear and pain) and allow Source / God (acceptance and love) to flow through us. I hope that makes sense. xoxox
Thank you for taking the time to answer my question. Yes, it makes sense. I grew up Greek Orthodox and I actually grew up in Greece for my first 9 years of life and had attended church every Sunday begrudgingly. I have never felt comfortable in church as I watched all the people pray for their suffering to end. I could easily see how someone could take advantage of someone in that state of mind and I always felt much more in tune with a higher power when I was alone instead of a large crowd. I also do understand how some people find comfort in those group type of events. I don't believe I would have been able to understand any of your videos if I had not been a victim of narcissistic abuse. I love the piece and comfort that radiates off of you and the message you share in bringing kindness to the world.
You are SO welcome Nick - love and blessings to you Dear One xoxox
Richard Grannon was able to give a pretty good explanation of "God" from the psychology viewpoint NOT the religious one. It helped me get a better understanding of what I was feeling about "God". If you're interested it's a bit triggering for people with deep religious connections/beliefs. th-cam.com/video/UldLYUSYQtQ/w-d-xo.html
+Melanie Tonia Evans Dear Melanie on the other page some Whisperer trolled me. I don't know her and she made a false accusation I was on Pinterest? I gave her a no contact but after suffering what I went through. ive never been on Pinterest. This Whisperer isn't defining me but defining herself to judge. And if I was a narc I memorizrd all the tactic's. well I unsubscribe. Think someone needs to screen trolls out. Im moving on. most of these sites are lemonade stands. 💀
Hey Mel, I got some interesting questions for you. do you divide narcicistic abuse in overt and covert abuse? For example there can be more suddle embodied BS just like "don't have any emotional needs, you are never seen" for me it has something to do with an addiction to alcohol and having no empathie, could we also call this narcicistic abuse? all right, doesn't matter how we call it. it's just the impact that matters. kindest regards.
Hi Splif Beatz, I'm not sure I understand your question - can you please put it a way I can understand? xx
Melanie…. It was New Zealand that was the first country in the world to have votes for women…..not Australia. It was 1893.
Do they act this way when it was just a neighbor?
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
you have to break no contact if there are children involved
Many people in the community go Strict Modified No Contact when they have children vilamor007, I explain how to do this in the free ebook in the New Life starter pack ... www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm this will help you xoxox
Low-contact! Keep it all about the kids and keep the convo short to the point. Almost one word to a few word sentences.
Melanie, you're funny. Slapping the arm for a little contact with the narcissist. :)
Melanie does a good job at describing the addictive process of the magnetized circle of crazy with the narcissist is all.
I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that kept going back and now I know why. I live with him so it’s hard. But enough is enough. No more excuses plus he’s not that wonderful of a person for me to keep him in my life yet alone sleep with him. I feel like I woke up twice. 25 years of HELL AND FALSENESS AND FAKE. So glad to be untied with the 🤮
Whew. Thank you! Being nice made me wanna throw up
Is there any possibility that a Narc can love anyone??
No. Not the way we can love. Love require intimacy, respect, empathy. The narc is not capable of this. He will only 'love; what you can provide , not you.
Thank you just a myth they tell you that had screwed with my head
Indifference. It actually surprised me, but only for a minute
We're you married? I have been married 31 years
Australia gave women the right to vote first? Or are you thinking of New Zealand 🇳🇿 with Australia second? But I, a woman from the county of woman's rights still has the same ancient truma of needing a man. Still with my trauma bonded partner and needs this community's support ❤
hello "MTE" (just kidding Melanie) i may sound crazy here, but my husband is amazing..believe it or not my narcissist is a friend i made long ago. i was bullied and isolated in my younger years and making friends is such a big deal for me so i joined a mom's group years ago. i have no idea what happened but this friend started as a social contact within the group and one day she started calling and texting all the time. she made me feel like she really wanted to be my friend and started calling me BFF. we would have tons of fun together and because of all the feeling of closeness i ignored and tolerated the times when she would be bossy or controlling because i had the close friendship that i longed for. i did my best to be a good friend and one day i made a joke about her and she got unreasonably upset. Granted her and I joked all the time about other people and other things so i didn't understand her degree of upset. Honestly, it never got better again, it seemed like everything I said she took as a personal attack. She said she wanted cookies once so i took her a bag of cookies as a gift, then she made a comment on facebook saying she has been trying to diet and she needs a friend that won't bring her cookies. so i felt bad and tried to diet with her. but again another day she found a way to take a comment personally and this time she told me her feelings were more important than the friendship and i felt so terrible i went months tring to fix myself thinking it was somehow my fault the friendship ended. I felt again like the child that had be abandon by friends and didn't know why. well after "fixing" myself i went back to try the friendship again, apologizing for whatever things i had unknowingly done. i tried to do everything that i thought she wanted me to do and say. but she kept finding ways to reject me or blame me for things i didn''t mean. For example; i sent her a text message asking about her how she felt about hanging out on her birthday and she blocked me and told me i was disturbing her on her family vacation. There was no way to know she was on a family vacation at that moment and she told me i was making her mad asking her questions and trying to be her friend again. The tricky part is the moment i moved on i apologized for anything i may have done wrong and decided to move on. she messaged me and said she was mad and i would still be blocked on her phone but when we see each other at the moms group it's still ok to talk. in my mind i keep thinking about how i can convince her that she was wrong about all the times she took a comment as a personal attack. and when it feels safe i try to explain a moment from the past to clearify and she blows up all over again. and for some stupid reason i keep feeling like im the one that is wrong. well anyway your videos and words have been helping a lot. i still get urges to want to explain to her how she misunderstood something i said but i know she will just blow up at me and blame me for something else i don't mean to say. the hard part is i stopped going to the group to avoid her and she messaged me saying not to stop coming to the group because of her. i honestly love the group but im afraid to be in the same room as her. i feel like that experience has made me avoid trying to make new friends in my adulthood.
my long winded point is that my "Super Narc" lol is a friendship not a relationship. is that weird?
ok u are not addicted to drugs or something.
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
Melanie I was with a Narcissist like 6 years ago stayed in the relationship for 2.5 years. Not until I went NC and I was so stunned to find out he was a Narcissist. I couldn’t understand why he acted the way he did until I researched his behavior . I found a web site Kim Seed and I was so stunned of how this Website described my Ex to the last word . I even wrote in how did you know this ? I went NC for 4 yrs did Great and I got my Power back . It was Devastating to my self to go through all the hurt it left me . I had a older Sister that helped me so much and she hated him for all that he put me through . Then 4 yrs later my older sister that was my Rock passed away and it’s has been a year since her Passing. I had seen him through the 4 yrs with his new supply and he would have the nerve to greet me every time . My defense was that I hated him so bad I wouldn’t acknowledge him at all . I wouldn’t say hi I would just turn me head . We went to the same Gambling casinos do sometimes I would see him with her . Anyway one night I go into the Casino and I run into him and him and his Mom are giving their respects to me about my Sister. Anyway I ran into them again and I made the stupid mistake of unblocking him from my fb acct after being blocked all this time prior . What a dumb move that was . During this 1 st year of my Sister passing a lot has changed in my Life . I have a Disabled Brother that I care for all by myself . When I need breaks I have a niece that comes to stay with him so I can get out . Anyway I ended up tuning into him at the Casino by then he was not with his ex . Their relationship had run its course and they were done . So I run into him and he’s not blocked anymore from my fb and I get a message on messenger from him asking me to go his house and drink with him . I go and we start seeing each other again every day for 3-4 months . The relationship is the same before but what I noticed this time is I’m getting Frustrated with the things he was always asking me to do this for him or that ? I was voicing my Frustration and started not to give in as much and he was getting on my nerves . I felt like he trying to Suck our Everything out of me and it was Annoying!!!! Anyway then the Silent Treatment cake where he said he was Depressed then when I was allowed to go his house I noticed like a Burger King bag was on the other side of his bed . It was a indication that he had someone else in his room . Hmm !!! I didn’t say anything about until he started the silent Treatment again . I confronted him and told him if he was seeing someone else just to say it so I could walk away . You know them he lied and said I was just so Jealous . He didn’t have no one there . Of course picking a fight with me . So more days went by with no Text from him . Then a week after that I just went NC on him again. He owed me some money but of course it was too hard to even see if he would pay me back or not . I was just done . I heard from his mom she is talking to him again . I’m assuming they are back together. So I beat myself why would I go back knowing what a Jerk he is to me!!! I’m so Mad at myself . When I went back I was feeling really Lonely in my Life . So it’s been 6 days but the first days it was really hard to stop crying and going through my Healing . My therapy for me is Praying to my God to mend my Broken Heart again . To take all my Feelings for him away from me !!!! I’m still hurting but I know I can get back to that place where I feel free from Loving and caring about him again . When I have no feelings that I care what he does or who he’s with I will be ok . Also I’m working on my own Hurts from the past . I know the girl he with now is a pill popper and she has a lot of family and self problems so I know it not going to get better for her either. All I know she can deal with his Bullshit !!! I will be at Peace again . Thank you for sharing your Journey with us !!!
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
Chat him on WhatsApp he's gonna help you
No contact is the hardest thing to do when you have CHILDREN...
Hi Alesia, sweetheart, I know that this makes things difficult, but even this can be navigated deftly when we are not in trauma. This resource might help you get started with my best advice on how to parallel parent with a narcissist: blog.melanietoniaevans.com/parallel-parenting-the-evolutionary-way-to-co-parent-with-a-narcissist/
Love and blessings xoxo
нello тнere, greeтιngѕ нow are yoυ тoday? ι ĸnow нow ιт ғeelѕ тo вe dιvorce or нearтѕ вroĸen
If you're having any challenges in restoring back your broken relationship inbox father right now if you need help i know of someone who will help you
I can't believe am with my lover again after many years of break-up to get back with your ex reunite with your soulmate save your marriage from divorce inbox him now
± ①⑨⑤①⑤⑨⑨⑧④⑥⑧???????????‼️
👍👍👍👍👍
Am I watching Kath & Kim 🤔