The night before my second husband passed, he wanted to go outside. I got him up and into the wheelchair and took him out without telling anyone. We sat out there for two hours, talking about my future without him. We knew it would be soon, he'd been fighting cancer for 7 months and he was tired of everything. Chemo, doctors, tubes and monitors. Everything. Hearing Stevie as the old man made me remember that night. Its been 25 years and I'm sobbing like I just lost him.
I lost my mum to cancer 15 years ago. She was always so strong, so confident. I didn't realize she was fed up with the therapy until she was gone. I just assumed she would be fighting on like she had always been.
Sending love to you. My dad passed 16 years ago in March. He was done about a month before he finally passed. I don't blame him. He spent almost 2 years fighting cancer the doctors initially said he had less than six months to live from. Between the chemo and the radiation and the colostomy he ended up needing, he had done his fighting. He even got off hospice the August before he passed. I miss him all the time.
This made me cry because I've been here. I'm a terminal patient and after being hospitalized for almost two weeks my husband snuck me outside so we could sit on a bench at the front of the hospital. I just wanted some fresh air for a few minutes and to not have to listen to machine beeping or alarms going off down the hall. It was the first snow of the year and he wanted to surprise me with it since he knows how much I love the snow. When my nurse found me she scolded me for a solid while and I just cried silently watching the snow fall. I kept my husband from yelling at her and I asked her to sit with us for a few minutes and watch the snow. She sat with us for almost 20 minutes before she got us and wheeled me back inside, but whenever I said I wanted some air after that she would let us slip out for a few minutes.
Hey, I hope you're still around to read this: May the rest of your days be filled with peace and love. Your family loves you to pieces, your friends love every last bit of you. I hope you can still see many more snows, be it down here or up there as a angel. Thank you for existing
Hope you're still around to see this as well because you seem like a truly kind, sweet and lovely person. Even if you're time is short we have truly been blessed by your presence and the mark you have made.
This is exactly what I was feeling. My son has a life threatening illness since he was born. I never leave his side. There are so many times when all you want to do is feel the sunshine or smell fresh air. Living with an illness, especially one where you are forced to be inpatient just to survive, is really overwhelming.
Because as nurses we’ve all gone through this situation! It’s our job to keep people alive yet if I had a patient like this I would be advocating for hospice STAT! People deserve to be able to choose how they want to live and how they want to die.
Now that made me cry. So many patients actually do feel that way even though we know that hospital staff are only doing their job. The older you get, the more it seems like you lose control of life and the things that you want.
Made me cry too. I'm at a place in life where my feelings are similar to Mr Goodbar's. Never expected this, but who does? Anyway, I just talked to the hospice coordinator today, and I can start their program whenever I'm ready; my diagnosis pre-qualified me. Woohoo. Hey, at least I won't be forced into any extreme measures against my will. Thank you, Stevejoe. It's a very sensitive topic, and you handled it beautifully.
Dude, I can tell from this skit that you have had this conversation for real. I hope when I get old and cranky there's someone like you there for me. Thanks for doing it.
That's what we all need. I know I wasn't always able to deliver that breath of fresh air to my family members. But I tried to sneak in extra chocolate. Die happy.
This is beautifully made. As a nurse we try to "fix" people or make them feel better, but sometimes the best thing we can do is let a person die with a little bit of dignity. Listen to our patients and make them as comfortable as possible. I think hospice is a very under utilized service and many people think it's taboo. I think it's the must beautiful time as a nurse. We help families come to grips with a terminal illness. We make patients as comfortable as we can. We try to do as much for them as we possibly can. We try to ease as much suffering as we can. When a patient dies we sometimes cry with the family because the patient became part of our family. That's ok. That's what makes us human.
I love being a hospice nurse. It's an incredible honor to care for people at the end of their life. Every one is a bittersweet gift. Every smile is a blessing. People should be able to die at home, comfortable and surrounded by those who love them. Someone has to teach them how. Thank you for all the good you do!
Good hospice nurses are literal angels in human form. To constantly face death, to ease someone's suffering in their final moments, to comfort the family and take some of the burden off of them. Thank you for what you do
I’m not religious at all but I truly feel hospice nurses are angels. 3 of my grandparents utilized hospice when their end was near and they had the most peaceful passings.
I loved being a hospice nurse. But it sparked something inside. Why don't we do this earlier in life? Attend to the person as if it is their last day. Tomorrow is never promised.
This was my first non-"shorts" steveioe video. I clicked on it expecting to laugh and be called a mufckr, and instead I got hit right in the feels. It was beautiful.
I remember the day my grandfather passed away. We all knew it was coming as he had been hospitalized for weeks. He started that day very lucid. He made it clear that he didn't want to be resuscitated much to the arguments of my aunts, uncles and cousins. He just said that he wanted us to let him go when the time came, he wanted to see my grandmother to say goodbye (she was in a nursing home a few blocks away with dementia and other issues) and finally he asked me to just sit with him and hold his hand until he was gone. My mother and I were the only ones who gave him those wishes. Everyone else just fought and argued. I stayed next to him for the next 8 hours, holding his hand. My mother got my grandmother and they had the most beautiful moment. He called her his little hellcat and told her he loved her and to stay feisty. My mom took her back and then came and sat vigil with me. He began to stop being lucid about 2 hours before he passed. My uncles tried telling me to leave the room and I refused. My grandfather just kept his grip on my hand the whole time. When his heart stop my uncles and aunts went into a tizzy screaming for the doctors and nurse to come resuscitate him and I finally told them all to stop being "Selfish pricks" and to sit down and let this man that we love go in peace the way he wanted. I knew he was gone when he let go of my hand. My mom and I just got up and gently kissed his forehead and began cleaning him and wrapping him in clean blankets. The rest of my family just stood there arguing, fighting and making it all about them. None of them have talked to me since, and you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm just glad I was there to be his hand to hold until the end.
Not only did you honor his wish to die as he wanted to, but you also received and gave him love. Dying people ask the ones around them who they want to be with them at the end. He chose you, your mother and his wife. Well done. You have beautiful memories of his death. Loving people is also about honoring their wishes at the end days. The other people in this story missed an incredible opportunity to be present while sending this man to heaven with love! ❤
Your actions were 💯% correct. The person passing gets to determine what they do/don't want. However sometimes we have stubborn, knuckleheaded relatives that can't honor the last wishes. I'm sorry you had to be a battle warrior at such a traumatic time. 😭🙏💐
As someone who is caretaker (partially, Boyfriend is the fulltime) to my boyfriend's 76 year old, wheelchair bound, Vietnam vet of a father who goes through spells like this... It hit hard. You do excellent work.
Well often this is their entire mindset, they just keep going for their family even thou their whole life is pain. It is one of the big issues in modern medicin. When to end curative therapy
Please tell your boyfriend’s dad that I said thank you for his service to our country. Tell him I am very proud of all the people that went to that war as it was a God awful situation. God Bless!! 🙏🏼❤️🌻😊🙏🏼❤️🌻🙏🏼❤️🌻
i work in a rehab hospital and this made me cry. seeing so many patients like this breaks my heart. i broke down crying when you said “nothing i want matters to anyone!” sometimes healthcare workers forget that physical care isn’t the only thing we care for.
As someone with a terminal diagnosis, this really hits home. A lot of Drs will try to keep you in at all costs, regardless of the patients quality of life. A nurse or dr who listens is unbeatable.
Yeah, this is why places like Dignitas exist, so people can die with dignity at a time of their choosing. We wouldn't force our pets to live such a poor quality of life, so why should we force humans to?
1) most doctors “don’t like to lose”, so yes, many will continue to offer options 2) families “don’t like to lose” even more… often (unintentionally) guilting a patient to “at least try” this, that, or the other thing
When the radiation and chemo to kill my dad's prostate cancer ended up not working, his attitude was "fuck this shit, I'm out." He got them to send him home, stopped eating, and was gone in less than three days. My dad had been a Marine, and then taught high school for 33 years, and he didn't brook disagreement. I hope if I'm ever in a similar position, I can do the same thing.
I think it's more than just a hospital policy. The nurse really had the old man's best interests in heart, but nurses are terribly busy and sometimes forget that patient's best interests and patient's wishes may not be one and the same.
It’s really tough at the end. What science, we can keep people alive for such a long time, but people forget sometimes about quality of life. What’s the point of keeping someone alive to keep them sitting in a hospital chair all the time?
@@olmostgudinaf8100Patients have rights. Unless they are declared mentally incompetent or someone with power of attorney forces them to stay, a patient has every right to refuse treatment and leave. With that said, I recently had a liver transplant and was in really bad shape before and briefly after transplant (I’m relatively young so my recovery is going super fast now). While I got frustrated with the limitations hospital staff put on me, I knew they had my best interests in mind. So, listen to your nurses and doctors unless you know for sure you are terminal and just want some semblance of normal life before passing.
I'm a nurse. I can relate. There have been times I've had to sit and comfort an elderly patient who didn't want treatment any more, but to live out what's left of their time on earth in peace and in the comfort of their own homes. However, their families want the hospital to do "EVERYTHING" to keep grandma/grandpa alive. Breaks my heart every single time.
🤦♀️ Those families are selfish - they’re not thinking of the patient, just themselves- reminds me of this one family who was trying to get the courts to force a hospital to keep their brain dead child (brain dead from birth) on machines after the hospital said it was time- that poor child was suffering in pain every day- just a corpse kept alive by machines and being poked and prodded, & they just wanted the child to remain hooked up for life despite there being no quality of life nor chance for any sort of recovery- really gross actually and tying up resources that could be used in someone who needed them 🤦♀️ It’s difficult to let someone go, but when it’s their time, it’s their time
Same here, I'm a nurse who works with ederly people. Here it's the doctors, they're never giving up on trying to find the etiology for everything, never stop a treatment until it's too late to stop and start palliative care. I will always remember the people we've tried to "save", ultimately losing them in a miserable condition because our doctors wouldn't let them go. I'm not saying we should give up on everyone easily, I'm just saying sometimes, when the patient is 80-90, even 100 years old, he had had a good life, and deserves to go decently, without pain.
@@candicecart9786 It's selfish, but a selfishness born out of pain and fear, I imagine. Not greed for power and self-righteousness (like, say, antivaxxers or no-maskers, for example). None of us want to hurt, and we often think we know best for others. People think they can avoid that hurt by postponing the inevitable, but really, they are holding themselves in a prolonged state of it. Your case was horrifying and extreme. Sounds like an example of how wealth can create a sense of power that, when challenged, leaves nothing but denial that their resources can't fix everything. So much of this comes from a culture that has a fearful relationship with death. It perpetuates itself because we aren't prepared to handle it when it happens, and then we're so traumatized, we can't talk about it afterwards - which continues the cycle because others aren't educated and prepared. Ugh. I really need to find a grief counselor. I can't imagine holding on so long like this. Sudden death is hard enough to deal with. 💜
@@flyushkifly I don’t know how anti vax and and anti mask are greedy for power… they just wanna do their own thing. Wether or not they just don’t care about weak people dying or they’re crazy and think it’s gonna kill them or is a tracking chip. I honestly don’t care. I do find the crazy crazy ones funny tbh. Paranoia is funny to watch on people. And if they wanna get themselves killed they can go for it. Anyone else can wear their shit or get their shots and be either fine or too weak.
This really hit hard. You did such an incredible job I was in hospital for 4 months straight last year. First 2 months I wasn't allowed any leave, and all I wanted was fresh air. After I finally got clearance for an hour leave at a time one of the nurses started taking me out to the grassy patch outside emergency's entrance for hot chocolate. It was honestly the best. It was about so much more than just fresh air. She made me feel like a person, not just a patient Nurse's really are heros. You guys deserve so much more appreciation
This really got to me. As a person with a few illness’s everybody forgets your feelings. From family that have no patience, to the drs that treat you like a number. It does get very depressing at times. Thank you 😊
I've felt that way as a Pt. I try very hard not to make others I care for feel that way. It's easy to do because you just go in "work mode" and kinda forget that these people have feelings, are scared, lonesome. I'm sorry for that. I will continue to do my best to make all those I care for feel loved even if it's for a minute.
I relate to this old guy too much. I was inpatient in ICU/SCU for over 6 months about 10years ago. All I wanted was for someone to listen to what I wanted. I was on chemo and when my hair started falling out I wanted it shaved but nobody would do it. I asked that dialysis occur after physical therapy because I always felt sluggish after dialysis but it almost never happened. I wanted to go sit outside on Easter but staff got too busy to get a wheelchair. I wanted a razor to shave my beard off after 3 months but docs said infection risk was too high but my overnight nurse, Mike, came in at 2am, woke me up and carefully gave me a shave anyway - I cried because someone finally heard what I needed. I get that there’s a lot of things that should and shouldn’t be done but sometimes there are little things that could mean the world to a patient, like sitting outside, and could help them heal... In an ideal world, if it’s not going to make them worse or if they may not survive their stay maybe it’s not such a bad thing to say ok to someone.
@@wstmag8 I appreciate that greatly. And thank you for choosing a profession caring for others in their time of need. My mother was a RN for 42 years and my sister has a masters in nursing. I appreciate more than many the sacrifices given and demands placed on nurses which is why no matter how much I wanted to be heard, I never blamed the nurses for not hearing me. I understand the bureaucracy and dynamics at play and understand that it's not always (if ever) the nurses decision on what care is provided. Congratulations on graduating, and thanks again
I had an elderly gentleman admitted w/this horrible beard. It was obvious the home health aide wasn’t 4:33 bathing him properly and the dirt was built up under his beard. It was finally my day having him as a patient and I was so annoyed w/my peers for not shaving him. So I started shaving him, word got out on the floor and each nurse came in saying to me, “oh I am so glad it’s you getting in trouble and not me, his wife is going to be mad. How are you going to explain it?”. I looked at them and said I’m telling her the truth, his face is filthy under the beard and for me to properly wash his face he needed to be shaved. My head nurse told me you better hope I don’t have to write you up🤦🏻♀️ I just looked at her and said for doing my job🤷🏻♀️ Around 2 pm I was in another patient room and I heard commotion and my name being called. I walk out of the room and my head nurse says “the patient’s wife wants to talk w/you”. I walked in the room and she looked at me and asked did you shave my husband? I said yes, it needed to be done. She started crying and thanked me. She then told me her husband hated beards but the home health aide would not shave him. Everyday after that each nurse shaved him and we reported the home health aide. Oh, and my peers waited in the hall by the door b/c they wanted to see her yell at me. Joke was on them!
@@michelemiktus2312 thanks for sharing and for going out on a limb for your patient. It meant more than just about anything to me in that moment that someone was willing to listen to me as a person and not as a policy. I'm sure your kindness meant the world to your patient and his wife, as well.
Damnit, Steve. Now you got me crying. My Dad was on dialysis for years and yes, it was keeping him alive, but the quality of life is absolute hell. Your life revolves around dialysis. The days you don't have dialysis, you still feel like shit. I'm grateful for the extra time we had him until he passed 11-18-21. Thank you for being so caring with your patients.
Same .. my Dad was on dialysis for years and passed 11/20/09. So much respect for all the doctors and nurses who never gave up on him. Sending a virtual hug @JeannetteGreen ❤️
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my own father on 12-4-22. He had been home on hospice since august 10th, 5 days after a major surgery of mine, though not on dialysis. I cared for him up until his last breathe. Even when he had no strength to get up, he tried to sit up, insistent that he go outside. My dad had always been a smoker, but when his health declined and I had my first baby a year ago, the smoking inside stopped. I regret not having the strength to get him up and outside. I kept his wheelchair that he sat in for the last time on August 10th, and i talk beside it every morning before work. Not sure why i wrote all this out, except your comment really hit home and I'm scared to go into this New Year without my hero. Wishing the best for you and yours, stay safe, and appreciate the gifts life gives you while you have them.
My dad was on dialysis for 6.5 years. I don’t wish that on anyone. This month is the 13th year since he passed away. He missed out on seeing his grandchildren grow up. But, he is at peace and no longer suffering. That gives me a little comfort.
This was already one of my favorite skits, but it definitely hits different now. My mom almost single handedly takes care of my grandparents. Before my grandad's kidney issues, the two of them were living pretty independently. But with the state of both of their health, they can't be as independent anymore. I live further away, and find myself getting so frustrated with him when I know he's giving my mom a hard time and making things more difficult by not being compliant. But this reminds me just how much he and my grandma have lost. To go from not needing much help with anything to being heavily dependent on your only child cannot be easy. You can't go where you want, no longer allowed to drive, going to dialysis + an endless amount of doctors appointments, etc. And at their age a lot of their peers or family members have already passed on. It has to be such an awful feeling
Dammit, this one made me tear up because not only had I heard these patients/residents just want to give up, but I get it. They're 90 years old, failing and still have their mind. They know what's going on, and they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. 💔
You gotta let them make decisions for as long as they’re capable. We just lost my great grandma almost two weeks ago. It was her time, she was 94 Ave weak and her mind had been falling for years and she had several infections. In her mind, she was in Lawrenceberg, Tennessee (she left there when she got married to her first husband) but she actually lived in Pekin, Illinois, where she’s lived longer than I’ve been alive. She’d looking for her momma and her daddy. It was a strain on my Memaw and her brother to make so many decisions all the time, always wondering if it was the right one every time. If someone is up there in years and can still make informed decisions about their health and their life, let them. It’s less stress on everybody all around.
@@everlasting9292I'm so sorry for you and your family, but it sounds like Great Grandma lived a full life, and she left this world knowing she was loved! Right now, the pain is at the forefront but, given time, the pain will ease somewhat, and you'll be able to remember her with more love than heartache. It'll take some time, but remember, everyone goes on this journey of grief at their own pace. It probably won't be the same pace as you, so everyone will also need to practice patience. I'm telling you this because my sister lost her husband 10 years ago this month. She spent the first 1.5 years in a deep pit of despair. Since neither of us has any family other than each other, I held her up until she could stand on her own again. She has done the same for me in the past. That's what family does.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My beloved got to that place, and it broke me. And even though I'd walked each agonizing step right by his side through his illness, I cried hard, but only because I felt I had no right to ask him to fight on. Yet, being the narcissist that I am, I begged and begged anyway. Even when he'd taken his last breath, I begged him to please come back to me. He suffered so, til I carry the shame of my selfishness to this day. And it feels like yesterday. He'd said, "I'm tired, baby." And I wish that I'd had the courage to respect that, but I did not. I'd loved him since I was 12. I was 58 when he left. And my excuse was, that I did not know HOW to live without him. Yet, here I am still drawing unhappy breaths.
Last time I had a conversation like this, I talked her into staying till she was stable enough to make the trip home, and talked her family into listening to her. She got stabilized and went home to spend her final weeks surrounded by her beloved grandbabies. One of the best days of my life, honestly. I almost never have time to sit and talk with my patients like that.
This hit so close to home when he was talking about dialysis, my mind went back to me having to do chemo. I'm sick of it too and I've wanted to give up so many times. I'm 26 and I have had cancer for about 2 years and still undergoing it. It's nice to be outside or to vent because it makes us feel like a person. A person before all of this. I can't wait to be done with chemo and be cancer free!!!!
@@josephvasquez9932 you deserve all the good things in life I hope for a speedy recovery! It is hard they treat you as a patient and not a person sometimes.
Steveioe I wasn’t ready for the feels this early. Being an ER tech is still one of the hardest things I’ve done. I care so much for my nurses, doctors, and patients. I’ve been the guy they send into patients to make them feel better, or “raise patient satisfaction scores”. I love being that guy because I can make people feel better by being the person that makes an extra few minutes to care and do the little things that make us people. I can’t do that anymore, the staffing shortages make it impossible. I only have time to do the bare minimum to keep the ER from imploding. I miss the before times. I’m falling out of love with the job I have loved so much and I hate it.
I wish you luck, some days are harder than others- I work at a radiology clinic in Canada, and I'm often on unpaid overtime because I took an extra few minutes with someone.... and then some Karen yells at me because she forgot her paperwork. I always try to remember the kind patients, because they make my day. Sending you a high five from Canada, you've got this, and I'm sure you bring more positivity than you know, even when you're stretched thin :)
I am 100% Mr. Goodbar. I was born with Sickle Cell I'm now 41 & sick of being alive. Everyone around me sees surviving my peers by 20+ years as a miracle. I just seems unnecessary prolong suffering. My doctors constantly keep telling me that my next flair will kill me, but God doesn't seem to want me to come home. Every birthday is unbearable because all I can see ahead of me & behind me is suffering. I just needed to vent as my birthday is a few weeks away.
NiLa, I understand.. I'm so sorry you're in pain. And for some reason, God's not ready for you to come home. I prayed for you. I had a horrible upbringing and I've managed to put it behind me and go on to a full life. Sometimes that depression and voices from the past come up and I think I don't want to be alive anymore, but I'm physically very healthy and I know these feelings will pass in a few hours and the sun comes out again. I can't imagine not having that blessing. Not wanting to be alive because it's physically so painful must be the worst. I'm so profoundly sorry. You're an inspiration to me. When we do eventually meet in heaven, I can't wait to hug you. And I hope this birthday is pain free so you can celebrate that one small thing. That is my prayer for you. A pain free birthday that isn't a burden for you. Til we meet... stay strong, my sister.
im sorry about your suffering. A DNR might help give you some assurance in that regard so that the next time you get it serious you wont have to worry about waking in pain
@@mizv4043 Thank you. I've had I've had for years but I couldn't trust my family to honor it until recently. Sadly it took my grandmother becoming ill until she understood my pov & stopped guilting me into accepting treatments I didn't want.
I'm crying after watching this. Reminds me of when I worked in a care home and there was a married couple who had lived there for 7 years called George and Mary. They always ate their meals at a table in their 2nd room (two residents means entitled to two rooms, and the 2nd was set up like a dining/living room) instead of with the other people who lived in the care home. One day Mary didn't wake up as she'd died in her sleep. About 4-6 months later George was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He only had one room now and ate with the other residents in the dining room, but as he got sicker he lost his appetite and soon ate very little. More than once near the end he asked me to help him end his life. That's not legal here and I couldn't have done it, even though I absolutely believed it was in his best interests. Instead I sat with him and told him that he was safe and warm and that Mary was waiting for him. He said that was all he wanted, just to see Mary again. He asked me if I was married or if I was "courting". I told him I was courting someone and he said when you find the right person being apart from them is the hardest thing in the world. The last time I saw him, he again asked me to help him end his life, and again I had to tell him that I could not. He said "I know lass, it's not your fault" as I had tears in my eyes. He said he'd be seeing Mary soon and I brought him a picture of her (even though I knew that wasn't what he meant) and made him as comfortable as I could. He died soon after this, during the night after I'd finished my shift. George and Mary were married over 50 years and are buried together. Sometimes the best decision for a person's health is realising that they are old, or very sick, and that they are going to die. Accepting this is not always easy, but it is kinder.
@@downhomesunset I agree about the euthanasia. When our pets or livestock are suffering from a condition that means they have no quality of life, their bodies cannot function in the most basic ways (eg eating, drinking, being able to go to the toilet) and they are deteriorating with no way back, we do what is right and what is kindest, rather than leaving them to continue to suffer unnecessarily. We should be able to show this kindness to humans too.
@@caroljo420 thank you for taking the time to read about George and his final days. I feel like people should know how powerless you can feel when the one thing someone asks from you on their deathbed, is the one thing that you cannot give them. For someone; who is already dying and will not live another week on this earth. For someone who is in agonising pain and only wants it to stop and to be reunited with his wife of 50 years.
The feelings of the patient are exactly why I insisted on emphasizing to my Dad that he needed to make choices about his care and health before he was to the point he couldn't. He got all the care hr wanted and needed until he passed a year and a half ago. I really miss him, but I will always be proud that I made sure HE made his decisions and no one else.
This is my favorite sketch, it’s so good it shouldn’t even be called a sketch. It’s a full on short film. The acting, the story, everything. It needs to be submitted to a film festival I swear it will get awards.
Agreed. Mr Goodbar reminded me of my father. Long story but my dad had problems for awhile. He kept going into anaphylactic shock. So, he used an EpiPen often. He was in and out of hospital with all kinds of issues. It was odd. Finally, they determined it was an intestinal blockage. They removed so much of it that they did a colostomy which would be reversed as soon as things calmed down. He hated the colostomy and was embarrassed about it. One day, I was at the house and he complained of a pain in his calf. I told him it might be a clot and I was calling 911. He refused sounding much like Mr Goodbar. He and I argued. He still refused but I called anyway. When they arrived he was furious and refused care. Dad was the nicest man and everyone loved and respected him. Finally, the paramedics gave in and so did I. He told them & me that only he was responsible if anything happened. But he was sick of doctors and hospitals and said he was ready to die. It was awful. I didn’t have POA and my Mom was unreachable. I’m not sure why the paramedics didn’t force him to go, but when my dad spoke everyone listened and did what he said. They again advised him that he was taking his life in his hands, but they wouldn’t make him go. That night, while getting ready for bed, he had a massive stroke. It took forever to get him out of the bathroom because he fell against the door. By then, it was too late for treatment even if he was airlifted. We were advised that this would most likely be fatal and he would have another stroke. He lived another 10 days. We never gave up and he was treated and therapy tried. No one ever told him he had the stroke, I don’t think he knew what had happened until an outside therapist mentioned it. He died that night. He passed away peacefully while looking at me smiling. I’ll never get over it and I blame myself for giving in. He was only 74.
We do care!!! ❤ My life as an occupational therapist, is dedicated to helping others feel better!! This short film is priceless!!!! Thank you everyone for sharing your testimonies, let us be reminded that at the end of the day, we all need that personal touch or minute to just sit and enjoy the little things, and it has nothing to do with traditional medicine. It’s that moment of precious connection like this one!!! 🥰❤️🥰🙏🏻🥰
For years I worked hospice and I have to say this is the most precious thing someone can give someone. Time to enjoy one last time..and letting them go ❤
Mr. Goodbar is a selfish old curmudgeon. He comes to the hospital VOLUNTARILY and of his own free will... looking for help. Then he decides that he's going to set the rules down and "do things his way"- therefore making life difficult for those trying to help him. I've seen this play out with my own two eyes- many times. We really ought to stop coddling the selfish in the way that we do.
@@melissachartres3219 I saw your replies to several other comments, they all say the same thing, and it seems like you’re failing to see the point of the video. All he wants is someone to hear him and involve him in his own life. Try seeing it from his side. Really try. Imagine this man is a family member or friend you’re really close to. Or imagine that you’re the patient that’s in this position. Please just try for a few minutes. Also, this reply is going to be a novel and I’m going to apologize for that in advance. I really am sorry it’s long, but please read it all. Or at least skim through it. His wife/best friend/support is gone and probably has been for years. He’s in renal failure so he’s on dialysis indefinitely because he’s too old for a transplant. He spends 3-5 days a week sitting at the dialysis center for the better part of his day with two huge needles (large enough to see the light through them) in his arm or leg or wherever his most recent fistula is, hooked up to a machine. He also has to hope the dialysis techs can hit the right spot the first time so he does have to get stabbed more than twice. And he has to hope they don’t infiltrate the vein/artery, especially because he’s on blood thinners. Then once he’s done, he’s exhausted because dialysis is a lot of work for anyones body. Then he goes home and has nobody there to talk to because his wife is dead. Or he goes to a assisted living center where he has no control over anything. They decide when he eats, what he eats, when he showers, when he wakes up to get his vitals taken, when he goes to the bathroom, when he has to leave his room, so on and so forth. No one says or implies he went to the ER voluntarily, and, based on what he said about hospitals in the video, I’d be willing to bet he was forced to go by someone else. Now he’s in the ER and nobody will stop to listen to him. The O2 is drying out his nose and there are a few things you can do to help, but no one is actually listening so nothing gets fixed. He wants to go outside for a minute, or at least to stand up and walk for a minute. Seeing how busy the ER seems to be in this video, he’s probably been laying in that stretcher for most of the 24 hours in his day. The biggest problem is that no one will listen to him. No one cares about his wishes. If he not longer wants to receive treatment, that’s his choice and they should speak to palliative/hospice care. All he wants is some semblance of control over his own life. Which is something all people need in order to be happy. And yes, he wants attention. So does everyone else in the world. So do you. If you didn’t want any attention, you wouldn’t be sharing your opinion with anyone who will listen. So do I, or I wouldn’t spend time typing this reply. The difference between you and I and the patient? You and I want the attention so we can share our thoughts about other people. The patient just wants attention so he can share his thoughts on his own life. He’s also not a noncompliant patient. I’ve seen a lot of noncompliant patients while working in a hospital and this man is an angel compared to them. He used his call light, he put his oxygen back on as soon as he was told to and kept it on, he didn’t throw things at or yell at the nurse. He didn’t punch, kick, slap, or physically assault the nurse. Yes. He did leave the ER. But he didn’t go far and once someone finally listened to him, he was willing to go back inside. He actually offered to go inside so the nurse could get home sooner, which is far from selfish. However, even if you get rid of all of that, his number one right as a patient is the right to refuse treatment. If he says no, that has to be respected.
@@melissachartres3219What’s selfish is having family and a medical system which insists on keeping suffering people alive when all they want to do is die. I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts the old guy was driven to the hospital by family and forced into doing dialysis against his will.
Steveioe is such a good actor, he actually made me cry! I know nurses have a job to do, but sometimes people need to be given their freedom and peace for just a few moments. I'm glad he just sat down and was quiet for the old man. That's all he truly wanted.
This skit made me cry. I can't remember the last time I felt so moved. Steveoie, you seem to have found your calling. Please continue to create your skits.
Me too. My mother came in and asked what was going on. He captured a beautiful but sad moment that shows the struggles of dealing with death. My grandmother recently died and it was very difficult for us, but I think for her it was a relief.
This was really beautiful. I think it is important as healthcare workers to remember that the people we are seeing and treating are in fact people. The job is not just physically taxing, it is mentally and emotionally taxing. Depending on the part of healthcare you work in, you can spend years caring for the same people, watching these people slowly deteriorate in front of you until someone you have grown to love, or even have just gotten used to being around, suddenly isn't anymore. Side note, your Mr. Goodbar voice was freaking excellent.
Precisely, I am chronically ill so I spend a lot of time in the hospitals and sometimes I feel so sad for old people in there being treated like things in a supermarket :(
Watching them deteriorate when you've known and cared for them for years (even the newer ones who have only lived there for months or even weeks actually) is the absolute worst part of my job. I work in an assisted living/supportive housing home and many of our residents live in the home for years and years and years, you spend more time with them than your own family. You learn all about their lives, you know what they take in their coffee, the foods they love and hate, their mannerisms and quirks and tell tale signs when something is off. It's gut wrenching when someone you care for so much and take care of daily for years dies but it's even worse when you see them in excruciating pain as they're slowly slipping away. It's certainly not the kind of job that's for everyone, you need a strong stomach, a big heart and the ability to shake it off quickly after you just gave someone cpr or 3 doses of narcan or w.e and just pray the paramedics and hospital can help them because you still have 100+ other people to take care of and several more hrs of your shift before you can go home and cry. But the amazing people you get to meet and build relationships with every day make it so worth it
@@Larrysbride I work in a nursing home, most of us treat old people with dignity and respect, despite low pay, long hours, horrific working environments and abusive patients and families. For that we get derided and judged as not being good enough. If you care so much, take your person home. If you want to change the situation, at least be a part of it and know what we go through as the workers.
I have scars on my hand from when a patient had decided she’d had enough. I was stopping her pulling out her IV and she put her nails in me. We came to an agreement: I’d remove all treatment and notify her doctors 🥼 f she’d just let me do it neatly and safely. She passed within about six hours. It was dignified and peaceful.
There was one patient we kept for around 2 months in the L&D because her water broke at 22 weeks. Her room had no windows to the outside so we all took turns letting her sit in an empty room with windows when it was available so she can see cars and people passing by. She was very grateful for it and thanked us profusely when she finally delivered at 33 weeks. Sometimes it just takes a little humanity from all of us to make a big difference in someone else's life.
There maybe lots of reason for that. Maybe her room was a single room or near the nurse office? Or her room have special equipments? To monitor the heart rate of child etc. there must be a logical explanation for nurses actions.
This was beautiful, Steve. We need to remember that those who are dying need to live too. They have a right to decide what they want to do . Big respect for the reminder. 💖
@@melissachartres3219 That's a narcissistic thing to say. He deserves to go out with as little suffering and humiliation as he can, in his own time, and you should respect the ending of a human life. Is that how you want to be treated when it's your turn? Someone telling you to get out like you're just rubbish to be taken out with the trash?
@@edennis8578 How is it narcissistic? Please be specific in your reply. Goodbar is the real narcissist here... missing dialysis appointments, being non-compliant, wanting special attention. People grow backwards at some point... meaning that the elderly often turn back into babies. They aren't self-sacrificing at all- as books and movies would have us believe. That's just the movies. They want all the attention. Have you not dealt with the elderly before? I mean large swaths of them... not just YOUR grandma. Again- please use specific examples (if you can remember some) in your reply.
@@edennis8578 This Melissa person is really out here paraphrasing Ebenezer Scrooge BEFORE he gets redeemed ("so let them die and decrease the surplus population!") and thinking she's making a point 🤦🏻♀️
Steve, you captured the exact tone and spirit that our much older folks and caregivers experience while in the hospital/long-term/hospice. Good on you.
Not only old people so many people are in this same situation from infants to the elderly. I got I'll at age 9 and spent many, many months that at one point came to be a total of over half my life hospitalized and then at homebound, can relate to both sides of this as I also was at one time the nurse who then got to experience the patient side. Stevie, this was one of your best videos, but always enjoy them because they are so very true.
This made me cry so hard. Thank you for this video. So many things in this apply to my Dads current situation. It has helped me understand why my 82 year old father is feeling this way at the moment.
This resonates with me so much. Working in health care I often met older people who felt they were being kept alive simply to prove medical technology and interventions could stop them dying from illnesses that would have ended their lives years before. They were ready to go, their spouses,friends and even children were no longer alive, they felt they had no real purpose and were just existing. It was heartbreaking because my job was to make sure they took the meds, had the treatments and recieved the care that was keeping their bodies going. What I couldn't do was give them back the decision making powers they had lost or a reason to think everyday they were still alive was a blessing and not a millstone round their neck. Well done steveio, I think this should be shown in every ethics class anyone working in medical or social care takes.
@@nadMoZzzg I wouldn't say that. In the Western society, especially in medicine, sees death as evil, an enemy that needs to be fought. The patient becomes a battlefield of denying death a victory. Until we go back to accepting that death is not an enemy but an inevitability this way of thinking will continue.
@@joannewoodward3480 Ok, but >We are destroying someone's humanity and autonomy and make them suffer. >to prove something to ourselves and to society, mostly about how good and moral we are. >And because "those are the rules" and nobody want problems. More like simple ignorance and neglect with "for you own good" hypocrisy. Taking away a person's right to die is the most humiliating thing you can do to someone
@@joannewoodward3480 I think that's also the wrong approach. Death should be a personal choice. Rather than giving up and saying welp I guess it happens, or forcing life on someone who is done with living, one should have power to choose their own life or death.
Wtf why am I crying. The fact the first time he offered to go back inside was when he thought about the younger man situation was powerful. It’s not easy to care for yourself. There is so much power in caring for others. It motivates like no other.
As an ER nurse myself, I always have to ask what is it that the patient wants from us, why did they come to the ER and what are their expectations (so long as the patient is coherent, oriented). If family is present, they can listen but not interrupt until the patient is done talking. Sometimes I have to have family wait outside while I talk to the patient then I can bring the family back to the bedside. It gets so very complicated. Having a social worker in the ER is a huge help.
Wow I have genuine tears in my eyes. As someone who has an incurable disabling illness and frequently wants to just give up and let nature take its course, there’s nothing more special than medical/psych workers who get you. And promise you’ll never have to have any treatment you don’t want. Just to have that feeling of control and bodily autonomy is so important in healthcare. This was the best video you’ve ever made ❤️
I agree w u Alyssa. I have chronic pain conditions (that’s what I tend to call it now)… I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ w MANY “incurable illnesses” but I’ve been a medical mystery for literally 10 years now. The drs won’t listen to me. I have a rare story but it’s crazy real yet unbelievable. Perhaps you may have some of the things I have!! Right now I’m crying in pain. I have ice on my neck & several hot water bottles in several places… shit began back when I was only 14/15 years old 🥺😔 from 2017-present though has been the most complicated health wise and the agonizing pain that no dr outta over 50+ drs (I apparently have seen. My current dr told me that during a recent fight we had. He’s actually an old man my dr; he listens 50% of the time. I’m grateful for him n DONT take anything personally he says honestly. I’m 24 now I’ve learned how to speak up for myself when necessary and I’ve NEVER disrespected him or raised my voice til 2 years of being under his care) so I guess I got passionate once he started directing his bullshit to my father cause he can throw all the daggers he wants at me. But bringing Papa G into the equation WILL get a reaction out of me. Maybe that’s what he wanted who knows, he’s also weirdly clever like that lol anyways my point is throughout the years of fighting these chronic pain conditions…. I lost respect completely for the healthcare/medical field. I’m the girl who cried pain, fr. I’ll be sharing my story soon, it’s a rare one. I hope to inspire people on becoming their greatest version. Especially inspiring those going through similar situations as me. Possibly-like you. 🤍☺️ Take care.. xo 💋
I’ve had a variety of diagnosis, supposedly I’m not sick enough, but whatever the hell I have has been progressing. I have a lot of difficulty sleeping partly due to adhd and partly due to chronic pain. I have more doctors than anyone I actually know. I see two different neurologists now, and trying hedge my bet on the next specialist I’ll be referred to. It’s just tiring, taking care of myself is a full time job that I don’t get paid for and I struggle with bills. They want us to live so bad only to forget we are in pain or suffering and have to pretend to be ok so we can have company. We give so much up, and we are expected to give even more up, but healthy folks don’t think it’s a big deal until they deal with it. I saw it when I was healthier taking care of my late MIL. I’m honestly thinking about getting an DNR order
I know satire & comedy is what your platform is based on... but your range is genuinely remarkable. Huge fan of your work, your truth, & your creativity. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
I love this about him. I've spent too much time in hospitals as mom to a medically complex little girl and hospital life runs this gamut. I love not knowing if we're getting funny or feel good, like we're along for the ride with the ER nurses.
This is the best ad I’ve ever seen for advance directives. I work in healthcare and part of my job is determining whether patients have capacity to make their own medical decisions. Too many doctors think people must not have the cognitive ability to make decisions if they make choices “against medical advice.” I don’t care what age you are - think about what kind of life sustaining treatments you would or definitely WOULD NOT want and when you wouldn’t want any treatment any more. Document those wishes formally (with your healthcare system or state form & get it notarized!). Decide who you trust most to advocate for YOUR choices if you become unable to advocate for yourself and list that person on the same notarized document. Thank you for making this video and for letting Mr. Goodbar show you that there’s more to life than continuing to exist at all costs. ❤
This brought me to tears. Took care of both my parents at the end. They didn't want to be on breathing tubes or feeding tubes. My mom made me promise. So I understand. It goes against everything in us sometimes. But sometimes we need to respect people's decisions not to keep going. Especially when the quality of life isn't there.
I was only an activity aid on a nursing home, but I saw lots of patients like this. The ones who still wanted independence and the ones who were ready to go. Not gonna lie, this made me cry.
This sort of thing happened with my grandpa. His depression had gotten worse cause he couldn't go anywhere. He was doing physical therapy cause he just had a hip replaced. His nurse (who almost got fired cause of this) changed his physical therapy for a day. Instead of walking up and down the hall multiple times, she walked with my grandpa to the lil park thing in the center of the hospital for patients to get fresh air. When he realized where they were going, he started walking a lil faster, and she had to slow him down to make sure he walked properly. He sat on a bench with the nurse for I don't even know how long til his doc found them and actually sat with em for a lil bit to give my grandpa medicine (doc that day was a family friend) Watching this made me think of him. Thank you, for the happy memory.
I use to drive a wheelchair van and we took mobility impaired patients to appointments. One of my regulars was just like this sketch. He just wanted to die but the medical teams did everything they could to keep him alive. It broke my heart how miserable he was.
@@JesusluvmeAbsolutely repulsive how some people will keep sick family members hanging on out of selfishness. If they genuinely loved them, they’d respect their wishes and let them go.
That was so beautiful. I am a doctor and a nephrologist and I really love you content. It is pretty much my life! I am happy that you gave attention to this big problem: we health workers want so much for our patients that it is sometimes hard for us to let them have their own wishes about their lives. Great work here!
I'm facing this same issue with a loved one. Tears on my eyes, this is the best video so far. It's a real issue and though not comedic it's very noteworthy. Thank you.
My grandpa was like this at the end. Refused to let anyone help him bathe or go to the bathroom. Didn't want to admit himself in the first place which led to the cancer being too far to do anything about it. Its heartbreaking watching them try to hold on to their pride. They're not being difficult they're just feeling out of control of their lives.
I just lost my dad after 8 weeks in the Hospital. Everything about this skit hit me hard. We were all so focused on his meds & treatments...we lost him anyway. I wish I would have wheeled him outside, just once. 😔
I get the feeling he actually went through a patient interaction like this - like this is a true story. So he put it out there to show us what it was like. 👍 Thanks
I watch Steveioe every day. This is the first time one of his skits has brought me to tears. Steveioe, if this is how you treat your patients, I wish you’d been my dads nurse. Thank you for having the patience and humanity that you have.
I love how well you do every character. I literally forget it's all you because it's so well done. I also love how you showcase not just silly things or big things but the little things too
Dang, this hit me right in the feels. My grandma died by her own hand because she was just tired of life. She probably had a good 5-10 years left if she really wanted them. My great grandma was the same as this old man, being kept alive by machines. She stopped eating and drinking, refused to be hooked up anymore, and somehow made it 2 more weeks. This reminds me of both of them. Old and tired. Sometimes it’s just time to go, even when it doesn’t make sense to those around you. May God bless the beautiful old souls who have passed on or are close to.
It was refreshing hearing a nurse (heck, any medical professional tbh) say, "I'm sorry". I've had some awesome nurses and doctors in my life, but I've also had some pretty shabby treatment that was not reasonable, and many times when a nurse or a doctor didn't listen to me. And when I was proved right, I never got an "I'm sorry" or a "sorry we f'd up". I get it's a stressful job, but this, this was nice to hear and made me tear up.
This made me cry. I've taken care of three grandparents at home until their passing. My last surviving gma died seven months ago. I will never forget when I was doing her physical therapy for her stroke rehabilitation and she took my hand and looked me in the eye and said....honey I'm so tired, please can I just rest. I knew she meant something more than just that day. I accepted and only two weeks later she slipped out of this life while my mom, me and my uncles held her. Being a caregiver is hard. Dealing with end of life is excruciating.....but it's not about you, it's about them. Give dignity where you can. Give love and comfort unconditionally.
This made me burst into tears. I understand it all. Have cared for both parents and my husband who died from Parkinson’s. Thank you for this post. God bless all patients and healthcare providers. There does come a point when it’s all too much and comfort care is needed. It’s just so hard to know when-thanks to all who work so hard to get us well when that’s possible. Thanks to all Drs, nurses and hospice workers there to help us when healing in this life in no longer a possibility. We need all of you.
Man… thank you. This was my grandfather during a few hospital visits. Thank you for seeing and showing his humanity. I don’t really have words. Just… thank you.
it is hardgoing these daysbut someone who gives a minute or 41 minutes can show care and a reason to hope and persevere regardless the circumstances. Really impressed Steveioe!
This hit home. I'm a CNA at a nursing home, and I see this often enough that it makes me try harder to be patient and kind with our residents. You really nailed it.
This hit home! I’ve been chronically ill for 25 years. I was on dialysis for 15 years until I received my second kidney transplant 4 years ago.. I’m so grateful for the nurses that listen to me, give me more graham crackers , hold my hand while the other nurse searches for a vein , listen to my fears and so much more…. I can never thank y’all enough… ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I’m 46. I’m on dialysis 5 days a week. Yes, it’s so hard. So so hard…but I’ve got a 20yr old and an 8 year old and an amazing husband who has learned to be my nurse and tech. I fight for them, but this video reminds me of the times when it gets too hard and I want to quit. Until you’re in those shoes, you don’t understand what it’s like to just want to go to the other side…to stop the pain, the sickness, the poking and prodding. My husband and I so enjoy watching your shorts while we take out my dialysis “canons” every night. It gives us something to laugh at and take our minds off of things while holding pressure. 😄. Thank you!
I so appreciate your ability to find humor even in a so sad situation. I was tearing up watching this. But then I realized that you spent this video basically ‘Looking For Mr. Goodbar’. Then I laughed my ass off! Not many comedians can do that! You’re the real deal!!
I was too. And yet very sad. I'm in heart failure and more. I may have 5-15 left, I may not. The most important thing I've done is to write our my wishes (no heroics) only make sure I'm not in pain. I've been through to much already.
@@donnaleeah5075 I wish you the absolute best in the time you have left. No one knows when we are destined to depart this life so I hope you enjoy every day you have - pain free!
I have never commented on your videos. I love them and watch everyone. This one broke me, I have sat here and cried for a good thirty minutes. I am my Moms caregiver, she suffers from dementia. I have heard almost that exact speech from her. She has told me she has no control of her own life anymore; each time she has to be admitted she tells me she doesn't want to be held hostage in that hell. She is constantly taking off her oxygen because it dries out her nose and hurts. It is crushing to care when as you titled this short the "patient" or in my case my parent, no longer does. There is nothing else to do but sit with them. Thank you, thank you for showing the side of the person just ready to go because they are tired; they are tired of feeling like they are no longer in control of their own life. Thank you for also showing the side of the person taking care of them and how no matter if you are a caregiver or a nurse it still hurts.
This resonates. I work in an SNF, half rehab half long term but our units are mixed. As a ward clerk I'm the one who's got the time to talk and to listen- at least more time than our overextended CNAs, LPNs, and RNs do. We've got about 23 Mr Goodbars at any time, id be the one to set up his dialysis transport, and any other followups with various specialists. I always talk with them and their families and do my best to advocate for their wants and needs, I remind them that they are still the CEO of their care. I'll fight the money machine to get their treatments, ill get a social worker to talk about advanced directives, but at the end of the day I get to go home while they do not. Being stuck in a hospital is usually horrific, being stuck in an SNF isn't too much better. I give a lot of hugs, tell alot of jokes and stories, give lots of motivational speeches to staff, sometimes I even rage against the machine for Mr Goodbar. I love what I do, you may say I'm the glue that holds many things together. Having my education in Psych and having worked as a DSP under NY's OPWDD for adults with disabilities was the best training for compassionate care and "person first" ethics. I hope you have a good ward clerk. Mr Goodbar is exactly the kind of fella who would most likely spend his days in front of the nurses station with me.
As a daughter of two parents in their 80s who have died in the last 6 years, this hits home so much. My dad died in the hospital on dialysis hating every minute of his life. My mom refused to go to the hospital and died at home in her easy chair. It was hard to watch them both age and get sick. Selfishly, I wanted them to stay, even though they didn’t want to anymore. Dying with dignity should be an option.
My grandparents are in their 80s now and their health has really gone downhill in the last year. On new years weekend my grandma had multiple strokes and had to have surgery to remove the clot from her carotid artery. We all thought she was going to die, including her, and she was ready and accepting of it. She pulled through but now her short term memory is basically shot. My mom is with them at their home in Florida for the next couple of months until my uncle can move down permanently. I've always been close to her (oldest grandchild) and talking to her a couple of days ago it broke my heart that she was referring to herself as a burden. I am saving up my pto so that I can go for a couple weeks if there's a gap in their help or just to go see them. What's weighing really heavily on my heart is that I really don't think she ever wanted to live like this.
@@rebeccaconlon9743 Nobody gets out of here alive. By the time someone is in their 80s and diagnosed with a terminal disease, the only thing they have to look forward to is pain and suffering. Why should someone put themselves through a horrific 6 months or a year of agony? To please little old you? When my time comes, I'm ready. I have no intention of dragging out what little time is left after a terminal diagnosis in constant agony and torture. What an awful thing to wish on anyone.
This reminded me of my mom at the end of her life. She had given up and refused dialysis for long enough that there was no going back. I saw how the nurses and doctors tried so hard to get her to accept that after trying everything to help her but she still refused to follow their recommendations of dialysis and a strict meal plan. I was so angry that she couldn’t accept this time was different and the doctors and nurses even told me to not stress over trying to get her to accept it, to let them be “the bad guy” so our last little time together wasn’t full of anger. They did everything they could to help her but at one point, everyone but her knew she wasn’t going to leave alive yet she insisted it would be like every other time. They still fought for her and gave her a line to her heart to try to control blood pressure which was dropping too low and did everything else they could. Nurses and doctors do an amazing job everyday and often we don’t see it, especially while in these situations. I had traveled from Virginia to Nebraska only to be rushed into a meeting with the palliative care team telling me she was bad and they called me to come down because they knew it was near the end. She lived only another 3 weeks with her final days violently ill from the toxins. The final day she was better and had been in hospice for 3 days. To this day I am grateful to the entire team she had throughout the years but especially at the end.
This is one of the best skits ever, thank you for 'Mr.Good bar", who during dialysis found out he had prostate cancer. All he wanted was to go out in peace not lead around or forced to die uncomfortablly
Thanks for this. I couldn't be with my dad when he passed which i feel so guilty of. We were getting ready to visit him when we got the call that he had passed away. I had seen my mom cry from pain....but this cry was so different, and I will never forget it. I couldn't be there for him but I could for her. I promised my mom when it was her time I would be there. When the hospital called and said she only had a few days left, my brother and I brought her home. I got to tell her how much I loved her and how much I was gonna miss her. But she could go and we would be ok. That I would see her again soon. Then she quietly passed away looking at me. She had some of the most wonderful nurses and Drs. Im so grateful to all of them. ❤
Yes I am in fact crying. I have had this patient, and I have been this patient (not quite this far but similar). Well done good sir. We need to strive to remember these are our fathers, mothers, grandparents and even our children we are caring for.
As someone who was told I had weeks to live 23 years ago and made all of my arrangements I know how true this is. At what you think is the end you are in so much pain you don't want to go on. I also completely understand how rare a nurse like Steve is or the luxury of have the time to be that kind of nurse is. The system just isn't built to allow it in most cases. This was so real in ever aspect.
Sweet video, ur such a caring and intelligent guy, with a great sense of humour. I have had crohns disease since childhood, with an illeostomy now, I've spent alot of time in hospital. Nurses like you make the time easier. Much love to all nurses
Oh dear, I’m so sorry for you. My youngest son just got diagnosed last month. We actually just got discharged today of the hospital, after spending 6 weeks in. He sadly was very, very sick, and it took him a lot more time to recover, but yet, here we are. He was a freakin trooper. I was over in love with this kid before these last couple months, but I can’t even explain how I feel about this little man, about all the strength, the super well adjusted mindset and thought process, in completely confidence, so resilient, voluntarily accepting to undergo a procedure that will hurt, that will be difficult, because he knows and understands that this is still the best option, that this discomfort and uneasy procedure will do him a lot of good at the end (for ex: he had a central line put in, a piccline, he needed blood transfusions, TPN, Iron, etc.. too much stuff… he definitely recommends it now! I went in with him to support him - being an ex-ICU nurse, I was comfortable to support him and assist to many of the procedures- which points out to patient information, education, and good bounding interactions with patients..). I’ve learned so much about him, about what’s fascinating about him, about all the potential my kiddo has, his infinite curiosity, the speed he devoured information, the speed and edge of his thought, he’s freaking amazing, and that’s I was not and stil am not crying 12h/24h because of the medical condition. Sure, it’s a bump on the road that we didn’t need (he has autism, moderate ADHD, a rare genetic disorder, called Ehler Danlos syndrome, and now that, plus a cardiac arrhythmia.. the list of appointments is insane, although he’s not followed for anything autism related) , and many many years are to come, but fortunately for him, and he knows he’s fortunate, treatment plans have incredibly improved in the last decade or so, so we hope for the best, but you know what, deep down, I’m not scared for him, on the long term, cause clearly, he’s got this. Just like you do. Thank you for reading, if you actually did, if not, that’s also fine. It was an intense and quite emotional day, and I’m so tired.
This was beautiful. I have a 94 year old grandmother that we all know might not make it till Christmas and it tires me that nobody has the time nor patience to take care of her (recently bedridden). My father told my mother and her siblings years ago to arrange for funeral insurance but they never did. Rn we can't ask her whether she wants to be buried or cremated here in the U.S. or in Mexico next to her husband. I really hope they send her to Mexico but most of my family can't go visit. I'm kinda scared for when the time comes but I know I want to hold her hand at least and tell her I love her. Thank you to all care workers ❤
This one went straight to my heart, reminded me of my Dad and helped me understand more how he must have felt. He went on hospice and left us soon after that. It was what he wanted and we respected that.
I can't tell you how many times it's ripped my heart out to basically see patients being what I call 'treated to death'. They want to go or they have such a low quality of life. It sucks but man when you show them that you still see them as people and just listen, it can be incredible
I'm not sure what role you have in the medical system, but I've seen many staff with enduring trauma from this repeat cycle. Five years ago, my husband and I stood hand in hand as we asked hospital staff to allow us to stop using our daughter's ventilator. She was 6 1/2 and had been a trach/vent patient for 5 years. During most of that, her life was full of joy and promise and I don't regret the fight to keep her here. At the end, routine tube feeding was collapsing her lungs and IV nutrition wasn't an option. For us, once quality of life was gone and could not be restored, the choice was obvious. We held her and loved her from this life to the next. We waited long enough to get family photos as a family of 5 with our new baby (my wish) and for her sisters, 8 years and 8 months, to open her Christmas presents to them while she was here. She passed December 10th, 2016. The sheer number of medical professionals who have thanked me from that astounds me. Across all roles, they see patients being "cared to death", often against their own wishes because family is not ready to give peace from a failing body.
@@tinkeramma I'm a nurse assistant and I do understand not wanting them to die but personally I think suffering via medical treatments can be much worse. Also wow I cannot imagine how hard that was. Suffering or not, that's your baby. My daughter is 9 and it kills me when I hear of people losing their own children. I have been brought to my knees watching what's happening in Ukraine because I cannot fathom what they're going through and I will never understand how anyone can hurt babies and children
@@alltoohalliwell I have always felt blessed that my sweet girl did not have anyone harm her through negligence or evil. She was born with conditions that should have been impossible to survive, and yet we had so many beautiful years. The moments are never enough for the people we love with our whole soul, but there is peace in knowing it was just random. My heart is absolutely wrecked for parents in the Ukraine and even civilian parents in Russia right now who are trying to protect their precious babies from the pain of the world. That pain comes from choices made by a select few and ripples across the world. I wish all the best for you and your little girl. Nine is such an incredible age.
Idk why this happens cuz I thought if a pt doesn't want to be treated you involve the ethics team so they can discuss end of life care with them and all of that :/
I did private Hospice care for years. Sometimes you have to let them decide on their own how they wanted to go. It was never OK. It was just letting them have their dignity. You could only make them as comfortable as you could. Let them talk and sometimes just hold their hands so they knew they weren't alone. This video took me back to those days. Tonight I am going to sit down and just cry. Because doing private duty hospice you got really close. Losing them felt like losing family.
It's not just about the going, sometimes it's about the staying. I miss my life. A drive on a Sunday, going out for a walk, cooking more then a frozen meal.
I just commented that I'd like to hear a hospice nurse respond to this. To me, you guys seem to have far more wisdom on natural law, when it comes to death, than most in the modern world.
@@deeterry8549 oh I feel you. I was lucky enough to take Sundays off. You want to know what I did? Every other Sunday it was just me and my kid doing our thing. The other Sundays me and my kid prepped and cooked every meal for 2 weeks. Breakfast, lunch an dinner and I made microwave mixes for coffee mug cakes as a treat instead of snack cakes. Tight food budget. I hated fast food and it was exhausting but it meant my days and nights were easier. I preferred grave yards. Let me spend more time with my daughter and later foster kids. It also made rough days easier too. I could come home heat up our meal set our table and eat act like it was fine no worries. Get her to bed or school crawl in shower and just cry. Usually before I went to bed myself. Sometimes that routine kept me steady. I could count on it when everything else mentally and emotionally was chaos. The longer I cared for a PT the harder it was when they passed. Logically I know it's better for them it was just the holes they left behind that had to be filled with something else to do or someone else to care fore. I started hospice work assisting my grandmother as a teen. I did full time almost 28 years. My Dad dying is what burned me out. After that I only took on friends or family people I knew wanted me, needed me and working side jobs or office work for my company. I couldn't handle pts or clients. I don't know if you get what I mean. By then I was having serious health issues. Wound up selling my share of business to my partner. I had to leave. Sometimes I feel guilty about quitting the field. At same time I know if I didn't I would have eventually shut down completely like just laid down and quit living myself. I went through a lot of counseling during my work years to help deal but it was after leaving felt like I had done something wrong not being there caring for someone. Then I started taking kids in helping them get placed after being kicked out or runaways helping get them in better place besides the streets. The kids I think is what saved my sanity. I wasn't dealing with sickness or death I dealt with life and getting kids safe. Before anybody calls me a saint or a hero I am not. I did it for 2 reasons. 1 It was right thing to do. My God they were just children no real living yet and 2 It let me feel like I was still worth something able to help someone. Sorry rambling but do you get it?
@@sallybalkin8507 we may get it. But it doesn't make it any better. You have to shut down inside. Build a vault place it there lock the door. Then have to wait to open it an unload it all. Sometimes it was easy other times it stayed buried in there and crept out when you don't expect it. It's been over 10 years since I left the field heck closer to 20 actually. Stuff still comes back.
You have me in tears. This reminded me of my grandfather he was also on dialysis two years and one amputation later of the dreaded Tues trip to dialysis, he said no more. He wanted to die. He was tired of everyone controlling his life. He said he didn't even decide when he could pee. My grandma naturally didn't want him gone, but they talked about it and he never returned to the clinic. One week later asleep in bed in his home, he passed away. Dialysis is so hard on the body. People please take care and Merry Christmas.
I’m glad you made this video. You have a big heart young man. Did not realize how stressful your job can be. Glad to see you took the time to help Mr. Goodbar and in turn it helped you also. There are some who don’t need to be in the medical field. Keep up the good work, thank you!!😊
I just know this is based on a real experience you had, Steveioe. I feel so bad for the nurses like you and the pateints like Mr. Goodbar. I feel bad that your overworked, and that patients get tired of fighting. I wish our system would do the things it could to make it better for everyone. On a side note; your acting skills have imrpoved a lot over the few years, and you really do make us laugh in hard times with your funny videos. You also don't forget to remind us of the reality of working in the ER and the ups and downs. I feel so bad for nurses and doctors and everyone who works in the hospital because of the truama you all endure. I hope soon we can make things better for everyone.
Some of these stories remind me of a story I’ve been told about a relative who died of cancer as a child long before I was born. The family managed to sneak puppies that had been born at home up through the fire escape of the hospital so he could see them in his hospital room. Hopefully it didn’t negatively affect any other patients, but I’m sure it brought him some much-needed smiles.
This hit close to home, man. My mom who was dying of pancreatic cancer felt this exact same way. It was rough so thank you, Stevieo. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
When I heard my mom say something similar it really shook me. Seeing someone who had always been strong say to you they wanted to go, they had no more fight left in them. That rocks you to your core
Sometimes it's not about fight though, it's about acceptance. Death is a natural part of life, and I see it as she knew and was okay with it. When we fear death, we forget to appreciate life
The night before my second husband passed, he wanted to go outside. I got him up and into the wheelchair and took him out without telling anyone. We sat out there for two hours, talking about my future without him. We knew it would be soon, he'd been fighting cancer for 7 months and he was tired of everything. Chemo, doctors, tubes and monitors. Everything. Hearing Stevie as the old man made me remember that night. Its been 25 years and I'm sobbing like I just lost him.
Respect.
I lost my mum to cancer 15 years ago. She was always so strong, so confident. I didn't realize she was fed up with the therapy until she was gone. I just assumed she would be fighting on like she had always been.
My heart is with yours.
Sending love to you. My dad passed 16 years ago in March. He was done about a month before he finally passed. I don't blame him. He spent almost 2 years fighting cancer the doctors initially said he had less than six months to live from. Between the chemo and the radiation and the colostomy he ended up needing, he had done his fighting. He even got off hospice the August before he passed. I miss him all the time.
u just copied and pasted a comment- why? Probably for god damn attention
This made me cry because I've been here. I'm a terminal patient and after being hospitalized for almost two weeks my husband snuck me outside so we could sit on a bench at the front of the hospital. I just wanted some fresh air for a few minutes and to not have to listen to machine beeping or alarms going off down the hall. It was the first snow of the year and he wanted to surprise me with it since he knows how much I love the snow. When my nurse found me she scolded me for a solid while and I just cried silently watching the snow fall. I kept my husband from yelling at her and I asked her to sit with us for a few minutes and watch the snow. She sat with us for almost 20 minutes before she got us and wheeled me back inside, but whenever I said I wanted some air after that she would let us slip out for a few minutes.
Aww
May you see many more snows🙏
Hey, I hope you're still around to read this:
May the rest of your days be filled with peace and love. Your family loves you to pieces, your friends love every last bit of you. I hope you can still see many more snows, be it down here or up there as a angel. Thank you for existing
Hope you're still around to see this as well because you seem like a truly kind, sweet and lovely person. Even if you're time is short we have truly been blessed by your presence and the mark you have made.
This is exactly what I was feeling. My son has a life threatening illness since he was born. I never leave his side. There are so many times when all you want to do is feel the sunshine or smell fresh air. Living with an illness, especially one where you are forced to be inpatient just to survive, is really overwhelming.
Steveioe is such a good actor. The way he acts out these tales from the ER are both heartbreaking and tender.
He's probably been through this exact same scenario sadly. At some point you gotta let them go and everyone else just can't.
he accurately portrays all the characters. i love the half asleep admitting resident with the crazy hair. haha. thats how they usually come down...
I guarantee this is inspired by real events.
@@ZiggySmallsss I’ve had the same kind of interactions with some of my patients when I worked in the ER.
@@LadyRad2000 i can imagine, ive done work as a death doula and it hit me in the feels.
I could feel that patients anger, frustration and the sadness from both. You REALLY hit the mark on this one.
Why is his acting better than most actors in movies? This one really hits the feels.
Because he isn't acting. He is reliving those moments.
Truly
Because he's been there and knows this situation from the center of his soul. It's truth.
Played from experience no doubt
Because as nurses we’ve all gone through this situation! It’s our job to keep people alive yet if I had a patient like this I would be advocating for hospice STAT! People deserve to be able to choose how they want to live and how they want to die.
Now that made me cry. So many patients actually do feel that way even though we know that hospital staff are only doing their job. The older you get, the more it seems like you lose control of life and the things that you want.
Nope. The US medical industrial complex keeps them on dialysis to mske profit and kill them. Words from my own doctor.
Jesus, this one is tough to watch. Can’t imagine what it was like to live it.
Made me cry too. I'm at a place in life where my feelings are similar to Mr Goodbar's. Never expected this, but who does? Anyway, I just talked to the hospice coordinator today, and I can start their program whenever I'm ready; my diagnosis pre-qualified me. Woohoo. Hey, at least I won't be forced into any extreme measures against my will.
Thank you, Stevejoe. It's a very sensitive topic, and you handled it beautifully.
@@marinam.2293 for what it's worth I'm sorry to hear you're at that point. I wish you the best through your journey's conclusion. 🤗
@@Lucky9_9 Thank you, that's sweet and greatly appreciated. All the best to you! 😊
Dude, I can tell from this skit that you have had this conversation for real. I hope when I get old and cranky there's someone like you there for me. Thanks for doing it.
I believe there is always someone like him 😊
Thank you for doing this indeed!!!!! You are a great, and funny, human!
Best of being human.
I hope to have a medical professional be as kind and compassionate as this when my time arrives ❤
That's what we all need. I know I wasn't always able to deliver that breath of fresh air to my family members. But I tried to sneak in extra chocolate. Die happy.
This is beautifully made. As a nurse we try to "fix" people or make them feel better, but sometimes the best thing we can do is let a person die with a little bit of dignity. Listen to our patients and make them as comfortable as possible. I think hospice is a very under utilized service and many people think it's taboo. I think it's the must beautiful time as a nurse. We help families come to grips with a terminal illness. We make patients as comfortable as we can. We try to do as much for them as we possibly can. We try to ease as much suffering as we can. When a patient dies we sometimes cry with the family because the patient became part of our family. That's ok. That's what makes us human.
I love being a hospice nurse. It's an incredible honor to care for people at the end of their life. Every one is a bittersweet gift. Every smile is a blessing. People should be able to die at home, comfortable and surrounded by those who love them. Someone has to teach them how. Thank you for all the good you do!
Good hospice nurses are literal angels in human form. To constantly face death, to ease someone's suffering in their final moments, to comfort the family and take some of the burden off of them.
Thank you for what you do
I’m not religious at all but I truly feel hospice nurses are angels. 3 of my grandparents utilized hospice when their end was near and they had the most peaceful passings.
I loved being a hospice nurse. But it sparked something inside.
Why don't we do this earlier in life? Attend to the person as if it is their last day.
Tomorrow is never promised.
I loved working with hospice. Patients have dignity and can pass at home with family and friends ❤️
This was my first non-"shorts" steveioe video. I clicked on it expecting to laugh and be called a mufckr, and instead I got hit right in the feels. It was beautiful.
I kept waiting for the funny... :(
@@afsdgdfgergerg I mean, there was the whole "looking for Mr. Goodbar" (if you don't get it, google the phrase) bit in the middle. But yeah.
❤❤❤ ❤ 😢
❤😢❤😢❤
I remember the day my grandfather passed away. We all knew it was coming as he had been hospitalized for weeks. He started that day very lucid. He made it clear that he didn't want to be resuscitated much to the arguments of my aunts, uncles and cousins. He just said that he wanted us to let him go when the time came, he wanted to see my grandmother to say goodbye (she was in a nursing home a few blocks away with dementia and other issues) and finally he asked me to just sit with him and hold his hand until he was gone. My mother and I were the only ones who gave him those wishes. Everyone else just fought and argued. I stayed next to him for the next 8 hours, holding his hand. My mother got my grandmother and they had the most beautiful moment. He called her his little hellcat and told her he loved her and to stay feisty. My mom took her back and then came and sat vigil with me. He began to stop being lucid about 2 hours before he passed. My uncles tried telling me to leave the room and I refused. My grandfather just kept his grip on my hand the whole time. When his heart stop my uncles and aunts went into a tizzy screaming for the doctors and nurse to come resuscitate him and I finally told them all to stop being "Selfish pricks" and to sit down and let this man that we love go in peace the way he wanted. I knew he was gone when he let go of my hand. My mom and I just got up and gently kissed his forehead and began cleaning him and wrapping him in clean blankets. The rest of my family just stood there arguing, fighting and making it all about them. None of them have talked to me since, and you know what? I'm perfectly okay with that. I'm just glad I was there to be his hand to hold until the end.
You rule.
That was incredibly courageous of you. Someday they will understand, but it might not be until their hour is close..
Not only did you honor his wish to die as he wanted to, but you also received and gave him love. Dying people ask the ones around them who they want to be with them at the end. He chose you, your mother and his wife. Well done. You have beautiful memories of his death. Loving people is also about honoring their wishes at the end days. The other people in this story missed an incredible opportunity to be present while sending this man to heaven with love! ❤
Your actions were 💯% correct. The person passing gets to determine what they do/don't want. However sometimes we have stubborn, knuckleheaded relatives that can't honor the last wishes. I'm sorry you had to be a battle warrior at such a traumatic time. 😭🙏💐
Sometimes, love means letting go. You get that. I'm sure he was glad to have you there.
As someone who is caretaker (partially, Boyfriend is the fulltime) to my boyfriend's 76 year old, wheelchair bound, Vietnam vet of a father who goes through spells like this... It hit hard. You do excellent work.
Well often this is their entire mindset, they just keep going for their family even thou their whole life is pain.
It is one of the big issues in modern medicin. When to end curative therapy
I love how you classify him and put him in the category of vietnam vet when he himself would never do so
Please tell your boyfriend’s dad that I said thank you for his service to our country. Tell him I am very proud of all the people that went to that war as it was a God awful situation. God Bless!! 🙏🏼❤️🌻😊🙏🏼❤️🌻🙏🏼❤️🌻
@@MissBunny850 or just preemptively answering before anyone can bother to ask "oh what is he veteran of". You really do not need to attack people ❤️
Wtf?
i work in a rehab hospital and this made me cry. seeing so many patients like this breaks my heart. i broke down crying when you said “nothing i want matters to anyone!” sometimes healthcare workers forget that physical care isn’t the only thing we care for.
Sometimes healthcare needs to remember that patients deserve autonomy and you don't always know better than they do.
@@ThesmartestTem exactly i agree with you i preach that!!
As someone with a terminal diagnosis, this really hits home. A lot of Drs will try to keep you in at all costs, regardless of the patients quality of life. A nurse or dr who listens is unbeatable.
Yeah, this is why places like Dignitas exist, so people can die with dignity at a time of their choosing. We wouldn't force our pets to live such a poor quality of life, so why should we force humans to?
1) most doctors “don’t like to lose”, so yes, many will continue to offer options
2) families “don’t like to lose” even more… often (unintentionally) guilting a patient to “at least try” this, that, or the other thing
When the radiation and chemo to kill my dad's prostate cancer ended up not working, his attitude was "fuck this shit, I'm out." He got them to send him home, stopped eating, and was gone in less than three days. My dad had been a Marine, and then taught high school for 33 years, and he didn't brook disagreement.
I hope if I'm ever in a similar position, I can do the same thing.
This one had me in tears. So easy to forget about the patient’s autonomy and humanity in the face of all the policy of the hospital. Thank you.
I think it's more than just a hospital policy. The nurse really had the old man's best interests in heart, but nurses are terribly busy and sometimes forget that patient's best interests and patient's wishes may not be one and the same.
It’s really tough at the end. What science, we can keep people alive for such a long time, but people forget sometimes about quality of life. What’s the point of keeping someone alive to keep them sitting in a hospital chair all the time?
@@olmostgudinaf8100 There is no justification for inhumane practices, no emphaty for nurses here
@@olmostgudinaf8100Patients have rights. Unless they are declared mentally incompetent or someone with power of attorney forces them to stay, a patient has every right to refuse treatment and leave. With that said, I recently had a liver transplant and was in really bad shape before and briefly after transplant (I’m relatively young so my recovery is going super fast now). While I got frustrated with the limitations hospital staff put on me, I knew they had my best interests in mind. So, listen to your nurses and doctors unless you know for sure you are terminal and just want some semblance of normal life before passing.
I'm a nurse. I can relate. There have been times I've had to sit and comfort an elderly patient who didn't want treatment any more, but to live out what's left of their time on earth in peace and in the comfort of their own homes. However, their families want the hospital to do "EVERYTHING" to keep grandma/grandpa alive. Breaks my heart every single time.
🤦♀️ Those families are selfish - they’re not thinking of the patient, just themselves- reminds me of this one family who was trying to get the courts to force a hospital to keep their brain dead child (brain dead from birth) on machines after the hospital said it was time- that poor child was suffering in pain every day- just a corpse kept alive by machines and being poked and prodded, & they just wanted the child to remain hooked up for life despite there being no quality of life nor chance for any sort of recovery- really gross actually and tying up resources that could be used in someone who needed them 🤦♀️ It’s difficult to let someone go, but when it’s their time, it’s their time
Same here, I'm a nurse who works with ederly people. Here it's the doctors, they're never giving up on trying to find the etiology for everything, never stop a treatment until it's too late to stop and start palliative care. I will always remember the people we've tried to "save", ultimately losing them in a miserable condition because our doctors wouldn't let them go. I'm not saying we should give up on everyone easily, I'm just saying sometimes, when the patient is 80-90, even 100 years old, he had had a good life, and deserves to go decently, without pain.
@@candicecart9786 It's selfish, but a selfishness born out of pain and fear, I imagine. Not greed for power and self-righteousness (like, say, antivaxxers or no-maskers, for example). None of us want to hurt, and we often think we know best for others. People think they can avoid that hurt by postponing the inevitable, but really, they are holding themselves in a prolonged state of it.
Your case was horrifying and extreme. Sounds like an example of how wealth can create a sense of power that, when challenged, leaves nothing but denial that their resources can't fix everything.
So much of this comes from a culture that has a fearful relationship with death. It perpetuates itself because we aren't prepared to handle it when it happens, and then we're so traumatized, we can't talk about it afterwards - which continues the cycle because others aren't educated and prepared.
Ugh. I really need to find a grief counselor. I can't imagine holding on so long like this. Sudden death is hard enough to deal with.
💜
@@flyushkifly
I don’t know how anti vax and and anti mask are greedy for power… they just wanna do their own thing. Wether or not they just don’t care about weak people dying or they’re crazy and think it’s gonna kill them or is a tracking chip.
I honestly don’t care. I do find the crazy crazy ones funny tbh. Paranoia is funny to watch on people. And if they wanna get themselves killed they can go for it. Anyone else can wear their shit or get their shots and be either fine or too weak.
I deplore this. Family should NOT be allowed to negate a living will or POLST
This really hit hard. You did such an incredible job
I was in hospital for 4 months straight last year. First 2 months I wasn't allowed any leave, and all I wanted was fresh air. After I finally got clearance for an hour leave at a time one of the nurses started taking me out to the grassy patch outside emergency's entrance for hot chocolate. It was honestly the best. It was about so much more than just fresh air. She made me feel like a person, not just a patient
Nurse's really are heros. You guys deserve so much more appreciation
This really got to me. As a person with a few illness’s everybody forgets your feelings. From family that have no patience, to the drs that treat you like a number. It does get very depressing at times. Thank you 😊
🫂
It's like the world forgets you exist once you have a chronic illness that keeps you mostly homebound.
I’m 22 and I already had something like a stroke. Yup, no patience or anything. O well. Just enjoying the last of my time here 🧸
Can’t blame them. It’s their job or you’re taking more than you’re giving 🤷♀️ just try and be more independent.
I've felt that way as a Pt. I try very hard not to make others I care for feel that way. It's easy to do because you just go in "work mode" and kinda forget that these people have feelings, are scared, lonesome. I'm sorry for that. I will continue to do my best to make all those I care for feel loved even if it's for a minute.
I relate to this old guy too much. I was inpatient in ICU/SCU for over 6 months about 10years ago. All I wanted was for someone to listen to what I wanted. I was on chemo and when my hair started falling out I wanted it shaved but nobody would do it. I asked that dialysis occur after physical therapy because I always felt sluggish after dialysis but it almost never happened. I wanted to go sit outside on Easter but staff got too busy to get a wheelchair. I wanted a razor to shave my beard off after 3 months but docs said infection risk was too high but my overnight nurse, Mike, came in at 2am, woke me up and carefully gave me a shave anyway - I cried because someone finally heard what I needed. I get that there’s a lot of things that should and shouldn’t be done but sometimes there are little things that could mean the world to a patient, like sitting outside, and could help them heal... In an ideal world, if it’s not going to make them worse or if they may not survive their stay maybe it’s not such a bad thing to say ok to someone.
we are so human, so multi dimensional
we need care in less robotic ways
we need to be validated and nurtured
@@wstmag8 I appreciate that greatly. And thank you for choosing a profession caring for others in their time of need. My mother was a RN for 42 years and my sister has a masters in nursing. I appreciate more than many the sacrifices given and demands placed on nurses which is why no matter how much I wanted to be heard, I never blamed the nurses for not hearing me. I understand the bureaucracy and dynamics at play and understand that it's not always (if ever) the nurses decision on what care is provided. Congratulations on graduating, and thanks again
I had an elderly gentleman admitted w/this horrible beard. It was obvious the home health aide wasn’t 4:33 bathing him properly and the dirt was built up under his beard. It was finally my day having him as a patient and I was so annoyed w/my peers for not shaving him. So I started shaving him, word got out on the floor and each nurse came in saying to me, “oh I am so glad it’s you getting in trouble and not me, his wife is going to be mad. How are you going to explain it?”. I looked at them and said I’m telling her the truth, his face is filthy under the beard and for me to properly wash his face he needed to be shaved. My head nurse told me you better hope I don’t have to write you up🤦🏻♀️ I just looked at her and said for doing my job🤷🏻♀️ Around 2 pm I was in another patient room and I heard commotion and my name being called. I walk out of the room and my head nurse says “the patient’s wife wants to talk w/you”. I walked in the room and she looked at me and asked did you shave my husband? I said yes, it needed to be done. She started crying and thanked me. She then told me her husband hated beards but the home health aide would not shave him. Everyday after that each nurse shaved him and we reported the home health aide. Oh, and my peers waited in the hall by the door b/c they wanted to see her yell at me. Joke was on them!
@@michelemiktus2312 thanks for sharing and for going out on a limb for your patient. It meant more than just about anything to me in that moment that someone was willing to listen to me as a person and not as a policy. I'm sure your kindness meant the world to your patient and his wife, as well.
Damnit, Steve. Now you got me crying. My Dad was on dialysis for years and yes, it was keeping him alive, but the quality of life is absolute hell. Your life revolves around dialysis. The days you don't have dialysis, you still feel like shit. I'm grateful for the extra time we had him until he passed 11-18-21. Thank you for being so caring with your patients.
Same .. my Dad was on dialysis for years and passed 11/20/09. So much respect for all the doctors and nurses who never gave up on him. Sending a virtual hug @JeannetteGreen ❤️
I am sorry for your loss. I lost my own father on 12-4-22. He had been home on hospice since august 10th, 5 days after a major surgery of mine, though not on dialysis. I cared for him up until his last breathe. Even when he had no strength to get up, he tried to sit up, insistent that he go outside. My dad had always been a smoker, but when his health declined and I had my first baby a year ago, the smoking inside stopped.
I regret not having the strength to get him up and outside.
I kept his wheelchair that he sat in for the last time on August 10th, and i talk beside it every morning before work.
Not sure why i wrote all this out, except your comment really hit home and I'm scared to go into this New Year without my hero.
Wishing the best for you and yours, stay safe, and appreciate the gifts life gives you while you have them.
My dad was on dialysis for 6.5 years. I don’t wish that on anyone. This month is the 13th year since he passed away. He missed out on seeing his grandchildren grow up. But, he is at peace and no longer suffering. That gives me a little comfort.
My second husband died 12/13/2021. This was wonderfully real.
A bit like how your life revolves around a routine... nothing hard, just different
This was already one of my favorite skits, but it definitely hits different now. My mom almost single handedly takes care of my grandparents. Before my grandad's kidney issues, the two of them were living pretty independently. But with the state of both of their health, they can't be as independent anymore. I live further away, and find myself getting so frustrated with him when I know he's giving my mom a hard time and making things more difficult by not being compliant. But this reminds me just how much he and my grandma have lost. To go from not needing much help with anything to being heavily dependent on your only child cannot be easy. You can't go where you want, no longer allowed to drive, going to dialysis + an endless amount of doctors appointments, etc. And at their age a lot of their peers or family members have already passed on. It has to be such an awful feeling
it is, I am almost there
@@marycarricaburu3683Prayers for you 🙏 I hope your well
@@marycarricaburu3683 I'm 80.. I've had to "put to sleep" many many much loved pets.. Sometimes I wonder why that option isn't allowed for humans
it is 😢
Dammit, this one made me tear up because not only had I heard these patients/residents just want to give up, but I get it. They're 90 years old, failing and still have their mind. They know what's going on, and they're sick and tired of being sick and tired. 💔
Yeah, as everyone eventually finds out, getting old hurts every minute.
Well said. And like leegalen8383 said, everyone eventually finds out, getting old hurts every minute.
You gotta let them make decisions for as long as they’re capable. We just lost my great grandma almost two weeks ago. It was her time, she was 94 Ave weak and her mind had been falling for years and she had several infections. In her mind, she was in Lawrenceberg, Tennessee (she left there when she got married to her first husband) but she actually lived in Pekin, Illinois, where she’s lived longer than I’ve been alive. She’d looking for her momma and her daddy. It was a strain on my Memaw and her brother to make so many decisions all the time, always wondering if it was the right one every time. If someone is up there in years and can still make informed decisions about their health and their life, let them. It’s less stress on everybody all around.
@@everlasting9292I'm so sorry for you and your family, but it sounds like Great Grandma lived a full life, and she left this world knowing she was loved! Right now, the pain is at the forefront but, given time, the pain will ease somewhat, and you'll be able to remember her with more love than heartache. It'll take some time, but remember, everyone goes on this journey of grief at their own pace. It probably won't be the same pace as you, so everyone will also need to practice patience.
I'm telling you this because my sister lost her husband 10 years ago this month. She spent the first 1.5 years in a deep pit of despair. Since neither of us has any family other than each other, I held her up until she could stand on her own again. She has done the same for me in the past. That's what family does.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
My beloved got to that place, and it broke me. And even though I'd walked each agonizing step right by his side through his illness, I cried hard, but only because I felt I had no right to ask him to fight on.
Yet, being the narcissist that I am, I begged and begged anyway. Even when he'd taken his last breath, I begged him to please come back to me.
He suffered so, til I carry the shame of my selfishness to this day.
And it feels like yesterday.
He'd said, "I'm tired, baby."
And I wish that I'd had the courage to respect that, but I did not.
I'd loved him since I was 12.
I was 58 when he left. And my excuse was, that I did not know HOW to live without him. Yet, here I am still drawing unhappy breaths.
Last time I had a conversation like this, I talked her into staying till she was stable enough to make the trip home, and talked her family into listening to her. She got stabilized and went home to spend her final weeks surrounded by her beloved grandbabies. One of the best days of my life, honestly. I almost never have time to sit and talk with my patients like that.
This hit so close to home when he was talking about dialysis, my mind went back to me having to do chemo. I'm sick of it too and I've wanted to give up so many times. I'm 26 and I have had cancer for about 2 years and still undergoing it. It's nice to be outside or to vent because it makes us feel like a person. A person before all of this. I can't wait to be done with chemo and be cancer free!!!!
Wishing you a speedy recovery, sending lots of hugs and love your way 🤗 ❤
@@FifthHorsemanofApocalypse thank you so much!!!!!! I really hope I can beat it
I'm sorry you've had to go through that. I hope you beat it and you're able to do the things that make you feel like yourself.
@@rayvnekieron8587 honestly I just want to be normal with normal people problems lol thank you, it really means a lot
@@josephvasquez9932 you deserve all the good things in life I hope for a speedy recovery! It is hard they treat you as a patient and not a person sometimes.
This is sweet and shows a moment of connection, sensitivity, compassion, and really listening to your patient. That’s what good care is all about.
Steveioe I wasn’t ready for the feels this early. Being an ER tech is still one of the hardest things I’ve done. I care so much for my nurses, doctors, and patients. I’ve been the guy they send into patients to make them feel better, or “raise patient satisfaction scores”. I love being that guy because I can make people feel better by being the person that makes an extra few minutes to care and do the little things that make us people. I can’t do that anymore, the staffing shortages make it impossible. I only have time to do the bare minimum to keep the ER from imploding. I miss the before times. I’m falling out of love with the job I have loved so much and I hate it.
truth. from a floor tech, i'm right there with ya
I wish you luck, some days are harder than others- I work at a radiology clinic in Canada, and I'm often on unpaid overtime because I took an extra few minutes with someone.... and then some Karen yells at me because she forgot her paperwork. I always try to remember the kind patients, because they make my day. Sending you a high five from Canada, you've got this, and I'm sure you bring more positivity than you know, even when you're stretched thin :)
Hopefully those days will be back around soon. (Fingers crossed.)
This was absolutely beautiful.
Be patient with yourself. You're needed and appreciated. God has given you a gift. Especially your needed in the times we're now in.
I am 100% Mr. Goodbar. I was born with Sickle Cell I'm now 41 & sick of being alive. Everyone around me sees surviving my peers by 20+ years as a miracle. I just seems unnecessary prolong suffering. My doctors constantly keep telling me that my next flair will kill me, but God doesn't seem to want me to come home. Every birthday is unbearable because all I can see ahead of me & behind me is suffering. I just needed to vent as my birthday is a few weeks away.
NiLa, I understand.. I'm so sorry you're in pain. And for some reason, God's not ready for you to come home. I prayed for you. I had a horrible upbringing and I've managed to put it behind me and go on to a full life. Sometimes that depression and voices from the past come up and I think I don't want to be alive anymore, but I'm physically very healthy and I know these feelings will pass in a few hours and the sun comes out again.
I can't imagine not having that blessing. Not wanting to be alive because it's physically so painful must be the worst. I'm so profoundly sorry. You're an inspiration to me. When we do eventually meet in heaven, I can't wait to hug you. And I hope this birthday is pain free so you can celebrate that one small thing. That is my prayer for you. A pain free birthday that isn't a burden for you.
Til we meet... stay strong, my sister.
I’m so sorry that you’re suffering. It isn’t noble. It’s suffering. I hope you get some peace and pain relief.
im sorry about your suffering. A DNR might help give you some assurance in that regard so that the next time you get it serious you wont have to worry about waking in pain
@@mizv4043 Thank you. I've had I've had for years but I couldn't trust my family to honor it until recently. Sadly it took my grandmother becoming ill until she understood my pov & stopped guilting me into accepting treatments I didn't want.
Dear Nila,
I wish you warmth and love on your birthday. 💗
I'm crying after watching this. Reminds me of when I worked in a care home and there was a married couple who had lived there for 7 years called George and Mary.
They always ate their meals at a table in their 2nd room (two residents means entitled to two rooms, and the 2nd was set up like a dining/living room) instead of with the other people who lived in the care home. One day Mary didn't wake up as she'd died in her sleep. About 4-6 months later George was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
He only had one room now and ate with the other residents in the dining room, but as he got sicker he lost his appetite and soon ate very little.
More than once near the end he asked me to help him end his life. That's not legal here and I couldn't have done it, even though I absolutely believed it was in his best interests. Instead I sat with him and told him that he was safe and warm and that Mary was waiting for him. He said that was all he wanted, just to see Mary again.
He asked me if I was married or if I was "courting". I told him I was courting someone and he said when you find the right person being apart from them is the hardest thing in the world.
The last time I saw him, he again asked me to help him end his life, and again I had to tell him that I could not. He said "I know lass, it's not your fault" as I had tears in my eyes. He said he'd be seeing Mary soon and I brought him a picture of her (even though I knew that wasn't what he meant) and made him as comfortable as I could.
He died soon after this, during the night after I'd finished my shift.
George and Mary were married over 50 years and are buried together.
Sometimes the best decision for a person's health is realising that they are old, or very sick, and that they are going to die. Accepting this is not always easy, but it is kinder.
I’m glad I live in Canada, where it is legal to be euthanized. We allow animals to go when they suffer but treat ourselves with less respect….
Downhome... Thanks for sharing that. I had no idea
@@downhomesunset I agree about the euthanasia. When our pets or livestock are suffering from a condition that means they have no quality of life, their bodies cannot function in the most basic ways (eg eating, drinking, being able to go to the toilet) and they are deteriorating with no way back, we do what is right and what is kindest, rather than leaving them to continue to suffer unnecessarily. We should be able to show this kindness to humans too.
Thank you for opening up and telling us about it.
@@caroljo420 thank you for taking the time to read about George and his final days.
I feel like people should know how powerless you can feel when the one thing someone asks from you on their deathbed, is the one thing that you cannot give them.
For someone; who is already dying and will not live another week on this earth.
For someone who is in agonising pain and only wants it to stop and to be reunited with his wife of 50 years.
The feelings of the patient are exactly why I insisted on emphasizing to my Dad that he needed to make choices about his care and health before he was to the point he couldn't. He got all the care hr wanted and needed until he passed a year and a half ago. I really miss him, but I will always be proud that I made sure HE made his decisions and no one else.
This is my favorite sketch, it’s so good it shouldn’t even be called a sketch. It’s a full on short film. The acting, the story, everything. It needs to be submitted to a film festival I swear it will get awards.
Agreed
Agreed. Mr Goodbar reminded me of my father. Long story but my dad had problems for awhile. He kept going into anaphylactic shock. So, he used an EpiPen often. He was in and out of hospital with all kinds of issues. It was odd. Finally, they determined it was an intestinal blockage. They removed so much of it that they did a colostomy which would be reversed as soon as things calmed down. He hated the colostomy and was embarrassed about it.
One day, I was at the house and he complained of a pain in his calf. I told him it might be a clot and I was calling 911. He refused sounding much like Mr Goodbar. He and I argued. He still refused but I called anyway. When they arrived he was furious and refused care. Dad was the nicest man and everyone loved and respected him. Finally, the paramedics gave in and so did I. He told them & me that only he was
responsible if anything happened. But he was sick of doctors and hospitals and said he was ready to die. It was awful. I didn’t have POA and my Mom was unreachable. I’m not sure why the paramedics didn’t force him to go, but when my dad spoke everyone listened and did what he said. They again advised him that he was taking his life in his hands, but they wouldn’t make him go. That night, while getting ready for bed, he had a massive stroke. It took forever to get him out of the bathroom because he fell against the door. By then, it was too late for treatment even if he was airlifted. We were advised that this would most likely be fatal and he would have another stroke. He lived another 10 days. We never gave up and he was treated and therapy tried. No one ever told him he had the stroke, I don’t think he knew what had happened until an outside therapist mentioned it. He died that night. He passed away peacefully while looking at me smiling. I’ll never get over it and I blame myself for giving in. He was only 74.
people in health care do care... I am on dialysis, and they do everything to take care of me.
I AGREE 💯.👋.🕷️.
We do care!!! ❤ My life as an occupational therapist, is dedicated to helping others feel better!! This short film is priceless!!!! Thank you everyone for sharing your testimonies, let us be reminded that at the end of the day, we all need that personal touch or minute to just sit and enjoy the little things, and it has nothing to do with traditional medicine. It’s that moment of precious connection like this one!!! 🥰❤️🥰🙏🏻🥰
For years I worked hospice and I have to say this is the most precious thing someone can give someone. Time to enjoy one last time..and letting them go ❤
😢
💜💜💜💜💜 amen.
This is heartbreaking. I understand Mr. Goodbar. We all need to understand him.
Far too often we understand this better than most imagine. You finally reach that point.
Life comes for all of us in the end
Mr. Goodbar is a selfish old curmudgeon. He comes to the hospital VOLUNTARILY and of his own free will... looking for help. Then he decides that he's going to set the rules down and "do things his way"- therefore making life difficult for those trying to help him. I've seen this play out with my own two eyes- many times. We really ought to stop coddling the selfish in the way that we do.
@@melissachartres3219 I saw your replies to several other comments, they all say the same thing, and it seems like you’re failing to see the point of the video. All he wants is someone to hear him and involve him in his own life.
Try seeing it from his side. Really try. Imagine this man is a family member or friend you’re really close to. Or imagine that you’re the patient that’s in this position. Please just try for a few minutes. Also, this reply is going to be a novel and I’m going to apologize for that in advance. I really am sorry it’s long, but please read it all. Or at least skim through it.
His wife/best friend/support is gone and probably has been for years.
He’s in renal failure so he’s on dialysis indefinitely because he’s too old for a transplant.
He spends 3-5 days a week sitting at the dialysis center for the better part of his day with two huge needles (large enough to see the light through them) in his arm or leg or wherever his most recent fistula is, hooked up to a machine.
He also has to hope the dialysis techs can hit the right spot the first time so he does have to get stabbed more than twice.
And he has to hope they don’t infiltrate the vein/artery, especially because he’s on blood thinners.
Then once he’s done, he’s exhausted because dialysis is a lot of work for anyones body.
Then he goes home and has nobody there to talk to because his wife is dead.
Or he goes to a assisted living center where he has no control over anything.
They decide when he eats, what he eats, when he showers, when he wakes up to get his vitals taken, when he goes to the bathroom, when he has to leave his room, so on and so forth.
No one says or implies he went to the ER voluntarily, and, based on what he said about hospitals in the video, I’d be willing to bet he was forced to go by someone else.
Now he’s in the ER and nobody will stop to listen to him. The O2 is drying out his nose and there are a few things you can do to help, but no one is actually listening so nothing gets fixed.
He wants to go outside for a minute, or at least to stand up and walk for a minute. Seeing how busy the ER seems to be in this video, he’s probably been laying in that stretcher for most of the 24 hours in his day.
The biggest problem is that no one will listen to him. No one cares about his wishes. If he not longer wants to receive treatment, that’s his choice and they should speak to palliative/hospice care.
All he wants is some semblance of control over his own life. Which is something all people need in order to be happy. And yes, he wants attention. So does everyone else in the world. So do you. If you didn’t want any attention, you wouldn’t be sharing your opinion with anyone who will listen. So do I, or I wouldn’t spend time typing this reply. The difference between you and I and the patient? You and I want the attention so we can share our thoughts about other people. The patient just wants attention so he can share his thoughts on his own life.
He’s also not a noncompliant patient. I’ve seen a lot of noncompliant patients while working in a hospital and this man is an angel compared to them. He used his call light, he put his oxygen back on as soon as he was told to and kept it on, he didn’t throw things at or yell at the nurse. He didn’t punch, kick, slap, or physically assault the nurse.
Yes. He did leave the ER. But he didn’t go far and once someone finally listened to him, he was willing to go back inside. He actually offered to go inside so the nurse could get home sooner, which is far from selfish.
However, even if you get rid of all of that, his number one right as a patient is the right to refuse treatment. If he says no, that has to be respected.
@@melissachartres3219What’s selfish is having family and a medical system which insists on keeping suffering people alive when all they want to do is die. I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts the old guy was driven to the hospital by family and forced into doing dialysis against his will.
Steveioe is such a good actor, he actually made me cry! I know nurses have a job to do, but sometimes people need to be given their freedom and peace for just a few moments. I'm glad he just sat down and was quiet for the old man. That's all he truly wanted.
This skit made me cry. I can't remember the last time I felt so moved. Steveoie, you seem to have found your calling. Please continue to create your skits.
Me too. My mother came in and asked what was going on. He captured a beautiful but sad moment that shows the struggles of dealing with death. My grandmother recently died and it was very difficult for us, but I think for her it was a relief.
Same, tears streaming down my face right now. Love these skits whether they make me laugh or cry.
Time to register for hospice.
Thing is he is so spot on what goes on in health care.
Every "skit" is something that has actually happened.
This was really beautiful. I think it is important as healthcare workers to remember that the people we are seeing and treating are in fact people. The job is not just physically taxing, it is mentally and emotionally taxing. Depending on the part of healthcare you work in, you can spend years caring for the same people, watching these people slowly deteriorate in front of you until someone you have grown to love, or even have just gotten used to being around, suddenly isn't anymore.
Side note, your Mr. Goodbar voice was freaking excellent.
Precisely, I am chronically ill so I spend a lot of time in the hospitals and sometimes I feel so sad for old people in there being treated like things in a supermarket :(
Watching them deteriorate when you've known and cared for them for years (even the newer ones who have only lived there for months or even weeks actually) is the absolute worst part of my job. I work in an assisted living/supportive housing home and many of our residents live in the home for years and years and years, you spend more time with them than your own family. You learn all about their lives, you know what they take in their coffee, the foods they love and hate, their mannerisms and quirks and tell tale signs when something is off. It's gut wrenching when someone you care for so much and take care of daily for years dies but it's even worse when you see them in excruciating pain as they're slowly slipping away. It's certainly not the kind of job that's for everyone, you need a strong stomach, a big heart and the ability to shake it off quickly after you just gave someone cpr or 3 doses of narcan or w.e and just pray the paramedics and hospital can help them because you still have 100+ other people to take care of and several more hrs of your shift before you can go home and cry.
But the amazing people you get to meet and build relationships with every day make it so worth it
@@Larrysbride I work in a nursing home, most of us treat old people with dignity and respect, despite low pay, long hours, horrific working environments and abusive patients and families. For that we get derided and judged as not being good enough. If you care so much, take your person home. If you want to change the situation, at least be a part of it and know what we go through as the workers.
I have scars on my hand from when a patient had decided she’d had enough. I was stopping her pulling out her IV and she put her nails in me. We came to an agreement: I’d remove all treatment and notify her doctors 🥼 f she’d just let me do it neatly and safely. She passed within about six hours. It was dignified and peaceful.
@@ashleyboudreau8341 I just moved my dad into assisted living today. I hope the staff there care the way you seem to. Thank you for doing what you do.
There was one patient we kept for around 2 months in the L&D because her water broke at 22 weeks. Her room had no windows to the outside so we all took turns letting her sit in an empty room with windows when it was available so she can see cars and people passing by. She was very grateful for it and thanked us profusely when she finally delivered at 33 weeks. Sometimes it just takes a little humanity from all of us to make a big difference in someone else's life.
I would question why a long term patient like that was given a room without windows and why in the whole 2 months was she not moved to another room.
There maybe lots of reason for that. Maybe her room was a single room or near the nurse office? Or her room have special equipments? To monitor the heart rate of child etc. there must be a logical explanation for nurses actions.
@@olmostgudinaf8100 totally wondering that too. Windowless rooms drive people crazy. Not great for an expectant mother...
Yes. This^^^^^^. Thank you.
That’s amazing❤❤❤
Steve is so talented it’s hard to believe that all these characters are all played by him!
This was beautiful, Steve.
We need to remember that those who are dying need to live too.
They have a right to decide what they want to do . Big respect for the reminder. 💖
Goodbar lived plenty- let him clear out and make way for the new batch.
@@melissachartres3219 That's a narcissistic thing to say. He deserves to go out with as little suffering and humiliation as he can, in his own time, and you should respect the ending of a human life. Is that how you want to be treated when it's your turn? Someone telling you to get out like you're just rubbish to be taken out with the trash?
@@edennis8578 How is it narcissistic? Please be specific in your reply. Goodbar is the real narcissist here... missing dialysis appointments, being non-compliant, wanting special attention. People grow backwards at some point... meaning that the elderly often turn back into babies. They aren't self-sacrificing at all- as books and movies would have us believe. That's just the movies. They want all the attention. Have you not dealt with the elderly before? I mean large swaths of them... not just YOUR grandma. Again- please use specific examples (if you can remember some) in your reply.
His body, his choice. My dad refused dialysis, chose hospice, died peacefully at home. I was there for the last beat of his heart
@@edennis8578 This Melissa person is really out here paraphrasing Ebenezer Scrooge BEFORE he gets redeemed ("so let them die and decrease the surplus population!") and thinking she's making a point 🤦🏻♀️
That brought tears to my eyes-
It’s so easy to forget that everyone has feelings- and some day we all will be Mr Goodbar. Awesome video 💜
Same
Steve, you captured the exact tone and spirit that our much older folks and caregivers experience while in the hospital/long-term/hospice. Good on you.
I was thinking this same thing. I used to work in long term care as a nurse assistant. I saw this far too often.
Not only old people so many people are in this same situation from infants to the elderly. I got I'll at age 9 and spent many, many months that at one point came to be a total of over half my life hospitalized and then at homebound, can relate to both sides of this as I also was at one time the nurse who then got to experience the patient side. Stevie, this was one of your best videos, but always enjoy them because they are so very true.
This made me cry so hard. Thank you for this video. So many things in this apply to my Dads current situation. It has helped me understand why my 82 year old father is feeling this way at the moment.
This resonates with me so much. Working in health care I often met older people who felt they were being kept alive simply to prove medical technology and interventions could stop them dying from illnesses that would have ended their lives years before. They were ready to go, their spouses,friends and even children were no longer alive, they felt they had no real purpose and were just existing. It was heartbreaking because my job was to make sure they took the meds, had the treatments and recieved the care that was keeping their bodies going. What I couldn't do was give them back the decision making powers they had lost or a reason to think everyday they were still alive was a blessing and not a millstone round their neck. Well done steveio, I think this should be shown in every ethics class anyone working in medical or social care takes.
If you don't understand such ethics naturally you not a human
@@nadMoZzzg I wouldn't say that. In the Western society, especially in medicine, sees death as evil, an enemy that needs to be fought. The patient becomes a battlefield of denying death a victory. Until we go back to accepting that death is not an enemy but an inevitability this way of thinking will continue.
@@joannewoodward3480
Ok, but
>We are destroying someone's humanity and autonomy and make them suffer.
>to prove something to ourselves and to society, mostly about how good and moral we are.
>And because "those are the rules" and nobody want problems.
More like simple ignorance and neglect with "for you own good" hypocrisy.
Taking away a person's right to die is the most humiliating thing you can do to someone
@@nadMoZzzg but what? Isn't that the point I made?
@@joannewoodward3480 I think that's also the wrong approach. Death should be a personal choice. Rather than giving up and saying welp I guess it happens, or forcing life on someone who is done with living, one should have power to choose their own life or death.
I'm a disabled person and when you said 'no one cares what I want' it hit hard. My medical needs always supersede what I want and its crushing.
Wtf why am I crying. The fact the first time he offered to go back inside was when he thought about the younger man situation was powerful. It’s not easy to care for yourself. There is so much power in caring for others. It motivates like no other.
As a nurse of 14 years, you definitely made me cry with this one.
As an ER nurse myself, I always have to ask what is it that the patient wants from us, why did they come to the ER and what are their expectations (so long as the patient is coherent, oriented). If family is present, they can listen but not interrupt until the patient is done talking. Sometimes I have to have family wait outside while I talk to the patient then I can bring the family back to the bedside. It gets so very complicated. Having a social worker in the ER is a huge help.
Wow I have genuine tears in my eyes. As someone who has an incurable disabling illness and frequently wants to just give up and let nature take its course, there’s nothing more special than medical/psych workers who get you. And promise you’ll never have to have any treatment you don’t want. Just to have that feeling of control and bodily autonomy is so important in healthcare. This was the best video you’ve ever made ❤️
I agree w u Alyssa. I have chronic pain conditions (that’s what I tend to call it now)… I’ve been ‘diagnosed’ w MANY “incurable illnesses” but I’ve been a medical mystery for literally 10 years now. The drs won’t listen to me. I have a rare story but it’s crazy real yet unbelievable. Perhaps you may have some of the things I have!! Right now I’m crying in pain. I have ice on my neck & several hot water bottles in several places… shit began back when I was only 14/15 years old 🥺😔 from 2017-present though has been the most complicated health wise and the agonizing pain that no dr outta over 50+ drs (I apparently have seen. My current dr told me that during a recent fight we had. He’s actually an old man my dr; he listens 50% of the time. I’m grateful for him n DONT take anything personally he says honestly. I’m 24 now I’ve learned how to speak up for myself when necessary and I’ve NEVER disrespected him or raised my voice til 2 years of being under his care) so I guess I got passionate once he started directing his bullshit to my father cause he can throw all the daggers he wants at me. But bringing Papa G into the equation WILL get a reaction out of me. Maybe that’s what he wanted who knows, he’s also weirdly clever like that lol anyways my point is throughout the years of fighting these chronic pain conditions…. I lost respect completely for the healthcare/medical field. I’m the girl who cried pain, fr. I’ll be sharing my story soon, it’s a rare one. I hope to inspire people on becoming their greatest version. Especially inspiring those going through similar situations as me. Possibly-like you. 🤍☺️ Take care.. xo 💋
I’ve had a variety of diagnosis, supposedly I’m not sick enough, but whatever the hell I have has been progressing. I have a lot of difficulty sleeping partly due to adhd and partly due to chronic pain. I have more doctors than anyone I actually know. I see two different neurologists now, and trying hedge my bet on the next specialist I’ll be referred to. It’s just tiring, taking care of myself is a full time job that I don’t get paid for and I struggle with bills. They want us to live so bad only to forget we are in pain or suffering and have to pretend to be ok so we can have company. We give so much up, and we are expected to give even more up, but healthy folks don’t think it’s a big deal until they deal with it. I saw it when I was healthier taking care of my late MIL. I’m honestly thinking about getting an DNR order
I’d take myself into the woods and feed my body to the critters. Fuck being weak.
I know satire & comedy is what your platform is based on... but your range is genuinely remarkable. Huge fan of your work, your truth, & your creativity. Thank you for sharing your gifts.
I love this about him. I've spent too much time in hospitals as mom to a medically complex little girl and hospital life runs this gamut.
I love not knowing if we're getting funny or feel good, like we're along for the ride with the ER nurses.
This is the best ad I’ve ever seen for advance directives. I work in healthcare and part of my job is determining whether patients have capacity to make their own medical decisions. Too many doctors think people must not have the cognitive ability to make decisions if they make choices “against medical advice.”
I don’t care what age you are - think about what kind of life sustaining treatments you would or definitely WOULD NOT want and when you wouldn’t want any treatment any more. Document those wishes formally (with your healthcare system or state form & get it notarized!). Decide who you trust most to advocate for YOUR choices if you become unable to advocate for yourself and list that person on the same notarized document.
Thank you for making this video and for letting Mr. Goodbar show you that there’s more to life than continuing to exist at all costs. ❤
This brought me to tears. Took care of both my parents at the end. They didn't want to be on breathing tubes or feeding tubes. My mom made me promise. So I understand. It goes against everything in us sometimes. But sometimes we need to respect people's decisions not to keep going. Especially when the quality of life isn't there.
I was only an activity aid on a nursing home, but I saw lots of patients like this. The ones who still wanted independence and the ones who were ready to go. Not gonna lie, this made me cry.
This sort of thing happened with my grandpa.
His depression had gotten worse cause he couldn't go anywhere. He was doing physical therapy cause he just had a hip replaced.
His nurse (who almost got fired cause of this) changed his physical therapy for a day. Instead of walking up and down the hall multiple times, she walked with my grandpa to the lil park thing in the center of the hospital for patients to get fresh air.
When he realized where they were going, he started walking a lil faster, and she had to slow him down to make sure he walked properly.
He sat on a bench with the nurse for I don't even know how long til his doc found them and actually sat with em for a lil bit to give my grandpa medicine (doc that day was a family friend)
Watching this made me think of him. Thank you, for the happy memory.
I’m crying. This one cut so deeply. This was beautiful.
I use to drive a wheelchair van and we took mobility impaired patients to appointments. One of my regulars was just like this sketch. He just wanted to die but the medical teams did everything they could to keep him alive. It broke my heart how miserable he was.
I do the same type of work. It's difficult to see them suffering when they are just existing and are trying to please family members. 😢
@@JesusluvmeAbsolutely repulsive how some people will keep sick family members hanging on out of selfishness. If they genuinely loved them, they’d respect their wishes and let them go.
Normally I cry from laughing at this guy. Definitely didn't expect this from him. You touched my heart MuFKR. Great acting!
That was so beautiful. I am a doctor and a nephrologist and I really love you content. It is pretty much my life! I am happy that you gave attention to this big problem: we health workers want so much for our patients that it is sometimes hard for us to let them have their own wishes about their lives. Great work here!
I'm facing this same issue with a loved one. Tears on my eyes, this is the best video so far. It's a real issue and though not comedic it's very noteworthy. Thank you.
My grandpa was like this at the end. Refused to let anyone help him bathe or go to the bathroom. Didn't want to admit himself in the first place which led to the cancer being too far to do anything about it. Its heartbreaking watching them try to hold on to their pride. They're not being difficult they're just feeling out of control of their lives.
Basically how a teenager is
@@rebeccaconlon9743 expect teenagers are freaking out bc they have entire life ahead of them, while elders are freaking out bc they have no life left
I just lost my dad after 8 weeks in the Hospital. Everything about this skit hit me hard. We were all so focused on his meds & treatments...we lost him anyway. I wish I would have wheeled him outside, just once. 😔
I get the feeling he actually went through a patient interaction like this - like this is a true story. So he put it out there to show us what it was like. 👍 Thanks
Steve seems to have seen literally everything!
@@thaloblue Everything? Like even giant ants in top-hats dancing? Even midget giraffes with laryngitis and hippos with chapped lips?
@@melissachartres3219 He's not a veterinarian so he wouldn't have seen all that lol. Just the human body.
Many of us have, unfortunately.
HIPAA😊
This... ended up being a tragedy and beautiful at the same time. I love how he handled this, things like this we don't always think about.
This one hit very close to home for me.
Excellent portrayal of an overwhelmed patient who just can't take it anymore
I watch Steveioe every day. This is the first time one of his skits has brought me to tears. Steveioe, if this is how you treat your patients, I wish you’d been my dads nurse. Thank you for having the patience and humanity that you have.
Steveioe you did a wonderful job!!!! and as an X-security guard at a hospital this always broke my heart too see. keep up the great work
I love how well you do every character. I literally forget it's all you because it's so well done.
I also love how you showcase not just silly things or big things but the little things too
Dang, this hit me right in the feels. My grandma died by her own hand because she was just tired of life. She probably had a good 5-10 years left if she really wanted them. My great grandma was the same as this old man, being kept alive by machines. She stopped eating and drinking, refused to be hooked up anymore, and somehow made it 2 more weeks. This reminds me of both of them. Old and tired. Sometimes it’s just time to go, even when it doesn’t make sense to those around you. May God bless the beautiful old souls who have passed on or are close to.
It was refreshing hearing a nurse (heck, any medical professional tbh) say, "I'm sorry". I've had some awesome nurses and doctors in my life, but I've also had some pretty shabby treatment that was not reasonable, and many times when a nurse or a doctor didn't listen to me. And when I was proved right, I never got an "I'm sorry" or a "sorry we f'd up". I get it's a stressful job, but this, this was nice to hear and made me tear up.
Facts. A simple "I:m sorry" goes a long way
This made me cry. I've taken care of three grandparents at home until their passing. My last surviving gma died seven months ago. I will never forget when I was doing her physical therapy for her stroke rehabilitation and she took my hand and looked me in the eye and said....honey I'm so tired, please can I just rest. I knew she meant something more than just that day. I accepted and only two weeks later she slipped out of this life while my mom, me and my uncles held her. Being a caregiver is hard. Dealing with end of life is excruciating.....but it's not about you, it's about them. Give dignity where you can. Give love and comfort unconditionally.
This made me burst into tears. I understand it all. Have cared for both parents and my husband who died from Parkinson’s. Thank you for this post. God bless all patients and healthcare providers. There does come a point when it’s all too much and comfort care is needed. It’s just so hard to know when-thanks to all who work so hard to get us well when that’s possible. Thanks to all Drs, nurses and hospice workers there to help us when healing in this life in no longer a possibility. We need all of you.
Man… thank you. This was my grandfather during a few hospital visits. Thank you for seeing and showing his humanity. I don’t really have words. Just… thank you.
it is hardgoing these daysbut someone who gives a minute or 41 minutes can show care and a reason to hope and persevere regardless the circumstances. Really impressed Steveioe!
This hit home. I'm a CNA at a nursing home, and I see this often enough that it makes me try harder to be patient and kind with our residents. You really nailed it.
This one hits sooo hard! Steve shows the comedy that is life in the ER, but he doesn't skip the sweet moments either.
This hit home! I’ve been chronically ill for 25 years. I was on dialysis for 15 years until I received my second kidney transplant 4 years ago.. I’m so grateful for the nurses that listen to me, give me more graham crackers , hold my hand while the other nurse searches for a vein , listen to my fears and so much more…. I can never thank y’all enough… ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I’m 46. I’m on dialysis 5 days a week. Yes, it’s so hard. So so hard…but I’ve got a 20yr old and an 8 year old and an amazing husband who has learned to be my nurse and tech. I fight for them, but this video reminds me of the times when it gets too hard and I want to quit. Until you’re in those shoes, you don’t understand what it’s like to just want to go to the other side…to stop the pain, the sickness, the poking and prodding. My husband and I so enjoy watching your shorts while we take out my dialysis “canons” every night. It gives us something to laugh at and take our minds off of things while holding pressure. 😄. Thank you!
Just a quick query, as you're likely the mom, and having given birth to the 20 something, I'm assuming they chose not to donate a kidney?
I so appreciate your ability to find humor even in a so sad situation. I was tearing up watching this. But then I realized that you spent this video basically ‘Looking For Mr. Goodbar’. Then I laughed my ass off! Not many comedians can do that! You’re the real deal!!
Usually I would have caught it too but this skit made me so sad I was almost crying. Now I feel sad and weird but I'm smiling while I cry.
I was too. And yet very sad. I'm in heart failure and more. I may have 5-15 left, I may not. The most important thing I've done is to write our my wishes (no heroics) only make sure I'm not in pain. I've been through to much already.
@@donnaleeah5075 I wish you the absolute best in the time you have left. No one knows when we are destined to depart this life so I hope you enjoy every day you have - pain free!
This video is sooo important. Thank you.
I have never commented on your videos. I love them and watch everyone. This one broke me, I have sat here and cried for a good thirty minutes. I am my Moms caregiver, she suffers from dementia. I have heard almost that exact speech from her. She has told me she has no control of her own life anymore; each time she has to be admitted she tells me she doesn't want to be held hostage in that hell. She is constantly taking off her oxygen because it dries out her nose and hurts. It is crushing to care when as you titled this short the "patient" or in my case my parent, no longer does. There is nothing else to do but sit with them. Thank you, thank you for showing the side of the person just ready to go because they are tired; they are tired of feeling like they are no longer in control of their own life. Thank you for also showing the side of the person taking care of them and how no matter if you are a caregiver or a nurse it still hurts.
Is there a reason for you not helping her to leave if she’s ready to?
This resonates. I work in an SNF, half rehab half long term but our units are mixed. As a ward clerk I'm the one who's got the time to talk and to listen- at least more time than our overextended CNAs, LPNs, and RNs do. We've got about 23 Mr Goodbars at any time, id be the one to set up his dialysis transport, and any other followups with various specialists. I always talk with them and their families and do my best to advocate for their wants and needs, I remind them that they are still the CEO of their care. I'll fight the money machine to get their treatments, ill get a social worker to talk about advanced directives, but at the end of the day I get to go home while they do not. Being stuck in a hospital is usually horrific, being stuck in an SNF isn't too much better. I give a lot of hugs, tell alot of jokes and stories, give lots of motivational speeches to staff, sometimes I even rage against the machine for Mr Goodbar. I love what I do, you may say I'm the glue that holds many things together. Having my education in Psych and having worked as a DSP under NY's OPWDD for adults with disabilities was the best training for compassionate care and "person first" ethics. I hope you have a good ward clerk. Mr Goodbar is exactly the kind of fella who would most likely spend his days in front of the nurses station with me.
As a daughter of two parents in their 80s who have died in the last 6 years, this hits home so much. My dad died in the hospital on dialysis hating every minute of his life. My mom refused to go to the hospital and died at home in her easy chair. It was hard to watch them both age and get sick. Selfishly, I wanted them to stay, even though they didn’t want to anymore. Dying with dignity should be an option.
My grandparents are in their 80s now and their health has really gone downhill in the last year. On new years weekend my grandma had multiple strokes and had to have surgery to remove the clot from her carotid artery. We all thought she was going to die, including her, and she was ready and accepting of it. She pulled through but now her short term memory is basically shot. My mom is with them at their home in Florida for the next couple of months until my uncle can move down permanently. I've always been close to her (oldest grandchild) and talking to her a couple of days ago it broke my heart that she was referring to herself as a burden. I am saving up my pto so that I can go for a couple weeks if there's a gap in their help or just to go see them. What's weighing really heavily on my heart is that I really don't think she ever wanted to live like this.
Dying with dignity or giving up?
@@rebeccaconlon9743 Believe the commenter typed clearly enough. Dying with dignity should absolutely be an option.
@@rebeccaconlon9743 What a stupid comment. Giving up on what? Living forever?
@@rebeccaconlon9743 Nobody gets out of here alive. By the time someone is in their 80s and diagnosed with a terminal disease, the only thing they have to look forward to is pain and suffering. Why should someone put themselves through a horrific 6 months or a year of agony? To please little old you? When my time comes, I'm ready. I have no intention of dragging out what little time is left after a terminal diagnosis in constant agony and torture. What an awful thing to wish on anyone.
The sad part is you actually see the pain in his face it hurts so much you’re a good man
You are so good portraying the different nurses and pts. They are all true to life stories. Kudos to you!
This reminded me of my mom at the end of her life. She had given up and refused dialysis for long enough that there was no going back. I saw how the nurses and doctors tried so hard to get her to accept that after trying everything to help her but she still refused to follow their recommendations of dialysis and a strict meal plan. I was so angry that she couldn’t accept this time was different and the doctors and nurses even told me to not stress over trying to get her to accept it, to let them be “the bad guy” so our last little time together wasn’t full of anger. They did everything they could to help her but at one point, everyone but her knew she wasn’t going to leave alive yet she insisted it would be like every other time. They still fought for her and gave her a line to her heart to try to control blood pressure which was dropping too low and did everything else they could. Nurses and doctors do an amazing job everyday and often we don’t see it, especially while in these situations. I had traveled from Virginia to Nebraska only to be rushed into a meeting with the palliative care team telling me she was bad and they called me to come down because they knew it was near the end. She lived only another 3 weeks with her final days violently ill from the toxins. The final day she was better and had been in hospice for 3 days. To this day I am grateful to the entire team she had throughout the years but especially at the end.
Why be angry? If she wants to go, let her. It’s not your right to control someone’s death like that.
I worked in hospice…and to hear death bed patients telling their life before the end is one of the most eye opening events anyone can experience.
Maybe write down a biography before you go?
This is one of the best skits ever, thank you for 'Mr.Good bar", who during dialysis found out he had prostate cancer. All he wanted was to go out in peace not lead around or forced to die uncomfortablly
Thanks for this. I couldn't be with my dad when he passed which i feel so guilty of. We were getting ready to visit him when we got the call that he had passed away. I had seen my mom cry from pain....but this cry was so different, and I will never forget it. I couldn't be there for him but I could for her. I promised my mom when it was her time I would be there. When the hospital called and said she only had a few days left, my brother and I brought her home. I got to tell her how much I loved her and how much I was gonna miss her. But she could go and we would be ok. That I would see her again soon. Then she quietly passed away looking at me. She had some of the most wonderful nurses and Drs. Im so grateful to all of them. ❤
Yes I am in fact crying. I have had this patient, and I have been this patient (not quite this far but similar). Well done good sir. We need to strive to remember these are our fathers, mothers, grandparents and even our children we are caring for.
As someone who was told I had weeks to live 23 years ago and made all of my arrangements I know how true this is. At what you think is the end you are in so much pain you don't want to go on. I also completely understand how rare a nurse like Steve is or the luxury of have the time to be that kind of nurse is. The system just isn't built to allow it in most cases. This was so real in ever aspect.
I'm so glad you are still here!
Sweet video, ur such a caring and intelligent guy, with a great sense of humour. I have had crohns disease since childhood, with an illeostomy now, I've spent alot of time in hospital. Nurses like you make the time easier. Much love to all nurses
Oh dear,
I’m so sorry for you.
My youngest son just got diagnosed last month. We actually just got discharged today of the hospital, after spending 6 weeks in. He sadly was very, very sick, and it took him a lot more time to recover, but yet, here we are. He was a freakin trooper. I was over in love with this kid before these last couple months, but I can’t even explain how I feel about this little man, about all the strength, the super well adjusted mindset and thought process, in completely confidence, so resilient, voluntarily accepting to undergo a procedure that will hurt, that will be difficult, because he knows and understands that this is still the best option, that this discomfort and uneasy procedure will do him a lot of good at the end (for ex: he had a central line put in, a piccline, he needed blood transfusions, TPN, Iron, etc.. too much stuff… he definitely recommends it now! I went in with him to support him - being an ex-ICU nurse, I was comfortable to support him and assist to many of the procedures- which points out to patient information, education, and good bounding interactions with patients..). I’ve learned so much about him, about what’s fascinating about him, about all the potential my kiddo has, his infinite curiosity, the speed he devoured information, the speed and edge of his thought, he’s freaking amazing, and that’s I was not and stil am not crying 12h/24h because of the medical condition.
Sure, it’s a bump on the road that we didn’t need (he has autism, moderate ADHD, a rare genetic disorder, called Ehler Danlos syndrome, and now that, plus a cardiac arrhythmia.. the list of appointments is insane, although he’s not followed for anything autism related) , and many many years are to come, but fortunately for him, and he knows he’s fortunate, treatment plans have incredibly improved in the last decade or so, so we hope for the best, but you know what, deep down, I’m not scared for him, on the long term, cause clearly, he’s got this.
Just like you do.
Thank you for reading, if you actually did, if not, that’s also fine.
It was an intense and quite emotional day, and I’m so tired.
This was beautiful. I have a 94 year old grandmother that we all know might not make it till Christmas and it tires me that nobody has the time nor patience to take care of her (recently bedridden). My father told my mother and her siblings years ago to arrange for funeral insurance but they never did. Rn we can't ask her whether she wants to be buried or cremated here in the U.S. or in Mexico next to her husband. I really hope they send her to Mexico but most of my family can't go visit. I'm kinda scared for when the time comes but I know I want to hold her hand at least and tell her I love her. Thank you to all care workers ❤
This one went straight to my heart, reminded me of my Dad and helped me understand more how he must have felt. He went on hospice and left us soon after that. It was what he wanted and we respected that.
I can't tell you how many times it's ripped my heart out to basically see patients being what I call 'treated to death'. They want to go or they have such a low quality of life. It sucks but man when you show them that you still see them as people and just listen, it can be incredible
I'm not sure what role you have in the medical system, but I've seen many staff with enduring trauma from this repeat cycle.
Five years ago, my husband and I stood hand in hand as we asked hospital staff to allow us to stop using our daughter's ventilator. She was 6 1/2 and had been a trach/vent patient for 5 years. During most of that, her life was full of joy and promise and I don't regret the fight to keep her here. At the end, routine tube feeding was collapsing her lungs and IV nutrition wasn't an option.
For us, once quality of life was gone and could not be restored, the choice was obvious. We held her and loved her from this life to the next. We waited long enough to get family photos as a family of 5 with our new baby (my wish) and for her sisters, 8 years and 8 months, to open her Christmas presents to them while she was here. She passed December 10th, 2016.
The sheer number of medical professionals who have thanked me from that astounds me. Across all roles, they see patients being "cared to death", often against their own wishes because family is not ready to give peace from a failing body.
@@tinkeramma I'm a nurse assistant and I do understand not wanting them to die but personally I think suffering via medical treatments can be much worse.
Also wow I cannot imagine how hard that was. Suffering or not, that's your baby. My daughter is 9 and it kills me when I hear of people losing their own children. I have been brought to my knees watching what's happening in Ukraine because I cannot fathom what they're going through and I will never understand how anyone can hurt babies and children
@@alltoohalliwell I have always felt blessed that my sweet girl did not have anyone harm her through negligence or evil. She was born with conditions that should have been impossible to survive, and yet we had so many beautiful years.
The moments are never enough for the people we love with our whole soul, but there is peace in knowing it was just random. My heart is absolutely wrecked for parents in the Ukraine and even civilian parents in Russia right now who are trying to protect their precious babies from the pain of the world. That pain comes from choices made by a select few and ripples across the world.
I wish all the best for you and your little girl. Nine is such an incredible age.
@@tinkeramma thank you and I wish you the best also
Idk why this happens cuz I thought if a pt doesn't want to be treated you involve the ethics team so they can discuss end of life care with them and all of that :/
I did private Hospice care for years. Sometimes you have to let them decide on their own how they wanted to go. It was never OK. It was just letting them have their dignity. You could only make them as comfortable as you could. Let them talk and sometimes just hold their hands so they knew they weren't alone. This video took me back to those days. Tonight I am going to sit down and just cry. Because doing private duty hospice you got really close. Losing them felt like losing family.
It's not just about the going, sometimes it's about the staying. I miss my life. A drive on a Sunday, going out for a walk, cooking more then a frozen meal.
I just commented that I'd like to hear a hospice nurse respond to this. To me, you guys seem to have far more wisdom on natural law, when it comes to death, than most in the modern world.
@@deeterry8549 oh I feel you. I was lucky enough to take Sundays off. You want to know what I did? Every other Sunday it was just me and my kid doing our thing. The other Sundays me and my kid prepped and cooked every meal for 2 weeks. Breakfast, lunch an dinner and I made microwave mixes for coffee mug cakes as a treat instead of snack cakes. Tight food budget. I hated fast food and it was exhausting but it meant my days and nights were easier. I preferred grave yards. Let me spend more time with my daughter and later foster kids. It also made rough days easier too. I could come home heat up our meal set our table and eat act like it was fine no worries. Get her to bed or school crawl in shower and just cry. Usually before I went to bed myself. Sometimes that routine kept me steady. I could count on it when everything else mentally and emotionally was chaos. The longer I cared for a PT the harder it was when they passed. Logically I know it's better for them it was just the holes they left behind that had to be filled with something else to do or someone else to care fore. I started hospice work assisting my grandmother as a teen. I did full time almost 28 years. My Dad dying is what burned me out. After that I only took on friends or family people I knew wanted me, needed me and working side jobs or office work for my company. I couldn't handle pts or clients. I don't know if you get what I mean. By then I was having serious health issues. Wound up selling my share of business to my partner. I had to leave. Sometimes I feel guilty about quitting the field. At same time I know if I didn't I would have eventually shut down completely like just laid down and quit living myself. I went through a lot of counseling during my work years to help deal but it was after leaving felt like I had done something wrong not being there caring for someone. Then I started taking kids in helping them get placed after being kicked out or runaways helping get them in better place besides the streets. The kids I think is what saved my sanity. I wasn't dealing with sickness or death I dealt with life and getting kids safe. Before anybody calls me a saint or a hero I am not. I did it for 2 reasons. 1 It was right thing to do. My God they were just children no real living yet and 2 It let me feel like I was still worth something able to help someone. Sorry rambling but do you get it?
@@sallybalkin8507 we may get it. But it doesn't make it any better. You have to shut down inside. Build a vault place it there lock the door. Then have to wait to open it an unload it all. Sometimes it was easy other times it stayed buried in there and crept out when you don't expect it. It's been over 10 years since I left the field heck closer to 20 actually. Stuff still comes back.
You have me in tears. This reminded me of my grandfather he was also on dialysis two years and one amputation later of the dreaded Tues trip to dialysis, he said no more. He wanted to die. He was tired of everyone controlling his life. He said he didn't even decide when he could pee. My grandma naturally didn't want him gone, but they talked about it and he never returned to the clinic. One week later asleep in bed in his home, he passed away. Dialysis is so hard on the body. People please take care and Merry Christmas.
I’m glad you made this video. You have a big heart young man. Did not realize how stressful your job can be. Glad to see you took the time to help Mr. Goodbar and in turn it helped you also. There are some who don’t need to be in the medical field. Keep up the good work, thank you!!😊
I just know this is based on a real experience you had, Steveioe. I feel so bad for the nurses like you and the pateints like Mr. Goodbar. I feel bad that your overworked, and that patients get tired of fighting. I wish our system would do the things it could to make it better for everyone.
On a side note; your acting skills have imrpoved a lot over the few years, and you really do make us laugh in hard times with your funny videos. You also don't forget to remind us of the reality of working in the ER and the ups and downs. I feel so bad for nurses and doctors and everyone who works in the hospital because of the truama you all endure. I hope soon we can make things better for everyone.
Some of these stories remind me of a story I’ve been told about a relative who died of cancer as a child long before I was born. The family managed to sneak puppies that had been born at home up through the fire escape of the hospital so he could see them in his hospital room. Hopefully it didn’t negatively affect any other patients, but I’m sure it brought him some much-needed smiles.
So true! Sometimes that people that say they don’t care just need someone to show that they do! Thank you. You’re a great actor.
This hit close to home, man. My mom who was dying of pancreatic cancer felt this exact same way. It was rough so thank you, Stevieo. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
I'm a RN, and THIS happens all the time and still makes me so sad. Anyone else got teary-eyed? 😭😭😭
When I heard my mom say something similar it really shook me. Seeing someone who had always been strong say to you they wanted to go, they had no more fight left in them. That rocks you to your core
Everyone only has so much fight in them. Best to just respect their wishes.
Sometimes it's not about fight though, it's about acceptance. Death is a natural part of life, and I see it as she knew and was okay with it. When we fear death, we forget to appreciate life
I'm here now. This made me cry my eyes out. Thank you for sitting with this patient.