Sex Sent Me To The Emergency Room
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ค. 2024
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Remember, kids - high quality sex toys are a lot cheaper than a trip to the ER.
And so is making sure to then after EVERY use either by washing by hand with soap and water, 70% rubbing alcohol or with sex toy cleaner
only in the states :p
not in canada
@@qcvitalsdo we need to start a sex toy smuggling operation for the rest of the world???? How do yall survive
You NEED a flange on the bottom.....not optional!
I love that Austin is canonically is a vibrator expert
What if Austin is trans??🤔
@@Tacodragon361Or he might just be incredibly kinky 😭
@@Tacodragon361why does Austin have to be Trans? Do only trans people use vibrators? He could also bi or gay or… even straight? He could have a lil kinky side or a girlfriend that like to include toys in their playtime. You never know.
@@Tacodragon361 Why does Austin have to be Trans to know about vibrators? Bi, Gay & even… Straight people know about vibrators. He could have a little kinky side to him or even a girl friend that like to add in toys during their playtime. Austin seems to be young and/or new to the job, but he is in the ER, so he’s probably had to remove a few objects and just learned from experience. It doesn’t have to mean he is of any particular sexuality.
@@jamesmarciel5237 Relax, dude. It’s a dumb theory, it’s not like we’re doing some groundbreaking deep dive into a person. It’s a little jokey theory that hurts no one.
Lmao, you know these stories are true on some level.
Nah, you're wrong you silly goose -- all of these are real
Not on some level 😅
Oh they're totally true. On all levels.
Any one who works or has worked in the ER know that this is just a regular day so yeah these more than likely true
Some of them even have an own medical term… they frequently happen…
I felt for the 12 yr old. A guy bumped in to me on a bus when I was 10. I was terrified and near hysterical because I just knew the invisible band of sperm circling men had gotten to me. Which is what you believe when you get told "sperm fertilize eggs," but no one gives any clues of how this actually happens.
Not telling young people how their bodies work is cruel.
Agreed!
I’m sorry that happened to you
Better to be terrified than pregnant! If only more young people thought that way but teen pregnancy rises every year
@@wticheryjust tell your children about sex. just do it. no need to leave them not knowing things, just makes everything worse. SO many teen pregnancies happen because of "pull out game" because no one taught these kids that pulling out doesn't keep you from getting pregnant, no one taught these kids just how fertile they are at their age, it's unbelievable
@@emalinu teen pregnancies rise every year , not many unmarried teen pregnancies in the 50s though! You people are so lost thinking kindergartners need to know about pregnancy and gender theory , nobody knows what "age appropriate" means. Children also very well should not be touching each other on their legs and knees and touching each other intimately, there should be no unsupervised time where that is happening unless it is child neglect worth getting them taken away over. Like all those annoying Facebook reels like here is an actual real example "I gave my 9 year old a tattoo gun and at 12 she died from fentanyl" you can take your tattoo gun hypersexual gender theory dildo fentanyl pregnancy kids and let them roam the streets but don't pretend like it's not related the teen pregnancy rates in USA rise every year 😂
@@wticheryWell, comprehensive sex ed reduces underage pregnancy. It's highest in areas that teach "abstinence-only."
Education goes a long way.
As "Ben" your tone is so passive aggressive 😂 then your true acting skills come out with the "patients". Love it 😂
I don't think you know what "passive aggressive" means.
@chickenlover657 thank you for your opinion, have a lovely day
@@sj01 Get yourself a lovely dictionary.
@@chickenlover657 Thank you for your concern about my lack of literacy! Take care 😊
@@sj01 Literacy is something else. Another reason to get a dictionary. ASAP.
The vacuum cleaner dude XD His explanation has me rolling. It's like he had this story all through on the way to the ER and the fact he said "Good to see you again." Lol can imagine the doctors/nurses all taking bets what wild thing he has done to himself this time.
Either that, or they know each other from outside the ER. Can you imagine having to explain vacuum-dick to a bar-buddy?
The explanation was hilarious 😂
You should google German stories about vacuum cleaners. They are insane! Like one guy got his little friend cut off a bit, because he put it in the vacuum cleaner. But his father thought he was lying and actually was sleeping with other woman behind his wife's back. So the father decided to repeat what his son has done! And, well, his dick got cut off too...
Yeah, the explanation is hilarious but I’m just like come on dude it’s not that difficult. I must vacuum cleaners have a pressure port on the handle so you can just open that break the pressure seal and pull out. Failing that you could also disassemble the vacuum cleaner or prick a small easily fixable hole into the hose. Regardless, if you can’t figure out how to free yourself, you’re a total idiot.
Former ER tech. You'd be surprised how often ppl get there genitals caught in the vacuum "accidentally" while "cleaning naked" that or the shampoo bottle stuck inside them from "slipping in the shower" We have seen it all. And yeah... we did take bets on some our regulars .
That poor little girl!!! You just know that story was true. At 12 she's old enough to be given a better explaination.
This is America. In large parts of the country, especially in more conservative states, if the parents could get away with never talking about sex education, they would.
I agree, it’s sad to know there are people who don’t teach their kids the simplest basics of where babies come from.
I honestly don’t remember a time when I didn’t know where babies come from. My mom taught me everything in age appropriate ways in every phase of my life. I also went to school in places where reproductive education was mandatory.
None of it ever made me feel like I should go out and have sex. If anything it made me wait until I was older. It also kept me from getting pregnant for a long time and kept me from getting any STI’s. (I did get pregnant unexpectedly because my birth control failed, but I was in my mid 20’s and the person I got pregnant with was my fiancé. Not what I had planned but it could have been so much worse if I didn’t know the basics of protecting myself.)
I hope my kids will wait to have sex. However, I’m a realist and I’d rather they have all the info they need to stay safe, healthy and come to me for help, when they decide to take that step, married or not.
Growing up in the UK in the late 80s there was no sex Ed. My friend and I were flashed at 12 and I'd never seen a naked guyI assumed it was fake
You're not wrong, Tarsha!
I was 8 when I got "the talk". My mom was awesome about making sure I was educated properly!
I followed her example and educated my kids as soon as they were old enough to understand; before they started puberty. I even had the benefit of my college textbooks (you'd be amazed how well a child can follow that material, if guided) and the internet.
My eldest is a young adult now, and my youngest is a teenager. I have no worries about unexpectedly becoming a grandmother.
@@tondriasanders6306Comprehensive sex ed has been proven to lower unwanted pregnancy rates & STIs, for exactly the reasons it worked for you.
Education saves lives, and I'm appalled that some people out there oppose it.
At least the mom immediately realized it was a mistake and didn't try to defend it.
Yes, just because you're concerned about a potential underage pregnancy you shouldn't lie, instilling fear into an otherwise gullible child. We need more mothers like that one out there, who will realize and admit when they made a mistake.
Agreed. That was actually much more of a wholesome ending than I anticipated. Sucks the kid had to be scared so badly. Great that she had the awareness still to go to the ER and mom had the awareness to recognize her fault so both mom and hospital staff can maybe explain things a lot better and in a more informative way.
At least mom didn't actually BELIEVE that bcs some do!!!
The one with the kid freaking out she was pregnant because her knee got touched took me back to when I was something like 10 or 11 and was visiting my grandma. She was watching her soap operas and one of the women on the show was in the hospital. Out of the blue, my grandma tells me that if a boy touches me I'll end up in the hospital like that. Needless to say, when playing tag and got tagged on the arm, I freaked. At least my Mom clarified things for me, and I considered it my introduction to 'yeah...grandma's got issues'.
I had a friend who kissed her wall once and she thought she got pregnant by her wall because she gained some weight
@@thelorax-jn4rw WALL BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Sex education is important folks. If the parents aren't going to initiate a conversation and tell their kids the truth, it's better that the schools at least go over the basics.
Yup. I was lucky my school actually handled things decently well, cause heaven knows my mom didn’t tell me ANYTHING. Period (including about those…)
Agreed!
As long as they don’t do the thing where they segregate boys and girls so no one knows anything about the opposite sex. I could see how it might be more comfortable to have boys and girls taught separately, but they should all be learning everything.
I agree. I made it a point to teach my kids everything they wanted to know, and a good deal they didn't know they wanted to know. And I STILL want the schools to teach them sex ed, just in case I missed anything.
Besides, we live in the South. I KNOW my family very much the exception rather than the rule here.
@@MusikGirl23 I gotta ask... what happened when you hit menarche (the first period in a girl's life)? I've heard stories about girls freaking out, thinking they're dying, etc.
Me... I was ready for the blood, but the pain had been understated. I guess Mom didn't wanna scare me.
The "No." at the end of the last one. That said it all. Ben was done. Period.
Surgery? What did she do, Shove it into her uterus?
hah period
A silent vacuum cleaner. I want one. It sounds like a unicorn
My supposedly exclusive partner showed up to see me and had a rash that he claimed was from jogging a lot. I ended up with a mysterious rash after and when I was in the Dr's office for it and he told me that I had chlamydia from my partner. I actually contradicted him and said no, that it couldn't be and that he had jogger's itch. The Dr gave me this intense look that innocent me could not understand.
Decades later the penny dropped lol.
Decades? Wow.
Good story though.
He had an itch alright.
@@judycroteau482 LOL!! Yup! and I was too naive to see it
So can they only happen if your partner cheats? Bc my boyfriend and I are both virgins but have done oral (unprotected because we thought it was highly unlikely for either of us to have an std because we’re both virgins and neither of us was born with one or had anything like Herpes) and I don’t wanna get an std 😭 so are we all good if he doesn’t cheat on me or could one/both of us still get an std somehow?
@@Ice.muffin Oh, yeah, decades because I trusted him and put it out of my mind. It was over 20 years later when I was thinking about patterns of behaviour that I started seeing that there were multiple obvious signs that I ignored.
Austin is the nurse everyone needs.
My soda made a fizzing noise right during the part with the vacuum. I thought he was still attached to the vacuum!
If it was a Kirby, some part of him may still be attached to the vacuum. 😁
"You have cervicitis" "I KNEW IT, I WANT HIM TESTED TOO!"
If you done something naughty that landed you in the ER just say what it is
The embarrassing part is that you are there because of it so feel ashamed get treated and go back home
Your pfp fits perfectly with the video 😂
It SO shouldn't be seen as so "embarrassing", the stigma folks like you INSIST on keeping on the topic is what makes people lie and lie and lie and hide and invent all these bullshit stories no one wants to hear. Just ducking say it as it is, staff won't even care (much). We're too used to seeing all kinda shit, anything you bring on the table is not new or sensational in any way. Just a big waste of time we don't have and an insult to anyone's intelligence.
@@Gimothecat lol
My Dad told a story of a guy in the Army with him in the 1950s who dipped his wick in bleach to try to cure an STD.... the old ideas never change!!
"get agent cleancock down here, hes the only one who can do it!"
I love how the mom of the 12 year old just accepted that she made a mistake and instead of going off on him, she actually agreed and took out the time to explain things to her daughter
I know those are true! Worked at a clinic for awhile and experienced similar! Thanks for the laugh and reminder.
Oh there's worse. Which doesn't even reach the ER, but the morgue.
You have to remove enough carrots, you get to answer a lot of questions about vibrators 😂
I love the TV remote 'phones'. I love these videos. I look forward to them.
It started with the vacuum guy I was like "that's a lie," then the little girl who's mom LIED TO HER KID. Lies, lies and more lies! Why do people feel the need to lie to hospital? Just be honest it'll help you out in the long run and you won't end up on this channel for us to laugh at you lying butt.
And even if it does, HIPPA (In the USA) makes sure that nobody will ever know that it's you.
Ben’s entire vibe 😂
He was born exasperated, over it and passive aggressive.
I feel you, Ben. I feel you.😊
Ben is my favorite. We have so much in common 😂😂🤣
that last "no," he's so tired😭😭🤣🤣
Remember folks, rule no. 1: Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics/ER doctors.
Rule no. 2: Don't try and cover it up with easy to read lies. We just want to know what the problem is so that we can fix it. We don't need a full "history" of events as to how it got that way.
Exactly I've tried sum crazy shit
BEN apparently has seen some shit. xD
Austin has some secrets I see. Good for him, have a little fun in life.
ben is officially my new favorite character
The “No” at the end was so satisfying.
Love how Austin is using a remote as phone.
USB, you say? No batteries, no cords......hmmmmmm
Rechargeable sex toys are totally the way to go.
Best. Investment. Ever.
100% worth it. I recommend the Lovense Nora. For no particular reason. Ahem.
I look forward to these lmao
As vaccuum guy said, "Happy to see you again!" XD
Hooked and priest spraying Clorox down there 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Austin he now scares me of his knowledge of personal satisfaction devices 🤔
Best part of radiology 🤣
I want one of those silent vacuum cleaners, anyone have a link?
These stories are unbelievable and HILARIOUS 😂😂😂😂
Now we need to see the guy who stuck something “up there” who insists it was an accident 😂
Not him using t.v remote as phone😂😂😂😂
Ah yes, not telling people how to avoid getting pregnant! What a great way to avoid people getting pregnant!
Lmfao! I’m not even one minute in and bamm! I’m laughing hard!
0:47 Austin random info though🤣💀 He understood but his wife wouldn't, let it go until he did it 5:11🤣
For the second one, I would have said I tried to vacuum the sweat off my balls 🤣🤣🤣
Where's my Favorite Clip about the elderly lady who sold her colostomy opening for sex? These are all great, too, BTW! 💙😂
Philadelphia sidecar 😮
Oh no, she managed to get it all the way up into her uterus?!?! 😨
Specifically referring to the first clip, the one with the lost vibrator
Not the only possibility.
Poor kiddo. Kinda get why the mom went over-the-top but like... yikes.
Vacuum cleaner guy, I would have claimed it was so hot, that less I took my clothes off and still couldn't get cooled off and passed out from heat exhaustion 😂
He certainly came to grief!
Austin, what have you been doing in your off time?😌😉
I am so sick of parents giving their kids inaccurate sex Ed it doesn’t stop people from getting pregnant it makes it more likely just be honest with them in an age appropriate way.
A boy touched my knee got me on the floor💀💀💀
😂😂😂 the face man
Look, anyone who lies to medical staff is an idiot. Anyone who lies to a lawyer is a monster.
My dude you need your own comedy show at this point. You have such hilarious content 😂
Vacuum cleaner story 😂😂😂😂I just can't 😮😅 accidentally slipped 😂😂😂
So much funnier than the person who told me not to try that from "personal experience. " yeah, that one's a thing.
Vibrator specs, good to know... Thanks! 😂😂😂😂
"I didn't know vibrators could last that long."
Blame, or thank, the Energizer Bunny 🐇😂😂
Lmao...he's talking on the phone....I mean remote control!!!
How does this not have a million views! I love this and your other videos I saw. Saving my life actually.
Nice compilation lol
Sir you really need to consider doing some shows down here in Australia 🇦🇺. I know alot of Doctors and Nurses who love your channel.
Ah yes keep talking im almost finished
Here's mine: was SUPER sick and landed in a small rural ER, then rushed to the hospital in the city via ambulance. Thought I had horrific case of strep or mono or something because my throat felt like sandpaper every time I tried to swallow and I had a fever of 104.
Ended up being cellulitis in my neck from a hickey 😅 it was swelling shut my throat and nearly my airway by the time I got help. I had stayed the night at my partner's a few days before I started getting sick, and didn't put 2 and 2 together until being discharged from the hospital a couple days after arriving. Dr was like, "Oohhh... yep, thats very likely what caused it!" when I asked if it was possible. Human mouths are filthy 😣
😂😂😂😂😂
Ben is just DONE…..
His face when he says “well, the dr will see you soon” 😂
my heart stopped when you said “I sprayed Clorox on it”
1:20 The moment the guy said vacuum, I knew where this was going.
Guys, please don't fuck your vacuums... -without getting the vacuum's consent first- 🤣
“Why do you know all this?”
“The ER’s not my *whole* life you know.”
I love how you’re using the remote control as your phone.😂
The excuses people come up with for their "accidental" incidents LOLOL Just be honest with the nurses, they've seen/heard worse!
Though I really can't tell you how hard it must be for the ER staff to run into issues like some of these. Bless these people for their patience and kindness, even in the most difficult of times. Y'all are the real MVPs.
That being said, I have gone to the doctor for stuff and they've run tests that weren't necessary because they didn't believe me lol. I get it! There are tons of people that fabricate stuff, but it can be really frustrating and disheartening for people like me who are telling the truth and being upfront and honest with their doctors to experience these things.
Either way, these skits are always so on point!!!
I recently found out I have osteopenia (my score is almost to osteoporosis) and I am at high risk for a hip fracture. So, I started making the joke that I'm going to end up on "sex sent me to the ER" lol
The priest one, i-
Best sex in the ER story. Back in the 80's, when waterbeds were popular, a guy and his wife were working up to hanky panky. He comes out of another room in some costume, makes a flying leap onto the bed, and slams his erect manhood on the wood frame of the bed, breaking his manhood. Yes, it can be considered broken if it ruptures, even without a bone in it. He lost a large quantity of blood when he tore his urethra and because he was at salute, there was a lot of blood in the area. He had to have a suprapubic catheter placed for urine and underwent several surgeries to fix his member. Landed him several days in the ICU.
Poor man!
Yes, a fractured penis is a real thing, and devastatingly painful.
Very sad.
Mr Storytime in the second one is 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂 this is the funniest thing ever!
That was hilarious 😂❤
That one about getting touched on the knee... that's just insane. If you really want to make sure a repeat doesn't happen, educate. Don't make up some batshit crazy lie. If you lie, when it invariably happens, they'll have no idea wtf is going on.
Like how does she think it's spread then?. By only one person having it. What? How? That's how it happens omg.
"My other young daughter is pregnant so I decided to spread misinformation to my other one" ffs
LoL the phone is the remote control.
One of my favorites!
If i ever came across a girl that had her parents tell her that she will get pregnant if a boy touches her, or some other ridiculous thing like that, i woukd just tell her that her parents lied to her, and hopefully the girl's parents would be there to hear me say it, so that i couod tell the patients, that this is how kids dont grow up to be normal and get confused about what really goes on as an adult.
I love your videos! Thank you!❤🎉😊
I worked in a woman’s clinic when a 12 yo came in for a pregnancy test and was positive. A year later she was pregnant again. Social services made a lot of promises.
Inexcusable for CPS to fail. Horrible.
I had the power to change it to 1K. 👊🏽
Comedy is a much safer option. No crazy stories there.
It's crazy how many people at this hospital look like the same person!
"Good to see you again" is insane...
Just tell her yes leave the room and then when you come back an hour later just tell her the same results.
Remote control as a phone. 😂
I love this guy😂❤
We all love Austin. Lol
OMG, 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂, that reminds me of a girl in my highschool who lost a hotdog the same way. No one knew who she was, it was just talked about, everyone was trying the process of elimination looking at all who were out of school for a bit.
“It burns when I pee”
“That doesn’t mean I gave you an STD!”
“I SAID SHUT UP 👹” 😂😂😂😂
Love the last one.....
Sounds like a good commercial
Prob more true than he can say lol
Now i know y Dr House hates clinic duty. 😂😂😂
My favorite will always be the Pikachu one 😆.
This is one of those situations where it's 20% fabrication and 80% of the truth and there isn't a nurse or ER Tech on the planet, who hasn't heard something just as weird or worse