I have a friend who's ftm trans, and he has specifically told me before that he's afraid to dress even remotely feminine because he doesn't want to be attacked for being a "transtrender". Let that sink in.
@@vi-jm7wg it's more of a concept than an actual thing that happens, but a "transtrender" is (on paper) a trans person without dysphoria, and in parts of the trans community it is an extremely divisive issue on whether gender dysphoria makes you trans or not. however, many people such as kalvin garah simply assume some trans people do not have dysphoria, on account of them usually being nonbinary, gender non-conforming/androgynous, not medically transitioning, or using neopronouns such as xe/xem. generally the term is more used as a way to justify bullying than anything else and pretty much no one transitions because it's "trendy". being trans is very hard but, the way i see it, you shouldn't base your identity off your own misery because that just hurts you and the people around you. sorry this got so long i hope i answered your question
TW: suicide Kalvin was completely gaslighting his audience in regards to that person who tried to kill them self so in turn damaging the person he bullied all over again.
There is a stark difference between “You are not responsible for someone’s happiness” and “Exposing people to a larger more hostile audience where you have spent the entire time invalidating them and some how thinking your audience won’t do the same”
It’s literally just internalized transphobia they’ve carried with themselves; it seems that they seek validation of some sort from the same people who have hurt them. It’s definitely pretty sad
I’m like this but idk what I can do to change, I have a lot of internalized transphobia and I tend to project it onto others but it makes me feel like a really shitty person. I wanna learn how to respect and accept everyone but I’m scared that if I do people are gonna invalidate me or think lesser of me but I genuinely want to change for the better.
Sam Builes i've found the best way to get over internalized transphobia is to reach out to other trans people, learn about how their experience may differ from yours, and understand that not all trans people feel gender dysphoria and gender euphoria in the same way! also just getting more comfortable with your own gender identity helps a lot
Joseph Switzer yeah you’re right, I’m comfortable with myself and I have a couple trans friends but we don’t often talk about trans topics cause I guess I don’t like talking about being trans so we don’t really interact like that
I used to watch Kalvin a lot. I shared a lot of the same ideas and views that he did and it really impacted the way I saw myself and how I saw others. I would actually get physically mad about "trenders" and would constantly talk about how people without dysphoria aren't trans; they're harming the trans community, stuff like that. I would see kids at my school with blue hair and roll my eyes. I never openly called anyone a trender or invalid, but that's not the point. It impacted the way I saw people, it impacted the way I TREATED people. For some reason, someone who didn't experience the same amount of dysphoria as I did, suddenly wasn't valid. But it didn't stop with other people, it changed the way I saw myself too. I would constantly worry about not being trans "enough", not presenting masculine "enough", and experiencing "enough" dysphoria. For the first time in my life, I was worried that I was seeing myself wrong. I constantly doubted myself and constantly worried about how people like Kalvin would perceive me. As if he was the person I had to go to to prove to myself I was "valid". I thought if you weren't transmed, you weren't trans and deserved the backlash you got for it. I feel awful for ever thinking like this, again I never went out of my way to tell someone they weren't trans, but it was just the way my head space had changed. I became so insecure and I hated myself for being trans and trans people in general. I'm not blaming Kalvin for this because ultimately it was me who brought myself to that spot, but I know that those videos helped me get there. I still have thoughts like that to this day and I hate it. I just want to be able to accept myself and others without needing "proof of identity". No one deserves to be harassed or bullied for just openly being themselves. Ever
I also watched him alot. Im a cis woman, and watched him to see how a trans individual would react to people that dont try to pass. I didnt understand, and still don't to the fullest extent, what being trans is. I now can't stand the sound of his voice, and unsubbed after the whole suicide thing. Im disgusted by him
I think we really should talk more about the intensity of gender dysphoria. It's a concept many won't seem to ever consider, rather people think gender dysphoria is an on-off experience, and everyone having dysphoria sharing similar struggles. Anyhow, based on my personal experience, as well as experience of other nb folks, today I think gender dysphoria indeed is a very subjective thing. I have a feeling that binary trans women and trans men tend to experience the most intense, unbearable dysphoria. While nonbinary trans people are somewhere in between cis people ("zero experience of dysphoria") and binary trans people ("maximum experience of dysphoria"). We might notice the dysphoria and it always bugs here on the back of your mind, but for whatever reason that experience just isn't so unbearable to you that you needed (or wanted) everything changed medically. I kind of understand how binary trans people can see this experience as a threat. But I don't think anyone's experience should (or could) be silenced. Instead of bullying nb folks into silence, I think we need to discuss more about the differences (and similarities) between binary and nonbinary trans people. We need to educate people more on these two existing groups of trans people, to make a space for everyone to exist.
I respect you so much for sharing this experience. It is difficult owning up to our faults and mistakes, I myself use to watch his videos some point in the past. Ppl have a great influence on each other's minds, and this type of structure and negative mindset can become easily consumable. It's great that you're aware of the toxic ways now, that you can learn from that past, and grow from it. We're all learning and we are also growing. It takes time, and good support system, which u have right here with us :3
He isn't bashing others hes just bringing attention to the people who don't make any logical sense when it comes to the trans community. And yea he makes rude comments or sensitive comments but these people are also giving out false information about trans people which makes anyone mad. Its like when someone spreads rumors about you that aren't true. you'd get heated id assume and angry as he was in his videos
@@briellecarter9853 you realize he's spreading false info in his videos as well right. He legit called someone who's a CSA survior a pedophile. That's beyond fucked up, and nothing he's ever said will actually help the trans community, because cishets will never fully accept us. Expeccially not if we're constantly tearing each other down and cyberbullying people til they attempt on their fucking lives.
Finn Christian hey I didn’t even see you responded to this but i said this in a previous comment, I have since pushed myself away from kalvin and realized his very toxic and hurtful opinions for the trans community. I myself am cis gender and since kalvin was the only person I watched I believed everything he said blindly. I still, and will always listen to trans people, their experiences, what they feel is hurtful to their community, and more. That includes understanding kalvin is hurtful to the community too. Please know anything I’ve said about kalvin before this date I no longer agree with or support! I’m lucky enough to have opened my eyes to see the problem with him and I will continue to do so in the future. Much love~
Pinkisten also know What you were saying is 100% true and I don’t want you to feel like I was ignoring what you were saying! I wish I could go back and never get into kalvin like I did but here we are😀🧍♀️
I used to watch Kalvin before he started to harass people online. If you watch a few of his older videos, he actually seems like a pretty nice person. Interestingly, he even mentioned in one of his videos that he liked being trans overall despite his dysphoria. Looking at his twitter now, he despises being trans and being associated with the community he used to feel connected to. Soon after he started T, got top surgery, gained some confidence and followers, it felt like he just forgot where he came from. It's as if the minute he gained cis-passing privilege + a larger platform, he turned into this arrogant, entitled cyberbully. He's the perfect example for the "I'm not like other trans people" narrative. It is easier to hide from oppression when one deliberately turns against their own community and takes part in the bullying of people who do not conform to their oppressors' expectations. In this case, these are non-binary folks + GNC trans men and women. And even though I understand why people like Kalvin and Blaire do this, I simply cannot condone their actions and how much harm they cause. Especially to minors. Especially to teenagers questioning themselves. Especially to those struggling with mental illnesses. Especially to people with autism. It's interesting, how we who criticize them are deemed too sensitive, while everything they do is driven by their emotions, their self-hate, their internalized transphobia. I hope this new wave of supporting transmedicalism (+borderline terf rhetoric) and bullying, in general, will subdue over time. I just wish there were more creators like you to stand up against them. PS: I'm really glad I found your channel (I guess twitter is still good for a few things). You're very intelligent and creative, and I'm looking forward to see more of your videos! (and I know that everyone has mentioned this before but. your voice is amazing.)
TW- "You can never blame someone else for trying to kill yourself..." This line hurt the most, I think. I have a friend very near and dear to me who was constantly harrassed in middle and high school for being LGBTQ. We live in a very VERY small southern conservative place, so you can imagine how bad we all had it. They really tried their best to push through, but they couldn't take it anymore. After months of suffering they almost died. How can he say "you can't blame others" when they would have never had attempted if it weren't for the harrassment. I almost lost one of my best friends to people "just stating their opinions". Kalvin fucking disgusts me. I can't believe he is allowed to have a fucking platform.
I still can't believe that I used to watch his content. Him and Blair basically turned me into a terf at age 12. But as soon as I stopped watching them I came out as a nonbinary guy. Kalvin was toxic at best. Abusive with his power at worst. And many people payed the price. Except for kalvin which pisses me off. Many people were traumatized by him. Hell he made me question my own identity and made me think that my dysphoria was just BD. He made a lot of people feel like absolute shit about themselves. Fuck sakes
Its absolutely wild to me how people will essentially say "I'm to *bad ass* to care about your feelings" and then be mcfucking shocked when someone acts on those hurt feelings.
I had to stop watching kalvin cause he honestly made me feel bad about myself to the point that I felt like I had to wear binders for unhealthy amounts to be valid/actually trans
He didn't say that, binding is for presenting yourself as a male and mitigate dysphoria, binding all is not the same as being trans, he never said that. He even i think in video said he was doing that befor top but it's not healthy.
When I was beginning to question my gender identity 4 years ago, I came to the conclusion that I was gender fluid. I experience social and physical dysphoria. I watched Kalvin Garrah’s videos and saw him shitting on people that were like me and that made me scared of being called a transtrender and invalidated. I had even received shit from people in my comments saying that if I wore a dress and makeup, I wasn’t really trans. I ended up trying to fit into a binary gender expression that made me just as unhappy as living as a girl, for almost 3 years. I was then manipulated into detransitioning by an ex. Not only was I trying to live as a girl, something I don’t identify as, I was scared of being called a fake. Now I’m presenting and identifying as NB and I’m happier. But I still get scared that my identity as a non-binary person is not valid. I don’t watch his vids anymore but his toxicity has stayed with me. I am still scared to be myself. It’s bad enough to receive hate and rejection from cis people, even worse when it’s from your fellow trans people.
God I’m so ashamed that I used to watch him. I hate that I shared any of his horrible views. I’m glad that I educated myself, but it’s really easy for young transmasc guys to be sucked in by this stuff.
saying "you're not a trans man because you present feminine" is like saying to a cis guy "youre a trans female because you present feminine" my guy...gender expression has nothing to do with gender identity. me as a nonbinary folk, it took me a long time to realize that because of Kalvin and Blaire White.
So let me get this straight: What Kalvin's basically saying is that since you're on the internet, it's his right to say whatever he wants about you. And it's your fault if you get offended and/or hurt by what he says. Is that what bullies say now to defend themselves? That it's their right to bully others? Wow. Just wow. Oh and korviday I genuinely think I have a crush on you. Send help pls.
Thank god someone finally spoke about it, I wanted to talk about it myself but I have voice dysphoria and couldn't bring myself to do it ❤️ thank you so much for bringing this issue up.
Kalvin introduced me to a lot of really harmful “opinions” that I actually believed for a while. Knowing that I thought that way scares me, because just reading “ace discourse” comments makes me feel worthless and dead inside, and I can’t imagine what being the target of something a hundred times worse would feel like. I’m so frickin thankful that I’ve been able to learn more and recognize that (1. I was completely wrong, and (2. I don’t have a say in any of this because I’m cis. “Just because I don’t understand French doesn’t mean that the language doesn’t exist” perfectly summarizes my current views on the genders and sexualities that I do not personally experience.
I didn't know who Kalvin was, but I have seen quite a few videos from Blaire White, a trans girl who shares similar opinions on "Transtrenders" Kat Blaque's perspective of them was particularly interesting: She thinks they strive so much to pass, and that any trans person who doesn't conform to traditional gender presentation is somehow going to shed a bad light on them and the other "real trans", so they do their best to disassociate from them and ridicule them. (Go check her out if you're interested she's awesome) I'm not trans, but I'm gay and this kinda feels like when some gays complain about overly femme guys and that they end up making the whole community look bad to the straights. I'm not saying people like Kalvin and Blaire aren't doing any harm. But in a way even they are victims of the society we live in (I know, we live in a society), they're so afraid of the straight's judgment that rather than become victims they turn on their own communities and become bullies themselves.
I have identified as non-binary for a really long time and I was truly at one of my lowest points when watching Kalvin's videos. I've always been a lot more masc aligned (AFAB), wishing I could have top and bottom surgery and go on T. However my intense fear of surgery and needles it's literally impossible for me. He made me feel like I was less than as a person because of my fears, made me totally disregard anything I did previously that was feminine to fit this toxic standard he created. He made me so self-conscious about everything and I can't fathom how he doesn't see how the things he says has consequences.
He never said that, he said hes pro body positivity, he even promotes not having sugery if you can. I mean blaire have male genitals, and she's 100% woman in his eyes.
I wish I saw this last year. (I didn't know I was trans until the beginning of 2020.) I'm a trans guy that used to watch a lot of Kalvin's videos. I used to agree 100% with him. Then I decided to watch Brennen's breaking my silence video (early this year) and started realizing I was wrong. The day after I found Moe's video about Kalvin. I wish I'd never got into the transmed stuff. Thanks for this video even though it's a little old.
I legit groaned when I saw Kalvin Garrah and his name. Edit: I just saw the warning....What did he do.... I thought he was just someone who hates anyone who doesn’t pass or is nonbinary. Second edit: I’m reading the comments...oh no.
yeah i remember watching him when i was like 13 and had just figured my gender out. i felt bad about still liking to dress femininely and hated myself more for the way i expressed myself. let me just say that feminine does NOT equal female. dress how you want, be what you want. i love you all
I used to support him. I'm happy to say that I don't support him or agree with him. I now identify as nonbinary and I still struggle with accepting myself because of him. I do keep getting better at it and I've accepted who I am. I never went to harass any people he made videos on, because I don't want to be mean.
The way he handled that person trying to hurt themselves to the point of hospitalization was not good at all. He said “it wasn’t bad I wasn’t being mean” but you never know how that person will perceive that situation. Sometimes, they believe the situation to have happened differently or they’re just generally more sensitive. Plus, they probably were not in a good mental state to come to the conclusion that it wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously while his fans were harassing them.
states that you cant blame someone for and su/c/d/ attempt, but proceeds to blame others for his gender dysphoria & the transphobia he experiences. okay, that totally checks out /s
I have been a subscriber of kalvins for a while and have seen these videos. I clicked on yours on a whim and have to say, I actually agree with you. Thankyou for the enlightenment mate. Lots of love.
i used to like him until I finally accepted myself as trans and realized how much his views of what trans means was hurting me. thought i needed to pass 100% to be trans but soon realized i ain't gotta pass as male 24/7 I'm still valid when i wear sports bras instead of binders or want long hair over my short hair.
This video completely changed my view on all this, thank you so much for making it. I am ftm, so I usually felt a little disheartened when people identified as male and outright refused transitioning or dressing the part. Though, your statement that human experience is so complex beyond our comprehension, made me change how I viewed this. I think everyone should do what they deem necessary to feel comfortable and happy as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. I appreciate you opening my eyes. This is a great video, Kalvin instilled hateful views into me and I couldn’t think any other way until I saw this so I appreciate it.
I used to watch his videos all the time when I was younger. it made me low-key transphobic. I have since come out as demigirl (it just makes me feel more valid and puts a label on my relationship with my gender. a lot of people try to argue it isn't a real identity but I don't fucking care I feel valid) and looking back I was a terrible person. I would go on rants on quotev as to why genderfluid and nonbinary people aren't valid. his videos very poorly effected how I acted. I'm proud to say I've learned and grown since (I literally identify as a demigender. I've come a long way). everyone is valid. no matter what some 12 year old or some gatekeeping asshole tries to tell you.
I actually gagged at the shit Kalvin said about suicide. Literally saying "it's nobodies fault but yours you made that decision" is so fucking terrible. Does he have no idea how it feels to be hopeless and like the world hates you. It's fucking disgusting and shows that he isn't thinking his actions through or putting any thought into anyone else's feelings.
Any time someone with a large online following decides that they have no responsibility to their platform, zero responsibility for the outcomes that inevitably come from what they say and do, it makes my blood boil.
“Was it a serious attempt or not?” Kalvin, every suicide attempt is serious. Just the thought of making an attempt is serious… Implying that it’s only serious if they were hurt by, or worse, successful in their attempt is so wrong. :(
@@jasperw.7930 suicide for attention is sick. Car accidents for attention is crazy, makes you look like a dumbass, and you lose a car. Big difference there pal
@@HighBarReviews if they're killing themselves for attention then that's still incredibly serious. If they're going to the lengths of taking their life for attention, obviously it's a problem. It doesn't matter the reason, suicide is always serious.
@@oliver3202 i think you have misunderstood! I think they were referring that the phrase "I'm trans so I have the authority." Shows how ignorant Kalvin really is. I'm not them tho, so idk. Have a nice day anyways!
I didn't remember he was this fucking manipulative. I'm disgusted by the fact that I used to watch him (I was like 13-14 but still, I should've known better)
The least he could have done was tell his fans “hey, driving someone to attempt suicide isn’t very cash money of you” but he couldn’t even do that, he just made the entire thing about himself. Just, fuck off Kalvin, honestly!
I strongly disagree with his reaction and his statements made, but I do agree that it’s unfair to put the sole blame of a suicide attempt or self harm on one person. There is always more than one factor involved in a situation like that. And I think Kalvin absolutely contributed to that but it’s unjustified in my opinion to say that it’s his fault or that he’s the only reason
I feel like Kalvin is the type of guy to support cis men wearing makeup but the second he sees a trans man wearing concealer or something hell call them a "transtrender"
@Randall Paquet i don't have money for it, but even if i did i touch my face constantly so it would be a bad idea and I have other friends who don't wear makeup either. Despite that I think you have a point. The under 30 crowd of all genders are more open to wearing makeup.
except he does, kinda. in his videos before he's shown support towards trans guys who pass wearing make up, but not those who don't. which is so fucking stupid
I watch and still do watch Kalvin Garah but after watching this video and reading some of the comments I burst into tears. I hadnt realized how much he had caused me to question my gender and push me further in my verbal dysphoria to the point that my head is telling me "boys dont cry" anytime I feel hurt or say "boys dont wear girly things, or what are you a girl". It basically broke me down and watching more and more of his "trender" videos changed my view on people expecially people who would express themselves in dress differently and said that they were trans. People have different experiences. And im suprised how much an "opinion" has caused me to force myself to be cis because "I dont fit" in the "trans norms".
The whole "truscum" phase I had made me question myself constantly. I'm so glad I got over it hdjcjd Like I knew I wanted to be a man, and it felt weird when people referred to me as a girl (still does oof), and... *oh shit I thought about painting my nails a color that isn't black oh fuck I guess I am a girl*
@@gygyuri2194 hey, thank you for sharing and I'm not trans, but eh paint them nails and wear those colors, there are a lot of feminine presenting men out there, who are still perfectly male. Do what feels right and be wary to stay away from content that makes you question or start to be hard on yourself
i was questioning if i was non binary at the time i started watching him and he made me push that thought out the door. i'm still not entirely sure what fuckin gender i am but he damaged my perception a lot
This is what pisses me off; if someone is being cringy but they are not hurting anyone, mind your own damn business and move on. Let them be happy. Moral: don't be Kalvin
@@aarontheperson6867 as any furry who suffers from bad feelings because others think all furries are cringy delusional sexual deviants or the assumption everyone who is into xyz is going to be into it at an "i am so embarrassed to be affiliated with these folks"
Literally everything in his “apology” is wrong lmao. He’s thinking legally, not ethically or emotionally. And there is zero accountability or self reflection. Wtf is wrong with him
I think he looks at everything legally cause he is a pre-law student so that's mainly what he knows and just goes off of what hes learned to represent his opinions and thoughts
His apology is super manipulative because he’s trying to act like an opinion is a sacred right - people would lie about suicide because they don’t like his opinion, and rather than self-reflect and consider “hey what if this person isn’t lying? Why might people blame me for holding this ‘opinion’ and expressing it in a hateful enough way that my followers might think that telling someone to kill themself is acceptable? How can I improve myself as a person?” He just makes more manipulative bs that probably would result in at least some people harassing Brennan again asking for “proof” they’ll never ever accept because they don’t want to be wrong. What’s wrong with him is that he refuses to consider anything might be wrong with him.
He's 19, self centered, and arrogant lol Don't expect too much. In about 10 years maybe he'll learn something about empathy we can hope. I know from my own life, I had to grow up a lot - wasn't a perfect human being by any means, was cut down and destroyed many times to come back as a better version of myself. Unfortunately he just has a large audience of emotionally stunted people like himself. They all need to grow up, and hopefully do some self reflection - can only happen when they get hit with the hard waves though so hope for some hardships so they can grow some compassion.
Off-topic: You make me believe that David Bowie has been reincarnated. On-topic: Kalvin's biggest fear is probably being invalidated, so he targets people who deviate from his narrative and sics his fans on them. It's heartbreaking to watch the marginalised eat other marginalised.
@Max Whiteley That's fair. Though I've seen evidence that he only recently started telling his followers not to attack those he calls out for failing to meet his standards as the unofficial gatekeeper of the trans community. I'm your basic cishet bitch myself, so I can't speak from experience, but it seems to me as if there's an alchemical process to gender expression/ identity, and the transition period is longer and more complex for some than it is for others. Even if the ultimate goal is "passing" - which it may or may not be; some people may present as one gender while considering themselves fluid, or choose to present as one gender while still identifying as its opposite - to tear down someone who hasn't reached that leg of the journey because they have a side quest, so to speak, is cruel and reductive. Kalvin isn't a doctor, scientist, or psychologist who specialises in issues of gender or sexuality, so his authority on what constitutes "really trans" has a pretty low market value, and it would be in his best interest to let that sink in.
dw kalvin only responds to small accounts who don't have experience in debating, defending themselves, or elaborating their thoughts. Mostly children or people too nice to attack him back
Gothfruits had a large fan base (i don’t know for sure but I think they did) and the period prince defo had a large fan base, also so did Kai (Laineybot) and Bex did too (actor),Kalvin has done loads of videos about people who have a large fan base some even bigger then his own.
@@jaywilde4628 i was just going to comment this then i saw yours lol, (the rest is for the initial comment above this)also if these people are going to come straight out on the internet and claim themselves to be transgender, or trans but not trans and everything in between and have no evidence or real experience with the actual effects of being trans they shouldn't have a platform. and you don't need to be an expert to defend your case with actual evidence.
I think they are a mean person who genuinely has undesirable personality traits. Maybe when they grow up they might realize what a horrible person they have been. But right now if they can't empathise with others. I hold no hope for their future. (orange jumpsuit)
Yeeaaah I remember that video, I can't remember if it was either him or his fans that said asexuals dont belong in LBTQ+ because we aren't oppressed enough and I commented saying that it was basically a fucked up thing to say, and that as an enby asexual myself and other people who identify as ace can confirm that we do experience fucked up things and that the whole reason why LGBTQ+ was created was to basically be a safe haven for people that aren't cis and straight. I remember basically getting attacked and told that we didn't belong and have our own space to go to. After that I just stopped watching Kalvin's videos because it just made me feel weird and unwelcomed
@@dakota7651 did he completely ignore the fact that asexuals have been considered "mentally ill" by psychologists for CENTURIES?Asexuality was included in the DSM only a few years ago and I don't even know if it is in the new version of the DSM.Also,the way that asexuals and aromantics have been treated is pretty much scarring and dehumanizing.Wtf does he mean by "not oppressed enough"
@@keep_it_in_a_hidden_place Yeah Im not really sure due to the fact that aces were right along with the bis, gays, trans, etc in San Fran. It's weird that they spend so much time bashing Tumblr w.hile at the same time embodying Tumblr's gatekeepy mentality of LGTBQ+. As I said. , I can't remember if it was him that said we arent welcome because we aren't oppressed enough, or his fans lmao. At the same time I can see from an outsider's perspective that doesn't actually understand what asexuality is saying "You dont go through what we go through so you dont belong." because I also invalidated myself with similar thoughts before I actually fully understood what being ace was. I thought that I could basically just force myself to pass as het, so therefor I was basically het and didn't belong. I basically did what closeted gays do in order to pass and I feel like others probably share a similar experience. It felt like in a way something was broken inside of me, I wasn't experiencing sexuality like all of my friends were. I basically had to force myself to be het to fit in. Once I figured out I was ace - when I was 18/19 at first I was met with people basically tried to diagnose me with health issues/figure out my medical history, people assuming I was either a psychopath or sociopath, or that it was due to depression. It seemed absurd that I could be pefectly content with not having sex and experienced minimal to no sexual attraction, crushes are 50/50, so I had people assuming it was either because my thyroid was fucked up, or I was a sociopath.
That was literally the video that made me stop watching him, I was so flabbergasted that he said that I had to step back from his channel and I officially unsubscribe a little while ago.
I have a question,(this is out of confusion and I dont really have much info on it) I do believe ace people are in the LGBT community cause we are very open though doesnt asexuality mean you dont have sexual desires? Making it not really a sexuality? If I'm wrong please tell me but I just want to understand it more
@catgirl gf oh my god thank you so much! I will keep this in mind the next time i get told that im faking my entire identity and am a disgusting ""trender"" for literally just existing! you're so right, all those times that ive gotten called slurs and called disgusting for just being a queer person i couldve just chosen to not be emotionally damaged. hell, i didnt need to be emotionally damaged when i almost got kicked out and was told that my existence was tearing my family apart! you're so right, from now on i will just choose to not be hurt by anything! thank you for this wonderful revelation, you absolute cunt
@catgirl gf Yes, so everyone who is being heinously abused, dehumanized, and discriminated against are choosing to feel negative emotions! Maybe the world would be a better place if people saw your new discovery and just chose to stop feeling emotions, or as you put it “emotionally hurt”! You should try working as a therapist! I mean the last time I checked emotions are naturally occurring scientifically speaking, and things that are natural are also scientifically speaking not choices. When someone slaps you on the arm it hurts, and that’s not a choice. But apparently if someone emotionally abuses you, you have full control over how emotionally hurt you are. But I’ll take your word for it! Every time someone beats me, insults me, or hurts me in anyway I’ll just remind myself to invalidate how I naturally feel because according to your logic I can just simply not be emotionally hurt by choice!
@catgirl gf I don't see where you ever stated facts aside from the vaccine and mitochondria ones but okay. keep pretending that non-binary gender identities haven't existed for thousands of years lmao.
“If you attempt suicide it is your fault and you can never blame someone else for a choice that you make” If you bully/cyberbully someone and they attempt suicide as a result, you need to accept your part in what lead that person there. You are responsible to a point.
@@romaniesophie5035 but it does. He didn't bully them. He always says not to go send someone hate. He's only said it once because someone was harassing him, and he just said they need to be banned. Yes, his fans can be very radical, I'm not gonna pretend they aren't, but if you watch his videos you'll see how much he doesn't want any of his fans to do that. He literally always says that his fans shouldn't be going anywhere to send hate because that's not what he wants. It was his fans who sent that hate, not him.
Rom Rom I think the problem is that were part of the section of his fanbase trying to get others in board and your commenting on a video that completely misrepresents Kalvin as a person.
This whole situation feels like Kalvin's gone too far in trying to look good to the conservative cis people, and is too afraid to back away so he just keeps diggind himself deeper and deeper into a hole. I'm convinced that Kalvin's views come from a place of dysphoria and wanting to be accepted, but his pain doesn't justify the pain he causes others. In one of her videos Kat Blaque said something I never really thought about before: if you want to go stealth, having a channel dedicated to your experiences as a trans person isn't really the best idea. He talks so much about passing and things like that, but given his following, a lot more people know that he's trans than he'd probably like. His publicity may be also fueling his dysphoria, which - again - is a hole he dug for himself, and in no way does it make the situation okay.
The "being a good trans™" and trying to cater to transphobes trap is so easy to fall into but it's not okay, I don't hate Kalvin but he's so shitty to trans people
@@gateauxq4604 tbh I'm pretty confident he'll always find his audience, plenty of people agree with his opinions. Unless he does something truly awful, he will get views. I mean, this situation is messed up, and still the vast majority of his subscribers is on his side. I also honestly don't think he's such a terrible person. He isn't very careful with the things he says, probably because he believes they can't actually hurt people. That doesn't mean he's not gonna have a fanbase, it means his viewers are mostly gonna be young and not think too much about how the content they like might affect others.
Its real fucked up. He tries so hard to appeal to cis people in general but in the end, they dont care about us. Ive used to be one of his fans and his mentality of "transtrender" and fitting his experience into a cookie cutter way where if you dont experience gender like he does then you're not trans, has really made me doubt my identity and im still struggling to confirm my identity because of people like him and blaire white, etc. Watching Kat Blaque has really validated me since then though.
Kalvin thinks trans people can’t be transphobic - he’s wrong. It’s an internalized hatred, a feeling that if he had to suffer, so does everyone else in order to “prove” they are trans. i’m so sorry for what he’s experienced in his past, but it gives him no right to continually harass people who don’t meet his awful standards that cater to cis people. When i was discovering my nonbinary identity, i came across his videos and felt so horrible about myself. his videos aren’t an “opinion” - they are ableist, transphobic nonsense that harm people. an opinion is “i don’t like the color green,” not “you’re not really trans because you haven’t done this or that.”
@Ian Popovic Disagrees? He went and insulted and harassed a bunch of enby people because they didn't fit his personal criteria as "being trans." And even if he didn't, non-binary people are trans. If you say they aren't real or are faking it, you're transphobic, because that's the same thing people say to binary trans people.
@Ian Popovic "non binary technically isn't trans because it doesn't necessarily include transitiong. it's even in the name; "trans"ition " Uh, what? Non-binary people DO transition. Literally the person in the video takes hormones, for example, and various non-binary people also get top surgery or even bottom surgery. And even then, changing they way you present in public, (i.e., name change, pronoun change, getting the symbol on their ID cards changed to X, and more) IS transitioning. And finally, transitioning doesn't make you trans anyway, your gender not matching your sex assigned at birth does. Or are you one of those people who demand every trans person get every kind of surgery and treatment there is or they're not trans? Because if you are, no wonder you don't see why Kalvin is transphobic.
@@Zubritski.25 i believe its more specifically in regards to the comment kalvin made about the actions of others not impacting someone mental health (albeit it was more specifically about suicide)
Kalvin garrah will excuse everything he says as an “opinion”. Making fun of someone’s appearance, gender identity and such is not an opinion, it’s bullying.
It is an opinion but opinions are not some holy thing that can’t be criticised. They have awful, harmful opinions that they need to call in to question.
@@lilyD11 ok first of all it doesnt have to be constant people bully people even if it isnt constant bulling like regardless if it isnt constant or not that shit is disrespectful and ignorant deadass people are sensitive yes but that doesnt give him a right to deadass be disrespectful to people he dont even know that's on period I said what I said
“you need to be ready to accept criticism for posting things online”, proceeds to make a whole video about how he shouldn’t be criticized for making a video that pushed someone to attempt suicide
Not empathy, compassion. Many people are born with low levels of empathy and cannot help it. Compassion, however, is absolutely a choice, which is something Kalvin makes no effort to show others.
yep. sure, that person could've stayed off the internet and not given potential to be harmed. but he also could have chosen not to be a complete arsehole and tear them down.
Here’s my thing. I have to listen to critiques in university. Any critique starts with taking the subject seriously, and honestly. Kalvin won’t do that. If he said those things about my early art works, to that big of an audience ? I honestly can’t imagine how I’d react, let alone attacking my identity.
UHHHHHHHHHHHH obviously if they didn't wanna be bul- Criticized they should have had a less CriNge identity! Or stayed off thee internet all together, never letting their CRinGe identity be seen by the world. I mean, like, it's basically YOUR fault if Kalvin chooses to buCritique you, for being present as an identity he doesn't like. right? R I G H T ?
he makes me so angry. 1. he is passing the blame the person who tried to k*ll themsef. the person tried to do so because of the hate HIS FANS were sending them. 2. he is trying to tell other people how they can identify you can NOT tell someone what gender they identify as. that is not your choice.
I’m not gonna pretend that I completely understand all these “transtrender” people but who the fuck cares if there non binary or use they/them pronouns. Im not saying that some of their content isn’t cringeworthy but are a lot of straight cisgender people that equally as cringe . If you don’t like how these people express themselves don’t watch it’s as simple as that.
I'm cis gendered, however i find it disgusting for people to Misgender others even if they don't agree with their gender. I would never do that and if i ever do its on accident and I'm quick to correct myself, he's a bully
I used to watch him when I was in 8th grade and a "woke centrist." I've grown and realized that at the end of the day, someone's sexual and gender identity, whether or not I think it's silly and "believe" it or not, is none of my business. As long as you are happy and not hurting people, then you can identify as whatever you want, and neither I nor the people I watch can invalidate your identity. I'm glad I stopped watching him and educated myself, and I'm ashamed that I subscribed to him.
I used to watch Kalvin, I agreed with his views and thought ‘transtrenders’ were CRINGEY. Turns out it was internalized transphobia! Two years later I discovered that I’m nonbinary.
Same, he made me believe that I have to hardcore dypshoria in oder to be trans (same with Blaire White). It turns out my hatred for transtrenders was internalized transphobia and misandry because I didn't believe men could be feminine and if trans femboy exist they're just doing it for attention. Kalvin also made me believe that non-binary is not real and same thing for genderfluid people (that was before I realize that I was a bigender transmasc).
i never watched his content beyond a video or two (until i heard about him harassing enby people) but i used to not respect non-binary people because, one, i didn't understand how gender works and i thought they were trying to "piggy-back" off trans people and were trivializing something serious, and two, i think deep down part of me was scared of the idea i would be perceived as non-binary because i never fit with gender roles and it was a scary idea years and actual research done later, I'm female-agender genderfluid. imagine that...
I've noticed the 'transtrender' accusations disproportionately affect people who ID as NB. I know contra covered it in her way but I think TH-cam would still be interested in hearing what you have to say about it.
well thats because real nonbinary people are more rare then binary trans people and most nonbinary identifies are bullshit and not scientifically proven.
@@deviltown7060 What gender identity is "scientifically" proven? The word "identity" is not a purely biological standard, it's a label that is mostly based out of social environment and exposure throughout a person's life. (FYI: chromosomes don't denote gender, not even sex, there is too much margin for variations in phenotype expression)
@@khairmartinezpuertas1524 male and female are scientifcally proven, I'm not sure if nonbinary has been scientifcally proven but since there could be a possibility of it existing I will respect people who identify as it also the word identity is purely biologically standerd.
Same. It honestly feels so awful I'll probably never get to be open about my identity in real life because people, LGBT and not, will call me "delusional" and accuse me of making a fool out of trans people. I constantly worry if friends and family will find out and agonize over the things they would say. But yeah, totally doing it for the trend! Sure do feel cute and unique and definitely get lots of positive attention and not uh... harassment for literally just existing.
i genuinly cannot stand him. i used to watch him when i was still questioning, and it definitely made me hate myself lie 1000000% more. I feel bad for the kids that watch him and end up internalising all their transphobia. (srry for spelling errors,, im illeterate.)
Illiterate means you can't read or write at all, whatsoever, not so much as their name. You can read and write comprehensively enough to communicate, and have a really good vocabulary, so you're definitely not illiterate. Don't worry about spelling mistakes either, they really don't matter.
Breaking news: Trans people are humans, and sometimes humans are awful. Trans people can still be bullies and do bad things- we can disagree with them and still respect their identity. As a transman myself, I used to have a hard time understanding or accepting other trans people or nonbinary individuals whose experience with gender was different than my own. I never crossed over into bullying and demeaning people, but I would get kind of angry about it, especially when someone said they were trans-male but didn't experience gender in a similar way as me. Then I kind of grew up, I talked to friends who identified as gender fluid or non-binary, I spent some time educating myself. I admit I still sometimes get confused, but I realized most of my anger was coming from my own gender dysphoria, pain, insecurities, and fears and I didn't want to project that onto other people. People need to be free to explore their own gender identity and sexuality and figure out where they stand. For some people, it's more cut and dry and for others, it's a lifelong journey of discovering how they are most comfortable and that's okay. We don't help anybody by gatekeeping and bullying within our own community.
this was in my recommended videos today after i watched kalvin's latest video. thanks for making this - it gave me some perspective. i do actually agree with some of the stuff he says on some topics (SOME of it) but regardless of views on trans stuff it's clear to see that he is just... not a nice guy. making entire videos dedicated to making fun of people who haven't actually done anything wrong is just cruel. i'm going to try and stop myself from watching his videos in the future - they aren't good for me to watch or for the trans community in general.
this comment made my day. i'm so happy that this helped you get perspective. it's difficult when you watch a youtuber often, the ~parasocial relationships~ can get in the way. thanks for hearing me out
Okay, but he isn't making fun of people. He also isn't harassing anyone. He never discloses usernames, and tells people to not send any hate to that person. And if you try to pull up his latest video and talk about that, he was being very rudely misgendered and told that because his little sister got hit by a car and he watched, he was trans. So,,,you know what? He isn't the bad guy. He is trying to protect the trans community from idiots.
G W yep. There’s a COUPLE of opinions he has that I agree with (ex. Don’t force androgyny on children, just as You shouldn’t force agab) but overall I don’t like him or his channel.
He’s letting his law degree get to his head. “So I’m not liable for their attempt” “you can’t hold me accountable” he’s treating this like a goddamn lawsuit when that’s a human life he’s fucking with
"I think it's really weak-minded to assume that everybody on the internet has good intentions" he says, while making videos that cater to people who encourage him to behave hatefully. He should watch Innuendo Studios' video "How to radicalize a normie"...
Thing is, I understand where Kalvin is coming from with his views, but there's also the reality that some people are just different and we just need to accept it, not gatekeep, you don't know other people more than they know themselves so you don't have the authority to tell other people whether they are really trans or not. Also, the part where Kalvin said it's not his fault other people are harassed by his fans and are driven to suicide is very ignorant of him. He has a massive platform which comes with responsibility and influence, so yes it does matter whether he has 10 subs or 10M subs. Actions have consequences he needs to consider. Not to mention this line of thinking justifies irl bullying too, it's the victim's fault if they get driven to suicide because they get physically/verbally/sexually harassed. This is victim blaming at its finest and it's bad.
Kalvin is allowed to voice his views on the internet. However, these specific "transtrender" reaction videos aren't /just/ an "opinion"; they include images, text and sometimes account names and the harassment that these people experience is real - that's the consequence of having a platform as big as his. He knows that his fans will go after these people, because that's what they always do when he posts these videos. His complete refusal to take any responsibility for what's happening is really worrying, and says a LOT about how removed he's become from the reality of what he's actually doing. The people being targeted are often young people who are a part of the LGBTQ community. Whether people believe that they are "really trans" or not doesn't really matter. What matters is that people are being targeted by a TH-camr and social media influencer with a large platform and dedicated fan-base. The victim blaming in his "let's talk about suicide" video is.. chilling.
@@korviday Agreed with everything, I don't think he should be censored, just that his actions have consequences especially with a platform this size that he failed to acknowledge. This is like trans gamergate.
Rad Lad Agreed. Like I know that he says ‘don’t harass them’, but people with that many subscribers should know that even if you do not tell your subscribers specifically ‘attack them’ or share their username, you ARE presenting them in a light that is ‘deserving’ of bullying and harassment.
But tenders actually exist we gatekeeping is necessary we can't just accept white people in the black community so we shouldn't accept people without any dysphoria in the trans community. I can't stand people saying that gatekeeping is transphobic while every other oppressed group gatekeeps
korviday He says not to harass the people and his cratiqes of the "tenders" are more criticisms of the community than of the actual people themselves basically saying I'm gonna make an example out of you.
as a former kalvin stan, i can tell you with absolute confidence that most of the shit his fans do is out of pure insecurity in themselves and the need to make themselves feel more valid. why else would anyone be so focused on whether or not someone else is trans enough? the "it makes us look bad" excuse is bullshit because we will always look bad in certain peoples eyes, those people shouldn't fucking matter anyways, stop trying to find acceptance in places where you have to constantly prove yourself. i started catching on to the fact that kalvin, and i as a fan of kalvin, was wrong after he and another youtuber kept posting about another youtuber. i checked out that youtuber, honestly, because i wanted a laugh at someone else's expense, but then i realized that that youtuber had not posted about kalvin and his friend at all aside from a post on his story defending himself. from then on, i started to realize how toxic kalvins videos are, how every time i watched them i got so dysphoric that i would sit there and cry, how i got more and more suicidal. at a certain point, enough was enough, i banned myself from watching any trans youtubers videos and gave myself time to think for my goddamn self instead of letting kalvin and his fans tell me what to think. i got myself on testosterone last december, and gained a lot more confidence. i realized that i had also given up pretty much everything i enjoyed because i was afraid of not being trans enough. as of now, i am able to enjoy putting on makeup, cosplaying, wearing more feminine clothing in public, and i'd even like to "crossdress" and crossplay once i'm at a point where i can be comfortable enough to do that. does that mean i'm not trans? no. i'm still on testosterone, i still identify as a man, i still have dysphoria, i still want surgery. those things are never going to change no matter how feminine i present. the only thing i could see changing, is the possibility of eventually identifying as non-binary, and if that happens, that's okay! it took work, but now i see right through kalvin and crews bullshit. for someone so logical, he sure does contradict himself a lot. he and his fans should just let people live, they'd be a lot happier that way.
Great video, super informative. I'm a grade 7 and 8 teacher, and I see how the erasure and bullying of non-binary kids affects them deeply and daily. The resources you listed can help me better advocate for them to students, parents, and other teachers and admin. Thank you.
wow! I'm super humbled that this video reached you. Thank you for watching and for being an ally to atypical identities, especially as a teacher. Seeing accepting adults in positions of authority when young can really make a change.
@@notfunny1410 The simple answer is culture. These identities exist in kids that age all over the place, and always have, but in the US/Canada/UK/ect. information about NB identities and that you can be NB is much more easily accessible and so much more people that age have a word they can use to express what they were feeling already, examples of what they can be, etc. Give some time for culture to change in other places too and you'll see the same thing cropping up in other countries, too. It's the reason it's now US/Canada/UK and not just the US.
Robin Excalibur don't you think its bs? Lmao only people with an internet connection have this you don't (or rarely) see it in Africa, South American, other places in Europe and Asia. And don't you think its weird how all of them are also on the extreme left?
Kalvin's whole channel is based on him wanting to distance himself from the 'fake' trans, because he doesn't want cis people to take THEM seriously, but he wants to be taken seriously. He literally cannot fathom that other people experience gender differently, and it's very ironic coming from a transman.
Kitty Grimm his followers bully them, even when he explicitly says not to, and he’s only rude to people who claim to be trans/nb but make no effort to pass (even if they have supportive parents) or experience no dysphoria
Kalvin: I don't wanna harrass people. Also Kalvin: harrasses people and tells them that they aren't really trans just because their experience is different to his.
"It's not my fault that someone attempted suicide just because I know I have a large, aggressive fan base and continue to make videos targeting specific people KNOWING that my fan base will harass them. It's my fan's fault. Oh, not my fans. My *real* fans wouldn't do that. But I'm still going to make videos targeting specific people knowing all this. Because it gets me money."
I hate how he keeps saying that we don't know if the person actually attempted, but then implies he knows they were lying about it. Or how he thinks he gets to decide whats "cringy" and thus, needs "critique". I've gotta make a response video to his latest vid, it's absolute crap.
The "let's talk about suicide" video was basically him saying "I mean, they're probably lying for attention, but even if they're not then I'm not responsible at all; and it's a problem in their brains and has nothing to do with me. They shoudln't be on the internet. But also there's no proof so they're probably lying. But if they're not, then it wasn't my fault" repeated for 12 minutes. He's become completely detached from the reality of what he's doing. It's sad, because he could be doing good with his platform. Talking about the realities of being a trans guy, vlogs.. I hear he likes making music. Why he keeps this transtrender thing up is.. beyond me. Views? A whole lot of hate. I think that his worldview has become so twisted that he actually believes that "transtrenders" are the number one problem for trans people today. TL;DR I just want him to stop targeting people.
he's such a weasly piece of shit who needs to experience some hardship he can't weasel out from "Let's talk about suicide"? "Let's talk about how I want to have my cake and eat it too", more like.
@@korviday as an adult, I think I'm equipped to say that there are two sides to the idea of cringe... and looking back, I'm glad I have the ability to identify both. one side of cringe is the embarrassment that you get from looking back at your young self's interests and feeling like those interests were actually lame, but also knowing exactly how seriously you took those interests anyway. you had no cynicism, and you had no irony... you were a weird, doofy kid. and that can be embarrassing to confront if you're still concerned with the image you project to others, which everyone is. the other side of cringe is looking back and being embarrassed by your own behavior. maybe you believed something that was wrong, or that you didn't fully understand... and maybe you acted badly towards others based on this false or incomplete information. maybe your young self's attempts at being cool manifested as being an asshole, and maybe you're ashamed that you ever acted that way. both of these things serve a function in the process of growing up. I think everyone goes through embarrassing phases that become nostalgic to look back at... and sometimes, even if a thing is considered lame by a lot of people, you'll like it anyway. true maturity is learning how to love what you love no matter how other people consider it. in this sense, I think people should embrace cringe content so much more than they do, because it's mostly just young people unabashedly self actualizing. young people defining and becoming themselves with no irony, or cynicism... it's something frighteningly raw and genuine. and the world can try to make that seem embarrassing, but nobody is obligated to give a shit about how much they'll be judged. this is the kind of cringe that someone like Kalvin critiques. and the second kind of cringe is the kind that Kalvin _is._ he is behaving in ways that I really hope he outgrows. if he can look back at this behavior and feel remorse for the way that he has behaved, then that's good for him. feeling embarrassed or ashamed when you look back at the things you used to do that would've hurt people? that's a sign of growth. even if you go through that phase during your development, you shouldn't stay there. you should move past it. and I think there's a kind of irony in how backwards this boy has these things in his head. so what I guess I'm saying is... cringe can come from valid places when it's a critique of hurtful behavior. and cringe can be completely unnecessary when it's shaming you for a genuine interest that you would otherwise have no trouble loving in all its embarrassingly earnest glory. in life, you should strive to grow into your own self, and grow out of bad habits. liking cringe content will bring you together with other people who aren't afraid to like that stuff too. it's a unifying experience. whereas behaving in ways that make other people feel like shit will only make the number of people that you will accept without critique smaller and smaller. being hypercritical will isolate you eventually... and being accepting means more than just technically tolerating people who are different than you.
ok look hear you dumb fuck, literally ALL OF THE PEOPLE he has covered are usually adults who have the money, the support and just in general self enviroment to transition then they don't and just dye their fucking hair and have their tits out saying they are some made up gender of that they are ''FTM'' even though they look more girlier then usual.
apparently i’m a “trender” because i: -use she/they pronouns -dress feminine despite being nonbinary -identify as a nonbinary demigirl -don’t feel the need for any kinda of surgery or hormones -don’t feel crippling dysphoria everyday and cry at any mention of my deadname people aren’t going to fit every mold you try to place on them, gender identity and gender expression are two completely different things. this isn’t the 50s, boy doesn’t mean the color blue and race cars and girl doesn’t mean the color pink and barbies. the fact that he doesn’t understand that attacking someone’s identity and putting them on blast in front of all his fans is in fact bullying is very concerning.
Mason basically i don’t feel entirely female or male, i lean more towards female but because i do feel dysphoria about my chest and my deadname i’m not cis. never in my comment did i say that i don’t experience dysphoria, i said that i don’t feel *crippling* dysphoria. furthermore no, i don’t want to get surgery because i don’t feel comfortable doing that, that doesn’t make me or anyone else less valid. i plan on socially transitioning when i move out but i don’t owe you anymore explanation on that. please do research before you make a negative comment on someone else’s identity for the reasons mentioned in the video.
i got called a trans trender for never wearing a binder (im a trans man, just got top surgery and feel great! ayy) and feeling more comfortable with sports bras. even though dysphoria is unique to every person who experiences it (if they experience it) and my main trigger was and still is tight fitted clothing on my chest and abdomen so i literally could not wear one. also i like my hair on the longer side. the moment you arent the extreme of your gender expectations and dont live and experience life the way they do they throw a fit and its tragic.
Kalvin hurt me. Not directly, but he did. He said my identity is not valid. He said my boyfriends identity is not valid. He said my best friend’s identity is not valid. He’s attacking these young people and I’m scared that he will attack someone close to me, though that’s probably not likely. I’m waiting for his mindless minions to come to the comments (which they probably have) and say “he’s allowed to have opinions” and yeah, he is. But he doesn’t need to be shouting them to millions of people and brushing it off when the person he attacked does something bad. I wonder if he knows what impulse is. Sometimes people can’t control their impulse because they are so emotionally hurt and in so much mental stress, and they hurt themself or worse. I know I have. Kalvin is a toxic TH-camr. I regret giving him the views I did.
@@kaiyodei genderfluid and demiboy, if I remember corectly. That was at I time that I was still figuring myself out. I'm a trans guy,but at the time I thought I was genderfluid.
@@kyleplatte4257 afab or amab demiboy? because i feel like, being demi but still part of "birth gender" would just be like saying "I'm afab half girl I'm totally transgender" just seems like a strech as well as it sounding like "I'm not like other girls" is a gender. and if transgender is in the brain, how can someone be fluid? then again you don't need your own brain to be a person. D.I.D proves that
@@kaiyodei weather someone is afab or amab is none of your business buy they are afab, also gender is a social construct lol. and yeah, DID proves that. and a lot of things. It mystifies me. why are we talking about DID though???
read this before commenting pls: - kalvin, if you're reading this.. i know you like to make music. dude, put your energy into that instead. - for people saying that "im blaming kalvin for someone's suicide" i'm not. - it was only an attempt (thank god) - i'm just documenting and exposing a very worrying situation. this is a wake up call. - *i don't "hate" kalvin. i just want him to wake the fuck up and stop doing this.*
Kalvin (and Blair White) are a big part of why I am afraid to come out/discuss being nonbinary even with other trans people. He HATES feminine nonbinary people with a passion, and I don’t understand it.
This was such a breath of fresh air for me. As an afab struggling with gender identity I often look to transmasc people for guidance, or someone to look up to but time and time again I find people exactly like Kalvin, or people who openly support his actions. It's exhausting going through this circle jerk of transmasc people putting down others in the community, often times people like me who struggle with identity and don't fit the binary. Instant subscribe, you have my respect.
Shout-out to all the other kids who stumbled across his videos while they were questioning themselves, and then felt pressured to act a certain way and still remember feeling guilty for considering themselves tenders ✌️ Personally I realised I'm not trans, but I felt extremely guilty to tell people what I had realised, and I thought I was a trender and a horrible person for ever questioning myself,, would have been better off if I had never watched Kalvin but here I am
kalvin was my first ever trans youtuber and as a genderfluid kid finally finding a way to describe themselves, it fucked me up. i was convinced i was just a confused transboy because i had dysphoria and cause of his videos
I was always trans, but people like him helped me convince myself I'm cis and to hate nb people for yeaaars. It was internalized self hate and insecurity that ended up projected onto others. Whenever I had moments of wondering if I was trans, I'd brush it off and be all "i'm not one of those weirdos looking for attention." All of this inner community hatred was pushed along directly by terfs, and it's only now i understand why they're detested so much, because they're not just hateful to trans women, they're hateful towards literally ALL lgbtq+ people. any negative rhetoric? probably traced back to terfs. it's quite sad honestly. even aphobic propaganda is traced back to terfs, believe it or not.
Off topic and months late, but ever since he claimed Asexuals (such as myself, hello aro/ace here) do not belong in the LGBTQ+ community, I lost all respect for him.
That’s what it took?? He’s been bullying nonbinary people or gnc trans people who don’t fit his “quota” but you draw the line at aphobia (not that aphobia is excusable in anyway)???
@@ReaperInTheFlowers I looked into his content when I was young and uneducated on Transgender topics. He was the first to educate me, once I learned about the "Asexuals don't belong" video, I left his content. Then, I got educated on my own with better, more tolerable sources. So, sorry I was a dumb child who wasn't aware he was bullying people simply for their identities.
Sorry for this rant by As a questioning possible Asexual who never really cared for pronouns (literally he, she, they/them I don't really care? Though I some times lean to he and they pronouns, ) and I've never really had a word for it not have I ever identified myself as anything other than ’gender-qeer’ or ’non-binary’ occasionally when I wasn't sure how to explain but I was still never comfortable with labels, seeing shit like this makes me sick because so many people including me are struggling to understand ourselves and I've suffered so much internal struggle and seen my friends and even family suffer from people who think they have ’the right’ to run their mouths and share their ’Opinion’ which is just thinly veiled bullying and harassment. FOR ANYONE who needs to hear this, you are not alone, you don't need to understand who you are just yet, it's ok to question yourself, it's okay to change your mind. If your an adult or still a teen it doesn't matter life is all about figuring out who you are and who you wanna be, don't let some brat on the internet make you feel like shit because THEY DON'T KNOW YOU, you are who you want to be and no one else, end of discussion.
Slightly off-topic, but if you're looking for a more specific label, maybe some of these labels will will fit well! Pangender: Your gender is infinite, and you identify as any/all genders within your culture. This can sometimes include the lack of gender as well, usually in the case of feeling indifferent towards being agender VS being gendered/allogender. Trigender: A gender identity which includes any three genders. For example, you could be a man, a woman, and a nonbinary person, either simultaneously or varying/fluctuating between them. Ambonec: Being a man, woman, and neither simultaneously. This can be interpreted in many ways, such as being a specific subset of trigender, or having a paradoxical identity.
You know, this video aged so well cause not only is it still relevant, but Brennen made a come back, calling Kalvin out. People are starting to take back their identity. Out of everything in 2020, them coming back was honestly the best part. Despite this being a year, before the downfall of Kalvin, it's a great a video and it seriously aged well!
He drove someone to suicide and has the absolute gall to say that he’s not a bully? Gross. No one ever wants to see themselves as the villain of their own story, I suppose.
Hey, sorry but this is coming from a double suicide survivor. It is NO ONES fault if someone kills themself. No one but theirs. They're the one that did it. Don't ever fucking blame anyone for someones suicide. It's fucking disgusting. Yes a person can contribute to depression but in the end it is the persons choice to end their own life. Sorry for getting so triggered but PLEASE never say that dumb shit ever again cause it's not true.
@@Rigiroony I agree, but in the end it really is somebodies fault. If you bully somebody and harass them whilst you're aware they're suicidal, you know exaclty what you're doing. It DRIVES the person to commit instead of seeking help a lot of the time, or it just generally makes it worse and overwhelming so they dont want to get help. As a double sucide survivor as well,,,, Kelvin knew what he was doing and its extremely disgusting and dangerous.
Rigiroony That’s some real victim blaming bullshit. Suicide attempts are not rational decisions. They’re oftentimes induced by depressive episodes which can be a consequence of bullying. While yes it’s hard to put full blame on the tormentors, they definitely have some responsibility in that case, especially if they knew of the circumstances or were in position to know and just ignored it. As a suicide survivor yourself it’s astonishing that you don’t know better.
I have a friend who's ftm trans, and he has specifically told me before that he's afraid to dress even remotely feminine because he doesn't want to be attacked for being a "transtrender".
Let that sink in.
Too fuckin real
Could someone lay out the definition of transtrender for me
@@vi-jm7wg it's more of a concept than an actual thing that happens, but a "transtrender" is (on paper) a trans person without dysphoria, and in parts of the trans community it is an extremely divisive issue on whether gender dysphoria makes you trans or not. however, many people such as kalvin garah simply assume some trans people do not have dysphoria, on account of them usually being nonbinary, gender non-conforming/androgynous, not medically transitioning, or using neopronouns such as xe/xem. generally the term is more used as a way to justify bullying than anything else and pretty much no one transitions because it's "trendy". being trans is very hard but, the way i see it, you shouldn't base your identity off your own misery because that just hurts you and the people around you. sorry this got so long i hope i answered your question
homopocalypse thank you for the explanation!
@@vi-jm7wg no problem
TW: suicide
Kalvin was completely gaslighting his audience in regards to that person who tried to kill them self so in turn damaging the person he bullied all over again.
There is a stark difference between “You are not responsible for someone’s happiness” and “Exposing people to a larger more hostile audience where you have spent the entire time invalidating them and some how thinking your audience won’t do the same”
guys like this try so hard to get the cishets to like them because they’re “normal” and not like the “cringey trenders”. it’s kinda sad actually
It’s literally just internalized transphobia they’ve carried with themselves; it seems that they seek validation of some sort from the same people who have hurt them. It’s definitely pretty sad
I’m like this but idk what I can do to change, I have a lot of internalized transphobia and I tend to project it onto others but it makes me feel like a really shitty person. I wanna learn how to respect and accept everyone but I’m scared that if I do people are gonna invalidate me or think lesser of me but I genuinely want to change for the better.
Sam Builes i've found the best way to get over internalized transphobia is to reach out to other trans people, learn about how their experience may differ from yours, and understand that not all trans people feel gender dysphoria and gender euphoria in the same way! also just getting more comfortable with your own gender identity helps a lot
Joseph Switzer yeah you’re right, I’m comfortable with myself and I have a couple trans friends but we don’t often talk about trans topics cause I guess I don’t like talking about being trans so we don’t really interact like that
If that's what it means to be "normal" then let's be the weirdest people possible.
He's what i imagine 12 year old Ben Shapiro was like.
“let’s say hypothetically i made a video on someone and hypothetically my fans harassed them”
I think Shapy boy is a sweetheart by comparison.
@@oanaalexia shaprio is a transphobe
@@aarontheperson6867 I know and I dislike him for that, using the comparison I was trying to put emphasis on how much worse I think this guy is.
@@oanaalexia i see and i understand. sorry if my comment came off as hostile.
I used to watch Kalvin a lot. I shared a lot of the same ideas and views that he did and it really impacted the way I saw myself and how I saw others. I would actually get physically mad about "trenders" and would constantly talk about how people without dysphoria aren't trans; they're harming the trans community, stuff like that. I would see kids at my school with blue hair and roll my eyes. I never openly called anyone a trender or invalid, but that's not the point. It impacted the way I saw people, it impacted the way I TREATED people. For some reason, someone who didn't experience the same amount of dysphoria as I did, suddenly wasn't valid. But it didn't stop with other people, it changed the way I saw myself too. I would constantly worry about not being trans "enough", not presenting masculine "enough", and experiencing "enough" dysphoria. For the first time in my life, I was worried that I was seeing myself wrong. I constantly doubted myself and constantly worried about how people like Kalvin would perceive me. As if he was the person I had to go to to prove to myself I was "valid". I thought if you weren't transmed, you weren't trans and deserved the backlash you got for it. I feel awful for ever thinking like this, again I never went out of my way to tell someone they weren't trans, but it was just the way my head space had changed. I became so insecure and I hated myself for being trans and trans people in general. I'm not blaming Kalvin for this because ultimately it was me who brought myself to that spot, but I know that those videos helped me get there. I still have thoughts like that to this day and I hate it. I just want to be able to accept myself and others without needing "proof of identity". No one deserves to be harassed or bullied for just openly being themselves. Ever
thank you so much for sharing this.
I also watched him alot. Im a cis woman, and watched him to see how a trans individual would react to people that dont try to pass. I didnt understand, and still don't to the fullest extent, what being trans is. I now can't stand the sound of his voice, and unsubbed after the whole suicide thing. Im disgusted by him
I think we really should talk more about the intensity of gender dysphoria. It's a concept many won't seem to ever consider, rather people think gender dysphoria is an on-off experience, and everyone having dysphoria sharing similar struggles.
Anyhow, based on my personal experience, as well as experience of other nb folks, today I think gender dysphoria indeed is a very subjective thing. I have a feeling that binary trans women and trans men tend to experience the most intense, unbearable dysphoria. While nonbinary trans people are somewhere in between cis people ("zero experience of dysphoria") and binary trans people ("maximum experience of dysphoria"). We might notice the dysphoria and it always bugs here on the back of your mind, but for whatever reason that experience just isn't so unbearable to you that you needed (or wanted) everything changed medically.
I kind of understand how binary trans people can see this experience as a threat. But I don't think anyone's experience should (or could) be silenced. Instead of bullying nb folks into silence, I think we need to discuss more about the differences (and similarities) between binary and nonbinary trans people. We need to educate people more on these two existing groups of trans people, to make a space for everyone to exist.
I feel a lot less of a mean person knowing I wasn't the only one who watched his content and thought this way for a long time.
I respect you so much for sharing this experience. It is difficult owning up to our faults and mistakes, I myself use to watch his videos some point in the past. Ppl have a great influence on each other's minds, and this type of structure and negative mindset can become easily consumable. It's great that you're aware of the toxic ways now, that you can learn from that past, and grow from it. We're all learning and we are also growing. It takes time, and good support system, which u have right here with us :3
Obviously he still has his own issues about himself that he feels the need to bash others. I never liked him, he always rubbed me the wrong way.
He isn't bashing others hes just bringing attention to the people who don't make any logical sense when it comes to the trans community. And yea he makes rude comments or sensitive comments but these people are also giving out false information about trans people which makes anyone mad. Its like when someone spreads rumors about you that aren't true. you'd get heated id assume and angry as he was in his videos
@@briellecarter9853 you realize he's spreading false info in his videos as well right. He legit called someone who's a CSA survior a pedophile. That's beyond fucked up, and nothing he's ever said will actually help the trans community, because cishets will never fully accept us. Expeccially not if we're constantly tearing each other down and cyberbullying people til they attempt on their fucking lives.
Finn Christian hey I didn’t even see you responded to this but i said this in a previous comment, I have since pushed myself away from kalvin and realized his very toxic and hurtful opinions for the trans community. I myself am cis gender and since kalvin was the only person I watched I believed everything he said blindly. I still, and will always listen to trans people, their experiences, what they feel is hurtful to their community, and more. That includes understanding kalvin is hurtful to the community too. Please know anything I’ve said about kalvin before this date I no longer agree with or support! I’m lucky enough to have opened my eyes to see the problem with him and I will continue to do so in the future. Much love~
Pinkisten hey look at my other comment responding to the person above you! ~
Pinkisten also know What you were saying is 100% true and I don’t want you to feel like I was ignoring what you were saying! I wish I could go back and never get into kalvin like I did but here we are😀🧍♀️
I used to watch Kalvin before he started to harass people online. If you watch a few of his older videos, he actually seems like a pretty nice person. Interestingly, he even mentioned in one of his videos that he liked being trans overall despite his dysphoria. Looking at his twitter now, he despises being trans and being associated with the community he used to feel connected to. Soon after he started T, got top surgery, gained some confidence and followers, it felt like he just forgot where he came from. It's as if the minute he gained cis-passing privilege + a larger platform, he turned into this arrogant, entitled cyberbully. He's the perfect example for the "I'm not like other trans people" narrative. It is easier to hide from oppression when one deliberately turns against their own community and takes part in the bullying of people who do not conform to their oppressors' expectations. In this case, these are non-binary folks + GNC trans men and women. And even though I understand why people like Kalvin and Blaire do this, I simply cannot condone their actions and how much harm they cause. Especially to minors. Especially to teenagers questioning themselves. Especially to those struggling with mental illnesses. Especially to people with autism. It's interesting, how we who criticize them are deemed too sensitive, while everything they do is driven by their emotions, their self-hate, their internalized transphobia. I hope this new wave of supporting transmedicalism (+borderline terf rhetoric) and bullying, in general, will subdue over time. I just wish there were more creators like you to stand up against them.
PS: I'm really glad I found your channel (I guess twitter is still good for a few things). You're very intelligent and creative, and I'm looking forward to see more of your videos! (and I know that everyone has mentioned this before but. your voice is amazing.)
TW-
"You can never blame someone else for trying to kill yourself..."
This line hurt the most, I think. I have a friend very near and dear to me who was constantly harrassed in middle and high school for being LGBTQ. We live in a very VERY small southern conservative place, so you can imagine how bad we all had it. They really tried their best to push through, but they couldn't take it anymore. After months of suffering they almost died. How can he say "you can't blame others" when they would have never had attempted if it weren't for the harrassment. I almost lost one of my best friends to people "just stating their opinions". Kalvin fucking disgusts me. I can't believe he is allowed to have a fucking platform.
I just want to hug the people who got bullied. They deserve nothing but happiness.
I still can't believe that I used to watch his content. Him and Blair basically turned me into a terf at age 12. But as soon as I stopped watching them I came out as a nonbinary guy. Kalvin was toxic at best. Abusive with his power at worst. And many people payed the price. Except for kalvin which pisses me off. Many people were traumatized by him. Hell he made me question my own identity and made me think that my dysphoria was just BD. He made a lot of people feel like absolute shit about themselves. Fuck sakes
Its absolutely wild to me how people will essentially say "I'm to *bad ass* to care about your feelings" and then be mcfucking shocked when someone acts on those hurt feelings.
Why did I read the thumbnail and thought it said “we need to talk about Kevin “ I for real thought this was a film analysis 😂
omg lmaooo
what's the difference anyway?
I had to stop watching kalvin cause he honestly made me feel bad about myself to the point that I felt like I had to wear binders for unhealthy amounts to be valid/actually trans
He didn't say that, binding is for presenting yourself as a male and mitigate dysphoria, binding all is not the same as being trans, he never said that. He even i think in video said he was doing that befor top but it's not healthy.
When I was beginning to question my gender identity 4 years ago, I came to the conclusion that I was gender fluid. I experience social and physical dysphoria. I watched Kalvin Garrah’s videos and saw him shitting on people that were like me and that made me scared of being called a transtrender and invalidated. I had even received shit from people in my comments saying that if I wore a dress and makeup, I wasn’t really trans. I ended up trying to fit into a binary gender expression that made me just as unhappy as living as a girl, for almost 3 years. I was then manipulated into detransitioning by an ex. Not only was I trying to live as a girl, something I don’t identify as, I was scared of being called a fake. Now I’m presenting and identifying as NB and I’m happier. But I still get scared that my identity as a non-binary person is not valid. I don’t watch his vids anymore but his toxicity has stayed with me. I am still scared to be myself. It’s bad enough to receive hate and rejection from cis people, even worse when it’s from your fellow trans people.
God I’m so ashamed that I used to watch him. I hate that I shared any of his horrible views. I’m glad that I educated myself, but it’s really easy for young transmasc guys to be sucked in by this stuff.
saying "you're not a trans man because you present feminine" is like saying to a cis guy "youre a trans female because you present feminine" my guy...gender expression has nothing to do with gender identity. me as a nonbinary folk, it took me a long time to realize that because of Kalvin and Blaire White.
So let me get this straight: What Kalvin's basically saying is that since you're on the internet, it's his right to say whatever he wants about you. And it's your fault if you get offended and/or hurt by what he says.
Is that what bullies say now to defend themselves? That it's their right to bully others? Wow. Just wow.
Oh and korviday I genuinely think I have a crush on you. Send help pls.
The fact that I used to watch his vids 😭
Thank god someone finally spoke about it, I wanted to talk about it myself but I have voice dysphoria and couldn't bring myself to do it ❤️ thank you so much for bringing this issue up.
Kalvin introduced me to a lot of really harmful “opinions” that I actually believed for a while. Knowing that I thought that way scares me, because just reading “ace discourse” comments makes me feel worthless and dead inside, and I can’t imagine what being the target of something a hundred times worse would feel like. I’m so frickin thankful that I’ve been able to learn more and recognize that (1. I was completely wrong, and (2. I don’t have a say in any of this because I’m cis. “Just because I don’t understand French doesn’t mean that the language doesn’t exist” perfectly summarizes my current views on the genders and sexualities that I do not personally experience.
I didn't know who Kalvin was, but I have seen quite a few videos from Blaire White, a trans girl who shares similar opinions on "Transtrenders"
Kat Blaque's perspective of them was particularly interesting: She thinks they strive so much to pass, and that any trans person who doesn't conform to traditional gender presentation is somehow going to shed a bad light on them and the other "real trans", so they do their best to disassociate from them and ridicule them. (Go check her out if you're interested she's awesome)
I'm not trans, but I'm gay and this kinda feels like when some gays complain about overly femme guys and that they end up making the whole community look bad to the straights.
I'm not saying people like Kalvin and Blaire aren't doing any harm. But in a way even they are victims of the society we live in (I know, we live in a society), they're so afraid of the straight's judgment that rather than become victims they turn on their own communities and become bullies themselves.
I have identified as non-binary for a really long time and I was truly at one of my lowest points when watching Kalvin's videos. I've always been a lot more masc aligned (AFAB), wishing I could have top and bottom surgery and go on T. However my intense fear of surgery and needles it's literally impossible for me. He made me feel like I was less than as a person because of my fears, made me totally disregard anything I did previously that was feminine to fit this toxic standard he created. He made me so self-conscious about everything and I can't fathom how he doesn't see how the things he says has consequences.
He never said that, he said hes pro body positivity, he even promotes not having sugery if you can. I mean blaire have male genitals, and she's 100% woman in his eyes.
I admire deeply how calm & collected you present yourself as during this video.
Contra’s latest video about “cringe” describes what Calvin does perfectly
I wish I saw this last year. (I didn't know I was trans until the beginning of 2020.) I'm a trans guy that used to watch a lot of Kalvin's videos. I used to agree 100% with him. Then I decided to watch Brennen's breaking my silence video (early this year) and started realizing I was wrong. The day after I found Moe's video about Kalvin. I wish I'd never got into the transmed stuff. Thanks for this video even though it's a little old.
I legit groaned when I saw Kalvin Garrah and his name.
Edit: I just saw the warning....What did he do.... I thought he was just someone who hates anyone who doesn’t pass or is nonbinary.
Second edit: I’m reading the comments...oh no.
yeah i remember watching him when i was like 13 and had just figured my gender out. i felt bad about still liking to dress femininely and hated myself more for the way i expressed myself. let me just say that feminine does NOT equal female. dress how you want, be what you want. i love you all
I used to support him. I'm happy to say that I don't support him or agree with him. I now identify as nonbinary and I still struggle with accepting myself because of him. I do keep getting better at it and I've accepted who I am. I never went to harass any people he made videos on, because I don't want to be mean.
The way he handled that person trying to hurt themselves to the point of hospitalization was not good at all. He said “it wasn’t bad I wasn’t being mean” but you never know how that person will perceive that situation. Sometimes, they believe the situation to have happened differently or they’re just generally more sensitive. Plus, they probably were not in a good mental state to come to the conclusion that it wasn’t supposed to be taken seriously while his fans were harassing them.
states that you cant blame someone for and su/c/d/ attempt, but proceeds to blame others for his gender dysphoria & the transphobia he experiences.
okay, that totally checks out /s
I have been a subscriber of kalvins for a while and have seen these videos. I clicked on yours on a whim and have to say, I actually agree with you. Thankyou for the enlightenment mate. Lots of love.
This is so off topic but you have a very soothing voice and I want to listen to you talk for literal hours
i used to like him until I finally accepted myself as trans and realized how much his views of what trans means was hurting me. thought i needed to pass 100% to be trans but soon realized i ain't gotta pass as male 24/7 I'm still valid when i wear sports bras instead of binders or want long hair over my short hair.
This video completely changed my view on all this, thank you so much for making it. I am ftm, so I usually felt a little disheartened when people identified as male and outright refused transitioning or dressing the part. Though, your statement that human experience is so complex beyond our comprehension, made me change how I viewed this. I think everyone should do what they deem necessary to feel comfortable and happy as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. I appreciate you opening my eyes. This is a great video, Kalvin instilled hateful views into me and I couldn’t think any other way until I saw this so I appreciate it.
He is wrong, yes, but he was not wrong by calling out gothfruits (who is definitely a trender and r*pe apologist supreme).
I'd agree. There are shitty people in any community, who are mostly there because of attention, and it's pretty obvious who is who. At least for most.
Imagine saying trender in the year of our lord 2020
@@jl003 because she is
This guy is the reason it took me so long to figure out my gender identity 😔
kalvin garrah is the type of person who would blame a victim for being abused and then justify it by saying that they could just leave
“I get to bully suicidal people” on repeat.
lol the way kalvin defends himself is waayyy too similar to the way trump does ope
I used to watch his videos all the time when I was younger. it made me low-key transphobic. I have since come out as demigirl (it just makes me feel more valid and puts a label on my relationship with my gender. a lot of people try to argue it isn't a real identity but I don't fucking care I feel valid) and looking back I was a terrible person. I would go on rants on quotev as to why genderfluid and nonbinary people aren't valid. his videos very poorly effected how I acted. I'm proud to say I've learned and grown since (I literally identify as a demigender. I've come a long way). everyone is valid. no matter what some 12 year old or some gatekeeping asshole tries to tell you.
I actually gagged at the shit Kalvin said about suicide. Literally saying "it's nobodies fault but yours you made that decision" is so fucking terrible. Does he have no idea how it feels to be hopeless and like the world hates you. It's fucking disgusting and shows that he isn't thinking his actions through or putting any thought into anyone else's feelings.
Any time someone with a large online following decides that they have no responsibility to their platform, zero responsibility for the outcomes that inevitably come from what they say and do, it makes my blood boil.
“Was it a serious attempt or not?”
Kalvin, every suicide attempt is serious. Just the thought of making an attempt is serious… Implying that it’s only serious if they were hurt by, or worse, successful in their attempt is so wrong. :(
he gatekeeps everything damn being trans and suicide attempts like
What if it's done for attention and nothing else?
@@HighBarReviews if you get in a car accident for attention, it's still a car accident? You still need mental help if you feel the need to do that
@@jasperw.7930 suicide for attention is sick.
Car accidents for attention is crazy, makes you look like a dumbass, and you lose a car.
Big difference there pal
@@HighBarReviews if they're killing themselves for attention then that's still incredibly serious. If they're going to the lengths of taking their life for attention, obviously it's a problem. It doesn't matter the reason, suicide is always serious.
hes like "im just speaking facts!!" like lol my gender therapist who has been doing gender therapy for years has debunked everything hes said but
"im trans so i have the authority" says everything.
ulvaroom i deadass can not tell whether u are defending kalvin or not
@@oliver3202 i think you have misunderstood! I think they were referring that the phrase "I'm trans so I have the authority." Shows how ignorant Kalvin really is. I'm not them tho, so idk.
Have a nice day anyways!
@@oliver3202 bruh id rather someone shoot me than defend him.
@@ccc4ever thank you!!
Kalvin: no!! You cant present like that!!!
Trans teenagers everywhere: haha pink hair go brrrr
how else will we know they are trans without "unicorn hair "
Kalvin literally got pink hair 😼
@@probotfan270 ok
eva t Ok
Lmao i'm afraid of dyeing my hair for this
"I'm trans so I have authority" pppppfft ha- who does he think he is? The king of trans people?
Exactly, like he can only speak from his own experience not everyone's
@@ghost-husband like...he seems to have a habit of going "welp you don't experience transness and dysphoria like *III dddoooo* then you're a trender"
I mean people call him the cis king because he pases really well... So i guess he probably thinks he is a king of smth
He's such a toxic gatekeeper, it makes me so frustrated to be ftm.
yeah we all know that Jammidodger is the king because he actually accepts non-binary genders and is wholesome
Hearing Kalvin defend himself because of something that is ENTIRELY HIS FAULT instead of actually apologizing made my blood boil.
If I were him I would have shut down my TH-cam account and feel ashamed and disgusted by my actions
I didn't remember he was this fucking manipulative. I'm disgusted by the fact that I used to watch him (I was like 13-14 but still, I should've known better)
then he fucking blames the other person for being """cringy""" and saying it's just them finding more reasons to hate him. God fuck off kalvin
The least he could have done was tell his fans “hey, driving someone to attempt suicide isn’t very cash money of you” but he couldn’t even do that, he just made the entire thing about himself. Just, fuck off Kalvin, honestly!
I strongly disagree with his reaction and his statements made, but I do agree that it’s unfair to put the sole blame of a suicide attempt or self harm on one person. There is always more than one factor involved in a situation like that. And I think Kalvin absolutely contributed to that but it’s unjustified in my opinion to say that it’s his fault or that he’s the only reason
I feel like Kalvin is the type of guy to support cis men wearing makeup but the second he sees a trans man wearing concealer or something hell call them a "transtrender"
@Randall Paquet nah not everyone under 30 wears makeup
@Randall Paquet i don't have money for it, but even if i did i touch my face constantly so it would be a bad idea and I have other friends who don't wear makeup either. Despite that I think you have a point. The under 30 crowd of all genders are more open to wearing makeup.
except he does, kinda. in his videos before he's shown support towards trans guys who pass wearing make up, but not those who don't. which is so fucking stupid
@@washyourmouthoutwithpope1334 okay fair. i agree with you, its stupid and irritating that he only supports those that pass.
@User plus he only supports trans guys that wear makeup that also pass as male, not those that dont
I watch and still do watch Kalvin Garah but after watching this video and reading some of the comments I burst into tears. I hadnt realized how much he had caused me to question my gender and push me further in my verbal dysphoria to the point that my head is telling me "boys dont cry" anytime I feel hurt or say "boys dont wear girly things, or what are you a girl". It basically broke me down and watching more and more of his "trender" videos changed my view on people expecially people who would express themselves in dress differently and said that they were trans. People have different experiences. And im suprised how much an "opinion" has caused me to force myself to be cis because "I dont fit" in the "trans norms".
The whole "truscum" phase I had made me question myself constantly. I'm so glad I got over it hdjcjd
Like I knew I wanted to be a man, and it felt weird when people referred to me as a girl (still does oof), and... *oh shit I thought about painting my nails a color that isn't black oh fuck I guess I am a girl*
@@gygyuri2194 hey, thank you for sharing and I'm not trans, but eh paint them nails and wear those colors, there are a lot of feminine presenting men out there, who are still perfectly male.
Do what feels right and be wary to stay away from content that makes you question or start to be hard on yourself
Not gonna say much but *felt that.*
i was questioning if i was non binary at the time i started watching him and he made me push that thought out the door. i'm still not entirely sure what fuckin gender i am but he damaged my perception a lot
This is what pisses me off; if someone is being cringy but they are not hurting anyone, mind your own damn business and move on. Let them be happy.
Moral: don't be Kalvin
but it does hurt people when others are cringy
@@kaiyodei being cringy hurts people??? how??? if you think someone is cringey because they like a show, how is that actively harming you?
@@aarontheperson6867 as any furry who suffers from bad feelings because others think all furries are cringy delusional sexual deviants
or the assumption everyone who is into xyz is going to be into it at an "i am so embarrassed to be affiliated with these folks"
@@kaiyodei That's not the "cringy" furries' faults lol it's the fault of the people who can't use basic empathy and logic
Off topic but...
I like how your pfp is just you smiling but your user is "a lonely college student " smiling through the pain confirmed???
Literally everything in his “apology” is wrong lmao. He’s thinking legally, not ethically or emotionally. And there is zero accountability or self reflection. Wtf is wrong with him
I think he looks at everything legally cause he is a pre-law student so that's mainly what he knows and just goes off of what hes learned to represent his opinions and thoughts
of course he thinks legally the bitchass sees everything in binary
His apology is super manipulative because he’s trying to act like an opinion is a sacred right - people would lie about suicide because they don’t like his opinion, and rather than self-reflect and consider “hey what if this person isn’t lying? Why might people blame me for holding this ‘opinion’ and expressing it in a hateful enough way that my followers might think that telling someone to kill themself is acceptable? How can I improve myself as a person?” He just makes more manipulative bs that probably would result in at least some people harassing Brennan again asking for “proof” they’ll never ever accept because they don’t want to be wrong. What’s wrong with him is that he refuses to consider anything might be wrong with him.
@Max Whiteley does he believe in nonbinary, or a third, blank slate gender that has to wear a hoodie and have short hair and be 100% androgynous?
He's 19, self centered, and arrogant lol Don't expect too much. In about 10 years maybe he'll learn something about empathy we can hope. I know from my own life, I had to grow up a lot - wasn't a perfect human being by any means, was cut down and destroyed many times to come back as a better version of myself. Unfortunately he just has a large audience of emotionally stunted people like himself. They all need to grow up, and hopefully do some self reflection - can only happen when they get hit with the hard waves though so hope for some hardships so they can grow some compassion.
Off-topic: You make me believe that David Bowie has been reincarnated.
On-topic: Kalvin's biggest fear is probably being invalidated, so he targets people who deviate from his narrative and sics his fans on them. It's heartbreaking to watch the marginalised eat other marginalised.
THIS
David Bowie had sex with a child.
kaiyodei where’s your proof
@Max Whiteley That's fair. Though I've seen evidence that he only recently started telling his followers not to attack those he calls out for failing to meet his standards as the unofficial gatekeeper of the trans community. I'm your basic cishet bitch myself, so I can't speak from experience, but it seems to me as if there's an alchemical process to gender expression/ identity, and the transition period is longer and more complex for some than it is for others. Even if the ultimate goal is "passing" - which it may or may not be; some people may present as one gender while considering themselves fluid, or choose to present as one gender while still identifying as its opposite - to tear down someone who hasn't reached that leg of the journey because they have a side quest, so to speak, is cruel and reductive. Kalvin isn't a doctor, scientist, or psychologist who specialises in issues of gender or sexuality, so his authority on what constitutes "really trans" has a pretty low market value, and it would be in his best interest to let that sink in.
@@thecantsleepcaravan3118 Proof? If not, it most likely didn't happen 😊
dw kalvin only responds to small accounts who don't have experience in debating, defending themselves, or elaborating their thoughts. Mostly children or people too nice to attack him back
yep lol
but thats not true though, what about brenda? she was on tv so she probs has more subscribers then him.
@@deviltown7060 Brennen has under 4,000 subs.
Gothfruits had a large fan base (i don’t know for sure but I think they did) and the period prince defo had a large fan base, also so did Kai (Laineybot) and Bex did too (actor),Kalvin has done loads of videos about people who have a large fan base some even bigger then his own.
@@jaywilde4628 i was just going to comment this then i saw yours lol, (the rest is for the initial comment above this)also if these people are going to come straight out on the internet and claim themselves to be transgender, or trans but not trans and everything in between and have no evidence or real experience with the actual effects of being trans they shouldn't have a platform. and you don't need to be an expert to defend your case with actual evidence.
He’s making it seem like he’s the only one who can be trans.
I like your profile pic 😳🤟
@@oonooooooooo oh dang- thankies :3
Like he’s the emperor of trans people and in order to be True Trans , you need his stamp of approval
I think they are a mean person who genuinely has undesirable personality traits.
Maybe when they grow up they might realize what a horrible person they have been. But right now if they can't empathise with others. I hold no hope for their future. (orange jumpsuit)
I LOVE YOUR PFP
He also said asexuality isn’t a sexuality in a video, I never really watched him but after that I never watched him again (I’m ace btw)
Yeeaaah I remember that video, I can't remember if it was either him or his fans that said asexuals dont belong in LBTQ+ because we aren't oppressed enough and I commented saying that it was basically a fucked up thing to say, and that as an enby asexual myself and other people who identify as ace can confirm that we do experience fucked up things and that the whole reason why LGBTQ+ was created was to basically be a safe haven for people that aren't cis and straight. I remember basically getting attacked and told that we didn't belong and have our own space to go to. After that I just stopped watching Kalvin's videos because it just made me feel weird and unwelcomed
@@dakota7651 did he completely ignore the fact that asexuals have been considered "mentally ill" by psychologists for CENTURIES?Asexuality was included in the DSM only a few years ago and I don't even know if it is in the new version of the DSM.Also,the way that asexuals and aromantics have been treated is pretty much scarring and dehumanizing.Wtf does he mean by "not oppressed enough"
@@keep_it_in_a_hidden_place Yeah Im not really sure due to the fact that aces were right along with the bis, gays, trans, etc in San Fran. It's weird that they spend so much time bashing Tumblr w.hile at the same time embodying Tumblr's gatekeepy mentality of LGTBQ+. As I said. , I can't remember if it was him that said we arent welcome because we aren't oppressed enough, or his fans lmao. At the same time I can see from an outsider's perspective that doesn't actually understand what asexuality is saying "You dont go through what we go through so you dont belong." because I also invalidated myself with similar thoughts before I actually fully understood what being ace was. I thought that I could basically just force myself to pass as het, so therefor I was basically het and didn't belong. I basically did what closeted gays do in order to pass and I feel like others probably share a similar experience. It felt like in a way something was broken inside of me, I wasn't experiencing sexuality like all of my friends were. I basically had to force myself to be het to fit in. Once I figured out I was ace - when I was 18/19 at first I was met with people basically tried to diagnose me with health issues/figure out my medical history, people assuming I was either a psychopath or sociopath, or that it was due to depression. It seemed absurd that I could be pefectly content with not having sex and experienced minimal to no sexual attraction, crushes are 50/50, so I had people assuming it was either because my thyroid was fucked up, or I was a sociopath.
That was literally the video that made me stop watching him, I was so flabbergasted that he said that I had to step back from his channel and I officially unsubscribe a little while ago.
I have a question,(this is out of confusion and I dont really have much info on it) I do believe ace people are in the LGBT community cause we are very open though doesnt asexuality mean you dont have sexual desires? Making it not really a sexuality? If I'm wrong please tell me but I just want to understand it more
Somebody: *makes a small comment about Kalvin*
His fans: *JAIL!!!! JAIL FOR THE WITCH!!! JAIL FOR THE WITCH FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!!*
Most of his fans might be kids even, but he might have a diverse audience that needs to see trans people getting bullied.
I like your pfp
the moment that people begin to be actually emotionally/psychologically hurt is the moment it's no longer "just an opinion" tbh
@catgirl gf oh my god thank you so much! I will keep this in mind the next time i get told that im faking my entire identity and am a disgusting ""trender"" for literally just existing! you're so right, all those times that ive gotten called slurs and called disgusting for just being a queer person i couldve just chosen to not be emotionally damaged. hell, i didnt need to be emotionally damaged when i almost got kicked out and was told that my existence was tearing my family apart! you're so right, from now on i will just choose to not be hurt by anything! thank you for this wonderful revelation, you absolute cunt
@catgirl gf Yes, so everyone who is being heinously abused, dehumanized, and discriminated against are choosing to feel negative emotions! Maybe the world would be a better place if people saw your new discovery and just chose to stop feeling emotions, or as you put it “emotionally hurt”! You should try working as a therapist! I mean the last time I checked emotions are naturally occurring scientifically speaking, and things that are natural are also scientifically speaking not choices. When someone slaps you on the arm it hurts, and that’s not a choice. But apparently if someone emotionally abuses you, you have full control over how emotionally hurt you are. But I’ll take your word for it! Every time someone beats me, insults me, or hurts me in anyway I’ll just remind myself to invalidate how I naturally feel because according to your logic I can just simply not be emotionally hurt by choice!
@catgirl gf False.
@catgirl gf it's about as much of a choice as skin color sweetie ❤️ which means not at all.
@catgirl gf I don't see where you ever stated facts aside from the vaccine and mitochondria ones but okay. keep pretending that non-binary gender identities haven't existed for thousands of years lmao.
“If you attempt suicide it is your fault and you can never blame someone else for a choice that you make” If you bully/cyberbully someone and they attempt suicide as a result, you need to accept your part in what lead that person there. You are responsible to a point.
Well I mean he wasn't bullying the person his fans were soooo
BAYLA that has nothing to do w my point lmao
@@romaniesophie5035 but it does. He didn't bully them. He always says not to go send someone hate. He's only said it once because someone was harassing him, and he just said they need to be banned.
Yes, his fans can be very radical, I'm not gonna pretend they aren't, but if you watch his videos you'll see how much he doesn't want any of his fans to do that. He literally always says that his fans shouldn't be going anywhere to send hate because that's not what he wants.
It was his fans who sent that hate, not him.
Stone Chase I do watch his videos. I am a fan of his. My comment was not accusing him of anything, I was simply disagreeing with a statement he made.
Rom Rom I think the problem is that were part of the section of his fanbase trying to get others in board and your commenting on a video that completely misrepresents Kalvin as a person.
This whole situation feels like Kalvin's gone too far in trying to look good to the conservative cis people, and is too afraid to back away so he just keeps diggind himself deeper and deeper into a hole. I'm convinced that Kalvin's views come from a place of dysphoria and wanting to be accepted, but his pain doesn't justify the pain he causes others.
In one of her videos Kat Blaque said something I never really thought about before: if you want to go stealth, having a channel dedicated to your experiences as a trans person isn't really the best idea. He talks so much about passing and things like that, but given his following, a lot more people know that he's trans than he'd probably like. His publicity may be also fueling his dysphoria, which - again - is a hole he dug for himself, and in no way does it make the situation okay.
yep i think you're right
The "being a good trans™" and trying to cater to transphobes trap is so easy to fall into but it's not okay, I don't hate Kalvin but he's so shitty to trans people
He’s one bad video away from his horde turning on him.
@@gateauxq4604 tbh I'm pretty confident he'll always find his audience, plenty of people agree with his opinions. Unless he does something truly awful, he will get views. I mean, this situation is messed up, and still the vast majority of his subscribers is on his side.
I also honestly don't think he's such a terrible person. He isn't very careful with the things he says, probably because he believes they can't actually hurt people. That doesn't mean he's not gonna have a fanbase, it means his viewers are mostly gonna be young and not think too much about how the content they like might affect others.
Its real fucked up. He tries so hard to appeal to cis people in general but in the end, they dont care about us. Ive used to be one of his fans and his mentality of "transtrender" and fitting his experience into a cookie cutter way where if you dont experience gender like he does then you're not trans, has really made me doubt my identity and im still struggling to confirm my identity because of people like him and blaire white, etc. Watching Kat Blaque has really validated me since then though.
Kalvin thinks trans people can’t be transphobic - he’s wrong. It’s an internalized hatred, a feeling that if he had to suffer, so does everyone else in order to “prove” they are trans. i’m so sorry for what he’s experienced in his past, but it gives him no right to continually harass people who don’t meet his awful standards that cater to cis people. When i was discovering my nonbinary identity, i came across his videos and felt so horrible about myself. his videos aren’t an “opinion” - they are ableist, transphobic nonsense that harm people. an opinion is “i don’t like the color green,” not “you’re not really trans because you haven’t done this or that.”
I don’t like this guy one bit. It’s like, we get it, you’re really really trans and other people who you’ve never met are definitely not. 🙄
Yes to all of that and Kalvin *himself* is honestly proof that trans people can be transphobic
look at blaire white. great example.
Yeah its sad
i feel like kalvin would be transphobic if he wasn't trans
edit: he IS transphobic, i am corrected
he *is* transphobic. just not the full package kind.
hes "trans people that dont meet his expectation of trans" -phobic
@Ian Popovic Disagrees? He went and insulted and harassed a bunch of enby people because they didn't fit his personal criteria as "being trans." And even if he didn't, non-binary people are trans. If you say they aren't real or are faking it, you're transphobic, because that's the same thing people say to binary trans people.
@Ian Popovic "non binary technically isn't trans because it doesn't necessarily include transitiong. it's even in the name; "trans"ition
"
Uh, what? Non-binary people DO transition. Literally the person in the video takes hormones, for example, and various non-binary people also get top surgery or even bottom surgery. And even then, changing they way you present in public, (i.e., name change, pronoun change, getting the symbol on their ID cards changed to X, and more) IS transitioning. And finally, transitioning doesn't make you trans anyway, your gender not matching your sex assigned at birth does. Or are you one of those people who demand every trans person get every kind of surgery and treatment there is or they're not trans? Because if you are, no wonder you don't see why Kalvin is transphobic.
i mean he is transphobic but ppl wouldn’t be scared to call him transphobic if he was cis
Yes, Kalvin, the possibility that I have ptsd has nothing to do with the gaslighting that I experienced as a child.
he never said anything about that. He said that his PTSD did not lead him being trans? what the heck are you taking about mate?
@@Zubritski.25 i believe its more specifically in regards to the comment kalvin made about the actions of others not impacting someone mental health (albeit it was more specifically about suicide)
Lol right? He sounds like Onision lmao
@@monarch_apostate thank you
@@4everNaturalBeauty thank you
Kalvin garrah will excuse everything he says as an “opinion”. Making fun of someone’s appearance, gender identity and such is not an opinion, it’s bullying.
It is an opinion but opinions are not some holy thing that can’t be criticised. They have awful, harmful opinions that they need to call in to question.
It can be both an opinion and bullying
Rhonald Neitzel yes exactly
hi jean it’s alyx nice to see u here😳
@@lilyD11 ok first of all it doesnt have to be constant people bully people even if it isnt constant bulling like regardless if it isnt constant or not that shit is disrespectful and ignorant deadass people are sensitive yes but that doesnt give him a right to deadass be disrespectful to people he dont even know that's on period I said what I said
“you need to be ready to accept criticism for posting things online”, proceeds to make a whole video about how he shouldn’t be criticized for making a video that pushed someone to attempt suicide
The part where he says “nobody else is responsible for you hurting yourself” makes him sound totally emotionless and clearly he lacks empathy. Yikes.
Yup
What I was thinking when he said that was
Sometimes you feel trapped in a corner with no way out
Not empathy, compassion. Many people are born with low levels of empathy and cannot help it. Compassion, however, is absolutely a choice, which is something Kalvin makes no effort to show others.
yep. sure, that person could've stayed off the internet and not given potential to be harmed. but he also could have chosen not to be a complete arsehole and tear them down.
Kalvin really trying to call his bullying "critique"....like buddy what kind of critique is laughing at someone
Yeah. I see that in the animation and art community too
Here’s my thing. I have to listen to critiques in university. Any critique starts with taking the subject seriously, and honestly.
Kalvin won’t do that. If he said those things about my early art works, to that big of an audience ? I honestly can’t imagine how I’d react, let alone attacking my identity.
UHHHHHHHHHHHH obviously if they didn't wanna be bul- Criticized they should have had a less CriNge identity! Or stayed off thee internet all together, never letting their CRinGe identity be seen by the world. I mean, like, it's basically YOUR fault if Kalvin chooses to buCritique you, for being present as an identity he doesn't like. right? R I G H T ?
@User "Playful personality" Sooo misgendering someone who doesn't pass and then bullying them for not passing is "playful"? Jfc, you're dense.
he makes me so angry.
1. he is passing the blame the person who tried to k*ll themsef.
the person tried to do so because of the hate HIS FANS were sending them.
2. he is trying to tell other people how they can identify
you can NOT tell someone what gender they identify as. that is not your choice.
I’m not gonna pretend that I completely understand all these “transtrender” people but who the fuck cares if there non binary or use they/them pronouns. Im not saying that some of their content isn’t cringeworthy but are a lot of straight cisgender people that equally as cringe . If you don’t like how these people express themselves don’t watch it’s as simple as that.
I'm cis gendered, however i find it disgusting for people to Misgender others even if they don't agree with their gender. I would never do that and if i ever do its on accident and I'm quick to correct myself, he's a bully
and then you get honest people who are hydrogender
Ian Popovic gender is already made up clown.
he/she? those are just words baby boy
Ian Popovic even if you don’t agree with it, you should always respect other people’s ideals and beliefs, especially if they’re not harming anyone.
@@smellulater1123 but "a gender that is like a swamp" still sounds so fucking stupid.
@@smellulater1123 you can call a gender by any name you want, you can call anything by any name it doesn't change the fact that it exists.
I used to watch him when I was in 8th grade and a "woke centrist." I've grown and realized that at the end of the day, someone's sexual and gender identity, whether or not I think it's silly and "believe" it or not, is none of my business. As long as you are happy and not hurting people, then you can identify as whatever you want, and neither I nor the people I watch can invalidate your identity. I'm glad I stopped watching him and educated myself, and I'm ashamed that I subscribed to him.
he preaches how its all “facts” but ive never seen him link a SINGLE source.
I used to watch Kalvin, I agreed with his views and thought ‘transtrenders’ were CRINGEY. Turns out it was internalized transphobia! Two years later I discovered that I’m nonbinary.
me too, his opinions left me feeling invalid 😗✌️
Same, he made me believe that I have to hardcore dypshoria in oder to be trans (same with Blaire White). It turns out my hatred for transtrenders was internalized transphobia and misandry because I didn't believe men could be feminine and if trans femboy exist they're just doing it for attention. Kalvin also made me believe that non-binary is not real and same thing for genderfluid people (that was before I realize that I was a bigender transmasc).
i never watched his content beyond a video or two (until i heard about him harassing enby people) but i used to not respect non-binary people because, one, i didn't understand how gender works and i thought they were trying to "piggy-back" off trans people and were trivializing something serious, and two, i think deep down part of me was scared of the idea i would be perceived as non-binary because i never fit with gender roles and it was a scary idea
years and actual research done later, I'm female-agender genderfluid. imagine that...
im nonbinary and i when i watched his videos, i would get so dysphoric to the point of nausea, dizziness, and tremors.
literally same
I've noticed the 'transtrender' accusations disproportionately affect people who ID as NB. I know contra covered it in her way but I think TH-cam would still be interested in hearing what you have to say about it.
i think i'll make a video about it, yes :)
well thats because real nonbinary people are more rare then binary trans people and most nonbinary identifies are bullshit and not scientifically proven.
True @@deviltown7060
@@deviltown7060 What gender identity is "scientifically" proven? The word "identity" is not a purely biological standard, it's a label that is mostly based out of social environment and exposure throughout a person's life. (FYI: chromosomes don't denote gender, not even sex, there is too much margin for variations in phenotype expression)
@@khairmartinezpuertas1524 male and female are scientifcally proven, I'm not sure if nonbinary has been scientifcally proven but since there could be a possibility of it existing I will respect people who identify as it also the word identity is purely biologically standerd.
Honestly, people like Kalvin whom are anti-Enby are a good chunk of the reason I've stayed in the Non-Binary Closet.
Same. It honestly feels so awful I'll probably never get to be open about my identity in real life because people, LGBT and not, will call me "delusional" and accuse me of making a fool out of trans people. I constantly worry if friends and family will find out and agonize over the things they would say.
But yeah, totally doing it for the trend! Sure do feel cute and unique and definitely get lots of positive attention and not uh... harassment for literally just existing.
i genuinly cannot stand him. i used to watch him when i was still questioning, and it definitely made me hate myself lie 1000000% more. I feel bad for the kids that watch him and end up internalising all their transphobia. (srry for spelling errors,, im illeterate.)
For real!!! I am still realizing and trying to unpack the self hatred I gained by watching that shit.
You're not illiterate.
Illiterate means you can't read or write at all, whatsoever, not so much as their name. You can read and write comprehensively enough to communicate, and have a really good vocabulary, so you're definitely not illiterate. Don't worry about spelling mistakes either, they really don't matter.
Breaking news: Trans people are humans, and sometimes humans are awful. Trans people can still be bullies and do bad things- we can disagree with them and still respect their identity.
As a transman myself, I used to have a hard time understanding or accepting other trans people or nonbinary individuals whose experience with gender was different than my own. I never crossed over into bullying and demeaning people, but I would get kind of angry about it, especially when someone said they were trans-male but didn't experience gender in a similar way as me.
Then I kind of grew up, I talked to friends who identified as gender fluid or non-binary, I spent some time educating myself. I admit I still sometimes get confused, but I realized most of my anger was coming from my own gender dysphoria, pain, insecurities, and fears and I didn't want to project that onto other people. People need to be free to explore their own gender identity and sexuality and figure out where they stand. For some people, it's more cut and dry and for others, it's a lifelong journey of discovering how they are most comfortable and that's okay. We don't help anybody by gatekeeping and bullying within our own community.
this was in my recommended videos today after i watched kalvin's latest video. thanks for making this - it gave me some perspective. i do actually agree with some of the stuff he says on some topics (SOME of it) but regardless of views on trans stuff it's clear to see that he is just... not a nice guy. making entire videos dedicated to making fun of people who haven't actually done anything wrong is just cruel. i'm going to try and stop myself from watching his videos in the future - they aren't good for me to watch or for the trans community in general.
this comment made my day. i'm so happy that this helped you get perspective. it's difficult when you watch a youtuber often, the ~parasocial relationships~ can get in the way. thanks for hearing me out
Okay, but he isn't making fun of people. He also isn't harassing anyone. He never discloses usernames, and tells people to not send any hate to that person. And if you try to pull up his latest video and talk about that, he was being very rudely misgendered and told that because his little sister got hit by a car and he watched, he was trans. So,,,you know what? He isn't the bad guy. He is trying to protect the trans community from idiots.
G W yep. There’s a COUPLE of opinions he has that I agree with (ex. Don’t force androgyny on children, just as You shouldn’t force agab) but overall I don’t like him or his channel.
@@stormy9465 "he isn't making fun of people" 😂😂😂
@@tobithetabby6376 Translation: "I am also an asshole, so I have no problem with his behavior."
He’s letting his law degree get to his head. “So I’m not liable for their attempt” “you can’t hold me accountable” he’s treating this like a goddamn lawsuit when that’s a human life he’s fucking with
"I think it's really weak-minded to assume that everybody on the internet has good intentions" he says, while making videos that cater to people who encourage him to behave hatefully. He should watch Innuendo Studios' video "How to radicalize a normie"...
Thing is, I understand where Kalvin is coming from with his views, but there's also the reality that some people are just different and we just need to accept it, not gatekeep, you don't know other people more than they know themselves so you don't have the authority to tell other people whether they are really trans or not.
Also, the part where Kalvin said it's not his fault other people are harassed by his fans and are driven to suicide is very ignorant of him. He has a massive platform which comes with responsibility and influence, so yes it does matter whether he has 10 subs or 10M subs. Actions have consequences he needs to consider. Not to mention this line of thinking justifies irl bullying too, it's the victim's fault if they get driven to suicide because they get physically/verbally/sexually harassed. This is victim blaming at its finest and it's bad.
Kalvin is allowed to voice his views on the internet.
However, these specific "transtrender" reaction videos aren't /just/ an "opinion"; they include images, text and sometimes account names and the harassment that these people experience is real - that's the consequence of having a platform as big as his. He knows that his fans will go after these people, because that's what they always do when he posts these videos. His complete refusal to take any responsibility for what's happening is really worrying, and says a LOT about how removed he's become from the reality of what he's actually doing. The people being targeted are often young people who are a part of the LGBTQ community. Whether people believe that they are "really trans" or not doesn't really matter. What matters is that people are being targeted by a TH-camr and social media influencer with a large platform and dedicated fan-base. The victim blaming in his "let's talk about suicide" video is.. chilling.
@@korviday Agreed with everything, I don't think he should be censored, just that his actions have consequences especially with a platform this size that he failed to acknowledge.
This is like trans gamergate.
Rad Lad Agreed. Like I know that he says ‘don’t harass them’, but people with that many subscribers should know that even if you do not tell your subscribers specifically ‘attack them’ or share their username, you ARE presenting them in a light that is ‘deserving’ of bullying and harassment.
But tenders actually exist we gatekeeping is necessary we can't just accept white people in the black community so we shouldn't accept people without any dysphoria in the trans community. I can't stand people saying that gatekeeping is transphobic while every other oppressed group gatekeeps
korviday He says not to harass the people and his cratiqes of the "tenders" are more criticisms of the community than of the actual people themselves basically saying I'm gonna make an example out of you.
He says "you can't put anything on the internet and not expect to get critiqued" and yet he can't stand when anyone has something to say about him lol
as a former kalvin stan, i can tell you with absolute confidence that most of the shit his fans do is out of pure insecurity in themselves and the need to make themselves feel more valid. why else would anyone be so focused on whether or not someone else is trans enough? the "it makes us look bad" excuse is bullshit because we will always look bad in certain peoples eyes, those people shouldn't fucking matter anyways, stop trying to find acceptance in places where you have to constantly prove yourself. i started catching on to the fact that kalvin, and i as a fan of kalvin, was wrong after he and another youtuber kept posting about another youtuber. i checked out that youtuber, honestly, because i wanted a laugh at someone else's expense, but then i realized that that youtuber had not posted about kalvin and his friend at all aside from a post on his story defending himself. from then on, i started to realize how toxic kalvins videos are, how every time i watched them i got so dysphoric that i would sit there and cry, how i got more and more suicidal. at a certain point, enough was enough, i banned myself from watching any trans youtubers videos and gave myself time to think for my goddamn self instead of letting kalvin and his fans tell me what to think. i got myself on testosterone last december, and gained a lot more confidence. i realized that i had also given up pretty much everything i enjoyed because i was afraid of not being trans enough. as of now, i am able to enjoy putting on makeup, cosplaying, wearing more feminine clothing in public, and i'd even like to "crossdress" and crossplay once i'm at a point where i can be comfortable enough to do that. does that mean i'm not trans? no. i'm still on testosterone, i still identify as a man, i still have dysphoria, i still want surgery. those things are never going to change no matter how feminine i present. the only thing i could see changing, is the possibility of eventually identifying as non-binary, and if that happens, that's okay! it took work, but now i see right through kalvin and crews bullshit. for someone so logical, he sure does contradict himself a lot. he and his fans should just let people live, they'd be a lot happier that way.
Great video, super informative. I'm a grade 7 and 8 teacher, and I see how the erasure and bullying of non-binary kids affects them deeply and daily. The resources you listed can help me better advocate for them to students, parents, and other teachers and admin. Thank you.
wow! I'm super humbled that this video reached you. Thank you for watching and for being an ally to atypical identities, especially as a teacher. Seeing accepting adults in positions of authority when young can really make a change.
This is so wholesome and amazing. I'm so happy there are teachers who keep up with these topics and put out positivity 💖💖
Gabby K 7 and 8th grade? Non-binary kids? What? How come I never see this stuff in countries outside the US/Canada/UK?
@@notfunny1410 The simple answer is culture. These identities exist in kids that age all over the place, and always have, but in the US/Canada/UK/ect. information about NB identities and that you can be NB is much more easily accessible and so much more people that age have a word they can use to express what they were feeling already, examples of what they can be, etc.
Give some time for culture to change in other places too and you'll see the same thing cropping up in other countries, too. It's the reason it's now US/Canada/UK and not just the US.
Robin Excalibur don't you think its bs? Lmao only people with an internet connection have this you don't (or rarely) see it in Africa, South American, other places in Europe and Asia. And don't you think its weird how all of them are also on the extreme left?
Kalvin's whole channel is based on him wanting to distance himself from the 'fake' trans, because he doesn't want cis people to take THEM seriously, but he wants to be taken seriously. He literally cannot fathom that other people experience gender differently, and it's very ironic coming from a transman.
agreed
But he takes they/them pronouns and non bianary people seriously he made an entire video on why non bianary identities are valid
@@baylordiamond5611 So what? He's still a bully to these people.
Kitty Grimm his followers bully them, even when he explicitly says not to, and he’s only rude to people who claim to be trans/nb but make no effort to pass (even if they have supportive parents) or experience no dysphoria
@@baylordiamond5611 They/Them aren't the only nonbinary pronouns though.
i physically cringed when hearing kalvin’s voice. i have such a negative connotation with his existence
Kalvin: I don't wanna harrass people.
Also Kalvin: harrasses people and tells them that they aren't really trans just because their experience is different to his.
As a NB male his content caused so much harm and trauma to me why does he still have such a huge platform? 🤦🏻
"It's not my fault that someone attempted suicide just because I know I have a large, aggressive fan base and continue to make videos targeting specific people KNOWING that my fan base will harass them. It's my fan's fault. Oh, not my fans. My *real* fans wouldn't do that. But I'm still going to make videos targeting specific people knowing all this. Because it gets me money."
Well the trans community has a problem with doing this in general and kalvin has spoken out against that
I hate how he keeps saying that we don't know if the person actually attempted, but then implies he knows they were lying about it. Or how he thinks he gets to decide whats "cringy" and thus, needs "critique". I've gotta make a response video to his latest vid, it's absolute crap.
The "let's talk about suicide" video was basically him saying "I mean, they're probably lying for attention, but even if they're not then I'm not responsible at all; and it's a problem in their brains and has nothing to do with me. They shoudln't be on the internet. But also there's no proof so they're probably lying. But if they're not, then it wasn't my fault" repeated for 12 minutes. He's become completely detached from the reality of what he's doing. It's sad, because he could be doing good with his platform. Talking about the realities of being a trans guy, vlogs.. I hear he likes making music. Why he keeps this transtrender thing up is.. beyond me. Views? A whole lot of hate. I think that his worldview has become so twisted that he actually believes that "transtrenders" are the number one problem for trans people today.
TL;DR I just want him to stop targeting people.
he's such a weasly piece of shit who needs to experience some hardship he can't weasel out from
"Let's talk about suicide"? "Let's talk about how I want to have my cake and eat it too", more like.
The self-hatred explanation makes sense, yet it still feels so baffling to me how a trans person, of all people, is this unable to empathize.
@@korviday as an adult, I think I'm equipped to say that there are two sides to the idea of cringe... and looking back, I'm glad I have the ability to identify both.
one side of cringe is the embarrassment that you get from looking back at your young self's interests and feeling like those interests were actually lame, but also knowing exactly how seriously you took those interests anyway. you had no cynicism, and you had no irony... you were a weird, doofy kid. and that can be embarrassing to confront if you're still concerned with the image you project to others, which everyone is.
the other side of cringe is looking back and being embarrassed by your own behavior. maybe you believed something that was wrong, or that you didn't fully understand... and maybe you acted badly towards others based on this false or incomplete information. maybe your young self's attempts at being cool manifested as being an asshole, and maybe you're ashamed that you ever acted that way.
both of these things serve a function in the process of growing up. I think everyone goes through embarrassing phases that become nostalgic to look back at... and sometimes, even if a thing is considered lame by a lot of people, you'll like it anyway. true maturity is learning how to love what you love no matter how other people consider it. in this sense, I think people should embrace cringe content so much more than they do, because it's mostly just young people unabashedly self actualizing. young people defining and becoming themselves with no irony, or cynicism... it's something frighteningly raw and genuine. and the world can try to make that seem embarrassing, but nobody is obligated to give a shit about how much they'll be judged. this is the kind of cringe that someone like Kalvin critiques.
and the second kind of cringe is the kind that Kalvin _is._
he is behaving in ways that I really hope he outgrows. if he can look back at this behavior and feel remorse for the way that he has behaved, then that's good for him. feeling embarrassed or ashamed when you look back at the things you used to do that would've hurt people? that's a sign of growth. even if you go through that phase during your development, you shouldn't stay there. you should move past it. and I think there's a kind of irony in how backwards this boy has these things in his head.
so what I guess I'm saying is... cringe can come from valid places when it's a critique of hurtful behavior. and cringe can be completely unnecessary when it's shaming you for a genuine interest that you would otherwise have no trouble loving in all its embarrassingly earnest glory. in life, you should strive to grow into your own self, and grow out of bad habits. liking cringe content will bring you together with other people who aren't afraid to like that stuff too. it's a unifying experience. whereas behaving in ways that make other people feel like shit will only make the number of people that you will accept without critique smaller and smaller. being hypercritical will isolate you eventually... and being accepting means more than just technically tolerating people who are different than you.
ok look hear you dumb fuck, literally ALL OF THE PEOPLE he has covered are usually adults who have the money, the support and just in general self enviroment to transition then they don't and just dye their fucking hair and have their tits out saying they are some made up gender of that they are ''FTM'' even though they look more girlier then usual.
apparently i’m a “trender” because i:
-use she/they pronouns
-dress feminine despite being nonbinary
-identify as a nonbinary demigirl
-don’t feel the need for any kinda of surgery or hormones
-don’t feel crippling dysphoria everyday and cry at any mention of my deadname
people aren’t going to fit every mold you try to place on them, gender identity and gender expression are two completely different things. this isn’t the 50s, boy doesn’t mean the color blue and race cars and girl doesn’t mean the color pink and barbies. the fact that he doesn’t understand that attacking someone’s identity and putting them on blast in front of all his fans is in fact bullying is very concerning.
wtf is a nonbinary demigirl. and if you dont feel dysphoria then why are you "transitioning"
Mason basically i don’t feel entirely female or male, i lean more towards female but because i do feel dysphoria about my chest and my deadname i’m not cis. never in my comment did i say that i don’t experience dysphoria, i said that i don’t feel *crippling* dysphoria. furthermore no, i don’t want to get surgery because i don’t feel comfortable doing that, that doesn’t make me or anyone else less valid. i plan on socially transitioning when i move out but i don’t owe you anymore explanation on that. please do research before you make a negative comment on someone else’s identity for the reasons mentioned in the video.
I thought I was the only one. Thanks for writing this.
you are valid :)
nonbinary people are so cool haha
You are the exact same as me. We are siblings. We are one.
i got called a trans trender for never wearing a binder (im a trans man, just got top surgery and feel great! ayy) and feeling more comfortable with sports bras. even though dysphoria is unique to every person who experiences it (if they experience it) and my main trigger was and still is tight fitted clothing on my chest and abdomen so i literally could not wear one.
also i like my hair on the longer side.
the moment you arent the extreme of your gender expectations and dont live and experience life the way they do they throw a fit and its tragic.
Kalvin hurt me. Not directly, but he did. He said my identity is not valid. He said my boyfriends identity is not valid. He said my best friend’s identity is not valid. He’s attacking these young people and I’m scared that he will attack someone close to me, though that’s probably not likely. I’m waiting for his mindless minions to come to the comments (which they probably have) and say “he’s allowed to have opinions” and yeah, he is. But he doesn’t need to be shouting them to millions of people and brushing it off when the person he attacked does something bad. I wonder if he knows what impulse is. Sometimes people can’t control their impulse because they are so emotionally hurt and in so much mental stress, and they hurt themself or worse. I know I have. Kalvin is a toxic TH-camr. I regret giving him the views I did.
Agreed, sorry about all that's happened, and I love your profile pic 🥰
let me guess. star and void gender?
@@kaiyodei genderfluid and demiboy, if I remember corectly. That was at I time that I was still figuring myself out. I'm a trans guy,but at the time I thought I was genderfluid.
@@kyleplatte4257 afab or amab demiboy? because i feel like, being demi but still part of "birth gender" would just be like saying "I'm afab half girl I'm totally transgender" just seems like a strech as well as it sounding like "I'm not like other girls" is a gender.
and if transgender is in the brain, how can someone be fluid? then again you don't need your own brain to be a person. D.I.D proves that
@@kaiyodei weather someone is afab or amab is none of your business buy they are afab, also gender is a social construct lol. and yeah, DID proves that. and a lot of things. It mystifies me. why are we talking about DID though???
Imagining using the word "SJW" in 2019
B-atiful! as a right winger I think it's become cringy too
the fuck should we use then? delusional suffragette?
My friends and I have started coining them all as ''Karens''
Not quite sure if it fits though lmao
@COUNTRYBOI Iluvyou i just use the term fake wokes or extreme wokes
because that's what y'all are I mean what else are we supposed to call y'all
read this before commenting pls:
- kalvin, if you're reading this.. i know you like to make music. dude, put your energy into that instead.
- for people saying that "im blaming kalvin for someone's suicide" i'm not. - it was only an attempt (thank god) - i'm just documenting and exposing a very worrying situation. this is a wake up call.
- *i don't "hate" kalvin. i just want him to wake the fuck up and stop doing this.*
can you pin this please? i didn't find it until i scrolled for a while
he does youtube as a past time and stress relief, not to make you happy. sorry bro
Hanako Kun bruh that’s literally not the point at all
Life with kids the point is that he dosnt give a shit. People aren’t born to serve you
Hanako Kun are you kidding me? I never said that he did! you’re still not getting the point of this video. god you’re immature.
Kalvin (and Blair White) are a big part of why I am afraid to come out/discuss being nonbinary even with other trans people. He HATES feminine nonbinary people with a passion, and I don’t understand it.
This was such a breath of fresh air for me. As an afab struggling with gender identity I often look to transmasc people for guidance, or someone to look up to but time and time again I find people exactly like Kalvin, or people who openly support his actions. It's exhausting going through this circle jerk of transmasc people putting down others in the community, often times people like me who struggle with identity and don't fit the binary. Instant subscribe, you have my respect.
Hey sorry to bother you but I see the term "AFAB" a lot of places and I'm not really sure what it means can you possibly help me out?
@@alysss_zoc "Assigned Female At Birth" !!
@@artsyheartsy361 oh okay tysm!
Shout-out to all the other kids who stumbled across his videos while they were questioning themselves, and then felt pressured to act a certain way and still remember feeling guilty for considering themselves tenders ✌️
Personally I realised I'm not trans, but I felt extremely guilty to tell people what I had realised, and I thought I was a trender and a horrible person for ever questioning myself,, would have been better off if I had never watched Kalvin but here I am
kalvin was my first ever trans youtuber and as a genderfluid kid finally finding a way to describe themselves, it fucked me up. i was convinced i was just a confused transboy because i had dysphoria and cause of his videos
I was always trans, but people like him helped me convince myself I'm cis and to hate nb people for yeaaars. It was internalized self hate and insecurity that ended up projected onto others. Whenever I had moments of wondering if I was trans, I'd brush it off and be all "i'm not one of those weirdos looking for attention."
All of this inner community hatred was pushed along directly by terfs, and it's only now i understand why they're detested so much, because they're not just hateful to trans women, they're hateful towards literally ALL lgbtq+ people. any negative rhetoric? probably traced back to terfs. it's quite sad honestly. even aphobic propaganda is traced back to terfs, believe it or not.
Off topic and months late, but ever since he claimed Asexuals (such as myself, hello aro/ace here) do not belong in the LGBTQ+ community, I lost all respect for him.
That’s what it took?? He’s been bullying nonbinary people or gnc trans people who don’t fit his “quota” but you draw the line at aphobia (not that aphobia is excusable in anyway)???
@@ReaperInTheFlowers I looked into his content when I was young and uneducated on Transgender topics. He was the first to educate me, once I learned about the "Asexuals don't belong" video, I left his content. Then, I got educated on my own with better, more tolerable sources.
So, sorry I was a dumb child who wasn't aware he was bullying people simply for their identities.
Didn’t like him from the start. Damn. Acephobic...
they don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@LB-ie7rb what
Sorry for this rant by As a questioning possible Asexual who never really cared for pronouns (literally he, she, they/them I don't really care? Though I some times lean to he and they pronouns, ) and I've never really had a word for it not have I ever identified myself as anything other than ’gender-qeer’ or ’non-binary’ occasionally when I wasn't sure how to explain but I was still never comfortable with labels, seeing shit like this makes me sick because so many people including me are struggling to understand ourselves and I've suffered so much internal struggle and seen my friends and even family suffer from people who think they have ’the right’ to run their mouths and share their ’Opinion’ which is just thinly veiled bullying and harassment. FOR ANYONE who needs to hear this, you are not alone, you don't need to understand who you are just yet, it's ok to question yourself, it's okay to change your mind. If your an adult or still a teen it doesn't matter life is all about figuring out who you are and who you wanna be, don't let some brat on the internet make you feel like shit because THEY DON'T KNOW YOU, you are who you want to be and no one else, end of discussion.
Slightly off-topic, but if you're looking for a more specific label, maybe some of these labels will will fit well!
Pangender:
Your gender is infinite, and you identify as any/all genders within your culture. This can sometimes include the lack of gender as well, usually in the case of feeling indifferent towards being agender VS being gendered/allogender.
Trigender:
A gender identity which includes any three genders. For example, you could be a man, a woman, and a nonbinary person, either simultaneously or varying/fluctuating between them.
Ambonec:
Being a man, woman, and neither simultaneously. This can be interpreted in many ways, such as being a specific subset of trigender, or having a paradoxical identity.
You know, this video aged so well cause not only is it still relevant, but Brennen made a come back, calling Kalvin out. People are starting to take back their identity. Out of everything in 2020, them coming back was honestly the best part.
Despite this being a year, before the downfall of Kalvin, it's a great a video and it seriously aged well!
He drove someone to suicide and has the absolute gall to say that he’s not a bully? Gross.
No one ever wants to see themselves as the villain of their own story, I suppose.
Hey, sorry but this is coming from a double suicide survivor. It is NO ONES fault if someone kills themself. No one but theirs. They're the one that did it. Don't ever fucking blame anyone for someones suicide. It's fucking disgusting. Yes a person can contribute to depression but in the end it is the persons choice to end their own life.
Sorry for getting so triggered but PLEASE never say that dumb shit ever again cause it's not true.
@@jessicajohnson4992 no it is fucking not. Reread my comment. I said they can contribute to depression but in the end the person killed themselves.
Rigiroony
Agreed.
@@Rigiroony I agree, but in the end it really is somebodies fault. If you bully somebody and harass them whilst you're aware they're suicidal, you know exaclty what you're doing. It DRIVES the person to commit instead of seeking help a lot of the time, or it just generally makes it worse and overwhelming so they dont want to get help. As a double sucide survivor as well,,,, Kelvin knew what he was doing and its extremely disgusting and dangerous.
Rigiroony That’s some real victim blaming bullshit. Suicide attempts are not rational decisions. They’re oftentimes induced by depressive episodes which can be a consequence of bullying. While yes it’s hard to put full blame on the tormentors, they definitely have some responsibility in that case, especially if they knew of the circumstances or were in position to know and just ignored it. As a suicide survivor yourself it’s astonishing that you don’t know better.