Update: mental health issues wrecked the year

been out of action for six months. wanted to make this awhile ago but wasn't able to.
my health took a turn for the worse and I'm not much better.
this isn't anyone's fault, the complications from my multiple physical and mental illnesses make me an incredibly difficult person to treat. multiple specialists are involved, it's just slow going. still upset with the psychiatric response, but it is what it is.
I will get back to recording. just don't know when.

[@PhoenixSplash]

Sometimes I can't stand doctors. I had one trying to diagnose my chronic migraines. They attributed by migraines to my high blood pressure, but then they ruled out my blood pressure for being white coat (stressed around doctors). Then they gave up on finding the cause of the Migraines. Then they sent me home with medication that would make my entire head numb. Now my whole life, I have to find ways to live around my migraines without taking those scary pills (that ended up not working anyway).
I'm glad you are still making music. Sometimes when some of my musician friends make a song that gets over 100,000 views, they stop making music completely. As if music was just a tool for them to get attention for a brief moment. Not truly an artform for them, but a little prop. Then I listen to the song and it's the most commercial song they could have made...and it's like they lost themselves somewhere along the way musically.
Music is very therapeutic for the mind too. It's like a very specialized scream for some of us.
Hope all gets better, and I look forward to the new music. :)

[@pointlesswasteoftime]

Music is the one thing I can't give up. I tried, going as far as trying to destroy my hand during the early stages of my illness, just so I could give up. But it's not something I'm able to let go of.
With music I think it's either an artistic thing or it's "someone who plays music", and that scale is on a spectrum. Each person has to choose at some point how much of the art to keep, the pushing and striving for expression, and how much commodifying to add so it has more appeal.
Commodity vs art. I find it sad when people swing the bar all the way over to commodity, but finding a balance is understandable. It's a tough gig since we aren't getting paid, and everyone makes constant excuses why we should earn money doing anything except actually making music (selling tshirts, streaming, reactions, teaching, etc).
It is sad when people drop music entirely, but very common. Most musicians stop before the age of 30 and never play again.
I'd love 100k views... My short film two years ago got over 250 views and I was happy with that. Not bad for a self produced art flick about how boring my life was. XD
I don't know what Rubbish is on, it's over 100, even that's good.
Thanks for the support, and thank you for the comment!