Tonja - I grew up like this or worse as well. As soon as I moved out everything was clean all the time. My mother is gone - and when I see my father he literally pokes funnat me for having/wanting things clean. It took me decades to get past the mental scars my parents inflicted on me as a child growing up in this mess.
I remember reading an article re: the children of hoarders, and those particular children (now adults) were just like you: extremely diligent toward being clean and vigilant re: messes. One young woman even threw out her diploma (college) because she was afraid of paper stacking up. According to the therapist consulted for the article, she stated that it's not an uncommon occurrence for children of hoarders to go to the other extreme (being fastidiously neat). You're not alone. :-)
My mom was also very messy and not the cleanest when it came to keeping house through my childhood... and I’m a total neat freak because of it, I remember feeling embarrassed when I would have friends over and vowing never to let my daughter endure that type of torment
For all the people saying that the CHILDREN should clean the house, just imagine trying to clean a whole house by yourself while the parent/s will not let you get rid of anything and will sometimes resort to emotional and physical abuse to stop you from getting rid of stuff! Children's efforts are futile when it comes to stopping parents' from hoarding and they should not be blamed for the condition their house is in. You saw how bad of a state those houses were in, that's an enormous task to make a child do and incredibly unfair one as it's not the children who collect the most stuff and cause the majority of the mess. And the mess they do make, guess who they learned it from?
exactly my mom isnt that bad like in these videos but i dont wanna take my boyfriend home to bc it doesnt looks normal, and when i tried to get rid of something she fished it out of the trash again and i dont even know how to deal w that😭 i hate it here (im 15)
I think its ridiculous & totally clueless, when someone say the children should do the cleaning job. The hoarders strongest nature is they much2 more care to their junk, more then to their children. They rather lose their children then their junks. As long a kids is dependent to their hoarders parent, basically its impossible for they to help clean the house.
For those bashing the kids for not cleaning, understand in many cases they have no choice. Hoarders that live with others can be skilled manipulators and abusers, who use threats, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail to keep control of the environment. I've seen it firsthand, and it is terrifying the means some will use to protect their stuff. I'm not saying that's what was done here, but I think some compassion and understanding is in order.
I agree. I also live with a manipulative hoarder who rather see me leave than lose his stuff. Very little help for people who live with hoarders. It is not a case of 'just get rid of it'. Ive resorted to being very sneaky and loading up to 9 bags of junk away when he has gone to work. Now he is retired so is at home all day - now I feel more trapped.
Plus imagine how it feels to work so hard to clean all that shit just for your mother to do her usual habits again and ruin it . You feel defeated , like no need to clean anymore . I can relate and ik how it feels
I agree. I don't even know where to begin. I hated being blamed for all the mess. They knew it was wrong. They knew they had to do something about it, but they were too damn weak and so they just pushed the blame on the kids, so they don't have to feel guilty. What really urked me was cleaning out the basement, only for it to get filled with more stuff. They would spend hundreds of dollars on these tools. And I would ask why they bought that tool. Come to find out, they needed it for one little thing and rather than asking to borrow it or something, they just decided to waste the money and buy it. I eventually had to tell them Home Depot rents tools and they should consider that for their one time use projects. For me, it created purchasing anxiety. I don't know if any of you guys got that. I will spend days agonizing over whether or not to purchase something. I think I've lost my impulse buy. I have all this stuff in my Amazon "wish list" that I just never bothered to purchase. It sounds like a good problem, but it isn't, because it can lead to delays in getting things you really do need.
Whenever I watch a show about about hoarders I also find myself cleaning up afterward. I call a charity such as Diabetes Foundation to come to pick up a bag of donated clothing, Like Melissa, my house is not at all messy. Well that's one to get inspired to clean!
This is what I grew up in. My mother was a hoarder and so was my grandmother. I inherited it too, and struggled with it growing up. After I moved out, I put myself through therapy and learned how to clean properly (because I never learned how) and keep control of clutter. It's still an insidious issue I will probably deal with the rest of my life, but I have a clean home now and I intend to keep it that way.
With Asian parents. The house needs to be spotless or else you’ll get the belt. I’ve been clean my whole life with an OCD mom and a Perfectionist father
Good on you! And if something bad happens to you and you're unable to clean (depression/injury) always remember that you can hire a cleaner. If your house is immaculate before they come in and you pay them to pick up for 1 hour a week, thats $20 a week to maintain a near-immaculate house without you having to do a damn thing. Then maybe every 6 months, up that to 6 hours for a deep clean. If you hire college students or people on craigslist it can be even cheaper. At my most poor, I was considering cleaning someone's entire house (at medium level filth including laundry, dishes, windows and moping and shining floors) for $100 from craigslist.
My mom used to say when we were little: You can be poor, but you don’t need to be dirty. That struck a chord with me from an early age. These parents have no idea how much damage they’ve done to their kids.
@@MustacheCashStash125 the hoarder parents are too involved in their own stuff to even worry about a child. That’s the sad part you can’t grow up normal and not come out of it unscathed.
Yeah that's what kills me about this show I would do anything to have my own home and it hurts to see these people squander homes like this and it makes me think was it really that easy, previously to buy stuff? Including houses
I agree, the "American dream" owning a home is hype and this is another reason why. I couldn't imagine buying a home than having to live with a neighbor like this.
My mother was a level 5 hoarder and I suffered similar things like this young man was talking about. I remember the horrific stench of our refrigerator. A fresh gallon of milk would go sour in about three days. I had no friends, I was embarrassed and ashamed. She did not cook, wash clothes, clean...nothing. I remember when I was in sixth grade, I wore the same clothes without being washed for one week to school. The school complained but nothing was done; nothing. She never cared about me as a child, or my siblings. Many times we went hungry because there was nothing to eat. She ate out so according to her, it was not her problem. She worked long hours just to escape the reality of her home and she allowed her children to live in that filth without a care in the world. People are calling this a mental illness, which it is, it most certainly is a mental illness. BUT, there comes a time where these people must be held accountable for their own mental illness, especially when it comes to how their illness affects their helpless children. We are the ones who suffer because they have a choice to clean it up and refuse but we have no choice in that matter because we have to put up with it. One might say, "well why didn't you take charge and clean the crap up and start throwing stuff out?" We tried to do this but it was all in vain because every time we tried to clean it up or throw something out, she knew that her "junk" was thrown out (obviously) even though it was very little of a clean up. Then you get the RAGE. Do you know what the rage is? The rage is the severe tantrum and dumpster diving that she would do as a result of her "stuff" being thrown out. So, you not only have to deal with an absolutely exhausting task of cleaning up the crap but instead of being greeted with appreciation and gratefulness, you are greeted with extreme hostility and RAGE! So, you give up and as a child of a hoarder I realized that the only escape was to flee any way you can find a way to move out, just go. You simply cannot reason with these people. I don't care what the hoarder show has to say about how sorry they feel for these people. Sorry folks, I do not feel sorry for my mother. She created nothing but MISERY for anyone and everyone who was directly in her life because she CHOSE to live that lifestyle. These people are not in a state of delusion or psychosis where they don't understand that their house looks like the city dump. They REFUSE to change and do NOT care about how it affects their loved ones; especially their children. Can anyone, anyone reading this tell me that a hoarder like this loves her child? What mother would chose "garbage" over the well-being and love of her child. Am I wrong?
First of all, I don't "hate" anyone; not even my mother. However, seeing this video triggered unpleasant memories of my childhood and therefore resulted in an emotional response. No, my mother did not love me or anyone else in any capacity because she is not capable of love. The reason I say this with absolute certainty is because in addition to a hoarding disorder, she also has the narcissistic personality disorder. This was determined by a psychiatrist and not some "counselor". Being a child of a hoarder who also is a narcissist is not something that is easy to cope with or recover from. I accept her for who she is and I have no desire to see that woman again. I forgave her because honestly she's not worth hating but I do hate having to live with the dreadful memories of my childhood and the abuse that she inflicted on every family member who was directly or indirectly involved with her including myself. My psychiatrist described her best... he said she was "radioactive toxic poison" and he was dead on. A hoarder who is a narcissist = lost cause!
No you are right!! But every problem of these hoarders could be easily solved! They CHOOSE to be like that! This is a symptom of soul problems they have. It could be from loneliness or depression or fear or whatever. Still this is NOT an excuse to neglect your own children! But like you said, she was/is a narcisst.
My mom was the child of alcoholic hoarder I’m so proud of her how she made it out of that cycle and took care of me my brother and sister it’s truly a horrific cycle of neglect.. check on your loved ones often there’s many battles you don’t see them fighting
It's not uncommon for undiagnosed neurodiverse people to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. Lack of theory of mind can be a bitch on those around them and the anxiety/depression caused by the lack of ability to manage social connections really does take a toll. It is easier to connect with objects and special interests than people when you are an undiagnosed autistic. I really think that's what "hoarders" are. It's true for me. Finally diagnosed at 34 with autism. I started taking medicine to help me focus and reduce my anxiety, occupational therapy to help with my dyspraxia and talk therapy to move past the self blame as well aa mourning the life i could have had with an earlier diagnosis. Knowing i lack a theory of mind makes me realize that my actions affect others and often in ways i don't intent/understand/anticipate. Not being able to motor plan through a task before something distracts me was a major barrier before. Now i have set up better personal boundaries of "better to complete 1 thing than have a bunch of unfinished things i had started" and my family is starting to understand that i really can only effectively do 1 thing at a time. So, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. But i just hope science can catch up to what i have.already learned and figured out myself
People go through a lot sometimes and you may never know. Some act it out differently in life. You may never know, if the don't tell you. Some want help and some don't know how to ask. If you hold on to everything, there is a problem.
Anytime when I feel just too lazy to do the household chores, I watch some videos about hoarding. It works, immediately I get an impulse to do tidying and cleaning.
It starts off small a box here "just for a while" and it stacks up and up and up and it gets worse and worse arguments start and feelings get hurt and makes you want to cry eventually everyone makes small paths and it's almost like the mess become walls slowly... it's horrible living like this and you don't know what to do because nothing ever changes
If it decomposes into soil, it has been in disgustingly warm and moist conditions. Your house would have to be that disgusting to have junk composting. I know that is a mental condition, but cmon
They know different. It’s just easier to just desensitized like said before and live with it. Any kind of abuse goes like that. You know better, but as a child what can you do.
@@virgie4715 I'm a grown woman now with a family of my own. My mother remains firmly in denial. All of her children are now minimalist or learning to live minimalistic.
Barrier Boy and that usually happens during childhood. At on point in time as a child, I was being abused and I knew the way I was treated and the way we lived (NOTHING like this; different situation) was not the norm. Hell I could watch tv and notice that much.
@@soulanikiyoko3623 same. It's hard to be happy in it and even harder when you realize you have a long ways to go until you can move out and that there is nothing you can do about it. But it makes me happy there are people like me that know what I'm going through. I feel trapped because being a teenager should be the funest part of your life. I hope it ends soon so I can enjoy my childhood before its gone....
Our mothers preferred rubbish over their children. I believe hoarders are often narcissists. I hope you get help for your addiction. If you get better, I think you should cut contact with your mother and any siblings who made you feel like crap
We, survivors deserve recovery and healing-I’m a recovering alcoholic-I attend online zoom AA meetings-I’m also a former alcohol and drug counselor-recovery is possible and it is amazing and it’s lifelong-I’m in my late 40’s and seeing a therapist again-healing is incremental-we deserve to for once put ourselves first🌈
My mom is a hoarder. I honestly think its a form of child abuse to have your kids raised in that environment. Its beyond embarrassing, you can never have friends over or anything. I was embarrassed that she was my mom my whole life. I avoid visiting her at all costs. Last time I came over, her place is worse than I have ever seen it. She should be on this show. Ive even suggested it to her.
PootStip I HAVE helped her many times, so have other people in our family, Ive cleaned up her house for her, and she clutters it back up within a week, she wants to live that way. She refuses therapy, she doesnt want help. She refuses to change. You cant help some one who constantly refuses it. Dont assume to know anything about me when you clearly dont
MoveitorLoseit2 I'm so sorry to hear what you go through. You are right, it is child abuse. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I am here. I may be on TH-cam, but I do care. I am female, 19 years old. I left home because of abuse, but not from hoarding.
I used to drive a school bus, and one morning I stopped to pick up 2 kids at their home. The younger child (male) didn't want to go to school (these were special needs kids), so I sent my assistant to go up to the house to get him. Their mom wasn't home. The assistant finally got the boy out of the house, locked the door, and got him on the bus. She took pictures with her phone of the condition of the home (mom was a hoarder) , filthy, dog crap and piss everywhere, piles of clothes, garbage all over. We reported it to CPS, and the kids were sent to live with their grandma.
How do you know that was dog crap it could have been the special needs kids craping on the floor my child still can't figure out how to use the toilet, and takes off clothes. Mom was probably overwhelmed with all the care of having to keep them safe, and trying to keep a house clean when these kids throw things all over the place. I'm sure the dad was never in the picture nobody helping her which is what she needed. Not people making her out to be a bad person. I don't know how a grandmother will do any better she is to darn old, and tired. Makes no sense to put all that stress on an old lady sounds like people just want paychecks. Maybe you all should listen to other peoples story before tossing out judgement you don't know what it is like to live the way they do.
Even if it was human poop, having human poop "everywhere" along with pee and garbage isn't anymore acceptable than non-human poop everywhere. The animal source of the poop isn't really relevant when it's everywhere especially if it was that way when the assistant was there and still there when CPS came. And the poster didn't mention the age nor condition of the grandma so it's certainly possible she was young enough - my mom and dad are grandparents and are certainly capable of taking care of kids, in fact they have two special needs kids that they do take care of.
No it is not acceptable that is why there still needs to be a hospice for the children who are severely affected. The problem with the institutions was abuse, and way to many people in there that did not need to be there. A hospice with round the clock workers, with holistic doctors, therapists, and nurses on board is more appropriate for these children. A parent can only do so much. The days of people having children at age twenty are probably going away the future generation will probably have children at a later age which means old parents my mom had me at forty three so there is no way she would be able to take care of my son or help me out if she were around.
@@jo-anncintron6234 it's true. you KNOW when you have mice/rats, they don't try to be subtle about their presence in your walls lmao. imagine being woken up consistently at around 2am for weeks bc you hear a scratching but it's coming from inside your walls
I want to hug my mom for keeping our house so clean. I had two friends who's mom's never ever cleaned. Ones house looked like this. It was horrific. I never wanted to go there.
My stepfather is a hoarder, and my mother thought it was perfectly fine to put me as a child in that nasty house. I’m 24 years old now and to this day I still can’t forget her for all that horrible years
Blame him not her. She made allowances to have companionship and as horrible as that sounds, it is what some people have to do. Not everyone is strong and she should be forgiven for the lack of strength...but he should not since he obviously threatened her with absence if she didn't accept him and allow his OC tendencies.
@@Moralatheist101 he has a menthal health issue he cant help this and the way he his. he needs help! she should have chosen a better situation for her kid.
@@lijntje266 Again, you are blaming the victim, because if you don't think she was as much of a victim as her kids, you should probably rethink your argument. It wasn't her fault that she was in a relationship with a sick man and she didn't have the strength to get out of it. At the very least she had a mental instability also that kept her in the situation, and that means you should be pointing out her mental unhealth as much as you are pointing out his. But Americans seem to downplay the mental issues that keep women in those types of relationships while at the same time saying "she should have done better". If we taught our girls that they could be stronger instead of telling them that a relationship will save them - maybe things would be different. But we don't and that's what's really to blame. Instead of putting the focus on her and lack of action, maybe, just maybe, put it on the problem...him.
This is so heartbreaking. I wish there was enough funding to ensure all houses with children have a yearly visit by authorities to make sure the child is thriving and safe and the parent is coping.
These girls are completely capable to clean up themselves. I see tons of their crap all over the place. Why does everyone blame the mom? These are grown women acting like they have no choice. Entitled little spoiled brats. Help your mother clean up girls. Show her some love & respect.
@@kimlassiter8904 What if when the girls do take out all the trash, the mom just takes it all back in and scolds them? The mother does not deserve to be respected considering how she let's her daughters live in such filth. Does she even try to clean up? Probably not. All I can say is WTF.
Yoxxiwolf the girls said they just got used to it. Did you see their rooms? They are obviously not cleaning, or hanging up clothes or trying to do anything but take advantage of the mom & use her as a scapegoat for their mess. Blame mom because it’s easier than cleaning it up.
@@kimlassiter8904 Trust me... The litter you see in their room belongs to their mom. Hoarders do that. When they run out of their own space, they will start using other people's space. So they disrespect the children's boundaries and if they refuse or push back, then the hoarder will guilt them. If it's someone like their own children whom they have authority over, it's very easy to manipulate them, or simply disregard their desires for a free room. Those girls have no option. My hoarder had her stuff all over my room. I couldn't see my own walls. I had no say. She also tried to hide her stuff in a friend's house and made herself look like the victim when he found out and asked her to take it away. As an independent adult, he had the ability to do that. The girls Don't.
@@kimlassiter8904 Shut the fuck up. You have absolutely no idea what it's like to live a life where you're not important and your mother keeps HER THINGS in YOUR ROOM. you sound like a spoiled child who's never dealt with anything worse than a scolding from your parents. don't speak on something you clearly know nothing about
We were taught we were the problem. I kid you not. As in " If it weren`t for you damn kids the house would be clean. " I grew up in a haze of cockroaches and filth. You want to know how screwed up a person becomes because nothing, and I mean nothing in your life was ever normal. I am a clean freak. To the point my husband goes crazy sometimes. When I see filth I literally have a full blown panic attack. My older brother is like me. My younger married someone exactly like my mom, and has lived in filth all his life. I lost my mom 12 years ago, and not a moment goes by that I don`t miss her, but I still can`t wrap my mind around the fact she could do this to us. It is childhood trauma in it`s deepest levels. Just ask my husband.
Ethereal Energy when those simple things build up and become not so simple overtime, it’s hard to enjoy. i’d rather be worried about cleanliness and organization than wallow around in endless growing filth.
Bella Olivia- be careful, my grandma was a horder my mother is terrifying clean... I remember being screamed at because I couldn't meet her standards of clean. As an adult I am not a clean person, I live in organized Chaos because being to clean freaks me out
I'm sorry you had to live in such Horrendous & maddening conditions♡ I agree partially w/the other comment below but must also add-Know that you're not your mother & even though you want to maintain a Clean & neat space try to be mindful not to create a new yet different & smaller but harmful pattern for your own family♥
My Grandma was a hoarder, and so are my mom and my Aunt, my moms sister and my cousin my Aunts daughter. I have to fight hoarding all of the time. I have a Therapist and I have someone who comes and cleans for me 3 days a week and I take meds. I am the only one in my family that gets any help. I too go crazy over certain things. If I see any cat or dog poop I go crazy. If the cat boxes are full and I can smell them I go into full clean mode. If I see a stain on one potty pad I change it. I swear I never want my house to smell like dirty animal shit ever. My whole Aunts house smells like a cat box (17 cats and they shit all over the house) and my moms house you could smell the dog crap from the street because she was a rescuer. I would go to her house and help her clean. I would have to use a shovel and a large 33 gallon trash can to pick/scrap up the papers, dog food and dried dog turds off the linoleum. She would have dog shit smeared all over the floor boards on the walls. To this day she denies it and she says her house was always clean and that I NEVER came over and helped to clean her house. REALLY??
Honestly these people need to have their children taken away! That is neglect, children being raised in filthy disgusting houses, not having access to fresh food, clean clothes, etc!
And the 'disorder' comments, I have a mental disorder, I suffer from severe anxiety, I also suffer from multiple conditions/disorders that cause debilitating pain, so I can barely stand or move at times. I still keep my house fucking spotless and ensure there is clean food, water & clothing for my daughter!
mandabella9109 they have to go out of their ways to make a mess like that. It is behind just "not picking up." My mom was a hoarder and her excuses drove me insane.
the kids can clean, the relatives can clean, the neighbors can help clean.. sometimes these people could have a variety of health problems as well... abused etc.. one can never know..
they have a mental illness... their thinking is probably very disorganized that, they can't remember or even keep up with daily living skills. They need people to assist them. I don't think they do this on purpose... they probably get gifts or find things and they get attached so then it starts to pile up and then because their minds are disorganized, they forget they had certain things and it gets lost in their home, so then they end up buying more stuff because they forgot they had certain things... and that's how it piles up... they need someone to help them clean and keep the place organized... they need to be shown ways that can help them know where everything is at so that they don't get confused... I can relate to having hoarding tendencies but I know why it happens and it mostly happens because having a small space, and having furniture that doesn't work with the way my mind works... I prefer shelves rather than drawers, drawers, you can't see your clothes so clothes gets lost there and then if one has a lack of space, things are put in places that they shouldn't be. I know how my mind works so I know what to stay aware of and what not to buy or bring to my home... I think for a hoarder, they find value in things so much to the point that it becomes unhealthy... When they find something, they believe it's treasure... and it's worth something. So they really need someone to be there and help them figure out how to organize everything and get rid of what they don't need. They are not neglecting their children on purpose... if a person can't even take care of themselves, they are basically people who need to be assisted... they aren't being this way to be bad people or to make life bad for others... that's not their intention at all. They need things to be set up in a way that is easy for them to process... because having so much stuff, becomes hard to process after a while because a person doesn't know where to start cleaning and how so they give up on trying. There should be something done for this mental illness to help them, like there should be people that come to a home and help them become more organized with easier steps on getting things done and where to place things so that they don't get lost. This is a serious mental illness... Hoarders need more help... They need help with daily living skills and organizing mainly... and I hope it becomes more widely available so that this doesn't happen anymore... The thing with hoarding is that I think a lot of people have to pay to get their house cleaned but that's only part of the help they need, after getting their house cleaned, they need to set up the correct ways to help them keep it clean and probably visit them every other week to make sure that things aren't accumulating again and if they are, organize it again until organizing becomes second nature for them.
I grew up like this, except with billions of roaches. I remember having to shake out my backpack and all my books and things before school because they would hide in everything. The roaches ruined electronics, the microwave, our oven. It was crazy living like that and explaining those conditions to others is hard. The scope of them and the actual reality of BILLIONS of roaches is almost unbelievable, but what I lived in. Both of my sisters struggle to manage their spaces. I live differently. I dont want to have to live in shame over someone seeing how I live.
*Me and my husband drop roach Bombs at least once a year, set poisen out all the time, and fastitiously clean up food messes. It's bad, but at least with minor maintinance we normally have peace. No house should be over flowing with roaches though, and no one should be shaking them off like a cat with fleas. Am sorry for your parents*
My mom is a hoarder. I'm young, and I have a little sister. She blames it on being homeless and having to live with my grandmother. She blames it on the stress basically. I've cleaned multiple times but her and my little sister mess everything up again. No one has ever been inside my house and I have to hide it from everyone. I'm a teen, and I don't even have my own room or privacy. The bathroom is in my grandmothers room and it doesn't even have a real door on it. I have to stay in a disgusting room with my mom while my little sister sleeps on a chair in the living room. My mattress has holes everywhere and I never have clean clothes. I don't know what to do. I love her but I don't want to stay with her anymore like this
+Shapoot Go into a search engine and search for “Children’s Protective Services” in your town. That should get you to a website containing their phone number. Call it. You do not have to give your name. They will take it from there.
shapoot, I know what that is like, my heart goes out to you, our stories are similar. Although, I am a grown woman, my life consisted of cleaning up everybody's mess, and it still did no good because it would return to the same filthy conditions. The advice I can give you is get some psychological counseling, what you're going through is not normally, and you may not understand but it is damaging you. By the time, you're 17 or 18 go away to school, try to work, and get you a place to live. I will pray for you and I hope with all my heart your situation changes.....God bless you!!!
+Shapoot : Speak with an adult who you can rely on. It can be a relative, family or professionals in government. Here are some thing you can do 1. Learn to clean. Ask any supermarket to work for free for them for one month time, do it before summer. 2. Similtanously speak with your mom about your condition at home. Tell her that things have to change. Simply try to convince her 3.Order a garbage container which is used for businesses. 4. Since now you have some experience on cleaning, use what you learned to clean your home. 5. Start slow. If there is water bottles, sell it and give the money to your mom, may be that would help her change her view on cleaning. 6. Clean your living room. You may find many things that you like which you wish to behold. Be courageous, and throw it whether you like or not. That will help you to become better at taking decisions. 7. Give things that can be usable to charities, call or go to them. Make it ready and take it out when they come to take it. 8. You will get upset and your mom will get mad. It is normal reaction. First clean your room, just leave the simple things such as furniture, and the things that you are using for everyday. Take all your clothes out, the cloths that does not fit you give it to charities or throw it. 9. Show your progress to your mom, and get her convinced, but it is not important because she will resist to make change. It is normal reaction. Clean rooms which she is not completely watching you. Like if she is in leaving room, clean bed rooms, or kitchen or bathroom. Make your summer a clean up project. or, ask any relatives to come to your home and assist you. But make it your personal dedication, start cleaning, ask others to help and if they did not consider it as not a problem. Be courageous, courageousness is learned, so you have to acquire it from your own self. Option two is to call the authorities, and let them help you. At first you will be ashamed, your mom might get upset or mad at you. But it is normal. It is natural human reaction to react negatively to things we perceive as not good. You will be doing the right thing to call the authority. You can call the children protective service or speak with health assistant at your school or a doctor. You can ask them not to give out your name when they come at your home. They will find a convincing excuse to your mom such as we are feeling your children are not very well, so we came to speak with you. Or someone gave us a tips.... Don't worry, they will help you. Either they will take you out of the house until your mom receive help in becoming clean again, or they will help you in cleaning it up. The former is likely to happen if your condition is very bad. Remember the government is there to help you. You just have to ask. They will not decline to help you. You need to be courageous and ask for help. If you cannot follow the first option of cleaning your home by yourself, you have to ask for help before you also become damaged physically or psychologically. You do not need your children to live the life you have now. If you are not going to change now, then when are you going to change. If you did not change now, it will be difficult or beyond difficulty to make change later in your life. You need to spend your childhood as a normal teen enjoying your life, because you cannot return your life. As long you stay silent, nothing will change to better, the damage will increase every hour. My good wishes.
+Comprehend Nature Ma'am I think you need to re-read her comment. The child said she was cleaning in the first place and they just messed it up, geez. At least listen before speaking.
+Gidget Hrobowski : Thank you for the correction. +Shapoot: I am glad you are doing something. I will leave my comment as it is, so that maybe some part of it becomes helpful to you. I also advice you to do some google search.
The 2 dead cats they found, imagine living with that underneath you, I’m sick just thinking of it. This show never ceases to just blow my mind with how people can let their houses get so unorganized
They consider it a type of abuse, but not even close to drug addiction or domestic. It's considered unsanitary and unfit living space to were they place it in a category of endangerment to the child.
They sort of do. I'm not certain how it's categorized, but I had a close friend growing up who was removed from her home for a few months because her mom was a hoarder. As soon as my friend went back, I believe her mom went back to it, but I don't know for sure. I just remember stopping by her house when we were in high school because she needed to grab something on the way to meet up with our other friends, and their garage had an insane amount of junk in it.
My mom was a hoarder and it was a deep dark secret for a long time. I cant even explain the amount of shame I felt (and still do) about it, as if its my fault. I have talked to my mom about it a million times and even when it seems like we have a breakthrough nothing changes. She doesnt even think she is a hoarder! That is absolutely absurd to me! I have A LOT of resentment towards her for how I grew up and now my compassion for her situation is running thin. I understand its a mental illness but get help!!!! I have a lot of anger knowing that she adopted me and I was sent to live in that disgusting environment for 18 years. I love her more than anything but I really dont think she should have ever been a mother. I feel guilty for even saying that but having a child in those conditions is essentially a form of child abuse. It angers me that she does not recognize that.
Well i happen to agree with you. I can also relate to the shame. Its really hard especially as children to deal with such things. Hard to work thru even as adults!
I can relate as well i lived it the same conditions it was and still is very heard for me knowing that my mom still live like dat but at the same time i preferred the love that my mom gave me then the cps coming and taking me away , and that probably will end her life , I understand how much pain and shame you must have felt and I’m sorry for that , but don’t be so mad at her please do not do it it’s a very difficult mental illness and even with help it didn’t work :( I really hope you find peace with in to forgive her I did the same and it’s still bugs me inside , you r not alone !!!
free2bmanson - There are a lot more of us than I thought. =( With my Mom, it wasn't a neurotic attachment to objects, but difficulty keeping things clean. I know she suffered with depression for years & years, would sleep all day, the whole nine yards... But would never see a doctor about it. I've been through it all. You love them & wish it was easy for them to make a change, but it really isn't. I currently suffer from some of the same tendencies (having trouble keeping things clean), & have the same depression anxiety that makes trying to 'fix' things that much harder. It can feel overwhelming trying to clean up when it's already so bad, you feel like you're not getting anywhere. I don't blame you, it makes perfect sense to feel resentment & frustration... the whole ordeal is a curse & makes every aspect of your life harder. I hope you can find a way to forgive your Mom, or maybe even try to find her help (easier said than done, though, I know).
@@KyrieChii please get help from family, friends, neighbors, professionals. Imagine everynight yourself happy, energetic in your clean pretty home. Keep up your faith!! It will give you the strenght and hope and courage you need to love yourself, your home, your life back again.
Bleach Yes! Mixed with dawn kills bugs too. I throw out things my daughters want to keep. They never know. Never ending battle with possessions you don't need . Coat hangers. Been throwing them out and they don't go away. Kind of weird.
My mother and father collect/bought a lot of tools (for kitchen, cars, building, etc). The house was mess but it looks like antique stores rather than the house on the video. It do have a little space to walk around because of how many boxes and shelves. But I'm kind of glad because we basically have every tools for everything incase something broken.
hoarding & ''being disgusting'' kinda go hand & hand/I've never seen an organized, clean hoarder/hoarding is a mental disorder where a person has an obsession to keep things, no matter how useless it is to the point of becoming overwhelmed & losing control of the situation/which eventually becomes extremely unsanitary & unhealthy...
I lived with a hoarder. After so many years of being yelled at because I kept throwing his stuff out...I'm a minimalist...I said it's me or your stuff.. Well he took his stuff and left. It is a sickness. You can't even walk in any of his rooms in his new house.
How do people live like this and keep custody of their children? Absolutely ridiculous to force your kids to live like this. This should be endangerment charges and neglect charges
It is child neglect and we do remove children from homes like this. The problem is that someone has to report the issue and if no one sees the home and the people living inside say nothing we can't do anything.
I think schools should do yearly home visits to check up on kids and get to know the parents abit better, so many kids suffer abuse and neglect like this that is hidden for years, all because teachers, neighbours, protective services dont have enough courage to report suspicions, dont want to be called nosy or intrusive, dont have enough evidence.
The people who place all the blame on the children in these comments are enablers of abuse, and have clearly never lived with someone this mentally DISABLED. these people are sick..... Children get blamed for the behavior of adults who are supposed to love and care for them and keep them safe. I was raised in this shit and I'm 30 years old now I haven't been in my parents home in years. YEARS my 5 year old has never been to grandma and grandpa's. A minor child is not and should never be held responsible for their adult parents neglect and abuse- as if they just didn't try to help hard enough, or somehow they piled all that trash up themselves. enough! Quit victim blaming.
Sarah Shook your comment literally brought tears to my eyes. My mother became severely depressed after my father abandoned us and the house basically fell apart throughout the course of my childhood and adolescence. She would never clean and we would have to eat out every single day. As soon as I could I went to school and got myself out at 22. Now I’m 25 and married and live two hours away. But the house has continued to get worse. My husband and I have gone with garbage bags and cleaned and it just never gets better My mom literally never got herself together the bank is in the process of taking her home and foreclosing and I was trying to find her a small apartment near me once the sale was final and she recently passed away in the house. It’s saddening and I’m heartbroken and I know it isn’t my fault but I still feel guilty and ashamed as if I could have done more.
@@Genisse117 Just a thought that may help you release yourself from the guilt~~~If you had "done more", you might have destroyed your relationship with your mom. She may have felt bullied & like you were trying to control her & take away her freedom of choice. If you had "done more", you may have crossed her "protected barrier". Your LOVE kept you from doing that!
So true. My mother is an alcoholic and my family blamed me for not helping her enough. I literly did the whole household and strucktured her life. I even bought her food from my christman money. And as a thanks she beat me up. I must have been such a horrible person for not curing her from her sickness. 😒
My parents are in the middle. We have junk all over the house, some rooms/ areas are filled and cannot be used, but it's not as drastic as what the video shows. In our own bedroom, we have our parents dresser that's been blocking our window for over 10 years. It's starting to grow mold on the window, but "you know how much solid furniture costs?". I have bags of old school clothes I've outgrown but I can't donate them/toss them bc "we can sell them at a yard sale" (our area doesn't allow yard sales). Tubs of old Christmas decorations and baby clothes fills our closet to the point where it can't be used. We have a hallway connected to the kitchen to the back door. That hallway is filled with empty bottles that we can "sell". It's 2/3 to the top. We have to carefully walk around the kitchen to get out the back door. Our sofa has old boxes "when we move" overflowing. There's useless junky furniture all around us. There's boxes near the TV. My parent's bedroom is filled on each side that they have to crawl to get on the bed. Our cabinets are filled with old dishes from our old house in 01'. The second bathroom shower is filled with junk all the way to the top. I've lost hope trying to help them. I can't even clean up my own room without getting yelled at. I've gotten slapped for throwing away old container tops (none of them fit our containers). I'm ready to move once I graduate. 8 more months to go!
You are so brave for sharing and I too think that you are a great writer. I hope conditions are better for you now that some time has passed since your comment.
D Kon I, too was raised in a home of hoarders. Both my parents keep things that they no longer use or even find valuable. Both of them had parents that hoarded. My own home gets messy when I’m ill or depressed. Have you considered taking your used clothing to a consignment shop? I was going to donate many of my old things, but my mother wanted to have a yard sale. I set aside several boxes for a sale that never happened. My sister, understanding the struggle helps me yearly by asking the important questions that get me to let go. I have donated probably a bus load of clothing and household goods in the passed two years. I keep one box for additional donations in my home. As it gets filled, I take it to our local Salvation Army where I know it will help others. I hope things are going well for you. Get a Pinterest account and read up on decluttering tips. I find them very inspiring and it keeps me mindful of what I have and what I don’t need. Good luck!
It took most of my 50 yrs to understand why my mother is a hoarder. The pathology of a hoarder often starts with their desire to have things with which to create a lifestyle they desire, but without the understanding and diligence of what's required to live that life. Stuff does not make the desired lifestyle, it just makes a lifestyle filled with too much stuff. Our Activities of Daily Living add up tp the lifestyles we ultimately live
@Cj, Bless you for understanding the demons your mother has experienced! I am a bit of a Hoarder, mostly paper items is the biggest problem. I recently found a receipt for this laptop that my {now late} brother purchased in 2013! But, perhaps the oldest item I have, is an empty pack of cigarettes that were at the scene of my late husband's suicide in 1996! One of the last things he touched in this world! I have no flattened dead animals, tho...but yes, I do have a small jar of my last cat's fur & her ashes in an urn sitting beside the one I will be in, eventually. I do have 3 adult children who live far away & when they were younger, I was much more organized. Then, in 1989, I lost custody of them in a horrible divorce. And that is really the major causal of most hoarders, major loss! I've had many of them o'er the years, both human & stuff. My late husband, for example, burned almost all of my clothing & photos & paperwork prior to his suicide! Now, at the age of 57, I live/exist completely alone. I'm 100% Disabled & the other night, I aspirated an aspirin tablet & had to do a self heimlich maneuver to dislodge it. I was more surprised than scared. My next thought was, 'How long will this dead carcass lay here before anyone notices?' Peace all!
@@maggierezac5820 Forgive me but I just want to say to you, I dont think there is anything wrong with keeping memories of your late husband and your cat, I do the same(keep things for memories) but I now realise that I cant keep everything, i have to keep the most important things and throw away the rest. When you suffer the loss of someone or something you start feeling emotionally attatched to objects to fill the emptiness. When ever i realise things are getting out of control I go around with a black sack and start throwing away things! I moved alot in my childhood because I was in care so I have a strange relationship with 'objects' and also a lack of organisation so even some of the things I keep get damaged because there is no real. space for them to be stored away. Alot of my treasured possessions and photos have been lost in time from unexpected moves and I think that is why I want to keep everything now that I have my own home, to preserve memories. So i just wanted to tell you its not wrong to keep the stuff that are precious to you but you've got to let go of other things aswell so you can have space for yourself .x
@@Neesi392 Thank you so much for your kind & understanding words! My current situation is piles of unopened mail that I am 99% certain will end up in the recycle bin! I have also recently noticed a feeling of both suffocation & insulation with "The Piles" as I refer to them. However, I have also recently renewed a friendship with a 'niece' {of choosing, not blood} & her amazing 10 year old daughter, {who I have literally known since her birth}. 😊 I also suffer from HORRIBLE agoraphobia & in the past several months, they have been doing my shopping of necessities for me & also spending more & more time with me! Talk about mixed emotions! I am so happy to have their company yet horrified by the state of affairs of my apartment & the lack of 'seating' space, if that makes sense. When I even entertain the notion of someone coming in to assist in getting this place back to its former organized way, I panic! Cue the Control Fiend within! So, I guess that would be the other aspect of my own hoarding situation, Control. Of an admittedly imaginary level. Control. That mess opens the Pandora's Box of horrific child abuse, as I understand it all. Sorry this got so long, & I do wish all the best & Happy Holidays to all! Peace! ✌☮😊💨
Cj I dont know If I can be classed as a hoarder, I know there are different degrees of hoarding but what you said definitely resonates with me. All the "things" cluttering up my home are things I remember buying to 'improve' my life. Some examples, plastic boxes for storage, various cleaning products for different reasons, various array of items to make my house look nice, arts and crafts that never gets done. They are all things i bought with good intentions but due to my bad depressive phases these things get left out everywhere, forgotten in cupboards or just damaged and thrown away. Its not the waste of money that upsets me, its that I dont get to keep all the things I bought and do what I intended to do with them. Its very sick I know, Ive learned that I dont NEED half of these objects to get things done, I was missing out on time with loved ones and missing out on memories because I was obsessing over junk and how this junk was going to impress my life so much (it doesnt). I can clean the bathroom without the 5 cleaning products, I can do it with just 1. I dont need all these boxes to fill with junk, I should throw half these things away. This is the mind set Ive learned to adopt, its hard sometimes but Ill keep trying. Its hard to explain so sorry for the ramble but I really relate to what you said, you have a really good understanding on these issues thank you .x
Please learn about autism in females and autism in adults. It will help. Researchers have been really REALLY stupid in not following through in the obvious overlap of traits of "hoarding" and autism (special interest, sensory issues/avoidance, object fixation, comorbid with mood disorders, poor personal hygiene, lack of theory of mind, and on and on)
When the baby pulled out the trash, that image breaks my heart. I know my dad was a very light hoarder, and a big fear of mine is being depressed enough to get to that point.
Echo Tango I know a hoarder. She told me she knows she needs therapy and she has been offered free therapy and refuses it. I agree that it's a mental disorder. But it seems like greed, though I know it's not. Another thing...she is always late. When someone picks her up and beeps the horn after waiting for hours in the driveway, she gets angry that they beep the horn. Is that somehow a symptom?
@Chris P. You are right but sometimes even if they have garbage right next to their door they would have spotless home. House made of garbage but no garbage inside.
I agree. Being poor is no excuse for being a pig, as some people would have you think. If a person is unable to clean their home, and live on a fixed income, , that's the only excuse there is.
My abusive father was like this. He would keep all his beer bottles close near the sofa. I couldn’t throw anything away because I would see him digging through my trash and keeping the scrap papers I threw away. I confronted him about it but he just lashed out and hit me and it’s so bad because my mother tolerated this behavior and even did it herself so our house was becoming more like a dump site. I had to put my trash in my school bag so I could throw it in school in the morning. Before college, I worked while studying just to move out of that nightmare. I’m an extremely clean person since I was a kid so imagine the relief when I got my own place. I bought so much perfume for myself and scents just to keep my apartment from that bad smell. I took hour long showers and had all my body hair removed by laser. I segregated my trash better and I just have to have a clean place. So glad I moved out because it helped with my studies. I was more focused and determined. Having this hoarder mentality sucks, they don’t even know how badly this impact their children.
Your father is a rat. I hate these hoarder parents who think they should procreate. I love childfree people they know who they are and take responsibility. But society calls them selfish. No a bitch with a mental illness that think he should have children is selfish.
@@JustMe-gh7ib you cant just throw their shit away smh how about seeking actual help? Tossing things only makes it worse, she has a disorder!!! Likely from being given up on & adopted to a family who has not one clue how to help her 💔
you didnt listen to the part you did watch the boy was removed he lived with his older sister and mom continued to get worse this was him going back years after that that the clean up took place
Your rite I didn’t listen to the part when they said he was removed from the home. You didn’t read my comment. I said I can not continue to watch it after the dead cat part.
This reminds me of my uncle. His house was so disgusting, he had over 70 cats there were were piles of cat poop everywhere, it's was messy, it smelled horrible. My cousin Erin would get made fun of and had soap thrown at her every day in school because of the way she smelled. It was bad...
my brother and I barely made it out of the house when it was on fire. the smoke chased us outside. firefighters didn't even TRY to go in bc we lived in the middle of nowhere so by the time they got there, the house was beyond saving. it still haunts me to this day how close my little brother and I came to losing our lives that day lmao
@@tidepodpadthai2633 They live there do they not? They have working limbs do they not? They are all lazy filthy fat fucks who should be wiped of the face of the earth.. PERIOD! 🌎🌎🐎🐎🐙🐙🐙🐾🐾🐾😁😁
Enrique Aguilar this too is a mental disorder called Spartanisim. Why do you think the day after Christmas is the biggest return day of the year? It’s because people like you can stand to have something hanging out in their house that they don’t want. It causes them anxiety. This illness is not as visible as hoarding. As long as you are wearing clothes, no one usually suspects anything.
Most people are extremely lucky to NOT understand this disorder. If you think it's laziness be glad you are too ignorant to comprehend the way a hoarder thinks! Ignorance is bliss is true in this case.
+Cheryl Dahl I learned all about this mental disorder and other ones in college when i took up Psychology..and watching the TV show breaks my heart because at one time the hoarders were actually people at one time who had a life and something as devastating as a loss of a loved one, having money problems, divorce, and many others..all mental disorders start and end with the brain..its just a matter of what can trigger a mental problem.
Just yet another "medical term" given to lazy pigs. :) I bet your house is a sty as well. A disorder? A disease? Well you can't quit cancer like you could quit hoarding. It's all bullshit. get off your fat LAZY fucking ass and clean your house. :) I have bad days too, but I don't pile shit around my house!
TheNellehFox Some people like 1972Gargoyle just don't get it..I watch hoarders and Hoarders: behind Closed Doors which is a british version of the US TV series and the stories i saw on both programs tore my heart out of my chest, some of these people want to change some take a little longer but with the proper aftercare help and therapy some have changed for the better and are maintaining the cleanliness in their homes/apartments.
Wiccan Priestess First I ever saw of hoarding was a dear old woman who just wanted help getting her self back again. It's not fair to judge others for their problems, it's cruel. Some people just need help, and they won't feel brave enough to get it with the horrible attitude towards weakness some people have.
TheNellehFox I will never forget the first episode of hoarders i saw..this woman and her husband were just enjoying a quiet afternoon in their home and out of nowhere two masked thugs broke into their house and shot and killed her husband right in front of her..any episode of hoarders makes my tears come to full force.
My mother was the opposite, she raised us with her unbridled OCD (my brother was a sick kid when born). Everything had a place everything had a certain way how to be cleaned. Although it was difficult I knew my mom did it out of love.
Tawny Still hoarding is also caused by ocd, your mother didnt do what she did out of love, she was suffering too. the key is finding balance. you need a little clutter.
They are mentally ill. Its a terrible situation for everyone involved. Nobody is to be punished for this because they're already punishing themselves. Nobody would willing do this. Nobody would actually want to live that way. That's why it's an illness.
@@rennyh8627 , yes sir, they should be held accountable for this mental illness and live in the way that the children need! No excuse for this, mental illness or not! Mental illness is no excuse for any wrongs! They still know right from wrong, all of them even schizophrenia
@@yellowdayz1800 they're not to be punished they are to be treated. Thats what we do when people are sick. Treat it like you would with a physical illness. It can be fixed with medical attention. Mental illness is not an excuse but more of an explanation for abnormal behaviour.
No teacher ever suspected anything the whole time he was growing up? No neighbor? No relatives? No mailman? Is everyone blind? I wd have reported this neighbor in a heartbeat! Especially if I saw kids on the property!!
A close friend of mine in middle school had a father that was a severe hoarder. I remember going to her house and how ashamed she was because of the severity of the filth. She didn't even want me to see the house, but eventually she relented when we got tired of staying at my house. There was nothing she could do. I felt SO bad for her. There were rooms that had stuff piled so high that they were no longer accessible and stayed closed off because of it. I remember us climbing through the laundry room trying to help her find clothes for school the next morning. She was also bullied because of the smell her clothes carried. It was so hard on her and her sisters. We are grown now with families of our own. I do wonder how she turned out. No child should have to suffer because of the poor choices their parents make.
Hoarding can be associated with OCD as it is an irrational compulsive obsession...being organized doesn't mean you're OCD it means you're a neat person lol
My mom was a hoarder and a very strict woman.I've lived all of my life with this problem. I grew up feeling ashamed and angry for having to live like this. My friends had clean and well kept houses. Mine was a small apartment and filled with rubbish of all kind. I'm still throwing out stuff my mom used to keep. She kept every single thing, even papers with scribbles on it, because "you did it so it's a memory". My relationships have suffered a lot from this, I could never invite anyone over and I'm still working on throwing stuff out,so I still can't invite anyone over and I'm 25. My mom being a hoarder destroyed her life and mine. And I totally agree , she preferred her stuff to me and that's exacty why I felt neglected and abandoned, reason why I focused on my studies, trying to avoid all of the problems i saw at home.
Our stories are very similar. My mom also hoards, and it's been very mentally exhausting to say the least. I'm not sure what to do in my current situation as it's not getting any better. I've tried for years with her and all our arguments about her hoarding ends with me in tears pleading for her to throw things away. I really hope you are now able to live the life that you want to live away from the years of abuse that hoarding brings to the hoarder and everyone associated with them.
@@naomikriss5208 Yes!! Taking pictures of things with my phone makes throwing them out so much easier! My mom recently agreed to allow me to clean a certain area, and I've been having more progress than I've seen in years. It's not a big area but I can finally see the floor so baby steps lol. I'm the one making most of the decisions about what to throw out/recycle/give away and I try to include her and ask her opinions on certain things that I'm not sure on. Hang in there I know first hand how difficult it is.
Jasmine Mohsin your story sounds very similar to mine my mom was super strict and would yell and get super defensive and offended and basically jump down your throat if you ever told her she needed to clean or get her life in order. I’m 25 as well and what I tell myself is to be different and learn from her life mistakes and teach myself how to take care of my self and my home and my health and pray to god to help me find the strength to face the past and not run from it so I can heal She recently passed and we never really resolved it. Her home was in foreclosure her life a hot mess. But I keep telling myself I can’t change or fix people and I have to show them love but show myself love as well and know I’m worthy to create a clean tidy and healthy life and home for myself. I wish you love healing and peace Jasmine!
My parents and family members hoarded when I was a kid. I remember trying to clean stuff up and getting yelled at. I remember that when we went to the doctor's office I'd always love the magazines showing clean beautiful houses, and crying as we drove home. At my friend's house, which was nice and organized, I'd never want to go home. Eventually when I had to take care of my mother, I cleaned up as much as I could. We ended up leaving a lot of stuff behind because we were evicted and there was little time to move everything. That's mostly how we got our new house clean. She was ready at that point to throw a lot of stuff away but she physically could not do it, so when we moved, it was sad but it helped a lot with the clutter. We got counseling together to help many times. It was not easy. She lived the rest of her days in a clean house though. And she missed a lot of things but she got better with time. When I had to do the shopping for her I had control of what went into and out of the house. Anything broken we both agreed to throw away, I taught her how I organized the pantry and dish cabinets and rooms, etc. So she could find everything much easier and was able to live a life of independance to a degree while I lived with her. I have other family members with the same problem. I live by myself in a clean home but try to help them when I can. Their house is not nearly as bad as these homes, pretty clean compared to these really, but it has a lot of clutter than normal and it makes me itch. It may just be how I grew up. so it's hard for me to visit them at times. It's nice to see that I was never alone growing up. I had no idea so many kids had this problem too.
She probably thought her husband was cheating on her, and he was stuck under a cascade of falling garbage, after slipping on a banana peel. Just kidding, but that is sad. You can't put your life or anyone in danger because of that.
My mother is an entry level hoarder, enough to have her house seem odd, and way over cluttered, but not enough to be a huge problem,or unsafe, other than having to watch out for tripping on the excess amounts of baskets, and bins of stuff that are everywhere. However, to this day, (and I'm in my forties.) I'm STILL pissed, that the whole time I was growing up, she would always blame the house being messy on ME. And I think she believed it, which made it worse. Once I hit about 8, I turned into a super organized neat freak, you could have done surgery in my bedroom, so always hearing her whine about the house being a mess, due to me, was grossly unfair. Side note, when I left home, the house got worse than ever....of course. She has to know it isn't normal, tho she would never admit it, because she gets very agitated when ever anyone tries to visit. Angry, and feeling who ever it is, is trying to make her life hell, by expecting to be allowed inside. I'm an only child, and it's mentally draining.
Thank you, what really depresses me, is my poor father, he comes over to my house, and it's like a weight is off him, just being in a house that can breath, my mother isn't so bad she can't get rid of things, and doesn't save garbage, or anything disgusting like that, but sees nothing wrong with having stacks of plastic crates, stacked in every room, and storage shelves in front of OTHER shelves, several deep. It's just odd. Her problem is if she has an interest in anything, she will then buy everything she can get her hands on, relating to it. For instance, she collects old catalogs, which translates into doing things such as collecting EVERY sears catalog from the 20's to the 70's. And hundreds of others, also. Nothing is "trash" but there is just so much, of any type of thing. Then she will move on to a new obsession. She used to do cross stitch, when she gave me all her supplies, I ended up taking 40 bags to Goodwill, after I had sorted out what I would actually use. Which was still enough to last me for years.
You're not the only one I can't have friends over excuses excuses that made me tremble as a made them up and mine is like a level 1 but it still is embarrassing to me. People think these people are crazy but they don't know what is actually happening.
well bitchyPOO maybe you should clean your mom's house and stop being madly insane about it, people bitch but do NOTHING.. does not make the bitchers look any better than the hoarder in my opinion. freedom of speech USA
My mom likes to hoard things too but thank God it's not trash but only the things she buys. Nothing can ever be thrown out coz she will somehow come up with a use for it.... We moved several times, every time, we would keep the old place for several years before my dad dumps the things there and either sell or rent the place out. The new place will be nice for a year or two and then things get out of hand again as new things accumulate. I don't have to endure the smell or bugs but I remember the fear of letting others visit our place. And since there are many things, I did not grow up in an organized environment where everything has its place.
As someone who grew up in a similar environment, this mindset comes from a place of mental illness. The family members that caused our house to look like this were depressed and had other emotional issues. I honestly think now that I am an adult and look back on it, I think they were just so depressed that the felt like the didn't deserve better than to just live like that. As my siblings and I were left to be the cleaners, which was just unfair, so after an uphill battle, we gave up and just let it consume us. Now I get such bad anxiety from a messy house. The trash starting to get full, a few dishes in the sink, some dust collecting somewhere, etc just starts to make me turn into a mess when I look at it. I'm not a neat freak by any means but it just gives me anxiety when people stop by or the idea of living like that again.
I was in such a similar place. As a teen I wanted to please my family and parents and get some kind of love. I used to spend hours getting a single room partially clean and they just threw garbage onto it anyway ruining anything I did ;( I just gave up one day and let it consume us. I'm glad I have my own job, soon my own place and own food especially because the food we have is maggoty and full of moths and has been for over a decade
I'm floored at the comments here, like "just throw the stuff away" as if they hadn't thought of that. It's like telling a depressed person to snap out of it or telling an alcoholic to simply stop drinking. It doesn't work that way. And family members can't just throw stuff out. Believe it or not, that just causes more problems and the hoarder just collects more stuff. My mother is a hoarder (although luckily she doesn't hoard trash or old food - and the floors don't have junk on them). Every one of us kids is obsessively clean and can't stand clutter. But when we were kids, the clutter was normal, as was hiding our mother's hoarding problem from the world. Looking back though, I cannot believe we lived that way. And what this woman said towards the end -- "my stuff is more important than you." -- that's EXACTLY how we felt.
For all who dont understand why hoarders don't throw away "garbage", try do see it from their point of few. That garbage is NOT garbage. To them it is what a TV, a computer, a couch or a car is. You don't just throw it away. If it is broken and you think it can be repaired, would you throw it away? When you were a child or a teen, would your mom have accepted it if you threw away a broken neckless of her? Or the coffeemachine? Im sure she wouldn't. So, hoarding parents dont allow it from their children either. Dont blame the children, please, dont. They are hurt enough allready. Knowing that your parent lives in such condition must be heartbreaking. Instead spend time with those children, show them that they are important. Noone really chooses to live like this. Noone.
I wanted to commend Chall for sticking up for the children who had no choice in their condition. For those who try to logically categorize the "hoarders" and state how easy it would be to clean up if you watch when groups come in to assist and clean up the mess pay attention to the confrontation the hoarder puts up now imagine this every minute of every day but not directed at a perfect stranger but against their children. What child has the tools to combat their parent whom they love & respect. After being beaten down you must accept your reality or flee but statistically how many runaways are from filthy houses?
the kids could have got off their butts and cleaned, they were probably on video games day and night and very non motivated.. kids nowadays are quite lazy..
i have a friend/manager who was one of these kids. i always would joke about how i hoard stuff, so when i found out she actually had to be removed from her house, i felt horrible and apologized profusely for joking about something so serious. it's something you really only encounter on tv unless you live it, and it can be hard to believe some people are really like this. in fact, my mother is almost at the opposite extreme---she will be cleaning the counter WHILE IM STILL EATING. like ma, the Clorox is getting in my food! i dont live at home, but im grateful my ma and pa set an example of a clean home, cause now i keep my house tidy as well.
My mother was a hoarder. It was infuriating. The kitchen, the backyard, tc. Looked like junkyards. I remember throwing out 2 yr old packs of bologna and she freaked out and retrieved them from the trash
+Libbi Charmaine - SonyaEnzo Well it wasn't the inside of the house, the holding was done on the outside. The whole yard was filled with trash and junk. At one time my father in law had around 70 children's bicycles, just an example. However the inside was very clean because my mother in law was not a hoarder. But in a way I think it may have been worse because everyone could see what was happening, there was no secrecy like there usually is. But I agree with you, I couldn't blame him either, I always just felt bad for how he was raised.
Megan, My mother was hoarder, she was not quite as bad as some, but enough of one that I could not invite people over and she was alcoholic. It was like living in a horror movie because you never knew what to expect. The woman was mentally ill. I remember cleaning by time I was 7 years old because I could not standing living in those conditions. Our home was a cock roach, and rat infested nightmare, and roaches which I am terrified of today would crawl on us when we were sleep. No matter how I cleaned my siblings and my mother would destroy my efforts. Lastly I am super clean neat freak and when I see shows like this my own experiences come back to hunt me. You cannot imagine the psychological damage the hoarding, her drinking, and emotional and physical abuse did to me. God is healing me, but I made a promise to myself I would never allow myself to live like this and I kept that promise. No kid should have to live like this.
My grandmother was a hoarder. She lost her family home which was basically a brothal or bar she lived above & losing everything made her never throw anything away. I remember cockroaches, disgusting living conditions and never a clean dish or area of the apartment she occupied. Now she's 92 & lives with me. Come to find out she actually likes things clean, she was just mentally harmed by losing it all to collect her own thoughts...that's my granny ❤️
That's the worst, but I think they should try to make a show about kids with OCD parents. My sister & I weren't allowed to touch anything in our house that didn't belong strictly to us. It was pure hell if we bumped into something & it would break. No food anywhere but the table. Everything had its place & my dad knew if something was touched or moved, he even knew if you watched tv or a VCR tape while he was gone. It was awful. You couldn't even mess up a rug & not fix it without severe punishment.
My parents were hoarders when I grew up and I was the opposite, but I knew not to terrorize my children with my cleanliness. What I did was if something was left behind, I would clean it and would never yell at the children. It is just as wrong to behave as though things are more important clean or dirty.
as the child of 2 hoarder parents, i can tell you now i have lost count of the amount of times we gutted that house, only for it to be trashed again in a matter of days. the constant accumulation of crap, and when you try any throw anything out, massive tantrums or a weeks worth of complaining following the cleaning for them to moan they cant find anything, i was glad to leave home at 21. i still cant take more than 20 mins in that house, my lungs hurt the smell an mould is that bad.
smshortcake99 usually child protective services doesn’t do anything and then you have a parent who hates and resents you. They can convince the child you are out to get them and the child feels even more hopeless. Living dirty is often considered a lifestyle choice. It is only when it becomes really exceedingly dangerous that they will take any action.
I had a hoarder room mate who was neglecting her toddler (yes she was evicted) well cps was called she used the excuse of “moving out” and they let her go without question I haven’t seen her since but my guess is that poor kid is probably living with her psycho neglectful mother
Omg bringing back memories of my childhood .....I remember those days... being humiliated to have friends over....making excuses for ur parent's or parent....when I was real little we used to ask santa for a clean house no toys no nothing just for Mommy to not sleep all day and clean the house.....so sad I feel for all children of hoarders it's a cluttered hell of a life
Hoarding is neglect for certain. It isn't normal that is for sure. If you are a kid surviving this, know that you can get out and get to a different life! I promise it is possible because I survived it and you can too!
It's a matter of fact attitude, not a proud one. Having grown up in condition simular to those, I get it. Your ashamed beyond belief but it's nearly impossible to break the cycle. Your addiction makes you want more stuff, and your depression makes it impossible to clean. You grow attached to the stuff and feel out of place and scared in a clean room. They aren't proud of it, they have come to terms with it.
I grew up in a filthy hoarder home. My mom never ever cleaned, no one would ever come to visit us and my friends would never come by because how bad it was which I can’t blame them, my brother and I were the smelling kids in class. We had 36 cats, 6 dogs, rats invaded the house, roaches and fleas. It was so bad! Times I put shoes on and the cats would Poop or pee in my shoes that I didn’t notice till I got to class and the school would complain to my mother and she would never see an issue in it. I forever had lice too! It was so horrible. Finally DCF got involved and took my brother and I and my grandma was the only one in the family to take us in and it was such a relief! We had a clean home, clean beds, clothes, towels, no roaches in our food, we weren’t the smelly kids anymore in class. I felt safe. My mother till this day is such a hoarder and even in her car it’s finality and smells so bad that the stench sticks to your clothes. My mother is also a heavy smoker so that smell and dirty house was horrible together. I thank God I never turned out like her now that I’m a mother. I’m such a clean freak and a germ freak because my grandmother taught me to be super clean and always taking care of yourself. I pray my mother seeks help because it’s so bad to still see her like that at 62 years old
It seems to me that there are two types of hoarders. One is people who are psychologically depressed, and consequently do not have the energy to keep their homes clean (or do anything else). The other type are people who have had an experience (e.g., death of a loved one, divorce) that made them feel powerless over their own lives, and filling their homes with stuff and having the ability to keep it gives them a feeling of control over their lives. I don’t understand this last part; it seems to me that they would get a feeling of control by removing the trash from their homes.
I am lazy af but my house is always clean and (as) tidy (as it can be with two little boys). My mum was a hoarder. She was manic depressive/alcoholic/drug addict and got worse after inheriting her mother's big house when she died. She would run around for days organising her mess into different rooms and other days do nothing.
Working w hoarders is tough. I wish that somehow the school social worker would pay a visit to these homes to make sure kids are okay. Unfortunately institutions only do just enough and nothing else.
So do u guys think i did the right thing? I called CPS last week. I’m a school photographer, I was at an Elementary school taking school pictures. I take about 150 pictures a day. One little girl stood out she was about 5 years old. I like to groom the students so that their hair and clothes look their best for their pic. So when I realized this little girls hair was in a very tangled messy pony tail I approached her. I noticed a very strong urine smell. I continued. As I’m undoing her ponytail I realize its very stiff and sticky and the smell was obviously coming from her hair. It was as if her hair hadn’t been washed or combed in months after getting drenched in urine. And it smelled like adult urine. As I’m doing my best to just tie it back in a side ponytail and combing atleats the outter layer because there was no way I would’ve been able to untangle her hair, She had a sad face so I ask her “are u ok?” She responded “yes 😔” I then realize shes wearing a boy snow glove and right away know she is hiding something. I asked her to take it off just for the picture and sure enough..her pinky nail is missing. I took the picture and she sat on the side to wait for her other class mates. The whole time shes just staring at me like if she wants to tell me something or if she just liked me because I was so caring with her. After the kids left I mentioned everything to her teacher. And carelessly she replies oh yeah thnks for brushing her hair her moms a mess and she always drags her in like that. I told her shouldn’t we report this? She just shrugged her shoulders and left. I wrote down the little girls name and called CPS when I got home. Idk whats going on in that household but there is no excuse for a child to be sent to school that way. I understand parents can’t buy the best clothes but common. I hope I saved this young girl and idk if there was something better I could’ve done 😟
Thank you for helping the little girl......SHAME on the teacher / school for accepting this child's as being normal....the school should be punished for not reporting this abuse !!!
PV, I honestly would’ve done the same thing. That’s absolutely the saddest thing I’ve heard. Poor little girl. And shame on that teacher for not being more involved and doing more for that child! It infuriates me when people who should be there to look out for the innocent children don’t do more.
I grew up just like this and I have an enormous amount of bitterness towards my mom and have severe OCD about keeping my house clean.
Tonja - I grew up like this or worse as well.
As soon as I moved out everything was clean all the time.
My mother is gone - and when I see my father he literally pokes funnat me for having/wanting things clean.
It took me decades to get past the mental scars my parents inflicted on me as a child growing up in this mess.
I remember reading an article re: the children of hoarders, and those particular children (now adults) were just like you: extremely diligent toward being clean and vigilant re: messes. One young woman even threw out her diploma (college) because she was afraid of paper stacking up. According to the therapist consulted for the article, she stated that it's not an uncommon occurrence for children of hoarders to go to the other extreme (being fastidiously neat). You're not alone. :-)
My mom was also very messy and not the cleanest when it came to keeping house through my childhood... and I’m a total neat freak because of it, I remember feeling embarrassed when I would have friends over and vowing never to let my daughter endure that type of torment
@@alilahsutton6888 I have always wondered if there is any support groups for people that went through this type of treatment?
Same here
For all of us who complained when parents made us do chores...how blessed are we?
yeah I'm glad the house doesn't look like that
Right!!
exactly!
I agree
😂😂
For all the people saying that the CHILDREN should clean the house, just imagine trying to clean a whole house by yourself while the parent/s will not let you get rid of anything and will sometimes resort to emotional and physical abuse to stop you from getting rid of stuff! Children's efforts are futile when it comes to stopping parents' from hoarding and they should not be blamed for the condition their house is in.
You saw how bad of a state those houses were in, that's an enormous task to make a child do and incredibly unfair one as it's not the children who collect the most stuff and cause the majority of the mess. And the mess they do make, guess who they learned it from?
Exactly. How is a child who grows up in that chaos automatically supposed to know how to clean? They need a proper foundation provided by the parents.
exactly my mom isnt that bad like in these videos but i dont wanna take my boyfriend home to bc it doesnt looks normal, and when i tried to get rid of something she fished it out of the trash again and i dont even know how to deal w that😭 i hate it here (im 15)
I think its ridiculous & totally clueless, when someone say the children should do the cleaning job.
The hoarders strongest nature is they much2 more care to their junk, more then to their children. They rather lose their children then their junks.
As long a kids is dependent to their hoarders parent, basically its impossible for they to help clean the house.
@@marielol141 Happened to me too.
My mom would say we don’t help, but when we tried she would go through the garbage and retrieve everything. It was really dreadful. I left at 18.
For those bashing the kids for not cleaning, understand in many cases they have no choice. Hoarders that live with others can be skilled manipulators and abusers, who use threats, gaslighting, or emotional blackmail to keep control of the environment. I've seen it firsthand, and it is terrifying the means some will use to protect their stuff.
I'm not saying that's what was done here, but I think some compassion and understanding is in order.
I agree 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I agree. I also live with a manipulative hoarder who rather see me leave than lose his stuff. Very little help for people who live with hoarders. It is not a case of 'just get rid of it'. Ive resorted to being very sneaky and loading up to 9 bags of junk away when he has gone to work. Now he is retired so is at home all day - now I feel more trapped.
Plus imagine how it feels to work so hard to clean all that shit just for your mother to do her usual habits again and ruin it . You feel defeated , like no need to clean anymore . I can relate and ik how it feels
I agree. I don't even know where to begin. I hated being blamed for all the mess. They knew it was wrong. They knew they had to do something about it, but they were too damn weak and so they just pushed the blame on the kids, so they don't have to feel guilty.
What really urked me was cleaning out the basement, only for it to get filled with more stuff. They would spend hundreds of dollars on these tools. And I would ask why they bought that tool. Come to find out, they needed it for one little thing and rather than asking to borrow it or something, they just decided to waste the money and buy it. I eventually had to tell them Home Depot rents tools and they should consider that for their one time use projects.
For me, it created purchasing anxiety. I don't know if any of you guys got that. I will spend days agonizing over whether or not to purchase something. I think I've lost my impulse buy. I have all this stuff in my Amazon "wish list" that I just never bothered to purchase. It sounds like a good problem, but it isn't, because it can lead to delays in getting things you really do need.
Like teenagers can't.clean bathroom.:& Thier. Own room?
Omg my house isnt even messy and this makes me want to clean even more. It makes my skin crawl!!
Whenever I watch a show about about hoarders I also find myself cleaning up afterward. I call a charity such as Diabetes Foundation to come to pick up a bag of donated clothing, Like Melissa, my house is not at all messy. Well that's one to get inspired to clean!
I have the opposite problem I throw things out so easily lol
I do the same exact thing. I clean more harder.
Huh?
Something wrong with these pple head nobody in their right mind would do something like that, they
This is what I grew up in. My mother was a hoarder and so was my grandmother. I inherited it too, and struggled with it growing up. After I moved out, I put myself through therapy and learned how to clean properly (because I never learned how) and keep control of clutter. It's still an insidious issue I will probably deal with the rest of my life, but I have a clean home now and I intend to keep it that way.
longtail4711 how are you dealing now?
longtail4711 #breakthecycle
longtail4711 Since this was six years ago, I hope you are doing well right now. It’s not easy!
With Asian parents. The house needs to be spotless or else you’ll get the belt.
I’ve been clean my whole life with an OCD mom and a Perfectionist father
Good on you! And if something bad happens to you and you're unable to clean (depression/injury) always remember that you can hire a cleaner. If your house is immaculate before they come in and you pay them to pick up for 1 hour a week, thats $20 a week to maintain a near-immaculate house without you having to do a damn thing. Then maybe every 6 months, up that to 6 hours for a deep clean. If you hire college students or people on craigslist it can be even cheaper. At my most poor, I was considering cleaning someone's entire house (at medium level filth including laundry, dishes, windows and moping and shining floors) for $100 from craigslist.
Seeing that dead cat makes me feel so gross. No living thing should go through should live in something like that.
Asull23 id feel the same if it was a dog instead!!!
SJPL Sjpl wtf its still an animal
SJPL Sjpl what’s wrong with cats?
They may not have known the cat died because of all the other smells and infestations.
Can you imagine how awful that house smelled! That cat was mummified it had been dead so long. Ewww!
My mom used to say when we were little: You can be poor, but you don’t need to be dirty. That struck a chord with me from an early age. These parents have no idea how much damage they’ve done to their kids.
Yeah, heck even homeless people can be clean by using paper towels and soap dispensers in public restrooms
They probably do know the damage they’re doing but don’t care
My parents too!
@@MustacheCashStash125 the hoarder parents are too involved in their own stuff to even worry about a child. That’s the sad part you can’t grow up normal and not come out of it unscathed.
It’s sad that some people who are privileged, blessed, or lucky (whatever you wish to call it) enough to own a home, don’t take care of it.
I think that if you are put together to raise enough money to buy a house you should be able to keep it at a reasonable level of cleanliness
they own houses , running water , electricity and all yet dont keep it clean! amazing!
Yeah that's what kills me about this show I would do anything to have my own home and it hurts to see these people squander homes like this and it makes me think was it really that easy, previously to buy stuff? Including houses
I agree, the "American dream" owning a home is hype and this is another reason why. I couldn't imagine buying a home than having to live with a neighbor like this.
Even I’m messy, but my sisters said I would end up on this show, and frankly I’m not even close to this level of filth
My mother was a level 5 hoarder and I suffered similar things like this young man was talking about. I remember the horrific stench of our refrigerator. A fresh gallon of milk would go sour in about three days. I had no friends, I was embarrassed and ashamed. She did not cook, wash clothes, clean...nothing. I remember when I was in sixth grade, I wore the same clothes without being washed for one week to school. The school complained but nothing was done; nothing. She never cared about me as a child, or my siblings. Many times we went hungry because there was nothing to eat. She ate out so according to her, it was not her problem. She worked long hours just to escape the reality of her home and she allowed her children to live in that filth without a care in the world. People are calling this a mental illness, which it is, it most certainly is a mental illness. BUT, there comes a time where these people must be held accountable for their own mental illness, especially when it comes to how their illness affects their helpless children. We are the ones who suffer because they have a choice to clean it up and refuse but we have no choice in that matter because we have to put up with it.
One might say, "well why didn't you take charge and clean the crap up and start throwing stuff out?" We tried to do this but it was all in vain because every time we tried to clean it up or throw something out, she knew that her "junk" was thrown out (obviously) even though it was very little of a clean up. Then you get the RAGE. Do you know what the rage is? The rage is the severe tantrum and dumpster diving that she would do as a result of her "stuff" being thrown out. So, you not only have to deal with an absolutely exhausting task of cleaning up the crap but instead of being greeted with appreciation and gratefulness, you are greeted with extreme hostility and RAGE! So, you give up and as a child of a hoarder I realized that the only escape was to flee any way you can find a way to move out, just go. You simply cannot reason with these people. I don't care what the hoarder show has to say about how sorry they feel for these people. Sorry folks, I do not feel sorry for my mother. She created nothing but MISERY for anyone and everyone who was directly in her life because she CHOSE to live that lifestyle. These people are not in a state of delusion or psychosis where they don't understand that their house looks like the city dump. They REFUSE to change and do NOT care about how it affects their loved ones; especially their children.
Can anyone, anyone reading this tell me that a hoarder like this loves her child? What mother would chose "garbage" over the well-being and love of her child.
Am I wrong?
First of all, I don't "hate" anyone; not even my mother. However, seeing this video triggered unpleasant memories of my childhood and therefore resulted in an emotional response. No, my mother did not love me or anyone else in any capacity because she is not capable of love. The reason I say this with absolute certainty is because in addition to a hoarding disorder, she also has the narcissistic personality disorder. This was determined by a psychiatrist and not some "counselor". Being a child of a hoarder who also is a narcissist is not something that is easy to cope with or recover from. I accept her for who she is and I have no desire to see that woman again. I forgave her because honestly she's not worth hating but I do hate having to live with the dreadful memories of my childhood and the abuse that she inflicted on every family member who was directly or indirectly involved with her including myself. My psychiatrist described her best... he said she was "radioactive toxic poison" and he was dead on. A hoarder who is a narcissist = lost cause!
No you are right!! But every problem of these hoarders could be easily solved! They CHOOSE to be like that! This is a symptom of soul problems they have. It could be from loneliness or depression or fear or whatever. Still this is NOT an excuse to neglect your own children! But like you said, she was/is a narcisst.
No. My mother surely had Borderline Personality Disorder, was an alcoholic, and was terrifying.
Sorry to hear that. I hope that you are doing okay?
angela watts
No, but thanks.
My mom was the child of alcoholic hoarder
I’m so proud of her how she made it out of that cycle and took care of me my brother and sister it’s truly a horrific cycle of neglect.. check on your loved ones often there’s many battles you don’t see them fighting
C Stottie ‘
It's not uncommon for undiagnosed neurodiverse people to self medicate with alcohol or drugs. Lack of theory of mind can be a bitch on those around them and the anxiety/depression caused by the lack of ability to manage social connections really does take a toll. It is easier to connect with objects and special interests than people when you are an undiagnosed autistic. I really think that's what "hoarders" are. It's true for me. Finally diagnosed at 34 with autism. I started taking medicine to help me focus and reduce my anxiety, occupational therapy to help with my dyspraxia and talk therapy to move past the self blame as well aa mourning the life i could have had with an earlier diagnosis. Knowing i lack a theory of mind makes me realize that my actions affect others and often in ways i don't intent/understand/anticipate. Not being able to motor plan through a task before something distracts me was a major barrier before. Now i have set up better personal boundaries of "better to complete 1 thing than have a bunch of unfinished things i had started" and my family is starting to understand that i really can only effectively do 1 thing at a time. So, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. But i just hope science can catch up to what i have.already learned and figured out myself
People go through a lot sometimes and you may never know. Some act it out differently in life. You may never know, if the don't tell you. Some want help and some don't know how to ask. If you hold on to everything, there is a problem.
Beautifully said.
Anytime when I feel just too lazy to do the household chores, I watch some videos about hoarding. It works, immediately I get an impulse to do tidying and cleaning.
Same
Oh yeah for sure, makes me want to vacuum the driveway
same
Makes me want to throw everything away and just keep the furniture and kids possessions
That's like the only reason I watch these kind of videos.
I would go INSANE living in that.
Sandy Heesom yeah - you kinda do go a little insane.
Once you have the opportunity to leave the healing can begin - but it takes time - lots of time.
Yeah there is barely any room to breath
Sandy Heesom same
Same
It starts off small a box here "just for a while" and it stacks up and up and up and it gets worse and worse arguments start and feelings get hurt and makes you want to cry eventually everyone makes small paths and it's almost like the mess become walls slowly... it's horrible living like this and you don't know what to do because nothing ever changes
LOL, "it had decayed and turned into soil." Um, folks, yeah, you got a problem when your trash has decomposed in your home.
Mindraker1 why are you laughing at the conditions these children had to live in, that’s disgusting
If it decomposes into soil, it has been in disgustingly warm and moist conditions. Your house would have to be that disgusting to have junk composting. I know that is a mental condition, but cmon
Self abuse isn't funny
@@fubluhh8562 this is what happens when the world stays ignorant about undiagnosed autism in adults with PTSD and shaming them for it
@Christina Reynolds they are autistic people with PTSD who aren't understood and in a world that is hostile towards them. You aren't helping
Becoming desensitized is survival when you're the child
This is so true
They know different. It’s just easier to just desensitized like said before and live with it. Any kind of abuse goes like that. You know better, but as a child what can you do.
@@virgie4715 I'm a grown woman now with a family of my own. My mother remains firmly in denial. All of her children are now minimalist or learning to live minimalistic.
Barrier Boy and that usually happens during childhood. At on point in time as a child, I was being abused and I knew the way I was treated and the way we lived (NOTHING like this; different situation) was not the norm. Hell I could watch tv and notice that much.
Amen.
My mother has hoarded my whole life. Severely. I am 24 and just recently moved out. I also struggle with heroin addiction. Pray for me.
Praying for u.. currently still going through living with a hoarder mom..
@@soulanikiyoko3623 same. It's hard to be happy in it and even harder when you realize you have a long ways to go until you can move out and that there is nothing you can do about it. But it makes me happy there are people like me that know what I'm going through. I feel trapped because being a teenager should be the funest part of your life. I hope it ends soon so I can enjoy my childhood before its gone....
Our mothers preferred rubbish over their children. I believe hoarders are often narcissists. I hope you get help for your addiction. If you get better, I think you should cut contact with your mother and any siblings who made you feel like crap
We, survivors deserve recovery and healing-I’m a recovering alcoholic-I attend online zoom AA meetings-I’m also a former alcohol and drug counselor-recovery is possible and it is amazing and it’s lifelong-I’m in my late 40’s and seeing a therapist again-healing is incremental-we deserve to for once put ourselves first🌈
@@Annedowntherabbithole my mother’s a hoarder & is definitely a narcissist. Covert narcissist.
My mom is a hoarder. I honestly think its a form of child abuse to have your kids raised in that environment. Its beyond embarrassing, you can never have friends over or anything. I was embarrassed that she was my mom my whole life. I avoid visiting her at all costs. Last time I came over, her place is worse than I have ever seen it. She should be on this show. Ive even suggested it to her.
PootStip I HAVE helped her many times, so have other people in our family, Ive cleaned up her house for her, and she clutters it back up within a week, she wants to live that way. She refuses therapy, she doesnt want help. She refuses to change. You cant help some one who constantly refuses it. Dont assume to know anything about me when you clearly dont
I dont live with her, but I had to grow up in that environment. No Im not a minor anymore.
PootStip As i said already, she refuses help from everyone in the family. How hard is that to understand you moron?
MoveitorLoseit2 I'm so sorry to hear what you go through. You are right, it is child abuse. If you ever need to talk to anyone, I am here. I may be on TH-cam, but I do care. I am female, 19 years old. I left home because of abuse, but not from hoarding.
It's not a dick way of putting its the truth
I used to drive a school bus, and one morning I stopped to pick up 2 kids at their home. The younger child (male) didn't want to go to school (these were special needs kids), so I sent my assistant to go up to the house to get him. Their mom wasn't home. The assistant finally got the boy out of the house, locked the door, and got him on the bus. She took pictures with her phone of the condition of the home (mom was a hoarder) , filthy, dog crap and piss everywhere, piles of clothes, garbage all over. We reported it to CPS, and the kids were sent to live with their grandma.
Sad. Poor children had it doubly difficult living there.
How do you know that was dog crap it could have been the special needs kids craping on the floor my child still can't figure out how to use the toilet, and takes off clothes. Mom was probably overwhelmed with all the care of having to keep them safe, and trying to keep a house clean when these kids throw things all over the place. I'm sure the dad was never in the picture nobody helping her which is what she needed. Not people making her out to be a bad person. I don't know how a grandmother will do any better she is to darn old, and tired. Makes no sense to put all that stress on an old lady sounds like people just want paychecks. Maybe you all should listen to other peoples story before tossing out judgement you don't know what it is like to live the way they do.
Even if it was human poop, having human poop "everywhere" along with pee and garbage isn't anymore acceptable than non-human poop everywhere. The animal source of the poop isn't really relevant when it's everywhere especially if it was that way when the assistant was there and still there when CPS came. And the poster didn't mention the age nor condition of the grandma so it's certainly possible she was young enough - my mom and dad are grandparents and are certainly capable of taking care of kids, in fact they have two special needs kids that they do take care of.
No it is not acceptable that is why there still needs to be a hospice for the children who are severely affected. The problem with the institutions was abuse, and way to many people in there that did not need to be there. A hospice with round the clock workers, with holistic doctors, therapists, and nurses on board is more appropriate for these children. A parent can only do so much. The days of people having children at age twenty are probably going away the future generation will probably have children at a later age which means old parents my mom had me at forty three so there is no way she would be able to take care of my son or help me out if she were around.
@@etherealenergy9471 Are you a hoarder yourself? Because you were going out of your way to make excuses for those people.
Wtf? Aren’t they afraid of rats being hidden in that mess. Just looking at this mess gives me anxieties. Wow poor guy the 5th stage 🥺😣
Rats dont hide. You would know if they were there
They found 2 dead cats!! I don't think rats are the least! Lol!!
AnonAMom I guess you would know better 🤷🏻♀️
@@jo-anncintron6234 people are disgusting
@@jo-anncintron6234 it's true. you KNOW when you have mice/rats, they don't try to be subtle about their presence in your walls lmao. imagine being woken up consistently at around 2am for weeks bc you hear a scratching but it's coming from inside your walls
I cried for him. He was happy he couldn't remember the words to the song. His mother couldn't keep a clean house so she couldn't keep him. 💙
When he said the other kids made up a song my heart dropped. I was afraid that he'd remember it so clearly that he'd sing it.
I want to hug my mom for keeping our house so clean. I had two friends who's mom's never ever cleaned. Ones house looked like this. It was horrific. I never wanted to go there.
The poor kids that live in this kind of environment, so sad.
EricaYE6 And boys
maridepp53 I can't imagine what it is like to live in this filth! This is so horrible! From Janie
maridepp53 This horrible and sad . My heart goes out to them. From Janie
Shout-out from a kid that lived in category 3
Where's CPS when you need them?
My stepfather is a hoarder, and my mother thought it was perfectly fine to put me as a child in that nasty house.
I’m 24 years old now and to this day I still can’t forget her for all that horrible years
horrible
Roberta Marques I’m sorry you went through that.
Blame him not her. She made allowances to have companionship and as horrible as that sounds, it is what some people have to do. Not everyone is strong and she should be forgiven for the lack of strength...but he should not since he obviously threatened her with absence if she didn't accept him and allow his OC tendencies.
@@Moralatheist101 he has a menthal health issue he cant help this and the way he his. he needs help! she should have chosen a better situation for her kid.
@@lijntje266 Again, you are blaming the victim, because if you don't think she was as much of a victim as her kids, you should probably rethink your argument. It wasn't her fault that she was in a relationship with a sick man and she didn't have the strength to get out of it. At the very least she had a mental instability also that kept her in the situation, and that means you should be pointing out her mental unhealth as much as you are pointing out his. But Americans seem to downplay the mental issues that keep women in those types of relationships while at the same time saying "she should have done better". If we taught our girls that they could be stronger instead of telling them that a relationship will save them - maybe things would be different. But we don't and that's what's really to blame. Instead of putting the focus on her and lack of action, maybe, just maybe, put it on the problem...him.
This is so heartbreaking. I wish there was enough funding to ensure all houses with children have a yearly visit by authorities to make sure the child is thriving and safe and the parent is coping.
two dead cats?????WTF wtf!!!!!
Exactly
And it sounds as though this guy had seen more of that growing up.
Yikes. I would either bury or cremate them (if cremating pets were a thing).
And he was totally nonchalant about it too😆😂.............🤢🤮
VanillaFlare Productions
Yes, you can cremate your pets!
Child abuse and no one does anything to help these girls
Tragic
These girls are completely capable to clean up themselves. I see tons of their crap all over the place. Why does everyone blame the mom? These are grown women acting like they have no choice. Entitled little spoiled brats. Help your mother clean up girls. Show her some love & respect.
@@kimlassiter8904 What if when the girls do take out all the trash, the mom just takes it all back in and scolds them? The mother does not deserve to be respected considering how she let's her daughters live in such filth. Does she even try to clean up? Probably not. All I can say is WTF.
Yoxxiwolf the girls said they just got used to it. Did you see their rooms? They are obviously not cleaning, or hanging up clothes or trying to do anything but take advantage of the mom & use her as a scapegoat for their mess. Blame mom because it’s easier than cleaning it up.
@@kimlassiter8904 Trust me... The litter you see in their room belongs to their mom. Hoarders do that. When they run out of their own space, they will start using other people's space. So they disrespect the children's boundaries and if they refuse or push back, then the hoarder will guilt them. If it's someone like their own children whom they have authority over, it's very easy to manipulate them, or simply disregard their desires for a free room. Those girls have no option. My hoarder had her stuff all over my room. I couldn't see my own walls. I had no say. She also tried to hide her stuff in a friend's house and made herself look like the victim when he found out and asked her to take it away. As an independent adult, he had the ability to do that. The girls Don't.
@@kimlassiter8904 Shut the fuck up. You have absolutely no idea what it's like to live a life where you're not important and your mother keeps HER THINGS in YOUR ROOM. you sound like a spoiled child who's never dealt with anything worse than a scolding from your parents. don't speak on something you clearly know nothing about
We were taught we were the problem. I kid you not. As in " If it weren`t for you damn kids the house would be clean. " I grew up in a haze of cockroaches and filth. You want to know how screwed up a person becomes because nothing, and I mean nothing in your life was ever normal. I am a clean freak. To the point my husband goes crazy sometimes. When I see filth I literally have a full blown panic attack. My older brother is like me. My younger married someone exactly like my mom, and has lived in filth all his life. I lost my mom 12 years ago, and not a moment goes by that I don`t miss her, but I still can`t wrap my mind around the fact she could do this to us. It is childhood trauma in it`s deepest levels. Just ask my husband.
It has been the opposite for me I don't freak out when things are not perfect. I learned to enjoy the simple things in life.
Ethereal Energy when those simple things build up and become not so simple overtime, it’s hard to enjoy. i’d rather be worried about cleanliness and organization than wallow around in endless growing filth.
Bella Olivia- be careful, my grandma was a horder my mother is terrifying clean... I remember being screamed at because I couldn't meet her standards of clean. As an adult I am not a clean person, I live in organized Chaos because being to clean freaks me out
I'm sorry you had to live in such Horrendous & maddening conditions♡ I agree partially w/the other comment below but must also add-Know that you're not your mother & even though you want to maintain a Clean & neat space try to be mindful not to create a new yet different & smaller but harmful pattern for your own family♥
My Grandma was a hoarder, and so are my mom and my Aunt, my moms sister and my cousin my Aunts daughter. I have to fight hoarding all of the time. I have a Therapist and I have someone who comes and cleans for me 3 days a week and I take meds. I am the only one in my family that gets any help. I too go crazy over certain things. If I see any cat or dog poop I go crazy. If the cat boxes are full and I can smell them I go into full clean mode. If I see a stain on one potty pad I change it. I swear I never want my house to smell like dirty animal shit ever. My whole Aunts house smells like a cat box (17 cats and they shit all over the house) and my moms house you could smell the dog crap from the street because she was a rescuer. I would go to her house and help her clean. I would have to use a shovel and a large 33 gallon trash can to pick/scrap up the papers, dog food and dried dog turds off the linoleum. She would have dog shit smeared all over the floor boards on the walls. To this day she denies it and she says her house was always clean and that I NEVER came over and helped to clean her house. REALLY??
This is child abuse and neglect. I grew up in a home just like this. I couldnt ever have friends over it was aweful.
Honestly these people need to have their children taken away! That is neglect, children being raised in filthy disgusting houses, not having access to fresh food, clean clothes, etc!
And the 'disorder' comments, I have a mental disorder, I suffer from severe anxiety, I also suffer from multiple conditions/disorders that cause debilitating pain, so I can barely stand or move at times. I still keep my house fucking spotless and ensure there is clean food, water & clothing for my daughter!
mandabella9109 they have to go out of their ways to make a mess like that. It is behind just "not picking up." My mom was a hoarder and her excuses drove me insane.
the kids can clean, the relatives can clean, the neighbors can help clean..
sometimes these people could have a variety of health problems as well...
abused etc.. one can never know..
they have a mental illness... their thinking is probably very disorganized that, they can't remember or even keep up with daily living skills. They need people to assist them. I don't think they do this on purpose... they probably get gifts or find things and they get attached so then it starts to pile up and then because their minds are disorganized, they forget they had certain things and it gets lost in their home, so then they end up buying more stuff because they forgot they had certain things... and that's how it piles up... they need someone to help them clean and keep the place organized... they need to be shown ways that can help them know where everything is at so that they don't get confused... I can relate to having hoarding tendencies but I know why it happens and it mostly happens because having a small space, and having furniture that doesn't work with the way my mind works... I prefer shelves rather than drawers, drawers, you can't see your clothes so clothes gets lost there and then if one has a lack of space, things are put in places that they shouldn't be. I know how my mind works so I know what to stay aware of and what not to buy or bring to my home... I think for a hoarder, they find value in things so much to the point that it becomes unhealthy... When they find something, they believe it's treasure... and it's worth something. So they really need someone to be there and help them figure out how to organize everything and get rid of what they don't need. They are not neglecting their children on purpose... if a person can't even take care of themselves, they are basically people who need to be assisted... they aren't being this way to be bad people or to make life bad for others... that's not their intention at all. They need things to be set up in a way that is easy for them to process... because having so much stuff, becomes hard to process after a while because a person doesn't know where to start cleaning and how so they give up on trying. There should be something done for this mental illness to help them, like there should be people that come to a home and help them become more organized with easier steps on getting things done and where to place things so that they don't get lost. This is a serious mental illness... Hoarders need more help... They need help with daily living skills and organizing mainly... and I hope it becomes more widely available so that this doesn't happen anymore... The thing with hoarding is that I think a lot of people have to pay to get their house cleaned but that's only part of the help they need, after getting their house cleaned, they need to set up the correct ways to help them keep it clean and probably visit them every other week to make sure that things aren't accumulating again and if they are, organize it again until organizing becomes second nature for them.
Completely agree. Mentally unfit to care for them, disorders and addiction are selfish
I grew up like this, except with billions of roaches. I remember having to shake out my backpack and all my books and things before school because they would hide in everything. The roaches ruined electronics, the microwave, our oven. It was crazy living like that and explaining those conditions to others is hard. The scope of them and the actual reality of BILLIONS of roaches is almost unbelievable, but what I lived in. Both of my sisters struggle to manage their spaces. I live differently. I dont want to have to live in shame over someone seeing how I live.
April Campbell oh wow. Were you able to move out and live on your own? It must been so hard. 😢
April Campbell+ We used to have a problem like that, but it’s been fixed. Barely any now
*Me and my husband drop roach Bombs at least once a year, set poisen out all the time, and fastitiously clean up food messes. It's bad, but at least with minor maintinance we normally have peace. No house should be over flowing with roaches though, and no one should be shaking them off like a cat with fleas. Am sorry for your parents*
😥
dd your parents let this happen or was it just unfortunate?
My mom is a hoarder. I'm young, and I have a little sister. She blames it on being homeless and having to live with my grandmother. She blames it on the stress basically. I've cleaned multiple times but her and my little sister mess everything up again. No one has ever been inside my house and I have to hide it from everyone. I'm a teen, and I don't even have my own room or privacy. The bathroom is in my grandmothers room and it doesn't even have a real door on it. I have to stay in a disgusting room with my mom while my little sister sleeps on a chair in the living room. My mattress has holes everywhere and I never have clean clothes. I don't know what to do. I love her but I don't want to stay with her anymore like this
+Shapoot Go into a search engine and search for “Children’s Protective Services” in your town. That should get you to a website containing their phone number. Call it. You do not have to give your name. They will take it from there.
shapoot,
I know what that is like, my heart goes out to you, our stories are similar. Although, I am a grown woman, my life consisted of cleaning up everybody's mess, and it still did no good because it would return to the same filthy conditions. The advice I can give you is get some psychological counseling, what you're going through is not normally, and you may not understand but it is damaging you. By the time, you're 17 or 18 go away to school, try to work, and get you a place to live. I will pray for you and I hope with all my heart your situation changes.....God bless you!!!
+Shapoot : Speak with an adult who you can rely on. It can be a relative, family or professionals in government. Here are some thing you can do 1. Learn to clean. Ask any supermarket to work for free for them for one month time, do it before summer. 2. Similtanously speak with your mom about your condition at home. Tell her that things have to change. Simply try to convince her 3.Order a garbage container which is used for businesses. 4. Since now you have some experience on cleaning, use what you learned to clean your home. 5. Start slow. If there is water bottles, sell it and give the money to your mom, may be that would help her change her view on cleaning. 6. Clean your living room. You may find many things that you like which you wish to behold. Be courageous, and throw it whether you like or not. That will help you to become better at taking decisions. 7. Give things that can be usable to charities, call or go to them. Make it ready and take it out when they come to take it. 8. You will get upset and your mom will get mad. It is normal reaction. First clean your room, just leave the simple things such as furniture, and the things that you are using for everyday. Take all your clothes out, the cloths that does not fit you give it to charities or throw it. 9. Show your progress to your mom, and get her convinced, but it is not important because she will resist to make change. It is normal reaction. Clean rooms which she is not completely watching you. Like if she is in leaving room, clean bed rooms, or kitchen or bathroom. Make your summer a clean up project.
or, ask any relatives to come to your home and assist you. But make it your personal dedication, start cleaning, ask others to help and if they did not consider it as not a problem. Be courageous, courageousness is learned, so you have to acquire it from your own self.
Option two is to call the authorities, and let them help you. At first you will be ashamed, your mom might get upset or mad at you. But it is normal. It is natural human reaction to react negatively to things we perceive as not good. You will be doing the right thing to call the authority. You can call the children protective service or speak with health assistant at your school or a doctor. You can ask them not to give out your name when they come at your home. They will find a convincing excuse to your mom such as we are feeling your children are not very well, so we came to speak with you. Or someone gave us a tips.... Don't worry, they will help you. Either they will take you out of the house until your mom receive help in becoming clean again, or they will help you in cleaning it up. The former is likely to happen if your condition is very bad. Remember the government is there to help you. You just have to ask. They will not decline to help you. You need to be courageous and ask for help. If you cannot follow the first option of cleaning your home by yourself, you have to ask for help before you also become damaged physically or psychologically. You do not need your children to live the life you have now. If you are not going to change now, then when are you going to change. If you did not change now, it will be difficult or beyond difficulty to make change later in your life. You need to spend your childhood as a normal teen enjoying your life, because you cannot return your life. As long you stay silent, nothing will change to better, the damage will increase every hour.
My good wishes.
+Comprehend Nature
Ma'am I think you need to re-read her comment. The child said she was cleaning in the first place and they just messed it up, geez. At least listen before speaking.
+Gidget Hrobowski : Thank you for the correction. +Shapoot: I am glad you are doing something. I will leave my comment as it is, so that maybe some part of it becomes helpful to you. I also advice you to do some google search.
The 2 dead cats they found, imagine living with that underneath you, I’m sick just thinking of it. This show never ceases to just blow my mind with how people can let their houses get so unorganized
The smell of 2 dead cats in your house has got to be bad....
I KNOW
CPS should add hoarding next to drug addiction and domestic abuse.
ValentinesEve1996 I wouldn’t say domestic abuse but hoarding is an addiction. And addiction and hoarding are both mental illnesses.
They do take children and elderly out of hoarding homes if found out. I don't know if it is everywhere or certain states or counties.
They consider it a type of abuse, but not even close to drug addiction or domestic. It's considered unsanitary and unfit living space to were they place it in a category of endangerment to the child.
They sort of do. I'm not certain how it's categorized, but I had a close friend growing up who was removed from her home for a few months because her mom was a hoarder. As soon as my friend went back, I believe her mom went back to it, but I don't know for sure. I just remember stopping by her house when we were in high school because she needed to grab something on the way to meet up with our other friends, and their garage had an insane amount of junk in it.
ValentinesEve1996 it does the same amount of damage
My mom was a hoarder and it was a deep dark secret for a long time. I cant even explain the amount of shame I felt (and still do) about it, as if its my fault. I have talked to my mom about it a million times and even when it seems like we have a breakthrough nothing changes. She doesnt even think she is a hoarder! That is absolutely absurd to me! I have A LOT of resentment towards her for how I grew up and now my compassion for her situation is running thin. I understand its a mental illness but get help!!!! I have a lot of anger knowing that she adopted me and I was sent to live in that disgusting environment for 18 years. I love her more than anything but I really dont think she should have ever been a mother. I feel guilty for even saying that but having a child in those conditions is essentially a form of child abuse. It angers me that she does not recognize that.
Well i happen to agree with you. I can also relate to the shame. Its really hard especially as children to deal with such things. Hard to work thru even as adults!
I can relate as well i lived it the same conditions it was and still is very heard for me knowing that my mom still live like dat but at the same time i preferred the love that my mom gave me then the cps coming and taking me away , and that probably will end her life , I understand how much pain and shame you must have felt and I’m sorry for that , but don’t be so mad at her please do not do it it’s a very difficult mental illness and even with help it didn’t work :( I really hope you find peace with in to forgive her I did the same and it’s still bugs me inside , you r not alone !!!
free2bmanson - There are a lot more of us than I thought. =( With my Mom, it wasn't a neurotic attachment to objects, but difficulty keeping things clean. I know she suffered with depression for years & years, would sleep all day, the whole nine yards... But would never see a doctor about it. I've been through it all. You love them & wish it was easy for them to make a change, but it really isn't. I currently suffer from some of the same tendencies (having trouble keeping things clean), & have the same depression anxiety that makes trying to 'fix' things that much harder. It can feel overwhelming trying to clean up when it's already so bad, you feel like you're not getting anywhere.
I don't blame you, it makes perfect sense to feel resentment & frustration... the whole ordeal is a curse & makes every aspect of your life harder. I hope you can find a way to forgive your Mom, or maybe even try to find her help (easier said than done, though, I know).
@@KyrieChii please get help from family, friends, neighbors, professionals. Imagine everynight yourself happy, energetic in your clean pretty home. Keep up your faith!! It will give you the strenght and hope and courage you need to love yourself, your home, your life back again.
I know what you’ve been through and I still feel so much shame and guilt.
*I'm off to clean my bedroom*
*someone pass me the bleach*
I ran out sorry
@@milanzielhuis6287 *all good*
Me too
Bleach Yes! Mixed with dawn kills bugs too. I throw out things my daughters want to keep. They never know. Never ending battle with possessions you don't need . Coat hangers. Been throwing them out and they don't go away. Kind of weird.
A fucking dead cat. Omfg!
Hoarding is one thing, being disgusting is another. You can collect a lot of items without collecting trash.
I agree. That class five seems more towards Diogenes Syndrome than hoarding, though they often acompany one another.
My mother and father collect/bought a lot of tools (for kitchen, cars, building, etc). The house was mess but it looks like antique stores rather than the house on the video.
It do have a little space to walk around because of how many boxes and shelves. But I'm kind of glad because we basically have every tools for everything incase something broken.
agree
hoarding & ''being disgusting'' kinda go hand & hand/I've never seen an organized, clean hoarder/hoarding is a mental disorder where a person has an obsession to keep things, no matter how useless it is to the point of becoming overwhelmed & losing control of the situation/which eventually becomes extremely unsanitary & unhealthy...
That is true.
I’m getting anxious just looking at all that junk
Me, too. No one should live that way. Those poor kids.
I was thinking the same thing.
I lived with a hoarder. After so many years of being yelled at because I kept throwing his stuff out...I'm a minimalist...I said it's me or your stuff.. Well he took his stuff and left. It is a sickness. You can't even walk in any of his rooms in his new house.
Good riddance...I could never deal w/ a hoarder
If he picked the "stuff", why are you going to his house ?
@@melviasheppard8466 That's a good question. I hope she answers.
You deserve to be treated like a queen !!!!! I hope that someone comes in your life that will love you more than anything on Earth !
Read about autism in adults
How do people live like this and keep custody of their children? Absolutely ridiculous to force your kids to live like this. This should be endangerment charges and neglect charges
Detta Mason - and how!!!
Completely agree. It’s horrible
It is child neglect and we do remove children from homes like this. The problem is that someone has to report the issue and if no one sees the home and the people living inside say nothing we can't do anything.
I think schools should do yearly home visits to check up on kids and get to know the parents abit better, so many kids suffer abuse and neglect like this that is hidden for years, all because teachers, neighbours, protective services dont have enough courage to report suspicions, dont want to be called nosy or intrusive, dont have enough evidence.
Taking the kids from the parents don't always work, sometimes they are abused while the state tries to protect them from the parents issues
EVERY meal is microwaved?! That is beyond torture.
This is how democrats live
boomer above me
That was 6 yr mes life
That's how I prepare my meals!
@@ballHand nope. It is the Dems that want to provide services to help but the repubs always cry socialism.
The people who place all the blame on the children in these comments are enablers of abuse, and have clearly never lived with someone this mentally DISABLED. these people are sick..... Children get blamed for the behavior of adults who are supposed to love and care for them and keep them safe. I was raised in this shit and I'm 30 years old now I haven't been in my parents home in years. YEARS my 5 year old has never been to grandma and grandpa's. A minor child is not and should never be held responsible for their adult parents neglect and abuse- as if they just didn't try to help hard enough, or somehow they piled all that trash up themselves. enough! Quit victim blaming.
Sarah Shook your comment literally brought tears to my eyes. My mother became severely depressed after my father abandoned us and the house basically fell apart throughout the course of my childhood and adolescence. She would never clean and we would have to eat out every single day. As soon as I could I went to school and got myself out at 22. Now I’m 25 and married and live two hours away. But the house has continued to get worse. My husband and I have gone with garbage bags and cleaned and it just never gets better
My mom literally never got herself together the bank is in the process of taking her home and foreclosing and I was trying to find her a small apartment near me once the sale was final and she recently passed away in the house. It’s saddening and I’m heartbroken and I know it isn’t my fault but I still feel guilty and ashamed as if I could have done more.
I haven’t seen not one comment blaming the kids. Mostly stigmatizing the parents and saying hoarding isn’t a mental illness but that’s about it
@@Genisse117 Just a thought that may help you release yourself from the guilt~~~If you had "done more", you might have destroyed your relationship with your mom. She may have felt bullied & like you were trying to control her & take away her freedom of choice. If you had "done more", you may have crossed her "protected barrier". Your LOVE kept you from doing that!
So true. My mother is an alcoholic and my family blamed me for not helping her enough. I literly did the whole household and strucktured her life. I even bought her food from my christman money. And as a thanks she beat me up.
I must have been such a horrible person for not curing her from her sickness. 😒
Woman:Aquarium back there can’t find it
Me:What about the fish!?
That's exactly what I thought too.
Lol right.
-Wolfie Alex- their long gone
Gone reduced to atoms
Animal abuse
My parents are in the middle. We have junk all over the house, some rooms/ areas are filled and cannot be used, but it's not as drastic as what the video shows. In our own bedroom, we have our parents dresser that's been blocking our window for over 10 years. It's starting to grow mold on the window, but "you know how much solid furniture costs?". I have bags of old school clothes I've outgrown but I can't donate them/toss them bc "we can sell them at a yard sale" (our area doesn't allow yard sales). Tubs of old Christmas decorations and baby clothes fills our closet to the point where it can't be used. We have a hallway connected to the kitchen to the back door. That hallway is filled with empty bottles that we can "sell". It's 2/3 to the top. We have to carefully walk around the kitchen to get out the back door. Our sofa has old boxes "when we move" overflowing. There's useless junky furniture all around us. There's boxes near the TV. My parent's bedroom is filled on each side that they have to crawl to get on the bed. Our cabinets are filled with old dishes from our old house in 01'. The second bathroom shower is filled with junk all the way to the top.
I've lost hope trying to help them. I can't even clean up my own room without getting yelled at. I've gotten slapped for throwing away old container tops (none of them fit our containers). I'm ready to move once I graduate. 8 more months to go!
D Kon did you finally moved out?
You are so brave for sharing and I too think that you are a great writer. I hope conditions are better for you now that some time has passed since your comment.
D Kon I, too was raised in a home of hoarders. Both my parents keep things that they no longer use or even find valuable. Both of them had parents that hoarded. My own home gets messy when I’m ill or depressed.
Have you considered taking your used clothing to a consignment shop? I was going to donate many of my old things, but my mother wanted to have a yard sale. I set aside several boxes for a sale that never happened.
My sister, understanding the struggle helps me yearly by asking the important questions that get me to let go. I have donated probably a bus load of clothing and household goods in the passed two years. I keep one box for additional donations in my home. As it gets filled, I take it to our local Salvation Army where I know it will help others. I hope things are going well for you. Get a Pinterest account and read up on decluttering tips. I find them very inspiring and it keeps me mindful of what I have and what I don’t need. Good luck!
It's Sept 2018. How are you doing, D Kon? And do u have a set plan for moving out?
Dude I just subbed to you so you can film your house and document it. 1 year follow up?
Every time I watch these videos I want to just throw everything in my house away
Absolutely. Makes me wonder about kids who go to school and smell
True
My nieces liked like this. They had to showet at their grandparents house, they also have PTSD from growing up with a hoarder
Makes mycry sometimes
😥
What??
It took most of my 50 yrs to understand why my mother is a hoarder. The pathology of a hoarder often starts with their desire to have things with which to create a lifestyle they desire, but without the understanding and diligence of what's required to live that life. Stuff does not make the desired lifestyle, it just makes a lifestyle filled with too much stuff. Our Activities of Daily Living add up tp the lifestyles we ultimately live
@Cj, Bless you for understanding the demons your mother has experienced! I am a bit of a Hoarder, mostly paper items is the biggest problem. I recently found a receipt for this laptop that my {now late} brother purchased in 2013!
But, perhaps the oldest item I have, is an empty pack of cigarettes that were at the scene of my late husband's suicide in 1996! One of the last things he touched in this world! I have no flattened dead animals, tho...but yes, I do have a small jar of my last cat's fur & her ashes in an urn sitting beside the one I will be in, eventually.
I do have 3 adult children who live far away & when they were younger, I was much more organized. Then, in 1989, I lost custody of them in a horrible divorce.
And that is really the major causal of most hoarders, major loss! I've had many of them o'er the years, both human & stuff. My late husband, for example, burned almost all of my clothing & photos & paperwork prior to his suicide!
Now, at the age of 57, I live/exist completely alone.
I'm 100% Disabled & the other night, I aspirated an aspirin tablet & had to do a self heimlich maneuver to dislodge it. I was more surprised than scared. My next thought was, 'How long will this dead carcass lay here before anyone notices?'
Peace all!
@@maggierezac5820 Forgive me but I just want to say to you,
I dont think there is anything wrong with keeping memories of your late husband and your cat, I do the same(keep things for memories) but I now realise that I cant keep everything, i have to keep the most important things and throw away the rest.
When you suffer the loss of someone or something you start feeling emotionally attatched to objects to fill the emptiness.
When ever i realise things are getting out of control I go around with a black sack and start throwing away things!
I moved alot in my childhood because I was in care so I have a strange relationship with 'objects' and also a lack of organisation so even some of the things I keep get damaged because there is no real. space for them to be stored away.
Alot of my treasured possessions and photos have been lost in time from unexpected moves and I think that is why I want to keep everything now that I have my own home, to preserve memories.
So i just wanted to tell you its not wrong to keep the stuff that are precious to you but you've got to let go of other things aswell so you can have space for yourself .x
@@Neesi392 Thank you so much for your kind & understanding words! My current situation is piles of unopened mail that I am 99% certain will end up in the recycle bin! I have also recently noticed a feeling of both suffocation & insulation with "The Piles" as I refer to them.
However, I have also recently renewed a friendship with a 'niece' {of choosing, not blood} & her amazing 10 year old daughter, {who I have literally known since her birth}. 😊
I also suffer from HORRIBLE agoraphobia & in the past several months, they have been doing my shopping of necessities for me & also spending more & more time with me! Talk about mixed emotions! I am so happy to have their company yet horrified by the state of affairs of my apartment & the lack of 'seating' space, if that makes sense.
When I even entertain the notion of someone coming in to assist in getting this place back to its former organized way, I panic! Cue the Control Fiend within! So, I guess that would be the other aspect of my own hoarding situation, Control. Of an admittedly imaginary level. Control. That mess opens the Pandora's Box of horrific child abuse, as I understand it all.
Sorry this got so long, & I do wish all the best & Happy Holidays to all! Peace! ✌☮😊💨
Cj I dont know If I can be classed as a hoarder, I know there are different degrees of hoarding but what you said definitely resonates with me.
All the "things" cluttering up my home are things I remember buying to 'improve' my life. Some examples, plastic boxes for storage, various cleaning products for different reasons, various array of items to make my house look nice, arts and crafts that never gets done.
They are all things i bought with good intentions but due to my bad depressive phases these things get left out everywhere, forgotten in cupboards or just damaged and thrown away. Its not the waste of money that upsets me, its that I dont get to keep all the things I bought and do what I intended to do with them.
Its very sick I know, Ive learned that I dont NEED half of these objects to get things done, I was missing out on time with loved ones and missing out on memories because I was obsessing over junk and how this junk was going to impress my life so much (it doesnt). I can clean the bathroom without the 5 cleaning products, I can do it with just 1. I dont need all these boxes to fill with junk, I should throw half these things away. This is the mind set Ive learned to adopt, its hard sometimes but Ill keep trying.
Its hard to explain so sorry for the ramble but I really relate to what you said, you have a really good understanding on these issues thank you .x
Please learn about autism in females and autism in adults. It will help. Researchers have been really REALLY stupid in not following through in the obvious overlap of traits of "hoarding" and autism (special interest, sensory issues/avoidance, object fixation, comorbid with mood disorders, poor personal hygiene, lack of theory of mind, and on and on)
my babies will never live like that
Good mother!
Then don't marry my brother!
Not a mother yet but someday.. and certainly they will have a clean home to be happy for :)
Good. I'm the much better choice. {:-D
tron3entertainment LOL I'll keep that in mind ;)
When the baby pulled out the trash, that image breaks my heart. I know my dad was a very light hoarder, and a big fear of mine is being depressed enough to get to that point.
these people are not fit to raise children..
JustCallMeMrWest ...I agree...its sick to live like this....
JustCallMeMrWest exactly these people don't deserve kids..
Noooo......Really?
Echo Tango I know a hoarder. She told me she knows she needs therapy and she has been offered free therapy and refuses it. I agree that it's a mental disorder. But it seems like greed, though I know it's not. Another thing...she is always late. When someone picks her up and beeps the horn after waiting for hours in the driveway, she gets angry that they beep the horn. Is that somehow a symptom?
Robin Gagan it’s a symptom of an asshole
Poor people in third world countries live in cleaner homes in slums.
Yup. Darn right. They don't even have indoor plumbing & electricity. So what's up with this mental illness called 'laziness'...I mean hoarding.?? 😂
Thats because they dont have money to afford all the crap people buy to trash their homes with.
@Chris P. You are right but sometimes even if they have garbage right next to their door they would have spotless home. House made of garbage but no garbage inside.
I agree.
Being poor is no excuse for being a pig, as some people would have you think. If a person is unable to clean their home, and live on a fixed income, , that's the only excuse there is.
Donna Karen very true
this is child abuse
IT IS.
Andrew Brunnette yes because fleas all over your room is so nice
Agree
And animal abuse!
it's child neglect
My abusive father was like this. He would keep all his beer bottles close near the sofa. I couldn’t throw anything away because I would see him digging through my trash and keeping the scrap papers I threw away. I confronted him about it but he just lashed out and hit me and it’s so bad because my mother tolerated this behavior and even did it herself so our house was becoming more like a dump site. I had to put my trash in my school bag so I could throw it in school in the morning.
Before college, I worked while studying just to move out of that nightmare. I’m an extremely clean person since I was a kid so imagine the relief when I got my own place. I bought so much perfume for myself and scents just to keep my apartment from that bad smell. I took hour long showers and had all my body hair removed by laser. I segregated my trash better and I just have to have a clean place. So glad I moved out because it helped with my studies. I was more focused and determined. Having this hoarder mentality sucks, they don’t even know how badly this impact their children.
Your father is a rat. I hate these hoarder parents who think they should procreate. I love childfree people they know who they are and take responsibility.
But society calls them selfish.
No a bitch with a mental illness that think he should have children is selfish.
It is not clutter. It is filth. Where the heck is CPS? How about caring family?
Amen !!!
I'd give myself up for adoption.
I'd just run away. Life on the street s would be like heaven compared to that
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@biggreenleaf7035 After life on the street you might become a hoarder.
@@JustMe-gh7ib you cant just throw their shit away smh how about seeking actual help? Tossing things only makes it worse, she has a disorder!!! Likely from being given up on & adopted to a family who has not one clue how to help her 💔
@@JustMe-gh7ib you never did LOVE HER😒
This is sick. That dead cat is very frustrating to see. They should have there children removed from that I can not continue to watch this.
you didnt listen to the part you did watch the boy was removed he lived with his older sister and mom continued to get worse this was him going back years after that that the clean up took place
Your rite I didn’t listen to the part when they said he was removed from the home. You didn’t read my comment. I said I can not continue to watch it after the dead cat part.
My heart goes out to this young man.... it must have been terrible for him getting teased at school, kids can be so cruel!
This reminds me of my uncle. His house was so disgusting, he had over 70 cats there were were piles of cat poop everywhere, it's was messy, it smelled horrible. My cousin Erin would get made fun of and had soap thrown at her every day in school because of the way she smelled. It was bad...
+Death Doom They could be making meth, sometimes meth manufacturing smells like cat urine... Just a heads up.
I hope those days were saved they don't deserve to live like that like call the police on him
Layloni Nunez She unfortunately passed away at age 12 back in 2007, and my uncle and her step mother were thrown in prison...
Corporate Commander lol, it's fine
jahmila santiago &
If this house ever caught on fire. There’s no way they’d escape. Also a hazard for the firefighters
my brother and I barely made it out of the house when it was on fire. the smoke chased us outside. firefighters didn't even TRY to go in bc we lived in the middle of nowhere so by the time they got there, the house was beyond saving. it still haunts me to this day how close my little brother and I came to losing our lives that day lmao
So the vermin would be destroyed along with their diseased ridden shit hole.. No great loss.. 😀😀😀😀😀💀💀💀🏃🏃🏃😁😁
@@gollycom What about the two girls?
@@tidepodpadthai2633 They live there do they not? They have working limbs do they not? They are all lazy filthy fat fucks who should be wiped of the face of the earth.. PERIOD! 🌎🌎🐎🐎🐙🐙🐙🐾🐾🐾😁😁
@@gollycom you are insane huh
Im the opposite i tend to throw things away in bags n my wife hates it. I cant stand so many things around me.
Enrique Aguilar this too is a mental disorder called Spartanisim. Why do you think the day after Christmas is the biggest return day of the year? It’s because people like you can stand to have something hanging out in their house that they don’t want. It causes them anxiety. This illness is not as visible as hoarding. As long as you are wearing clothes, no one usually suspects anything.
Kim Lassiter don’t be ridiculous
You are a minimalist ☺
@@kimlassiter8904 lol thats not why. Its because peoples aunt's & grandmas buy the wrong shit or wrong sizes.
be grateful there's nothing worse than having useless crap taking up space in your living area
“Aquarium back there, can’t find it.”
Those poor little fishies...
Suddenly my room looks clean...
Same🤗
Brookelyn Cowles right
Same I'm-
The dead cat traumatized me.
Amazing Prussia omg ikr same
@@Monica-sf5eq Yeah me too, I wish they would have warned us- very upsetting.
I actually yelled out! I really did not mean to do that because the rest of my family was sleeping at 1:30am
But you never know when a dead cat might come in handy!
The way it was shaped got me...and how flat it was.
Most people are extremely lucky to NOT understand this disorder. If you think it's laziness be glad you are too ignorant to comprehend the way a hoarder thinks! Ignorance is bliss is true in this case.
+Cheryl Dahl I learned all about this mental disorder and other ones in college when i took up Psychology..and watching the TV show breaks my heart because at one time the hoarders were actually people at one time who had a life and something as devastating as a loss of a loved one, having money problems, divorce, and many others..all mental disorders start and end with the brain..its just a matter of what can trigger a mental problem.
Just yet another "medical term" given to lazy pigs. :) I bet your house is a sty as well. A disorder? A disease? Well you can't quit cancer like you could quit hoarding. It's all bullshit. get off your fat LAZY fucking ass and clean your house. :) I have bad days too, but I don't pile shit around my house!
TheNellehFox Some people like 1972Gargoyle just don't get it..I watch hoarders and Hoarders: behind Closed Doors which is a british version of the US TV series and the stories i saw on both programs tore my heart out of my chest, some of these people want to change some take a little longer but with the proper aftercare help and therapy some have changed for the better and are maintaining the cleanliness in their homes/apartments.
Wiccan Priestess
First I ever saw of hoarding was a dear old woman who just wanted help getting her self back again. It's not fair to judge others for their problems, it's cruel. Some people just need help, and they won't feel brave enough to get it with the horrible attitude towards weakness some people have.
TheNellehFox I will never forget the first episode of hoarders i saw..this woman and her husband were just enjoying a quiet afternoon in their home and out of nowhere two masked thugs broke into their house and shot and killed her husband right in front of her..any episode of hoarders makes my tears come to full force.
My mother was the opposite, she raised us with her unbridled OCD (my brother was a sick kid when born). Everything had a place everything had a certain way how to be cleaned. Although it was difficult I knew my mom did it out of love.
Same here and now that I'm an adult I find myself having the same problem. However, it's better to be clean than sorry🤷🏽♀️
My aunt was too. She spent 4 hours every Saturday cleaning the tiles on the floor with a tooth brush. It gives me anxiety.
Tawny Still hoarding is also caused by ocd, your mother didnt do what she did out of love, she was suffering too. the key is finding balance. you need a little clutter.
Not only should they not have children but should also not have pets ! That is insane they need charges brought against them for neglect!
AGREE!!!!!!!
They are mentally ill. Its a terrible situation for everyone involved. Nobody is to be punished for this because they're already punishing themselves. Nobody would willing do this. Nobody would actually want to live that way. That's why it's an illness.
@@rennyh8627 , yes sir, they should be held accountable for this mental illness and live in the way that the children need! No excuse for this, mental illness or not! Mental illness is no excuse for any wrongs! They still know right from wrong, all of them even schizophrenia
@@yellowdayz1800 they're not to be punished they are to be treated. Thats what we do when people are sick. Treat it like you would with a physical illness. It can be fixed with medical attention. Mental illness is not an excuse but more of an explanation for abnormal behaviour.
@@rennyh8627 , no one is saying punish them....but they need to clean up their act or lose the children is how it should be.
No teacher ever suspected anything the whole time he was growing up? No neighbor? No relatives? No mailman? Is everyone blind? I wd have reported this neighbor in a heartbeat! Especially if I saw kids on the property!!
Sadly most people think it's not their place to say anything
How do they sleep at nite!
I bet we'd be surprised how many kids live like this and no one cares or says anything
@@electricpenguin32
Stunning how aloof people can be.
I honestly wouldn't report because it's none of my damn business. And face it, you guys would do the same.
A close friend of mine in middle school had a father that was a severe hoarder. I remember going to her house and how ashamed she was because of the severity of the filth. She didn't even want me to see the house, but eventually she relented when we got tired of staying at my house. There was nothing she could do.
I felt SO bad for her. There were rooms that had stuff piled so high that they were no longer accessible and stayed closed off because of it.
I remember us climbing through the laundry room trying to help her find clothes for school the next morning. She was also bullied because of the smell her clothes carried.
It was so hard on her and her sisters. We are grown now with families of our own. I do wonder how she turned out.
No child should have to suffer because of the poor choices their parents make.
He looks so much better after the clean up! He’s wearing a nice sweater vest, tie, his hair done and his face looks brighter. :)
I have OCD, this is like hell for me to even look at
+Volkenstorm Me too. I felt sick, I had to drink green tea after watching this as I had stomachache.
Didnt need ocd to see hell in living with two dead cats, decomposing right under your feet.
Me too!!!!
Hoarding can be associated with OCD as it is an irrational compulsive obsession...being organized doesn't mean you're OCD it means you're a neat person lol
I have germophobia god same
A reflection of your mind!
Mrs.GotDRAMAbringit definitely
Mrs.GotDRAMAbringit you said it!
,
Agree, perfectly said.. physical clutter is emotional clutter.
My mom was a hoarder and a very strict woman.I've lived all of my life with this problem. I grew up feeling ashamed and angry for having to live like this. My friends had clean and well kept houses. Mine was a small apartment and filled with rubbish of all kind. I'm still throwing out stuff my mom used to keep. She kept every single thing, even papers with scribbles on it, because "you did it so it's a memory". My relationships have suffered a lot from this, I could never invite anyone over and I'm still working on throwing stuff out,so I still can't invite anyone over and I'm 25. My mom being a hoarder destroyed her life and mine. And I totally agree , she preferred her stuff to me and that's exacty why I felt neglected and abandoned, reason why I focused on my studies, trying to avoid all of the problems i saw at home.
Our stories are very similar. My mom also hoards, and it's been very mentally exhausting to say the least. I'm not sure what to do in my current situation as it's not getting any better. I've tried for years with her and all our arguments about her hoarding ends with me in tears pleading for her to throw things away. I really hope you are now able to live the life that you want to live away from the years of abuse that hoarding brings to the hoarder and everyone associated with them.
I’m a child of a hoarder with a hoarder sister. It is so so so hard. I am learning to take pictures of objects and let the object go
@@naomikriss5208 Yes!! Taking pictures of things with my phone makes throwing them out so much easier! My mom recently agreed to allow me to clean a certain area, and I've been having more progress than I've seen in years. It's not a big area but I can finally see the floor so baby steps lol. I'm the one making most of the decisions about what to throw out/recycle/give away and I try to include her and ask her opinions on certain things that I'm not sure on. Hang in there I know first hand how difficult it is.
Jasmine Mohsin your story sounds very similar to mine my mom was super strict and would yell and get super defensive and offended and basically jump down your throat if you ever told her she needed to clean or get her life in order.
I’m 25 as well and what I tell myself is to be different and learn from her life mistakes and teach myself how to take care of my self and my home and my health and pray to god to help me find the strength to face the past and not run from it so I can heal
She recently passed and we never really resolved it. Her home was in foreclosure her life a hot mess. But I keep telling myself I can’t change or fix people and I have to show them love but show myself love as well and know I’m worthy to create a clean tidy and healthy life and home for myself.
I wish you love healing and peace Jasmine!
My parents and family members hoarded when I was a kid. I remember trying to clean stuff up and getting yelled at. I remember that when we went to the doctor's office I'd always love the magazines showing clean beautiful houses, and crying as we drove home. At my friend's house, which was nice and organized, I'd never want to go home. Eventually when I had to take care of my mother, I cleaned up as much as I could. We ended up leaving a lot of stuff behind because we were evicted and there was little time to move everything. That's mostly how we got our new house clean. She was ready at that point to throw a lot of stuff away but she physically could not do it, so when we moved, it was sad but it helped a lot with the clutter. We got counseling together to help many times. It was not easy. She lived the rest of her days in a clean house though. And she missed a lot of things but she got better with time. When I had to do the shopping for her I had control of what went into and out of the house. Anything broken we both agreed to throw away, I taught her how I organized the pantry and dish cabinets and rooms, etc. So she could find everything much easier and was able to live a life of independance to a degree while I lived with her. I have other family members with the same problem. I live by myself in a clean home but try to help them when I can. Their house is not nearly as bad as these homes, pretty clean compared to these really, but it has a lot of clutter than normal and it makes me itch. It may just be how I grew up. so it's hard for me to visit them at times. It's nice to see that I was never alone growing up. I had no idea so many kids had this problem too.
....and then discovered the father's skeleton under the heaps of garbage, whom they thought had ran away and left them years ago.....lol.
That actually happened. Look up Rita Wolfensohn.
🤣
She probably thought her husband was cheating on her, and he was stuck under a cascade of falling garbage, after slipping on a banana peel. Just kidding, but that is sad. You can't put your life or anyone in danger because of that.
Is-- is that a skeleton of Mittens! Noooo! Mittens, my kitty!!!
Edit: Oh fuck. I was JOKING! That actually happened TWICE to this household.
@@officersquarehead what
My mother is an entry level hoarder, enough to have her house seem odd, and way over cluttered, but not enough to be a huge problem,or unsafe, other than having to watch out for tripping on the excess amounts of baskets, and bins of stuff that are everywhere. However, to this day, (and I'm in my forties.) I'm STILL pissed, that the whole time I was growing up, she would always blame the house being messy on ME. And I think she believed it, which made it worse. Once I hit about 8, I turned into a super organized neat freak, you could have done surgery in my bedroom, so always hearing her whine about the house being a mess, due to me, was grossly unfair. Side note, when I left home, the house got worse than ever....of course. She has to know it isn't normal, tho she would never admit it, because she gets very agitated when ever anyone tries to visit. Angry, and feeling who ever it is, is trying to make her life hell, by expecting to be allowed inside. I'm an only child, and it's mentally draining.
Wow...I am amazed by the story you share. It really touched me.
Thank you, what really depresses me, is my poor father, he comes over to my house, and it's like a weight is off him, just being in a house that can breath, my mother isn't so bad she can't get rid of things, and doesn't save garbage, or anything disgusting like that, but sees nothing wrong with having stacks of plastic crates, stacked in every room, and storage shelves in front of OTHER shelves, several deep. It's just odd. Her problem is if she has an interest in anything, she will then buy everything she can get her hands on, relating to it. For instance, she collects old catalogs, which translates into doing things such as collecting EVERY sears catalog from the 20's to the 70's. And hundreds of others, also. Nothing is "trash" but there is just so much, of any type of thing. Then she will move on to a new obsession. She used to do cross stitch, when she gave me all her supplies, I ended up taking 40 bags to Goodwill, after I had sorted out what I would actually use. Which was still enough to last me for years.
You're not the only one I can't have friends over excuses excuses that made me tremble as a made them up and mine is like a level 1 but it still is embarrassing to me. People think these people are crazy but they don't know what is actually happening.
well bitchyPOO maybe you should clean your mom's house and stop being madly insane about it, people bitch but do NOTHING.. does not make the bitchers look any better than the hoarder in my opinion.
freedom of speech USA
My mom is very messy...I clean the room but she always blame me for all the mess she created 😐
My mom likes to hoard things too but thank God it's not trash but only the things she buys. Nothing can ever be thrown out coz she will somehow come up with a use for it.... We moved several times, every time, we would keep the old place for several years before my dad dumps the things there and either sell or rent the place out. The new place will be nice for a year or two and then things get out of hand again as new things accumulate. I don't have to endure the smell or bugs but I remember the fear of letting others visit our place. And since there are many things, I did not grow up in an organized environment where everything has its place.
As someone who grew up in a similar environment,
this mindset comes from a place of mental illness. The family members that caused our house to look like this were depressed and had other emotional issues. I honestly think now that I am an adult and look back on it, I think they were just so depressed that the felt like the didn't deserve better than to just live like that. As my siblings and I were left to be the cleaners, which was just unfair, so after an uphill battle, we gave up and just let it consume us.
Now I get such bad anxiety from a messy house. The trash starting to get full, a few dishes in the sink, some dust collecting somewhere, etc just starts to make me turn into a mess when I look at it. I'm not a neat freak by any means but it just gives me anxiety when people stop by or the idea of living like that again.
Same I'm a cleaning freak and proud of it. I hate anything that reminds me of this clutter hell I went through.
I was in such a similar place. As a teen I wanted to please my family and parents and get some kind of love. I used to spend hours getting a single room partially clean and they just threw garbage onto it anyway ruining anything I did ;( I just gave up one day and let it consume us. I'm glad I have my own job, soon my own place and own food especially because the food we have is maggoty and full of moths and has been for over a decade
My father is a hoarder. I know how isolating it is to live this life. To this day I still have nightmares about the gargantuan mess.
Good job, America. 10 million hoarders. I'm going to cry...
:(
+Hang on Me I love your avatar and name XD
About 1/30th of America's population (I'm pretty sure).
No it's 1/300 I believe
Get Plugged There are definitely not 3 billion people in America.
I'm floored at the comments here, like "just throw the stuff away" as if they hadn't thought of that. It's like telling a depressed person to snap out of it or telling an alcoholic to simply stop drinking. It doesn't work that way. And family members can't just throw stuff out. Believe it or not, that just causes more problems and the hoarder just collects more stuff. My mother is a hoarder (although luckily she doesn't hoard trash or old food - and the floors don't have junk on them). Every one of us kids is obsessively clean and can't stand clutter. But when we were kids, the clutter was normal, as was hiding our mother's hoarding problem from the world. Looking back though, I cannot believe we lived that way. And what this woman said towards the end -- "my stuff is more important than you." -- that's EXACTLY how we felt.
2dead cats. Burn it all down!!
That's awful. Children animals. Neglect!!!
In the name of Jesus I pray that this children get their happiness and freedom of life that the deserve. Amen
Amen sis
Amen ..
Amen
Amen
Amen
For all who dont understand why hoarders don't throw away "garbage", try do see it from their point of few. That garbage is NOT garbage. To them it is what a TV, a computer, a couch or a car is. You don't just throw it away. If it is broken and you think it can be repaired, would you throw it away?
When you were a child or a teen, would your mom have accepted it if you threw away a broken neckless of her? Or the coffeemachine? Im sure she wouldn't. So, hoarding parents dont allow it from their children either.
Dont blame the children, please, dont. They are hurt enough allready. Knowing that your parent lives in such condition must be heartbreaking. Instead spend time with those children, show them that they are important. Noone really chooses to live like this. Noone.
I wanted to commend Chall for sticking up for the children who had no choice in their condition. For those who try to logically categorize the "hoarders" and state how easy it would be to clean up if you watch when groups come in to assist and clean up the mess pay attention to the confrontation the hoarder puts up now imagine this every minute of every day but not directed at a perfect stranger but against their children. What child has the tools to combat their parent whom they love & respect. After being beaten down you must accept your reality or flee but statistically how many runaways are from filthy houses?
the kids could have got off their butts and cleaned, they were probably on video games day and night and very non motivated.. kids nowadays are quite lazy..
Chall I know a hoarder who admits she needs help. She has been offered help, therapy, but refuses it
jemmeh jake this comment is stupidity.
skeevy nicks that's not nice. The comment got 73 likes.
i have a friend/manager who was one of these kids. i always would joke about how i hoard stuff, so when i found out she actually had to be removed from her house, i felt horrible and apologized profusely for joking about something so serious. it's something you really only encounter on tv unless you live it, and it can be hard to believe some people are really like this. in fact, my mother is almost at the opposite extreme---she will be cleaning the counter WHILE IM STILL EATING. like ma, the Clorox is getting in my food! i dont live at home, but im grateful my ma and pa set an example of a clean home, cause now i keep my house tidy as well.
My mother was a hoarder. It was infuriating. The kitchen, the backyard, tc. Looked like junkyards. I remember throwing out 2 yr old packs of bologna and she freaked out and retrieved them from the trash
I was married to the son of a hoarder, he was a clean freak.
+Megan Hess
I can't say i blame him. I can just imagine the shame and stress the poor guy had to go through while living in a stench house.
+Libbi Charmaine - SonyaEnzo Well it wasn't the inside of the house, the holding was done on the outside. The whole yard was filled with trash and junk. At one time my father in law had around 70 children's bicycles, just an example. However the inside was very clean because my mother in law was not a hoarder. But in a way I think it may have been worse because everyone could see what was happening, there was no secrecy like there usually is. But I agree with you, I couldn't blame him either, I always just felt bad for how he was raised.
*was
Megan,
My mother was hoarder, she was not quite as bad as some, but enough of one that I could not invite people over and she was alcoholic. It was like living in a horror movie because you never knew what to expect. The woman was mentally ill. I remember cleaning by time I was 7 years old because I could not standing living in those conditions. Our home was a cock roach, and rat infested nightmare, and roaches which I am terrified of today would crawl on us when we were sleep. No matter how I cleaned my siblings and my mother would destroy my efforts. Lastly I am super clean neat freak and when I see shows like this my own experiences come back to hunt me. You cannot imagine the psychological damage the hoarding, her drinking, and emotional and physical abuse did to me. God is healing me, but I made a promise to myself I would never allow myself to live like this and I kept that promise. No kid should have to live like this.
My grandmother was a hoarder. She lost her family home which was basically a brothal or bar she lived above & losing everything made her never throw anything away. I remember cockroaches, disgusting living conditions and never a clean dish or area of the apartment she occupied. Now she's 92 & lives with me. Come to find out she actually likes things clean, she was just mentally harmed by losing it all to collect her own thoughts...that's my granny ❤️
That's the worst, but I think they should try to make a show about kids with OCD parents. My sister & I weren't allowed to touch anything in our house that didn't belong strictly to us. It was pure hell if we bumped into something & it would break. No food anywhere but the table. Everything had its place & my dad knew if something was touched or moved, he even knew if you watched tv or a VCR tape while he was gone. It was awful. You couldn't even mess up a rug & not fix it without severe punishment.
Haha See my parents are both you can't touche their mess they now where there things are at ,or hidden in their filth.
My parents were hoarders when I grew up and I was the opposite, but I knew not to terrorize my children with my cleanliness. What I did was if something was left behind, I would clean it and would never yell at the children. It is just as wrong to behave as though things are more important clean or dirty.
as the child of 2 hoarder parents, i can tell you now i have lost count of the amount of times we gutted that house, only for it to be trashed again in a matter of days. the constant accumulation of crap, and when you try any throw anything out, massive tantrums or a weeks worth of complaining following the cleaning for them to moan they cant find anything, i was glad to leave home at 21. i still cant take more than 20 mins in that house, my lungs hurt the smell an mould is that bad.
I recommend hiring help to clean it out when they eventually move into a nursing home etc.
I thought they were going to find a dead body. CPS should have been called on his mom. Why didn't the school report her.
smshortcake99 usually child protective services doesn’t do anything and then you have a parent who hates and resents you. They can convince the child you are out to get them and the child feels even more hopeless. Living dirty is often considered a lifestyle choice. It is only when it becomes really exceedingly dangerous that they will take any action.
smshortcake99 CPS did get called, when he was 13. 😐
I had a hoarder room mate who was neglecting her toddler (yes she was evicted) well cps was called she used the excuse of “moving out” and they let her go without question I haven’t seen her since but my guess is that poor kid is probably living with her psycho neglectful mother
smshortcake99 Especially when the other kids at school were making fun of him, for being smelly
Lmao how would they find a dead body in the house. Nobody goes in the house
After you finish watching this go give a kiss to your cat, hug him/her, pet him/her, just show some love please!
+Soralella71 They're dead.
This is totally unrelated , so fuck off
+TheGta5Gamer YOU STOLE JELLY'S ICON AVATAR!!
yeah,i fucking did he is a good youtuber
yeah, I agree, he's awesome! :3
This video helps you boost up your OCD 100%
Səbastian Sanchez that it does
lol
True
i did do my dishes...lol
Omg bringing back memories of my childhood .....I remember those days... being humiliated to have friends over....making excuses for ur parent's or parent....when I was real little we used to ask santa for a clean house no toys no nothing just for Mommy to not sleep all day and clean the house.....so sad I feel for all children of hoarders it's a cluttered hell of a life
Hoarding is neglect for certain. It isn't normal that is for sure. If you are a kid surviving this, know that you can get out and get to a different life! I promise it is possible because I survived it and you can too!
what if the love of your life is a hoarder too? like your mom to your dad or vice versa.
Thank you. There are people out there that do try to leave whenever they can. 2 more Years for me personally.
Juan Cena - why do u have to wait 2 more yrs?
@@stpierreforjesusthesavior984 I'm 16. Obviously lol
The parents act like they are proud of the way they live.
It's a matter of fact attitude, not a proud one. Having grown up in condition simular to those, I get it. Your ashamed beyond belief but it's nearly impossible to break the cycle. Your addiction makes you want more stuff, and your depression makes it impossible to clean. You grow attached to the stuff and feel out of place and scared in a clean room. They aren't proud of it, they have come to terms with it.
this is what my mom thinks my room looks like when theirs a couple clothe on the floor
my mom thinks that when there’s 1 sock on my floor
I grew up in a filthy hoarder home. My mom never ever cleaned, no one would ever come to visit us and my friends would never come by because how bad it was which I can’t blame them, my brother and I were the smelling kids in class. We had 36 cats, 6 dogs, rats invaded the house, roaches and fleas. It was so bad! Times I put shoes on and the cats would
Poop or pee in my shoes that I didn’t notice till I got to class and the school would complain to my mother and she would never see an issue in it. I forever had lice too! It was so horrible. Finally DCF got involved and took my brother and I and my grandma was the only one in the family to take us in and it was such a relief! We had a clean home, clean beds, clothes, towels, no roaches in our food, we weren’t the smelly kids anymore in class. I felt safe. My mother till this day is such a hoarder and even in her car it’s finality and smells so bad that the stench sticks to your clothes. My mother is also a heavy smoker so that smell and dirty house was horrible together. I thank God I never turned out like her now that I’m a mother. I’m such a clean freak and a germ freak because my grandmother taught me to be super clean and always taking care of yourself. I pray my mother seeks help because it’s so bad to still see her like that at 62 years old
It seems to me that there are two types of hoarders. One is people who are psychologically depressed, and consequently do not have the energy to keep their homes clean (or do anything else). The other type are people who have had an experience (e.g., death of a loved one, divorce) that made them feel powerless over their own lives, and filling their homes with stuff and having the ability to keep it gives them a feeling of control over their lives. I don’t understand this last part; it seems to me that they would get a feeling of control by removing the trash from their homes.
Another one is laziness.
+JonHensleyBehindTheGatesOfHell 666 No, if someone is just lazy then they are not a hoarder.
There are two types of hoarders: people who have mental issues and ones who are lazy.
I am lazy af but my house is always clean and (as) tidy (as it can be with two little boys). My mum was a hoarder. She was manic depressive/alcoholic/drug addict and got worse after inheriting her mother's big house when she died. She would run around for days organising her mess into different rooms and other days do nothing.
Sometimes people begin to board as a means of protecting themselves and feeling safer.
Damn these chicks house looking like an I spy book
Working w hoarders is tough. I wish that somehow the school social worker would pay a visit to these homes to make sure kids are okay. Unfortunately institutions only do just enough and nothing else.
So do u guys think i did the right thing? I called CPS last week. I’m a school photographer, I was at an Elementary school taking school pictures. I take about 150 pictures a day. One little girl stood out she was about 5 years old. I like to groom the students so that their hair and clothes look their best for their pic. So when I realized this little girls hair was in a very tangled messy pony tail I approached her. I noticed a very strong urine smell. I continued. As I’m undoing her ponytail I realize its very stiff and sticky and the smell was obviously coming from her hair. It was as if her hair hadn’t been washed or combed in months after getting drenched in urine. And it smelled like adult urine. As I’m doing my best to just tie it back in a side ponytail and combing atleats the outter layer because there was no way I would’ve been able to untangle her hair, She had a sad face so I ask her “are u ok?” She responded “yes 😔” I then realize shes wearing a boy snow glove and right away know she is hiding something. I asked her to take it off just for the picture and sure enough..her pinky nail is missing. I took the picture and she sat on the side to wait for her other class mates. The whole time shes just staring at me like if she wants to tell me something or if she just liked me because I was so caring with her. After the kids left I mentioned everything to her teacher. And carelessly she replies oh yeah thnks for brushing her hair her moms a mess and she always drags her in like that. I told her shouldn’t we report this? She just shrugged her shoulders and left. I wrote down the little girls name and called CPS when I got home. Idk whats going on in that household but there is no excuse for a child to be sent to school that way. I understand parents can’t buy the best clothes but common. I hope I saved this young girl and idk if there was something better I could’ve done 😟
PV you did the right thing < 3
You did the right thing. I hope that that little girl will end up in a good home. The foster care system is so flawed but I hope she gets a good home.
Thank you for helping the little girl......SHAME on the teacher / school for accepting this child's as being normal....the school should be punished for not reporting this abuse !!!
PV, I honestly would’ve done the same thing. That’s absolutely the saddest thing I’ve heard. Poor little girl. And shame on that teacher for not being more involved and doing more for that child! It infuriates me when people who should be there to look out for the innocent children don’t do more.
Well done that was brave. You followed your gut.
I nearly shed a tear.
Dear God all those poor innocents. Its everywhere.
Bless you. X