respecting pronouns/ preferred name.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- hey!
The importance of respecting an individuals pronouns and name!
This is the second video in a series of information videos for family and friends of trans people. Just some insight and information on different topics related to being trans.
Video 1: basic information for family and friends:
• trans info for family ...
If you have any requests and would like me to make a video in order to help you better understand something, please let me know!
![Trans 101: Ep 5 - Pronouns [CC]](/img/n.gif)
"yo daddy, I have a beard..."
I freaking lost it xD
Can you please do one of these explaining how we don't always know since birth and that there isn't always signs of it in childhood. I think back and I see signs of it in my childhood but my Grandma refuses to accept my transition based on the fact that I never mentioned it as a child and that there wasn't any signs (though, as stated I think there was). It's really frustrating and she won't listen. I've sent her your two videos.
My mom pressured me into coming out as trans, she did the same thing with me being genderfluid (what I sorta tossed before coming the conclusion of trans) and gay (Before i even knew gender identity was a thing). And now she refuses to use my preferred name and pronouns, she wont let me get a binder, and she doesn't want me to go to therapy. She was to force me into staying my gender and I can't stand it the dysphoria is _killing me_
+supersonicrocks100 Wait til you're 18, get a job then a car and move the fuck out. If you are 18 and haven't done these things you have bigger problems, kiddo.
+That Won Guy You can't say that. I'm adult and afraid of my parents because they punch me a lot. You can't just move out sometimes.
I feel that pain in always misgendered bc i cant afford transitioning
my parents demanded me to give up good hairdressers and more expensive clothes and to do all the housejobs in exchange for my pronouns, and then they didn't use them, so i backed off. when i tell my mom she's not trying she says she does though i don't hear it at all, and my dad calls me by the "funniest" male name he could think of and with a gruff tone that indicates sarcasm. i think they're never going to switch. i don't even know what to do. they said when i look like a man they're going to call me a man so i'll probably need to go through years of transition being called a girl name.
One of my friends is really great with my name and pronouns. He has literally never messed up.
Funny how you make this video today because for the first time in four years, finally my dad said 'he' when referring to me. Pretty much the happiest moment for me in a very long time c:
I'm buying something for my daughter
Yo daddy, I have a beard 😂
I just recently came out to my family and friends. All of my friends are really good with with it. My family is struggling a little but trying. Even my all my friends families are doing really well. My two year old nephew is actually the best at it. :) At first he called me my birth name and my preferred name. Now it's like he's forgot my birth name altogether. Besides my aunt who really I don't think understands what exactly I'm going through. I sent her this video and hopefully it helps. She accepts me, but has completely just told me she won't even try to call me by the correct pronouns or name.
At first I thought these kinds of videos were weird...Funny how I caught myself using it to confront people in my life this week that refuse to respect my name and pronouns. I had a coworker that saw it on my wall and she approached me after to clear up that she didn't ever look at it that way. I love how even though it wasn't meant towards her... she was able to watch it and educate herself too. Thank you so much chase :) Thank you for making this video and helping educate those around us.
aw this video made me tear up for real. Thank you for writing this to me, honestly, I make these videos for you guys and to hear that it actually helped at least one person makes me feel amazing and I get a sort of high from it!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THESE VIDEOS FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY
You said my name as example, yayy xD
I really wish your videos could open some people's eyes. No matter how tough I am, humans need other humans, and when it's about family, we can't just leave them all behind (as I think I will do once I get money to live as myself)... If I heard my sister calling me Jeremy one day, I would just literally cry of happiness, I love my sister a lot, not because she is my sister, but because of the awesome person that she is (even though, she doesn't accept me yet and still think is just a phase).
Chase, you are an awesome person for doing all the good thinks that you do.
PS: Could you talk about using guys cloth and binders? you know... I can't wear guys cloth, nor a binder... and that is what kills me the most D=
I shared your video with my friends and family even tho I am mtf your videos still apply the other way round and it seems to be helping, I am allways respectful when I ask people to use my preferred name or my correct pronouns, My teacher refuses to this day to use my proper name and pronouns even after I filed a complaint but anyways thanks for the amazing video!
I asked my brother to watch this with me because my friends call me Robin but I've been having trouble with my family accepting me. Anyway, he is calling me Robin now! And he told my mom to call me my name too! So it is progress. Thank you for this video and for this channel. Lots of your videos have brought me comfort and helped me in some way so thank you.
I came out to a few friends as non-binary at the end of February 2014, my teachers a month later or so, and them more friends and classmates as time went on. I still had friends at school who didn't get that I wasn't a cisgender girl until late 2015. I've had to come out so many times, especially sine my identity has changed. I'm still non binary, but I also consider myself ftm since I'm a demiboy. It was like my friends they weren't in QSA looked at each other and said "Okay, this is legit and our friend is even going by a different name. We need to finally use they/them and he/him pronouns and call them Tristan" after a blog post from our district's superintendent came out about me in early May of this year. Sure, they slip up at times, but they are still trying. I even let them call me "Sharon" since it's an inside joke and wasn't even my name.
On the other hand I didn't come out at home until March of this year, and my parents still use my birth name and she/her pronouns. For two and a half years I have felt ill while they do it, and now they know and are actually refusing to respect my gender. They have actually said that I'll always be their "daughter" and "little girl." It's disgusting and makes me feel like I am like the gum on the bottom of a table or chair. It sucks and I wish they would realize that I need to be validated.
Do you find it invalidating when your parent refers you with the wrong pronoun or name. I feel that my parent doesn't see me as my true self because they continue to call me the wrong name and pronoun. It really bothers me. I know my mom is trying. I never say anything to her because I know she is trying.
I feel like it's tougher for dads, for some reason. Well, from my experience and what I heard.
hey do you think you could explain the importance of respecting our image like how important clothes and stuff are to get right
I will love that video, that will be very helpful.
This was great! It's awesome that you're making this mini-series of educational videos aimed at the friends and family of trans people. I'm about to let all my relatives know I'm transitioning shortly, and these may serve as some good additional resources for me to show them. I've actually kind of wanted to show my parents and relatives some FTMTranstastic videos for a while because I think you're all such cool people who also have great experience and information to share, but there's quite a bit of swearing in many of them, which doesn't bother me, but I don't think my family would respond so great to that. So I'm really glad you're making these! Even though I'm going to be sending a lot of written information about what it means to be trans, etc. to the people I'm coming out to, I just feel like it would be really helpful for many of them to see videos like this featuring actual trans people such as yourself explaining things...there's just something about the simple act of being able to see it visually that seems to help people understand a bit better, and also understand that we're regular people who can still be successful and normal-looking and all that.
Anyways, keep up the good work! Vous êtes merveilleux!
Thank you for doing these videos, Chase. I wish these videos had been available when I first came out last year, as it would have been a bit easier on my parents.
Though it's a little strange for me that you upload this video about the same time I have a discussion with my coworkers about my preferred name, lol.
Hi Chase, could you make a video explaining all the aspects of dysphoria(types of dysphoria, how to help it, etc.) for family and friends? Hopefully you see this.
Question for any one who wants to answer about dead name and pronouns.
If someone is biographer, journalist and they are covering the life of trans person. Or sadly an obituary or better a life achievement announcement.
The writer wants to address their previously known as life before transition. The writer wants to acknowledge the details of actions, marriage, children, degrees, awards, law suits, etc
Would one use their dead name and those assigned pronouns?
Once they come out preferred names and pronouns would be used
The writer should use the preferred name/pronouns. It may be appropriate to mention the deadname in a few specific moments where it is necessary context, but avoid it when possible.
Hey Chase (or anyone who knows), sorry if this has been addressed and I missed it, but will you be putting this series for friends and family into a playlist? That way it's like an easy link of videos that is updated and people can be sent?
Someone very close to me has been coming out as trans. At this point, the only thing I've been able to embrace is that I love and support that person. The emotions are running high at this point about the difficulty of adjustment (although I am willing to in time) because I have memories of that person that I cherish. Where does one find balance with this?...
I had a friend who was pre t at the time, we hungout with his friends that didn't respect his pronouns they probably wouldn't respect his name but luckily he had a nickname...anyway after spending a few hours hearing she she she and me saying he he he, I accidentally called him she and I stopped myself at shh, it was an unconscious choice because it was all I was hearing and it just slipped up, and me being trans too I felt soooo bad. But it just got in my head, unfortunately. That's why you must always ask someone for their preferred pronouns.
I prefer the term meta human instead of that vulgur term "super mutant"
Me: I just chose my name today😆it’s Oliver!
My brain: what about your middle name it’s still a girl name
Me: er...I...
My brain: And your friends and family will never call you your preferred name. Even though your out.
Me: 🙂😐😕🙁☹️😢😭
Thanks for this video. I came out to my familly few weeks ago (maybe more than one month I don't know) and I asked them to call me Zack and "he". My mom answered that I'm not a man because I don't take T yet so nobody will call me like I want because "they can't'" and she wants me to respect that if I respect her ! I don't know how to explain to her, because she doesn't want watch any videos or read some informations on it. I have my boyfriend who support me (and his little brother) but nobody in my familly support me and they thread me. Because my little sister have a rare dicease and she can die in 2 or 3 years, so they say that if she dies it will be because of me, because of me she has extra feelings and it make her more sick. So I don't know how to be myself. I just stopped to answer to them for few days because I need to be alone without my familly who treat me like that.
question: how do you ask someone their preferred pronouns when you're not actually sure whether they're cis-gender or transgender? is it safe to maybe use gender neutral pronouns, do you think? i need help because I run into this problem lately.
I know you probably don't need an answer now but it's always ok to ask. I'm sure they'd prefer you to ask rather than misgender them. :)
not too video related but... I'm genderfluid (nonbinary/male) and my pronouns are they/them but here in germany 'they' is the same word as 'she', so should I ask people to call me by male pronouns? I just feel so uncomfortable with female pronouns idk..
+MaRiJoana Productions You can try to ask them to call you by male pronouns. Just to see if you prefer that way
Thank you so so much for making such a formal informative video meant for friends n families. It will help so much for trans ppl like me.
Awesome, informative vid as always. When I get around to coming out I will def use your vids. Thank you :)
One minor thing to point out... in the beginning, the caption says "respecing" instead of "respecting." Not a big deal, just thought I'd let you know.
Keep the videos coming, Chase :)
thank you
Chase you are amazing! Thank you for this video. I've been slowly working through telling my family. This makes it ten times easier. Bless!
This video is amazing, Chase. I'm trying to get my mother to respect my name and pronouns; I might have her watch this. Thank you
It's a two letter word, but it's the basis of your identity. It's the same concept as cis people being called the wrong pronouns; they hate it, and they have reason to; trans people do too.
Thank you so much for making this!
Thank you i fully understand and mines easy jess her/she to jesse he him/his/sir nobody respects it but now i understand youre right its probably just hard to say for those people :)
Wow, somehow I was thinking of the name, Alice, right before you said it.
I have a female body, and tbh I don't think I'll transition, but my preferred pronouns are he, his, and him. But I can't tell people that, my family is close minded. What should I do?
+Taylor Cheyenne I know this was posted 5 months ago and may not be relevant but in this position I would go to a gender therapist or ask your family to see one and say that you're questioning yourself, I hope this helps 😁
No, thank you Chase, I love your videos.
Good news is, tumblr cancer has a very low chance of metastasis, or as it is also known, having children.
Can you do a Q&A with your dad?
I identify as an attack helicopter.You may call me Apache.
My parents are saying they accept me and stuff but really i dont see it.
I told them i understand and its fine if they'll need some time to adjust the pronouns/name ... came out a year ago and now i'm already on T for over a month...they never once used "he" or my choosen name. Oh well. Probably gotta grow a beard too xD
icesplitter99 I am about the same place you are... it takes a LONG time. Your parents are gonna be stuck on what you grew up as, as well as they probably have a more black and white view of pronouns, as well as gender and biological sex being separate parts of one's identity. It's rough tho, I feel you... :C
+icesplitter99 It's been 6 months now kiddo, any progress?
Please keep in mind that English is not the only language that exists and certainly not the only one trans people speak and are spoken to/about in.
Either mention this is only for English-speakers or expand it from pronouns to gendered forms of speech in general.
Sikander the video title is literally in english dude
Irrelevant. The video is Anglocentric, which is typical among English-speaking people, including (if not especially) English-speaking Western trans rights activists.