Parents Who Had Their Autistic Son Arrested
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ต.ค. 2024
- Murray and Janine Alexanders' autistic son Steven had never been a violent boy growing up. A gentle boy who grew up with autism. However, 18 months ago a change in his school and his medication triggered a journey into hell for the entire family. He left their house with the police, in handcuffs. Now they're ready for him to come home.
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My family were in this exact position with my brother. He’s autistic and non verbal. He was very violent and would break things constantly. We tried everything we could until eventually he had to go to a home under the care of MENCAP. He’s doing exceedingly well there because they know how to manage his needs properly.
This is the other side of autism that gets so rarely talked about because people are too caught up in a romanticised version of what autism is. This is a very real situation a lot of families are having to deal with and my heart goes out to every single one of them
Jesus is the way the truth and the life. No one can go to the Father except through him.❤️
Knowing Jesus is knowing peace, protection and provision ❤️
Jesus saves, Jesus heals, Jesus grants peace and Jesus loves you.
Yes Jesus does. Of course! But why did you say this while this person gave there story?
@@pontiacman78Because some christians feel good about themselves when they talk about their religion to others in need of help, it's much easier to send a generic “Jesus loves you” message that's so vague it could apply to a million situations than offering actual help, or support, or to even show some understanding for their situation. Also probably because the original commenter has “lovecraft” in their ussername and goth makeup, and the person you are responding to probably associated that with witchcraft, wich goes against christianism, in wich case the Jesus comment is actually an attempt to make them change into christianism as a way to help their situation (wich is kinda yucky if you ask me, to assume someone is struggling in life because of their lack of faith when you don't really know anything about them, and to use that reasoning as bait so they join your religion...)
It’s not rarely talked about, lmao
@@linvi_chemutai what does Jesus have to do with this?
You had to get yourselves help. You had to get your adult son help. The problem was too much. You did the right thing. You've been wonderful parents.
The place that he's at now is amazing and gives him boundaries. His carer is a big dude so can restrain him easily whilst it was harder for elder parents .especially his mum . It was a beautiful scene watching mum reading to him .she's so patient. Made me so tearful when he threw a fit screaming at her .
He wasn't screaming AT her.
Resteraunt can physically and mentally hurt mentally ill & disabled people (I know that autism is not a mental illness) it’s very harmful and should not be allowed for people with severe issues
Autistics should not be restrained at all, and if his caregiver is restraining him then that’s probably what’s contributing to a lot of his aggression in the first place.
@@vickythefist7062 the family are so fortunate to have found the caregivers and place
@@jamesheady7216you are not an expert and have never been assaulted by a strong heavy 6ft autistic male.
this is misleading, he wasnt arrested, he was involuntarily committed and sometimes the persons cuffed by the police for that to happen unfortunately (it shouldnt be that way but it is for now)
Sadly sometimes the police have to become involved to work alongside the paramedics if the person being involuntarily taken to a mental health facility is a threat to themselves or others.
Also, in regards to the mental health facility stating that they could not guarantee Steven's safety- having worked in several mental health inpatient wards, I imagine that considering Steven's episodes of shouting and hitting the staff cannot predict the reaction of other patients to Steven's behaviour, or how he might be triggered by the behaviour of other patients himself.
Unusually involuntary commitment where a police man puts hand cuffa on you meets a classic definition of being arrested
How do you know
My daughter is diagnosed with P.A.N.D.A.S
Paediatric Autoimmune Neropsychiatric disorder associated with strep… This is identical behaviour
This was the first thing I thought of when they mentioned the total behavioural and psychological changes after being ill. Especially since he met all of his milestones up until that point.
That's what I thought immediately!
Yes not many people know about PANDAS
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s as an adult. I remember about 3-4 years old, I got bad tonsillitis. I used to eat vegetables, eggs, but I became very picky with food. Then when I had my tonsils out, I stopped talking for a few weeks. I developed sensitivity to itchy clothes and smells. I got obsessed with astronomy, which resulted in bullying in school. So it's interesting, I know about PANDAS so wonder if a bacterial infection might be a cause. Also, around the same time I got hay-fever, so there's probably an autoimmune component. There is a genetic influence too. My nephew is autistic and my cousins on both sides of my family have children on the autism spectrum, about 3 or 4 children (10% are on the spectrum)
Also, the same or similar bacteria also causes scarlet fever, which can result in a neurological condition called Sydenham's corea, OCD and movement disorder. The American artist, Andy Warhol, had scarlet fever and Sydenham corea as a child, his repetitive art might be related.
I am dx'd autistic but i am never violent. I had german measles as a baby and i have a genetic disorder called DEE that caused my autism. Its fascinating how these things seems to overlap some
This video is like 9-10 years old. I wonder how the family is doing now.
Oh makes sense why there seemed to be less information abt autism during the report and why his diagnosis was so late
It’s heartbreaking that there often times aren’t a lot of resources for people like Steven’s parents when their kids start to outgrow them and are capable of hurting them. A teacher in the US was just beaten within inches of her life, because a woman refused to put her autistic son who had violent meltdowns in a special school. She’s claiming she did everything right and it was the school who effed up. There’s multiple instances of him being violent with other teachers, students, and his mother. Mom says he doesn’t know what he was doing, but when they dragged him off his teacher he tried to get back to her and said he was going to “unalive her” all because she told him it was time to stop playing a game in his iPad and start doing the work on his iPad. Just because someone might be stunted and be have the mental capability of a young kid doesn’t mean they aren’t dangerous…
It also doesn’t mean they don’t need discipline. I see so many children with disabilities that are just allowed to do whatever they want and it’s shocking to me!!
This is so true. There was a kid in my 5th grade class who was like this and the staff would try to give him time to interact with us to help him build social skills. He was a few years older than us because he was held back a few grades to help him socially. One time they let him in the classroom with us and there was a teacher with him the whole time. The kid came up to me and pulled out his pen*s and started humping me. I had already gone through SA growing up and when this happened to me in front of my whole class it retraumatized me so much. Thankfully the teacher immediately pulled the kid off me and the teachers tried to pull me aside to see if I was ok. But all I remember is feeling so ashamed and embarrassed and disturbed. I refused to talk to anyone and just put up a wall and flat out ignored what happened. The kid continued to masterb*te each time he saw me in the hallway or class. They had to keep him separated from me and the other students and eventually sent him to another school soon after. Kids like this can't be in the general public. It's just not safe for anyone.
It wasn't an IPad, it was a Nintendo switch. Mom is claiming people are racist against her son because he's black. You can see on the surveillance video how much bigger he in than the teacher. You also see a student walking past and not stopping to help
An autistic person saying they will kill someone definitely knows what they mean, though some who are not and strong could accidentally kill an elderly parent specially during a violent outburtst without meaning to.
Having a disability is not an excuse to get away with murder (in this case almost literally) if they know the rules & what they’re expected to do, even within the limits of their disability then they KNOW when they've done wrong. I had to look after a 4 year old at a daycare I worked at who was autistic and if you had to remove him from a dangerous situation such as grabbing a fire extinguisher or trying to open doors to outside (which he was a notorious flight risk for) he did everything from pulling hair to scratching, hitting & BITING & was he ever disciplined when he did these things? Nope - he just threw a tantrum & was comforted after with a hug 🤦♀ I may have been forced to abide by my workplace's rules but I would not raise ANY kid of mine so slackly. I also didn't just take his abuse (cos that's what it WAS, age be damned!) I stopped him if he dared try any of that on me & even if another carer hugged him afterwards when he threw a tantrum, I never did (unless he hurt himself while playing).
And I say all this as someone on the spectrum myself - because my mum (who has flaws like all parents) even after I was diagnosed, ALWAYS made sure I knew the boundaries she set & I knew them by the time I was the same age as the autistic daycare kid I looked after. Of course every autistic kid is different but many are still capable of learning & discipline & even for those who have trouble in this regard like Steven, should still have precautions set in place for their carers to ensure BOTH parties safety.
This is one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. I'll be praying for his family.
All heart goes out to his family especially his mom and carers i hope his days become more calm and happy.
I don’t think the average person realizes the “spectrum” that families experience. They see an actor playing an Asperger person, or a high functioning Down’s syndrome actor, and think they understand. I had a work experience on a locked medical/mental ward specifically for extremely violent(murder/arson/etc) young teens/adults with developmental disabilities and TBI. It was full with a huge waiting list. The home based violent developmentally disabled locations are really a mixed bag in US. There is such a ludicrous attempt to have the ‘normal’ facade, that a TV will be replaced every week vs putting it behind a barrier, the walls end up looking like the first home, and neighbors have to put up with the screaming. Residents and staff aren’t safe, but looks like your average suburban home…Then they wonder why there’s a worker shortage! The way we take care of ALL vulnerable people needs to be re-examined. Take a deep breath. Stop trying to make everyone fit into one little mold, but BALANCE what works to keep everyone safe and healthy. They released the mentally ill to die on the streets, and it’s estimated 30% -40% of homeless have a cognitive impairment. I have a friend who’s siblings are separated by only a very few IQ points. This resulted in one living in a 4 bedroom house with 4 roommates, 24 hour staff, meals, medical care and programmed entertainment throughout the day. The other was ‘allowed’ to be homeless and no one has heard from them in a few years now…
I agree. I wish they could have reformed and improved the mental hospitals instead of closing them down and releasing people to the streets or putting them in group homes where the violent ones beat the day lights out of the staff, roommates and neighbors and constantly breaking things. I saw and experienced it countless times in the 1990s through 2018 when I stopped working in that job.
There was a fare share of the profoundly mentally disabled ones, who were on the sex offender list against children, due to a lack of proper training, teaching, and supervision. Dont get me wrong, Im not saying that all profoundly mentally disabled people are sex offenders, Im just saying that some were, but most of them were NOT.
Thankfully, most of them were like everyone else and just wanted to be happy, but sadly, many lacked the skills to deal with their emotions and life, which is where the training and experiencing life helps.
The main question is how could it possibly work? How can you make it so the violent ones can be safe and cared for without the staff being assaulted? How do we make it so they can better control themselves?
I saw one documentary were the mum sadly is at the end of her rope as her son has meltdowns and is violent, she use to hold him down because he would punch himself but he is too strong for that and will head butt her or bite her face. She now sticks boxing gloves on him to stop him beating himself because he would do it until he was bleeding. How can men like him be helped and taught not to injure themselves.
Medication is a mixed bag some do help but some others do nothing or make the situation worse.
Was PANDAS ever considered? He changed after a infection.. could it have been strep?
My thought as well. I’m a psychologist and his behavior seems more than autism. Looks like PANDAS to me.
What an interesting idea! Another person commented about this. Sounds promising.
Where are you getting your information on PANDAS? I've not seen an awful lot of reliable sources for it being a genuine phenomenon. It could just be that it needs more studying, but it's likely PANDAS wasn't considered as it's not a proper diagnosis at this point in time
Maybe he got brain injury from the infection which led to the severe autism, poor parents and their son, they all must be really suffering.
I know once they said after w virus! I was like omg they missed it
I know this first hand. My conclusions after 30 years is, child is born, diagnosed with autism and because parents are shocked and upset , they will do anything to keep their child happy. They child is small and the parent is still able to manage any upsets. The child becomes a teen:young adult. They often have a late onset of puberty. They srart getting aggressive , they are bigger and stronger and it’s harder to manage. You suddenly have a huge angry adult toddler. They’ve often never had much expected of them. Everybody runs around trying to keep them happy so they are a huge , incompetent angry adult toddler. I would tell any parent of a young child with autism to have expectations, get them doing as much as the other children in the family, don’t pander to bad behaviours, don’t let screens and tv take over and try to allow your young adult to grow up . Finding the right residential setting for the young person when they are young . Don’t keep them at home being a mini tyrant as you parents are getting older and less able to cope. You do them a great disservice if you play into their obsessions and behaviours and have no expectations. Loving somebody is not about keeping them happy all the time. Like the mother packing the suitcase, carrying the suitcase and putting it in the car. The son should be doing that himself. And people with autism can do things. I’ve experienced it.
As someone who grew up with an autistic sibling that to this day isn't told "No" because it'll make him violent and upset, everything you're saying is true.
I come from a family with three autistic siblings. This hit home.
And I’m not just having a go at parents. I know it’s hard . There is so much guilt and worry that parents just try to manage but the child gets more and more difficult. We had people who went to school in a place where they learned skills as a young person and they worked in the garden, or learned a craft, found a niche in life at a young g age, farming or gardening etc… as adults they lived productive lives and had friends All be it slightly different. Theb I met people who lived at home until they were 30/40 and they suffered so much when their parents got too old to support them any more . They find it hard to adjust and they are distracted . I’d want the former for my child if they had autism. Also siblings suffer too. We did some family support groups and they were very important to the families. Stuff came up from way back. We don’t need to feel sorry for people with disabilities, we need to give them the skills to manage their lives .
i am NOT a "person with autism". I am AUTISTIC. and its beautiful. but that said the rest of your comment is absolutey true. that can be the case... i wasnt diagnosed until i sought out a diagnosis at 20 years old. i am glad, so glad i was diagnosed later in life. i have an extensive vocabulary because my mom read to me every night. i am in university because as a kid i had the option to do the schoolwork or pick potato bugs in the garden. my brothers are neurotypical and we were all raised the same. to understand respect, and work ethic and to do our best but never let anyone tell us we werent good enough. to be solution focused and use our imaginations to find solutions. to be resourceful and know that no one was gpoing to save us from the consequences of our actions so we have better be very very very careful in life. dont take stupid risks. when i was 4 i remember throwing a fit in the store. my mom didnt buy me what i wanted nor did she get angry. she simply walked to the cash and said "okay! im leaving! see you later!, i guess your staying here for the night!" i remember running after her "mommy! mommy!" her response was, "well you better keep up or youll get left behind.. im going home so if your coming with me, get in the car." i thank her for all her love and support and im extremely close with her . im looking after her in her older years just as i saw her look after my grandparents. i learned alot through her modelling what to do and what not to do, and imitating her. so no, your little theory isnt always what happens but it can be when parents dont want to parent anymore. instead they want to cater because they are so scared of being called abusive if they discipline their kids. its ridiculous. child services needs to cast a much narrower net AND there needs to be consequences for making false reports. simple as that.
You cannot force an autistic person to be normal and the part about obsessions is just nit picking. Liking something a lot hurts nobody. You will be fine, old man.
Thank you for sharing your story. You are an incredibly brave family. I taught special education and one of my students would have violent outbursts towards himself and staff. It was so difficult to get management to provide appropriate resources. I'm hope that by brave people like yourselves sharing their stories that appropriate resources and funding become available. I was absolutely traumatised by my experience and I am no longer able to teach which is a terrible waste. People who haven't experienced just have no idea.
Oh, I understand and work with special Ed students. I've witnessed students destroy the classroom, turn over tables and throw chairs. Also, I was almost physically attacked by a student and had to run and call for help. I'm at a point where I don't want to work in this capacity due to safety concerns of not only myself but other students, who may be attacked by violent students. There's not much that can be done to stop it because some of the students have extreme behavioral issues. Positive and negative reinforcements only work for a limited time and the behaviors manifest. Also, suspension doesn't always work. When students return after suspension, the violent behaviors start shortly afterwards. It's not safe for educators, especially when there aren't resource officers to restrain violent students. At my school, resource officers aren't allowed due to the traumatizing effects that it has on students. Teachers are given training on how to restrain violent students. However, restraints can be a challenge for female staff when trying to restrain male teenagers and adolescents, who are much stronger than they are.
@dontbelongherefromanother resource officer is just a nicer word for security gaurd that can restrain someone . Sadly, many of these schools/resource officers have abused their power and done horrible things
@dontbelongherefromanother I was the special Ed kid that would always have a pokemon book with me and and just tell everyone what pokemon they are and just never stop talking. I only had a small class we didn't have anything crazy happen so I am shocked and surprised reading it.
@@vickythefist7062 I get that, but teachers shouldn't be placed in a position to restrain violent students. This is a safety concern, and teachers aren't paid to take on an additional role as a security guard or police.
I was a special education teacher for 34 years but couldn't take it any more. I retired and now volunteer in a kindergarten class every day. So fun and rewarding!
I have suffered with physical disability and after 20 years of continuous pain, serious mental health issues. I've considered suicide a lot but the moment I would lose control and attack my loved ones will be the last day on earth.
is this supposed to be an attack on a severely mentally disabled and incapacitated individual who has no concept of this?
I've felt this way too-I am chronically ill and often feel like caring for me causes pain to those around me. But I've also been on the other side-I'd guess losing you entirely would hurt them so deeply, perhaps even more than the pain of being hurt any other way. I'm so glad you're still here 💖
This isnt about you dork
I feel so bad for him and the entire family.May God give Him the strength to overcome all his challenges
Seems God gave him tardpower
Post viral illness sounds more like PANDAS than autism no?
I had the same thought- the symptoms can be very similar
@@wuddafxupppsounds like your braindead to me
@@wuddafxupppwhat?
It’s great u found help for him wish they had like that for my brother here a home of his own with carers of his own would never happen in Canada unless your minted
For sure
My best friend’s family has a son with severe autism. While he can occasionally throw a fit and maybe hit a little, he has never consistently been violent, and DEFINITELY not this violent. He has never made a hole in the wall or gotten violent to the point of concern. That just goes to show that low functioning autism like this does not equate to violence. That poor family, I bet they felt like they would get judged for this because some people don’t understand that this is not normal behavior for autistic kids
Remember autism is a spectrum and it can vary in individuals. So while some autistic people may not be violent others are. I am high functioning and I had violent outbursts as a child towards other kids that bullied me. I did not know how else to express myself. I did learn to stop that behaviour after therapy and found how to communicate better and understand myself.
THIS!! thats right it is not normal behaviour for autistic people and as an autistic person i can say it definitely shouldnt be made out to be tht way. this is just sad and gross in so many ways. there is something else going on here. neurodiversity does not cause this.
Not that they told you about anyways
@@littleautibatsfantasybooks7593but it does. Low self control
@@ZiggyonMarsDid your bullies learn some adequate social behaviour, too?
mental health in most countries is a joke when it comes to autism in older teens and adults
Totally agree
A 3 or 4 year old still knows not to be naughty and violent . This poor family especially mum who was having a mastectomy. They look so exhausted and sad. life just isn't fare to some people
Did you miss the part where he is autistic?
I wonder what he’s thinking when he gets so agitated? He must be so afraid.☹️♥️
IDK BUT EDIBLES Would PROBABLY HELP CALM HIM.
Very true not a lot of people know about PANDAS
Exactly, yours is the most reasonable comment. I’ve read on this comment section so far.
And what sucks about any government is people ask for help but dont get it but if they get arrested or on drugs or etc etc they get all the help and its not fair how that goes
We need to bring back asylums for these people.
To me when he had an outburst it sounded like he was asking how why when but he can't make out his thoughts for others to hear him
That’s exactly right. I am autistic but high functioning. When I was a child I had outbursts, some violent but mostly to other children that bullied me. I couldn’t understand how else to communicate my feelings and it was very frustrating. As I got older I learned that outbursts like that are not acceptable so I took it out on myself. Not a great time at all. But I had therapy soon after for six years and it helped immensely. I learned to understand myself and communicate better and I’m much happier:)
The lack of options and tools these people received or knew about in terms of helping autistic individuals thrive, grow, and communicate was disturbing, I just hope he's committed to a competent medical institute that can actually recognize what he needs.
I see these autistic kids growing up and are big strong men. Sometimes they need more care then just a mother or father, they need to start creating places for the adult autistic people where they can live and be safe with all around care and safety.
I feel so bad for this family. As much love as they have for Steven they are aging and there will come a time when they would not be able to control him. I hope the whole family finds peace and know they did the right thing
One of the saddest & yet, most uplifting videos ever ❤❤❤ xxx
the frustration of having little ability to communicate and being unable to express your emotions and anger in a non violent way is just mindboggling
That poor family- that dog was traumatised 😞😞😞😞
I thought the same about the dog. His mum had to take care of herself when she had cancer. I had same as her so i know what she went through. The stress of her son may have brought on the cancer.
That dumb dog doesn’t care
@@Yvonne-fj7el stress does not cause cancer.
@@JillianHadley yes it can lol, it can also greatly exacerbate it
"Lol" @@feeltheillinois
They mention that at 2 years old he 'got a virus' as though that changed his brain to become autistic rather than him being naturally orientated that way. This was quite vague and needs more explanation. Could there be a virus that attacks the brain in such a way that damages the brain's ability to cope with stress - for example the presence of tumours in the brain manifests symptoms of anger and emotional distress.
Having my own mental issues I’d never be able to handle a child with autism.
Same. So glad I didn't reproduce.
Well never have children then. Even if your child comes out without any disabilities then you still can’t have a kid since you revealed you have mental issues. Tho I hope you do heal ❤
@@kymiz_ I mean..people with mental issues can have kids and be wonderful parents..but indeed for some it’s just too overwhelming with everything else goin on. Thanks for the kind words.
@@brt5273 same here.
Yes, it can break almost anyone. The world doesn’t need more humans anyhow.
What the heck!!!??? He has PANDAS! He needs the antibiotics! Absolutely typical PANDAS
This reminds me of my schizophrenic brother. When he was locked up he used to call us all the time. Now he's free but he's off in his own world. He's not even on social media anymore.
Social media is a cesspool for narcissists
My heart goes out to this family. The sad truth is that severe autism or any other severe mental disability doesn't give a person the right to be violent and this is the correct response to that kind of behavior.
There's nothing much that can be done to stop it
@@dontbelongherefromanother well, there actually is, but no one wants to hear the actual solution to the sheer amount of parents who are dealing with this and who are doomed to be parenting til the day they die.
It’s not an excuse people with higher support needs disability or mental illness can’t always help their actions! He obviously is not cognitively all there and can’t help it because he’s mentally a child
@@Andrea-zm1nlwhat's the soultuon no one wants to hear
I'm a 50-year-old high-functioning, high-IQ (134) woman with Autism Spectrum Disorder. My meltdowns are uncontrollable. Until January 2024 when I was finally placed on a good medication, my meltdowns were also very aggressive. I am fortunate enough to have a family who took the time to be educated about autism. Meltdowns are not controllable, and anyone who says otherwise is misguided.
I work in this field of caretaking and it’s really rewarding. I hope others consider it. ❤
The fact that he has a 3:1 supervision ratio is wild. It's hard enough to provide 1:1 supervision nowadays (in the usa). Lack of funding. Terrible wages and retention rates.
What a heartbreaking decision this family had to make ❤ you can tell they are still heartbroken about it. You had to make the best decision for both your son and your family
This is the side of autism we rarely get to see. Yes it’s very rare, but it’s a serious problem with the lack of funding or even concern from governments both in Aus and NZ. The funding cuts to the NDIS are disgraceful. Much love to these amazing parents who’ve had to make the hardest decision to protect their safety and mental health. I can’t imagine the burden these circumstances would feel like at times. But still they don’t complain are patient and loving towards their children, amazing video origin❤️ P.s that kiwi caretaker of Elliot seems like the sweetest soul🥺(no surprises tho kiwis are generally super compassionate and lovely!).
Not autism, just a raging moid that should been in jail
it’s not rare at all, they just don’t show this to the public because they don’t want people to realize how serious it is and how much more serious it’s going to get when these kids are becoming middle-aged adults and the parents are passing away…. and there’s nowhere for them to go. What’s going to happen to them?? They don’t want us thinking about that. It’s all going to blow up soon.
My child has severe non verbal autism and he's always been happy never once been violent he's 19 he loves life
The Hospital should have given him sedatives. I dont understand why they didn't treat them the first time.
My heart goes out to them. It’s heartbreaking 💔
He totally became another personality after the virus.
Did the virus cause damage in areas of his brain ?
What sort of virus 😐?
Some attack the brain .
Autism spectrum is often something we are born with and live with for life.
Brain damage can happen from all forms of trauma to the brain, viruses included.
I am sure the virus was the trigger for his mental health problems.
Frustrating for families
Wishing you all possible peace.
Tons of parents of children with autism say their child became ill and everything changed after that.
Omg 😧 I’m so sorry to this family. Everyone is so tired and broken
My brother in law is like this. But his parents refuse to put him in a group home. My father in law kicked me out because his ex wife forced my brother in law off on him because he got kicked out of his last place for trying to kill his roommate. He's lived with his dad for 9 years now and destroyed the house i helped fix up while his dad was gone for weeks as a truck driver. Then when he had retire due to a back injury my brother in law tried to kill him. My husband had to move in to pay the bills and protect his dad because his other brother didn't feel like putting up with all of it. So im living with my family because there's no room for me there and im in constant danger whenever im there for more than an hour. I've seriously considered divorce but we cant afford it. Originally me and my husband were living with his dad because we couldn't afford a place of our own and the deal was that i would cook and clean while he was away and my husband would work to pay the bills and fix anything that needed fixing. His dad would send money to help pay the bills and any repairs my husband couldn't do. 9 years after my brother in law moved in and i moved out the house is barely recognizable. It's full of filth and animals. My father in law lives in his room while my brother in law has the rest of the house. My husband lives in a barely functioning camper in the backyard and only comes in the house to take his dad to the doctor or take a shower. He's constantly working and hardly ever home. Any time my husband has tried to stand up to his brother he has been arrested because the neighbors or his mother calls the police on my husband for 'hurting her baby'. My brother in law never sits in jail for more than a night and gets special treatment because he's got an illness. The police know he's dangerous but blame my husband and just tell his dad to make sure he takes his medication. He never does. All he does is drink and get high with the few friends he has. He steals any money my husband sets aside to get our own place nearby so we can check on dad. Even if we did get a place we know the brother would force his way in and we can't do anything about it.
I struggle with autism as well. Im in the higher functioning category though. We all just want our kids to be happy. I deal with stemming and I hate to be touched by anyone except my girlfriend. As I've been getting older my stress levels and sensitivity have increased. Noises, touch, visual it has all gotten worse. I don't consider myself non verbal but for the first 5 years of my life I barely talked had a good therapist that helped me use my words instead of screaming.
In this case you guys did the right thing. It's hard to raise an autistic adult. Trust me it's hard for me to deal with my own problems.
You sent him away because you love him and he's needs more help than you can provide. I hope he's doing well now. I hope you guys get to visit.
If you are able to type this on TH-cam you are not autistic. People stop. Us parents are struggling, TRULY STRUGGLING and crying all the time wondering what will happen to our kids if we die suddenly and our kids can’t get REAL BIOMEDICAL HELP because people like you go around saying you’re autistic because you have psychosocial issues that can be addressed through therapy. OUR KIDS CAN’T LIVE ON THEIR OWN WITH THERAPY, EVER. Stop this now. You aren’t helping.
@@techiebliss I don't give a crap what you think I was diagnosed with autism. You are the problem assuming that autistic people can't function or even write a comment on TH-cam. Autism is a spectrum. Why would I pretend to be autistic? It is fucking debilitating. It's hard for me to be in places with a lot of people. Sounds make my skin crawl. I can't even hug my own parents without feeling weird. I do it but I don't like it. Don't fucking assume something just because you are ignorant to autism and it's spectrum.
Utterly heartbreaking 💔
Utterly beautiful.
My heart goes out to your family
Absolutely phenomenal video. I felt so many emotions ❤
I’m so sorry for all of the pain and worry that you have all been through and continue to live with every day.God bless you all.
I hope and pray he finds a happy balance, with the help of medication and therapy, to be able to control himself, and be a part of the family. And Thank God for his carers! Those guys need to be compensated heavily for all they do...because there's NO way someone takes on that career simply for the money...there must be a great heart involved! 💜💜💜
What loving parents. I am so sorry you've had to go through this ❤
I have a 23yr old son just like him, I too was recently diagnosed with breast cancer so I know all too well how stressful it is to juggle treatment while looking after my son, most days I’m grateful my cancer was detected early but there are days that I wish it was terminal. I’m on my own, my husband left 8yrs ago because he wanted a life, NDIS isn’t much help because they are not set up for young adults who are hard to manage, I just take each day at a time, two years ago I started painting as a way of managing my stress and depression , Brian enjoys watching Big Bang and other programs and is very good at doing the recycling, he likes to go shopping and waves at everyone. there are good days and bad. He doesn’t like other disable people or dogs after being bitten by a strangers dog, this makes it had to go places like parks or Bunnings as he goes into extreme panic. I do feel my mental health sliding, and there is simply no care for the carers, I think if it wasn’t for painting I’d probably end it all…. But tomorrow’s another day isn’t it? and if I’m not around to look after my son then who will?
Why haven't they mended the walls after over a year later??
Cost?,
It costs a lot of money. Trust me, I’ve been there with a brother with similar issues, it took a while for us to get the funds to fix walls and doors (this was roughly 10 years ago now)
How do you know they didn't fix it? Do you know when the videos was made and when the documentary was made?
So they can play the pity card. "Oh, poor us, we never disciplined our boy and he destroyed our home!"
Because the government care home could dump him back on them at any moment, and then those several thousand dollar repairs would be down the drain.
Omg this is terrifying
YOU ARE GOOD PARENTS!!! sometimes you have to make tough calls to protect yourselves.
No. Good parents would have gotten him help right away, instead of waiting.
@wmdkitty Right away? so when he was diagnosed at 2 they would have sent him away for help. Obviously you're not a parent, and thank God for that!!! You'd probably ship your kids off without a second thought.
@@megsmith6953Not at 2 yrs age, but later. They didn't.
i myself are on the autistic spectrum and had the same issue in getting myself some help when I needed it with mental health services saying that they didn't deal with people who had autism (I was feeling suicidal at the time and they wouldn't even allow me to go to a mental health support group due to having autism.. so I faced discrimination over that). I'm in Sth Australia (and our states autism service when I was seeking help just offered me their library to seek help from).
Much respect to you and your family.
I have worked, here in Denmark🇩🇰 with kids, who live in institutions, because their autisme is so sever. No eye contact, little to no relation, no laughing, no love just hard work. 3 times when I was pregnant, I only praid to not have a child, suffering from autisme. Anything else, blind, missing a limp or needing a wheelchair. I often work with parents too and in their eyes is sadness😢 One mother told me, that she lost her other teenager, killed in a carcrash. It had been a horribel time, but "Having Marcus, every day feels like a carcrash" She could not cope with him any longer; 16 years, tall and strong. It was dangerous for her, he was beating her😢
Thats really sad i feel sorry for all of them
Autism is not a mental health disorder unfortunately here in the UK the mental health team’s cannot admit people with this disorder, not enough support out there
I'm HFA, and I've never been particularly violent, BUT I was strongly disciplined as a child growing up as well... unfortunately, that is considered child abuse nowadays... So frustrating these families have these issues.
This is very sad. As Parents, you did what was possible. I hope you can have peace.
My heartbreaks for his parents.
You are doing great, the best any loving parents could do. 🙏🩷 to your whole family.
My 19 year old niece was diagnosed with Autism @ age 2. She could talk full sentences and was so talkative before that. She's not violent but she does things like smear her feces over the wall if she's unsupervised. I'm scared about what will happen to her when my brother-in-law dies because her half siblings will not care for her. I'm unable to due to health reasons, or I would in a heartbeat, She'll probably end up in a state run facility unfortunately. 😢
I'm very confused he got sick and developed autism ? It genuinely sounds like this boy more than likely had minor brain damage from Lyme disease rather than autism .
"Lyme" doesn't cause brain damage.
@@wmdkittyit can. Neuropsychological dysfunctions are known
How sad. So scary to see him as a responsive and smiling toddler.
Iv got hdhd autism and dislxear. I no his pain. And im sorry the yeras have not bin good for you lot.😢
What a loving Family You are.
God Bless You all.
They did a wonderful thing for their son, he deserves to be happy and have a bit of a sense of independence. Living at home he was loved but he wasn’t getting what an adult autistic person needs. I’m speaking from experience here, you can love your child but it’s hard to treat them more as an adult when they are special needs. They deserve to live away from mommy and daddy, they deserve friends and outings without being parented like an infant.
Sometimes it isn't easy doing what's best for child.
I have a son with same issue is 44 years old he lives with me and my husband is hir father I protect him to much now he has so bad behavior I no longer cant afford him to live with me because every single day is a problem with him the father don’t believe is has problems he don’t handle a job this Monday he has a bad behavior I can’t take anymore I kick him out 😢😢😢😢
Aww bless that family the thing is it's hard .. but you have to do the right thing even thou its the hardest decision .. I have 3 with autism and you do your best what you can two off my boys are server.. has parent to parent you did your best don't feel guilty he's in the best place that can critia for his needs ❤️
this is random and not as serious but i have that exact dollhouse in the VHS tapes in the beginning, im autistic and ive had it since my childhood, i have a hard time gettin’ rid of my childhood stuff.
on a more serious note, if my Lola didn’t put me in institutions and hospitals when i was younger, i dont know if i’d still be here. i thank her for saving my life and all the doctors who helped me
The picture of him with the baby made my blood run cold.
why?
His parents were right there . I'm sure they know whether he's moidy or not . Maybe he is gentle and likes holding his little sister??
@@taliajolly8929 Maybe because he has sudden violent outbursts.
Okay, albeist.
At the end of the day , he’s a risk period. As someone who also has neru issues. If your a risk ur risk. The parents seem like there in alot of denial.
As a parent of an autistic child I would never call the cops and risk my child getting shot. On the flip side I have to use force to control my son. I have to really put my hands on him. It breaks my heart but I have to protect him and myself/wife
There are certain medical conditions that need the constant supervision of medical professionals and this seems to be one of them.
When we can see the sickness, it's so much easier to hand it off to professionals than it is when we can't see it. So to his parents - don't feel guilty! He is sick and he needs help and that is hard but it's going to be okay.
Blessings... i wish our mental health system worked...
Sounds just like PANDAS
Our walls have holes too from our son 😞😢 please… stop calling social awkwardness “autism”. Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder and our children need serious biomedical care, not just ABA and speech therapy. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH…. SAVE THE KIDS!!! 💔
Please leave the music out of the video we do not need it it is a distraction.😮
Change the title please thos family had no other choice for their own safety as well as his own. They had no other option.
The title gets more people to click on the video and hear this family out, imo
@@Lauren-bd2fr well making them more violent and unwanted?
They had a lifetime of other options, they CHOSE to keep and coddle this manbaby and made him unfit for society. Had they properly parented him, they'd not need to be putting him in care.
@@AnalGravey Not what I was saying at all. I didnt say I agreed with it, I was just explaining why I thought they did it
@@wmdkitty how can u say that...he's autistic ...wtf is wrong with u
Match that energy. Sometimes people need a mirror, being calm probably infuriates him more.
A New Zealand Blenheim local lady ended up drugging then smothering her 19yr old severely autistic daughter few yrs back it was because she had been pushed to her ultimate limit she was in prison just 9mths of 2yr sentence which was amazing and definitely she shouldn't even have done that time. She was not given the help during the years she was even on a documentary asking for help still they and US in her community failed her. So I feel for you and your family.
It's taken 3 big guys to 'bring him back to his old self.' It seems that the management of behavioural problems has alot to do with the balance of power and as children get bigger and stronger, with the balance of physical power. So sorry you have had to go through this, heartbreaking for you.
Strong incredible parents who love their children and did not give up on their son. I’m also glad they took the dog’s feelings into account. Animals feel when something is wrong and they too can become traumatized. This was such an inspiring story and I hope the best for this amazing family.
Silas voice was so calming
I don’t think he has ASD. Sounds like an auto immune or neurological.
Asd is a neurological condition
@@erinsmith5837 yep. I realised after I wrote it hahaha. I meant like other than asd haha like an infection or the brain or something. I know tumours can cause this kinda stuff too.
I’m pretty sure the people who know him are a better judge of that than you, having only watched a 20 minute clip.
@@roobearlillibee5301 I also have a son on the spectrum. Autism doesn’t just appear after a bacterial infection. He would have been born with it, which he clearly wasn’t.
I agree.. and then with being overly medicated too. Poor boy :(
PANDAS not autism
Has there been research into what causes such aggression in some autistic people? I have two autistic kids, neither has ever been aggressive (and they are 17 and 22 now, long past puberty which is when it seems most likely to start). This seems more common than kids with severe aggression is, but I do have friends whose kids are very aggressive, and I’m positive parenting isn’t the cause of it.
Just thinking if we figured out the why, we might be able to figure out better treatment options.
I was very aggressive during my childhood. Part of it stems from teachers and other authority figures not knowing how to handle autistic girls, part of it because I've got a MENSA-level IQ I put to the worst possible uses (think Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes). I was placed in an abusive middle school and became almost feral in my behavior until they sent me to a school with an autism program. Things went much better for me there.
What made me start to mellow out around college was that my father died of cancer, and I realized that since I had no friends my age, he'd been like a best friend to me. The only way to cope with the pain and loneliness was to reach out to my classmates and make friends with some of them.
My middle has autism and I thank my lucky stars he is functioning and he’s smart and kind , my neighbours son is absolutely out of control he beats her he punches holes in tha wall . The cops are constantly being called on him and he’s only 9
I'm very sorry your family has to suffer. I know these medications are supposed to help but I wonder.? Benzodiazepines (I heard you say you gave him lorazapam before they picked him up, then he nutted out.)can cause a person to get agitated as hell out even though they are meant to calm you down. They did it to me after long term use. The Doctors will say no they don't but I would just have a think about how effective they are with your son. Sounds like they having the opposite effect which can happen after long term use. He's probably addicted also on top of the autism. Please give puppy a lot of hugs . ❤❤❤
My daughter changed after puberty she still is a loveable young lady loves interacting with others always giving hugs and kisses we knew at 6 mo old she had autism and as she gets ilder she gets more irritable if something dont go how she wants it to or if we cant understand what she says she gets irritated. This year she started mouthing off calling us swear words mainly to her step dad.she had a blow up 2 weeks ago and she started calling me names and swearing at us. That happens on occasion but she is generally happy and loving.
Obviously I don’t know for sure but my hypothesis…
He was upset that you had breast cancer. He was angry that his mom was sick and he knew he couldn’t do anything to help you. He was in pain and trying to convey to you both just how bad it was inside of him. You are right he loves you and it’s clear you love him.
That lady on tiktok with her ginormous son Cash could learn a thing or 2 from this
For real that lady is gonna end up unalived if she doesn’t do something about him.
You should read the book on PANDAs and other psychiatric disorders that have a possible pathological cause
Did you
Know when he was younger there was an option to stunt his growth so it would make it so much easier when the kids grow big. Just curious.
My cousin same age as me autistic large kid his name Steven also actually they were so scared they finally had to put him in a home because his autism they had to lock the fridge and they had to put him in a home it was safest for everyone . 6*2 over 200 lbs it was hard for them but his autism made him scary he had to go in a home once he was 20 I UNDERSTAND ❤
Thank you💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Some of his behaviour is like Tourettes Syndrome...which they believe could have a bacterial cause.
My heart breaks for the whole family....for ALL the families dealing with this!
I pray for some brilliant scientist, to come up with a cure...like yesterday!
Amazing parents. I have 2. I hope I can do as well.
Braking up the house ,bully people got to go!