@@MikeKnell2884 All she can do is continue to show him her time of weakness that lead to her betrayal is in the past. It happened. It sounds like this is a few years back. She broke his heart, she can’t do much to fix it except be a better wife and partner and mother. But fixing his broken heart he has to do.
@@MikeKnell2884 because no one can fix you. Only YOU can fix you. If he doesn't fix himself, no one will be able too. Is the same reason why its no ones fault when someone kills themselves.
@@saotomebusterit’s absolutely his fault his kid is being raised in this toxic and hellish environment. He had two choices: get over it or get divorced. Having kids means you make decisions you don’t like for their benefit, and no kid is going to benefit from being raised with this horror normalized for them. If he had divorced her then, which with hindsight it is clear he should have done since he can’t get over it, her guilt would have gotten him decent terms and they may have been able to form a decent co parenting relationship. Now if they get divorced, she’s going to pay him back for years of loveless torture. He’s a coward.
She somehow convinced your husband was cheating on you but then goes on to say her husband called her every night because he couldn’t fall asleep with her talking. 😂 it’s funny when people want to do something they will use any excuse
I've had a LDR end because my ex let her college friends convince her I was cheating on her. I was working my butt off so I could have enough money to move over to where she lived without burdening her or her family. We also talked every day, not once had I refused to pick up a call or even refuse to call her myself. Idk man some people just love to meddle in affairs they have nothing to do with.
People do getting manipulated into cheating and convincing them their partner is bad for them in one way or another is generally how it happens. Ultimately though you should know better. I mean, if I worked with some woman that flirted with me a lot and said bad things about my wife it'd be pretty easy to figure out what was going on there. It's not rocket science.
@@OdeezyBaby18 a lot of these internet stories and reddit stories are like 98% fake. So never take it more seriously than grain of salt as its just.... a story.... from random strangers...
This is what being broken in the inside looks like. Some people who get cheated on get angry or sad because they've been deeply hurt. Others, like this man, get so broken they just don't feel anything anymore. The worst state of depression, where you become apathetic to life itself.
That could even degrade in a complete loss of thrust or attraction toward her or any other potential partners, lead to self deprecation, self loathing, deep questionment about ourselves or even a loss of self care or medical care, even to the point of a denial of self-preservation And i know a bit about that From my point of view, she's putting a tantrum and he's thinking about his daugther first and foremost She failed to be a wife, he don't want to fail being a father I sense resolution in this man, once their child old enough, she will never see her ex-husband again and it's possible he'll never see another woman too
Imagine trusting someone for 9 years and they slap you in the face with the ultimate betrayal, then they have the nerve to complain that you don’t trust them anymore 😂
One of my best friends had this happen to him after 15 years of marriage, though thankfully he only had 4 years to wait for their daughter to move out, he than divorced his wife and moved on
Why is it so hard for people to understand that cutting your affair partner out of your life is no reassurance at all? Its like telling somebody you stabbed that they can feel safe now that you have thrown away the knife. They didn't feel unsafe because of the knife. They did so because of YOU. That guy of the story is either only still in there for their child or he has no idea what you could do to fix it himself, so he just waits for a miracle to happen. Truth of the matter is, if you betrayed someone like this, the only thing that could ever really make them stop doubting you is amnesia.
@@abletosip Time does nothing. People don't need time to heal, people TAKE TIME to heal, it's different. They aren't doing anything to help him heal, OP didnt mention therapy or couples counseling, dude is doing nothing to improve his situation and is probably only there for the child. You can't do nothing and expect things to change.
This is why I see little point in trying to continue the relationship after cheating. The relationship will never be the same because the betrayal will always be there. He should leave, but it appears he doesn't want to break up the household for the sake of his daughter. He needs to understand that seeing a dysfunctional relationship is not healthy at all for her. OP will cheat again this time with "justifiable" reasons due to her feeling unwanted.
The paternity test was just to see if he was going to leave or stay. He’s there for the kid not you, he’s sacrificing his happiness for the kid not to grow up in a broken home, he is protecting the kid by being a good parent seeing you make bad decisions and life choices, potentially picking a bad father role model if he was not there. Congrats
@@glumphyStonedif done right, they won't KNOW that. Which is the point mate. They can worry about those things when they're older. Which they should. Because a kid should be allowed to worry about and do kid shxt.
@@iamfearnaught you cant fake real love man, in fact the chances are if you keep together forcing the relationship just because of the kids, you are eventually foster resentment and even hatred under the act, and those things inevitably come up, the children are not retarded they will feel it and it will be hugely toxic.
@@glumphyStoned again, if done right, they won't know that. I've seen countless cases of people saying they never knew about the issues with their parents until they hit a certain age. I get what you're saying but to a properly managed method that simply does not apply. I'm not saying the ones in the story will do it right but I'm saying that it is definitely possible to do. Children are not retarded but at the same time, they're pretty fvckin dumb. But hey, that's JuSt a tHeOrY
I can think of many men I know personally who have done the same thing. Almost every single one of my male coworkers at my current job cheats on their gf/wife. Many of my male friends too. And also my dad. There really is a point where cheating becomes almost commonplace unfortunately. I’m happy to say I’ve never cheated on anyone but I don’t think it’s fair to say one group cheats more/worse than the other.
@christiansanders1 never said one group cheats more than the other. Just that when confronted as to why they do,women make it seem like they have no agency.
@@christiansanders1when a man cheats and says the woman was a POS. She usually is. When a woman says the man was a POS. She can only recall a few instances but blows them out of proportion and acts like the man is a vile human. Sincerely someone who wasted 7 years just to be cheated on and called the bad guy AFTER it all happened. Women need no real reason to cheat. If a man cheats hes either a player in the first place or the woman is a bitch. Youll never see a man cheat cause he got bored.
Well the reason why somebody cheats does make a difference. Its not all black and white. If i heard a story for example, where somebody cheated because they were drunk, lonely, angry and feeling betrayed by their spouse vs. Somebody cheating cuz they only ever got married for money and dont care abt the spouse. Those 2 situations change alot about how i view the person's character.
She shouldn't expect the trust and love again because like he said, what's stopping her from doing it again, is always going to be a factor If she wants to take "full responsiblity" she should understand that from the beginning
@@austinpowers1061 There is zero excuse for cheating, none. Don't like a relationship leave it and you can't blame alcohol for something they probably already wanted to do.
@@austinpowers1061yeah I agree. Not many adults in the room it seems. I don’t blame the husband at all for acting and feeling how he does.. but I also don’t think the wife is an irredeemable monster either. She fucked up and feels genuine remorse for her actions. That doesn’t mean she should just accept any treatment she gets as a consequence. Ultimately this is something they have to work out between each other.
@@austinpowers1061 alcohol is not an excuse. I’ve been drunk plenty of times without my spouse and have never cheated. 🤷♂️ And not from a lack of opportunity… but an unwillingness to break the trust we have between us. Because once that’s gone, it is never coming back.
He is not divorcing because he will be screwed for child support because the wife resigned from her job. What a nice move from the wife! What a schemer.
he needs to scheme back. wait for the kid to be 18 then take all the money and restart new in a smaller country with a new name , its not hard to find shit like that. And watch her become homeless
@@voidroadOr, don't wait years to perform a petty scheme where he moves away from his daughter, and instead do something normal and rational like marriage counseling or divorce.
There is no reason to wait until the kid is 18. There are plenty of countries, places like that will happily accept the husband and daughter as citizens that dint give a Frick about child custody in another nation.
@@godofthecripples1237Hes most likely not divorcing because he wants to see his daughter and he will probably lose custody. As for the councelling, i would imagine he doesnt want to put in all that work for it to happen again. She broke his trust once, so why should he trust her again?
@@nnnik3595 i agree with you fully but instead of cheating the right thing to do is talk about it and say that u need certain stuff and just communicate Cheating is never right and never the answer
@@nnnik3595husband is a human too, and somehow didn't cheat. Weird, right? I think it might due to self control which the other party lacked. What also other party(wife) lacked is ability to fucking communicate like normal human being
Thats the thing, once your partner cheated on you, everytime she goes out anywhere you would instantly think shes cheating. Trust, once broken is hard to rebuild. It could be repaired, but it will take time and a ton of effort maybe decades. If she cant be patient with him, better move on and break the relationship.
@@Zero-Dux Often parents might stay together for the sake of their kids. However, that relationship is still broken forever and kids anyway will feel that something is wrong. Cheating ends a relationship. In my 40 years I haven't see a single couple that recovered from it.
This happened to me the other way around...he got convinced I cheated on him so he cheated on me while I was almost 6 months pregnant. He hid it for a month (even tho he could have passed sth to me and the baby) I forgave him and he started acting mean and distant and started accusing me of cheating on him even more demanding even a paternity test . (Mind you I don't even go grocery shopping alone bc I'm quite agoraphobic) I don't know what to do or what went wrong
I don't understand why women think they can shatter a man's heart in to a trillion tiny pieces and somehow believe it can be fixed as opposed to it being permanently ruined.
She's narcissist like most of them 304s are. Props to both of them for staying together to keep the kid in healthy mind. 304s really be allergic to taking accountability. My boy Future said it the best if she cheats.
@@YanekaXD they don't view love the same way men do. They love us like they love their car. When they first get it they're SO excited about it. They pose for cute pictures with it, match their phone and outfit with it and take (relatively) good care of it. Over time it gets a bit worn out. A little bumped, a little bent and bruised as things happen. It loses the "new" and "fresh" appeal that comes with something new and bright and shiny and exciting. She eventually trades it in for a hot, new and exciting model. That doesn't mean she didn't love the car. She did! She's just done with it and moved onto the next one.
That's because women don't have a heart. They don't and never will understand what men feel. They have a thinking organ in their skull and a blood pumping organ in their ribs but no heart.
I've been following the whole thing on reddit, this video is about her first post, she made 4 or 5 more of them, updating on the situation, he's still broken af and they didn't get the divorce (even though the last comment was 8 months ago), they both went on individual therapy instead of couple therapy, which is great, she sounded aware of what she did, how the husband and the relationship could be unfixable forever, she is starting to accept it and is trying to be the best person she can for him and the child. She's ready for the possibility in case he decides to get a divorce. They had a Valentine's date where she did everything for him, apparently succeeding in doing so since he smiled and laughed after a long time. She stopped "forcing him" to have sex, understanding that she was practically assaulting him, thanks to the helpful comments on the subreddit threads. Besides that, we don't have any more updates, in my opinion what she did is absolutely unforgivable and unforgettable, he's broken, his trust and his affection were destroyed and he might never recover from that, but she's doing her best to let him open up and decide what's best, without letting her emotions interfering, which is a redeeming behaviour.
I had to watch twice to realize the affair partner was a woman. I do hope that they work it out. I cheated on my wife many times. Once she caught me and an affair partner in our own bed. I was stupid and never cheated again. She decided she wanted me in her life and we stayed together for 27 years when she passed away. As for her dressing up and looking all sexy the way he likes to go out on a "girl's night" and being surprised he was upset is being totally clueless. Imagine if the husband came home and said he slow danced to "our song" with another woman and expecting her to be happy about it. That's kind of the equivalent. Yup, I hate to say I did that many years ago and believe me it didn't go well. It took over 10 years for her to dance with me to "our song" again.
She probably won’t ever get forgiven. And no matter what she puts into the relationship, that isn’t up to her. It’s up to the man she wronged. It’s nice that she is trying to take accountability and I see a world where they can eventually get to a better place. But even if they don’t, I have an inkling of respect for the effort she is putting into it. Since we aren’t seeing his perspective, I believe he is putting in just as much effort to not leave and to not show how much he despises his situation. That’s why he’s so broken. He’s emotionally exhausted wearing that mask. Sad situation all around. End of the day: Don’t cheat
Husband most likely divorced her given how in her last post she said how his demeanor changed completely when they were alone and she noted how it was very much a possibility. Coupled with the fact that she dropped off completely from updating the situation (mentioned in a couple of comments how she wished to go to couples therapy in a subreddit designed to help affair partners so the lack of update is "concerning"). Which if so, good for him, regardless of the progress in therapy, she's a terrible person. Not just the cheating but the SA frankly repulses me. That or OP is no longer with us which if that's the case, i only really bad for the daughter.
Yeah that's unforgivable. You'd have to be a vile, disgusting person to do that I'd get a DNA test. Honestly she's lucky he didn't mentally snap and that man will have a trust wound until the day he dies.
Both are horrific in their own right there isn't comparisons to be had. One is giving every man worst nightmare by thinking it was your child but realising years later that it is not. and the other is endangering your potential baby life their both vile and horrible.
If she loved her husband and actually regretted her actions, she would get a divorce agreement drafted that gives her not a single cent so this man can begin to heal. But I don't think a cheating woman has ever done that in the history of divorces. That's because they're not sorry at all. Ever.
My ex did. I told her I would cut everything in half while livestreaming it while explaining what she did to everyone who knew us. She valued her reputation. So she walked away. I let her keep her car, clothes and whatever furniture she wanted. I kept full custody of the kids, house my pensions and retirement. She told everyone what an abusive monster I was but I didnt care. When we got to court the judge asked her are you sure this is what you want? And she said yes. Women fight via reputation destruction. If you want to defeat a woman, thats how you go after her. You just fight her like a woman. Men need to really understand this.
@@worndown8280 recording my sons mother(wife/split) admitting to cheating was a golden idea by me to favor myself in court if i had to go into action to prove point.
The marriage is already over and your husband is just hanging in for the one person he loves most in the world, his daughter. When you cheat on your man you go from being his woman to everyone's woman. You are not the same person in his eyes anymore and you never will be the woman he fell in love with ever again. If you truly love him and want him to be happy then give him a divorce that favors him, give him unlimited access to his child and let him keep his money and possessions. That is all you can do because the man you love is gone forever and the very best thing you can do for him is set him free to find a woman who won't wipe her ass with her marriage vows.
I’ve been cheated on by a long term girlfriend before, and I can confirm, once you find out, it’s like a veil has been lifted from that woman and you cannot see them the same. It’s like they were covered in a beautiful shroud that you thought was that person, only to find out once it’s been lifted the hideous monster that hid underneath…. I tried staying with her for almost another full year after she cheated, and it was just never the same. Anytime I wasn’t with her I couldn’t trust what she was doing, or if she was where she said she was. It made me paranoid and miserable. I vowed never to take back a cheater ever again. You get one chance with my trust and that’s it.
She broke him emotionally, and yet still wants him to love her, never seeming to realize he wasn't staying for her sake, but for their daughter. It is almost sad that she doesn't seem to realize that he hasn't forgiven her. That he is in fact *forcing* himself to be there.
this forgiveness thing? it's not a conscious decision. Even if the mind wills it, if the heart does not buy it... he's trying to forgive her. but he can't. and it's not his fault.
The woman he married and the woman he is married to now are not the same person in his mind. Even if he forgives her, he knows now he can never truest her, which doesn't lend itself to a stable relationship.
@@johnbox271 This is exactly what my mom said when dad cheated on her. She said she "felt sorry" for him because he seems to be "trying". But after the betrayal, it will always loom at the back of her mind how the partner she thought she could entrust her whole life to can actually betray her on a whim. So simply and so easily. It's so frustrating to watch my own parents be in that kind of situation, but I know it's an issue between them. I am in no position to dictate what two grown people should do with their relationship no matter how stupid and toxic it has become.
She has to accept the fact that she is just the mother of his child. After she cheated he said he loves her the most, but she didn't say that to him. That's how you don't make up for a mistake. By her tone and actions, it is clear she doesn't really regret the cheating, she just wants to calm her conscience and avoid the coincidences.
"he used to say he couldn't fall asleep without me, to the point where he was away on his business trips, he would call me at night so I could talk to him as he fell asleep." I felt a fucking spear going through me. I'm literally him. I almost cried on that part lol
@@pootispow3232 I think he's just pointing out how silly it is that she was convinced he was cheating by her coworker, when calls like that were happening regularly while he was away
What really told me this poor man's mental state was the demand for a paternity test and this idiot didn't even realize it... this woman gets a female affair partner while pregnant, and when she confesses the first thing he does is ask for a paternity test. That, right there. He doesn't assume the child is your affair partner's. He assumes you've been cheating with whatever partner you've felt like since the very start of the marriage and maybe even before, and that your *current* affair partner happens to be female. This man isn't still in that house for you. He's there for your daughter. And FYI, you *should* feel scummy about initiating sex with him because he's literally only doing it to placate you. You *are* forcing him to have sex in order to keep the house calm, because when he tried to just exist in the same home as you did without sleeping in the same bed you threw a fit and got mad about it (despite you saying that you "understood" he needed time). He didn't care that you were going out. He assumed you were going out, and all he said was that he assumed you were going on a date, because that's what he assumes you've been doing since day one. Not that he was upset about it. Completely checked out of that relationship. Great going.
Fantastic post. Women, generally speaking, never understand because they can't empathize. They can only look at things from a woman's perspective. This man has had his entire belief system (i.e. his belief in his wife) completely destroyed, when he did everything he could to provide for his family and take care of his wife. This man will probably never recover from this betrayal (shown by the fact that he's staying with her and even allowing her to..."take advantage of him" in the bedroom. OF COURSE he doesn't finish, he doesn't even want to be there! She's lucky he can get erect at all).
This is spot on! It's ironic that women don't understand this because they keep repeating they are very social and have more moral social skills than men.
This is so sad to me. As someone who was cheated on by my ex wife(I left afterwards), this hits so close to home. What’s the most sad to me is that if women(men too but IMO what I’m about to say is mostly a women problem) could just take full accountability of their mistake instead of looking for a scapegoat or making it about THEIR guilt, it could be a forgivable offense with time and if you care about the person enough. In my case, she really made it all about how devastating her mistake was to HER….when I was the one hurting and had my whole world turned upside down. Unimaginably selfish.
I know this is an old comment but I thought I'd just chip in. My ex gf - when she cheated on me hid behind the excuse (among MANY) that she wasn't treating me the way I deserved so that's why. Bit of a self defeating/fulfilling mentality to have. She still to this day refuses to admit the truth, despite it being revealed by numerous sources.
You guys are at fault too. Honestly if you guys said you need a career to support the marriage to feel secure in the first place, they would not cheat probably. Either they leave on good terms, or they stay to support you. The cheating only occurs if you are also did not communicate properly. A month or 2, yeah, maybe the guy was not careful and didn't communicate openly about his reassurances and confidence boosts. Several months? Yeah this guy messed up.
It’s not about him, the reason he asked for a paternity test was to see if he’d stay or leave. He is only there for the kid and to prevent him from growing up in a broken home and around people who may not have his best interests in mind. He’s sacrificing his happiness for his child. People underestimate just how damaging it can be for children to grow up in broken homes, and if you’re able to put on a brave face for the kids and not be agressive or resentful of your spouse in front of them it’s usually the better option for the kids. We’ve just become used to prioritizing ourselves above all others.
@@Amenimunhe stayed. For his own sake and his daughter’s sake he needs to fix the heart she admittedly broke or that kid and he is going to have a terrible life. It’s not that she is owed it, it’s that he is. He is staying he can either torture himself, the kid and her, baring any more betrayals from her, or leave.
Him figuring out what he needs from her can help him work on building his marriage back if that is what he wants. He is in pain and should be. He also made the decision to stay. He needs to know what he needs to try and trust her again and to eventually forgive her or no one is happy. It’s not my marriage to fix. He was trying to I think but he is still hurting they need professional help to fix what SHE broke. A Christian concept is forgiveness is a gift you give yourself not always the other person. I have sympathy for this woman because she was weak, but I keep thinking about the husband living in constant suffering and their kid. If he did leave it would be 100% her fault, she stepped out. She can only do so much without his help to fix what she broke.
@@culturewarsdiplomacy i'ld say by the way he treated the child in this he loves and cares for his daughter, but what people are failing to see is that if he divorces his wife a chain of thing will happen. One the wife will end up with their daughter due to him not having time to care for her due to work and two due to this he will end up paying his cheat of an ex-wife child support to look after their daughter and finally three he would see his daughter alot less because most likely mother and daughter would move to another place after the divorce. he has quite clearly checked out with his wife as it is, he staying because he wants to be in his daughters life as much as possible.
Cheating is one of those things that changes a relationship forever. Like a broken mirror - it can never look the same again, even if you try your best to put it back together.
OP needs to face facts; she cheated on her husband. Cutting her affair partner out of her life doesn't change that, and it's going to have a major impact on the marriage that may never fully heal. The reason husband clocked out of the marriage is because now he realizes it's fragile and vulnerable - she can hardly blame him for that. OP needs to accept she's damaged her marriage, perhaps beyond repair. No amount of cooking, prettying yourself up, etc. is going to fix that. If she truly wants to save her marriage, then the only thing I can think of for it would be marriage counseling - otherwise, husband is only sticking around for their kid and has removed all emotional investment from her, and her attempts to forcibly change his behavior will not only not remind him he loves her, but make him resent her. If he wants his space, give it to him. If he pulls away even more after that, well, it just means it was already over.
Talk to his friends not family I know that's a pretty fucked and stupid thing to say but if bro had friends then they're prolly ya next best thing to seek advice or help from. And if he has a brother or close sister which would definitely cause uproar but as long as you're truthful and honest about your regret they might be willing to look past some small parts by the cheating. They'll definitely hate you but they'll more definitely want to see their brother or friend happy again and sadly there's a chance it's over and ya need to resort to divorce because what was his happiness had now already been violated and no longer a place or person or etc. He can cherish anymore as his joy
Here's how to fix the relationship. First, you're gonna need make-up. Lots and lots of make-up, preferably white. Get a red nose and potentially a rainbow afro wig to go with it and show him, since clearly the relationship is a joke if they're willing to cheat
Tell me you've never been in a relationship without telling me you've never been in a relationship 😂 I love that you proposition girls to build a life around you but if they ever so much as give an errant handy in lust, you'll consider them pariahs. Good luck with such a powerful and enduring love! 😂 You pressure someone in monogamy, don't complain if they cheat. Same as if you buy drugs from a dealer, don't complain if you od bc they changed the dosage. What a pathetic love that has to rely on state financial/legal/sexual contracts, ie prostitution.
@@jasonfurumetarualkemisto5917 can you read? Rebut? Or are you actually the one unable to form a response to something, and lashing out with vague "mentally well" references? Tell me, how many times do you orgasm a day? If you'd like to posture about relationships, do you have the balls to state the intimate details of yours?
Women's best friends are some of the biggest causes of failed relationships. I've had that happen to me multiple times. You can always tell. If she comes home from hanging out with her bEsTiE and is short with you, all her friend did was try to convince her that you're trash. Women will always hold the opinion of a friend on a higher pedestal than you could ever reach.
I've been this guy except I told my ex wife I was leaving and didn't put up with her cheating. That relationship will never be the same. It took me about 4 days to realize her apologies meant absolutely nothing to me and I could never again be emotionally invested in her. 13 years later and we talk friendly and coparent our son but I have zero regrets about leaving and respecting myself. This man is staying for the kid.
@@rafaelgabrielgarlinidal-bo9496 He isn't respecting himself. He thinks the only way to be in his daughter's life is to keep the cheating bitch at home.
Plenty of men do the exact same thing. Shitty people will always blame others for their own shitty actions, regardless of gender. All you can really do is make sure that you yourself are not one of those people.
thats what happens if women dont face any real consequences. Bring back the at-fault marriage, abolish any and all forms of spousal support, make his money and assets 100% safe if he initiates divorce. And see women will change their ways, promptly.
Yeah. She has totaly screwed this poir dude. Not only is she unemployed, but she basicaly made herself the picture if a perfect wife and mother. So she gets alimony, half or more of his shit, and most likely full costody if she is spiteful enough. And cosidering how she is acting, yelling at him and shit, i wouldnt doubt she could and woud screw him over in court.
thats when you play the long game : stay until the kid is 18. then leave the country and leave her stranded. Good luck getting a divorce or allimony going to someone who went off the radar and restarted new in another country with a new name. Lots of nice countries where its not hard to do.
@@voidroadOr another long game where he - at first encourages his wife to get a job - transfer all his wealth to someone he could trust, maybe parents or a sibling - somehow "lose" his job and become a stay at home dad - maintain unemployment for a time of 6-7 months and divorce He'd be awarded with alimony/maintenance + high chance of custody considering he's a stay at home parent, moreover this will serve as great revenge to OP
I remember a time after i found out my ex cheated on me,after a few months i bought a gaming computer and moved it into the spare bedroom where i started spending all my free time getting high and playing games like i used to do,and one time i got up and went to the bathroom without her noticing and i heard her having a conversation with her mother and she literally said "i dont understand he just sits back there and plays video games all day,its like we are just room mates now"
Most women I dated can't admit fault. Maybe it says more about me than about them but that's my personal experience. They just take all their feelings as something absolute and shameless so if she's cheating on you that's just a part of her and you better move on or don't expect any sign of real remorse or regret.
@@Iwmar The women of today grow up on a bunch of different influences. Most aren't in control of their emotions and don't understand the difference between love and loyalty. Also with more mentally unstable people than ever before it's like trying to get through a mine field unscathed. Liars, narcissists, and so many other shades of terrible are all out there floating around. I'm fortunate, and my wife and I can't even fathom trying to navigate dating waters today. People forget that marriage is like a business as well. You want to keep it trending up and keep your losses to a minimum. People don't treat it like that though and you can see the outcome with how high divorce rates are.
@@lodunostThere's no difference in the men or women of yesterday and today. This is a common misconception. We are literally the same. So stop going from that reference point immediately.
@@BlueRidgeBubble There is a huge difference in values and environment. There is no misconception, unless you're talking about genetically. Point to me some academic literature with scientific backing supporting your statement. There are innumerable studies done on outside influences and their behaviors. Here is one. THE MONSTER STUDY carried out on kids. I invite you to read that and tell me that the influences have no bearing on people. We can look at every trend today from marriage to graduation rate and trend that shit and see a very real impact from the very foundation or lack thereof provided to the people in society today. There is a reason. When you use the word, "literally" you let every person know that you exhibit lolcow low IQ cognition and are unable to read, speak, or have an original opinion. You sound like Cyraxx the lolcow when using the word. Or even articulate a sentence with proper syntax and grammar. If you take the word, "literally" then it would be a correct sentence. See the blue line that should appear under it. Yeah, that is a clue that you should investigate. I thought maybe you were a troll but looking at your comment history and seeing some of it you're a buffoon. US millennial women saw their mental health decline, per non-profit PRB. US millennial women Homicide, maternal mortality, and suicide rates have all increased for women aged 25 to 34. To be clear, instances of infidelity increase with age in both men and women. But according to information gathered by the General Social Survey (GSS), millennial women are the only ones who manage to actually outdo the guys. Direct from google on millennial women. and the list goes on it's there for you to see on the interwebs. Use Google, Qwant, or any other search engine to noodle through it.
Trust is the most fragile and valuable thing you will ever have in your life if you ever have it at all...once broken it can never really be restored, not ever. This man's love for his wife was based on an innocent trust that he was sure of, it can never be the same again. I've been there myself.
The only reason OP isn't a single mother right now is because her husband knows he would get screwed in divorce court. He'd lose his home, lose time with his child, and be on the hook for child support and alimony. It's cheaper to stay married to the cheater until daughter is 18. OP being all shocked Pikachu when her husband doesn't trust her and expects her to cheat again. Like duh. What did you expect girlie? Lol. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's husband used a 'business trip' as an excuse to get a secret vasectomy. No more kids for OP, less time trapped in a loveless marriage for OP's husband.
Yeah but why would he need a vasectomy??? It's not like he's sleeping around. And he's not sleeping with her. She said that he never finished. And that pretty much says it all for me. That marriage is over in his mind. Poor guy. But hey, she said that her affair was with a woman. So it's not like Tyrone pumped her full of his seed.
@@gregorylyon1004 Just in case. This way if he does someday have contact with her, it lowers the chance of pregnancy. He might not always have a condom or be able to convince her to use one.
@@gregorylyon1004doesn't matter who she steps out for, all that matters is you use the time where she believes you are trying to forgive, to slowly destroy everything she is as a human being. Make her feel disgusting. Out her to friends and family in passing. Make light of her attempts to get attention. When you know she's listening, sit in a dark room alone and whisper about how much you hate her to yourself, they walk out smile and give her a kiss. Make her know horror.
The woman has zero awareness that dressing up the way her husband USED to like and doing her hair the way he USED to like, while going out without him is a huge red flag to him. Then she gets upset with him for being untrustworthy. The nerve of this woman. You reap what you sow, and the only reason he hasn’t left is because the system would screw him over with child support and not being able to see his daughter. She is a horrible woman, I feel for the husband and hopefully he can move on without her. If you don’t want to be with the person you are married to anymore, leave, never cheat
She's not devoted, she's overcompensating. So all she had to do was wear him down. What little self respect he had is gone. She could go cheat all she wanted and he wouldn't go anywhere. It's a win win for her.
Well, she is the victim, a victim actually. The victims are everyone: the daughter, the husband, the wife. The perpetrator? Yeah, the wife. She ruined everyone and she ruined herself.
No, she can't have what she really deserves because what she deserves is a quick divorce with zero rights over anything and no custody as well as she would never sign that and the "justice" system won't do justice. We all know posting a skewed version om reddit playing her action as "a slip" should be enough for her to repent and we all know if her husband were acting as if nothing happened she would nust do it again and her wo faced "respect" for him would become sincere disgust and no reddit posts would be made.
“I started cooking for him” why is this always a thing like cooking for someone is a big deal? The way some women talk about cooking is like they’ve climbed Everest to pick a flower or something. I cook for my spouse all the time because… We need to eat. What’s the big deal? They act as if it’s so demeaning to cook for someone else, if you need food just cook and shut up.
Which means that she wasn't doing it before. Which means that she knew it was something he would have appreciated all along, but she refused to do it until she screwed up so bad that she felt no choice but to put on an act in order to placate him. Like cooking is supposed to make up for you breaking your wedding vows and betraying your husband. If I were the husband seeing her do all that now after the cheating would make me feel sick, I would view it as an insult almost.
I dont get it either. My gf likes to cook for me despite her generally not enjoying to cook. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy it even more when I can cook for her. I work shifts, she works a normal job from monday to friday so we generally take turns in cooking depending on who has a day off or more freetime that day. I don't really get how some people, especiall, women see it as demeaning or "slavery". When I lived alone, I had to cook everyday myself, so did my gf. Now we do it on days with spare time while we get a home cooked meal on our most busy days. End result is basically less work and stress for both of us and more freetime. Really can't stand that feminist BS anymore. Someone has to make food and when you are in a relationship, you can optimize it and have the one qith more spare time in the day cook.
Typical narcissistic behavior. "I did something I shouldn't have, causing possibly irreparable damage to my relationship, but you're making me feel bad about it or I just generally don't like the way you're acting now, so it's your fault"
They have convinced themselves it’s someone else’s fault, I know I cheated but it’s because she made me feel wanted, why can’t he trust me that I’d never cheat……..again
Nothing makes a man more chipper than his spouse cheating on him. Really makes you look forward to every day knowing that the only option is divorce meaning that you won't get to see your child and you now have to pay the person who ruined the relationship. This woman is clueless among her other toxic behaviors.
If she ment it, she would tell him he could opt for full custody and she swears, and will sign for it, to be exempt from even a single penny of alimony. that would be a fair start.
This is a Reddit post. While instances like this happen, most that are from Reddit are made up or exaggerated scenarios that are reposted into channels like this to earn views and subscriptions for opinionated folks who are hungry for some anonymous 'tea'. In a few years or so, this channel's title and content will change because it has garnered enough viewer engagement and will most likely get sold to a company or to some ambitious content creator. Basically the cycle of YT channels and their strategies.
He wouldn’t lose the kid in court. 90% of ALL cases, mom gets main custody which is true. HOWEVER that includes cases where dad doesn’t show up at court at all. In cases where the dad DOES show up and try to get custody guess what? Dads win in 60% of those cases. So more often than moms. This guy would be fine in court.
Narcissists need constant admiration from wherever they can get it. Her husband was busy, so she found it in an affair. Then he becomes distant from her and she's imploding. If I had to bet, it's only a matter of time before she does it again.
I don’t advise staying with someone who cheated, but, if you do, make sure they give you a full confession on video with details. This isn’t for blackmail or extortion. It is for your protection. It is critical that you have hard evidence of her cheating in case reconciliation fails and she tries to drag your name through the mud.
what do you expect him to do i bet if he tries to take the kid with him he might lose the kid because the law really against men if you are the good father and you want to take good care of your kid but the mother wont allow this she most of the time will win and take the kid away from you he must have felt like baby trapped with this women because im sure he would like to not be with his wife but he cant do anything most of the times even evidents wont allow you to take the kid to live with you
@@georgegorvaniagerge7077Well you did say a lot of bull considering in reality men don't even file for joint custody most of the time. You ca look it up. When there's cases of a r@pist being given rights over a r@p3 baby.
@@SA-ey6nt if a man file for custtody their stuff might end up being taken by their wifes and not to say this but mostly women are the one who does this even when their family is totaly fine and good because they arent losing anything by it for them its just win if they dont want to be with their husband but for the husband who loves his family and has to fight so he wont lose his children if he tries to to divorse her he might lose his kid and he dosent want his kid to be without a father
@@georgegorvaniagerge7077 You're continuing with the bull. It's evident you don't understand the laws in NO way? Why are you explaining to me things that aren't reality? "If a man files for custody his stuff might end up being taken" WRONG. Very much not reality. "The women are the ones doing this even when everything's good and totally fine" 😂😂 Really? You cannot be serious. Educate yourself! Because how do you expect anybody to take you seriously when you sound like a brainwashed zombie?
I will never understand people who cheat because “I almost never see them because of work 🥺” Like do you really think your partner WANTS to be away from you so often? No, they don’t. Just talk to your partner about the work schedule and get support from family and friends. Making the conscious decision to cheat instead of communicating and finding support is extremely telling.
Its even worse because she WANTED to. "She convinced me he was cheating on me." Bitch YOU are the one in the relationship and know him better. YOU told us he misses you so much he will call just to fall asleep to your fucking voice. She for the streets.
His face melted... Yeah, finding out your entire life is over AND it caught an innocent kid in the collateral damage, yeah, then realizing your kid probably isn't yours then, you're lucky he didn't self-violence himself
The man is so distraught that he asked for paternity test when the affair partner was female. He basically is wondering how many partners there have been now
Imagine if the wife never mentioned that she plays for both teams before. Then the husband would obviously make some assumptions. 1. What if she is lying about the affair partner being a woman so I won’t suspect that the kid isn’t mine? 2. If the affair partner is really a woman what if my wife plays both teams because she isn’t ready or doesn’t want to come out? 3. If she is really a lesbian what if she never wanted me but instead she just wanted a “ normal life “ so she wouldn’t be judged by say her traditional parents for example? 2 and 3 kinda similar but you get the point.
Its always easier to blame the other one, rather than looking for the fault on herself. It's easy to find out what kind of a person someone is, when they make a mistake. Do they blame others, or themself for the mistake. A person with good character and wholesome integrity will not blame others if they played no meaningful part in that mistake happening. But yeah, that man in the story will never return. She broke his trust, the only real meaningful bond they had and now she thinks she can fix it by being her normal self. Trust is like a mirror, once it breaks and even if you try to fix it, you will still see cracks.
her frustration is understandable, if not unexcusable. after all, from her point of view: she did everything she could to fix this. too bad that from her husband's point of view, as well from anyone with sanity and integrity: this is not fixable. being an adult means realizing that some things... once fxcked... can never be unfccked.. Unless you truly understand this, you have no right to call yourself an adult human.
Finally a “wife cheated on me” story from the narcissist cheater’s POV. God, the mental hoops OOP jumped through to justify her cheating, and then to get pissy because hubby has stopped showering her in affection. Like what did she expect? Immediate affection and counseling? Praise because she cut off her AP? What’s done is done, OOP’s marriage is over, stbx doesn’t trust her anymore. He, at the very least sounds rational, but staying for the kid is always a bad look. Contrary to what people believe, kids know when their parents hate each other, they know their parents should split, and grow up feeling crappy because they find out they’re the reason they stayed together and miserable.
I know these stories are mostly made up but it legit pissed me off for a second that she was acting like he never gave her attention when he was too busy traveling for work, but mentions later that he'd call her just to talk until he could sleep. It made me mad because it sounded like she was holding herself accountable for the cheating at first, but then it turns out her whole motivation for cheating was just her not caring that he wanted to be with her, evidently more than she did.
>grow up feeling crappy because they find out they’re the reason they stayed together and miserable. Imagine being left with only the wife to raise the kid. That girl would be a daddy-hating nutjob by 18 if the wife had sole custody.
@ayanithtalreign Who says the wife would be the only one raising the kid? If hes willing to stay in that household for her whose to say if he were to leave he wouldn't do everything to play his part in her life. As a kid, seeing your parents unhappy and hate each other is worse than them being separated but happy. I would know, i have friends who come from divorced households.
Cheated on him with a _girl_ too? Yea, that's a done marriage. He's forcing himself to touch her in bed. Probably cant look at or trust her anymore, even when around other women. She can't just have friends either, she's shown him they're not off the table and she's willing to say yes
Yeah alotta pervy people like to think the lesbo stuff isn't all that bad, but in reality it's worse, if not almost worse. As you said, now he can't even trust that she won't cheat again with one of her "girl friends." A girls night out, even knowing 100% it's actually with her female friends and not a lie to cheat with another man, isn't a safe assurance that she likely won't be cheating on that night's outing.
It's better than the alternative for me for some reason. Over regardless but I probably wouldn't get a nauseous feeling from knowing she bumped mounds.......lol
The fact that she had to quit her job because she couldn’t control herself around her coworker tells me all I need to know. Her husband needs to stop playing her “beard” & get out of that marriage. If he stays it will only be a matter of time before she messes around with another woman
Nasty woman. Actually spending time to justify her affair at the beginning boils my blood. You ruined it yourself now you gotta live with the consequences of your actions.
You wouldn't go behind his back but you're having a night out with your girls and he doesn't know anything about it until you're totally dressed up and about to head out. Funny...
Let's say she genuinely was going out with friends, and dressing like that to try and look good for him when she gets home It ain't gonna look that way to him Taking her at her word on this shows how completely oblivious she is to his point of view
Just from the way it's written, this girl is insane enough that I honestly believe that the real reason she didn't go out with her girlfriends is because she KNOWS she might have just decided to 'get a little action' with one of them or with some random hot guy at the club, and once he called her out on potentially doing it, she panicked at his 'figuring it out' and overcompensated by cancelling the whole thing. And then she made up the bit about "Well I had actually done my hair and wore this cute dress because its the way he likes" because if this really was for him and not literally 100% JUST FOR YOURSELF you would be doing that to take HIM on a date. Not that he'd go, but just the fact that this woman actually thought "I'll slutify myself and go out with my girlfriends then my husband I cheated on will be happy to see me get home at 3am and maybe offer to blow him or something" would be a good way to go about things? Yeah not buying it LOL.
Nahhh, single men raise children better than single women... lookup the stats, it's true. Children raised by single mothers are pretty much fucked (i would know, i'm one of them... only i didn't turn out like the stats) 80% of the kids end up going to prison when raised by a single mother, but nearly all of the children raised by a single father do just as well as if they had both parents. Short story short, women just suck... not hating on em, just saying the objective truth of the matter
This is the brutal thing about having an affair. You break something that can't just be fixed by choice. I applaud her for coming clean without being forced to, and for knowing what she did was wrong, and for trying so hard to show her appreciation - but when trust is so terribly broken, theres just not much that can be done.
It's never worth it to have an affair, it's never worth it to cheat on your partner. You don't know what you're ruining, and once destroyed, it will never be back to the way it was. Forgiveness does not mean you're freed from consequence. Beware anyone who ever says that it's ok if you cheat: they either don't care at all about you, or they actually wish that you be ruined.
He has come to accept that he can't trust his wife, ever. But he has decided to stay to be with his daughter more than half the time. He makes a conscious decision, recognizes what will happen, and accepts it as the price to keep his daughter in his life. He knows she doesn't love him nor respect him, and that she eventually will cheat again. Poor guys probably half an incident away from walking out in front of a bus.
People will really cheat on someone then act all baffled when their partner doesn't trust them or see them as a person anymore. The truth is, you broke up with them and smashed your relationship into irreparable pieces the moment you decided to cheat.
This reminds me of a manga recap video on TH-cam where a young man is betrayed by five girls (and also his mother and sister who didn't at least hear him out but instead just turned their back on him). After the fifth betrayal he is completely dead to any kind of friendship and has no interest in any kind of relationship since he's sure that he will just be betrayed again. Like in the Husband in this video, he basically completely dead to any kind of feeling. Even through the girls and his mother and sister try to apologize to him, it means nothing to him.
@@Solitaire001 That is basically what happens to a person, it’s why someone’s history does matter. If you’re constantly betrayed you’re not going to trust someone easily and, at some point, not at all.
"My affair has turned my husband into a robot" As it should have. Honestly, I dunno what she expected. Betrayal just does that to a person and I don't really know if it could be fixed. Everyone is different, but in any case, once lost, trust is very hard to regain.
Man away earning a living to support the family. Woman cheat because bored and other guys hot. Man finds out, relationship broken. Woman most affected. A tale literally older than the modern world.
The lack of accountability is real with this one... You cheated You broke the trust You forced intimacy he wasn’t ready for after the affair to make yourself feel better. Good on you for coming clean, but if you were worth being with there would have been nothing to admit. He is staying for the sake of the child, not your feelings. He stays close to the baby because that is the last proof he has that you were EVER a loyal partner. YOUtraumatized HIM and then you didn’t give HIM space to heal because YOU were uncomfortable. If the roles were reversed hiw would you feel in his situation? Your lack of empathy for what he might be going through emotionally right now is the problem.
When she said he doesn't even finish when they bed wrestle, i was actually shocked. I think any man out there knows how incredibly hard that is when you're with someone who's attractive. He is literally dead inside, there is nothing there anymore.
Tbh, you can't get him back, he's had like alot of men b4 him, been broken, I've experienced it myself, when u put ur all Into a relationship just to b betrayed, it's literally like having all the blood an air being drained from ur heart, it feels completely empty and lifeless, we can't control it, it just happens when we go thru such a heart break that we don't ever wanna care again, bcoz when they cared an did what they thought was right an what society says is right, they were proven wrong and made to look like a fool
Its crazy that the first 40 seconds are nothing but excuses and reasons for her affair before she puts the blame on the person having the affair. Some people really have 0 shame.
That's the most telling part about all these stories from the cheating woman's perspective. There aren't many we get to see from this POV, but one thing literally every single one, WITHOUT FAIL, has in common, is their immediately justification for the initial betrayal, and/or immediate painting it in a light of how it was their boyfriend/fiance/husband's fault 'if you really think about it'. It actually makes it worse when you understand this, because it means that these either clueless, stupid, delusional or outright evil women, who are sure it's not even their fault, are posting stories like these because they WANT the attention and for people to agree with them and for this example tell them "Yeah girl you shouldn't be punished for one little mistake, I don't know why he's being so rude and cold to you after all you did was cheat on him, you apologized, it's a mistake we could all make, you should probably divorce him because he's being so mean" but then they find out that even redditors have a limit to this bullshit.
This woman doesn’t get it, as a guy (and im assuming for most women) this is the highest form of betrayal, you killed his love for you, he wont ever trust you again, you can’t “fix” it because there is nothing to fix, when you say “i feel like im forcing him to do it with me” its because its not a feeling, you are forcing him, he is around you only because of his daughter and whatever other reasons there may be for him to be forced to stay, you have no right to feel frustrated at him and what you dont really get is that he most likely doesn’t care if you’re frustrated. Apathy is a stone cold, hard, ruthless bitch and you made him part of her.
I just think of a line from a lumineers song… “the opposite of love is indifference.” It would be so much worse for someone to just not have any feeling towards you than hate you. I think this story exemplifies it. She deserves it and I feel bad for the husband.
Amazing how in hindsight, the wife can recount all the ways her husband treated her well BEFORE she convinced herself that he was sneaking around with other women while away on business. Granted, his career was not helpful to his marriage, but I mean, that's no excuse for what she did. And she has no right to play the victim role at this point. How does she get back her husband? Don't think she can un-f*ck her co-worker, so she probably can't un-f*ck her marriage.
Cheaters think they're entitled to forgiveness and that love can be regained if they are sincere enough, even if it takes a decade. Let me just be real here: distancing yourself from further affairs are not a reason for someone to love you. Relationships are not a game that can be reset on a whim, once their love for you hits 0 you won't even be able to regain 1/10th of what used to be.
You are entitled to what someone tells you they’re going to do. If he didn’t want to forgive her, he shouldn’t have said he would. If he couldn’t get over it, that’s his problem for lying.
@@MinisterManDan He probably DID want to forgive her. As someone who has been through the bullshit, trust me, it's not as cut and dry as you are making it out to be.
@@MinisterManDanwell that is her problem for lying during her wedding vows she should accept whatever she gets or do the honorable thing and leave him with his daughter, money and possessions and she can have visitation rights
He’s just there for the kid at this point. If they didn’t have children he would’ve dumped her immediately.
Not to mention that the divorce would’ve been a pain in the ass..
@@jerichocage3825If honest the sad part is if he wants there to be a happy family he is the one that has to fix his broken heart that she broke.
@@culturewarsdiplomacy So it's his responsibility, to man up and behave like the cheating didn't happen? Why should he fix anything? Did he mess up?
@@MikeKnell2884 All she can do is continue to show him her time of weakness that lead to her betrayal is in the past. It happened. It sounds like this is a few years back. She broke his heart, she can’t do much to fix it except be a better wife and partner and mother. But fixing his broken heart he has to do.
@@MikeKnell2884 because no one can fix you. Only YOU can fix you. If he doesn't fix himself, no one will be able too. Is the same reason why its no ones fault when someone kills themselves.
Imagine utterly destroying a man, and then complaining that he's dead inside
...welcome to the mindset of a woman.
Even when it can’t possibly be our fault, it’s our fault. We are to blame.
@@saotomebusterThis isn't a gendered thing. Hush.
Cheating wife: wHaT aBoUt mE?
@@saotomebusterit’s absolutely his fault his kid is being raised in this toxic and hellish environment. He had two choices: get over it or get divorced. Having kids means you make decisions you don’t like for their benefit, and no kid is going to benefit from being raised with this horror normalized for them.
If he had divorced her then, which with hindsight it is clear he should have done since he can’t get over it, her guilt would have gotten him decent terms and they may have been able to form a decent co parenting relationship. Now if they get divorced, she’s going to pay him back for years of loveless torture. He’s a coward.
She somehow convinced your husband was cheating on you but then goes on to say her husband called her every night because he couldn’t fall asleep with her talking. 😂 it’s funny when people want to do something they will use any excuse
Her friend convinced her (the wife) that it's the husband's fault for being "gone too much".
@@chuckysmaria6466 of course in any situation an excuse would be created
I've had a LDR end because my ex let her college friends convince her I was cheating on her. I was working my butt off so I could have enough money to move over to where she lived without burdening her or her family. We also talked every day, not once had I refused to pick up a call or even refuse to call her myself.
Idk man some people just love to meddle in affairs they have nothing to do with.
How dare your husband work to support you and your soon to be born child?!
Scissoring tiiiime! 🎵 🎵 🎵
People do getting manipulated into cheating and convincing them their partner is bad for them in one way or another is generally how it happens. Ultimately though you should know better. I mean, if I worked with some woman that flirted with me a lot and said bad things about my wife it'd be pretty easy to figure out what was going on there. It's not rocket science.
Woman cheats on husband, man starts acting cold and dettached, woman most affected
Woman surprise Pikachu face.
@@venp4353damn bro that made me smile thanks for that, now i hate her with smile on my face 😂
Ye
Man to blame again.
@@PeterNorthsLeftTesticle I really hope you aren't serious
“After everything he really thinks I’d go behind his back like that?”
If “everything” includes the time you went “behind his back like that”, yes.
This was the reason I just can’t believe this is real. Her confusion makes absolutely no sense
@@OdeezyBaby18 a lot of these internet stories and reddit stories are like 98% fake. So never take it more seriously than grain of salt as its just.... a story.... from random strangers...
@@sparda9060 Yeah… I guess that makes sense tbh
@@sparda9060 In fact this story makes total sense because anyone who has dealt with women knows for a fact most western women nowadays are like this.
@@Leandro.PatagoniaNo that is how you see it because the only time you ever see a woman is online.
This is what being broken in the inside looks like.
Some people who get cheated on get angry or sad because they've been deeply hurt.
Others, like this man, get so broken they just don't feel anything anymore. The worst state of depression, where you become apathetic to life itself.
Just waiting to sleep and not wake up again
That could even degrade in a complete loss of thrust or attraction toward her or any other potential partners, lead to self deprecation, self loathing, deep questionment about ourselves or even a loss of self care or medical care, even to the point of a denial of self-preservation
And i know a bit about that
From my point of view, she's putting a tantrum and he's thinking about his daugther first and foremost
She failed to be a wife, he don't want to fail being a father
I sense resolution in this man, once their child old enough, she will never see her ex-husband again and it's possible he'll never see another woman too
To me, the husband is a hero. Imagine having to live that way, potentially for forever.
100% facts. It's how it was with me. Hollowed out is how I would describe it. Not angry, not sad. Just not there at all.
Imagine trusting someone for 9 years and they slap you in the face with the ultimate betrayal, then they have the nerve to complain that you don’t trust them anymore 😂
A lot of us don’t need to imagine it…
@@Emperor_Palpatine_66:( Darth Vader :( , jk bro yea it really sucks and unfortunately i know it too
"I'm not upset that you lied to me.
I'm grieving because from now on I cannot trust you anymore."
One of my best friends had this happen to him after 15 years of marriage, though thankfully he only had 4 years to wait for their daughter to move out, he than divorced his wife and moved on
@@mathrick9442good man
Why is it so hard for people to understand that cutting your affair partner out of your life is no reassurance at all?
Its like telling somebody you stabbed that they can feel safe now that you have thrown away the knife. They didn't feel unsafe because of the knife. They did so because of YOU.
That guy of the story is either only still in there for their child or he has no idea what you could do to fix it himself, so he just waits for a miracle to happen.
Truth of the matter is, if you betrayed someone like this, the only thing that could ever really make them stop doubting you is amnesia.
Time, time also helps sometimes
@@abletosip not allways
@@abletosiptime can also only makes it easier to live with the betrayal. Doesn’t mean the wound is completely heal or will ever heal.
@@abletosip Time does nothing. People don't need time to heal, people TAKE TIME to heal, it's different.
They aren't doing anything to help him heal, OP didnt mention therapy or couples counseling, dude is doing nothing to improve his situation and is probably only there for the child. You can't do nothing and expect things to change.
This is why I see little point in trying to continue the relationship after cheating. The relationship will never be the same because the betrayal will always be there. He should leave, but it appears he doesn't want to break up the household for the sake of his daughter. He needs to understand that seeing a dysfunctional relationship is not healthy at all for her. OP will cheat again this time with "justifiable" reasons due to her feeling unwanted.
"I don't know how much longer I can take the consequences of my actions" classic
She cheated on him and blames him for the way he's acting.
Yep that's the cheaters logic.
Satan has a nice spot for her in hell adulters definitely have a good spot in hell for them
You can't make this shit up
Women ☕️
Women ☕️
The paternity test was just to see if he was going to leave or stay. He’s there for the kid not you, he’s sacrificing his happiness for the kid not to grow up in a broken home, he is protecting the kid by being a good parent seeing you make bad decisions and life choices, potentially picking a bad father role model if he was not there. Congrats
Facts !
Well the thing is, the kid will grow up in a broken home regardless
@@glumphyStonedif done right, they won't KNOW that. Which is the point mate. They can worry about those things when they're older. Which they should. Because a kid should be allowed to worry about and do kid shxt.
@@iamfearnaught you cant fake real love man, in fact the chances are if you keep together forcing the relationship just because of the kids, you are eventually foster resentment and even hatred under the act, and those things inevitably come up, the children are not retarded they will feel it and it will be hugely toxic.
@@glumphyStoned again, if done right, they won't know that. I've seen countless cases of people saying they never knew about the issues with their parents until they hit a certain age. I get what you're saying but to a properly managed method that simply does not apply. I'm not saying the ones in the story will do it right but I'm saying that it is definitely possible to do. Children are not retarded but at the same time, they're pretty fvckin dumb.
But hey, that's JuSt a tHeOrY
Ever notice how when women try to explain why they cheat, they make it sound like they had no other choice. Cheating is ALWAYS a choice.
I can think of many men I know personally who have done the same thing. Almost every single one of my male coworkers at my current job cheats on their gf/wife. Many of my male friends too. And also my dad. There really is a point where cheating becomes almost commonplace unfortunately. I’m happy to say I’ve never cheated on anyone but I don’t think it’s fair to say one group cheats more/worse than the other.
@christiansanders1 never said one group cheats more than the other. Just that when confronted as to why they do,women make it seem like they have no agency.
Lol white knight simp @@christiansanders1
@@christiansanders1when a man cheats and says the woman was a POS. She usually is.
When a woman says the man was a POS. She can only recall a few instances but blows them out of proportion and acts like the man is a vile human.
Sincerely someone who wasted 7 years just to be cheated on and called the bad guy AFTER it all happened.
Women need no real reason to cheat. If a man cheats hes either a player in the first place or the woman is a bitch. Youll never see a man cheat cause he got bored.
Love when cheaters spend minutes talking about all the reasons they cheated to then say they take full responsibility. Yeah sure.
Well the reason why somebody cheats does make a difference. Its not all black and white.
If i heard a story for example, where somebody cheated because they were drunk, lonely, angry and feeling betrayed by their spouse vs. Somebody cheating cuz they only ever got married for money and dont care abt the spouse.
Those 2 situations change alot about how i view the person's character.
She shouldn't expect the trust and love again because like he said, what's stopping her from doing it again, is always going to be a factor
If she wants to take "full responsiblity" she should understand that from the beginning
@@austinpowers1061 There is zero excuse for cheating, none. Don't like a relationship leave it and you can't blame alcohol for something they probably already wanted to do.
@@austinpowers1061yeah I agree. Not many adults in the room it seems. I don’t blame the husband at all for acting and feeling how he does.. but I also don’t think the wife is an irredeemable monster either. She fucked up and feels genuine remorse for her actions. That doesn’t mean she should just accept any treatment she gets as a consequence. Ultimately this is something they have to work out between each other.
@@austinpowers1061 alcohol is not an excuse. I’ve been drunk plenty of times without my spouse and have never cheated. 🤷♂️
And not from a lack of opportunity… but an unwillingness to break the trust we have between us. Because once that’s gone, it is never coming back.
He is not divorcing because he will be screwed for child support because the wife resigned from her job. What a nice move from the wife! What a schemer.
he needs to scheme back.
wait for the kid to be 18 then take all the money and restart new in a smaller country with a new name , its not hard to find shit like that.
And watch her become homeless
@@voidroadOr, don't wait years to perform a petty scheme where he moves away from his daughter, and instead do something normal and rational like marriage counseling or divorce.
There is no reason to wait until the kid is 18. There are plenty of countries, places like that will happily accept the husband and daughter as citizens that dint give a Frick about child custody in another nation.
@@godofthecripples1237yeah divorce wouldnt work, as explained by genechristiansomoza4931
@@godofthecripples1237Hes most likely not divorcing because he wants to see his daughter and he will probably lose custody. As for the councelling, i would imagine he doesnt want to put in all that work for it to happen again. She broke his trust once, so why should he trust her again?
"I just want my husband back."
That husband is dead. You killed him.
It sounds like he won but can't enjoy it because he's proccupied with what it costed.
Imagine having so little faith in your partner, who has already been described as loving and caring, that you let a coworker talk you into an affair.
Chick on chick?
This is why dudes aren't getting married anymore these millennial women truly are poison
And a scissor affair at that.
I understand that par a little more because she whas pregnant, preg woman are fucking nuts because hormones
The husband is lucky it wasn't with a man
“My husband was working really hard and I didn’t see him much then, so I cheated on him.” - story as old as time.
Then she quits her job so he's now supporting the cheater entirely...
I mean as stupid as it sounds - humans just need to be together physically every once in a while.
@@nnnik3595 i agree with you fully but instead of cheating the right thing to do is talk about it and say that u need certain stuff and just communicate
Cheating is never right and never the answer
@@kingt7987 yeah I agree with that too. Humans on average do the easy things not the right things.
@@nnnik3595husband is a human too, and somehow didn't cheat. Weird, right? I think it might due to self control which the other party lacked. What also other party(wife) lacked is ability to fucking communicate like normal human being
4:00 "After everything, he really thinks I'd go behind his back like that?"
- The woman who cheated and did go behind his back like that
An affair kills love. What's left is just responsibility
Damn.
She should just bring him a better woman at this point, that's a start
Thats the thing, once your partner cheated on you, everytime she goes out anywhere you would instantly think shes cheating. Trust, once broken is hard to rebuild. It could be repaired, but it will take time and a ton of effort maybe decades. If she cant be patient with him, better move on and break the relationship.
@@Zero-Dux Often parents might stay together for the sake of their kids. However, that relationship is still broken forever and kids anyway will feel that something is wrong. Cheating ends a relationship. In my 40 years I haven't see a single couple that recovered from it.
This happened to me the other way around...he got convinced I cheated on him so he cheated on me while I was almost 6 months pregnant. He hid it for a month (even tho he could have passed sth to me and the baby) I forgave him and he started acting mean and distant and started accusing me of cheating on him even more demanding even a paternity test . (Mind you I don't even go grocery shopping alone bc I'm quite agoraphobic) I don't know what to do or what went wrong
I don't understand why women think they can shatter a man's heart in to a trillion tiny pieces and somehow believe it can be fixed as opposed to it being permanently ruined.
But, hey, she's sorry (obvious /s)
She's narcissist like most of them 304s are. Props to both of them for staying together to keep the kid in healthy mind. 304s really be allergic to taking accountability. My boy Future said it the best if she cheats.
@@YanekaXD they don't view love the same way men do. They love us like they love their car. When they first get it they're SO excited about it. They pose for cute pictures with it, match their phone and outfit with it and take (relatively) good care of it. Over time it gets a bit worn out. A little bumped, a little bent and bruised as things happen. It loses the "new" and "fresh" appeal that comes with something new and bright and shiny and exciting. She eventually trades it in for a hot, new and exciting model. That doesn't mean she didn't love the car. She did! She's just done with it and moved onto the next one.
@@YanekaXD ...she belongs to the streets!
That's because women don't have a heart. They don't and never will understand what men feel. They have a thinking organ in their skull and a blood pumping organ in their ribs but no heart.
I've been following the whole thing on reddit, this video is about her first post, she made 4 or 5 more of them, updating on the situation, he's still broken af and they didn't get the divorce (even though the last comment was 8 months ago), they both went on individual therapy instead of couple therapy, which is great, she sounded aware of what she did, how the husband and the relationship could be unfixable forever, she is starting to accept it and is trying to be the best person she can for him and the child. She's ready for the possibility in case he decides to get a divorce. They had a Valentine's date where she did everything for him, apparently succeeding in doing so since he smiled and laughed after a long time. She stopped "forcing him" to have sex, understanding that she was practically assaulting him, thanks to the helpful comments on the subreddit threads. Besides that, we don't have any more updates, in my opinion what she did is absolutely unforgivable and unforgettable, he's broken, his trust and his affection were destroyed and he might never recover from that, but she's doing her best to let him open up and decide what's best, without letting her emotions interfering, which is a redeeming behaviour.
Thanks for the update!
I had to watch twice to realize the affair partner was a woman. I do hope that they work it out. I cheated on my wife many times. Once she caught me and an affair partner in our own bed. I was stupid and never cheated again. She decided she wanted me in her life and we stayed together for 27 years when she passed away.
As for her dressing up and looking all sexy the way he likes to go out on a "girl's night" and being surprised he was upset is being totally clueless. Imagine if the husband came home and said he slow danced to "our song" with another woman and expecting her to be happy about it. That's kind of the equivalent. Yup, I hate to say I did that many years ago and believe me it didn't go well. It took over 10 years for her to dance with me to "our song" again.
She probably won’t ever get forgiven. And no matter what she puts into the relationship, that isn’t up to her. It’s up to the man she wronged. It’s nice that she is trying to take accountability and I see a world where they can eventually get to a better place. But even if they don’t, I have an inkling of respect for the effort she is putting into it. Since we aren’t seeing his perspective, I believe he is putting in just as much effort to not leave and to not show how much he despises his situation. That’s why he’s so broken. He’s emotionally exhausted wearing that mask. Sad situation all around. End of the day: Don’t cheat
Husband most likely divorced her given how in her last post she said how his demeanor changed completely when they were alone and she noted how it was very much a possibility. Coupled with the fact that she dropped off completely from updating the situation (mentioned in a couple of comments how she wished to go to couples therapy in a subreddit designed to help affair partners so the lack of update is "concerning"). Which if so, good for him, regardless of the progress in therapy, she's a terrible person. Not just the cheating but the SA frankly repulses me. That or OP is no longer with us which if that's the case, i only really bad for the daughter.
You can’t redeem that kind of behaviour. 😂🤷🏼♂️
Cheating while you're pregnant is horrific. Definitely worse than cheating when not pregnant.
She put the baby at risk of an STI
Yeah that's unforgivable. You'd have to be a vile, disgusting person to do that I'd get a DNA test. Honestly she's lucky he didn't mentally snap and that man will have a trust wound until the day he dies.
Is it just me or did she cheat on him with a woman?
@@jebes909090According to her, yes. The husband has no knowledge of whether that was the only person she cheated with.
Both are horrific in their own right there isn't comparisons to be had. One is giving every man worst nightmare by thinking it was your child but realising years later that it is not. and the other is endangering your potential baby life their both vile and horrible.
If she loved her husband and actually regretted her actions, she would get a divorce agreement drafted that gives her not a single cent so this man can begin to heal. But I don't think a cheating woman has ever done that in the history of divorces. That's because they're not sorry at all. Ever.
She would also need to hand over custodial parenthood over to him, and then maybe could have joint custody if he felt like it.
Also because for some fking reason, you can be a disgusting parasite that ruins your marriage and STILL get half. The court system is broken af
My ex did. I told her I would cut everything in half while livestreaming it while explaining what she did to everyone who knew us. She valued her reputation. So she walked away. I let her keep her car, clothes and whatever furniture she wanted. I kept full custody of the kids, house my pensions and retirement. She told everyone what an abusive monster I was but I didnt care. When we got to court the judge asked her are you sure this is what you want? And she said yes.
Women fight via reputation destruction. If you want to defeat a woman, thats how you go after her. You just fight her like a woman. Men need to really understand this.
@@worndown8280 recording my sons mother(wife/split) admitting to cheating was a golden idea by me to favor myself in court if i had to go into action to prove point.
@@worndown8280Greatest advise ever. Most women I'm sure shamed you and said your not a real man right? That's what a lot of them do.
The way he reacted show how much of a logical and family oriented person he is.
People like him are hard to gain trust, and even harder to regain it.
The marriage is already over and your husband is just hanging in for the one person he loves most in the world, his daughter. When you cheat on your man you go from being his woman to everyone's woman. You are not the same person in his eyes anymore and you never will be the woman he fell in love with ever again. If you truly love him and want him to be happy then give him a divorce that favors him, give him unlimited access to his child and let him keep his money and possessions. That is all you can do because the man you love is gone forever and the very best thing you can do for him is set him free to find a woman who won't wipe her ass with her marriage vows.
True that.
Smart one
Well said!
I’ve been cheated on by a long term girlfriend before, and I can confirm, once you find out, it’s like a veil has been lifted from that woman and you cannot see them the same. It’s like they were covered in a beautiful shroud that you thought was that person, only to find out once it’s been lifted the hideous monster that hid underneath….
I tried staying with her for almost another full year after she cheated, and it was just never the same. Anytime I wasn’t with her I couldn’t trust what she was doing, or if she was where she said she was. It made me paranoid and miserable. I vowed never to take back a cheater ever again. You get one chance with my trust and that’s it.
Nothing else needs to be said your are absolutely right!
She broke him emotionally, and yet still wants him to love her, never seeming to realize he wasn't staying for her sake, but for their daughter. It is almost sad that she doesn't seem to realize that he hasn't forgiven her. That he is in fact *forcing* himself to be there.
this forgiveness thing? it's not a conscious decision.
Even if the mind wills it, if the heart does not buy it...
he's trying to forgive her.
but he can't.
and it's not his fault.
The woman he married and the woman he is married to now are not the same person in his mind. Even if he forgives her, he knows now he can never truest her, which doesn't lend itself to a stable relationship.
@@johnbox271 This is exactly what my mom said when dad cheated on her. She said she "felt sorry" for him because he seems to be "trying". But after the betrayal, it will always loom at the back of her mind how the partner she thought she could entrust her whole life to can actually betray her on a whim. So simply and so easily.
It's so frustrating to watch my own parents be in that kind of situation, but I know it's an issue between them. I am in no position to dictate what two grown people should do with their relationship no matter how stupid and toxic it has become.
You think that's bad? She about to wreck his life in a divorce because he's not forgiving her the right way. He's fucked.
@@peterharrell7305only if he allows himself to be. Keep in mind that she put herself into a fairly vulnerable position.
She has to accept the fact that she is just the mother of his child.
After she cheated he said he loves her the most, but she didn't say that to him. That's how you don't make up for a mistake. By her tone and actions, it is clear she doesn't really regret the cheating, she just wants to calm her conscience and avoid the coincidences.
"he used to say he couldn't fall asleep without me, to the point where he was away on his business trips, he would call me at night so I could talk to him as he fell asleep."
I felt a fucking spear going through me. I'm literally him. I almost cried on that part lol
But I thought he was cheating while on his business trips? 🤔 Her work friend was so sure
@@347JimmyAnd he didn't. He stated that.
@@pootispow3232 I think he's just pointing out how silly it is that she was convinced he was cheating by her coworker, when calls like that were happening regularly while he was away
That was the worst. How could she be convinced he was cheating at that point.
@@ricoarmstrong7440 Maybe she wanted to believe it as an excuse to cheat
What really told me this poor man's mental state was the demand for a paternity test and this idiot didn't even realize it... this woman gets a female affair partner while pregnant, and when she confesses the first thing he does is ask for a paternity test.
That, right there. He doesn't assume the child is your affair partner's. He assumes you've been cheating with whatever partner you've felt like since the very start of the marriage and maybe even before, and that your *current* affair partner happens to be female.
This man isn't still in that house for you. He's there for your daughter. And FYI, you *should* feel scummy about initiating sex with him because he's literally only doing it to placate you. You *are* forcing him to have sex in order to keep the house calm, because when he tried to just exist in the same home as you did without sleeping in the same bed you threw a fit and got mad about it (despite you saying that you "understood" he needed time).
He didn't care that you were going out. He assumed you were going out, and all he said was that he assumed you were going on a date, because that's what he assumes you've been doing since day one. Not that he was upset about it. Completely checked out of that relationship.
Great going.
And that right there is what OP needs to understand
If they'll cheat once, they likelihood they did other times goes up.
Just like if someone cheats to be with you, they will cheat ON you.
Fantastic post. Women, generally speaking, never understand because they can't empathize. They can only look at things from a woman's perspective. This man has had his entire belief system (i.e. his belief in his wife) completely destroyed, when he did everything he could to provide for his family and take care of his wife. This man will probably never recover from this betrayal (shown by the fact that he's staying with her and even allowing her to..."take advantage of him" in the bedroom. OF COURSE he doesn't finish, he doesn't even want to be there! She's lucky he can get erect at all).
Ye
This is spot on! It's ironic that women don't understand this because they keep repeating they are very social and have more moral social skills than men.
This is so sad to me. As someone who was cheated on by my ex wife(I left afterwards), this hits so close to home. What’s the most sad to me is that if women(men too but IMO what I’m about to say is mostly a women problem) could just take full accountability of their mistake instead of looking for a scapegoat or making it about THEIR guilt, it could be a forgivable offense with time and if you care about the person enough. In my case, she really made it all about how devastating her mistake was to HER….when I was the one hurting and had my whole world turned upside down. Unimaginably selfish.
I know this is an old comment but I thought I'd just chip in. My ex gf - when she cheated on me hid behind the excuse (among MANY) that she wasn't treating me the way I deserved so that's why. Bit of a self defeating/fulfilling mentality to have. She still to this day refuses to admit the truth, despite it being revealed by numerous sources.
Whats the truth @@Garthorium
@@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259 That she was cheating for most of my time with her and her family admitted it.
That’s how narcissists work
You guys are at fault too. Honestly if you guys said you need a career to support the marriage to feel secure in the first place, they would not cheat probably. Either they leave on good terms, or they stay to support you. The cheating only occurs if you are also did not communicate properly. A month or 2, yeah, maybe the guy was not careful and didn't communicate openly about his reassurances and confidence boosts. Several months? Yeah this guy messed up.
She really said “how do I fix this”. When you break a man to that extent there is no fixing anything.
Step one, don't f other people. Step 2, invent time travel and go teach past you this new sacred knowledge
@@RobertMorgan THATS GENIUS
Yeah, the question that should have been asked is "How do I NOT BREAK this?"
She needs to take Kevin Samuels advice......."Be Reincarnated!"
Unless he's a simp
4:25 you won’t get him back and he should’ve left the very second he found out you cheated. Every minute he stays there he is weakening himself.
It’s not about him, the reason he asked for a paternity test was to see if he’d stay or leave. He is only there for the kid and to prevent him from growing up in a broken home and around people who may not have his best interests in mind. He’s sacrificing his happiness for his child. People underestimate just how damaging it can be for children to grow up in broken homes, and if you’re able to put on a brave face for the kids and not be agressive or resentful of your spouse in front of them it’s usually the better option for the kids. We’ve just become used to prioritizing ourselves above all others.
Her best option is to put her all into raising the kid. He would appreciate that more than her trying to act like nothing ever happened
@@agx8447You're right. That dad is truly being a hero.
@@agx8447exactly. I would stay to if I had a child
@@agx8447Yep
He’s thinking which of your “friends” you’ve played carpet munching games with before… nobody is safe to him anymore.
You lost your husband the moment you shared a bed with someone else.
Indeed
I would like to change that just a little bit:
"You lost your husband the moment you shared your *body* with someone else."
@@Amenimunhe stayed. For his own sake and his daughter’s sake he needs to fix the heart she admittedly broke or that kid and he is going to have a terrible life. It’s not that she is owed it, it’s that he is. He is staying he can either torture himself, the kid and her, baring any more betrayals from her, or leave.
Him figuring out what he needs from her can help him work on building his marriage back if that is what he wants. He is in pain and should be. He also made the decision to stay. He needs to know what he needs to try and trust her again and to eventually forgive her or no one is happy. It’s not my marriage to fix. He was trying to I think but he is still hurting they need professional help to fix what SHE broke. A Christian concept is forgiveness is a gift you give yourself not always the other person. I have sympathy for this woman because she was weak, but I keep thinking about the husband living in constant suffering and their kid. If he did leave it would be 100% her fault, she stepped out. She can only do so much without his help to fix what she broke.
@@culturewarsdiplomacy i'ld say by the way he treated the child in this he loves and cares for his daughter, but what people are failing to see is that if he divorces his wife a chain of thing will happen. One the wife will end up with their daughter due to him not having time to care for her due to work and two due to this he will end up paying his cheat of an ex-wife child support to look after their daughter and finally three he would see his daughter alot less because most likely mother and daughter would move to another place after the divorce. he has quite clearly checked out with his wife as it is, he staying because he wants to be in his daughters life as much as possible.
"I'm so sad that this horrible betrayal i committed against him traumatized him to a level where he's no more fun for me to be around"
Cheating is one of those things that changes a relationship forever. Like a broken mirror - it can never look the same again, even if you try your best to put it back together.
OP needs to face facts; she cheated on her husband. Cutting her affair partner out of her life doesn't change that, and it's going to have a major impact on the marriage that may never fully heal. The reason husband clocked out of the marriage is because now he realizes it's fragile and vulnerable - she can hardly blame him for that.
OP needs to accept she's damaged her marriage, perhaps beyond repair. No amount of cooking, prettying yourself up, etc. is going to fix that. If she truly wants to save her marriage, then the only thing I can think of for it would be marriage counseling - otherwise, husband is only sticking around for their kid and has removed all emotional investment from her, and her attempts to forcibly change his behavior will not only not remind him he loves her, but make him resent her. If he wants his space, give it to him. If he pulls away even more after that, well, it just means it was already over.
Well said brother
I would add that the girls night out was a pretty bad call by her. "I'm dressing for me." Yeah, right.
@@kampar82 Especially since she cheated on him with a woman, so there's no hetero reassurance.
@@MynameisBrianZX agreed
Talk to his friends not family I know that's a pretty fucked and stupid thing to say but if bro had friends then they're prolly ya next best thing to seek advice or help from. And if he has a brother or close sister which would definitely cause uproar but as long as you're truthful and honest about your regret they might be willing to look past some small parts by the cheating. They'll definitely hate you but they'll more definitely want to see their brother or friend happy again and sadly there's a chance it's over and ya need to resort to divorce because what was his happiness had now already been violated and no longer a place or person or etc. He can cherish anymore as his joy
Here's how to fix the relationship. First, you're gonna need make-up. Lots and lots of make-up, preferably white. Get a red nose and potentially a rainbow afro wig to go with it and show him, since clearly the relationship is a joke if they're willing to cheat
Facts
Hahaha loved this comment 🤣🤣🤡
Tell me you've never been in a relationship without telling me you've never been in a relationship 😂
I love that you proposition girls to build a life around you but if they ever so much as give an errant handy in lust, you'll consider them pariahs. Good luck with such a powerful and enduring love! 😂
You pressure someone in monogamy, don't complain if they cheat.
Same as if you buy drugs from a dealer, don't complain if you od bc they changed the dosage.
What a pathetic love that has to rely on state financial/legal/sexual contracts, ie prostitution.
@@harnessriscallous7466
Are you mentally unwell or something?
@@jasonfurumetarualkemisto5917 can you read? Rebut? Or are you actually the one unable to form a response to something, and lashing out with vague "mentally well" references?
Tell me, how many times do you orgasm a day? If you'd like to posture about relationships, do you have the balls to state the intimate details of yours?
Women's best friends are some of the biggest causes of failed relationships. I've had that happen to me multiple times. You can always tell. If she comes home from hanging out with her bEsTiE and is short with you, all her friend did was try to convince her that you're trash. Women will always hold the opinion of a friend on a higher pedestal than you could ever reach.
I've been this guy except I told my ex wife I was leaving and didn't put up with her cheating. That relationship will never be the same. It took me about 4 days to realize her apologies meant absolutely nothing to me and I could never again be emotionally invested in her. 13 years later and we talk friendly and coparent our son but I have zero regrets about leaving and respecting myself.
This man is staying for the kid.
Do you believe that guy is not respecting himself? Or that in this situation he had no choice?
@@rafaelgabrielgarlinidal-bo9496 He isn't respecting himself. He thinks the only way to be in his daughter's life is to keep the cheating bitch at home.
I'm a woman and I'm so sick of my gender always pushing the blame to someone else it's infuriating
Plenty of men do the exact same thing. Shitty people will always blame others for their own shitty actions, regardless of gender.
All you can really do is make sure that you yourself are not one of those people.
Hrt and surgery can fix that
It's really not gender specific anymore, man. The whole victim-blaming cycle is just a gauntlet of abuse, coming from either side.
Honestly people are shitty not just one gender. Call her what she is. Terrible
thats what happens if women dont face any real consequences. Bring back the at-fault marriage, abolish any and all forms of spousal support, make his money and assets 100% safe if he initiates divorce.
And see women will change their ways, promptly.
2:51 she's clueless. Absolutely clueless. She ruined it,not him.
He's only staying because he knows she only quit her job for leverage to screw him out of more alimony in the case of divorce.
Yeah. She has totaly screwed this poir dude. Not only is she unemployed, but she basicaly made herself the picture if a perfect wife and mother. So she gets alimony, half or more of his shit, and most likely full costody if she is spiteful enough. And cosidering how she is acting, yelling at him and shit, i wouldnt doubt she could and woud screw him over in court.
thats when you play the long game : stay until the kid is 18.
then leave the country and leave her stranded. Good luck getting a divorce or allimony going to someone who went off the radar and restarted new in another country with a new name. Lots of nice countries where its not hard to do.
@@voidroadOr another long game where he
- at first encourages his wife to get a job
- transfer all his wealth to someone he could trust, maybe parents or a sibling
- somehow "lose" his job and become a stay at home dad
- maintain unemployment for a time of 6-7 months and divorce
He'd be awarded with alimony/maintenance + high chance of custody considering he's a stay at home parent, moreover this will serve as great revenge to OP
Yeah she did that on purpose.
Yes, it would not be easy for him to have custody when he's away for long periods due to his work.
I remember a time after i found out my ex cheated on me,after a few months i bought a gaming computer and moved it into the spare bedroom where i started spending all my free time getting high and playing games like i used to do,and one time i got up and went to the bathroom without her noticing and i heard her having a conversation with her mother and she literally said "i dont understand he just sits back there and plays video games all day,its like we are just room mates now"
Most women I dated can't admit fault. Maybe it says more about me than about them but that's my personal experience.
They just take all their feelings as something absolute and shameless so if she's cheating on you that's just a part of her and you better move on or don't expect any sign of real remorse or regret.
@@Iwmar The women of today grow up on a bunch of different influences. Most aren't in control of their emotions and don't understand the difference between love and loyalty. Also with more mentally unstable people than ever before it's like trying to get through a mine field unscathed. Liars, narcissists, and so many other shades of terrible are all out there floating around. I'm fortunate, and my wife and I can't even fathom trying to navigate dating waters today. People forget that marriage is like a business as well. You want to keep it trending up and keep your losses to a minimum. People don't treat it like that though and you can see the outcome with how high divorce rates are.
@@lodunost We are the same. If something happened to her I don't think I'd ever find another like her, not even remotely.
@@lodunostThere's no difference in the men or women of yesterday and today. This is a common misconception.
We are literally the same. So stop going from that reference point immediately.
@@BlueRidgeBubble There is a huge difference in values and environment. There is no misconception, unless you're talking about genetically. Point to me some academic literature with scientific backing supporting your statement. There are innumerable studies done on outside influences and their behaviors.
Here is one. THE MONSTER STUDY carried out on kids. I invite you to read that and tell me that the influences have no bearing on people. We can look at every trend today from marriage to graduation rate and trend that shit and see a very real impact from the very foundation or lack thereof provided to the people in society today. There is a reason.
When you use the word, "literally" you let every person know that you exhibit lolcow low IQ cognition and are unable to read, speak, or have an original opinion. You sound like Cyraxx the lolcow when using the word. Or even articulate a sentence with proper syntax and grammar. If you take the word, "literally" then it would be a correct sentence. See the blue line that should appear under it. Yeah, that is a clue that you should investigate. I thought maybe you were a troll but looking at your comment history and seeing some of it you're a buffoon.
US millennial women saw their mental health decline, per non-profit PRB.
US millennial women Homicide, maternal mortality, and suicide rates have all increased for women aged 25 to 34.
To be clear, instances of infidelity increase with age in both men and women. But according to information gathered by the General Social Survey (GSS), millennial women are the only ones who manage to actually outdo the guys. Direct from google on millennial women.
and the list goes on it's there for you to see on the interwebs. Use Google, Qwant, or any other search engine to noodle through it.
Trust is the most fragile and valuable thing you will ever have in your life if you ever have it at all...once broken it can never really be restored, not ever. This man's love for his wife was based on an innocent trust that he was sure of, it can never be the same again. I've been there myself.
The only reason OP isn't a single mother right now is because her husband knows he would get screwed in divorce court. He'd lose his home, lose time with his child, and be on the hook for child support and alimony. It's cheaper to stay married to the cheater until daughter is 18. OP being all shocked Pikachu when her husband doesn't trust her and expects her to cheat again. Like duh. What did you expect girlie? Lol. I wouldn't be surprised if OP's husband used a 'business trip' as an excuse to get a secret vasectomy. No more kids for OP, less time trapped in a loveless marriage for OP's husband.
Yeah but why would he need a vasectomy??? It's not like he's sleeping around. And he's not sleeping with her. She said that he never finished. And that pretty much says it all for me. That marriage is over in his mind. Poor guy. But hey, she said that her affair was with a woman. So it's not like Tyrone pumped her full of his seed.
@@gregorylyon1004 Just in case. This way if he does someday have contact with her, it lowers the chance of pregnancy. He might not always have a condom or be able to convince her to use one.
@@gregorylyon1004doesn't matter who she steps out for, all that matters is you use the time where she believes you are trying to forgive, to slowly destroy everything she is as a human being. Make her feel disgusting. Out her to friends and family in passing. Make light of her attempts to get attention. When you know she's listening, sit in a dark room alone and whisper about how much you hate her to yourself, they walk out smile and give her a kiss.
Make her know horror.
Idk why people break their spouse who's faithful then expect them to function normally anymore
It is terrifying to countenance the complete and utter absence of empathy some people have.
This woman is a monster.
At the beginning she says he was never around. Then talks about how he called every night and always took her out…
The woman has zero awareness that dressing up the way her husband USED to like and doing her hair the way he USED to like, while going out without him is a huge red flag to him. Then she gets upset with him for being untrustworthy. The nerve of this woman.
You reap what you sow, and the only reason he hasn’t left is because the system would screw him over with child support and not being able to see his daughter. She is a horrible woman, I feel for the husband and hopefully he can move on without her. If you don’t want to be with the person you are married to anymore, leave, never cheat
Yea that part made no sense. She dressed up sexy to go out without him and expects him to not think she's going to cheat again? 😂
Her : goes behind his back and cheats.
Also her: i can't believe he thinks I'd go behind his back and cheat.
She's not devoted, she's overcompensating.
So all she had to do was wear him down. What little self respect he had is gone. She could go cheat all she wanted and he wouldn't go anywhere. It's a win win for her.
He's just there for the kid.
If he leaves, she can take all his money... he's essentially being hostage by the courts
But if shes proven to have cheated isnt that null and void? @firefly9838
@@funbarsolaris2822 Perhaps only at a state which recognises fault
@@dragoneyr1632Even then.. in most cases all it does is reduce it, not get rid of it entirely.
Oh now, she's the victim. Hahaha
Funny how that works right?
Women ☕️
Well, she is the victim, a victim actually.
The victims are everyone: the daughter, the husband, the wife.
The perpetrator? Yeah, the wife.
She ruined everyone and she ruined herself.
@@kathhound1 ☕
Proof women can be the bad guy and still act like they shouldn't be held accountable
“I just want my husband back”
Well congratulations, you’ve fucked that option. You deserve all of this
No, she can't have what she really deserves because what she deserves is a quick divorce with zero rights over anything and no custody as well as she would never sign that and the "justice" system won't do justice.
We all know posting a skewed version om reddit playing her action as "a slip" should be enough for her to repent and we all know if her husband were acting as if nothing happened she would nust do it again and her wo faced "respect" for him would become sincere disgust and no reddit posts would be made.
“I started cooking for him” why is this always a thing like cooking for someone is a big deal? The way some women talk about cooking is like they’ve climbed Everest to pick a flower or something.
I cook for my spouse all the time because… We need to eat. What’s the big deal? They act as if it’s so demeaning to cook for someone else, if you need food just cook and shut up.
Which means that she wasn't doing it before. Which means that she knew it was something he would have appreciated all along, but she refused to do it until she screwed up so bad that she felt no choice but to put on an act in order to placate him. Like cooking is supposed to make up for you breaking your wedding vows and betraying your husband. If I were the husband seeing her do all that now after the cheating would make me feel sick, I would view it as an insult almost.
I dont get it either. My gf likes to cook for me despite her generally not enjoying to cook. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy it even more when I can cook for her.
I work shifts, she works a normal job from monday to friday so we generally take turns in cooking depending on who has a day off or more freetime that day.
I don't really get how some people, especiall, women see it as demeaning or "slavery".
When I lived alone, I had to cook everyday myself, so did my gf.
Now we do it on days with spare time while we get a home cooked meal on our most busy days.
End result is basically less work and stress for both of us and more freetime.
Really can't stand that feminist BS anymore. Someone has to make food and when you are in a relationship, you can optimize it and have the one qith more spare time in the day cook.
Because feminism ruined healthy relationships by calling normal wife behavior as toxic or patriarchy or whatever the current buzz word is
@@abbiereynolds8016indeed, I'd rather have a faithful wife than one that cooks
Typical narcissistic behavior. "I did something I shouldn't have, causing possibly irreparable damage to my relationship, but you're making me feel bad about it or I just generally don't like the way you're acting now, so it's your fault"
I want to know what gives them confidence to tell everyone how scummy they are online.
They have convinced themselves it’s someone else’s fault, I know I cheated but it’s because she made me feel wanted, why can’t he trust me that I’d never cheat……..again
That and they think there's a magic forgive and forget method out there
It's desperation, not confidence.
When women do something disgusting, they start mentioning their feelings and vulnerability and then suddenly it's all okay.
Anonymity
0:25 the way she pretends “seeing him for only a couple days per month” is an excuse for cheating…🤣
Yes, it's pathetic
Why where they even together
She should be happy her cheating didn’t turn her into a statistic
Think of it as "your husband is gone and you have to accept it"
Nothing makes a man more chipper than his spouse cheating on him. Really makes you look forward to every day knowing that the only option is divorce meaning that you won't get to see your child and you now have to pay the person who ruined the relationship. This woman is clueless among her other toxic behaviors.
If she ment it, she would tell him he could opt for full custody and she swears, and will sign for it, to be exempt from even a single penny of alimony. that would be a fair start.
This is a Reddit post. While instances like this happen, most that are from Reddit are made up or exaggerated scenarios that are reposted into channels like this to earn views and subscriptions for opinionated folks who are hungry for some anonymous 'tea'. In a few years or so, this channel's title and content will change because it has garnered enough viewer engagement and will most likely get sold to a company or to some ambitious content creator. Basically the cycle of YT channels and their strategies.
Oh there is another options that allows you to keep your children and stuff. *cough* accident *cough* lol joking 😂
@@vqbl795 yes, yes, of course. Only stories that are real are when woman is the victim, right? :V
He wouldn’t lose the kid in court. 90% of ALL cases, mom gets main custody which is true. HOWEVER that includes cases where dad doesn’t show up at court at all. In cases where the dad DOES show up and try to get custody guess what? Dads win in 60% of those cases. So more often than moms. This guy would be fine in court.
Funny how cheaters throw themselves into being the best partner EVER, only after cheating…
It's not cheating it's guilt
Narcissists need constant admiration from wherever they can get it. Her husband was busy, so she found it in an affair. Then he becomes distant from her and she's imploding. If I had to bet, it's only a matter of time before she does it again.
"I confronted him about a year ago" what psychotic thing to say.
I don’t advise staying with someone who cheated, but, if you do, make sure they give you a full confession on video with details. This isn’t for blackmail or extortion. It is for your protection. It is critical that you have hard evidence of her cheating in case reconciliation fails and she tries to drag your name through the mud.
what do you expect him to do i bet if he tries to take the kid with him he might lose the kid because the law really against men if you are the good father and you want to take good care of your kid but the mother wont allow this she most of the time will win and take the kid away from you
he must have felt like baby trapped with this women
because im sure he would like to not be with his wife but he cant do anything
most of the times even evidents wont allow you to take the kid to live with you
That’s not a bad idea.
@@georgegorvaniagerge7077Well you did say a lot of bull considering in reality men don't even file for joint custody most of the time. You ca look it up. When there's cases of a r@pist being given rights over a r@p3 baby.
@@SA-ey6nt if a man file for custtody their stuff might end up being taken by their wifes
and not to say this but mostly women are the one who does this even when their family is totaly fine and good because they arent losing anything by it
for them its just win if they dont want to be with their husband
but for the husband who loves his family and has to fight so he wont lose his children
if he tries to to divorse her he might lose his kid and he dosent want his kid to be without a father
@@georgegorvaniagerge7077 You're continuing with the bull. It's evident you don't understand the laws in NO way? Why are you explaining to me things that aren't reality? "If a man files for custody his stuff might end up being taken" WRONG. Very much not reality. "The women are the ones doing this even when everything's good and totally fine" 😂😂 Really? You cannot be serious. Educate yourself! Because how do you expect anybody to take you seriously when you sound like a brainwashed zombie?
That last line. He's not gonna come back. Maybe if you can build a time machine but in this timeline, it ain't happening
I will never understand people who cheat because “I almost never see them because of work 🥺”
Like do you really think your partner WANTS to be away from you so often? No, they don’t. Just talk to your partner about the work schedule and get support from family and friends. Making the conscious decision to cheat instead of communicating and finding support is extremely telling.
And most of the time, they are working hard now to provide financial stability later. It's called being smart.
Only extremely selfish, immature and self centered people think like that.
People have physical and emotional needs. Not justifying anything.
@@loonneye Indeed, and most of the time, it's women neglecting that in the relationship.
Its even worse because she WANTED to. "She convinced me he was cheating on me." Bitch YOU are the one in the relationship and know him better. YOU told us he misses you so much he will call just to fall asleep to your fucking voice. She for the streets.
His face melted...
Yeah, finding out your entire life is over AND it caught an innocent kid in the collateral damage, yeah, then realizing your kid probably isn't yours then, you're lucky he didn't self-violence himself
The man is so distraught that he asked for paternity test when the affair partner was female. He basically is wondering how many partners there have been now
@@mudyaocause all cheaters are whores !!!
Imagine if the wife never mentioned that she plays for both teams before. Then the husband would obviously make some assumptions. 1. What if she is lying about the affair partner being a woman so I won’t suspect that the kid isn’t mine? 2. If the affair partner is really a woman what if my wife plays both teams because she isn’t ready or doesn’t want to come out? 3. If she is really a lesbian what if she never wanted me but instead she just wanted a “ normal life “ so she wouldn’t be judged by say her traditional parents for example? 2 and 3 kinda similar but you get the point.
As a man who was nothing but a loving father, caring husband and sole provider for 2 cheating ex wives... you don't get him back. He's dead, move on.
its astonishing how often she can blame him...
Its always easier to blame the other one, rather than looking for the fault on herself. It's easy to find out what kind of a person someone is, when they make a mistake. Do they blame others, or themself for the mistake. A person with good character and wholesome integrity will not blame others if they played no meaningful part in that mistake happening.
But yeah, that man in the story will never return. She broke his trust, the only real meaningful bond they had and now she thinks she can fix it by being her normal self. Trust is like a mirror, once it breaks and even if you try to fix it, you will still see cracks.
her frustration is understandable, if not unexcusable.
after all, from her point of view: she did everything she could to fix this.
too bad that from her husband's point of view, as well from anyone with sanity and integrity: this is not fixable.
being an adult means realizing that some things... once fxcked... can never be unfccked..
Unless you truly understand this, you have no right to call yourself an adult human.
Finally a “wife cheated on me” story from the narcissist cheater’s POV. God, the mental hoops OOP jumped through to justify her cheating, and then to get pissy because hubby has stopped showering her in affection. Like what did she expect? Immediate affection and counseling? Praise because she cut off her AP? What’s done is done, OOP’s marriage is over, stbx doesn’t trust her anymore. He, at the very least sounds rational, but staying for the kid is always a bad look. Contrary to what people believe, kids know when their parents hate each other, they know their parents should split, and grow up feeling crappy because they find out they’re the reason they stayed together and miserable.
I know these stories are mostly made up but it legit pissed me off for a second that she was acting like he never gave her attention when he was too busy traveling for work, but mentions later that he'd call her just to talk until he could sleep. It made me mad because it sounded like she was holding herself accountable for the cheating at first, but then it turns out her whole motivation for cheating was just her not caring that he wanted to be with her, evidently more than she did.
>grow up feeling crappy because they find out they’re the reason they stayed together and miserable.
Imagine being left with only the wife to raise the kid. That girl would be a daddy-hating nutjob by 18 if the wife had sole custody.
@ayanithtalreign Who says the wife would be the only one raising the kid? If hes willing to stay in that household for her whose to say if he were to leave he wouldn't do everything to play his part in her life. As a kid, seeing your parents unhappy and hate each other is worse than them being separated but happy. I would know, i have friends who come from divorced households.
These are common AF in the red field... You just never seen em? Taylor the fiend is a great example of these self confessions
Where did she justify her cheating? Look up the definition for explanation then look up the definition for justification.
She's absolutely delusional if she thinks she can have him back the way it was. And he's too much of a doormat.
"after everything did he really think I'd go behind his back like that"
That's what you did last time wtf xD
Yes because in her brain “ everything “ is her taking care of the house and the baby not the cheating part.
Cheated on him with a _girl_ too? Yea, that's a done marriage. He's forcing himself to touch her in bed. Probably cant look at or trust her anymore, even when around other women. She can't just have friends either, she's shown him they're not off the table and she's willing to say yes
Yeah alotta pervy people like to think the lesbo stuff isn't all that bad, but in reality it's worse, if not almost worse. As you said, now he can't even trust that she won't cheat again with one of her "girl friends." A girls night out, even knowing 100% it's actually with her female friends and not a lie to cheat with another man, isn't a safe assurance that she likely won't be cheating on that night's outing.
It's better than the alternative for me for some reason. Over regardless but I probably wouldn't get a nauseous feeling from knowing she bumped mounds.......lol
@@logoski589 you were never an option at that point, that makes it worse
The fact that she had to quit her job because she couldn’t control herself around her coworker tells me all I need to know. Her husband needs to stop playing her “beard” & get out of that marriage. If he stays it will only be a matter of time before she messes around with another woman
Nasty woman. Actually spending time to justify her affair at the beginning boils my blood. You ruined it yourself now you gotta live with the consequences of your actions.
You wouldn't go behind his back but you're having a night out with your girls and he doesn't know anything about it until you're totally dressed up and about to head out. Funny...
Let's say she genuinely was going out with friends, and dressing like that to try and look good for him when she gets home
It ain't gonna look that way to him
Taking her at her word on this shows how completely oblivious she is to his point of view
And she ficks anything that moves !
Just from the way it's written, this girl is insane enough that I honestly believe that the real reason she didn't go out with her girlfriends is because she KNOWS she might have just decided to 'get a little action' with one of them or with some random hot guy at the club, and once he called her out on potentially doing it, she panicked at his 'figuring it out' and overcompensated by cancelling the whole thing. And then she made up the bit about "Well I had actually done my hair and wore this cute dress because its the way he likes" because if this really was for him and not literally 100% JUST FOR YOURSELF you would be doing that to take HIM on a date. Not that he'd go, but just the fact that this woman actually thought "I'll slutify myself and go out with my girlfriends then my husband I cheated on will be happy to see me get home at 3am and maybe offer to blow him or something" would be a good way to go about things? Yeah not buying it LOL.
Take the Red Pill, there is no going back!
no accountability in the first minute what so ever lmao
It's just a female thing.
cheater*@@Sg190th
She could have ended things with the other person and not told him, but she couldn't resist dumping it all on him instead of dealing with it herself.
@@JM-sl9qla hurtful truth is always better...
@@Sg190th It's a person thing.
Strong man. Keeping it together so his daughter can have a full family.
Nahhh, single men raise children better than single women... lookup the stats, it's true. Children raised by single mothers are pretty much fucked (i would know, i'm one of them... only i didn't turn out like the stats) 80% of the kids end up going to prison when raised by a single mother, but nearly all of the children raised by a single father do just as well as if they had both parents. Short story short, women just suck... not hating on em, just saying the objective truth of the matter
This is the brutal thing about having an affair. You break something that can't just be fixed by choice.
I applaud her for coming clean without being forced to, and for knowing what she did was wrong, and for trying so hard to show her appreciation - but when trust is so terribly broken, theres just not much that can be done.
"I gave him time to deal with everything snd then I confronted him" Good GOD the entitlement of this broad
It's never worth it to have an affair, it's never worth it to cheat on your partner. You don't know what you're ruining, and once destroyed, it will never be back to the way it was.
Forgiveness does not mean you're freed from consequence.
Beware anyone who ever says that it's ok if you cheat: they either don't care at all about you, or they actually wish that you be ruined.
Women actually do all wish the worst on each other deep down
Another case of « shit I have to deal with the consequences of my own choices » 😂😂😂
He has come to accept that he can't trust his wife, ever. But he has decided to stay to be with his daughter more than half the time. He makes a conscious decision, recognizes what will happen, and accepts it as the price to keep his daughter in his life. He knows she doesn't love him nor respect him, and that she eventually will cheat again. Poor guys probably half an incident away from walking out in front of a bus.
Not only that but that she doesn't love him. Hes giving her more than she deserves and shes still feeling entitled.
People will really cheat on someone then act all baffled when their partner doesn't trust them or see them as a person anymore. The truth is, you broke up with them and smashed your relationship into irreparable pieces the moment you decided to cheat.
That was definitely NOT the first time she cheated, I'm willing to bet he knew.
People like her don’t get that you can put a broken mirror back together but the cracks will always be there
This reminds me of a manga recap video on TH-cam where a young man is betrayed by five girls (and also his mother and sister who didn't at least hear him out but instead just turned their back on him). After the fifth betrayal he is completely dead to any kind of friendship and has no interest in any kind of relationship since he's sure that he will just be betrayed again. Like in the Husband in this video, he basically completely dead to any kind of feeling. Even through the girls and his mother and sister try to apologize to him, it means nothing to him.
@@Solitaire001 That is basically what happens to a person, it’s why someone’s history does matter. If you’re constantly betrayed you’re not going to trust someone easily and, at some point, not at all.
"My affair has turned my husband into a robot"
As it should have. Honestly, I dunno what she expected. Betrayal just does that to a person and I don't really know if it could be fixed. Everyone is different, but in any case, once lost, trust is very hard to regain.
Woman logic is wild af.
Ah yes. The consequences of your own actions.
Man away earning a living to support the family. Woman cheat because bored and other guys hot. Man finds out, relationship broken. Woman most affected.
A tale literally older than the modern world.
The lack of accountability is real with this one...
You cheated
You broke the trust
You forced intimacy he wasn’t ready for after the affair to make yourself feel better.
Good on you for coming clean, but if you were worth being with there would have been nothing to admit.
He is staying for the sake of the child, not your feelings. He stays close to the baby because that is the last proof he has that you were EVER a loyal partner.
YOUtraumatized HIM and then you didn’t give HIM space to heal because YOU were uncomfortable. If the roles were reversed hiw would you feel in his situation? Your lack of empathy for what he might be going through emotionally right now is the problem.
dont forget... she left her job so he is fucked if he divorces her :D
When she said he doesn't even finish when they bed wrestle, i was actually shocked. I think any man out there knows how incredibly hard that is when you're with someone who's attractive. He is literally dead inside, there is nothing there anymore.
Tbh, you can't get him back, he's had like alot of men b4 him, been broken, I've experienced it myself, when u put ur all Into a relationship just to b betrayed, it's literally like having all the blood an air being drained from ur heart, it feels completely empty and lifeless, we can't control it, it just happens when we go thru such a heart break that we don't ever wanna care again, bcoz when they cared an did what they thought was right an what society says is right, they were proven wrong and made to look like a fool
Its crazy that the first 40 seconds are nothing but excuses and reasons for her affair before she puts the blame on the person having the affair. Some people really have 0 shame.
That's the most telling part about all these stories from the cheating woman's perspective. There aren't many we get to see from this POV, but one thing literally every single one, WITHOUT FAIL, has in common, is their immediately justification for the initial betrayal, and/or immediate painting it in a light of how it was their boyfriend/fiance/husband's fault 'if you really think about it'.
It actually makes it worse when you understand this, because it means that these either clueless, stupid, delusional or outright evil women, who are sure it's not even their fault, are posting stories like these because they WANT the attention and for people to agree with them and for this example tell them "Yeah girl you shouldn't be punished for one little mistake, I don't know why he's being so rude and cold to you after all you did was cheat on him, you apologized, it's a mistake we could all make, you should probably divorce him because he's being so mean" but then they find out that even redditors have a limit to this bullshit.
Couple therapy. This is beyond internet advise.
Only one thing can be said: "What the fuck did you expect"
This woman doesn’t get it, as a guy (and im assuming for most women) this is the highest form of betrayal, you killed his love for you, he wont ever trust you again, you can’t “fix” it because there is nothing to fix, when you say “i feel like im forcing him to do it with me” its because its not a feeling, you are forcing him, he is around you only because of his daughter and whatever other reasons there may be for him to be forced to stay, you have no right to feel frustrated at him and what you dont really get is that he most likely doesn’t care if you’re frustrated.
Apathy is a stone cold, hard, ruthless bitch and you made him part of her.
Apathy is HIS new mistress.
This. This is exactly what i was thinking
I just think of a line from a lumineers song… “the opposite of love is indifference.” It would be so much worse for someone to just not have any feeling towards you than hate you. I think this story exemplifies it. She deserves it and I feel bad for the husband.
"And you made him part of her" doesn't make sense to me. Otherwise, well said, yup.
@@Reblwitoutacause its a reference to a quote saying the opposite of love is indifference, meaning he doesnt care about her.
Amazing how in hindsight, the wife can recount all the ways her husband treated her well BEFORE she convinced herself that he was sneaking around with other women while away on business.
Granted, his career was not helpful to his marriage, but I mean, that's no excuse for what she did.
And she has no right to play the victim role at this point.
How does she get back her husband?
Don't think she can un-f*ck her co-worker, so she probably can't un-f*ck her marriage.
Facts !
Cheaters think they're entitled to forgiveness and that love can be regained if they are sincere enough, even if it takes a decade.
Let me just be real here: distancing yourself from further affairs are not a reason for someone to love you. Relationships are not a game that can be reset on a whim, once their love for you hits 0 you won't even be able to regain 1/10th of what used to be.
You are entitled to what someone tells you they’re going to do. If he didn’t want to forgive her, he shouldn’t have said he would. If he couldn’t get over it, that’s his problem for lying.
@@MinisterManDan He probably DID want to forgive her. As someone who has been through the bullshit, trust me, it's not as cut and dry as you are making it out to be.
@@MinisterManDanwell she said she would be a faithful wife when she got married, Sounds like she lied too. If your spouse cheats you owe them nothing
@@MinisterManDanwell that is her problem for lying during her wedding vows she should accept whatever she gets or do the honorable thing and leave him with his daughter, money and possessions and she can have visitation rights