I just barely found you. 2 weeks ago in the 5 yrs of getting on Google play searching self help self love finding self I really need help I know my time is nearing end not bought roo n here to say the many reasons I'm well aware that it's true in the next 6 months I will die m I'm a sinner I can't seem to forgive n forget I talk too 4whit3 walks but truly am praying to Jesus almost every day all day but l do is keep saying the past over n over I don't have a life he put me down Christ did or God 6 yrs ago I thought my own will I couldn't be bed bound no way not me I found drugs meth n heroin or meth and fentanyl would give me the energy and mask most of the pain at least make it manageable do for 6 yrs it's what I. Done God mfs it very clear at this point he didn't want me doing those things and he needed to gone to a point where everyone I know ruined my life around me left me she'll of nothingness I moved in with my 69 yr old aunt in California from Utah going 4 months ago for the 2nd time I drive myself nuts 7 ga:r ADHD addiction and OCD and after spending a 6yrs needing others help to cook clean do my errands help me pay my way In life I learned that when you do finally ask for help people starting attitude Andi try to hold in my anger or whatever when hey ness up or when they purposefully are out to make me miserable I keep it I. Bottles up I might get a lil loud I ago her to leave walk out then I can't she stands n forces me to get louder per say.. after a few min of me lightly saying please just go please that time out thing u know it's hard I'm (living right now dying with bed bugs around me in my apt she is I denial I had then skipped into my skin back they're way up inside and disappear time and again after fighting hard with tweezers to yank then out of my face my breasts legs abdomen but next thing I know I have a different kind in me is well and they just simply somehow meld into my skin. They have hatched babies I have them sting me stab me bite me from the inside outta everywhere my health has gone down hill o have hadpart of my butt hole start coming out when I feel like I need go number 2 mostly nothing ever comes out but gas n then I can at times feel things moving you in they're I had 7 pill bottles full of toilet n bugs from different parts of my body toon them to UCLA I have no idea what they did with the box I brought with all of them I. It the next thing I know after them taking blood giving IV fluid temp n tivan which knocked me out I was wok to being released I tried asking they pushed me out the door told me I'd seen the Dr and and psychiatrist and the diagnosis was addiction. Psychosis they send me back home to be surrounded by these things to have no help n that made it easier for my aunt to dismiss me and the issues I deal with[h 24/7 with I've been an addict of one thing or another since I was 12 n I've tried so many times to get sober I loo. Back n think what was wrong with me because once became the main additiction I get physically sick without it even on a opioid blocking medicatios that I have prescribed pain doesn't goes it's only worse than it ever was I am driven mad all day n night they jump around they not like the Internet said at all they are all over my room my bed I see black images wither humping or flying popping all over the place I go right to where I'd seen it happen cant see them but they're are plenty of black thing on top of the carpet clutched on they'll release when they decide no matter's what I do to try to vaccum with a high instistu knocking uv light hand held vaccine they don't come up some of the other ones have I pulled the o[get kind out of up my hurt 2 large very large I my pop around them they can produce what look like human hair as feelers and it turns on time in what like a copper wire if I've happened to find them n try to p-t different chemicals to see what light kill those off I haven't found a solution 1 so to try now to be at one and silent I'm finding very very hard I never could meditate I ont know how visualize I can't stand being alone because all I do is talk to myself n God or sleep of I am trying abstain n get worse physically lot quicker because I'm very aware each time I use substances esco meth it's destroying me nor belong me it's disguise but it gets me up gives me energy I otherwise don't have I'm no longer pysicall I'll temporarily until it wears n I need more. I hate my life I'm a good person deep down I'm a sinner however that takes his name I. Vein constantly now because of thesethibgs driving me mad I'm physically disabled I have nowhere else to go I'm on limited income and I can't pay rent anywhere else it too much money when Drs won't help I'm trying to get it right before I don't have anymore time and I've had a vision and I heard the answer sane void from a vision 20 plus years prior that told me if I did I'd regret it for the rest of my life the worst yet was lord I know everything is In your time at 19 I was told I couldn't bear children suddenly I'm having a baby I'm on over meth I haven't even looked for another place to live I know want to release this apartment it why I just quit my job so I could find one wherever moved to my lease is about to end mom asked me to move In with her she'd help me should I because we had a ur of problem in which I didn't speak to her and it was my fault but at the time I blamed her as I have time n agsin for keeping me down n not allowing me my could after I left her home from abuse to. Her n my brother o get housing which never to this day almost 16 yes later h@s happened I have every breath of life since I chose to move in with her hoping she could help me I didn't know anything about babies really n I wasn't sober I didn't have the faith I. Myself to do it alive I. Didn't know who his father was either I loin at him know I know he looks like this Spanish guy I met on dating chat line had sex for money to get meth why I couldn't give that up for good who knows when it was just that ice tried n failed do many times to get n stay sober but people put me down I felt not enough n I give up or I list people j feell off or I had everything in life responsibility cone onto at once unprepared with no support groups I fell off I ain't come back yet help me please
Thank you thank you very much❤❤❤❤
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❤🙏❤️
I just barely found you. 2 weeks ago in the 5 yrs of getting on Google play searching self help self love finding self I really need help I know my time is nearing end not bought roo n here to say the many reasons I'm well aware that it's true in the next 6 months I will die m I'm a sinner I can't seem to forgive n forget I talk too 4whit3 walks but truly am praying to Jesus almost every day all day but l do is keep saying the past over n over I don't have a life he put me down Christ did or God 6 yrs ago I thought my own will I couldn't be bed bound no way not me I found drugs meth n heroin or meth and fentanyl would give me the energy and mask most of the pain at least make it manageable do for 6 yrs it's what I. Done God mfs it very clear at this point he didn't want me doing those things and he needed to gone to a point where everyone I know ruined my life around me left me she'll of nothingness I moved in with my 69 yr old aunt in California from Utah going 4 months ago for the 2nd time I drive myself nuts 7 ga:r ADHD addiction and OCD and after spending a
6yrs needing others help to cook clean do my errands help me pay my way In life I learned that when you do finally ask for help people starting attitude Andi try to hold in my anger or whatever when hey ness up or when they purposefully are out to make me miserable I keep it I. Bottles up I might get a lil loud I ago her to leave walk out then I can't she stands n forces me to get louder per say.. after a few min of me lightly saying please just go please that time out thing u know it's hard I'm (living right now dying with bed bugs around me in my apt she is I denial I had then skipped into my skin back they're way up inside and disappear time and again after fighting hard with tweezers to yank then out of my face my breasts legs abdomen but next thing I know I have a different kind in me is well and they just simply somehow meld into my skin. They have hatched babies I have them sting me stab me bite me from the inside outta everywhere my health has gone down hill o have hadpart of my butt hole start coming out when I feel like I need go number 2 mostly nothing ever comes out but gas n then I can at times feel things moving you in they're I had 7 pill bottles full of toilet n bugs from different parts of my body toon them to UCLA I have no idea what they did with the box I brought with all of them I. It the next thing I know after them taking blood giving IV fluid temp n tivan which knocked me out I was wok to being released I tried asking they pushed me out the door told me I'd seen the Dr and and psychiatrist and the diagnosis was addiction. Psychosis they send me back home to be surrounded by these things to have no help n that made it easier for my aunt to dismiss me and the issues I deal with[h 24/7 with I've been an addict of one thing or another since I was 12 n I've tried so many times to get sober I loo. Back n think what was wrong with me because once became the main additiction I get physically sick without it even on a opioid blocking medicatios that I have prescribed pain doesn't goes it's only worse than it ever was I am driven mad all day n night they jump around they not like the Internet said at all they are all over my room my bed I see black images wither humping or flying popping all over the place I go right to where I'd seen it happen cant see them but they're are plenty of black thing on top of the carpet clutched on they'll release when they decide no matter's what I do to try to vaccum with a high instistu knocking uv light hand held vaccine they don't come up some of the other ones have I pulled the o[get kind out of up my hurt 2 large very large I my pop around them they can produce what look like human hair as feelers and it turns on time in what like a copper wire if I've happened to find them n try to p-t different chemicals to see what light kill those off I haven't found a solution 1 so to try now to be at one and silent I'm finding very very hard I never could meditate I ont know how visualize I can't stand being alone because all I do is talk to myself n God or sleep of I am trying abstain n get worse physically lot quicker because I'm very aware each time I use substances esco meth it's destroying me nor belong me it's disguise but it gets me up gives me energy I otherwise don't have I'm no longer pysicall I'll temporarily until it wears n I need more. I hate my life I'm a good person deep down I'm a sinner however that takes his name I. Vein constantly now because of thesethibgs driving me mad I'm physically disabled I have nowhere else to go I'm on limited income and I can't pay rent anywhere else it too much money when Drs won't help I'm trying to get it right before I don't have anymore time and I've had a vision and I heard the answer sane void from a vision 20 plus years prior that told me if I did I'd regret it for the rest of my life the worst yet was lord I know everything is In your time at 19 I was told I couldn't bear children suddenly I'm having a baby I'm on over meth I haven't even looked for another place to live I know want to release this apartment it why I just quit my job so I could find one wherever moved to my lease is about to end mom asked me to move In with her she'd help me should I because we had a ur of problem in which I didn't speak to her and it was my fault but at the time I blamed her as I have time n agsin for keeping me down n not allowing me my could after I left her home from abuse to. Her n my brother o get housing which never to this day almost 16 yes later h@s happened I have every breath of life since I chose to move in with her hoping she could help me I didn't know anything about babies really n I wasn't sober I didn't have the faith I. Myself to do it alive I. Didn't know who his father was either I loin at him know I know he looks like this Spanish guy I met on dating chat line had sex for money to get meth why I couldn't give that up for good who knows when it was just that ice tried n failed do many times to get n stay sober but people put me down I felt not enough n I give up or I list people j feell off or I had everything in life responsibility cone onto at once unprepared with no support groups I fell off I ain't come back yet help me please
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🙏😊❤🙏