We need the same rule for wealthy celebrities, business people, and politicians who say it's a real knife fight out there, and socialism and taxes are the answer.
I had a friend who was a navy corpsman. I asked him if he saw combat when he got out and he proceeded to explain the plot of Blackhawk down as if it was his own lived experience.
I had a friend who told me he was part of a mercenary team dispatched to capture dinosaurs on a secret island. Didn’t have the heart to tell him I’ve seen ghostbusters 2.
Lol no. He’s doing the same cynical “nobody cares oh my god people just talk about boring stuff” shtick that wasn’t funny the first time it was done by Carlin like 30 fucking years ago.
Every generation thinks that they are wiser than the one that came before it and the ones that come after it, while in reality there is no such thing as wisdom.
@@docwillis1443there’s definitely such a thing as wisdom. Just think the wisdom the boomers tried to pass on was obsolete bc the world changed so fast due to technology, government policies, etc. Just realized this is 3 years old. Lol.
"I watched the towers fall, then I found out they were holograms. I listened to people talking about "lizard people," then I found out they were right." Hahahahah!
This reminds me of Chris Delia saying all the people that are into conspiracy theories are the people who don’t get invited to thanksgiving . Bill gates and Jeff bezos divorced at the same time because they’re gay lovers 🤦♂️
I remember when I was a cook on a naval ship and terrorists tried to hijack it but these clowns didn't know I was a former navy seal and I broke every person's arm on that boat... Oh yeah and a naked chick jumped out of a cake. I saved alot of people that night.
Dude you’re so right we had a poorly staged intervention with my friend and it just didn’t go well at all. He only conceded like one thing and doubled down on everything else and fell silent. 2 others came into the room about halfway through and they said it was the most uncomfortable and awkward room they ever stepped foot in
Ever have one project lies onto you? Ever have one turn your friends against you? I can't stress enough, make your life boring and productive for a few months and watch all the fake friends disappear.
@@jarrgeez he doesn't interact with his producer who is there to produce and react to the rant. Okay. And then he's fat. What substantial criticism on your part..
the best part about this rant is I can steal it, repeat it to a group of people to make me seem funny, and the whole premise still agrees with what I'm doing fuck yeah, Thanks Timmy!
4 ปีที่แล้ว +30
Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok. The trinity of the worst things that ever existed.
I had this open and was rolling through Facebook... when Tim shouted “Anyone still on Facebook in any meaningful sense right now, is a mental patient.” I closed it out. Lmao
I deleted mine a few years ago and it’s been so refreshing. I’ve fallen out of my circle of friends because of it. It made me find out who my real friends are.
You’d be wise to keep it that way. I enjoy a lot of of my friends and groups on Facebook. The problem is, it brings out WAAAAAYYYYY to many idiots. But then, so do many other social media platforms, Twitter is worse if you ask me.
@@agent_ninety9 so when you post a pic or a status or whatever, people get a dopamine rush from seeing all their “like” notifications. Also validation to whatever they posted gives one a hit of dopamine. People have pretty shitty lives these days 🤷🏼♂️
@@usernotfound904 oddly I never had that dopamine Rush from that ever so that's why I find it hard to believe but I do believe it. I found it to be more of a pain in the ass people judgemental of what you post to the point where people would tell you don't post anything and then they'll just post ridiculous stupid quotes. All it was was fighting over politics but I deleted mine February of this year so it hasn't been as quite as long as you but I would never miss it. There is nothing to miss just a bunch of people that are spying on you and their entire lives are fake. I mean let's be honest you only see the good side of people's lives are not going to Post reality and if they do it's one of those people that tell you every little thing to where they ate to the last time they took a shit. It's revolting in my opinion. Like I said I take it as a relief not being on there and filling Off the Grid so-to-speakspeak. None of those people are your real friends & if so they would visit you and have your phone number . I have to add it and say that I'm doing this talk-to-text so there is absolutely no punctuation so I apologize for the lack thereof oh, it sounds like a complete runoff sentence LOL
I would love to see jordan peterson on the tim dillon podcast. I mean... or tim dillon on the jordan peterson podcast. Get these two minds in the same room together.
@@MeatCatCheesyBlaster I don't care about attention on TH-cam, my views, my subscribers or anything, just feel like sharing thoughts with other viewers here
OMG I'm dying when Tim talks about Facebook. He's so dead on! Tragically I know a number of people who still use that graveyard site feeling important or trying to prove points. It is sad.
I once told my boss about this crazy party I went to on Ibiza, where I woke up hungover on a random beach. Two weeks later, he started telling me a story, about when he went to ibiza, and woke up on a random beach. Fucker stole my memory and fed it back to me. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized mid telling me, that I was the one who told him the story in the first place.
Because it loves you, and the warm wet sensation of wallowing in its creamy human subcutaneous fat has become the last authentic bastion for your ragged dented worldview, the lonesome territory where all the savage focus comes together for your manly thoughts to harden in their soft-cynical identity. Sign the book on the way out, and told the towel if you use it, please.
@@blacktoothfox677 Invest in learning how to use the edit comment feature on TH-cam before showcasing your rudimentary usage of basic SAT vocabulary terms in hopes that someone, anyone, will find it humorous, or even better, profound. In short, crawl in a dumpster you human puddle of garbage juice.
This is one of the few times where my bragging comes up in conversations. I made my Facebook in 6th grade, used it for a week then realized how dumb it was and then dropped it. Never used any social media besides TH-cam and Reddit since. Social media is a very non social, disconnecting, anti discussion and anti debate invention that does the exact opposite of what it promises to do.
even YT and Reddit have gone extremely downhill. both are insanely censored and encourage sheep mentality by pushing all unpopular opinions into oblivion
I admitted to my chiropractor today, that I am obsessed with you 100%. Hysterical because it is real. Also, you describe me often and it is one hundred percent accurate. Hilarious.
I used Facebook, off and on, from 2009 until recently. Took me way too long to break the habit of mindlessly scrolling and wasting time. The better part of 15 years and I can't say it ever led to a close friendship. I will say that my wife and I used it to get a hiking club off the ground but after that I stopped using it altogether. Anyone who wants to be a part of your life will reach out without a social media platform as an intermediary. My life is so much better now because I have actual friends I see a few times a month and do stuff with (softball, hiking, potlucks, whatever). Social media, more than anything, stymies social connection because it tricks people into thinking they have meaningful relationships with others when all they really have is a sad simulacrum.
Now that everyone works from home, I don’t have to deal with office drama anymore. I bet a lot of people feel maladjusted now that nobody has to deal with their nonsense anymore.
People are literally nothing like what he’s talking about. I’m out everyday, everyone is quiet and minds their own business. Maybe that’s how they are in entertainment, but not here
"Stop posting libertarian memes if you live with your mother" 😂
lol man
@@DannySullivanMusic FOR REAL THOUGH...
Exactly!
If you’re living with mommy then you should be posting socialist memes
Hey im a libertarian that lives with his mother lol. I take care of her because she's disabled so it's a little different i guess.
We need the same rule for wealthy celebrities, business people, and politicians who say it's a real knife fight out there, and socialism and taxes are the answer.
“Boomers have a shit ton of life experience with no wisdom” 100%
That's a nietzsche-esque aphorism
@@CatnamedMittensits true grandma
Tim Dillons complete worldview...
“It’s over now”
Yes or yes
I had a friend who was a navy corpsman. I asked him if he saw combat when he got out and he proceeded to explain the plot of Blackhawk down as if it was his own lived experience.
IT'S ALL IN THE GRIND.
@@melaninjay592 Most corpsman are just assigned to ships or bases though
@@melaninjay592 He dumbed it down by explaining the exact plot of a movie? 🤔 Strange.
I had a friend who told me he was part of a mercenary team dispatched to capture dinosaurs on a secret island. Didn’t have the heart to tell him I’ve seen ghostbusters 2.
Sad, because all he had to say was "Uh... No?"
I think Tim is one of those few people who are ACTUALLY awake.
He's my Marcus Aurelius
He's just a lost soul that will never be awake.
He knows the truth - realtors from Bravo are leading the fight against evil in the secret war.
Well he was 2 years ago when he was novel. Now he’s a Redbar fool
Lol no. He’s doing the same cynical “nobody cares oh my god people just talk about boring stuff” shtick that wasn’t funny the first time it was done by Carlin like 30 fucking years ago.
“I don’t own a house but I own this page!” 😂
My fans?
😭😭
absolute gold
lol dude very nice
🤣
Deleted mine a couple years ago after almost a decade..... What a colossal waste of time and energy it was.
Amazing what it does for you in a positive way. So much healthier being detached from the social media realm.
Indeed.
I scroll once a day. It’s not that serious.
I wish there was a way to delete that and keep messenger bc that’s the only thing I use fb for. I don’t do anything else.
@@100mphFastball I’m the same a couple scrolls a day but I’m not too sucked into it so it’s okay
‘The only generation with a shit ton of experience and no wisdom’ god truer words have never been spoken .
hear, hear
Every generation thinks that they are wiser than the one that came before it and the ones that come after it, while in reality there is no such thing as wisdom.
@@docwillis1443there’s definitely such a thing as wisdom. Just think the wisdom the boomers tried to pass on was obsolete bc the world changed so fast due to technology, government policies, etc. Just realized this is 3 years old. Lol.
This is actually 13 minutes of an actual genius mind
Actually?
Actually is the new Literally
We're going to have to disagree on that one.
His weed rant vs painkillers got me rolling
Calm down
“You also have the freedom to not speak” gotta love Tim Dillon
People will literally conduct fake business.
Take “will literally” out of that sentence.
@@jacobvanveit3437 friend, look up “Tim Dillon fake business”, it works for this joke that the comment stays the same
Lmao
pretty fantastic that people sense reality
The “Born before 9/11 rant” hits waaaay to close to home.....
Holograms😂
"I watched the towers fall, then I found out they were holograms.
I listened to people talking about "lizard people," then I found out they were right."
Hahahahah!
This reminds me of Chris Delia saying all the people that are into conspiracy theories are the people who don’t get invited to thanksgiving .
Bill gates and Jeff bezos divorced at the same time because they’re gay lovers 🤦♂️
@F.W. what conspiracy would that be
@@MrGanjaBandits the ww2 stuff.
This was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while
"I watched the Towers fall, OK? And then found out they were holograms. I'm not doing you're little Fortnite dance.” LMAO right lol
Tim Dillon is one of the great thinkers of the 21st century. Truly guiding a generation.
Imagine if fucking Sócrates was here in this time and we said that to him… how disappointed do you think he would be at our society? Lol
The Greatest Ranter of our lifetime
Truly
“You’re eating cereal someone bought for you!”
I remember when I was a cook on a naval ship and terrorists tried to hijack it but these clowns didn't know I was a former navy seal and I broke every person's arm on that boat... Oh yeah and a naked chick jumped out of a cake. I saved alot of people that night.
I was there, it happened just like you said. It was amazing and that chick was hot.
@@magicpowers Thank goodness you didn't get your arm broke that night
🤔Soooooo your boat was Under Siege
@@thesorrow4664 It wasn't my boat but it was my duty
Bruh lol. How is the internet still alive after this 🤣🤣🤣
Calling out a pathological liar can be one of the most uncomfortable things in the world, I think that's why we all let them just get away with it.
Dude you’re so right we had a poorly staged intervention with my friend and it just didn’t go well at all. He only conceded like one thing and doubled down on everything else and fell silent. 2 others came into the room about halfway through and they said it was the most uncomfortable and awkward room they ever stepped foot in
As a pathological liar I can confirm it is an uncomfortable experience and appreciate everyone's indulgences of my bullshit
Ever have one project lies onto you? Ever have one turn your friends against you? I can't stress enough, make your life boring and productive for a few months and watch all the fake friends disappear.
I enjoy it. Seriously, I can't stand 'em!
That’s why no one calls out Bert Krisher?
Some of the realest shit I've ever heard..
@@jarrgeez he doesn't interact with his producer who is there to produce and react to the rant. Okay. And then he's fat. What substantial criticism on your part..
Huge difference between a canned studio laugh track and a human being genuinely laughing at what's being said in front of him in the moment..
@@jarrgeez go back to watching vox bro, we don't want you here
Let's talk about freedom of speech...
So true
Tim is a rare talent. Brilliant mind. Razor sharp wit. Fearless style. The Bukowski of comedy.
"The Bukowski of comedy" - I don't have a strong grasp on his personality but from what I've read and heard of him, that sounds spot on
the best part about this rant is I can steal it, repeat it to a group of people to make me seem funny, and the whole premise still agrees with what I'm doing
fuck yeah, Thanks Timmy!
Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok. The trinity of the worst things that ever existed.
youtube is also a place of ruin
I love how Tim Dillon can cut through bullshit like a hot knife through butter. Makes me laugh so hard, such a great perspective & sense of humour
Tim is my kinda trash.
lmfao
Lol
Don’t insult the man like that.
I hope that's sarcasm and I'm just 2 dumb to understand it
@@goncalo1485 an education in the subject above can be had at the are you garbage podcast on gas digital and patreon.
I had this open and was rolling through Facebook... when Tim shouted “Anyone still on Facebook in any meaningful sense right now, is a mental patient.”
I closed it out. Lmao
Facebook physically hurts me after .005 seconds.
It brought my cancer back.
Amen
I deleted mine a few years ago and it’s been so refreshing. I’ve fallen out of my circle of friends because of it. It made me find out who my real friends are.
I’ve never had a FB account, never opened one and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made... it’s a parallel reality
You’d be wise to keep it that way. I enjoy a lot of of my friends and groups on Facebook. The problem is, it brings out WAAAAAYYYYY to many idiots. But then, so do many other social media platforms, Twitter is worse if you ask me.
I want Tim as my Press Secretary.
Deleted my facebook account almost 10 years ago best decision I’ve ever made
Same. Best thing ever. It really is old people screaming at each other. I hate it, I don't get how it triggers dopamine??!!!!
@@agent_ninety9 so when you post a pic or a status or whatever, people get a dopamine rush from seeing all their “like” notifications. Also validation to whatever they posted gives one a hit of dopamine. People have pretty shitty lives these days 🤷🏼♂️
@@usernotfound904 oddly I never had that dopamine Rush from that ever so that's why I find it hard to believe but I do believe it. I found it to be more of a pain in the ass people judgemental of what you post to the point where people would tell you don't post anything and then they'll just post ridiculous stupid quotes. All it was was fighting over politics but I deleted mine February of this year so it hasn't been as quite as long as you but I would never miss it. There is nothing to miss just a bunch of people that are spying on you and their entire lives are fake. I mean let's be honest you only see the good side of people's lives are not going to Post reality and if they do it's one of those people that tell you every little thing to where they ate to the last time they took a shit. It's revolting in my opinion. Like I said I take it as a relief not being on there and filling Off the Grid so-to-speakspeak. None of those people are your real friends & if so they would visit you and have your phone number . I have to add it and say that I'm doing this talk-to-text so there is absolutely no punctuation so I apologize for the lack thereof oh, it sounds like a complete runoff sentence LOL
@@agent_ninety9 could not agree more! 🙃
You did not made much or good decisions then if that is the best one
lol this guy just has a dude in the shadows as basically a laughbox audience member
I can't fathom how brilliant this guy is 🤣🤣🤣
"Stop with the Libertarian memes if you live with your parents"
19 year old me would fucking hate you right now. Too accurate.
Aye I’m 19 and just moved out 🤣👍
@@don2nd650 Libertreans are usually Trumpism zombies lol
You sound like a zombie just for saying "trumpism"
“You don’t know what it’s like to listen to people talk about lizards people then find out their right “😂😂
13:15 I love how Tim literally sounds like an old smoker lady.
I've been getting high and looking at christmas lights in rich neighborhoods for like 10 years. Love you Tim
I love this. It sounds exactly like the talkback radio in the GTA series. Covers lot of the same themes as discussed ingame on radio.
Sometimes I need the words of jordan peterson, other times I need the words of tim dillon
Does it mean that JP is delusional and TD is hyperrealistic?
JP is a hack. He's got nothing on Tim Dillon.
@@jacquesstoop2587 Clean your room
They both say things that neither political parties say
I would love to see jordan peterson on the tim dillon podcast. I mean... or tim dillon on the jordan peterson podcast. Get these two minds in the same room together.
Spit out my oatmeal with “holograms”.
"Know how cheap words are"
Something so goddamn obvious and yet brilliant. I'm embarrassed that I haven't deeply thought about this myself.
Facebook is pre dope in my town, its just people selling acid and weed on messenger groups. No one uses the main app.
My Facebook has been deactivated 19 out of the past 24 months and I don't miss it at all.
You can delete the thing completely.
@@MeatCatCheesyBlaster I don't care about attention on TH-cam, my views, my subscribers or anything, just feel like sharing thoughts with other viewers here
@boomboomlou
How do you delete it completely ???????
Every day that goes by I get closer and closer to deactivating it
I cancelled my account in April. Best decision ever.
He speaks my thoughts this is amazing.
Comedians are Prophets at their Best ..Carlin ,Pryor,Hicks..And I feel Tim Dillon is in this Catagory
OMG I'm dying when Tim talks about Facebook. He's so dead on! Tragically I know a number of people who still use that graveyard site feeling important or trying to prove points. It is sad.
I once told my boss about this crazy party I went to on Ibiza, where I woke up hungover on a random beach. Two weeks later, he started telling me a story, about when he went to ibiza, and woke up on a random beach. Fucker stole my memory and fed it back to me. You should have seen the look on his face when he realized mid telling me, that I was the one who told him the story in the first place.
Can't stand people like that. Far too many
People are so fake lol
love this guy
This man is incredible and we are incredibly lucky to have him.
“ I watched the towers fall and then I found out they were holograms” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I knew you guys would come back to MySpace.
that is a great idea
Hahaha, "I saw the towers fall and then learned that they were holograms" hahahaha
This is the funniest man on the planet.
When David Icke drops a timeline fkn 15 years ago and then you watch it play out 😂😂😂
Why do I love this so much.
Because it loves you, and the warm wet sensation of wallowing in its creamy human subcutaneous fat has become the last authentic bastion for your ragged dented worldview, the lonesome territory where all the savage focus comes together for your manly thoughts to harden in their soft-cynical identity.
Sign the book on the way out, and told the towel if you use it, please.
'fold' not 'told'... That fucking spellchecker
Blacktooth Fox yea even if ur joking that was still borderline unintelligible
@@street8651 better than borderline boring as fuck. Invest in ya education, sausage
@@blacktoothfox677 Invest in learning how to use the edit comment feature on TH-cam before showcasing your rudimentary usage of basic SAT vocabulary terms in hopes that someone, anyone, will find it humorous, or even better, profound.
In short, crawl in a dumpster you human puddle of garbage juice.
This is one of the few times where my bragging comes up in conversations. I made my Facebook in 6th grade, used it for a week then realized how dumb it was and then dropped it. Never used any social media besides TH-cam and Reddit since. Social media is a very non social, disconnecting, anti discussion and anti debate invention that does the exact opposite of what it promises to do.
even YT and Reddit have gone extremely downhill. both are insanely censored and encourage sheep mentality by pushing all unpopular opinions into oblivion
This, in summary, is why I love supporting this guy. His rants contain so much/many truths
After hearing this I've been on a crusade to inform people about their previously unknown right too not speak.
“They’re lying, They’ll make things up” now Tim how about those real estate deals
13:16 - omg Tim sounds exactly like my math teacher from elementary school, she was the best
this set looks like a void you see after you die and its just tim sitting there.
tim dillon your my new favorite comic !!! My man said i lived thru 9/11 and found out the towers where a hologram hahah
agree 100% I once fell for the nonsense, wised up, got off, and it's the best thing I EVER did. EVER
you're eating cereal someone bought for you...such a great line
I admitted to my chiropractor today, that I am obsessed with you 100%. Hysterical because it is real. Also, you describe me often and it is one hundred percent accurate. Hilarious.
I watched the towers fall and then realized they were holograms
Some would say Tim Dillon is the Marcus Aurelius of the 21st century
I said it once I’ll say it again, This producer has the best job in the world 😆😆😆
I love this set up of his! I often imagine myself in a dark room like that when I’m creating.
I used Facebook, off and on, from 2009 until recently. Took me way too long to break the habit of mindlessly scrolling and wasting time. The better part of 15 years and I can't say it ever led to a close friendship. I will say that my wife and I used it to get a hiking club off the ground but after that I stopped using it altogether.
Anyone who wants to be a part of your life will reach out without a social media platform as an intermediary. My life is so much better now because I have actual friends I see a few times a month and do stuff with (softball, hiking, potlucks, whatever). Social media, more than anything, stymies social connection because it tricks people into thinking they have meaningful relationships with others when all they really have is a sad simulacrum.
HAHAHAHA
True.
And then "there's your problem, it's the internet!"
facebook is just a corner bar hahahahaha so good
“You also have the freedom to not speak”😂
The more I listen the more I find to love about you and what you're saying.
It gets funnier when you notice Tim is wearing a Facebook color shirt.
Tim basically is describing the scientific method a minute & a half in. If the experiment works, you sometimes say “Oh! Nice!”
Tim is an absolute explosive comic and I love it
This is absolutely brilliant when he circles back to the original point at 10:56.
Facebook is the truck stop town off the freeway of social media.
We are all children inside, trying to make our way home, let’s do it with class.
"Listen people talk about Lizard People and find out they're right!" LOL!!!!
What a beautiful rant Not only life lessons but 100% truth
The best kind of comedy is telling the truth.
“Let ‘em have it!”
I have transitioned from hating FB for a year to liking it, cos now it's 100% pure trash.
Boomers: The first Generation with s-tons of life experience and no wisdom. - Tim you are the best!!!!!
"Our appetite for skullduggery."
So much truth.
It isn't just Boomers on Facebook. There's plenty of millennials that literally have no experience at anything and they're a expert at everything.
plenty of brain dead gen x and z mf's too
We just need a carbon tax bro. Everyone will buy Teslas.
Now that everyone works from home, I don’t have to deal with office drama anymore. I bet a lot of people feel maladjusted now that nobody has to deal with their nonsense anymore.
Tim’s too smart, funny and well read he must’ve been created in a lab
"No one cares about your drama in Burnt Corn, Alabama's comedy scene. " 😂
Facebook users when a post is actually funny: "GeT a LiFe, StUpId."
Facebook users when a post is not that funny: *laughs hysterically*
You were born after 9/11. I was born before 9/11. I saw the towers fall and found out they were holograms.
People being scared of silence is real. Nobody can just observe anymore. Everyone has to be right.
Don’t they just.
3:45 is where the titular topic begins
Tim is so right i learned about all this shit 15 years ago and then watched it come true
Tim Dillon is my favorite cia agent.
Probably one of the few people that say things how they are. Honest and upfront. I would love to be your friend sincerely 💕
People are literally nothing like what he’s talking about. I’m out everyday, everyone is quiet and minds their own business. Maybe that’s how they are in entertainment, but not here
That's how a couple of his friends are
" I was born after 911.... and found out it wasn't real" 😂 I'm dying
I totally agree I can't go on Facebook without seeing a stupid comment.