دكتورة انا يلي راح اقدم الفحص بعد شهرين بإذن الله اريد نصيحتك بالتجهيز للكتابة انا الان اتابع انواع الكتابة من فيديوهاتك وطلعت منها بكم هائل من الكلمات ماذا تنصحيني افعل ايضا جعلها الله في ميزان حسناتك
تبارك الرحمن يا دكتورة الفيديو مذهل من ناحية الشرح والتنسيق اتمنى اوصل لهذا المستوى رغم كرهي للجانب الاكاديمي من اللغة ، كنت اتمنى اشوف استلهامك للجملة واختياراتك اثناء الكتابة لكل الفقرات وكيف تعدلين وتغيرين عليها كأنك في اختبار فعلي ، انا مستواي ضعيف وشغلك المتكامل مسبب لي حكه في قلبي وبالتالي راح اعيد المشاهدة لعلي اتحسن ، وارجو الافادة والتوجية من وين ابدا سكة الكتابة الاكاديمية للمبتدئ وشكرا جزيلا من القلب وبارك الله فيك ونفع بك
شكرا لك..نصيحتي تبدأ من كورس الكتابة الشامل موجود في قائمة كورسات الفيديو الواحد. هو كورس تأسيسي للكتابة الأكاديمية. بعدها تدرس كورس الكتابة الأكاديمية بقائمة الأيلتس.
Firstly, the treatment criminals get in the prison have a major impact of how their case would be after they are released. In other word, the brutal way of dealing with them and the exposure to domestic violence will effect their behavior afterward. Consequently, they return to committing the same crime as being in the jail does not necessarily rectify someone's conduct. secondly, It is well-knowing that if a person gets arrested will be terminated, the struggle of finding a new occupation, and the no longer able to support their family or even themselves lead them have no choice unless go back to illegal action regardless of the consequences.
@@push.official No. Do not use "he" to refer to a criminal or individual. You can say " it is well-known that if a person gets arrested (he or she) will be terminated.
Undeniably, a substantial number of criminals perpetrate further crimes after taking their first sanction. However, the prison play a significant role in their recidivism by how merciless treatment they get in terms of the psychological aspect and employment in the financial side. This essay will analyze the reasons of why offenders commit more crimes after their first punishment and give some viable solutions for it.
To begin with, firstly, plentiful offenders suffer from psychological problems which raised from the horrible environment and circumstances they lived in. Although they are punished, they are not cured from their psychological problems. Additionally, when those criminals became free, they struggle from employment and finding suitable occupation with fair salary to support themselves and their families.
- Don't use two linking words with the same meaning after each other " to begin with , firstly" - offenders "who" not "which" as who is used with people. It is also ok to use "that" as it replaces both who and which. - Use the present simple tense as you are talking about a general matter or stating a fact. Say "become" free not "became."
However, several criminals served their penalty, it is shown that they perpetrate more illegal actions after their first imprisonment. It is shown that numerous offenders become engaged into more crimes for psychological and financial issues. This essay will illustrate the reasons and recommended solutions to handle this problem.
الاداء الرائع والتمكن فى الشرح والايضاح حلو مافيش كلام
شكرا لحضرتك🌷
شكرا انسة انسة يسر وبارك الله فيكي المقالة روعة والشرح اروع بس كلماتها جزلة جدا مع ذلك الفايدة كبيرة من كل النواحي ويعطيكي الف عافية
الحمد لله ان حضرتك لاقيته مفيد 🌷🌷بس معلش هي "جزلة" معناها صعبة؟
هو يقصد ان الكليمات كبيرة من حيث عدد الحروف ودة بيسبب صعوبه فى حفظ الكليمات ....والله اعلم
@@elsayedmahmoud3032 تمام...هو فعلا فيه بعض الكلمات صعبة وطويلة ولكن للاسف دي صفة من صفات الكلمات الأكاديمية. بس بالتدريب بتبقى واضحة وسلسة.
دكتورة انا يلي راح اقدم الفحص بعد شهرين بإذن الله اريد نصيحتك بالتجهيز للكتابة انا الان اتابع انواع الكتابة من فيديوهاتك وطلعت منها بكم هائل من الكلمات ماذا تنصحيني افعل ايضا جعلها الله في ميزان حسناتك
تبارك الرحمن يا دكتورة الفيديو مذهل من ناحية الشرح والتنسيق اتمنى اوصل لهذا المستوى رغم كرهي للجانب الاكاديمي من اللغة ، كنت اتمنى اشوف استلهامك للجملة واختياراتك اثناء الكتابة لكل الفقرات وكيف تعدلين وتغيرين عليها كأنك في اختبار فعلي ، انا مستواي ضعيف وشغلك المتكامل مسبب لي حكه في قلبي وبالتالي راح اعيد المشاهدة لعلي اتحسن ، وارجو الافادة والتوجية من وين ابدا سكة الكتابة الاكاديمية للمبتدئ وشكرا جزيلا من القلب وبارك الله فيك ونفع بك
شكرا لك..نصيحتي تبدأ من كورس الكتابة الشامل موجود في قائمة كورسات الفيديو الواحد. هو كورس تأسيسي للكتابة الأكاديمية. بعدها تدرس كورس الكتابة الأكاديمية بقائمة الأيلتس.
ما شاء الله جزاك الله كل خير
🥰🥰
دكتورة انتي خصصتي الاسباب بbody والحلول في الثاني هل يمكن وضع سبب وحله في body ونفس الشيء بالثاني وايها افضل؟
لا ..الفقرة الأولى من جسم المقال للأسباب و الثانية للحلول
@@IELTSAcademy9شكرا عالاهتمام
👍
Firstly, the treatment criminals get in the prison have a major impact of how their case would be after they are released. In other word, the brutal way of dealing with them and the exposure to domestic violence will effect their behavior afterward. Consequently, they return to committing the same crime as being in the jail does not necessarily rectify someone's conduct. secondly, It is well-knowing that if a person gets arrested will be terminated, the struggle of finding a new occupation, and the no longer able to support their family or even themselves lead them have no choice unless go back to illegal action regardless of the consequences.
Good; however, avoid referring to a word as "he" only.
it is well-knowing that if an individual get arrested spontaneously will get fire from his position@@IELTSAcademy9
@@push.official No. Do not use "he" to refer to a criminal or individual. You can say " it is well-known that if a person gets arrested (he or she) will be terminated.
Undeniably, a substantial number of criminals perpetrate further crimes after taking their first sanction. However, the prison play a significant role in their recidivism by how merciless treatment they get in terms of the psychological aspect and employment in the financial side. This essay will analyze the reasons of why offenders commit more crimes after their first punishment and give some viable solutions for it.
The collocation " commit problems" in the thesis statement is incorrect. It is better to say " perpetrate / commit crimes / recidivate".
thanks I really don't know how I write it that way (problem here make no sense @@IELTSAcademy9
دكتورة هل يوجد جملة thesis ثابتةوكذلك في conclusion نوعا ما مع تعديلات بسيطة حسب topicيمكن حفظها لكل نوع من الانواع الخمسة
انا مش من مدرسة ال template ولا افضلها ولكن تناسب اي حد بيحتاج سكور مش عالي. هتلاقي اون لاين كثير.
جزاكي الله كل خير ورفع مقامك في الدنيا والاخرة
شكرا جدا لحضرتك ربنا يباركلك
🌷🌷
To begin with, firstly, plentiful offenders suffer from psychological problems which raised from the horrible environment and circumstances they lived in. Although they are punished, they are not cured from their psychological problems. Additionally, when those criminals became free, they struggle from employment and finding suitable occupation with fair salary to support themselves and their families.
- Don't use two linking words with the same meaning after each other " to begin with , firstly"
- offenders "who" not "which" as who is used with people. It is also ok to use "that" as it replaces both who and which.
- Use the present simple tense as you are talking about a general matter or stating a fact. Say "become" free not "became."
الله يوفقج ست يسر . الشرح جميل بس كلماته المقاله صعبة بالحفظ
تدريجي وبالتدريب هتعرفيها وتتعودي عليها... هي كلمات ال essays المفروض مستواها كدة.
However, several criminals served their penalty, it is shown that they perpetrate more illegal actions after their first imprisonment. It is shown that numerous offenders become engaged into more crimes for psychological and financial issues. This essay will illustrate the reasons and recommended solutions to handle this problem.
Don't begin with however as it means but. You can use "Although / Even though / Despite the fact that..."
@@IELTSAcademy9 thanks alot ♥️♥️♥️
All the best 💪💪👍
❤❤❤❤❤
بالتوفيق دائما 🌹🌹