There Isn't One Way - Pt. 2 | After Love | S3E2

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 122

  • @anainallcaps
    @anainallcaps 2 ปีที่แล้ว +130

    “Maintenance is better than repair.” Love that take on therapy 🙏🏽

    • @jr9941
      @jr9941 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes, that was a word! Adding that to my tool box. Whew, great discussion.

    • @JM-qg9bo
      @JM-qg9bo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That was a perfect analogy!

    • @maryluvsmusic9298
      @maryluvsmusic9298 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yaaas! I felt that in my soul! Fantastic analogy that I never thought of to that extent. Why is Black Love ending🤯?!? We need this show in our lives😩!

  • @alexiscaldwell4133
    @alexiscaldwell4133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    The way Jared looks at Mel when she talks… whew! He loves him some her! Tommy & Cote’s relationship is interesting… she always seems more “present” than him but obviously ppl are different in real life. Roz & Ray are genuine soulmates fr.

  • @nikkimelvin2428
    @nikkimelvin2428 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    I think Tommy is trying to distinguish the difference between talk therapy (which is what the couples are referring to) versus engaging in activities that are therapeutic for you. Not everyone benefits from or is ready for talk therapy but we all need outlets that we need to tap into that prove to be therapeutic (e.g. meditation/prayer, art, journaling, disconnecting, etc.)

    • @empress2024
      @empress2024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      You articulated that so well sis!

    • @daniellegreen8374
      @daniellegreen8374 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Well said!!!

    • @katinalong5158
      @katinalong5158 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Wow. Good point.

    • @naijalayday1500
      @naijalayday1500 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The right type of therapist for a person might inspire these alternative outlets. E.g. it wasn't until I met my therapist that I really got the idea of journaling moments as a I feel them, so I can have some nuance in my perspectives.

    • @beatricealexander2102
      @beatricealexander2102 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@empress2024 totally agree!!

  • @donnamck8324
    @donnamck8324 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    “Maintenance is better than repair.” Profoundly simple statement. I love this so much. I need another episode.

  • @ljvk7725
    @ljvk7725 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    the way Jared looks at Melanie though while she is speaking, goals!! so beautiful (also, love Melanie's top, the colours are 😍)

    • @Jasmyne444
      @Jasmyne444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! 🙌🏽

  • @p.lissade8016
    @p.lissade8016 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I am a therapist. I have enjoyed listening to how helpful therapy has been to each of you. Tommy is expressing what many people feel about therapy. It is fair that he feels as he does. Thank-you for reminding me that what I do impacts people in a positive way. Pat Lissade, LCSW-R

  • @ashleythompson3981
    @ashleythompson3981 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    This group is it! They're dynamic is great. Hopefully they can keep some of your ideas for BL going!

  • @fitnessbyblessing
    @fitnessbyblessing 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Maintenance is better than repair. That line right there is deep.

  • @jc4yo
    @jc4yo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    R.I.P to a phenomenal woman. Rest well ☺️

  • @Reeses710
    @Reeses710 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I love it!! It's the guys trying to bring Tommy's behind the scene emotions out loud & the ladies were not having it, lol! Oooo Tommy's feelings toward therapy are my husband's thoughts to the T 👏....he says his "therapy" happens with conversations from ppl that know him and not have to learn him....another great episode!

  • @goldenlabelstudio
    @goldenlabelstudio 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    This ENTIRE series has been most therapeutic. God bless thee Oliver’s.🖤

  • @mrsamaziin
    @mrsamaziin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The introvert was introverting in to his hoodie...lol. I loved it. 😂

  • @jacquelinekelley3090
    @jacquelinekelley3090 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was so good seeing these couples interact with each other and for Ray and Roslyn it made me feel sad because Roslyn pass away from her illness around 3 months later on November 15, 2022 while sleeping peacefully at home where she wanted to be. This type of cancer you usually don't live for 10 years but her determination and willingness not to give up made it happen. Bless her our mighty Lord please. I give it up to her because she was so very strong and I do believe like her husband Ray said she earned her wings in a statement when she pass away and so true. And I believe that she won because she never ever gave up the fight with her illness at all. And Ray was a very good husband to her and right by her side ever step of the way like a real man is suppose to do for his wife. She is an example of what strength really is and especially after all she had been through to show people you can continue to keep moving forward not give in to give up. Bless her husband Ray and I give my condolences to him and the family. She is an angel in heaven for sure. 👼🕯🕯🙏

  • @missjones8123
    @missjones8123 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Tommie is so stubborn and set in his ways i couldn't deal with a man like him he is def made for Cody! Bless Em!

  • @chanilorien698
    @chanilorien698 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love the conversation around counseling/ therapy. It's a great investment in any relationship that's for the long run. This style of unity and communication is top tier. I love my Black people.

  • @shestudios
    @shestudios 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    These two couples are the epitome of crazy, sexy, cool 😎. Amen for Black Love!!! 🙌🏾

  • @TheRepatDiaries
    @TheRepatDiaries 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I see how black men can say they don’t feel heard and I also see how WE black women can sometimes take advantage of finally getting the chance to be heard. Communication is definitely an art and in our community I think it’s something we really need to work on, HEAVY….

  • @danica6884
    @danica6884 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Rest in Love Ros! One of my favorite couples ❤️❤️

  • @1stpageplacementNet
    @1stpageplacementNet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    All valid points on therapy.
    Some people go to clinical therapist.
    Some people go to "Peer support groups."
    Peers sharing can be someone's support.

  • @cameilramouche3644
    @cameilramouche3644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "She make me better", i like that.

  • @keciaanderson6317
    @keciaanderson6317 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Yes my sister. Maintenance is always better than repair.

  • @Acon1882
    @Acon1882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This was a great convo. Loved seeing all of the different points of view. I am a fan of therapy, but I also understand Tommy’s POV as well.

  • @MP-mg7og
    @MP-mg7og 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you to Tommie and Codie for these amazing videos and this wonderful channel - they are a gift.

  • @iammahalieka
    @iammahalieka 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    OMG, I am so slow, I just realized that this is Melanie Fiona. WOW!

  • @keciaanderson6317
    @keciaanderson6317 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much Tommy & Cody for this wonderful platform. Can't wait to see what you'll do next.

  • @believeable1965
    @believeable1965 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    “I’m a mean girl”. “I’m a mean girl”. You don’t have to keep saying you are mean. You are beautiful! Strong and courageous.

    • @lovette7684
      @lovette7684 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yeh, that was unnecessary. We get it, and you already give off those vibes. It's like she says it as a defence mechanism or something.

  • @lisasykes624
    @lisasykes624 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wait a minute.... this is actually therapy ❤️

  • @Njoumanoura
    @Njoumanoura 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Das mit den OPs, das war süß. Zucker.

  • @jr9941
    @jr9941 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Great discussion! Wow, Tommy made a great point about therapy. But, I understand it's only a tool if needed. But, my favorite takeaway was "maintenance is better than repair". That just reminded me how important it is to do regular check-ins on my job, with my family n friends! This was soooo good to listen to from these beautiful brown couples! I hope there's another Black Love season headed our way!

  • @mickyfingaz
    @mickyfingaz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Roslyn is a piece of work. Ray is a good dude for dealing with all of that. She's an admitted "mean girl" and if I saw her in a club and she looked at me and said while pointing at me "Look at him with them stupid ass sunglasses on!", she wouldn't have gotten any of my time AT ALL!! When you deal with folks with no filter or the person who as in Ray's words, is "trained to go" you can lose yourself in the relationship because you're always managing them or the situations you're in together.

    • @oedivci
      @oedivci 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I actually got excited when she said that because as loving as I am I'm raising a mean daughter and she gets this from my in law side of the family but Rosalyn gives me hope that the right guy will come along and love my daughter pass those moments because when she not mean she is fun and funny, loving, smart, and she is loyal.

    • @mickyfingaz
      @mickyfingaz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@oedivci Hopefully she grows out of that. You may want to explain to her that people, especially when they're growing up, always remember folks who were mean to them, and not in a good way.

    • @oedivci
      @oedivci 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@mickyfingaz For sure. People may forget your name but they will never forget how you made them feel.

    • @veelarea
      @veelarea 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She explained that she’s not really mean; the title “mean girl” is more so describing her no- nonsense and honest approach to things.
      I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t have the pleasure of meeting her in the club because she’s found her person and it doesn’t bother him AT ALL. Everyone is different-instead of judging a stranger off a 30 minute video, be happy that she’s happy with who she’s supposed to be with 😁

  • @marshahinson6930
    @marshahinson6930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    These couples and conversations were beautiful and inspiring, both individually and as a whole! Love, Love, Love! Great Work!

  • @ourbreakthroughpodcast9353
    @ourbreakthroughpodcast9353 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I absolutely LOVE how y’all all just vibe and gel sooo well!!

  • @shayonnaalexander1466
    @shayonnaalexander1466 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    To add, therapy tailors their sessions to each and every client. Not one size fits all.

  • @marie-e.dejean1093
    @marie-e.dejean1093 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Maintenance is better than repair..." Wow! 😲

  • @tamarrdaniels709
    @tamarrdaniels709 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Another great way to look at therapy is to think of it more so under the umbrella of general health. You have to maintain your physical, mental, and spiritual health. It is a piece of the maintenance but is most definitely not one size fits all. Just like you go to an unbiased doctor (hopefully) for your body, it is important to do the same for you mind and then the same for your spirit. Great conversation!

  • @larizg
    @larizg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm going to miss this show. Thanks for the content.

  • @ttoo6463
    @ttoo6463 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Families have done what therapy does for centuries for BP. People that have strong supporting families and friends have therapists and therapy regularly

  • @dawnthompson7743
    @dawnthompson7743 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    We all need to DO THE WORK and be WHOLE before entering a relationship

  • @simplymichelle7380
    @simplymichelle7380 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is so beautiful I enjoy watching these episodes,thanks for sharing…Black Love is Beautiful 💕💜

  • @EnchantedStringsToronto
    @EnchantedStringsToronto 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thankful for this series!💞💓Keep educating, encouraging and inspiring the community.💃🏽✊🏾✊🏿

  • @alexiscaldwell4133
    @alexiscaldwell4133 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I hear what Tommy was trying to say regarding therapy but he never mentioned what the alternative options were… or if he engages in them . He sort of dodged that when Roz asked him, like he dodges every other question lol

  • @k.a.9455
    @k.a.9455 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love the conversations on love and relationship. It’s the black love for me ❤️

  • @EnchantedStringsToronto
    @EnchantedStringsToronto 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Melanie Fiona looking out for Codie!

  • @Yolzee91
    @Yolzee91 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tommy just doesn’t want to admit that he is opposed to therapy. There are also various types of therapy that you can choose from. Come now!

  • @robingray2014
    @robingray2014 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    LOVE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT THERAPY!👏🏾👏🏾❤️❤️

  • @TwannaWalker
    @TwannaWalker 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You All are much needed examples and thanks!

  • @user-xe2io2go1f
    @user-xe2io2go1f 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Oh Lord Melanie doesn't let her husband finish talking. He seems to have sensible things to say but she constantly interrupts him!!! Let the man talk!!!!

    • @ViolaLabi
      @ViolaLabi 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thought the same

    • @GoogleAccount00
      @GoogleAccount00 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The mean girl was the same 🥴

    • @latisewilson4561
      @latisewilson4561 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@GoogleAccount00 Oh my goodness, Yes! They both annoyed me ... did they not learn that in therapy !

  • @LFran-yi9xi
    @LFran-yi9xi 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I agree with Tommy about therapy not being right for everyone. If one has great self-awareness & good outlets for communication (friends/family), then that may be sufficient.

  • @rouztv773
    @rouztv773 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Why the hell are these women so beautiful 😍 omg!

  • @TawandaVance
    @TawandaVance 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Therapy is not a cookie cutter thing, there's different types. So it's good to figure out what works for you.

  • @ShadyBabe31
    @ShadyBabe31 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was beautiful!!! This is my favorite episode

  • @valeriefullilove5198
    @valeriefullilove5198 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Why is this the last season? I'm not done yet :(

  • @marie-e.dejean1093
    @marie-e.dejean1093 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I could see Tommy build a wall. Not a good sign... 😕

  • @oedivci
    @oedivci 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Life is going to life.... Wow so profound. And maintenance instead of repair. ❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰

  • @rebeccac5554
    @rebeccac5554 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks you because you blessed me through yours testimonies 🌟

  • @kirstiegreen6557
    @kirstiegreen6557 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You will truly be MISSED!!! 😫😫😫😚💋

  • @MsHJones
    @MsHJones 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was so good, and I can't wait to see more!

  • @dannebarrett9421
    @dannebarrett9421 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Cody, sounds like he is in denial!!! LOL

  • @chabridgettumusiime8994
    @chabridgettumusiime8994 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What is marriage therapy? Premarital counseling? Therapy is healthy for all humans in relationships for life

  • @Scripturenstyle
    @Scripturenstyle 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Always amazing!! Great talks!! Yes I agree about individual and couples therapy!! 💜

  • @earlenebrown3874
    @earlenebrown3874 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I loved watching this.

  • @onenonlynino
    @onenonlynino 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    "We can grab lunch" yea ok 😂🤣

  • @niecybaby1960
    @niecybaby1960 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    That Tommy is a hand full. He needs therapy! He has a Heart Break story that he is more married to than his wife. I really question are they happy? And I’m not saying therapy is the cure for all relationships but the way he presents is so shut down which to me creates a lot of manipulation and it’s exhausting. Girl I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  • @tboykin13tb
    @tboykin13tb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I am mad @ myself I have missed another episode!!!!!! 😖

  • @khithamagwentshu6353
    @khithamagwentshu6353 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love everything about this episode 💜

  • @tboykin13tb
    @tboykin13tb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tommy sounds like the actor from "A Different World" that was Dwayne's Best Friend, to me.... 🤔

    • @misst3016
      @misst3016 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      He reminds me of Elvin from the Cosby Show.

    • @tboykin13tb
      @tboykin13tb 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@misst3016,
      Yes him

  • @toniaholloway2948
    @toniaholloway2948 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I absolutely love 💗 these episodes 😍

  • @ryanhairston1592
    @ryanhairston1592 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is a good episode

  • @dprince2773
    @dprince2773 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Excellent conversations ❤

  • @TeapotinWonderland
    @TeapotinWonderland 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I like this and these couples!

  • @ameritrini
    @ameritrini 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this conversation!

  • @k2kfitchannel944
    @k2kfitchannel944 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Melanie and Jared are so cool

  • @soundsofwisdomwithwillow1644
    @soundsofwisdomwithwillow1644 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I loveee this group 💐❤️

  • @intellectualsista
    @intellectualsista 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    That was Beautiful

  • @rwaller2106
    @rwaller2106 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Need a “LOVE” option… IJS 🤷🏾‍♀️🥰🥰 continued blessings 🙏🏾💞

  • @grnlwrnc1
    @grnlwrnc1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I wholeheartedly agree with Tommie; and without his vision, none of us would benefit from this show. Solute king!

  • @trinawms3749
    @trinawms3749 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was so entertaining

  • @hiddenandexposedpodcast
    @hiddenandexposedpodcast 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    ✨Good Stuff! ✨

  • @cbgwins
    @cbgwins 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this!!!

  • @deenewton5693
    @deenewton5693 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Love this

  • @mopanetwork
    @mopanetwork 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Come for me when you know I’m your person! Period….!

  • @deeh2553
    @deeh2553 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good talk. I disagree with Tommy but respect his view. Therapy is not one fits all. Each therapist is different and there are different types of therapy. I’m curious what other ways he’s dealing with life.

    • @latisewilson4561
      @latisewilson4561 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's clear therapy doesn't work because they would not let him talk , so I don't blame him

  • @EnchantedStringsToronto
    @EnchantedStringsToronto 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Tommy is so avoidant

  • @christinemarie4247
    @christinemarie4247 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Rosalyn's has good points, but the vulgarness of her language is a little too much. JMO

  • @latisewilson4561
    @latisewilson4561 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ladies, my goodness, please let the men talk geez

  • @Platinumcut26
    @Platinumcut26 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love love love

  • @msfocusedonmejohnson4221
    @msfocusedonmejohnson4221 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Black Love ❤️❤️

  • @rizuejigu7402
    @rizuejigu7402 ปีที่แล้ว

    👏👏

  • @Chocolate.barbie444
    @Chocolate.barbie444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I would hate to see their marriage fall apart because of a conversation about therapy.

  • @beclear2473
    @beclear2473 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The two husbands that are guest are so transparent. Jared is sitting there like a bump on a log. Why is he there?

  • @kelliew.4285
    @kelliew.4285 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don't understand how someone with the Holy Spirit can say that everyone needs to go to therapy. Joyce Meyer, Tyler Perry, and others overcame horrible childhoods by God's grace and wisdom without going to therapy so it can be done. Esp with the amount of self-help resources today. And I've been to therapy but I've definitely found more help from podcasts and asking God to reveal my heart. He will.

    • @RahYisrael99
      @RahYisrael99 ปีที่แล้ว

      So the Holy Spirit takes away the need for therapy, but not podcasts? Interesting

    • @kelliew.4285
      @kelliew.4285 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RahYisrael99 I didn't say Christians shouldn't go to therapy; I said everyone doesn't need it. Therapy can help some people overcome some things but I would personally never say a Christian needs it bc nothing is too hard for God. His Word is active. His Spirit is alive.

  • @apriltune6514
    @apriltune6514 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Let no foul or corrupt communication come out of your mouth if you profess to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

  • @rizuejigu7402
    @rizuejigu7402 ปีที่แล้ว

    👏👏