How I Learned To Overcome Feeling Unworthy Using 3 Simple Tools | Reframe & Overcome Unworthiness
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In this video, I talk about how I learned to overcome feeling unworthy using three simple tools. I will touch on destructive patterns, internal dialogue, cognitive reframing and more!
This is part of my ongoing video series where I share my personal experiences and what healing looked like for me in the hopes of inspiring others and sharing tips on how to do it, remember, if I could do it, you can too!
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#HowToFeelWorthy #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #PDS #ThaisGibson #AttachmentStyles #DestructivePatterns #CognitiveReframing
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Thais hit the nail on the head that if you have genuine friends they usually are almost waiting for you to be vulnerable and are more than happy to be there with you :)
I really needed this today. I had been feeling like my affirmations are feeling hollow. I'm getting through a broken heart and feeling very low about myself
Affirmations in my opinion are over rated and only serve as mental reminders to dig down harder and get your grit. Dont dismiss feeling low about yourself. Find out why other than the obvious reasons. You have to turn the lens on yourself and explore yourself and your feelings and why and heal it. Not focusing your on your outward circumstances or past results.
Break ups get better in time eventually you’ll realize that it gives way for a person who wants be with you. Your forever is still out there. Get excited possibilities are endless. ❤
I just wanted to send you some virtual granny love after reading your message. I know how tough it can be to go through a broken heart. Even though I've now been married for 40yrs, I've had my fair share of messy relationships and heartache. Sometimes relationships cause us to doubt our own worth. I hope you find a way to heal and reclaim your power. Love, Granny Ronna.
Hey how are you doing?
I've been working on people pleasing and feeling unworthy for a long time. I have made massive leaps... I now set loving boundaries with everyone and had to distance myself from those who didn't respect my new self and boundaries. I went no contact with my mom for the 3rd time...she can be awful narcissist. I was thinking of letting her come over for Easter and the thought of seeing her brought up overwhelming feelings of unworthiness. Just the way she looks at me makes me feel awful, not good enough, and a failure.I decided not to invite her and am grateful this all came up. I have some more healing/clearing/rewiring to do.
This video is awesome. Thank you.
I totally understand you, I have a narcissistic father, if the thought of seeing her is enough to trigger, you did the right thing by staying away, you made the right choice, and don't have to feel bad about it. In my case he was all the time making me feel unworthy, that I was not able to accomplish better things in my life, that I was "dumb", so, I set the boundary, cut him completely out of my life, and guess what happened? Everything change! I was able to reach goals that I struggle with for years! Always look for whats best for you!
Goodness me, I read your comment @andi754 and it moved me. Brought back so many flashes as well. It's great to hear you've overcome and that you're proving through your own journey that we can all overcome that feeling of unworthiness. I do a good job most of the time with people pleasing but sometimes, I find myself falling back into those old traps of trying to make people happy at my expense.
Thank you so much❤ you deserve so much love, and so do all of usss!
Thais if you see this, I love PDS and you’ve change my life and helped me in so many ways.
One thing I’m stuck on is this belief: “The more people get to know me, the less they like me.” I think this is a version of a deeply held unworthy core wound, but I’m having a hard time reprogramming it because all my experiences reinforce this. People like me, but only as much as I keep my self to myself. Once I start revealing myself or letting people see more of my flaws, everyone ends up hating me. I don’t know how to find evidence I’m worthy of love if all my experiences seem to say I’m not. I’m so confused. Help! :)
These life examples are so important, especially for people just starting out we look for the "big accomplishments" and over look things like getting up on the morning or even brushing your teeth, feeding ourselves....I remember at one stage I was going through so much I didn't want to get up I starved myself, my ribs were showing just because I had no motivation to do things anymore...Of just do life. But those "small" things was what I worked on I told myself look you fed yourself a nutritious meal today ......
I remember my ex situationship told me after a long break , when I asked her to update me about her what happened in the months we were apart....she said to me "oh, I have nothing big to share" and in that moment I mentioned to her sharing your life with me doesn't necessarily need to be the "big" things like a promotion or buying a house or those , even something as "i tried a new salad today or the usual sandwhich I eat had extra pickles" that to me would be awesome .... But long story short Thank you for sharing thais....It a good reminder to be proud of our small things, I like to call them our "small wins of the day!"
There are different facets we discuss in longer form inside PDS but they include:
A) Worthiness for how you showed up for yourself today
B) Worthiness for your innate, true characteristics and traits (ex. are you naturally kind, naturally caring etc.)
C) Behavioral reprogramming that includes treating yourself each day as if you are worthy (compassionate internal dialogue, self-care routine etc.)
wow. we lived the same life ? i hope you’re doing ok. i’m still fighting a war here, feeding myself feels so hard everyday.
You practice what you preach. I appreciate you sharing your story. You're helping so many people out there. Keep doing what you're doing!
my avoidant always makes me feel like no matter how much i try and work on myself, how much i support him, how attractive i look, how smart i am everything is not enough for him to stay, care or try. i wanna end myself.
Omg exactly what I’m going thru, I was just speaking to my therapist (crying to the therapist about this) yesterday. I wish I could take your class because I desperately need help because I feel like I’ve been going thru a 30 year pattern/cycle that I can’t seem to break free off… but I’m currently unemployed..( I got a few perspectives tho)
Wanting to change but never being able to follow thru & show up for myself
Like I want to, I really want to but I feel like I can’t….
My Therapist: YOU SOUND MANIC
🤦🏽♀️
I’m finally at the end of your video & at this point I wanna ask you if you take Peachstate/Medicaid😂 because it sounds like I really need your services!!!
Hey! Email info@personaldevelopmentschool.com and our team will get you a scholarship :)
Love the personal shares! Some of these things sound tough! but it was very inspiring to hear how she overcame it!
I like an experienced therapist.. 🙏💙
This wound Pissed me off at 1st, I have always thought I had high self esteem so I didn’t understand or want to accept feeling Unworthy. I had to rewatch this again today, after your Scapegoat Webinar. Now I know the where & why it exists. I think I’m able to work through this CW better now. I think this goes along with I am Bad too or the violating my time boundaries to overcompensate.
Thais you’re heaven sent this channel is helping me heal so much ❤
@7:35 yeah I was gonna say worthy cause of being a human being, not doing. I ❤️ you but although you said it's not like you're sooo worthy cause you did all these stuff, but that's where you're getting your worthiness. Idk cause this is still like getting your worth from work (in a way).
But your worthlessness you're also getting from "work".
I suppose you weren't born feeling worthless, it was the programming that shifted your core belief.
How else would your subconscious start believing you're worthy again?
@@NeumanIsrael I guess that's just a general statement you made cause I never said my job makes me feel worthless, this is a tricky one!
I developed a sick pride of being unworthy. When I was young I couldn't take a bath because my dad said it takes too much hot water. I could clean in a short shower, turning off water when I shampooed and washed but only back on to rinse. Instead of feeling bad, I decided I was efficient. However, I never learned that I was worth any indulgence, or worth in things that I needed. If I do, I feel guilty. I hate it.
Thank you, Thais, for sharing your experiences and your insights on this subject so generously as always.
You are a Life saver. Infj women rock ❤️
I still take criticism harshly and I’m still hard on myself.
I struggle with taking criticism as well and I find that I'm extra hard on myself when I feel like I'm letting someone down. Are you using any techniques to alleviate your discomfort?
This video is a game changer. I just know it. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing ❤
Thank you
This is really good. I'm going to try this.
This was a good one, Thais!
Thank you for being so vulnerable
Love and appreciate you Thais!
Tysm🌺
Thank you for sharing your story and your deep words of wisdom. I greatly appreciate it, since feeling unworthy is my top core wound. 💜
❤️🌺 Love you Thais thanks for sharing
❤❤❤❤Thank you so much! ❤❤❤❤
This was so helpful!
I feel the same way I feel like everyone thinks there better than me or wants to compete with me for some reason
I wonder why Thais never mentiones EFT/tapping which seems the best practice to change subconscious patterns.
I have a 21 self love workbook on my desk…I still haven’t completed it but the other day I wanted to see when I actually started this workbook, I felt like absolute 💩💩 I saw 12/14/2021…
Love this
This is the most helpful video.
Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Can you do a video that talks about obsession sexually, and not being able to stand up for yourself. My mind knows what's best. My body reacts, and I end up doing exactly the thing that I did not wat to do. This leads my right back into a codependent and narcissistic situation. Gut wrenching anxiety kicks in and I guess I'm just trying to make that feeling go away... by whatever means necessary.
This was such a vulnerable and deep share @janiacster and you're right. I think it's time we share more about how to deal with some of these unhealthy emotions. Are you currently getting any help so you can break free?
Hmmm, I am on the fence about this. My pattern of beaing Fearful avoidants had me making friends with people who were quite narcissistic (I was very co-dependent). When I tried to change the pattern and ask for help, these so called friends disappeared. It was very painful for me.
Hey. Thank you for your insight and I can relate to so many things you said. I had a hard time understanding why worthiness was connected to anything you do. You said to look for small ways to prove you are worthy. I think worthiness comes from just being and not connected to anything you do. I do an exercise like yours where I celebrate anything I do no matter how small but it doesn’t connect to my worthiness. I’m worthy just bc I exist.But bc there’s no physical evidence or anything I can do to be worthy it’s something I struggle with.Maybe you can clarify or address my thoughts. I’m wanting to keep learning about worthiness. Do you have any advice for me? Thank you so much.
There are different facets we discuss in longer form inside PDS but they include:
A) Worthiness for how you showed up for yourself today
B) Worthiness for your innate, true characteristics and traits (ex. are you naturally kind, naturally caring etc.)
C) Behavioral reprogramming that includes treating yourself each day as if you are worthy (compassionate internal dialogue, self-care routine etc.)
Thanks for this amazing information
5:00
What do you do if you actually can't picture or visualize things?
I can be goal oriented but to actually physically visualize or picture something in my head...it doesn't happen.
What does it mean, I Am Worthy?
I'm curious about this exercise, doesn't it associate your worth to what you do, vs who you are?
It can happen. I was weary of that too, so I reprogram with these pieces of evidence:
- I'm innately worthy because all humans are.
- I am unconditionally worthy regardless of what I do (e.g. making mistakes) or don't do (e.g. not being productive).
- I am unchangably worthy regardless of what others do or do not do (meaning: someone else's poor behavior is never a reflection of my worth)
Worked well for me :)
@@lara-fruehling that sounds amazing, I will try it. Thank you!
You're very welcome! 🌻
@@lara-fruehling thank you💕so helpful!
This is me
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#Unworthy growing up I had two gf that both thought they were unworthy. Never made sense to me. They would just put themselves down. Made no sense to me. I could encourage and encourage and encourage and still they feel unworthy. Made no sense to me. I think for some people their home lives or the lack of healthy love in their lives causes a big enough disconnect that they're almost always feeling poorly about themselves. Some people go through things harder than others and come out worse than some others. Jasmine, why cant you lift 50 lbs? Samantha can lift 50 lbs! Jasmine: Cause i'm 5 and Samantha is 15. Some people get more time and influence to get stronger than others so when a tidal wave comes along it impacts differently. Healthy love of others, healthy love for self, healthy use of stuff. #Centered #Balance 🥰🤩💜💙❤🖤🤍🤎💚
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