I'm amazed by the honesty of the language in this show. Watching it in 2023- I am like- they said dyke! fag! The n-word! But the result was a very candid conversation in which someone may have learned something
I for one, as a gay man, don't appreciate the censorship of words that I've faced in person. I can handle "fag" being used in conversation or within the context of what someone said or text from a book.
It honestly doesn't make sense because if I were gay and I'm attracted to women why wouldn't I want a feminine looking woman? So you should only assume that there are feminine lesbians out there today
@@saramarshall2957Exactly, thank you! I understand there are lesbians out there who are more masculine in appearance and personality, but I prefer feminine lesbians. I have nothing against masculine lesbians, but to me, it's kind of like dating a man.
As a queer person myself, i accept that a lot of queer stereotypes exist for a reason. A lot of stereotypes, not just among "my people" are true. It's just that they are not ALWAYS true. They may not even be a majority. But they exist. As someone who's spent years in the queer community, i can tell you a LOT of lesbians in the 90's wore flannel, had short hair, and did the whole "U-Haul on the second date" thing.
Stereotypes tend to have a nugget of truth in them -tend to have SOME basis in reality and don't totally exist in a vacuum -they do tend to be problematic though
If you watch most hosts from the 90s - Geraldo, Jenny, Oprah - they're not terribly respectful. They are only in my memory. But when I watch them - my jaw drops. Very rude and snarky. Of all the 90s hosts, Sally is the most thoughtful, kind and she truly cares for the wellbeing of her guests. She doesn't insult them or laugh at their expense. She is so intelligent and she truly respects her audience and guests. She's a great role model.
I know your comment was posted a year ago, but I totally agree with you. Sally was absolutely the most respectful, considerate, and professional talk show host...no drama, just serious, yet thoughtful, conversation addressing important social issues within our society.
So weird how the ppl asking questions want these women to JUSTIFY themselves, like “what can a woman do for you that a man can’t?” What??? She just likes women, it’s not that hard to understand!! Lol. And the ladies on the panel didn’t really talk about men but the questions were very much coming from a place of those people thinking lesbian = hates men / a man did her wrong. Very interesting (and sexist) way of thinking.
This was absolutely fascinating. Not that I didn't know a lot of this just by being bi and 40 but seeing it from a 90s point of view I super cool and because I've learned new things and I think we don't hear about lesbian culture as much as gay male lifestyle and culture.
@@kornmaze For sure. I think that the LGBTQ community has made great strides in recent years, but it's maddening that lesbians are STILL reduced to sexual objects just as straight women are. Ridiculous.
Butch/Masc/Stud women are magic. This conversation is some toxic shit. I lived through this era as a teen. It was brutal. Women during COVID starting seeing butch women suits and had some serious feels about it. It was whole ass lavender wave that started.
Omg I googled all the women on this panel and Lisa Winters turned out to be a massive embezzler!! Cool to find out more about the panel members whose careers were really interesting.
My neighbor and I dressed very guy-ish. We had short hair and she even wore her dad's shirts. Despite what strangers thought of us,we were and are totally straight!🙀🙀🙀
14:58 this is how I feel about the Q and the F word. I get it, there are movements to reclaim words, but I choose not to associate with those movements.
Speaking as a gay man, we've come a long way but still have a ways to go as a society. The stereotypes amongst lesbian women and gay men will always be there and don't fit most of us. We're all different just like every cis het person is different.
When I was a teen I used to carry a wallet in my back pocket, my mom hated it. I think she thought I was a lesbian for a long time. Lol I still carry a wallet, just not in my back pocket., and I carry a purse now which I was vehemently against as a teen
Was waiting for the Black chick to extend her arm across that girl's face for saying that word lol. But she makes a good point: Context matters. Who's saying it, the tone, intention, how closely acquainted you are, setting, etc. Words themselves hold no power--it's all about the context.
my earliest memories are of what i thought of as stale too bright headache inducing boring 90s but now i know how heavenly that era was, born in 1987 i was born into a vaporwave as thick as can be, and i remember fall of soviet union on tv as i grew up which i belieev was central tothe vaporwave aesthetic and then the fruitger aero, and that aesthetic people love today even if they were too young to remember it, its liek playing with toys on the carpets of the bridge of the uss enterprise, it is like playing megarace in a tokyo luxury apt on a projector, or like watching michael jackson music videos at a disneyland hotel room and then seeing michael jackson cross the street by chance as u drive thrugh beverkly hills in 1992 when your 5 years old, its an incredible feeling back then when you knewthat teh world was justa ctually really fun, and as soon as the bush cheney administration came in we had this very stalke feeling like forcing the reaganistic feelinmgs of the 80s but they werenta ctually authentic , so ya its a shame how on 911 aqll that stuf stopped mostly cuz of the iraq and afghan wars that iraq war just dedstroyted our spirit and yearning for abrighter future that we all shared, liek watching seuinbfled in the late 90s and hearing the neighbors laugh at jokes, seeiung the seinfeld and fiends characters in new york city, that amazing image of new yuork, in 2011 i wa slucky enuyfto visit and sat at the rocks and felt liuke i was in a movie, yeah the vaporwave aesthetic is so powerful heer with daytime tv. u could make a museum of the late 80s early 90s era with early 90s living rooms with this show and rosanne on and stuff, and then the next room is when u go into the mid to late 980s and get home improveent and simpsons starts getting crazier and u get family guy, and thinsg get wacky simpsons bridges the gap and is liek pewewees playhouse aetshetic in teh very late 80s its vcrazy maaaan, that whole feeling is liek BEING AT A BEN AND JERRYS in 1991, ist a cRAZY FEELING like ur INSIDE The reading rainbow
Lesbians are more warm and caring than a lot of gay men who seem so jealous and snarky about women because they see them as competition when it shouldn't be that way because gay men should pursue other gay men and not straight men. My therapist is a lesbian and is very warm and kind. My daughter's preschool teacher was a lesbian and was great with kids. They have that maternal instinct and just seem to love people. Gay men seem internally unhappy and are more cutthroat to women. Just my opinion. I've met only one lesbian that really hated men and I think she was internally unhappy with herself and was pushing her son to be transgender because she hated that he was male so much. A lesbian couple bought our old house and got married on the property and fixed up the house to make it beautiful.
I think you're generalizing. I've met plenty of gay men who were perfectly lovely, and others who were, as you say, snarky. I've met lesbians who were perfectly lovely, and others who seemed to generally hate men. Both gay men and lesbians, in some cases, seem to have issues with trans people because they're "stealing our men/women" or whatever. There are misguided assholes in every group, although I can honestly say I've never met a gay man who saw women as "competition." I had a buddy a while back who I'd joke with when we saw hot guys with their girlfriends and say, "Ditch the bitch and switch!" But that's all it was - joking. The idea that those women had something that belonged to us didn't even occur to us.
You must have met some nasty gay guys. Lol I’ve always loved women! Women are a gay guys best friend. What would we have done without women? I hope you meet some nice gay men. We are not all bitches. Lol I think some people are just assholes!
That's true, but the point is, stereotypes aren't rule of thumb or even based in majority. I've probably met more traditionally masculine gay men than feminine in my time. The more feminine types are perfectly fine the way they are, but it's irritating when people question whether I'm "really gay" because I'm not obsessed with Cher or Drag Race.
@@kenhollis6197I don’t know that many gay people but my sister is gay and she fits all the lesbian/“dike” stereotypes.. My comment was about stereotypes in general, not necessarily about gay people
Ooh she really said the full N word!!! Omg, jeez!!!! But yes that's how it works, if u are in the group u can say those words, but only if u are apart of that group
No, when you say "lesbian" I think of you - no joke. I am convinced SJR is bi or gay. One day back in the 80s or 90s some people were watching TV I happened to pass thru the living room and I heard a womans voice I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the TV. I said that woman is gay. It was all women watching the show. They started asking questions who such and such a woman? I said the woman with medium length blond hair. They were saying things like "that's ridiculous". Years later she came out, Ellen DeGeneres. Yes, yes I know it isn't EG in this show I am just making an example. I could be somewhere not really paying attention then suddenly I hear or see a woman and for some reason am suddenly convinced she is gay or bi.
Fast forward to 2004 and BOOM! There's the L Word! Lesbians can and do wear whatever they want; it does not define you. I love both butch & femme; if everyone looked the same, it would be really boring.
It may have been, but you have to crawl before you walk. In order for people to evolve, you have to have a dialogue. Sometimes that dialogue is going to ruffle some feathers. Progress doesn't happen without struggle. If it weren't for these types of discussions, society would never advance.
I am a gay man myself and as Alexis says-"I wish people would just look at gay people as people." But with all this lgbtxyz nonsense is it any wonder that they don't?!
@@WHU-lz7gq ok that's the lifestyle she has choosen. It's that Simple!! she admitted that's her choice. she confess that!!! eternity its forever. Romans 1:26-27, ecclesiastes 7:29
When your on a talk show and your trying to make people understand something that is so important to you you do tend to talk a lot. If you were talking about something that mattered to you you'd do the same thing. There was a video about gay men in 1982 and they spoke a lot too because they were passionate
This was in 1991. The war is still on TODAY IN 2023. but woman can marry women. And men can marry men. and still will not herit the kingdom don't be deceive.
@@omegawicked1 There is no kingdom to inherit though you just don't like people different from you and think they're going to an imaginary place called hell
That blonde guest is such a blast love her😃😃
I'm amazed by the honesty of the language in this show. Watching it in 2023- I am like- they said dyke! fag! The n-word! But the result was a very candid conversation in which someone may have learned something
Today you don’t get a candid conversation and that’s even after all the censorship.. that should tell people something
I for one, as a gay man, don't appreciate the censorship of words that I've faced in person. I can handle "fag" being used in conversation or within the context of what someone said or text from a book.
good point!@@kenhollis6197
I was thinking that too I was shocked when that one white girl said the n word like 5 times 😭
@@kenhollis6197 I've seen guys use the word among each other many times.
Thank you for this upload. It annoys me to no end, how people assume I'm straight because I'm 'feminine.'
It honestly doesn't make sense because if I were gay and I'm attracted to women why wouldn't I want a feminine looking woman? So you should only assume that there are feminine lesbians out there today
@@saramarshall2957Exactly, thank you! I understand there are lesbians out there who are more masculine in appearance and personality, but I prefer feminine lesbians. I have nothing against masculine lesbians, but to me, it's kind of like dating a man.
As a queer person myself, i accept that a lot of queer stereotypes exist for a reason. A lot of stereotypes, not just among "my people" are true. It's just that they are not ALWAYS true. They may not even be a majority. But they exist. As someone who's spent years in the queer community, i can tell you a LOT of lesbians in the 90's wore flannel, had short hair, and did the whole "U-Haul on the second date" thing.
The U-haul thing is hilarious.
Stereotypes tend to have a nugget of truth in them -tend to have SOME basis in reality and don't totally exist in a vacuum -they do tend to be problematic though
If you watch most hosts from the 90s - Geraldo, Jenny, Oprah - they're not terribly respectful. They are only in my memory. But when I watch them - my jaw drops. Very rude and snarky. Of all the 90s hosts, Sally is the most thoughtful, kind and she truly cares for the wellbeing of her guests. She doesn't insult them or laugh at their expense. She is so intelligent and she truly respects her audience and guests. She's a great role model.
I think Sally and oprah was very respectful, Geraldo was a little rude
@@thekaerichtexas Oprah was respectful, thought people felt Oprah exploted people like Jenny Jones.
@@thekaerichtexas montell williams too
I know your comment was posted a year ago, but I totally agree with you. Sally was absolutely the most respectful, considerate, and professional talk show host...no drama, just serious, yet thoughtful, conversation addressing important social issues within our society.
Jenny jones was very rude
So weird how the ppl asking questions want these women to JUSTIFY themselves, like “what can a woman do for you that a man can’t?” What??? She just likes women, it’s not that hard to understand!! Lol.
And the ladies on the panel didn’t really talk about men but the questions were very much coming from a place of those people thinking lesbian = hates men / a man did her wrong. Very interesting (and sexist) way of thinking.
This was absolutely fascinating. Not that I didn't know a lot of this just by being bi and 40 but seeing it from a 90s point of view I super cool and because I've learned new things and I think we don't hear about lesbian culture as much as gay male lifestyle and culture.
Very true! It's very sad that gay men, like myself, are always put on a pedestal, whereas lesbians are put in the back burner. That ain't right.
@@kornmaze For sure. I think that the LGBTQ community has made great strides in recent years, but it's maddening that lesbians are STILL reduced to sexual objects just as straight women are. Ridiculous.
Youre not 40.
You look in your 20’s still 🌸💖
😊😊😊😢p😊😊
L
I’m a lesbian in flannel, jeans, and chain wallet in back pocket lol
😉😚
Butch/Masc/Stud women are magic. This conversation is some toxic shit. I lived through this era as a teen. It was brutal. Women during COVID starting seeing butch women suits and had some serious feels about it. It was whole ass lavender wave that started.
😂
Cool. If being that fits you then be you! Ignore the slamming and don't be ashamed!
This is hysterical to watch in 2022
I know, right hahhaaaa how things have come along...for the better.
Omg I googled all the women on this panel and Lisa Winters turned out to be a massive embezzler!!
Cool to find out more about the panel members whose careers were really interesting.
Oh, Suzanne Westenhoefer!!!! I LOVE her comedy!
Omg i didn’t even recognize her at first! Imo she looks better now than when she first started out on the comedy circuits
90s hair was great and terrible at the same time. Wow kudos to Suzanne, she had the Trifecta, teased hair, curls and shoulder pads👏
Yeah they definitely aren't stereotypical 90s lesbians, but they still unfortunately all wear stereotypical late 80s hair and clothing.
Wasn't stereotypical then.
30 years ago today she felt completely comfortable sitting in that seat saying that 😢
Cry more you sissy
Yes yes yes yes all the Sally's PLEEEEEEEASE
26:25 was probably the biggest mic drop I've ever heard.
100% yes!!!!! great answer.
Love Sally's highlights whoooahh
Eesh, the N-bomb. That part made me cringe.
Same.
I gasped way to loud
i didn’t catch it what part
Same. But in those days unless you were actually calling someone the n word it was considered acceptable to use it, instead of saying "the n word"
@@annalavigne629 @14:14
My neighbor and I dressed very guy-ish. We had short hair and she even wore her dad's shirts. Despite what strangers thought of us,we were and are totally straight!🙀🙀🙀
The 90s…😅 Throwing the ‘N word with the hard R’ out there like nothing.
Colonizers do blow... they blow away the natives and take over!
Suzanne has alot of good points.
Dude...they dropped there n word with the hard r like 20 times! The 90s were wild!
14:58 this is how I feel about the Q and the F word.
I get it, there are movements to reclaim words, but I choose not to associate with those movements.
Speaking as a gay man, we've come a long way but still have a ways to go as a society. The stereotypes amongst lesbian women and gay men will always be there and don't fit most of us. We're all different just like every cis het person is different.
When I was a teen I used to carry a wallet in my back pocket, my mom hated it. I think she thought I was a lesbian for a long time. Lol I still carry a wallet, just not in my back pocket., and I carry a purse now which I was vehemently against as a teen
I hate purse's. In love with backpack's and I carry a minimalist style wallet in my front pocket. I get looks from most women.
Was waiting for the Black chick to extend her arm across that girl's face for saying that word lol.
But she makes a good point: Context matters. Who's saying it, the tone, intention, how closely acquainted you are, setting, etc. Words themselves hold no power--it's all about the context.
my earliest memories are of what i thought of as stale too bright headache inducing boring 90s but now i know how heavenly that era was, born in 1987 i was born into a vaporwave as thick as can be, and i remember fall of soviet union on tv as i grew up which i belieev was central tothe vaporwave aesthetic and then the fruitger aero, and that aesthetic people love today even if they were too young to remember it, its liek playing with toys on the carpets of the bridge of the uss enterprise, it is like playing megarace in a tokyo luxury apt on a projector, or like watching michael jackson music videos at a disneyland hotel room and then seeing michael jackson cross the street by chance as u drive thrugh beverkly hills in 1992 when your 5 years old, its an incredible feeling back then when you knewthat teh world was justa ctually really fun, and as soon as the bush cheney administration came in we had this very stalke feeling like forcing the reaganistic feelinmgs of the 80s but they werenta ctually authentic , so ya its a shame how on 911 aqll that stuf stopped mostly cuz of the iraq and afghan wars that iraq war just dedstroyted our spirit and yearning for abrighter future that we all shared, liek watching seuinbfled in the late 90s and hearing the neighbors laugh at jokes, seeiung the seinfeld and fiends characters in new york city, that amazing image of new yuork, in 2011 i wa slucky enuyfto visit and sat at the rocks and felt liuke i was in a movie, yeah the vaporwave aesthetic is so powerful heer with daytime tv. u could make a museum of the late 80s early 90s era with early 90s living rooms with this show and rosanne on and stuff, and then the next room is when u go into the mid to late 980s and get home improveent and simpsons starts getting crazier and u get family guy, and thinsg get wacky
simpsons bridges the gap and is liek pewewees playhouse aetshetic in teh very late 80s its vcrazy maaaan, that whole feeling is liek BEING AT A BEN AND JERRYS in 1991, ist a cRAZY FEELING like ur INSIDE The reading rainbow
I'm a gay man and hear gay men calling each other the f-word all the time.
*Walter Matthau voice* "Ooo, Lesbians!"
Wow! Am I the only one who had the "Mufasa, Mufasa, Mufasa," level shudder when they said the N word?
where? i think i missed it
@@annalavigne629 @14:14
You'll live.
As a non-western lesbian, I hate these stereotypes
Lesbians are more warm and caring than a lot of gay men who seem so jealous and snarky about women because they see them as competition when it shouldn't be that way because gay men should pursue other gay men and not straight men. My therapist is a lesbian and is very warm and kind. My daughter's preschool teacher was a lesbian and was great with kids. They have that maternal instinct and just seem to love people. Gay men seem internally unhappy and are more cutthroat to women. Just my opinion. I've met only one lesbian that really hated men and I think she was internally unhappy with herself and was pushing her son to be transgender because she hated that he was male so much. A lesbian couple bought our old house and got married on the property and fixed up the house to make it beautiful.
I think you're generalizing. I've met plenty of gay men who were perfectly lovely, and others who were, as you say, snarky. I've met lesbians who were perfectly lovely, and others who seemed to generally hate men. Both gay men and lesbians, in some cases, seem to have issues with trans people because they're "stealing our men/women" or whatever.
There are misguided assholes in every group, although I can honestly say I've never met a gay man who saw women as "competition." I had a buddy a while back who I'd joke with when we saw hot guys with their girlfriends and say, "Ditch the bitch and switch!" But that's all it was - joking. The idea that those women had something that belonged to us didn't even occur to us.
You must have met some nasty gay guys. Lol I’ve always loved women! Women are a gay guys best friend. What would we have done without women? I hope you meet some nice gay men. We are not all bitches. Lol I think some people are just assholes!
What year was this?
'91
There’s a reason stereotypes exist though.. they weren’t just imagined up one day by someone randomly for no reason…
That's true, but the point is, stereotypes aren't rule of thumb or even based in majority. I've probably met more traditionally masculine gay men than feminine in my time. The more feminine types are perfectly fine the way they are, but it's irritating when people question whether I'm "really gay" because I'm not obsessed with Cher or Drag Race.
@@kenhollis6197I don’t know that many gay people but my sister is gay and she fits all the lesbian/“dike” stereotypes..
My comment was about stereotypes in general, not necessarily about gay people
Ooh she really said the full N word!!! Omg, jeez!!!! But yes that's how it works, if u are in the group u can say those words, but only if u are apart of that group
31:08 citation please
I thought Alexis McKenzie was Whitney Houston
No, when you say "lesbian" I think of you - no joke. I am convinced SJR is bi or gay. One day back in the 80s or 90s some people were watching TV I happened to pass thru the living room and I heard a womans voice I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the TV. I said that woman is gay. It was all women watching the show. They started asking questions who such and such a woman? I said the woman with medium length blond hair. They were saying things like "that's ridiculous". Years later she came out, Ellen DeGeneres. Yes, yes I know it isn't EG in this show I am just making an example. I could be somewhere not really paying attention then suddenly I hear or see a woman and for some reason am suddenly convinced she is gay or bi.
Gay People come in all shapes, sizes and colors
Fast forward to 2004 and BOOM! There's the L Word! Lesbians can and do wear whatever they want; it does not define you. I love both butch & femme; if everyone looked the same, it would be really boring.
Wow the homophobia and patriarchal thought is so prevalent here
Do be quiet talking nonsense.
I love how much this is triggering you people
I totally agree - very very cringey and FULL of homophobia, patriarchal based views and little bits of anti trans sentiments. Ick
It may have been, but you have to crawl before you walk. In order for people to evolve, you have to have a dialogue. Sometimes that dialogue is going to ruffle some feathers. Progress doesn't happen without struggle. If it weren't for these types of discussions, society would never advance.
Oof. Saying the n word next to a black woman... The 90s were definitely different lol
Being gay and coming on a talk show you have to know that you will be judged.
And your point??
@@FER-is7ft
Wtf is your point 🙄
U will receive SOUND JUDGMENT
I am a gay man myself and as Alexis says-"I wish people would just look at gay people as people." But with all this lgbtxyz nonsense is it any wonder that they don't?!
Sally was such a phoney, she would have shills in the audience playing the parts.
How can you be religious and gay? Respect one or the other.
Wilson Ronald Martinez Maria Moore Charles
No one up there looks very butch but I guess
That’s the point,they aren’t the stereotype.
The transphobia is in her pick
Who gave Sally the N card?
It was 1991 honey, people didn't police their language based on how offended idiots like you were
No one needs special permission to say words. That's just stupid.
I think why she had them children?
Because she wanted to be a mother and she was married which means she thought she was in love with a man.
@@WHU-lz7gq ok that's the lifestyle she has choosen. It's that Simple!! she admitted that's her choice. she confess that!!! eternity its forever. Romans
1:26-27, ecclesiastes 7:29
I still believe in God's word.
Proof , women talk too much.
When your on a talk show and your trying to make people understand something that is so important to you you do tend to talk a lot. If you were talking about something that mattered to you you'd do the same thing. There was a video about gay men in 1982 and they spoke a lot too because they were passionate
This was in 1991. The war is still on TODAY IN 2023. but woman can marry women. And men can marry men. and still will not herit the kingdom don't be deceive.
What kingdom??
@@ChillingTales12 HEAVEN!!! 1corinthians 6:9-10
@@ChillingTales12😂😅😂😅 amazing!
@@omegawicked1 There is no kingdom to inherit though you just don't like people different from you and think they're going to an imaginary place called hell
@@ChillingTales12 ok the worm is not goin to die and the flame is not going out. revelations 21:6-8, jude 1:7
Wrong!!!!!
?
I know a word a ABOMINATION
lol go back to church
*an
@@slurpee4203 u know what your reading. That simple
@@omegawicked1 and you don’t know what you’re saying nor do you know proper grammar… and it’s YOU’RE, not your
I know a couple of words, CONTEXT AND INTERPRETATION. Let me know when you figure those out.
What year was this?
1991